With
With

With

One Time
One Time

One Time

Topping
Topping

Topping

Ends
Ends

Ends

Starts
Starts

Starts

Part
Part

Part

Dieded
Dieded

Dieded

Brad
Brad

Brad

Buy
Buy

Buy

Cleric
Cleric

Cleric

🔥 | Latest

Ya Know: witchesversuspatriarchy: It’s the lil calming rituals ya know.
Ya Know: witchesversuspatriarchy:

It’s the lil calming rituals ya know.

witchesversuspatriarchy: It’s the lil calming rituals ya know.

Ya Know: witchesversuspatriarchy: It’s the lil calming rituals ya know.
Ya Know: witchesversuspatriarchy:

It’s the lil calming rituals ya know.

witchesversuspatriarchy: It’s the lil calming rituals ya know.

Ya Know: Ya know what… I think I’ll just stick with Aunt Jemima
Ya Know: Ya know what… I think I’ll just stick with Aunt Jemima

Ya know what… I think I’ll just stick with Aunt Jemima

Ya Know: Ya know what… I think I’ll just stick with Aunt Jemima
Ya Know: Ya know what… I think I’ll just stick with Aunt Jemima

Ya know what… I think I’ll just stick with Aunt Jemima

Ya Know: Today 19 AM Choose your own adventure: match on tinder, you choose to... A Ghost him, proving his fear of the paranormal to be well founded. B. Set up a date but never follow through and just kind of talik for 2: months C.Have a deep and meaningful conversation D. Do tinder things E. Explore the cave for clues Today 9.20 AM Ya know usually l'd pick B because that's how it tends to go most of time but I'm feelin GOOD and LUCKY today so i You explore the cave. You find a tarch and light it. It's raining outside. You then choose to A Leave the cave and walk outsi de. B. Delve deeper into the cave C Check to see what else is in the entrance I love to delve. B You delve deeper into the cave as the light dissapears behind you. You come across a fork in the cave an you A Go left towards the sound of water B. Go right towards a faint light Today 124 PM I'm feeling kinda perched, A You enter a cavem with a waterfall flowing into a crystal clear pool. You then.. A Get into the water B. Try to climb up the waterfall C Look around In the cavem D. Go beck Today 3 29 PM B Today 0 PM You go to the waterfall, grab a rock to climb but it's slippery and you fall into the weter.. A You swim to share B. Dive down and explore C Drown Teday 8.58 PM B! You talke a gulp of air and dive down You reach the bottom of the pool and see a lava tube that looks like it loads to a place to breath, a glittering sword and a treasure chest. You choose to.. A Go in the tube and explore some more B. Grab the sword C. Try to open the chest D. Ascend to the top of the pool Stitch It! You enter the tube and find a new cavern filed with air with a single sliver of moonlight cutting throigh the center of the cavern that connects to the outside. You . A Check out the discarded journal sitting besides the moonlight sliver B. Stand inside of the sliver C Attempt to figure aut if there is a code in the stalagtites on the ceiling Today 9:33 PM HAHAHA this is getting wild ummm A You open the joumal and can see nates scrawled all over but the darkest says beware the light. On the next page is a code number but you can't make it out in the low light A Throw somath ing into the maonlight and see what happens B. Grab the joumal and go back to the previous cavern C. Toss the joumal aside and look at those stalagtites D. Try to get your wet torch to light somehow C You study the stalagtites, they dont meen anything, what did you cxpect? You pick the journal back up and... See above A B. D Today 10 4 PM You grab a rock and throw it into the moonlight beam, it catches fire lighting up the carven before it disintegrates away. Having sean this you... A Throw all the rocks you can in the beam to watch the fireworkss B.Put the end of your torch in the maonlught beam C. Go back in the upper cavern B! You light the torch! You can now see cvarything cloarly. You now. A Take the journal back out and try) to read it again B. Look around the cavern to see if you missed anything C Stick your hand in the moon beam to see if it's hat Honestly...c You stick your hand in the moon beam... Surprise it's hot. Having learned that the fite setting thing is hot you then.. A Take the journal back out and try to read it again B. Look around the cavern to see if you missed anything C. Stick your hand in the moon beam again, and science Stitch It! НАНАН can I do C and then A Your hand burns more and you can't feel your fingers anymore considering the magic fire thing this makes sense and you record it for scientific rigor. You take the journal back out and read it under the Iight You read the code that was written in it and the code is. A Sabrina's number B. 1234567890 IM INTRUIGED NOW A!! You mamorize the number then dive back into the water and approch the chest at the bottom of the lake and put in a tencdigit code. That code is.. Welcome to tinder the newest text based RPG
