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Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddamn-doomguy: captainsnoop: big dick energy Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans. This is genuinely beyond big dick energy It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE) Holy shit Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT.  Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.   ALPHA AF!!! I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him. Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.
Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon:

afairlypudgycat:

whiskeyworen:

jaxblade:

norseminuteman:

red-faced-wolf:

kasaron:


bears-for-the-bear-god:

the-goddamn-doomguy:

captainsnoop:
big dick energy
Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans.


This is genuinely beyond big dick energy

It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE)


Holy shit 

Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT. 
Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.  

ALPHA AF!!!

I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him.

Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time


Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.

fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddam...

Beard, Clothes, and Head: 0134 %D21:58 02-UK e Today 21:28 Congratulations on matching with Tom please select your response: Cheesy pick up line 2. Interesting fact 3. an honest compliment 4. Start a text RPG 4 You leave your cabin the woods with little more than the clothes on you back a small bag and your simple steel dagger you see 3 paths in from of you: 1. The path into the woods. 2. The path down to the river 3. The path up the mountain The path follows the river until it gets to an old decrepit wooden bridge. You decide to: 1. chance crossing the bridge. 2. Continue down the path. 3. Stop to fish. & You stand in the water and stab your sword randomly into the river. The fish do not seem impressed. As you contimplate your life descisions you hear footsteps in the water behind you. run away 2. Turn around and draw your sword 3. Dive into the water Without looking you dive straight into the deeper parts of the river. It's much colder than you expected and youre swept away by the strong current. You just manage to surface and keep your head above water. 1. Swim towards the Riverbank 2. Accept your fate 1 You manage to get to the edge of the bank and grab onto a rock, you use the last of your strength to pull yourself out of the freezing river, your frostbitten limbs barely working You lay face down on the grass by the river, as you slowly loose conciousness and everything fades to black... when you wake up you hear the sound of horse shoes clopping and the sound of wooden wheels hitting rocks. When your eyes start working agian you see that your in the back of a horse drawn wagon. You see a man sat opposite you in handcuffs, with long blonde hair and a messy beard. He notices you're awake and says: "Hey you, you're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there"
Beard, Clothes, and Head: 0134 %D21:58
 02-UK e
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response:
 Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountain
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to:
 1. chance crossing the bridge.
 2. Continue down the path.
 3. Stop to fish.
 &
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you.
 run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water.
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 1
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourself
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black...
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks.
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says:
 "Hey you, you're finally awake.
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Beard, Clothes, and Head: RI#01 34%1021 :58 Today 21:28 Congratulations on matching with Tom please select your response 1. Cheesy pick up line 2. Interesting fact 3. an honest compliment 4. Start a text RPG 4 You leave your cabin the woods with little more than the clothes on you back a small bag and your simple steel dagger you see 3 paths in from of you: 1. The path into the woods. 2. The path down to the river 3. The path up the mountairn 2 The path follows the river until it gets to an old decrepit wooden bridge. You decide to 1. chance crossing the bridge 2. Continue down the path 3. Stop to fish 3 You stand in the water and stab your sword randomly into the river. The fish do not seem impressed. As you contimplate your life descisions you hear footsteps in the water behind you 1. run away 2. Turn around and draw your sword 3. Dive into the water 3 Without looking you dive straight into the deeper parts of the river. It's much colder than you expected and youre swept away by the strong current. You just manage to surface and keep your head above water 1. Swim towards the Riverbank 2. Accept your fate You manage to get to the edge of the bank and grab onto a rock, you use the last of your strength to pull yourseltf out of the freezing river, your frostbitten limbs barely working You lay face down on the grass by the river, as you slowly loose conciousness and everything fades to black when you wake up you hear the sound of horse shoes clopping and the sound of wooden wheels hitting rocks When your eyes start working agian you see that your in the back of a horse drawn wagon. You see a man sat opposite you in handcuffs, with long blonde hair and a messy beard. He notices you're awake and says Hey you, you're finally awake You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there" Tinder RPG
Beard, Clothes, and Head: RI#01 34%1021 :58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finally awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG

Tinder RPG

Beard, Clothes, and Dank: RI#01 34%1021 :58 Today 21:28 Congratulations on matching with Tom please select your response 1. Cheesy pick up line 2. Interesting fact 3. an honest compliment 4. Start a text RPG 4 You leave your cabin the woods with little more than the clothes on you back a small bag and your simple steel dagger you see 3 paths in from of you: 1. The path into the woods. 2. The path down to the river 3. The path up the mountairn 2 The path follows the river until it gets to an old decrepit wooden bridge. You decide to 1. chance crossing the bridge 2. Continue down the path 3. Stop to fish 3 You stand in the water and stab your sword randomly into the river. The fish do not seem impressed. As you contimplate your life descisions you hear footsteps in the water behind you 1. run away 2. Turn around and draw your sword 3. Dive into the water 3 Without looking you dive straight into the deeper parts of the river. It's much colder than you expected and youre swept away by the strong current. You just manage to surface and keep your head above water 1. Swim towards the Riverbank 2. Accept your fate You manage to get to the edge of the bank and grab onto a rock, you use the last of your strength to pull yourseltf out of the freezing river, your frostbitten limbs barely working You lay face down on the grass by the river, as you slowly loose conciousness and everything fades to black when you wake up you hear the sound of horse shoes clopping and the sound of wooden wheels hitting rocks When your eyes start working agian you see that your in the back of a horse drawn wagon. You see a man sat opposite you in handcuffs, with long blonde hair and a messy beard. He notices you're awake and says Hey you, you're finally awake You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there" Tinder RPG by DannyHallam MORE MEMES
Beard, Clothes, and Dank: RI#01 34%1021 :58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finally awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG by DannyHallam
MORE MEMES

