J K
J K

J K

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X Y
X Y

X Y

Last
Last

Last

Boobses
Boobses

Boobses

sinking
 sinking

sinking

so much
 so much

so much

firstly
firstly

firstly

knick knack
knick knack

knick knack

barracks
barracks

barracks

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Advice, Apparently, and Ass: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK FANDOM IT'S SICKENING. SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons theamazingcaptainspider: hayley566: waveringwannabevalkyrie: libertarirynn: hayley566: I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that. Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke. Y'all really can’t distinguish fiction from reality huh? I call bullshit on “wOrLd oF mEn” bullshit because CM’s writing was fucking trash. Literally every single fucking man she met besides Nick Fury and the Skrull guy was a complete misogynistic caricature, to the point that her FUCKING DAD’S first reaction to her getting in a go-cart accident was not desperate fear/concern for his only daughter, but to…immediately belittle her? No babe that’s not reality, that’s shit ass writers who have no sense of nuance and no sense of developing villains because “UHHHHH HERO IS WOMAN AND MAN HATE WOMAN SO ALL MEN BAD”.Take another example, the boot camp scene where apparently like 8 white guys have nothing to do except stand around and taunt Carol? Except in real life boot camp no one has fucking time to stand around, your ass is constantly being drilled and harassed by your drill instructor, and all of the recruits are being shaped into a unit to WORK TOGETHER, with everyone being treated equally harshly. (Also, I’m supposed to believe that boot camp back in the 80’s/90’s was unisex?) If it was just Carol training on her own, that again begs the question of why an entire group of guys was just staring at her while she was training instead of I don’t know… doing their own training? Relaxing on base during what little leisure time they had? But those questions don’t matter because the writers didn’t give a damn about reality. They only gave a fuck about pushing their bullshit man hating agenda, strawmanning all men, and creating a situation where Carol was nothing but a poor innocent victim of evil cruel men. They literally only existed to victimize Carol and make all of her behavior seem acceptable because “they were mean to her first, so if she decides to nearly break a man’s hand off and steal his motorcycle later, it’s okay!” That’s not fucking realism, that’s hack writing.Captain Marvel is bad, she’s not even remarkable by the standards of female characters, and quite frankly it’s insulting that you ignore and downplay other, far more iconic and well-written female heroes just because Carol plays to your politics. @waveringwannabevalkyrie “world of man” is a term used in the Wonder Woman comics several times to describe the world outside of themiscrya. That’s why I used it here. I would go over how abusive men do exist, just like abusive women do and how I’ve had my own experiences with an abusive father but from your tone, I think if I explain anymore you would make fun of me or something with the whole “aw you have daddy issues and that’s why you like the movie lol”. I’m so hope you’re not that cruel but knowing the internet, you cannot be safe. I just hope you’re not like those kind of people that I met and are willing to at least understand that just because you don’t experience something doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else.@libertarirynn as someone who’s seen the movie, I feel like the struggle was more than just “not knowing how awesome she was.” She was being lied to about her entire life for six years and we even see her have a breakdown upon realizing this. We see her sobbing out in a field over finding all this out. The idea of finally being free from the control of others, whether male or female (people seem to forget that minn-erva was also a villain in the movie) in both a physical and emotional sense. Despite Carol having her memories wiped in the beginning, the audience gets flashes of the sexism she faced growing up. While I love both films, I will say that captain marvel spoke to me more than Wonder Woman because of my own personal experiences and if it didn’t do the same for you guys, that’s fine. I just feel that the movie gets misrepresented or misinterpreted a lot and that it is unfair. It sucks that Wonder Woman is used to bash captain marvel despite the different approaches the movies take towards women’s issues. In fact, that behavior has caused me to like Wonder Woman less and less and I really don’t want that to happen. Not only do I start to see the flaws in the film being put on a pedestal, I become more defensive of the one that’s being misrepresented. I still love the Wonder Woman movie but the internet makes it hard to sometimes.I guess what I’m saying is…I wish fans wouldn’t use one to bash the other. I honestly wasn’t trying to bash Wonder Woman or use captain marvel to do so in my last reply. I was just explaining how one is more successful since it tried to be more palatable while the other took more risks in being a feminist film. I hope you both can see that I am not looking for a fight and am just explaining myself. I hope this helped you understand where I’m coming from and that instead of arguing or throwing insults like what usually happens online, this can be handled amicably. Both are good movies.People who hate them or use one to trash the other are secist idiots. End of story Or maybe they just have a different opinion and maybe you need to learn how to spell “sexist” before calling anyone else an idiot.
Advice, Apparently, and Ass: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM
 CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER
 WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK
 FANDOM IT'S SICKENING.
 SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons
theamazingcaptainspider:

hayley566:

waveringwannabevalkyrie:
libertarirynn:

hayley566:

I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. 
Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. 
While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that.

Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? 
Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke.

Y'all really can’t distinguish fiction from reality huh? I call bullshit on “wOrLd oF mEn” bullshit because CM’s writing was fucking trash. Literally every single fucking man she met besides Nick Fury and the Skrull guy was a complete misogynistic caricature, to the point that her FUCKING DAD’S first reaction to her getting in a go-cart accident was not desperate fear/concern for his only daughter, but to…immediately belittle her? No babe that’s not reality, that’s shit ass writers who have no sense of nuance and no sense of developing villains because “UHHHHH HERO IS WOMAN AND MAN HATE WOMAN SO ALL MEN BAD”.Take another example, the boot camp scene where apparently like 8 white guys have nothing to do except stand around and taunt Carol? Except in real life boot camp no one has fucking time to stand around, your ass is constantly being drilled and harassed by your drill instructor, and all of the recruits are being shaped into a unit to WORK TOGETHER, with everyone being treated equally harshly. (Also, I’m supposed to believe that boot camp back in the 80’s/90’s was unisex?) If it was just Carol training on her own, that again begs the question of why an entire group of guys was just staring at her while she was training instead of I don’t know… doing their own training? Relaxing on base during what little leisure time they had? But those questions don’t matter because the writers didn’t give a damn about reality. They only gave a fuck about pushing their bullshit man hating agenda, strawmanning all men, and creating a situation where Carol was nothing but a poor innocent victim of evil cruel men. They literally only existed to victimize Carol and make all of her behavior seem acceptable because “they were mean to her first, so if she decides to nearly break a man’s hand off and steal his motorcycle later, it’s okay!” That’s not fucking realism, that’s hack writing.Captain Marvel is bad, she’s not even remarkable by the standards of female characters, and quite frankly it’s insulting that you ignore and downplay other, far more iconic and well-written female heroes just because Carol plays to your politics.
@waveringwannabevalkyrie “world of man” is a term used in the Wonder Woman comics several times to describe the world outside of themiscrya. That’s why I used it here. I would go over how abusive men do exist, just like abusive women do and how I’ve had my own experiences with an abusive father but from your tone, I think if I explain anymore you would make fun of me or something with the whole “aw you have daddy issues and that’s why you like the movie lol”. I’m so hope you’re not that cruel but knowing the internet, you cannot be safe. I just hope you’re not like those kind of people that I met and are willing to at least understand that just because you don’t experience something doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone else.@libertarirynn as someone who’s seen the movie, I feel like the struggle was more than just “not knowing how awesome she was.” She was being lied to about her entire life for six years and we even see her have a breakdown upon realizing this. We see her sobbing out in a field over finding all this out. The idea of finally being free from the control of others, whether male or female (people seem to forget that minn-erva was also a villain in the movie) in both a physical and emotional sense. Despite Carol having her memories wiped in the beginning, the audience gets flashes of the sexism she faced growing up. While I love both films, I will say that captain marvel spoke to me more than Wonder Woman because of my own personal experiences and if it didn’t do the same for you guys, that’s fine. I just feel that the movie gets misrepresented or misinterpreted a lot and that it is unfair. It sucks that Wonder Woman is used to bash captain marvel despite the different approaches the movies take towards women’s issues. In fact, that behavior has caused me to like Wonder Woman less and less and I really don’t want that to happen. Not only do I start to see the flaws in the film being put on a pedestal, I become more defensive of the one that’s being misrepresented. I still love the Wonder Woman movie but the internet makes it hard to sometimes.I guess what I’m saying is…I wish fans wouldn’t use one to bash the other. I honestly wasn’t trying to bash Wonder Woman or use captain marvel to do so in my last reply.  I was just explaining how one is more successful since it tried to be more palatable while the other took more risks in being a feminist film. I hope you both can see that I am not looking for a fight and am just explaining myself. I hope this helped you understand where I’m coming from and that instead of arguing or throwing insults like what usually happens online, this can be handled amicably.

Both are good movies.People who hate them or use one to trash the other are secist idiots. End of story

Or maybe they just have a different opinion and maybe you need to learn how to spell “sexist” before calling anyone else an idiot.

theamazingcaptainspider: hayley566: waveringwannabevalkyrie: libertarirynn: hayley566: I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder W...