Ya Know: Today 19 AM
 Choose your own adventure:
 match on tinder,
 you choose to...
 A Ghost him, proving his fear of the
 paranormal to be well founded.
 B. Set up a date but never follow
 through and just kind of talik for 2:
 months
 C.Have a deep and meaningful
 conversation
 D. Do tinder things
 E. Explore the cave for clues
 Today 9.20 AM
 Ya know usually l'd pick B because
 that's how it tends to go most of
 time but I'm feelin GOOD and
 LUCKY today so i
 You explore the cave. You find a
 tarch and light it. It's raining outside.
 You then choose to
 A Leave the cave and walk outsi de.
 B. Delve deeper into the cave
 C Check to see what else is in the
 entrance
 I love to delve. B
 You delve deeper into the cave as
 the light dissapears behind you. You
 come across a fork in the cave an
 you
 A Go left towards the sound of
 water
 B. Go right towards a faint light
 Today 124 PM
 I'm feeling kinda perched, A
 You enter a cavem with a waterfall
 flowing into a crystal clear pool. You
 then..
 A Get into the water
 B. Try to climb up the waterfall
 C Look around In the cavem
 D. Go beck
 Today 3 29 PM
 B
 Today 0 PM
 You go to the waterfall, grab a rock
 to climb but it's slippery and you fall
 into the weter..
 A You swim to share
 B. Dive down and explore
 C Drown
 Teday 8.58 PM
 B!
 You talke a gulp of air and dive
 down You reach the bottom of the
 pool and see a lava tube that looks
 like it loads to a place to breath,
 a glittering sword and a treasure
 chest. You choose to..
 A Go in the tube and explore some
 more
 B. Grab the sword
 C. Try to open the chest
 D. Ascend to the top of the pool
 Stitch It!
 You enter the tube and find a new
 cavern filed with air with a single
 sliver of moonlight cutting throigh
 the center of the cavern that
 connects to the outside. You .
 A Check out the discarded journal
 sitting besides the moonlight sliver
 B. Stand inside of the sliver
 C Attempt to figure aut if there is a
 code in the stalagtites on the ceiling
 Today 9:33 PM
 HAHAHA this is getting wild ummm
 A
 You open the joumal and can see
 nates scrawled all over but the
 darkest says beware the light. On
 the next page is a code number but
 you can't make it out in the low light
 A Throw somath ing into the
 maonlight and see what happens
 B. Grab the joumal and go back to
 the previous cavern
 C. Toss the joumal aside and look at
 those stalagtites
 D. Try to get your wet torch to light
 somehow
 C
 You study the stalagtites, they
 dont meen anything, what did you
 cxpect? You pick the journal back
 up and...
 See above
 A
 B.
 D
 Today 10 4 PM
 You grab a rock and throw it into
 the moonlight beam, it catches fire
 lighting up the carven before it
 disintegrates away. Having sean this
 you...
 A Throw all the rocks you can in the
 beam to watch the fireworkss
 B.Put the end of your torch in the
 maonlught beam
 C. Go back in the upper cavern
 B!
 You light the torch! You can now see
 cvarything cloarly. You now.
 A Take the journal back out and try)
 to read it again
 B. Look around the cavern to see if
 you missed anything
 C Stick your hand in the moon
 beam to see if it's hat
 Honestly...c
 You stick your hand in the moon
 beam... Surprise it's hot. Having
 learned that the fite setting thing is
 hot you then..
 A Take the journal back out and try
 to read it again
 B. Look around the cavern to see if
 you missed anything
 C. Stick your hand in the moon
 beam again,
 and science
 Stitch It!
 НАНАН
 can I do C and then A
 Your hand burns more and you
 can't feel your fingers anymore
 considering the magic fire thing this
 makes sense and you record it for
 scientific rigor. You take the journal
 back out and read it under the Iight
 You read the code that was written
 in it and the code is.
 A Sabrina's number
 B. 1234567890
 IM INTRUIGED NOW A!!
 You mamorize the number then dive
 back into the water and approch the
 chest at the bottom of the lake and
 put in a tencdigit code. That code
 is..
Welcome to tinder the newest text based RPG

