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🔥 | Latest

Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18 02:56 ....ll Thread James Dator @James.. 17 May In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu Reeves story 615 ti 19.2K 54.3K James Dator @James.. 17 May Keanu came to the movie theater I worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was working on the Matrix series at the time. It's a quiet, Wednesday morning almost nobody is seeing movies. 6 C t524 8,415 James Dator @James.. 17 May I'm working the box office, bored as hell and suddenly this dude walks up in jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize it's Keanu Reeves 7 1450 8,840 James Dator @James 17 Mayv He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell," the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking star struck I do what any sensible 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to give him my employee discount. This means he needs to sign my sheet and therefore I have his autograph 5 8,595 t439 James Dator @James. 17 May "I don't work here," Keanu says. Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm flustered and just charge him the normal price. Kicking myself after for not getting his autograph 9 8,300 t 410 James Dator @James.. 17 May 2 minutes later there's a knock on the door behind me that leads into the box office. I assume it's my manager. It's Keanu. 94 t 409 8,297 17 May "I realized you probably wanted my autograph," he says. "So I signed this." He hands me a receipt from the concessions stand that he signed on the back. He then casually throws an ice James Dator @James... cream cone in the trash can and sees his movie 26 t 639 13.8K James Dator @James Dator realize later that he bought an ice cream cone he didn't want, just to get receipt paper so he could scribble his autograph for a 16-year-old idiot. 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes awesomacious: Sweet Keanu
Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18
 02:56 ....ll
 Thread
 James Dator @James.. 17 May
 In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu
 Reeves story
 615
 ti 19.2K 54.3K
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 Keanu came to the movie theater I
 worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was
 working on the Matrix series at the time.
 It's a quiet, Wednesday morning
 almost nobody is seeing movies.
 6 C
 t524
 8,415
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 I'm working the box office, bored as hell
 and suddenly this dude walks up in
 jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding
 helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian
 looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30
 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize
 it's Keanu Reeves
 7
 1450
 8,840
 James Dator @James 17 Mayv
 He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell,"
 the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking
 star struck I do what any sensible
 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to
 give him my employee discount. This
 means he needs to sign my sheet and
 therefore I have his autograph
 5
 8,595
 t439
 James Dator @James. 17 May
 "I don't work here," Keanu says.
 Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm
 flustered and just charge him the normal
 price. Kicking myself after for not getting
 his autograph
 9
 8,300
 t 410
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 2 minutes later there's a knock on the
 door behind me that leads into the box
 office. I assume it's my manager. It's
 Keanu.
 94
 t 409
 8,297
 17 May
 "I realized you probably wanted my
 autograph," he says. "So I signed this."
 He hands me a receipt from the
 concessions stand that he signed on the
 back. He then casually throws an ice
 James Dator
 @James...
 cream cone in the trash can and sees his
 movie
 26
 t 639
 13.8K
 James Dator
 @James Dator
 realize later that he bought an
 ice cream cone he didn't want,
 just to get receipt paper so he
 could scribble his autograph for a
 16-year-old idiot.
 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone
 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes
awesomacious:

Sweet Keanu

awesomacious: Sweet Keanu

Tumblr, Blog, and Time: epicjohndoe: Most Wonderful Time Of The Year
Tumblr, Blog, and Time: epicjohndoe:

Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

epicjohndoe: Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Iphone, Twitter, and Magic: adam ferrone @_rone Thoughts? PROPOSED NEW STANDARD YEAR 13 EQUAL SIZED MONTHS (28 days x 13 months 364, +1 365) THE FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH IS ALWAYS A SUNDAY THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH IS ALWAYS A SATURDAY Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 5 2 3 4 3 4 5 6 2 3 6 1 1 4 11 12 8 9 10 11 12 14 8 9 10 13 14 10 11 12 13 14 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 18 21 19 15 16 15 16 21 17 16 17 18 20 18 20 22 23 22 23 24 25 24 27 22 23 24 25 27 28 THE ONE DAY LEFT OVER IS Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat NYD NEW YEARS DAY. 1 2 3 4 3 4 6 8 9 10 11 11 10 1 12 13 IT ISN'T A WEEKDAY OR WEEKEND, IT'S MAGIC, AND ON LEAP YEARS 15 16 18 19 20 21 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 25 23 24 25 24 27 IT'S A DOUBLE VACATION DAY. THE REST IS EASY. IF SOMEONE SAYS, "LL SEE YOU ON THE 19TH," YOU Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 2 3 6 2 3 6 7 2 3 4 5 6 4 1 KNOW IT'S ON A THURSDAY 8 11 15 16 17 18 20 21 17 18 19 20 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MONTH, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER WHAT YEAR, 22 23 24 25 27 28 25 27 IT'S GOING TO BE ON A THURSDAY. Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat. Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 2 2 3 5 6 7 1 4 4 CALCULATING IS EASY, PLANNING IS EASY, AND PAYCHECKS COME WHEN YOU EXPECT THEM. 8 9 10 1 12 8 10 12 13 14 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 17 18 16 17 18 19 20 21 26 22 23 24 25 28 24 25 26 27 28 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 1:09 PM 18 Aug 19 Twitter for iPhone Likes 617 Retweets This is developer abuse
Iphone, Twitter, and Magic: adam ferrone
 @_rone
 Thoughts?
 PROPOSED NEW STANDARD YEAR
 13 EQUAL SIZED MONTHS
 (28 days x 13 months 364, +1 365)
 THE FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH IS ALWAYS A SUNDAY
 THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH IS ALWAYS A SATURDAY
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu
 Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 5
 2
 3
 4
 3
 4
 5
 6
 2
 3
 6
 1
 1
 4
 11 12
 8
 9
 10
 11
 12
 14
 8
 9
 10
 13
 14
 10
 11
 12 13
 14
 8
 9
 10
 11
 12
 13
 14
 18
 21
 19
 15
 16
 15
 16
 21
 17
 16 17
 18
 20
 18
 20
 22 23
 22
 23
 24
 25
 24
 27
 22
 23 24
 25
 27 28
 THE ONE DAY LEFT OVER IS
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 NYD
 NEW YEARS DAY.
 1
 2
 3
 4
 3
 4
 6
 8
 9
 10 11
 11
 10
 1
 12 13
 IT ISN'T A WEEKDAY OR WEEKEND,
 IT'S MAGIC, AND ON LEAP YEARS
 15
 16
 18
 19
 20 21
 15
 16
 17
 18
 19
 20
 21
 15
 16
 17
 18 19 20 21
 22
 25
 23
 24
 25
 24
 27
 IT'S A DOUBLE VACATION DAY.
 THE REST IS EASY. IF SOMEONE SAYS,
 "LL SEE YOU ON THE 19TH," YOU
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 2
 3
 6
 2
 3
 6
 7
 2
 3
 4
 5
 6
 4
 1
 KNOW IT'S ON A THURSDAY
 8
 11
 15
 16
 17
 18
 20 21
 17
 18
 19 20
 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT MONTH,
 IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER WHAT YEAR,
 22
 23
 24
 25
 27 28
 25
 27
 IT'S GOING TO BE ON A THURSDAY.
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat.
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 2
 2
 3
 5 6
 7
 1
 4
 4
 CALCULATING IS EASY, PLANNING IS
 EASY, AND PAYCHECKS COME WHEN
 YOU EXPECT THEM.
 8
 9
 10
 1
 12
 8
 10
 12
 13
 14
 9
 10
 11
 12 13
 14
 15
 16
 17 18 19
 17
 18
 16 17
 18
 19 20 21
 26
 22
 23
 24 25
 28
 24
 25
 26
 27 28
 22
 23 24
 25
 26 27 28
 1:09 PM 18 Aug 19 Twitter for iPhone
 Likes
 617 Retweets
This is developer abuse

This is developer abuse