techno viking
techno viking

techno viking

sam bradford
sam bradford

sam bradford

Vikings Memes
Vikings Memes

Vikings Memes

technoviking
technoviking

technoviking

Laundry Meme
Laundry Meme

Laundry Meme

vikings meme
 vikings meme

vikings meme

Viking Meme
Viking Meme

Viking Meme

St Louis Rams Memes
St Louis Rams Memes

St Louis Rams Memes

Techno Viking Gif
Techno Viking Gif

Techno Viking Gif

Defensive
Defensive

Defensive

🔥 | Latest

Viking: avpcentral: Viking Dual Axe Predator by Ronniesolano on DevianArt
Viking: avpcentral:



Viking Dual Axe Predator by Ronniesolano on DevianArt

avpcentral: Viking Dual Axe Predator by Ronniesolano on DevianArt

Viking: rainbow-femme: smatter: otto-mandias: corseque: poplitealqueen: tuulikki: heathyr: legalizememes: bruh everything about this… this statue, the choppy waves, the cliffs behind her, the echo, the drumming….. aesthetic Lyrics in Faroese: Trøllabundin eri eg eri egGaldramaður festi meg festi megTrøllabundin djúpt í míni sál í míni sálÍ hjartanum logar brennandi bál brennandi bál Trøllabundin eri eg eri egGaldramaður festi meg festi megTrøllabundin inn í hjartarót í hjartarótEyga mítt festist har ið galdramaður stóð English translation: Spellbound am I, am IThe wizard has enchanted me, enchanted meSpellbound deep in my soul, in my soulIn my heart burns a smouldering fire, smouldering fire Spellbound am I, am IThe wizard has enchanted me, enchanted meSpellbound in my heart’s root, my heart’s root Did anyone else just get the shivers? Cuz I’m definitely getting the shivers. Btdubs, the singer is Eivør Pálsdóttir. Reblogging again for the haunting wizard lyrics shoutout to the faroe island for being the only real viking island left I know the islands are owned by Denmark but this reminds me so much of Iceland Fun fact this woman is trying to single handedly preserve this kind of singing in her culture by performing and making people aware of it because it’s been fading with time and she’s afraid if she doesn’t spread it it will disappear and be lost to future generations
Viking: rainbow-femme:
smatter:

otto-mandias:

corseque:

poplitealqueen:

tuulikki:

heathyr:

legalizememes:
bruh
everything about this… this statue, the choppy waves, the cliffs behind her, the echo, the drumming….. aesthetic


Lyrics in Faroese:
Trøllabundin eri eg eri egGaldramaður festi meg festi megTrøllabundin djúpt í míni sál í míni sálÍ hjartanum logar brennandi bál brennandi bál
Trøllabundin eri eg eri egGaldramaður festi meg festi megTrøllabundin inn í hjartarót í hjartarótEyga mítt festist har ið galdramaður stóð
English translation:
Spellbound am I, am IThe wizard has enchanted me, enchanted meSpellbound deep in my soul, in my soulIn my heart burns a smouldering fire, smouldering fire
Spellbound am I, am IThe wizard has enchanted me, enchanted meSpellbound in my heart’s root, my heart’s root

Did anyone else just get the shivers? Cuz I’m definitely getting the shivers.

Btdubs, the singer is Eivør Pálsdóttir.


Reblogging again for the haunting wizard lyrics

shoutout to the faroe island for being the only real viking island left


I know the islands are owned by Denmark but this reminds me so much of Iceland


Fun fact this woman is trying to single handedly preserve this kind of singing in her culture by performing and making people aware of it because it’s been fading with time and she’s afraid if she doesn’t spread it it will disappear and be lost to future generations

rainbow-femme: smatter: otto-mandias: corseque: poplitealqueen: tuulikki: heathyr: legalizememes: bruh everything about this… this...

Viking: Lotange My daughter fell asleep in the cart at the grocery store last night and she totally looked like a fallen viking warrior being sent out to sea.
Viking: Lotange
My daughter fell asleep in the cart at the grocery store last night and she totally looked like a fallen viking warrior being sent out to sea.

My daughter fell asleep in the cart at the grocery store last night and she totally looked like a fallen viking warrior being sent out to...

Viking: Lotange My daughter fell asleep in the cart at the grocery store last night and she totally looked like a fallen viking warrior being sent out to sea.
Viking: Lotange
My daughter fell asleep in the cart at the grocery store last night and she totally looked like a fallen viking warrior being sent out to sea.