Welcome to tinder the newest text based RPG

Ya Know: Call FaceTime Add Contact Text Message I'm David. Your contact last month has "W O N'! Go to http://winyourxmas.com? FAJJHAKKFG and try - 6426 Wut? I don't know who this is? David? From like 2nd grade?! Dude I haven't talked to you in forever! Holy shit man! How have you been?! heard you got married to Karen. Dude, that's awesome. I'll admit it was a little weird for me when you two started dating given our history, but I'm so stoked for you. I mean, she was like my girlfriend for 9 years and we were engaged. Then you knowI lost my job because of my drinking problem.. And then lost our house because of my cocaine problem... And then there's the fact I started beating her senseless because I was lashing out and she was the always the closet thing around that made me feel better when I hit it... lol does she still walk with that limp after I pushed her down the stairs? God, memories man, ya know? Actually don't tell her I said that. She probably won't think it's funny. She doesn't really talk to me anymore. How did her reconstructive jaw surgery go? At least is made her fat ass skinny because she had to eat through a straw right?! lolll you owe me a beer for that one dude. I still have a lot of her stuff actually. She got that restraining order against me so I didn't know what to do with it so it's just in a box sitting in the middle of my barren living room. Sometimes when I pick up a bottle and skip out on my AA meetings I just sit here and stare at it. It's actually making me kinda sad right now. No one could burn a TV dinner or take a hit like her you know? Damn, I shouldn't have looked inside this box. All this stuff and memories. I want her back David. Dude, stop. Then don't text me this stupid contest shit asshole. OText Message Send QWERTYUIO P ASD F GH JKL ZX CVBNM 123 return space Me irl
Ya Know: Call
 FaceTime
 Add Contact
 Text Message
 I'm David. Your contact
 last month has "W O N'!
 Go to
 http://winyourxmas.com?
 FAJJHAKKFG and try -
 6426
 Wut?
 I don't know who this is?
 David? From like 2nd
 grade?!
 Dude I haven't talked to
 you in forever! Holy shit
 man!
 How have you been?!
 heard you got married to
 Karen. Dude, that's
 awesome.
 I'll admit it was a little
 weird for me when you
 two started dating given
 our history, but I'm so
 stoked for you.
 I mean, she was like my
 girlfriend for 9 years and
 we were engaged.
 Then you knowI lost my
 job because of my
 drinking problem..
 And then lost our house
 because of my cocaine
 problem...
 And then there's the fact I
 started beating her
 senseless because I was
 lashing out and she was
 the always the closet thing
 around that made me feel
 better when I hit it...
 lol does she still walk with
 that limp after I pushed her
 down the stairs?
 God, memories man, ya
 know?
 Actually don't tell her I
 said that. She probably
 won't think it's funny. She
 doesn't really talk to me
 anymore. How did her
 reconstructive jaw surgery
 go?
 At least is made her fat
 ass skinny because she
 had to eat through a straw
 right?! lolll you owe me a
 beer for that one dude.
 I still have a lot of her stuff
 actually.
 She got that restraining
 order against me so I
 didn't know what to do
 with it so it's just in a box
 sitting in the middle of my
 barren living room.
 Sometimes when I pick up
 a bottle and skip out on
 my AA meetings I just sit
 here and stare at it.
 It's actually making me
 kinda sad right now. No
 one could burn a TV
 dinner or take a hit like her
 you know?
 Damn, I shouldn't have
 looked inside this box. All
 this stuff and memories.
 I want her back David.
 Dude, stop.
 Then don't text me this
 stupid contest shit
 asshole.
 OText Message
 Send
 QWERTYUIO P
 ASD F GH JKL
 ZX CVBNM
 123
 return
 space
Me irl

Me irl

Ya Know: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Ya Know: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate...

