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trauma: what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making THANK YOU I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.” The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents. When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious. God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent “I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.” I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future. Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that. My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad. To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time. It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.
trauma: what-even-is-thiss:

bobcatdump:

jaskiegg:

mellomaia:

aphony-cree:

beyoncescock:

gahdamnpunk:

Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making


THANK YOU

I’ve asked parents about this and they always say they are teaching the child responsibility and “respect for other people’s things.” If I point out that the child accidentally broke their own toy they always say “I bought them that toy” or “my sister gave that to them.”
The problem is that parents view all possessions as not really belonging to the child. A part of them always seems to think that the adult who provided the money is the real owner
If a parent breaks a dish they see it as breaking something that already belonged to them, but if a child breaks it they see it as the child breaking something that belonged to the parents 
People raising children need to realize that household possessions belong to the entire household. If everyone has to use that plate then it belongs to everyone and anyone can have a forgivable accident with it. It’s okay to deem certain possessions as just yours and ask everyone in the house to respect that, but extend the same respect to your child’s belongings

Big mood. I know most of these are talking about little little kids, but here’s a tale from middle school. I had forgotten to charge my phone one night, and this was back when cell phones used to beep loudly when they were low on battery. I kept hearing the noise throughout the afternoon and not recognizing what it was because I’d never heard it before. When I finally did realize what it was, I was in science class and my fellow classmates were making presentations. I reached into my bag to try to turn off the phone, and then the low-battery sound went off, loud enough for the teacher to hear it. She confiscated my phone in front of everyone, and I didn’t get it back until after the weekend because it was a Friday. I was really embarrassed, especially to tell my parents.
When I got my phone back that Monday, my teacher said it was important for me to learn this lesson now since in college they wouldn’t tolerate phones going off. Fast forward to when I was in college, any time someone’s phone went off, either the professor would tell them to turn it off, or they would say, “Oh, my bad,” and turn it off themselves, and everyone would move on. I even had a professor who danced around while someone’s phone went off, and it was a welcome moment of levity during the lecture. 
I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.



God I’ve been reading these posts for a while and each time I am struck with the realization that certainly not all parents were supposed to be a parent

“I say all this to say, one of the worst aspects of being a child/teen was adults assuming my intentions were malicious.”YES this



The problem is, even if families are forgiving the culture around children still effects the child. I use myself as proof of that. 
A few times between the ages of 4 and 18 I broke things. I broke my grandma’s favorite Christmas ornament. Her first question was: “Are you hurt?” and when I apologized profusely she said “I’m just glad you weren’t hurt.”
I broke a few plates. I broke a couple glasses. Every time my dad’s first response was “Did you get cut?” the second step was cleaning up the broken bits, and the third was a discussion of what led to me breaking it and how I could avoid doing that in the future.
Same with spills. Same with stains. My biggest “punishment” from my immediate family was being taught how to clean up the mess I made and being shown in detail how to avoid the same mistake in the future if it was avoidable. There were consequences for my actions, but they were the direct result of those actions and nothing much beyond that.
My family tried so hard to teach me how to deal with accidents in a healthy way. They were patient. They treated every slip-up as a learning opportunity. They showed me a lot of love. The other adults still got to me. Teachers still punished and publicly shamed me and other students for our mess-ups. Extended family members outside of my small supportive circle still yelled at me. My friends’ parents still got mad.
To the point where whenever I messed up my first instinct was that my dad or grandparents were going to punish me, or yell at me, or hit me, even though they never did. They just didn’t. They always responded with patience and an attitude of “I’m glad you’re safe and I want to help you learn from this.” And I was still afraid of messing up. Mortified. Expecting the worst every time.
It’s like… we need to change the culture around this, man. Completely.

what-even-is-thiss: bobcatdump: jaskiegg: mellomaia: aphony-cree: beyoncescock: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychologica...

trauma: math-is-magic: dragonindigo245: Plus like it just gives me anxiety Even without trauma, u can still have fun after 25, gosh.
trauma: math-is-magic:
dragonindigo245:
Plus like it just gives me anxiety
Even without trauma, u can still have fun after 25, gosh.

math-is-magic: dragonindigo245: Plus like it just gives me anxiety Even without trauma, u can still have fun after 25, gosh.