My daughter fell asleep in the cart at the grocery store last night and she totally looked like a fallen viking warrior being sent out to...

Viking: The Vikings would give kittens to newlywed brides as an essential part of a new household. Ultrafacts.tumblr.com howdidthisevenhappenanyway: ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Source More Facts Yes this could have to do with the fact that Freya the Norse Goddess of love, beauty and fertility drove a chariot pulled by cats. So, if I ever get married, I fully expect a catmobile.  One of the other reasons why they gave cats to each other was for their valuable skills as mousers. Cats were able to control rodent populations around their properties. Also, Norse myths are thought to have the earliest literary descriptions of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They were described as large, strong cats that drew Freya’s chariot and were so heavy that not even Thor, God of Thunder, could lift them from the floor. (Source) They kinda live up to the legend, too. Your average Norwegian Forest Cat is twenty pounds of solid muscle, with claws large and strong enough to climb solid rock. They’ve been known to attack bears when defending their territory. And yet they’re one of the cuddliest breeds out there, particularly noted for being patient with small children. I have a Norwegian mix, and can attest that she is the cuddliest cat but also insane enough to try and fight a bear. Viking cats “FIGHT ME” Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, still could not lift this cat. I always love it when this post comes round because a) giant kitties who Thor can’t lift and b) that picture omg boar riding and flower throwing is a good thing
Viking: The Vikings would give kittens to
 newlywed brides as an essential
 part of a new household.
 Ultrafacts.tumblr.com
howdidthisevenhappenanyway:
ninety6tears:

roguetelemetry:


nekoama:


prokopetz:


ultrafacts:

bryarly:

foxfairy5:

ultrafacts:

Source More Facts

Yes this could have to do with the fact that Freya the Norse Goddess of love, beauty and fertility drove a chariot pulled by cats.

So, if I ever get married, I fully expect a catmobile. 

One of the other reasons why they gave cats to each other was for their valuable skills as mousers. Cats were able to control rodent populations around their properties.
Also, Norse myths are thought to have the earliest literary descriptions of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They were described as large, strong cats that drew Freya’s chariot and were so heavy that not even Thor, God of Thunder, could lift them from the floor. (Source)

They kinda live up to the legend, too. Your average Norwegian Forest Cat is twenty pounds of solid muscle, with claws large and strong enough to climb solid rock. They’ve been known to attack bears when defending their territory. And yet they’re one of the cuddliest breeds out there, particularly noted for being patient with small children.


I have a Norwegian mix, and can attest that she is the cuddliest cat but also insane enough to try and fight a bear.


Viking cats “FIGHT ME”


Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, still could not lift this cat.


I always love it when this post comes round because a) giant kitties who Thor can’t lift and b) that picture omg boar riding and flower throwing is a good thing

howdidthisevenhappenanyway: ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Sour...

Viking: بوكسيلوس SPLUS Ma A 83INT 14th century Chinese explorer Zheng He's ship compared to Columbus's. deducecanoe: ourobousfamilia: deducecanoe: chickwithmonkey: potootagath: wingleader: wakeupslaves: the-goddamazon: LOL man. never forget white people did nothing first neither the best, they sleep and eat false propaganda, Ugh, why the shit does that have to turn into a race thing? Why does EVERYTHING have to turn into a race thing? because white people have made sure that everything is about race as proved by the fact that when you say explorer, you think of a bunch of white guys walking the world and discovering it ~exotic wonders~ even though Zheng He travelled through Asia, to the Middle East, and even East Africa. But you’d likely never heard of him before. Same reason you never heard of Ahmad Ibn Fadlan, an Arab traveller who, as early as the 10th century, went to the Volga area for diplomatic reasons. He wrote about it, much as Marco Polo would do later for his own travels, and is one of our sources on what viking were like (and by all accounts, he wrote about them more accurately than western scholars of the same period did) Oh, or Ibn Battuta who travelled throughout Africa long before europeans did, and even went to Europe himself. And that’s just some example of Muslim medieval travel writers Everything is about race because white people keep telling everyone that their race is the only one who every got anything done. i have heard of precisely zero non-european explorers ever in my life, and that fucking sucks. this exhibit is amazing and i need to learn more. That boat is a frickin aircraft carrier comparatively. Holy crap. And no. Never heard a peep. Zhenghe went to over 40 countries in Asia and Africa and probably went even further, but I didn’t encounter that in history books before. He brought gifts from China to every country he went to and everyone loved him. It was just like “Hey, I’m here with a water-helicarrier and a gift,” and the kings of every country were lilke “holy shit son well here have a giraffe.” There are paintings depicting him leading a giraffe as well. Check him out guys, he’s really cool That is so awesome. Fuck western history. This is the real shit.
Viking: بوكسيلوس
 SPLUS
 Ma
 A
 83INT
 14th century Chinese explorer Zheng He's
 ship compared to Columbus's.
deducecanoe:
ourobousfamilia:

deducecanoe:

chickwithmonkey:

potootagath:

wingleader:

wakeupslaves:

the-goddamazon:

LOL man.

never forget white people did nothing first neither the best, they sleep and eat false propaganda,

Ugh, why the shit does that have to turn into a race thing? Why does EVERYTHING have to turn into a race thing?

because white people have made sure that everything is about race
as proved by the fact that when you say explorer, you think of a bunch of white guys walking the world and discovering it ~exotic wonders~ even though Zheng He travelled through Asia, to the Middle East, and even East Africa. But you’d likely never heard of him before.
Same reason you never heard of Ahmad Ibn Fadlan, an Arab traveller who, as early as the 10th century, went to the Volga area for diplomatic reasons. He wrote about it, much as Marco Polo would do later for his own travels, and is one of our sources on what viking were like (and by all accounts, he wrote about them more accurately than western scholars of the same period did)
Oh, or Ibn Battuta who travelled throughout Africa long before europeans did, and even went to Europe himself.
And that’s just some example of Muslim medieval travel writers
Everything is about race because white people keep telling everyone that their race is the only one who every got anything done.

i have heard of precisely zero non-european explorers ever in my life, and that fucking sucks. this exhibit is amazing and i need to learn more.

That boat is a frickin aircraft carrier comparatively. Holy crap. And no. Never heard a peep.

Zhenghe went to over 40 countries in Asia and Africa and probably went even further, but I didn’t encounter that in history books before. He brought gifts from China to every country he went to and everyone loved him. It was just like “Hey, I’m here with a water-helicarrier and a gift,” and the kings of every country were lilke “holy shit son well here have a giraffe.” There are paintings depicting him leading a giraffe as well. Check him out guys, he’s really cool

That is so awesome. Fuck western history. This is the real shit.

deducecanoe: ourobousfamilia: deducecanoe: chickwithmonkey: potootagath: wingleader: wakeupslaves: the-goddamazon: LOL man. never...

Viking: KNOW YOLR RUNES U IS FOR LIS FOR URUZ LAGUZ HEALTH, STRENGTH, WATER BIRTH VIGOR & HEALING BIRTH 0F A VENTURE OR PHYSICAL BIRTH VANN STRYKE, HELSE FODSEL RUNE 2 of 12 RUNE 1 of 12 TIS FOR K IS FOR KENNZ FIRE, PH YSICAL ICE, TIME OF RESPITE PASSION OR STAGN ATION LIDENSKAP BRANN ICE PUSTEROM RUNE 3 12 RUNE 4 of 12 S IS FOR O IS FOR OTHNLN VICTORY, SUCCESS ANCESTRAL LAND, HOME, FAMILY UNITY OF AN ENDEAVOR BARNDOSHJEM, SEIER TRIUMPF FAMILIENS ENHET RUNE 6 of 12 RUNE 5 of 12 E IS FOR D IS FOR Y EVHNZ DNGNZ PROTECTION ABSOLUTE BALANCE FROM EVIL BETWEEN OPPOSITE S, PARARDOX BESKYTTELSE BALANSERE RUNE 8 of 12 RUNE 7 of 12 T IS FOR P IS FOR TWNZ PETHRO JUSTICE FATE DESTINY RETTFERDIGHET SK JEBNE, FORSYN GUDDOMMELIG RUNE 10 of 12 RUNE 9 of 12 G IS FOR N IS FOR NNUD1Z KEBO GIFTS NEED DESIRE BORN WITH OR GIVEN TRENGER ONSKE GAVE, MEDFØDTE RUNE 12 af 12 RUNE 11 of 12 X herbwicc: plantanarchy: herbwicc: viking-illustrator: darkwolfwitch: witt-craft: Runes! This was an assignment to create a set of flashcards that would appeal to kids and adults for my Type 1 class. They each have the rune symbol, the name of the rune, the meaning in English, the meaning (roughly translated by google, thanks google) in Norwegian, and a little icon I made. I made the big rune characters, but the display font is Comic Runes by takuminokami on Font Space (thanks internet). The cards are 3 inches by 4.5 inches.  Also please don’t yell at me if the meanings of these are wrong, my research was not particularly scholarly. (Once again, thanks internet :p)  Sweet, what a nifty little guide This is such a cool idea! Awesome! Quick question: are runes part of a closed culture? No, these runes here are the Elder Futhark, used as a writing system in the area that would be Scandinavia/Northern Germanic region. The names are Proto-Germanic reconstructions, so yeah, the culture that used these are very very dead. Similar runes were used by the Anglo-Saxons and the Vikings (the Anglo-Saxons added a bunch of runes and the Vikings used less runes and some different ones and this was centuries later). The reason we know the “meanings” and names of the runes at all is because of a handful of rune poems that were initially used as mnemonic devices to remember them. The actual system of divination and magic via Elder Futhark runes is very modern and goes back to ~the 60s I believe? There’s some archeological evidence that runes may have been used for more than just a writing system, and the Havamal (old important morality poem for heathens) mentions that Odin hung on the world tree and sacrificed himself to himself and returned with knowledge of the runes. It also discusses that runes can be used for magic (though it doesn’t get into which runes or how to do the magic).So, to me personally, it does seem a bit weird to use the runes as just another divination tool without using them in context of the spiritual/religious paradigm they are connected to, but there are a lot of people that do and seem to have success with it. And I’d be cautious with getting into using them unless you’re willing to suddenly have Northern Germanic gods busting down your door whether you like it or not. Though feeling a pull toward the runes in general may mean they already have you. Good to know, thank you :)
Viking: KNOW
 YOLR
 RUNES

