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If You

If You

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Are

Are

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Without

Without

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Your

Your

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Need A Break

Need A Break

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From

From

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The

The

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That

That

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All You

All You

🔥 | Latest

You Need: You need high knowledge of meme to understand this
You Need: You need high knowledge of meme to understand this

You need high knowledge of meme to understand this

You Need: lemonsgivelife: debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: claydart: starlitskyes: frosttrix: extremedistressorstellarblowjob: queen-of-heck: brightoncemore: todayiwrotenothing: gay-jesus-probably: solongstarbird: akamine-chan: phantomofthebookstore: dragonastra: jasperzilla: moose-shampoo: if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.  You missed some of the best ones the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean. But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean. How could you forget this one though I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR. someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do? Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for. So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it. Art world is not thrilled with that. Enter Stuart Semple. Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something. Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything. Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink” Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments. Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy. He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide. Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0. So I think we can guess who got the better deal. And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated. …But not quite. Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer. No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi. The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more. Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own. So that’s been the art world for the last two years. Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack. Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday. Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.” ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT! I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page: Two things: 1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post. 2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person. Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor. An older project, but he also did this: (x) oh dude hes metal as fuck  Every addition to this post is better than the last. Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again? Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it. Me: Me: :) Be a Stuart Semple in 2020. Use your petty to inspire and drive you.
You Need: lemonsgivelife:
debthestoner:

rrdcooc:

addakax:

mysticalalleycat:

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theresagooseinthemainframe:

0-memento-mori-0:

justaplate:

claydart:

starlitskyes:

frosttrix:

extremedistressorstellarblowjob:

queen-of-heck:


brightoncemore:

todayiwrotenothing:

gay-jesus-probably:

solongstarbird:

akamine-chan:

phantomofthebookstore:

dragonastra:

jasperzilla:

moose-shampoo:
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones 

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.


How could you forget this one though


I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.


Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”


ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!


I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life 

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:
1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple


I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor


He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god 


It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.


An older project, but he also did this:
(x)

oh dude hes metal as fuck 

Every addition to this post is better than the last.


Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again?
Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it.
Me:
Me: :)



Be a Stuart Semple in 2020. Use your petty to inspire and drive you.

lemonsgivelife: debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0:...

You Need: if you need something to make you warm and also laugh
You Need: if you need something to make you warm and also laugh

if you need something to make you warm and also laugh

You Need: if you need something to make you warm and also laugh
You Need: if you need something to make you warm and also laugh

if you need something to make you warm and also laugh

You Need: electric bulb @valarrrrrrry I've remembered one of my neighbors has ever asked me why I lock my door when I'm inside the house and I asked him how he knows that and he told me with a straight face that he has tried to open it some nights to 'greet me'. 16:19 04/09/2019 Twitter for Android 1,720 Retweets 2,524 Likes morgrimmoon: letsmcflytobritain: deminat-20: smiling-grouch: ocean-again: loueejii: facelesssavior: twitblr: Dormant Predators This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they can’t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20. reblog for that last bit to save a life If you’re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. It’s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. It’s so simple but the door does not move. You can’t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I can’t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs! That’s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, I’ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didn’t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when I’m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here. Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and you’re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?   Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, it’s one of the reasons they have axes; it’s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters don’t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake.
You Need: electric bulb
 @valarrrrrrry
 I've remembered one of my neighbors
 has ever asked me why I lock my door
 when I'm inside the house and I asked
 him how he knows that and he told
 me with a straight face that he has
 tried to open it some nights to 'greet
 me'.
 16:19 04/09/2019 Twitter for Android
 1,720 Retweets 2,524 Likes
morgrimmoon:

letsmcflytobritain:

deminat-20:

smiling-grouch:


ocean-again:

loueejii:

facelesssavior:

twitblr:

Dormant Predators



This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they can’t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20. 

reblog for that last bit to save a life


If you’re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. It’s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. It’s so simple but the door does not move. 
You can’t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I can’t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs!




That’s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, I’ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didn’t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when I’m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here.

Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and you’re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?  

Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, it’s one of the reasons they have axes; it’s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters don’t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake.

morgrimmoon: letsmcflytobritain: deminat-20: smiling-grouch: ocean-again: loueejii: facelesssavior: twitblr: Dormant Predators...

