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🔥 | Latest

Beard, Beautiful, and Children: hu by Tami feminismandmedia: fairyofsomething: affinityforthestars: jumpingjacktrash: curlicuecal: uluhlynx: sweet-saccharin: if this ain’t the most beautiful mermaid you’ve ever seen… He looks so happy 10/10 a good mermaid the mermaid of happiness Reblog to have good and warm feelings ;w; <3 I think he’s actually from the Merby group. It’s a bunch dudes with facial hair who get together, put on tails, and do a photoshoot. This photoshoot gets turned into a calendar which is then sold and most (if not all) proceeds go to charity. Their most recent charity went to VPNL, which according to their website “works diligently throughout the province to change attitudes, behaviours, and social norms associated with violence. VPNL organizations provide violence prevention and early intervention services to those most at risk of experiencing violence: women, children and youth, Indigenous women and children, older persons, persons with disabilities, persons of varying race or ethnicity, LGBTQ+ persons, and persons of varying economic status.” They also currently have applications open for new merbys! Aside from it going to a great cause, it’s also a super funny & cute calendar! It makes for a great gift. I got two in 2018! Oh and they’re also hella inclusive and socially conscious. One of my favorite quotes from the Merby site: “Inclusion is our jam. Humans of all genders, ethnicities, faiths, abilities and ages are welcome. Good people, doing good things, having fun the whole time – that’s who we are. Ability to grow facial hair is irrelevant – it’s the beard inside that matters most.”
Beard, Beautiful, and Children: hu by Tami
feminismandmedia:

fairyofsomething:

affinityforthestars:

jumpingjacktrash:

curlicuecal:

uluhlynx:

sweet-saccharin:
if this ain’t the most beautiful mermaid you’ve ever seen…

He looks so happy


10/10 a good mermaid

the mermaid of happiness


Reblog to have good and warm feelings

;w; <3

I think he’s actually from the Merby group. It’s a bunch dudes with facial hair who get together, put on tails, and do a photoshoot. 
This photoshoot gets turned into a calendar which is then sold and most (if not all) proceeds go to charity. 
Their most recent charity went to VPNL, which according to their website  “works diligently throughout the province to change attitudes, behaviours, and social norms associated with violence. VPNL organizations provide violence prevention and early intervention services to those most at risk of experiencing violence: women, children and youth, Indigenous women and children, older persons, persons with disabilities, persons of varying race or ethnicity, LGBTQ+ persons, and persons of varying economic status.”
They also currently have applications open for new merbys!
Aside from it going to a great cause, it’s also a super funny & cute calendar! It makes for a great gift. I got two in 2018! 
Oh and they’re also hella inclusive and socially conscious. One of my favorite quotes from the Merby site: 
“Inclusion is our jam. Humans of all genders, ethnicities, faiths, abilities and ages are welcome. Good people, doing good things, having fun the whole time – that’s who we are. Ability to grow facial hair is irrelevant – it’s the beard inside that matters most.”

feminismandmedia: fairyofsomething: affinityforthestars: jumpingjacktrash: curlicuecal: uluhlynx: sweet-saccharin: if this ain’t the m...

