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Going To Sleep

Going To Sleep

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Stay In Bed

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Im Wide Awake

Im Wide Awake

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wide awake: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING: WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00 You won't be getting up for 5 through his diaper and now your bed is covered in urine more You change a diaper and try to get the kid to sleep a little longer but now the he's yelling zoo animals and doing flips on the 6:30 You made some breakfast for your child, but today he decided he hates eggs. He's saying he wants "scrims" but you don't know what that means. He won't explain and just keeps yelling "scrims" louder and louder 7:00 Your pillow got a little warm so you turn it over and go back to You've now watched the same episode of Spongebob four times. One time you tried to change it over to the news and your kid shoved a spoon in the Tranquil visions dance in your 8:00 O0 head as the sweet embrace of slumber engulfs your resting body You attempt to take a shower but your kid keeps throwing can openers into the tub. You weren't aware that you hacd multiple can openers An angel comes down and gently kisses your forehead. Sleep well, sweet prince 8:30 You walk upstairs to your room, but didn't realize your kid was using the stairs as a stunt zone for Hot Wheels and you slip on one and nearly die as you tumble back down to the A hummingbird perches itself outside your window and sings a sweet lullaby. He blows you a kiss and soars away 9:00 You try to finally go to the bathroom, but forgot to lock the door so now your kid is crying because you won't let him dump sand in your lap. He dumps it on the dog instead. The sand was actually used cat litter You wake briefly to adjust your sleep number. (You bought an adjustable bed with all the disposable income you have from not having a kid.) 9:30 You hear laughter, which is almost more terrifying than crying. You walk in the living room to see your kid making 10:00 S Still sleeping soundly, like a puppy in front of a crackling snow angels in glue. There's no way you're getting your deposit back with a giant glue angel in the middle of the carpet Your kid doses off and you try to catch up on your favorite show You stir a little and check your texts. Your friend wants to go to brunch later. That sounds nice 30 more minutes of sleep and you'll get ready for that. Maybe go to mall later or ride go-karts Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30 there's a dramatic moment where the music builds and your kid is now wide-awake. (Screw You get everyone loaded into the car to go to the zoo, even though it's 90 degrees and so humid taxidermy is coming back to life. Your kid yells a racial slur he heard in a movie. Out of all the words he's heard, that's the only one that stuck. You wake up feeling refreshed and beautiful. You know what? It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the bed a while and watch a movie 11:00 srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids
wide awake: AN AVERAGE SATURDAY MORNING:
 WITH KIDS VS. WITHOUT KID
 WITH KIDS TIME WITHOUT KIDS
 Time to get up! Someone peed 6:00
 You won't be getting up for 5
 through his diaper and now your
 bed is covered in urine
 more
 You change a diaper and try to
 get the kid to sleep a little longer
 but now the he's yelling zoo
 animals and doing flips on the
 6:30
 You made some breakfast for
 your child, but today he decided
 he hates eggs. He's saying he
 wants "scrims" but you don't
 know what that means. He won't
 explain and just keeps yelling
 "scrims" louder and louder
 7:00
 Your pillow got a little warm so
 you turn it over and go back to
 You've now watched the same
 episode of Spongebob four
 times. One time you tried to
 change it over to the news and
 your kid shoved a spoon in the
 Tranquil visions dance in your
 8:00
 O0
 head as the sweet embrace of
 slumber engulfs your resting
 body
 You attempt to take a shower
 but your kid keeps throwing can
 openers into the tub. You
 weren't aware that you hacd
 multiple can openers
 An angel comes down and
 gently kisses your forehead.
 Sleep well, sweet prince
 8:30
 You walk upstairs to your room,
 but didn't realize your kid was
 using the stairs as a stunt zone
 for Hot Wheels and you slip on
 one and nearly die as you
 tumble back down to the
 A hummingbird perches itself
 outside your window and sings a
 sweet lullaby. He blows you a
 kiss and soars away
 9:00
 You try to finally go to the
 bathroom, but forgot to lock the
 door so now your kid is crying
 because you won't let him dump
 sand in your lap. He dumps it on
 the dog instead. The sand was
 actually used cat litter
 You wake briefly to adjust your
 sleep number. (You bought an
 adjustable bed with all the
 disposable income you have
 from not having a kid.)
 9:30
 You hear laughter, which is
 almost more terrifying than
 crying. You walk in the living
 room to see your kid making 10:00
 S
 Still sleeping soundly, like a
 puppy in front of a crackling
 snow angels in glue. There's no
 way you're getting your deposit
 back with a giant glue angel in
 the middle of the carpet
 Your kid doses off and you try to
 catch up on your favorite show
 You stir a little and check your
 texts. Your friend wants to go to
 brunch later. That sounds nice
 30 more minutes of sleep and
 you'll get ready for that. Maybe
 go to mall later or ride go-karts
 Unfortunately, six minutes into it 10:30
 there's a dramatic moment
 where the music builds and your
 kid is now wide-awake. (Screw
 You get everyone loaded into
 the car to go to the zoo, even
 though it's 90 degrees and so
 humid taxidermy is coming back
 to life. Your kid yells a racial slur
 he heard in a movie. Out of all
 the words he's heard, that's the
 only one that stuck.
 You wake up feeling refreshed
 and beautiful. You know what?
 It's Saturday. Let's just lie in the
 bed a while and watch a movie
 11:00
srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