You Need: Facts that can save your life. If you vomit and it looks like coffee grounds, you need to get to a hospital. You're bleeding somew The partially digested blood comes up looking like coffee grounds. here and it's reaching your stomach If you ever almost drown to the point of throwing up water or passing out, even if you feel 100% fine, get to a hospital. Your lungs can unwittingly self-fill up with fluid over the next few hours. When having a heart attack, you don't swallow asprin, you chew it. Then swallow. If you're ever somewhere really high (e.g hiking) and you hear crunchy/crinkling noises in the air and/or feel static electricity (like your hair standing up) . get out of there immediately, lightning is on it's way If you're at the beach and the ocean suddenly recedes, get to high ground. ASAP Rohypnol, the date rape drug, has a salty taste to it. Utrafacts.umblr.com mizukiinozomii: spsyched: ladyofthegeneral: bonnieblue85: keeping-up-with-the-jenners: just-the-way-youre-not: ultrafacts: Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts THIS IS SO IMPORTANT Reblogging because I care about you guys Important Rohypnol has an INCREDIBLY salty taste to it. It’s disgusting. And it also isn’t a drug that acts immediately! The minute you notice the salty taste, you have about 5-10 minutes to get somewhere safe or call an ambulance, and it CAN be fought if you’re aware of it. It will make you woozy, it will make you so dizzy you can’t stand upright, it will certainly make you unable to walk properly, but if you struggle to remain conscious you can get about 20 extra minutes of consciousness from the drug before it will knock you out completely. If you’re in a public place, and the person who drugged you is trying to take you somewhere private, start. a. fight. Insist as LOUDLY and as VIOLENTLY as you can that you refuse to go anywhere with them. Odds are they’re trying to make as little of a scene as possible as they drag you away, and if you’re putting up a fight and very clearly ‘drunk’, eyes will turn on them and they’ll either need to let you go, or cause a serious scene, which they don’t want. Don’t just act like you’re just protesting being taken home, though. Fight like your life depends on it even if they aren’t assaulting you. Cause. A. Scene. That’s the last thing they want.  Everyone should reblog this! Very useful.
You Need: Facts that can save your life.
 If you vomit and it looks like coffee grounds,
 you need to get to a hospital. You're bleeding
 somew
 The partially digested blood comes up looking
 like coffee grounds.
 here and it's reaching your stomach
 If you ever almost drown to the point of
 throwing up water or passing out, even if you
 feel 100% fine, get to a hospital. Your lungs
 can unwittingly self-fill up with fluid over the
 next few hours.
 When having a heart attack, you don't
 swallow asprin, you chew it. Then swallow.
 If you're ever somewhere really high (e.g
 hiking) and you hear crunchy/crinkling noises
 in the air and/or feel static electricity (like
 your hair standing up) . get out of there
 immediately, lightning is on it's way
 If you're at the beach and the ocean suddenly
 recedes, get to high ground. ASAP
 Rohypnol, the date rape drug, has a salty
 taste to it.
 Utrafacts.umblr.com
mizukiinozomii:

spsyched:

ladyofthegeneral:

bonnieblue85:

keeping-up-with-the-jenners:

just-the-way-youre-not:

ultrafacts:

Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

Reblogging because I care about you guys

Important

Rohypnol has an INCREDIBLY salty taste to it. It’s disgusting. And it also isn’t a drug that acts immediately! The minute you notice the salty taste, you have about 5-10 minutes to get somewhere safe or call an ambulance, and it CAN be fought if you’re aware of it. It will make you woozy, it will make you so dizzy you can’t stand upright, it will certainly make you unable to walk properly, but if you struggle to remain conscious you can get about 20 extra minutes of consciousness from the drug before it will knock you out completely. If you’re in a public place, and the person who drugged you is trying to take you somewhere private, start. a. fight. Insist as LOUDLY and as VIOLENTLY as you can that you refuse to go anywhere with them. Odds are they’re 

 trying to make as little of a scene as possible as they drag you away, and if you’re putting up a fight and very clearly ‘drunk’, eyes will turn on them and they’ll either need to let you go, or cause a serious scene, which they don’t want. Don’t just act like you’re just protesting being taken home, though. Fight like your life depends on it even if they aren’t assaulting you. Cause. A. Scene. That’s the last thing they want. 