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one night to the smell of smoke, you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway scream unable to accept your Screi doom. That's when Yesterday 10:31 pm Bill and hitler You lie down and Surely that's the only reasonable answer your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for vou dear life as he takes you e and places you on the grass "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u Yesterday 10:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice but I admire your conviction. He bt's the last you ever see back inside, but runs alas, of him You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in mparison to the heartbreak you Today 12:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage. Today 1:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Type a message Send Type a message Send Iidppess IS. Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me. having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young Today 3:17 am couple come in, they remind you Can I change my answer डि ग कार सा much of your parents except ा they've already got a क पाCgical Be my guest son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family a f your last chance at livinga shildhood, When the time has as Me so I never have to think about that again come for them to formally tell the which child orphanage matron they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage, get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness is. That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Today 10:22 am Okay pls don't unmatch, this is important stuff now. But do you think it's sometimes better to ask forgiveness rather than permission? I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Yes Type a message Send Type a message.. Send Why he hates Stuart Little
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a
 room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi
 B, a massive spider and Stuart
 Little. Who you shooting?
 Your days are filled with fun and
 kindness as your loving parents
 try to nurture you in the most
 pleasant environment possible.
 One day you awaken one night to
 the smell of smoke, you open your
 eyes and begin to choke, you try
 to find your parents but you can't
 get past the toddler-proof gate in
 the doorway
 scream unable to accept your
 Screi doom. That's when
 Yesterday 10:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 You lie down and
 Surely that's the only reasonable
 answer
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for vou
 dear life as he takes you e
 and places you on the grass
 "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u
 Yesterday 10:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer is
 to shoot Stuart twice but I admire
 your conviction.
 He bt's the last you ever see
 back inside, but
 runs
 alas,
 of him
 You escape the ordeal with minor
 scarring, but it's nothing in
 mparison to the heartbreak you
 Today 12:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for that
 one pls sir
 felt that night. You have no
 grandparents, no aunties or
 uncles, no guardians whatsoever,
 and as a result, are forced to live
 in an orphanage.
 Today 1:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother and
 father who love you very much.
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message
 Send
 Iidppess IS.
 Day, weeks, months, years go by,
 and as you watch all the other
 orphans leave with their new
 foster parents, you're hopes of
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me.
 having a happy life diminish more
 and more. One day a young
 Today 3:17 am
 couple come in, they remind you
 Can I change my answer
 डि ग कार सा
 much of your parents except
 ा
 they've already got a
 क पाCgical
 Be my guest
 son. But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make
 an impression on
 this family a f your last
 chance at livinga
 shildhood, When the time has
 as
 Me so I never have to think about
 that again
 come for them to formally tell the
 which child
 orphanage matron
 they are going to adopt, you
 eagerly await your name to be
 announced. That's when they
 adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD
 OF YOU. This destroys your
 morale, you give up, you run away
 from the orphanage, get raised by
 the streets as a petty pickpocket,
 you'll never remember what true
 happiness is.
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Today 10:22 am
 Okay pls don't unmatch, this is
 important stuff now. But do you
 think it's sometimes better to ask
 forgiveness rather than
 permission?
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Yes
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message..
 Send
Why he hates Stuart Little

Why he hates Stuart Little

Fucking, Future, and Love: UZIL SRAAK WILL BRANDISH OUR HEADS BEFORE THE QUEEN. OUR MISSION LIES BELOW. THIS IS TREASON. ONLY IF YOu TELL HIM WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? NO. WHATEVER SLUDGE FILLS YOUR SKULL CAN TELL INTERESTING STORIES, BUT I'M CERTAIN IT'S NOT CONNECTED TO A FUCKING TRINITY OF MYSTICAL SLEEPING WORMS I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT YOUR PROPHECIES LEAKED OUT FROM THE IMULSION CORROSION IN YOUR BRAIN. FUCK THE TRINITY! I'VE A MORE GLORIOUS DEATH IN MIND YOU'VE FINALLY SEEN THE LIGHT BROTHER? CONTINUE TO OFFEND THE .GODS WITH HERESY, AND I DOUBT THEY WILL SLEEP MUCH LONGER I WOULD HAVE THE BLOODIED VANGUARD TASTE VICTORY. DRINK HOT BLOOD FROM AN ENEMY CRUSHED BY FEAR BEFORE ITS MISERABLE DEATH THEY HAVE NO IMAGINATION FOR THE ENEMY THAT MARCHES BELOW THE MINDLESS ABOMINATIONS CAN HAVE THE HOLLOW. THIS IS OUR FUTURE EATE OUR FATE エ'LL STAND WITH YOu. I REFUSE TO BE CLAIMED BY A PITIFUL END MAD BASTARD. NO, SKORGE. WE WILL COME TO A RIGHTEOUS ONE WHERE DO WE BEGIN? A SMALL MATTER OF MARCHING OUR COMPANY TO THE INNER HOLLOW, CUTTING THROUGH UZIL SRAAK AND HIS HORDE OF THERON ELITE AND GAINING AN AUDIENCE WITH THE QUEEN HERSELF AN INTERESTING PLOT... AND YET. I HAVE A BETTER PLAN MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE STOOD NEXT TO MY MAGGOTS AND SHOWN THE HOW IT'S DONE. TRINITY'S ROTTED CORPSE RAAM... I SAID NEGOTIATE. THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I HAD ATTAINED NEAR DIVINE PRIVILEGE PROMISING ACOLYTE OF THE KANTUS. EXCLUSIVE QUARTERS. BREEDING RIGHTS, EVEN. CАНАНАНА! ONLY FUCKING I SEE NOW IS BY PRUDGE TENTACLES YOUR HUBRIS iS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME! taco-flavored-kisses: I love how this Rise of RAAM comic is portraying Skorge and RAAM. They are total bros. Like Marcus and Dom.I never expected these two to work with each other, much less be buddies… but damn do I love it.They even call each other “brother”.
Fucking, Future, and Love: UZIL SRAAK WILL
 BRANDISH OUR
 HEADS BEFORE THE
 QUEEN. OUR MISSION
 LIES BELOW. THIS
 IS TREASON.
 ONLY IF
 YOu TELL
 HIM
 WHAT ARE
 WE DOING
 HERE?
 NO. WHATEVER
 SLUDGE FILLS YOUR
 SKULL CAN TELL
 INTERESTING STORIES,
 BUT I'M CERTAIN IT'S
 NOT CONNECTED TO A
 FUCKING TRINITY OF
 MYSTICAL SLEEPING
 WORMS
 I'VE ALWAYS
 BELIEVED THAT
 YOUR PROPHECIES
 LEAKED OUT FROM
 THE IMULSION
 CORROSION IN
 YOUR BRAIN.
 FUCK THE
 TRINITY! I'VE A
 MORE GLORIOUS
 DEATH IN MIND
 YOU'VE
 FINALLY SEEN
 THE LIGHT
 BROTHER?
 CONTINUE TO
 OFFEND THE
 .GODS WITH
 HERESY, AND I
 DOUBT THEY WILL
 SLEEP MUCH
 LONGER