trauma: elllayelich: all the glamour and the trauma and the f*cking melodramaacrylic on recycled plastic / shop / ig
trauma: elllayelich:

all the glamour and the trauma and the f*cking melodramaacrylic on recycled plastic / shop / ig

elllayelich: all the glamour and the trauma and the f*cking melodramaacrylic on recycled plastic / shop / ig

trauma: The Trauma by Rannrann123 MORE MEMES
trauma: The Trauma by Rannrann123
MORE MEMES

The Trauma by Rannrann123 MORE MEMES

trauma: The Trauma
trauma: The Trauma

The Trauma

trauma: gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making
trauma: gahdamnpunk:
Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making

gahdamnpunk: Honestly!!! This is just psychological trauma in the making

trauma: mighty-meerkat: bundibird: kaldicuct: vaporwavevocap: draconic-duelist: ranty9000: askshadetrixieandfamily: real-life-pine-tree: oddeyesarcpendulumdragon: based on a true story I don’t think Fortnite is to blame for kids nowadays not reading… That’s the joke. It’s the authoritarian overbearing parent. He was being sarcastic lol Reminded me of these That violin one hit close to home. I remember doing homework once, asked my grandmother if she was proud of me. “Do some thing for me to be proud of.” That hurt. That comic up there – I witnessed almost that exact scenario. Teacher wanted the kids to all pick books. One kid spots something on the shelf and gets visibly excited. Pulls it out and starts reading. Teacher sees it, snatches it off him and tells him that this is a book for 8 year olds (the kid was 15ish) and tells him to get a book more appropriate for his age. Kid slouches around the shelves for about 10 minutes, finally picks up a book at random and sits in his chair tucking the edges of each page into the binding to make that looped-page look. He didn’t read a word. He sat there and did this to his book for the remainder of the reading session: He had been genuinely excited about the 8 year old book he’d picked up. It was a new one in a series he used to read as a younger kid. He’d been actively sitting and reading, and then he was embarrassed in front of his classmates, told off for reading a kids book, and voila. He lost all enthusiasm for reading anything else that day. What’s worse? That kid had been hit by a car like a year and a half earlier. Severe brain trauma. Had to re-learn a lot of basic things, like how to speak and how to read. An 8 year old book would have been perfect for him. Easy enough to read that it would have helped rebuild his confidence in his own reading ability. A book meant for 15/16 years olds? A lot harder to read than a book for 8 year olds. Especially if you’re recovering from a relatively recent brain injury. And yeah, the teacher knew all about his brain injury, and the recovery. He just seemed go be of the opinion that the kid was 15, so he should be reading books for 15 year olds, irrespective of brain injury. Reading this thread I’m reminded of Daniel Pennae’s The Rights of the Reader, which can be found in a lot of bookshops and school libraries:  The child speaking at the bottom in Quentin Blake’s distinctive spiky handwriting is saying ‘10 rights, 1 warning: Don’t make fun of people who don’t read - or they never will’
trauma: mighty-meerkat:
bundibird:

kaldicuct:

vaporwavevocap:

draconic-duelist:

ranty9000:

askshadetrixieandfamily:


real-life-pine-tree:


oddeyesarcpendulumdragon:
based on a true story


I don’t think Fortnite is to blame for kids nowadays not reading…



That’s the joke. It’s the authoritarian overbearing parent.



 He was being sarcastic lol

Reminded me of these

That violin one hit close to home.



I remember doing homework once, asked my grandmother if she was proud of me. “Do some thing for me to be proud of.” That hurt. 



That comic up  there – I witnessed almost that exact scenario. Teacher wanted the kids to all pick books. One kid spots something on the shelf and gets visibly excited. Pulls it out and starts reading. Teacher sees it, snatches it off him and tells him that this is a book for 8 year olds (the kid was 15ish) and tells him to get a book more appropriate for his age. Kid slouches around the shelves for about 10 minutes, finally picks up a book at random and sits in his chair tucking the edges of each page into the binding to make that looped-page look. He didn’t read a word. He sat there and did this to his book for the remainder of the reading session: 
He had been genuinely excited about the 8 year old book he’d picked up. It was a new one in a series he used to read as a younger kid. He’d been actively sitting and reading, and then he was embarrassed in front of his classmates, told off for reading a kids book, and voila. He lost all enthusiasm for reading anything else that day. 
What’s worse? That kid had been hit by a car like a year and a half earlier. Severe brain trauma. Had to re-learn a lot of basic things, like how to speak and how to read.
An 8 year old book would have been perfect for him. Easy enough to read that it would have helped rebuild his confidence in his own reading ability. A book meant for 15/16 years olds? A lot harder to read than a book for 8 year olds. Especially if you’re recovering from a relatively recent brain injury. 
And yeah, the teacher knew all about his brain injury, and the recovery. He just seemed go be of the opinion that the kid was 15, so he should be reading books for 15 year olds, irrespective of brain injury. 