 U IS FOR
 LIS FOR
 URUZ
 LAGUZ
 HEALTH, STRENGTH,
 WATER
 BIRTH
 VIGOR & HEALING
 BIRTH 0F A VENTURE
 OR PHYSICAL BIRTH
 VANN
 STRYKE, HELSE
 FODSEL
 RUNE 2 of 12
 RUNE 1 of 12
 TIS FOR
 K IS FOR
 KENNZ
 FIRE, PH YSICAL
 ICE, TIME
 OF RESPITE
 PASSION
 OR STAGN ATION
 LIDENSKAP
 BRANN
 ICE
 PUSTEROM
 RUNE 3 12
 RUNE 4 of 12

 S IS FOR
 O IS FOR
 OTHNLN
 VICTORY, SUCCESS
 ANCESTRAL LAND,
 HOME, FAMILY UNITY
 OF AN ENDEAVOR
 BARNDOSHJEM,
 SEIER
 TRIUMPF
 FAMILIENS ENHET
 RUNE 6 of 12
 RUNE 5 of 12
 E IS FOR
 D IS FOR
 Y
 EVHNZ
 DNGNZ
 PROTECTION
 ABSOLUTE BALANCE
 FROM EVIL
 BETWEEN OPPOSITE S,
 PARARDOX
 BESKYTTELSE
 BALANSERE
 RUNE 8 of 12
 RUNE 7 of 12

 T IS FOR
 P IS FOR
 TWNZ
 PETHRO
 JUSTICE
 FATE
 DESTINY
 RETTFERDIGHET
 SK JEBNE,
 FORSYN
 GUDDOMMELIG
 RUNE 10 of 12
 RUNE 9 of 12
 G IS FOR
 N IS FOR
 NNUD1Z
 KEBO
 GIFTS
 NEED
 DESIRE
 BORN WITH
 OR GIVEN
 TRENGER
 ONSKE
 GAVE, MEDFØDTE
 RUNE 12 af 12
 RUNE 11 of 12
 X
herbwicc:

plantanarchy:

herbwicc:
viking-illustrator:

darkwolfwitch:

witt-craft:

Runes! This was an assignment to create a set of flashcards that would appeal to kids and adults for my Type 1 class. They each have the rune symbol, the name of the rune, the meaning in English, the meaning (roughly translated by google, thanks google) in Norwegian, and a little icon I made. I made the big rune characters, but the display font is Comic Runes by takuminokami on Font Space (thanks internet). The cards are 3 inches by 4.5 inches. 
Also please don’t yell at me if the meanings of these are wrong, my research was not particularly scholarly. (Once again, thanks internet :p) 


Sweet, what a nifty little guide


This is such a cool idea!


Awesome! Quick question: are runes part of a closed culture? 