Tinder RPG by DannyHallam MORE MEMES

Beard, Clothes, and Head: RI*034% 02-UK 21:58 Today 21:28 Congratulations on matching with Tom please select your response 1. Cheesy pick up line 2. Interesting fact 3. an honest compliment 4. Start a text RPG 4 You leave your cabin the woods with little more than the clothes on you back a small bag and your simple steel dagger you see 3 paths in from of you: 1. The path into the woods. 2. The path down to the river 3. The path up the mountairn 2 The path follows the river until it gets to an old decrepit wooden bridge. You decide to 1. chance crossing the bridge 2. Continue down the path 3. Stop to fish 3 You stand in the water and stab your sword randomly into the river. The fish do not seem impressed. As you contimplate your life descisions you hear footsteps in the water behind you. 1. run away 2. Turn around and draw your sword 3. Dive into the water 3 Without looking you dive straight into the deeper parts of the river. It's much colder than you expected and youre swept away by the strong current. You just manage to surface and keep your head above water 1. Swim towards the Riverbank 2. Accept your fate You manage to get to the edge of the bank and grab onto a rock, you use the last of your strength to pull yourseltf out of the freezing river, your frostbitten limbs barely working You lay face down on the grass by the river, as you slowly loose conciousness and everything fades to black.. when you wake up you hear the sound of horse shoes clopping and the sound of wooden wheels hitting rocks. When your eyes start working agian you see that your in the back of a horse drawn wagon. You see a man sat opposite you in handcuffs, with long blonde hair and a messy beard. He notices you're awake and says Hey you, you're finaly awake You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there" Tinder RPG
Beard, Clothes, and Head: RI*034%
 02-UK
 21:58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you.
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black..
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks.
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finaly awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG

Tinder RPG

Bad, Beautiful, and Cats: oo Verizon 9:06 AM Messages Group MMS Details To: Sister, Dad Yesterday 3:24 PM Dad I've got some bad news. Kitty has been missing since last night. When your mom drove the neighborhood just now, she found her in the street near the house. Your mom is pretty emotional so please reach out when you can and offer your support Oh no. So sorry to hear this Sister Man. Just got off the phone with her-she's definitely very broken up about it. Give her our love in person when you get home, dad. And be sure to get the woman her groceries. Love you guys! Text Message Send oo Verizon 9:06 AM Messages Group MMS Details To: Sister, Dad Yesterday 5:38 PM Dad Well your not going to believe this. After a beautiful burial service and words of remembrance from yours truly. We walked back in the house to begin our post-Kitty life. Out of habit I looked out the back window and guess who was staring back at me? You guessed it. We buried someone else's cat. I gues:s it's true-cats do have nine lives. Thanks for y words. All is better now. our kind Sister is this forreal?! Dad Would you like a photo? Text Message Send oo Verizon 9:06 AM ィ。 78% Messages Group MMS Details To: Sister, Dad Would you like a photo? Sister YES What the actual fuck Sister Text Message Send oo Verizon 12:35 PM 8 73% Messages Mom Details Today 12:34 PM Oh, and BTW, I dug up the carcass and took it to our vet and it didn't have a chip in it. Because it's a rabbit. DO NOT tell the world about this. Message A S D F G H J K L 123 space return roaringstream: thecommonchick: THIS IS TOO MUCH 💀😂 “Do NOT tell the world about this”200,000 notes
Bad, Beautiful, and Cats: oo Verizon
 9:06 AM
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Yesterday 3:24 PM
 Dad
 I've got some bad news. Kitty
 has been missing since last
 night. When your mom drove
 the neighborhood just now,
 she found her in the street
 near the house. Your mom is
 pretty emotional so please
 reach out when you can and
 offer your support
 Oh no. So sorry to hear this
 Sister
 Man. Just got off the phone
 with her-she's definitely very
 broken up about it. Give her
 our love in person when you
 get home, dad. And be sure
 to get the woman her
 groceries. Love you guys!
 Text Message
 Send

 oo Verizon
 9:06 AM
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Yesterday 5:38 PM
 Dad
 Well your not going to believe
 this. After a beautiful burial
 service and words of
 remembrance from yours
 truly. We walked back in the
 house to begin our post-Kitty
 life. Out of habit I looked out
 the back window and guess
 who was staring back at me?
 You guessed it. We buried
 someone else's cat. I gues:s
 it's true-cats do have nine
 lives. Thanks for y
 words. All is better now.
 our kind
 Sister
 is this forreal?!
 Dad
 Would you like a photo?
 Text Message
 Send

 oo Verizon
 9:06 AM
 ィ。
 78%
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Would you like a photo?
 Sister
 YES
 What the actual fuck
 Sister
 Text Message
 Send

 oo Verizon
 12:35 PM
 8 73%
 Messages Mom
 Details
 Today 12:34 PM
 Oh, and BTW, I dug up the
 carcass and took it to our vet
 and it didn't have a chip in it.
 Because it's a rabbit. DO NOT
 tell the world about this.
 Message
 A S D F G H J K L
 123
 space
 return
roaringstream:

thecommonchick:

THIS IS TOO MUCH 💀😂

“Do NOT tell the world about this”200,000 notes

roaringstream: thecommonchick: THIS IS TOO MUCH 💀😂 “Do NOT tell the world about this”200,000 notes