 I WOULD HAVE THE BLOODIED
 VANGUARD TASTE VICTORY. DRINK
 HOT BLOOD FROM AN ENEMY
 CRUSHED BY FEAR BEFORE
 ITS MISERABLE DEATH
 THEY HAVE NO
 IMAGINATION FOR
 THE ENEMY THAT
 MARCHES
 BELOW
 THE MINDLESS
 ABOMINATIONS
 CAN HAVE THE
 HOLLOW. THIS IS
 OUR FUTURE
 EATE
 OUR FATE
 エ'LL STAND
 WITH YOu. I
 REFUSE TO BE
 CLAIMED BY A
 PITIFUL END
 MAD
 BASTARD.
 NO, SKORGE.
 WE WILL COME
 TO A RIGHTEOUS
 ONE
 WHERE
 DO WE
 BEGIN?
 A SMALL MATTER
 OF MARCHING OUR
 COMPANY TO THE INNER
 HOLLOW, CUTTING
 THROUGH UZIL SRAAK AND
 HIS HORDE OF THERON
 ELITE AND GAINING AN
 AUDIENCE WITH THE
 QUEEN HERSELF
 AN
 INTERESTING
 PLOT... AND
 YET.
 I HAVE A
 BETTER
 PLAN

 MAYBE YOU
 SHOULD'VE
 STOOD NEXT TO
 MY MAGGOTS AND
 SHOWN THE HOW
 IT'S DONE.
 TRINITY'S
 ROTTED CORPSE
 RAAM... I SAID
 NEGOTIATE.

 THERE WAS A TIME
 WHEN I HAD ATTAINED
 NEAR DIVINE PRIVILEGE
 PROMISING ACOLYTE OF
 THE KANTUS. EXCLUSIVE
 QUARTERS. BREEDING
 RIGHTS, EVEN.
 CАНАНАНА!
 ONLY FUCKING
 I SEE NOW IS
 BY PRUDGE
 TENTACLES

 YOUR HUBRIS
 iS GOING TO
 BE THE DEATH
 OF ME!
taco-flavored-kisses:

I love how this Rise of RAAM comic is portraying Skorge and RAAM. They are total bros. Like Marcus and Dom.I never expected these two to work with each other, much less be buddies… but damn do I love it.They even call each other “brother”.

taco-flavored-kisses: I love how this Rise of RAAM comic is portraying Skorge and RAAM. They are total bros. Like Marcus and Dom.I never ex...