Ya Know: Lol yeah YOU MATCHED WITH ON 9/20/19 I am her 8 year old son and I am look big for a date for her because I need a dad and when I read ur bio I was like "is this me from the future?" Hi this is not And how are you doing Lol feeling a bit ris ky as I am sitting next to he sleeping (my mom) and using tinder I feel like this is a kinda mission impossible thing ya know? cause I play a heck ton of video games too and I think you would be he perfect father. Addicted to video games already? My kinda fella I sure do but I don't think you should be using her phone and messaging random strangers at your age like that. Plenty of weirdos out there that you shouldn't be talking too. Lol yeah And how are you doing Well u are right but technically I'm not using her phone I'm using her ipad Lol feeling a bit risky as I am sitting next to he sleeping Ashley brown (my mom) and using tinder I feel like this is a kinda mission I'll take ur advice though impossible thing ya know? Might talk to my mom bout u in he morning but bye for now! I sure do but I don't think you should be using her phone and Sent massaaina random etranners at Send Send Type a message Type a message GIF GIF This is what happens when I let the kid use the iPad and then fall asleep 🤦‍♀️ Thanks, random Tinder dude, for not being an asshole. I think I’m too mortified to message him back
Ya Know: Lol yeah
 YOU MATCHED WITH
 ON 9/20/19
 I am her 8
 year old son and I am look big for
 a date for her because I need a
 dad and when I read ur bio I was
 like "is this me from the future?"
 Hi this is not
 And how are you doing
 Lol feeling a bit ris ky as I am
 sitting next to he sleeping
 (my mom) and using tinder
 I feel like this is a kinda mission
 impossible thing ya know?
 cause I play a heck ton of video
 games too and I think you would
 be he perfect father.
 Addicted to video games already?
 My kinda fella
 I sure do but I don't think you
 should be using her phone and
 messaging random strangers at
 your age like that. Plenty of
 weirdos out there that you
 shouldn't be talking too.
 Lol yeah
 And how are you doing
 Well u are right but technically I'm
 not using her phone I'm using
 her ipad
 Lol feeling a bit risky as I am
 sitting next to he sleeping Ashley
 brown (my mom) and using tinder
 I feel like this is a kinda mission
 I'll take ur advice though
 impossible thing ya know?
 Might talk to my mom bout u in he
 morning but bye for now!
 I sure do but I don't think you
 should be using her phone and
 Sent
 massaaina random etranners at
 Send
 Send
 Type a message
 Type a message
 GIF
 GIF
This is what happens when I let the kid use the iPad and then fall asleep 🤦‍♀️ Thanks, random Tinder dude, for not being an asshole. I think I’m too mortified to message him back

This is what happens when I let the kid use the iPad and then fall asleep 🤦‍♀️ Thanks, random Tinder dude, for not being an asshole. I th...