No, these runes here are the Elder Futhark, used as a writing system in the area that would be Scandinavia/Northern Germanic region. The names are Proto-Germanic reconstructions, so yeah, the culture that used these are very very dead. Similar runes were used by the Anglo-Saxons and the Vikings (the Anglo-Saxons added a bunch of runes and the Vikings used less runes and some different ones and this was centuries later). The reason we know the “meanings” and names of the runes at all is because of a handful of rune poems that were initially used as mnemonic devices to remember them. The actual system of divination and magic via Elder Futhark runes is very modern and goes back to ~the 60s I believe? There’s some archeological evidence that runes may have been used for more than just a writing system, and the Havamal (old important morality poem for heathens) mentions that Odin hung on the world tree and sacrificed himself to himself and returned with knowledge of the runes. It also discusses that runes can be used for magic (though it doesn’t get into which runes or how to do the magic).So, to me personally, it does seem a bit weird to use the runes as just another divination tool without using them in context of the spiritual/religious paradigm they are connected to, but there are a lot of people that do and seem to have success with it. And I’d be cautious with getting into using them unless you’re willing to suddenly have Northern Germanic gods busting down your door whether you like it or not. Though feeling a pull toward the runes in general may mean they already have you.

Good to know, thank you :)

herbwicc: plantanarchy: herbwicc: viking-illustrator: darkwolfwitch: witt-craft: Runes! This was an assignment to create a set of fl...

Viking: teen wolf season 1: werewolves exist, weakened by wolfsbane, they are strongest at the full moon, exist in packs with Alphas, Betas and Omegas, and a bite or a scratch turns humans into them me: OK yeah classic werewolf lore season 2: ok turns out werewolves can resurrect from the fucking dead using moonlight and their own beta. oh and werewolves can turn into giant lizard men with paralytic venom if the human was a dick alright, a lot weirder but I can handle thi- me: wha season 3: [slurring] yeah so werewolf twins can fuse their bodies together like voltron to become a bigger wolf...but ONLY if they're shirtless. Also wolves can store memories in their claws. me: wtf this is getting pretty wei- season 4: if if - if your throat gets fatally slashed by a werewolf [burps] that doesn't mean that you'll actually die. You could actually be turned into a were-jaguar and control Viking bersekers for some [hiccups] fucking reason. also were-jaguars can can magically just freaking de-age adults into teenagers somehow and we'll never explain why me: jesus christ that is the stupi- season 5: [barely intelligible] when a human slurps rainwater from a regular wolf's footprint, he'll transform.... me: oh that's actually great, back to the classic lor- season 5: into this humungous eight foot tall cgi beast of a werewolf made out of fucking shadows that can only be killed by a spear tempered with his French sister's blood me: go home Jeff Davis you drunk You can actually see where the showrunners’ ideas start to get worse and worse
Viking: teen wolf season 1: werewolves exist, weakened by
 wolfsbane, they are strongest at the full moon, exist
 in packs with Alphas, Betas and Omegas, and a bite
 or a scratch turns humans into them
 me: OK yeah classic werewolf lore
 season 2: ok turns out werewolves can resurrect
 from the fucking dead using moonlight and their
 own beta. oh and werewolves can turn into giant
 lizard men with paralytic venom if the human was a
 dick
 alright, a lot weirder but I can handle thi-
 me: wha
 season 3: [slurring] yeah so werewolf twins can fuse
 their bodies together like voltron to become a bigger
 wolf...but ONLY if they're shirtless. Also wolves can
 store memories in their claws.
 me: wtf this is getting pretty wei-
 season 4: if if - if your throat gets fatally slashed
 by a werewolf [burps] that doesn't mean that you'll
 actually die. You could actually be turned into a
 were-jaguar and control Viking bersekers for some
 [hiccups]
 fucking reason. also were-jaguars can
 can magically just freaking de-age adults into
 teenagers somehow and we'll never explain why
 me: jesus christ that is the stupi-
 season 5: [barely intelligible] when a human slurps
 rainwater from a regular wolf's footprint, he'll
 transform....
 me: oh that's actually great, back to the classic lor-
 season 5: into this humungous eight foot tall cgi
 beast of a werewolf made out of fucking shadows
 that can only be killed by a spear tempered with his
 French sister's blood
 me: go home Jeff Davis you drunk
You can actually see where the showrunners’ ideas start to get worse and worse