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32 You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Wednesday 11:31 pm Bill and hitler Surely that's the only reasonable answer Wednesday 11:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice butI admire your conviction. Today 1:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir Today 2:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one to the smell of smoke, night you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway. You lie down and scream, unable to accept your impending doom. That's when your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for your dear life as he takes you outside and places you on the grass. "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!" He bravely runs back inside, but alas, that's the last you ever see of him. You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in comparison to the heartbreak you felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young couple come in, they remind you much of your parents except they've already got a biological son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family as this may be your last chance at living a fulfilled childhood. When the time has come for them to formally tell the orphanage matron which child they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness Is I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Today 4:17 am Can I change my answer Be my guest Me so I never have to think about that again That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Sent Type a message GIF Why I hate Stuart Little.
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32
 You got two bullets. You're in
 a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby,
 Cardi B, a massive spider and
 Stuart Little. Who you shooting?
 Wednesday 11:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 Surely that's the only
 reasonable answer
 Wednesday 11:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer
 is to shoot Stuart twice butI
 admire your conviction.
 Today 1:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for
 that one pls sir
 Today 2:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother
 and father who love you very
 much. Your days are filled with
 fun and kindness as your loving
 parents try to nurture you in
 the most pleasant environment
 possible.
 One day you awaken one
 to the smell of smoke,
 night
 you open your eyes and begin
 to choke, you try to find your
 parents but you can't get past
 the toddler-proof gate in the
 doorway. You lie down and
 scream, unable to accept your
 impending doom. That's when
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for your
 dear life as he takes you outside
 and places you on the grass.
 "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!"
 He bravely runs back inside, but
 alas, that's the last you ever see
 of him.
 You escape the ordeal with
 minor scarring, but it's nothing
 in comparison to the heartbreak
 you felt that night. You have
 no grandparents, no aunties
 or uncles, no guardians
 whatsoever, and as a result, are
 forced to live in an orphanage
 Day, weeks, months, years go
 by, and as you watch all the
 other orphans leave with their
 new foster parents, you're
 hopes of having a happy life
 diminish more and more. One
 day a young couple come
 in, they remind you much of
 your parents except they've
 already got a biological son.
 But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make an impression on
 this family as this may be your
 last chance at living a fulfilled
 childhood. When the time has
 come for them to formally tell
 the orphanage matron which
 child they are going to adopt,
 you eagerly await your name
 to be announced. That's when
 they adopt A FUCKING RAT
 INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys
 your morale, you give up, you
 run away from the orphanage
 get raised by the streets as a
 petty pickpocket, you'll never
 remember what true happiness
 Is
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Today 4:17 am
 Can I change my answer
 Be my guest
 Me so I never have to think
 about that again
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
Why I hate Stuart Little.

Why I hate Stuart Little.