Ya Know: There is no such thing as an American dream n Europe we try to be civil and have empathy queeranarchism: queerautism: queeranarchism: love-geofffree: designatedheckingadult: queeranarchism: LOL NOPE Europe is racist as fuck. Europe has armed gaurds and high fences on its borders. Europe makes it illegal to rescue refugees at sea. Europe locks up refugee children. Europe has killer cops that shoot teenagers of color. Europe is full of fascist politicians nostalgically fantasizing about ethnic cleansing. Not a day goes by without attacks on Muslims. Fuck Europe. Can confirm. The problem with England (I can’t talk for the rest of Europe) is that our racism and our xenophobia and all our bigoted views manifest in a different way then America, and we use this to claim that it doesn’t exist, even when our country is built on it. We are taught that the British empire was a good thing, and pretty much no one here knows anything about colionisation and our role in most current world problems. But the amount of times that I’ve tried to talk about any issue within England and been shut down with the claim “well we’re not as bad as America”. That’s why the trump protests were so important. We are constantly looking to America to justify our own bigotry. We’ll call America out on their unjust wars, and ignore the fact our own army and government was supporting them. Listen, I like my country- I like that we have a rich history (not that I support it, but heck, everyone likes learning about the Roman Empire, doesn’t mean they think it’s a good thing), I like that we have countrysides and big diverse towns like London, I like that we love fish and chips and curry sauce, I love our old pubs and traditional pub food, I like that we have the NHS (though I dislike how it’s run), I like our sense of dry gallows humour, I like our film and tv industry, I love our history of theatre, I love our myths and legends. But god damn are we historically an awful country, and have we ever tried to make reparations? Our actions are still affecting other countries and ruining life. I don’t like the empire, I don’t like what the monarchy stands for, I don’t like our politicians that spew bigotry and hate, I don’t like our press which are like vultures, I don’t like the power the BBC has to cover-up actual sexual abuse and rape, I hate Katie Hopkins and that she has any platform to spew her hate, I hate Brexit and that it was founded on hate, I hate how we think our lives are more valuable than that of refuges or immigrants, I hate that we don’t think that we are directly or indirectly responsible for a lot of the refugees and asylum seekers that exist today, I hate that we have a system that is actively leading to the deaths of disabled people and that even when investigated by the UN and told to change because we were violating human rights we refused, I hate how we support America’s bigotry and then use their country as a shield when accused of our own bigotry. I hate that we, as a country, are incapable of accepting responsibility and making amends for our terrible actions. Incredibly well put. One of the tricky things is that every European country has their own fictional self image which it keeps repeating to convince itself it’s not a bigoted shithole. In the UK it’s very much focused on being better than the US, being civilized and polite and stylish, while.. ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. In the Netherlands it’s focused on being ‘tolerant’ and gay-friendly and having semi-legal weed, while.. ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing.  In Germany it’s focused on having ‘learned from the second world war’ and being ‘better now, while . . ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. And so on.. every European country considers itself either an underdog or a pioneer or a peak of civilization or small and quirky and of course they all consider themselves so much better than the US while doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing.  https://metro.co.uk/2016/10/27/man-severely-beaten-after-being-told-to-speak-f-english-speaks-out-6218523/ I still remember exactly how it felt to read about this man being brutally asssulted, HIT ON THE FACE WITH A PLANK OF WOOD, in London, a city I lived next to and visited all the time, simple because he was speaking my native language in public. I remember breaking down sobbing because of how many people in this country I love hate me so fucking much for being born somewhere else. IIRC, there was another similar incident on the underground this past April. So tell me more about the supposed lack of xenophobia and racism in Europe These sort of things are sometimes best articulated by people who did not grow up here and suddenly experience it all at once. Pretty much every exchange student of color that I’ve spoken to in the Netherlands has recounted an experience to me that went pretty much like this: Day 1: “Yay! The Netherlands! Country of tolerance and gay rights!” Day 2: “Huh, that person was really friendly to me and did like 15 micro-aggression, that was weird” Day 4: “Waaaaaiiitt… why does this happen constantly? Are people messing with me?  Am I imagining this? Do I just misunderstand their culture? The Netherlands can’t be this racist.” Day 10: “Oh my god, I’m not imagining it, people actually are this racist and they think they’re not! WTF” Day 12: “Holy crap, if I try to point out a micro-aggression people go from super friendly to hyper aggressive screaming in my face in about 5 seconds. And people I thought I could trust jump to their defense. What is this hellscape?” Day 13: “Everything I thought I knew about the Netherlands is wrong. This place is so racist.” Day 14: “Holy crap, is that a primary school teacher in black face?” A Muslim girl was drowned in a river by school bullies and found with bite marks and the police are trying to write it off as her forgetting she couldn’t swim and jumping in the river to cool down? A local fisherman saw it all but was written off as being drunk even though he wasn’t. The school of the girl and the bullies is trying to change it’s name so it will no longer be associated with the incident.The school was Broad Oak Sports College. The river was River Irwell in Bury, Greater Manchester. The girl was Shukri Abdi and she was 12 years old and her and her family recently moved from Somalia. She was the eldest of 5 and her mum is completely distraught, and her uncle has been trying to point out that it wasn’t just a “tragic accident”.Racism still exists in the most horrific forms in the UK.
Ya Know: There is no such thing as an American
 dream n Europe we try to be civil
 and have empathy
queeranarchism:

queerautism:

queeranarchism:


love-geofffree:

designatedheckingadult:


queeranarchism:

LOL NOPE
Europe is racist as fuck. Europe has armed gaurds and high fences on its borders. Europe makes it illegal to rescue refugees at sea. Europe locks up refugee children. Europe has killer cops that shoot teenagers of color. Europe is full of fascist politicians nostalgically fantasizing about ethnic cleansing. Not a day goes by without attacks on Muslims. 
Fuck Europe.

Can confirm.