srsfunny:Saturdays With Kids Vs. Without Kids

wide awake: PRAY FOR THE WICKE RP STARTER MEME <p><a href="http://jeanbeanmemes.tumblr.com/post/175161423268/various-lyrics-from-the-panic-at-the-disco-album" class="tumblr_blog">jeanbeanmemes</a>:</p><blockquote> <p> <small><i>Various lyrics from the Panic! At The Disco album. Feel free to change anything to adapt better for RP purposes. This is part two of the lyrics</i><i>! </i><b><i>Some lyrics may be triggering.</i></b></small></p> <h2><b>Dancing’s Not A Crime</b></h2> <ul><li><small>I’m a moon-walker. I’m like MJ up in the clouds.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I know it sounds awkward.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m filthy as charged.<br/></small></li> <li><small>You’re a sweet talker but darlin’ whatcha gonna say now?<br/></small></li> <li><small>The midnight marauders, the higher never come down.</small></li> <li><small>You can’t take me anywhere.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m still uninvited, I’m still gonna light it.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m going insane and I don’t care.</small></li> <li><small>Dancing, dancing, dancing’s not a crime unless you do it without me.</small></li> <li><small>If you’re night crawlin’ with him, I won’t take it lying down.</small></li> <li><small>I’ve got a few lawyers, and you’re guilty as charged, guilty as charged</small></li> <li><small>We could be waltzin’, but darlin’ don’t be throwing shade now.</small></li> <li><small>Don’t call me Saint California if you’re at another altar.</small></li> <li><small>Just gimme your vows.</small></li> </ul><h2><b>One Of The Drunks</b></h2> <ul><li><small>Orange juice, pour out half the carton. Grey Goose, pour it, get it started.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Good times, remedy your sorrows.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Baptize, don’t worry ‘bout tomorrow.</small></li> <li><small>Shake it up, shake it up. <br/></small></li> <li><small>Now it’s time to dive in.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Share a cup, share a cup.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Now you’re screwdriving.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Every weekend with your friends, every weekday when it ends.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Damn, it’s all good, I guess.</small></li> <li><small>This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb.<br/></small></li> <li><small>This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks. Welcome to the club!</small></li> <li><small>Never dry, every day you’re thirsty.</small></li> <li><small>Bourbon high, sip it till you’re tipsy.</small></li> <li><small>Night’s young, searching for a feeling.</small></li> <li><small>Big fun, dancing with the demons.</small></li> <li><small>Holy Spirit grips you like a pistol.</small></li> </ul><h2><b>The Overpass</b></h2> <ul><li><small>Let me hear you say something.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m sorry to get sentimental tonight.<br/></small></li> <li><small>That perfume lingers in your hair.<br/></small></li> <li><small>It’s just that everything reminds me of things I thought I shouldn’t have to see again. <br/></small></li> <li><small>See the thing is I’m so sorry to say you need me, don’t you?<br/></small></li> <li><small>Someone still loves you</small></li> <li><small>Meet me at the overpass.</small></li> <li><small>Sketchy girls and lipstick boys, troubled love and high speed noise.</small></li> <li><small>I know you wanna meet me at the overpass.</small></li> <li><small>Tiny bottles of shit wine in a tin can that climbs.