A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST SEX WITH YOU HAVE ORIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON m freshly shaved. Oljust got a Brazlian. O To keep warm. To stop fighting. To bond emotionally To feel closer to you. Because quickies are cool O My therapist suggested it To act out a fantasy Dljust lost ten pounds Because you feed me. Because I'm tke that To break in the new mattress Djust changed the sheets. Tomorrow's taundry day O To say goodbye. To say I'm sory. To say thank you OI ran out of batteries You complete me. I want to get back together 'm ovulating. OMy endorphins are firing. To forget about my ex. To help you forget your ex. Afternoon delight OI'm leaving the country. O got draftod #relationshipgoals Simon says Practice makes perfect. To carry on the family name Because wo both love cheese. Because 1 started doing yoga. I'm an artist. I'ma rocker. You care about grammar OI have good genes. You look good in jeans It's written in the stars. It's on my to-do list. O I'm tired of swiping left. m tired of swiping tight Oi won't find anything better. Ot'S winwin Oi have a headache. Ive heard it's fun. I'm tipsy aI'm bored OYou're hot You're smart You've got big hands. It would upset my mother. OSomeone dared me. DIcrave attention. DI had a good day. DI had a bad day, Im horny. 3 You smell nice Sin is in, Celibacy is out. O My roommate is out Dl just learned a new technique. DIneed to bum some calories. O You're funny. I'm stupid It'd be my pleasure. It'd be your pleasure. Because I love you It's raining. It's Wednesday Procrastination. DI haven't showered yet. DIjust showered. O I'm naked To celebrate. To boost my self-esteem. To boost my serotonin levels. Because you touch me like that). You're easy. I'm a professional. I've got a motorcycle. I'm about to be famous. You're famous. OI need to release tension. OI need the validation. DI need the dopamine rush To commune with God. To live ife to the fullest. Dl lovehate you. I love/hate myself. OI hate everybody but you. It's been a while. It'l make me popular. Iwant to make a baby. My regular lover is out of town. It's my New Year's resolution, To change the subject. To even the score. As a personal favor. Revirginization isn't working out O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!" You give me butterfies OHabit Because you're the real deal Because I lack self-control. Because you carried me home. I'm on the rebound Bow-chicka-wowwow. a Sol can stop crying. Because I lost my orgasm. Because I'm uniquely flexible. It's the end of the world. The power is out. aYou have tons of tollowers. OI'm finally singlo. We both lean left. We both lean right. To make me feel young To escape reality. O heard you were good. OI'm that good. Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo. To dust off the cobwebs To improve my rhythm. You got dumped. Oigot dumped. D ike your shoes. Oi can't sleep. Oi got a new job. To make bfe better You alreacy know why I'm avoiding antidepressants. For spirituai transcendence. 'Cause you're my babes, babe OI need some juicy gossip. I'm trying out for a pom. To expand my horizons. To take us to the next level. Im out of chocolate. We're stuck with each other Because I'm online. The happy pills aren't working. I'm tired of oral sex. I'm tired of being a virgin. Ol feel sorry for you. I'm addicted. You drive a nice car To feel whole. OI don't live here. You don't live here It's easier than facing our issues. You clean up real nice. You're a good dancer You're rich O I'm easy. OYour skin is soft O Your hair is soft. Your package looks promising. D There's nothing on TV OThe kids are asleep. OMy parents are out. O My hand's getting tired. OThird base is getting old. The birds and the bees do it. DI have a medical condition To manage stress. Because 1 did the dishes My vocal cords need exercise. The sock is on the doorknob. It's my birthday. It's your birthday. It's someone's birthday. OYou're sexy AF Because our therapist said so DI have excellent stamina Ojust finished the Kama Sutra. You look like you need it. You're a good human. Ive been Kegeling. DI have ten minutes to kill OWe're here and we're queer To break in my new car. O My blowup doll sprung a leak. I'm polyamorous. aI had a dream about you. OMeditation makes me homy. Dljust popped a Viagra. Our bodies fit. To scratch my itch. To increase my resistance. Oike your you-know-what. You've got a big...brain. OWe're human. Why not? WITH SUGAR ON TOP PRETTY PLEASE PLEASE IWON'T BEG YEAR DAY MONTH SIGNATURE "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD? awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist
A Dream, Af, and Bad: WHY I MUST
 SEX WITH YOU
 HAVE
 ORIGHT NOW
 ALL THE TIME
 TONIGHT VERY VERY SOON