Advice, Life, and Love: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK FANDOM IT'S SICKENING. SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons hayley566: I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that. Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke.
Advice, Life, and Love: GOTTA LOVE HOW PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK TO SLAM
 CAPTIAN MARVEL WHEN EVERYONE WAS CHEERING ON WONDER
 WOMAN. SO MUCH DOUBLE STANDARDS IN THE COMIC BOOK
 FANDOM IT'S SICKENING.
 SUPER-HERO-COonFESSIons
hayley566:
I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. 
Let me explain, Wonder Woman grew up in a paradise without men or sexism and just now entered the world of man and just now experienced sexism. Carol grew up in the world of man and grew up within this system. That and Wonder Woman takes place further in the past, making it easier to think “wow, back then was awful but we’re way better now” while several comic fans grew up in the 90’s, making it feel not that long ago. 
While I love both films, I do feel like Captain Marvel took more risks than Wonder Woman in this sense and I applaud it for that.
Miss me with that nonsense. The Carol we see at the start of the film only remembers her life on a planet where men and women were equally trained combatants and as far as we can tell have the respect of their male peers. Yes she was technically born on earth but until the latter half of the film she doesn’t remember that part. Her personality is shaped by the world that she remembers. And how is it “taking risks” to have a character that’s almost completely invulnerable and whose only “flaw” is not realizing how awesome she actually is, even though she was already practically all powerful? How is it taking risks to have a character who basically never learns or grows and is just already a badass who dispatches all enemies with little to no difficulty? Diana had to face defeat and the possibility that her simplistic belief in justice and the existence of war need to be re-examined. She had to work with others and listen to wisdom and advice in order to make informed decisions. She was powerful, but not invulnerable. She was relatable and likable. She didn’t go around being cold and rude to people for no damn reason and ooze pretension with every word she spoke.

hayley566: I think I know why that is. It’s because Wonder Woman is more fantasy-esque and Captain Marvel is a more harsh reality. Let me e...

Child Support, Community, and Fucking: Chronic Sex @ChronicSexChat Chronic Sex *Psst* Marriage equality doesn't exist anywhere unless disabled people can marry without losing their benefits Pass it orn 5/21/18, 7:03 AM actualmythicalcreature: somecunttookmyurl: tyse-has-unpopular-opinions: juxtapoesition: oistrong: I’m all for fighting for marriage equality in the LGBT community. But we’re so focused on that no one knows about this problem. W…wait Thats a thing???? Yep! The man I refer to as my husband? We aren’t actually married. We can’t be. If I married him, the government would literally expect me to care for him and be his sole source of income. He would lose all of his benefits, including SSDI. Spouses are expected to share income and that effects ALL of his benefits, even his health insurance. We simply can’t afford to be married. But it goes even further than that. If I were disabled, our incomes would STILL be combined, meaning BOTH of us would have our benefits cut. For people reviving supplemental income, their benefits can be cut anywhere from 25% of their current income all the way down to 0% In fact, one of the stipulations of receiving income under the adult disabled child program (which provides benefits for people who were disabled before age 22) is that they LITERALLY never be married. I normally don’t link to blog posts as resources, but since social service resource sites like to dress this problem up and make it seem smaller than it really is, I’m gonna call it appropriate! Check it out! https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/06/29/op-ed-why-no-matter-what-i-still-cant-marry-my-girlfriend I’m upset about the situation in case you couldn’t tell. Disabled people in the UK do not have marriage equality. If you so much as LIVE with a partner you lose a massive chunk of income Disabled Canadian chiming in - it’s the same here. I can even be kicked off disability for living with a romantic partner for longer than 6 months because then I’m considered common-law, and said partners income is deducted dollar for dollar from my benefits. Things like alimony, spousal support, and child support are also deducted dollar for dollar from my benefits - so you also get in shit for having previous relationships. If I have a roommate, they can request I PROVE that I’m not in a relationship with them by getting character references to swear it. Essentially, anyone whose unlucky enough to love me, is considered my financial caretaker. It fucking sucks.
Child Support, Community, and Fucking: Chronic Sex
 @ChronicSexChat
 Chronic Sex
 *Psst*
 Marriage equality doesn't exist
 anywhere unless disabled people can
 marry without losing their benefits
 Pass it orn
 5/21/18, 7:03 AM
actualmythicalcreature:
somecunttookmyurl:


tyse-has-unpopular-opinions:

juxtapoesition:


oistrong:
I’m all for fighting for marriage equality in the LGBT community. But we’re so focused on that no one knows about this problem.

W…wait Thats a thing????