You can actually see where the showrunners’ ideas start to get worse and worse

Viking: lafemmedemon: I GUESS THIS IS SHIELDMAIDEN GLAM™, IDK. Sorry they’re kinda dark. It was twilight, and my room’s dark af to begin with, sooo… I’ve been tagged by so many wonderful ppl, and I know I’ve been a bit MIA, so it means a lot that y’all still tag me! Tagged by: @badassspacewitch (2), @macabremusings (3), @volheimdallr, @theashenone (3), @noctenebula (2), @blacknorthernthunder (2), @the-perksofbeinggrace, @atticgoth, @type-ho-negative, @beatasticband (4), @glimpseofsanity (2), @justsomeartgeek (2), @xochitl-metal, @scarsoftheshatteredsky, @necrofetus-mcgee, @ankinskywalker (8), @gipsyspirits (3), @storm-and-flame (2), @awarmcupofno (2), @morbidmacabremin (2), @runtowaters, @aleksandroskaya (2), @adreamofmirrors, @galactigoth, @fourthorandsevenyearsago, @cyanide-laced (2) (did your url change?), @thedarkchimera, @thenighteternal, @shineonyoucrazydiamond, @melting-sky, @bridgesinthesky, @chubbawubbadubdub, @misshammett (2), @der–untermensch, @vandathielnir, @weapons-of-affection, @vexedminxx (2) (did you change your url?), @mistress-of-doom, @livingdeadgirlmagicx, @deathmentality, @melkor-eligos, and @apollonlight! Woof! I tag you all back plus @royaljellybooty, @brightbeautifulbrilliance, @elixmia, @bloodofheroes, @alan-frogger, @burningbridgesthatdontexist, @forging-towards-the-sunset, @kidzbopcattledecap, @lord-worms-shakespeare-class, @defilementupontheseaofnurnen, @karmic-punishment, @almostlookedhuman, @wizardwinterwolf, @appalachian-viking, @somethingkvlt, and everybody else; you know who you are, tbh. Also, @beatasticband tagged me for a gif specifically, so Merry Christmas:
Viking: lafemmedemon:

I GUESS THIS IS SHIELDMAIDEN GLAM™, IDK. Sorry they’re kinda dark. It was twilight, and my room’s dark af to begin with, sooo…
I’ve been tagged by so many wonderful ppl, and I know I’ve been a bit MIA, so it means a lot that y’all still tag me! Tagged by: @badassspacewitch (2), @macabremusings (3), @volheimdallr, @theashenone (3), @noctenebula (2), @blacknorthernthunder (2), @the-perksofbeinggrace, @atticgoth, @type-ho-negative, @beatasticband (4), @glimpseofsanity (2), @justsomeartgeek (2), @xochitl-metal, @scarsoftheshatteredsky, @necrofetus-mcgee, @ankinskywalker (8), @gipsyspirits (3), @storm-and-flame (2), @awarmcupofno (2), @morbidmacabremin (2), @runtowaters, @aleksandroskaya (2), @adreamofmirrors, @galactigoth, @fourthorandsevenyearsago, @cyanide-laced (2) (did your url change?), @thedarkchimera, @thenighteternal, @shineonyoucrazydiamond, @melting-sky, @bridgesinthesky, @chubbawubbadubdub, @misshammett (2), @der–untermensch, @vandathielnir, @weapons-of-affection, @vexedminxx (2) (did you change your url?), @mistress-of-doom, @livingdeadgirlmagicx, @deathmentality, @melkor-eligos, and @apollonlight!
Woof! I tag you all back plus @royaljellybooty, @brightbeautifulbrilliance, @elixmia, @bloodofheroes, @alan-frogger, @burningbridgesthatdontexist, @forging-towards-the-sunset, @kidzbopcattledecap, @lord-worms-shakespeare-class, @defilementupontheseaofnurnen, @karmic-punishment, @almostlookedhuman, @wizardwinterwolf, @appalachian-viking, @somethingkvlt, and everybody else; you know who you are, tbh.
Also, @beatasticband tagged me for a gif specifically, so Merry Christmas:

lafemmedemon: I GUESS THIS IS SHIELDMAIDEN GLAM™, IDK. Sorry they’re kinda dark. It was twilight, and my room’s dark af to begin with, s...

Viking: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks i dont shit that day next day i fiber myself up even more i dont shit that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore i dont shit the third day >i dont shit the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 si have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss suddenly stops the hole is plugged SOS >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray the rock is shot out of my asshole at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to thee ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting shit bullets out of me solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me blacking out the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the shit isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat after an hour it finally seems to be over sim shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar shakily wipe my ass completely clean feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts gondorcallsforaid.rar I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face If I have to read this, so do you. This is funnier than it should be Omfg
Viking: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg

feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I...