<br/></small></li> <li> <small>I remember every time everything about you is perfect down to your blood type.</small><br/></li> </ul><h2><b>King Of The Cloud</b></h2> <ul><li><small>Heaven knows that I’m born too late for these ghosts that I chase.<br/></small></li> <li><small>With these dreams, I inflate, painted skies in my brain.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Every day, I’m Carl Sagan in space to escape this old world.<br/></small></li> <li><small><br/></small></li> <li><small>Some days I lie wide awake &lsquo;til the Sun hits my face and I fade, elevate from the Earth.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Far away to a place where I’m free from the weight, this old world.</small></li> <li><small>I don’t trust anything or anyone, below the Sun.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I don’t feel anything at all.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m King of the clouds, I get lifted.</small></li> <li><small>Some only live to die, I’m alive to fly higher than angels in outfields inside of my mind.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m ascending these ladders, I’m climbin’, say goodbye to this old world.</small></li> <li><small>When I fall to rise with stardust in my eyes in the backbone of night, I’m combustible. <br/></small></li> <li> <small>Dust in the fire when I can’t sleep a wink, I’m too tired.</small><br/></li> </ul><h2><b>Old Fashioned</b></h2> <ul><li> <small>Once upon a thrill from a kiss to a swill, we were swallowing the nights like we have nine lives. </small><br/></li> <li> <small>Dead and gone so long, seventeen so gone.</small><br/></li> <li><small>We were bored like kids with a book of disorders, medicating every day to keep the straightness in order.</small></li> <li><small>It’s the false side of hope, where believers concede, and there’s only memories when it’s over.</small></li> <li><small>Pour out some liquor, make it an old fashioned. </small></li> <li><small>Remember your youth and all that you do, the plank and the passion.</small></li> <li><small>They were the best of times, they were the best of times.</small></li> <li><small>Once upon before we were brilliant and bored. <br/></small></li> <li><small>Two dashes of the bitters, add some ice and you pour.</small></li> <li><small>Get boozy, boozy, boozy.</small></li> <li><small>Now it looks like a wasteland.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Not the way that we remember.<br/></small></li> <li> <small>One more sip for the past, and always tip your bartender.</small><br/></li> </ul><h2><b>Dying In LA</b></h2> <ul><li><small>The moment you arrived, they built you up.<br/></small></li> <li><small>The sun was in your eyes. You couldn’t believe it.</small></li> <li><small>Riches all around, you’re walking. <br/></small></li> <li><small>Stars are on the ground, you start to believe it.</small></li> <li><small>Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you. <br/></small></li> <li><small>You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do.<br/></small></li> <li><small>But nobody knows you now, when you’re dying in LA.<br/></small></li> <li><small>And nobody owes you now, when you’re dying in LA<br/></small></li> <li><small>Nights at the chateau trapped in your sunset bungalow, you couldn’t escape it.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Drink of paradise, they told you put your blood on ice.<br/></small></li> <li> <small>You’re not gonna make it.</small><br/></li> </ul></blockquote>
wide awake: PRAY FOR THE WICKE
 RP STARTER MEME
<p><a href="http://jeanbeanmemes.tumblr.com/post/175161423268/various-lyrics-from-the-panic-at-the-disco-album" class="tumblr_blog">jeanbeanmemes</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p>