The problem with England (I can’t talk for the rest of Europe) is that our racism and our xenophobia and all our bigoted views manifest in a different way then America, and we use this to claim that it doesn’t exist, even when our country is built on it.
We are taught that the British empire was a good thing, and pretty much no one here knows anything about colionisation and our role in most current world problems.
But the amount of times that I’ve tried to talk about any issue within England and been shut down with the claim “well we’re not as bad as America”. 
That’s why the trump protests were so important. We are constantly looking to America to justify our own bigotry. We’ll call America out on their unjust wars, and ignore the fact our own army and government was supporting them.
Listen, I like my country- I like that we have a rich history (not that I support it, but heck, everyone likes learning about the Roman Empire, doesn’t mean they think it’s a good thing), I like that we have countrysides and big diverse towns like London, I like that we love fish and chips and curry sauce, I love our old pubs and traditional pub food, I like that we have the NHS (though I dislike how it’s run), I like our sense of dry gallows humour, I like our film and tv industry, I love our history of theatre, I love our myths and legends.
But god damn are we historically an awful country, and have we ever tried to make reparations? Our actions are still affecting other countries and ruining life. I don’t like the empire, I don’t like what the monarchy stands for, I don’t like our politicians that spew bigotry and hate, I don’t like our press which are like vultures, I don’t like the power the BBC has to cover-up actual sexual abuse and rape, I hate Katie Hopkins and that she has any platform to spew her hate, I hate Brexit and that it was founded on hate, I hate how we think our lives are more valuable than that of refuges or immigrants, I hate that we don’t think that we are directly or indirectly responsible for a lot of the refugees and asylum seekers that exist today, I hate that we have a system that is actively leading to the deaths of disabled people and that even when investigated by the UN and told to change because we were violating human rights we refused, I hate how we support America’s bigotry and then use their country as a shield when accused of our own bigotry. 
I hate that we, as a country, are incapable of accepting responsibility and making amends for our terrible actions. 

Incredibly well put. 
One of the tricky things is that every European country has their own fictional self image which it keeps repeating to convince itself it’s not a bigoted shithole.
In the UK it’s very much focused on being better than the US, being civilized and polite and stylish, while.. ya know… having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. 
In the Netherlands it’s focused on being ‘tolerant’ and gay-friendly and having semi-legal weed, while.. ya know… 
having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. 
In Germany it’s focused on having ‘learned from the second world war’ and being ‘better now, while .
. ya know… 



having a lot of blood on its hands and doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. 
And so on.. every European country considers itself either an underdog or a pioneer or a peak of civilization or small and quirky and of course they all consider themselves so much better than the US while 
doing all the same racist and bigoted shit everyone else is doing. 


https://metro.co.uk/2016/10/27/man-severely-beaten-after-being-told-to-speak-f-english-speaks-out-6218523/
I still remember exactly how it felt to read about this man being brutally asssulted, HIT ON THE FACE WITH A PLANK OF WOOD, in London, a city I lived next to and visited all the time, simple because he was speaking my native language in public. 
I remember breaking down sobbing because of how many people in this country I love hate me so fucking much for being born somewhere else. 
IIRC, there was another similar incident on the underground this past April. 
So tell me more about the supposed lack of xenophobia and racism in Europe


These sort of things are sometimes best articulated by people who did not grow up here and suddenly experience it all at once. Pretty much every exchange student of color that I’ve spoken to in the Netherlands has recounted an experience to me

that went pretty much like this:
Day 1: “Yay! The Netherlands! Country of tolerance and gay rights!”
Day 2: “Huh, that person was really friendly to me and did like 15 micro-aggression, that was weird”
Day 4: “Waaaaaiiitt… why does this happen constantly? Are people messing with me?  Am I imagining this? Do I just misunderstand their culture? The Netherlands can’t be this racist.”
Day 10: “Oh my god, I’m not imagining it, people actually are this racist and they think they’re not! WTF”
Day 12: “Holy crap, if I try to point out a micro-aggression people go from super friendly to hyper aggressive screaming in my face in about 5 seconds. And people I thought I could trust jump to their defense. What is this hellscape?”
Day 13: “Everything I thought I knew about the Netherlands is wrong. This place is so racist.”
Day 14: “Holy crap, is that a primary school teacher in black face?” 

A Muslim girl was drowned in a river by school bullies and found with bite marks and the police are trying to write it off as her forgetting she couldn’t swim and jumping in the river to cool down? A local fisherman saw it all but was written off as being drunk even though he wasn’t. The school of the girl and the bullies is trying to change it’s name so it will no longer be associated with the incident.The school was Broad Oak Sports College. The river was River Irwell in Bury, Greater Manchester. The girl was Shukri Abdi and she was 12 years old and her and her family recently moved from Somalia. She was the eldest of 5 and her mum is completely distraught, and her uncle has been trying to point out that it wasn’t just a “tragic accident”.Racism still exists in the most horrific forms in the UK.

queeranarchism: queerautism: queeranarchism: love-geofffree: designatedheckingadult: queeranarchism: LOL NOPE Europe is racist as...