Yep! The man I refer to as my husband? We aren’t actually married. We can’t be. 
If I married him, the government would literally expect me to care for him and be his sole source of income. He would lose all of his benefits, including SSDI. Spouses are expected to share income and that effects ALL of his benefits, even his health insurance. We simply can’t afford to be married. 
But it goes even further than that. If I were disabled, our incomes would STILL be combined, meaning BOTH of us would have our benefits cut. 
For people reviving supplemental income, their benefits can be cut anywhere from 25% of their current income all the way down to 0%
In fact, one of the stipulations of receiving income under the adult disabled child program (which provides benefits for people who were disabled before age 22) is that they LITERALLY never be married. 
I normally don’t link to blog posts as resources, but since social service resource sites like to dress this problem up and make it seem smaller than it really is, I’m gonna call it appropriate! Check it out!
https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/06/29/op-ed-why-no-matter-what-i-still-cant-marry-my-girlfriend
I’m upset about the situation in case you couldn’t tell. 


Disabled people in the UK do not have marriage equality.

If you so much as LIVE with a partner you lose a massive chunk of income 


Disabled Canadian chiming in - it’s the same here. I can even be kicked off disability for living with a romantic partner for longer than 6 months because then I’m considered common-law, and said partners income is deducted dollar for dollar from my benefits. Things like alimony, spousal support, and child support are also deducted dollar for dollar from my benefits - so you also get in shit for having previous relationships. If I have a roommate, they can request I PROVE that I’m not in a relationship with them by getting character references to swear it. Essentially, anyone whose unlucky enough to love me, is considered my financial caretaker. It fucking sucks.

actualmythicalcreature: somecunttookmyurl: tyse-has-unpopular-opinions: juxtapoesition: oistrong: I’m all for fighting for marriage equ...

Amazon, Chrome, and Destiny: a Live Chat with Amazon.com- Google Chrome https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/c45e-9461b3f74d40&token &callMeC2Cld-e7bd2 Sound End Chat 3 Chat You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not recieved Amazon: Warmest greetingsmy name is Thor Me: Greeting, Thor. Can I be Odin? Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day? Amazon: Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life Me: Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occured to cause this agony? Me: I am afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book. Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty to get it back to youl I fear it is Loki but I dare not blame him for such things. I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can begin to create a new quest in order to get the book back to you. Very well my son. Me: Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this please Father. Amazon: Me: Do it for me Thor, but most imporantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades) rely on this book. Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate the book into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move Me: ok so roleplay aside i have my money back and i reorder the book haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book Amazon: Me: Great Have you placed the order Amazon: Me: let me do that done Amazon: Okay let me edit it for you That good? Me: Wow hooking me up with one day delivery? Sweet haha yeah man gotta get you your book asap! Amazon: Me: Ive heard Amazon had great customer service and this just proves it! thanks man Amazon: No problemIs there any other issue or question that I can help you with? Me: Nah that was it. Really appreciate it Anytime bro. Have a great day. Goodbye Odin Amazon: Me: Bye my son Send Amazon from Amazon.com is online Secure Connection lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever
Amazon, Chrome, and Destiny: a Live Chat with Amazon.com- Google Chrome
 https://www.amazon.com/gp/help/c45e-9461b3f74d40&token &callMeC2Cld-e7bd2
 Sound
 End Chat 3
 Chat
 You are now connected to Amazon from Amazon.com
 Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not recieved
 Amazon: Warmest greetingsmy name is Thor
 Me: Greeting, Thor. Can I be Odin?
 Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day?
 Amazon:
 Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life
 Me:
 Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occured to cause
 this agony?
 Me: I am afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we
 keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book.
 Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty
 to get it back to youl I fear it is Loki but I dare not blame him for such things.
 I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can begin to create a new quest
 in order to get the book back to you.
 Very well my son.
 Me:
 Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this please Father.
 Amazon:
 Me: Do it for me Thor, but most imporantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades)
 rely on this book.
 Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate the book
 into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon
 I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move
 Me: ok so roleplay aside i have my money back and i reorder the book
 haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book
 Amazon:
 Me: Great
 Have you placed the order
 Amazon:
 Me: let me do that
 done
 Amazon: Okay let me edit it for you
 That good?
 Me: Wow hooking me up with one day delivery? Sweet
 haha yeah man gotta get you your book asap!
 Amazon:
 Me:
 Ive heard Amazon had great customer service and this just proves it! thanks man
 Amazon: No problemIs there any other issue or question that I can help you with?
 Me:
 Nah that was it. Really appreciate it
 Anytime bro. Have a great day. Goodbye Odin
 Amazon:
 Me: Bye my son
 Send
 Amazon from Amazon.com is online
 Secure Connection
lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever

lolzandtrollz:Best Customer Service Ever

Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration

feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a...

Funny, Shoes, and Time: Whose Shoes?? 24 Amazing Funny Pics That Are Sorta Worth Your Time - JustViral.Net
Funny, Shoes, and Time: Whose Shoes??
24 Amazing Funny Pics That Are Sorta Worth Your Time - JustViral.Net

24 Amazing Funny Pics That Are Sorta Worth Your Time - JustViral.Net