 m freshly shaved.
 Oljust got a Brazlian.
 O To keep warm.
 To stop fighting.
 To bond emotionally
 To feel closer to you.
 Because quickies are cool
 O My therapist suggested it
 To act out a fantasy
 Dljust lost ten pounds
 Because you feed me.
 Because I'm tke that
 To break in the new mattress
 Djust changed the sheets.
 Tomorrow's taundry day
 O To say goodbye.
 To say I'm sory.
 To say thank you
 OI ran out of batteries
 You complete me.
 I want to get back together
 'm ovulating.
 OMy endorphins are firing.
 To forget about my ex.
 To help you forget your ex.
 Afternoon delight
 OI'm leaving the country.
 O got draftod
 #relationshipgoals
 Simon says
 Practice makes perfect.
 To carry on the family name
 Because wo both love cheese.
 Because 1 started doing yoga.
 I'm an artist.
 I'ma rocker.
 You care about grammar
 OI have good genes.
 You look good in jeans
 It's written in the stars.
 It's on my to-do list.
 O I'm tired of swiping left.
 m tired of swiping tight
 Oi won't find anything better.
 Ot'S winwin
 Oi have a headache.
 Ive heard it's fun.
 I'm tipsy
 aI'm bored
 OYou're hot
 You're smart
 You've got big hands.
 It would upset my mother.
 OSomeone dared me.
 DIcrave attention.
 DI had a good day.
 DI had a bad day,
 Im horny.
 3 You smell nice
 Sin is in,
 Celibacy is out.
 O My roommate is out
 Dl just learned a new technique.
 DIneed to bum some calories.
 O You're funny.
 I'm stupid
 It'd be my pleasure.
 It'd be your pleasure.
 Because I love you
 It's raining.
 It's Wednesday
 Procrastination.
 DI haven't showered yet.
 DIjust showered.
 O I'm naked
 To celebrate.
 To boost my self-esteem.
 To boost my serotonin levels.
 Because you touch me like that). You're easy.
 I'm a professional.
 I've got a motorcycle.
 I'm about to be famous.
 You're famous.
 OI need to release tension.
 OI need the validation.
 DI need the dopamine rush
 To commune with God.
 To live ife to the fullest.
 Dl lovehate you.
 I love/hate myself.
 OI hate everybody but you.
 It's been a while.
 It'l make me popular.
 Iwant to make a baby.
 My regular lover is out of town.
 It's my New Year's resolution,
 To change the subject.
 To even the score.
 As a personal favor.
 Revirginization isn't working out
 O1ke screaming "Oh yeah, baby!"
 You give me butterfies
 OHabit
 Because you're the real deal
 Because I lack self-control.
 Because you carried me home.
 I'm on the rebound
 Bow-chicka-wowwow.
 a Sol can stop crying.
 Because I lost my orgasm.
 Because I'm uniquely flexible.
 It's the end of the world.
 The power is out.
 aYou have tons of tollowers.
 OI'm finally singlo.
 We both lean left.
 We both lean right.
 To make me feel young
 To escape reality.
 O heard you were good.
 OI'm that good.
 Because I love wearing condoms. You're fnally singlo.
 To dust off the cobwebs
 To improve my rhythm.
 You got dumped.
 Oigot dumped.
 D ike your shoes.
 Oi can't sleep.
 Oi got a new job.
 To make bfe better
 You alreacy know why
 I'm avoiding antidepressants.
 For spirituai transcendence.
 'Cause you're my babes, babe
 OI need some juicy gossip.
 I'm trying out for a pom.
 To expand my horizons.
 To take us to the next level.
 Im out of chocolate.
 We're stuck with each other
 Because I'm online.
 The happy pills aren't working.
 I'm tired of oral sex.
 I'm tired of being a virgin.
 Ol feel sorry for you.
 I'm addicted.
 You drive a nice car
 To feel whole.
 OI don't live here.
 You don't live here
 It's easier than facing our issues.
 You clean up real nice.
 You're a good dancer
 You're rich
 O I'm easy.
 OYour skin is soft
 O Your hair is soft.
 Your package looks promising.
 D There's nothing on TV
 OThe kids are asleep.
 OMy parents are out.
 O My hand's getting tired.
 OThird base is getting old.
 The birds and the bees do it.
 DI have a medical condition
 To manage stress.
 Because 1 did the dishes
 My vocal cords need exercise.
 The sock is on the doorknob.
 It's my birthday.
 It's your birthday.
 It's someone's birthday.
 OYou're sexy AF
 Because our therapist said so
 DI have excellent stamina
 Ojust finished the Kama Sutra.
 You look like you need it.
 You're a good human.
 Ive been Kegeling.
 DI have ten minutes to kill
 OWe're here and we're queer
 To break in my new car.
 O My blowup doll sprung a leak.
 I'm polyamorous.
 aI had a dream about you.
 OMeditation makes me homy.
 Dljust popped a Viagra.
 Our bodies fit.
 To scratch my itch.
 To increase my resistance.
 Oike your you-know-what.
 You've got a big...brain.
 OWe're human.
 Why not?
 WITH SUGAR ON TOP
 PRETTY PLEASE
 PLEASE
 IWON'T BEG
 YEAR
 DAY
 MONTH
 SIGNATURE
 "WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?
awesomage:

Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist

awesomage: Why I Must Have Sex With You Checklist