Ya Know: Please don't do this to your fur babies This is what the other side of de-clawing a cat looks like... You literally cut the tips of their toes off. They will never walk correctly. They will inevitably get arthritis as a result. It hurts. They don't understand what happened to them. If you don't like claws: don't own a damn cat. kitcat992: del-the-masked-thing: cottoncandycan: therevenantrising: cisnowflake: artemuscain-gamingandbs: constable-nugget: xprmnt626: socialjusticeichigo: veterinaryrambles: babyanimalgifs: THIS IS IMPORTANT This message is veterinarian-approved!!! In case it isn’t clear, that is literally the last bone of a cat’s toes attached to those claws. If you thought only the claw was being removed during declaw surgery, you are unfortunately mistaken. It’s an amputation. Get claw caps instead! They stay on pretty well and your cat can walk around normally. You can take them off whenever you want. This is great for house cats. They don’t need their claws for defense but they need them to walk the way we need toes. This keeps them from scratching you or furniture and keeps them happy and healthy. It’s a win for everyone. Plus your cat will look like it got a kitty manicure. Reblogging again for the last comment, for anyone who wants to argue about saving their precious furniture. Boom! Problem solved. I regularly trim my cat’s claws because I love him They’re super cheap too! Not really a cat person, but this is still important. PLS DONT REMOVE UR CATS TOE BONES T o e b o n e s r i m p o r t a n t Plus you can have matching nails with your furbaby! Ya know…if that’s your thing and all.
Ya Know: Please don't do this to your fur babies
 This is what the other side of de-clawing a cat looks like...
 You literally cut the tips of their toes off. They will never
 walk correctly. They will inevitably get arthritis as a result. It
 hurts. They don't understand what happened to them. If you
 don't like claws: don't own a damn cat.
kitcat992:

del-the-masked-thing:

cottoncandycan:

therevenantrising:

cisnowflake:

artemuscain-gamingandbs:

constable-nugget:

xprmnt626:


socialjusticeichigo:

veterinaryrambles:

babyanimalgifs:
THIS IS IMPORTANT
This message is veterinarian-approved!!!

In case it isn’t clear, that is literally the last bone of a cat’s toes attached to those claws. If you thought only the claw was being removed during declaw surgery, you are unfortunately mistaken. It’s an amputation.


Get claw caps instead! They stay on pretty well and your cat can walk around normally. You can take them off whenever you want. This is great for house cats. They don’t need their claws for defense but they need them to walk the way we need toes. This keeps them from scratching you or furniture and keeps them happy and healthy. It’s a win for everyone. Plus your cat will look like it got a kitty manicure. 


Reblogging again for the last comment, for anyone who wants to argue about saving their precious furniture.  Boom!  Problem solved.

I regularly trim my cat’s claws because I love him

They’re super cheap too!


Not really a cat person, but this is still important.

PLS DONT REMOVE UR CATS TOE BONES


T o e  b o n e s  r  i m p o r t a n t

Plus you can have matching nails with your furbaby! Ya know…if that’s your thing and all.

kitcat992: del-the-masked-thing: cottoncandycan: therevenantrising: cisnowflake: artemuscain-gamingandbs: constable-nugget: xprmnt...

Ya Know: Allie Jake MorganAshleySandy Brooke Pat fCoke Corey Jason priteShare Sam John Friends mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out. Weird right? I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT. After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected. She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.  This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well. Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.
Ya Know: Allie
 Jake
 MorganAshleySandy Brooke
 Pat
 fCoke
 Corey Jason
 priteShare
 Sam
 John
 Friends
mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I go...

Ya Know: Allie Jake MorganAshleySandy Brooke Pat fCoke Corey Jason priteShare Sam John Friends brandonsgame: otherwise-called-squidpope: mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out. Weird right? I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT. After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected. She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.  This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well. Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine. what a sweet litter @xubbs
Ya Know: Allie
 Jake
 MorganAshleySandy Brooke
 Pat
 fCoke
 Corey Jason
 priteShare
 Sam
 John
 Friends
brandonsgame:

otherwise-called-squidpope:

mrscarstairs:
Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

what a sweet litter

@xubbs

brandonsgame: otherwise-called-squidpope: mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Full...