Everyone should reblog this!


Very useful.

mizukiinozomii: spsyched: ladyofthegeneral: bonnieblue85: keeping-up-with-the-jenners: just-the-way-youre-not: ultrafacts: Source:...

You Need: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality or Preparing for the End or Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm Stuck Dealing With This Mess ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS. Featuring Helpful Sections such as: Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone What the Everloving Fuck is Probate Some Simple Dos and Don’ts Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials How to plan a non-religious death party So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death. I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together. Good luck! (in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit) @ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission. YES, please share it! And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died. You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK. I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate. But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap. This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.
You Need: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. 
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.

ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of b...

You Need: Just in case you need to hear it
You Need: Just in case you need to hear it

Just in case you need to hear it

You Need: From the point of view of a... Windows OS X Linux A problem has been detected and windows has bi to your computer. The problem seems to be caused by the followi PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA Mac If this is the first time you've seen this sti restart your computer. If this screen appears these steps: Check to make sure any new hardware or softwai If this is a new installation, ask your hardw. for any windows updates you might need. fan If problems continue, disable or remove any n or software. Disable BIOS memory options such If you need to use safe Mode to remove or dis. your computer, press F8 to select Advanced st select Safe Mode. Technical information: se** STOP: 0x00000050 (0XFD3094C2, Ox00000001,0: 1 tall -f vartog/yslog ccre A -laptop diciienti DHOPOFER fron. 16.199.3 Nr-laptop aclient: DHCPSEOLEST on ath. to ss.555.55 port 67 r-laptap oheiient: DHOPRCK roa 66.19.3 r-taptop avai-danon5S ring adaress record tor 1.168.199.166 on ethi. -Tatap aahs-daesan5594) Leaving ulticast roup on inter face eth.1Prd vith J66. N-late avani-danon Interface ethi. IPd no longer relevant for S. MTAnte i-daon55M Jaining e ticast groe on interface etht.1Pr4 vit 9. 167 irlaptap avahi-daeson 4) Hev relevant interface stnd. Pv4 for ales. hir-taptap avahi-donnon : egistering nev address record for 1.18.1s. 187 on et AB DLITAL Win Naptop chetient: bound to J2. 168.1. 167- reneval in 14684 seconds. ir-taptop r-aptap sermel: t 254. 1w printk: 2 nessages suroresged. Tasks 174 total, Iruning Load average ut16/5 fan VIRE ES 0.2962 SERSOUR TER IECond 1532 $ 0.0 0.4 8.01.97 /in/init 412 0.0 O.i .00.00 O 6060 3412 124S 0.0 0.7 8:00.13 O L1760 SOs2 s00 s 0.0 1.I e:00.24 e 1752 - bash nutt pinin eunvt urort bash tinch *- tinch bin/sh unvt -urnt 476 412 S 0.0 0.1 0:00.00 O 900 336 144S 0.0 0.7 9:00.22 0 29664 18372 68S 0.0 2.0 412 S 0.0 0.i 0:00.00 O LLO6 154 4172 5 0.0 1.3 8:00.22 in - bash ৯ Linux Microsoft fan YOU Real programmer use Linux
You Need: From the point
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You Need: Sophia Benoit @1followernodad ok here's the deal. Yes it was dumb of NASA to ask Sally Ride if she needed 100 tampons for a 7-day mission, but I would have said "Actually I need 250" because that's free tampons from the government, babbbbyyy. 10:22 PM Aug 16, 2019 Twitter Web App appropriately-inappropriate: you-cannot-shut-me-up: talvin-muircastle: signoraviolettavalery: haunted-meat: dennator25: So this seems dumb…and it is…but it’s dumb with a purpose. I can almost guarantee you the exact line of reasoning that gets NASA engineers to 100. Ok, first of all assume the worst and assume she needs the max amount of tampons possible for all days. Now lets count it up. 7 days? Better be safe and make it 10. 3 tampons a day at worst? Better be safe and make it 5. So that gives us 50 tampons. Ok. Double it. And that’s how you get 100. It’s ridiculous, but NASA has a culture of “overengineer absolutely everything to do with human safety, and then design around it” which is actually pretty cool. Listen, I know this gets made fun of so much, but likeI am a woman who has periods and I have absolutely no idea how many tampons a woman requires in a week. I use primarily pads. But these men, at the least, ASKED her instead of making unfounded assumptions. Which would you rather be: A. The NASA Director Who Sent Too Many? B. The NASA Director Who Didn’t Send Enough? Fair point. It’ not like she could’ve popped over to the corner drugstore to buy more! Not to mention — space is a hostile environment with multiple dangers, so having multiple redundancies is a bonus. Tampons, being ultra-absorbent, reasonably clean, and conveniently sized, can be used to staunch nosebleeds, or could be used to block a leak in a pipe. You never know what you’ll need until you need it, and weirder shit has saved lives at NASA.
You Need: Sophia Benoit
 @1followernodad
 ok here's the deal. Yes it was dumb of NASA to ask Sally
 Ride if she needed 100 tampons for a 7-day mission,
 but I would have said "Actually I need 250" because
 that's free tampons from the government, babbbbyyy.
 10:22 PM Aug 16, 2019 Twitter Web App
appropriately-inappropriate:

you-cannot-shut-me-up:


talvin-muircastle:

signoraviolettavalery:

haunted-meat:

dennator25:

So this seems dumb…and it is…but it’s dumb with a purpose. I can almost guarantee you the exact line of reasoning that gets NASA engineers to 100.
Ok, first of all assume the worst and assume she needs the max amount of tampons possible for all days. Now lets count it up.
7 days? Better be safe and make it 10.
3 tampons a day at worst? Better be safe and make it 5.
So that gives us 50 tampons. Ok. Double it.
And that’s how you get 100.
It’s ridiculous, but NASA has a culture of “overengineer absolutely everything to do with human safety, and then design around it” which is actually pretty cool.

Listen, I know this gets made fun of so much, but likeI am a woman who has periods and I have absolutely no idea how many tampons a woman requires in a week. I use primarily pads. But these men, at the least, ASKED her instead of making unfounded assumptions. 

Which would you rather be:
A. The NASA Director Who Sent Too Many?
B. The NASA Director Who Didn’t Send Enough?

Fair point. It’ not like she could’ve popped over to the corner drugstore to buy more!



Not to mention — space is a hostile environment with multiple dangers, so having multiple redundancies is a bonus. 
Tampons, being ultra-absorbent, reasonably clean, and conveniently sized, can be used to staunch nosebleeds, or could be used to block a leak in a pipe. 
You never know what you’ll need until you need it, and weirder shit has saved lives at NASA.

appropriately-inappropriate: you-cannot-shut-me-up: talvin-muircastle: signoraviolettavalery: haunted-meat: dennator25: So this se...