<small><i>Various lyrics from the Panic! At The Disco album. Feel free to change anything to adapt better for RP purposes. This is part two of the lyrics</i><i>! </i><b><i>Some lyrics may be triggering.</i></b></small></p>
<h2><b>Dancing’s Not A Crime</b></h2>
<ul><li><small>I’m a moon-walker. I’m like MJ up in the clouds.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>I know it sounds awkward.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>I’m filthy as charged.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>You’re a sweet talker but darlin’ whatcha gonna say now?<br/></small></li>
<li><small>The midnight marauders, the higher never come down.</small></li>
<li><small>You can’t take me anywhere.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>I’m still uninvited, I’m still gonna light it.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>I’m going insane and I don’t care.</small></li>
<li><small>Dancing, dancing, dancing’s not a crime unless you do it without me.</small></li>
<li><small>If you’re night crawlin’ with him, I won’t take it lying down.</small></li>
<li><small>I’ve got a few lawyers, and you’re guilty as charged, guilty as charged</small></li>
<li><small>We could be waltzin’, but darlin’ don’t be throwing shade now.</small></li>
<li><small>Don’t call me Saint California if you’re at another altar.</small></li>
<li><small>Just gimme your vows.</small></li>
</ul><h2><b>One Of The Drunks</b></h2>
<ul><li><small>Orange juice, pour out half the carton. Grey Goose, pour it, get it started.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Good times, remedy your sorrows.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Baptize, don’t worry ‘bout tomorrow.</small></li>
<li><small>Shake it up, shake it up. <br/></small></li>
<li><small>Now it’s time to dive in.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Share a cup, share a cup.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Now you’re screwdriving.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Every weekend with your friends, every weekday when it ends.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Damn, it’s all good, I guess.</small></li>
<li><small>This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks. Welcome to the club!</small></li>
<li><small>Never dry, every day you’re thirsty.</small></li>
<li><small>Bourbon high, sip it till you’re tipsy.</small></li>
<li><small>Night’s young, searching for a feeling.</small></li>
<li><small>Big fun, dancing with the demons.</small></li>
<li><small>Holy Spirit grips you like a pistol.</small></li>
</ul><h2><b>The Overpass</b></h2>
<ul><li><small>Let me hear you say something.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>I’m sorry to get sentimental tonight.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>That perfume lingers in your hair.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>It’s just that everything reminds me of things I thought I shouldn’t have to see again. <br/></small></li>
<li><small>See the thing is I’m so sorry to say you need me, don’t you?<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Someone still loves you</small></li>
<li><small>Meet me at the overpass.</small></li>
<li><small>Sketchy girls and lipstick boys, troubled love and high speed noise.</small></li>
<li><small>I know you wanna meet me at the overpass.</small></li>
<li><small>Tiny bottles of shit wine in a tin can that climbs.<br/></small></li>
<li>
<small>I remember every time everything about you is perfect down to your blood type.</small><br/></li>
</ul><h2><b>King Of The Cloud</b></h2>
<ul><li><small>Heaven knows that I’m born too late for these ghosts that I chase.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>With these dreams, I inflate, painted skies in my brain.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Every day, I’m Carl Sagan in space to escape this old world.<br/></small></li>
<li><small><br/></small></li>
<li><small>Some days I lie wide awake &lsquo;til the Sun hits my face and I fade, elevate from the Earth.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Far away to a place where I’m free from the weight, this old world.</small></li>
<li><small>I don’t trust anything or anyone, below the Sun.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>I don’t feel anything at all.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>I’m King of the clouds, I get lifted.</small></li>
<li><small>Some only live to die, I’m alive to fly higher than angels in outfields inside of my mind.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>I’m ascending these ladders, I’m climbin’, say goodbye to this old world.</small></li>
<li><small>When I fall to rise with stardust in my eyes in the backbone of night, I’m combustible. <br/></small></li>
<li>
<small>Dust in the fire when I can’t sleep a wink, I’m too tired.</small><br/></li>
</ul><h2><b>Old Fashioned</b></h2>
<ul><li>
<small>Once upon a thrill from a kiss to a swill, we were swallowing the nights like we have nine lives. </small><br/></li>
<li>
<small>Dead and gone so long, seventeen so gone.</small><br/></li>
<li><small>We were bored like kids with a book of disorders, medicating every day to keep the straightness in order.</small></li>
<li><small>It’s the false side of hope, where believers concede, and there’s only memories when it’s over.</small></li>
<li><small>Pour out some liquor, make it an old fashioned. </small></li>
<li><small>Remember your youth and all that you do, the plank and the passion.</small></li>
<li><small>They were the best of times, they were the best of times.</small></li>
<li><small>Once upon before we were brilliant and bored. <br/></small></li>
<li><small>Two dashes of the bitters, add some ice and you pour.</small></li>
<li><small>Get boozy, boozy, boozy.</small></li>
<li><small>Now it looks like a wasteland.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Not the way that we remember.<br/></small></li>
<li>
<small>One more sip for the past, and always tip your bartender.</small><br/></li>
</ul><h2><b>Dying In LA</b></h2>
<ul><li><small>The moment you arrived, they built you up.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>The sun was in your eyes. You couldn’t believe it.</small></li>
<li><small>Riches all around, you’re walking. <br/></small></li>
<li><small>Stars are on the ground, you start to believe it.</small></li>
<li><small>Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you. <br/></small></li>
<li><small>You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>But nobody knows you now, when you’re dying in LA.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>And nobody owes you now, when you’re dying in LA<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Nights at the chateau trapped in your sunset bungalow, you couldn’t escape it.<br/></small></li>
<li><small>Drink of paradise, they told you put your blood on ice.<br/></small></li>
<li>
<small>You’re not gonna make it.</small><br/></li>
</ul></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://jeanbeanmemes.tumblr.com/post/175161423268/various-lyrics-from-the-panic-at-the-disco-album" class="tumblr_blog">jeanb...