You Need: Trevor 12 hrs I have to admit, when Greta Thunberg began gaining popularity for her activism earlier this year, I didn't pay it much mind and just assumed it was another person complaining about global climate change without proposing and/or engaging in tangible, real world solutions. So, when I saw that she won TIME magazine's person of the year, I figured she has made great strides in combating climate change, and therefore I should probably take notice and take a look into how she is doing it and what she has proposed. Thankfully, I didn't have to look far since many people were posting her greatest hits here on FB. I admit, she appears quite passionate and she makes compelling points that something needs to be done to reverse climate change, all while being critical of everyone that says something needs to be done, but without proposing real world, tangible solutions that can broadly be applied to society. So, I keep watching and waiting for these solutions. As the videos draw to an end, I am yet to see anything of substance. Am I missing the part two of these? What is unique about her brand of activism? Is it just the accent? I am seriously interested in what reaction and results her activism has yielded. Can someone please explain it to me? I do have some issues with her "undeniable facts" and climate change activists, I will do my best to follow-up in the comments and/or other posts. Ben Grelle Yes, why isn't the 16-year old solving this crisis? What the hell, dude? Greta submitted the IPCC report as her testimony before Congress. That is what she bases her science on (as well as 99% of climate scientists) and that is where she asks people to go to look for the data and some of the solutions. (We won't have all the solutions as much of the research and emerging tech isn't well funded yet.) I don't think it is her responsibility to solve this. She is asking politicians to take this seriously. And she is inspiring a new generation to not be apathetic on this topic. That is what her activism is based on. And I think that is plenty. If you really want to look at the "real world" solutions, you can read the same report she did. There are 3 parts. The "summaries for policymakers" are the easiest to understand and a good place to start. You may need to download some PDFS. https://www.ipcc.ch/sr15/ https://www.ipcc.ch/report/srccl/ https://www.ipcc.ch/srocc/home/ sirfrogsworth: Apparently, you can’t be a climate activist unless you know how to literally solve climate change.  Some other gems in the comments… “She’s basically Hitler!” “Why isn’t she a seasoned public speaker who can give spontaneous answers to one of the world’s most complicated issues?” “She’s just a propagandist for all of those greedy climate scientists who make an average of $35-50K per year!”  And, my favorite… “Why doesn’t she time travel and sabotage Time Magazine’s printing press?” Being an advocate for the world not ending is exhausting.  But if even one of them reads even the summaries, I will be happy.  Here are the links to the report for anyone interested. They actually improved the website quite a bit from the last time I visited. I don’t even think you need to download PDFs for most of the information. PROGRESS! https://www.ipcc.ch/sr15/https://www.ipcc.ch/report/srccl/https://www.ipcc.ch/srocc/home/
You Need: Trevor
 12 hrs
 I have to admit, when Greta Thunberg began gaining popularity for her
 activism earlier this year, I didn't pay it much mind and just assumed it
 was another person complaining about global climate change without
 proposing and/or engaging in tangible, real world solutions. So, when I
 saw that she won TIME magazine's person of the year, I figured she
 has made great strides in combating climate change, and therefore I
 should probably take notice and take a look into how she is doing it and
 what she has proposed. Thankfully, I didn't have to look far since many
 people were posting her greatest hits here on FB. I admit, she appears
 quite passionate and she makes compelling points that something
 needs to be done to reverse climate change, all while being critical of
 everyone that says something needs to be done, but without proposing
 real world, tangible solutions that can broadly be applied to society. So,
 I keep watching and waiting for these solutions. As the videos draw to
 an end, I am yet to see anything of substance. Am I missing the part
 two of these? What is unique about her brand of activism? Is it just the
 accent? I am seriously interested in what reaction and results her
 activism has yielded. Can someone please explain it to me? I do have
 some issues with her "undeniable facts" and climate change activists, I
 will do my best to follow-up in the comments and/or other posts.

 Ben Grelle Yes, why isn't the 16-year old solving this
 crisis? What the hell, dude?
 Greta submitted the IPCC report as her testimony before
 Congress. That is what she bases her science on (as well
 as 99% of climate scientists) and that is where she asks
 people to go to look for the data and some of the
 solutions. (We won't have all the solutions as much of the
 research and emerging tech isn't well funded yet.)
 I don't think it is her responsibility to solve this. She is
 asking politicians to take this seriously. And she is
 inspiring a new generation to not be apathetic on this
 topic. That is what her activism is based on. And I think
 that is plenty.
 If you really want to look at the "real world" solutions, you
 can read the same report she did.
 There are 3 parts. The "summaries for policymakers" are
 the easiest to understand and a good place to start. You
 may need to download some PDFS.
 https://www.ipcc.ch/sr15/
 https://www.ipcc.ch/report/srccl/
 https://www.ipcc.ch/srocc/home/
sirfrogsworth:
Apparently, you can’t be a climate activist unless you know how to literally solve climate change. 
Some other gems in the comments…
“She’s basically Hitler!”
“Why isn’t she a seasoned public speaker who can give spontaneous answers to one of the world’s most complicated issues?”
“She’s just a propagandist for all of those greedy climate scientists who make an average of $35-50K per year!” 
And, my favorite…
“Why doesn’t she time travel and sabotage Time Magazine’s printing press?”
Being an advocate for the world not ending is exhausting. 
But if even one of them reads even the summaries, I will be happy. 
Here are the links to the report for anyone interested. They actually improved the website quite a bit from the last time I visited. I don’t even think you need to download PDFs for most of the information. PROGRESS!
https://www.ipcc.ch/sr15/https://www.ipcc.ch/report/srccl/https://www.ipcc.ch/srocc/home/

sirfrogsworth: Apparently, you can’t be a climate activist unless you know how to literally solve climate change.  Some other gems in the...