Reading this thread I’m reminded of Daniel Pennae’s The Rights of the Reader, which can be found in a lot of bookshops and school libraries: 
The child speaking at the bottom in Quentin Blake’s distinctive spiky handwriting is saying ‘10 rights, 1 warning: Don’t make fun of people who don’t read - or they never will’

mighty-meerkat: bundibird: kaldicuct: vaporwavevocap: draconic-duelist: ranty9000: askshadetrixieandfamily: real-life-pine-tree:...

trauma: What do you do for self-care? Psychological health Physical health Self-awareness Spirituality What do you already do for self care? What would you like to do more of? What do you need help with? nal health Emotion lace wellnes Workp SELF-CARE WHEEL Psychological Self-awareness Sensory engagement Regul l care zealthy Exercise Self-reflection Therapy Journal Physical Be sexual. Get enough sleep Take vacations Take time off Massages Acupuncture Aromatherapy Draw Paint Go to symphony or ballet Safe housing Relax in the sun Garden Read a self-help book . Join a Bubblebaths Kiss Ask for nurture support group Think about Take a walk Turn off cell phone your positive qualities Practice asking and Get "me" time LIFE receiving help SELF-CARE WHEEL BALANCE Learn who you are Fige at you Short and Long-term Goals lection community Self-cherish Meditate Sing . Dance Play Be inspired Self-refle Make a Vision Board Foster friendships Go on dates Take yoga Play with children Bathe in the ocean Watch sunsets Find spiritual Get coffee witha friend Get out of debt Just relax Write a poem or a book . Spend time Pray Find spiritual mentor Volunteer for a cause with your family Cook out Learn to play guitar Personal Foster self-forgiveness Spiritual inspired by and adapted from "Self-Care Assessment Worksheet" from Transforming the Pain: A Workbook on Vicarious Traumatization by Saakvitne, Pearlman & Staff This Self-Care Wheel was of TSI/CAAP (Norton, 1996). Created by Olga Phoenix Project: Healing for Social Change (2013) Dedicated to all trauma professionals worldwide. www.OlgaPhoenix.com Emotio tional mations .ice essio gement Affir -love l Self- y "I Love You" ovie Cry Socia gh . Sa Laatch a Flirt l obby. Find a Buy yourself Cuddle with your a present pet Tell yourself 1 are e Forgiveness ic Pract and sick da Take all move Take a class ays vacation Plan your days Learn support of collesTake m Get regular Do not work during next career to say NO sion Get ervi mental Leave work at work undaries Do Set your time off not work overtime Take time for lunch Professiona outforhealth: Take care people. 
trauma: What do you do for self-care?
 Psychological health
 Physical health
 Self-awareness
 Spirituality
 What do you already do for self care?
 What would you like to do more of?
 What do you need help with?
 nal health
 Emotion
 lace wellnes
 Workp

 SELF-CARE
 WHEEL
 Psychological
 Self-awareness Sensory engagement
 Regul l care
 zealthy Exercise
 Self-reflection
 Therapy Journal
 Physical
 Be sexual. Get enough sleep
 Take vacations Take time off
 Massages Acupuncture
 Aromatherapy Draw
 Paint Go to symphony or ballet
 Safe housing
 Relax in the sun Garden
 Read a self-help book . Join a
 Bubblebaths Kiss
 Ask for nurture
 support group Think about
 Take a walk Turn off
 cell phone
 your positive qualities
 Practice asking and
 Get "me" time
 LIFE
 receiving help
 SELF-CARE
 WHEEL
 BALANCE
 Learn who you are
 Fige at you
 Short and Long-term Goals
 lection
 community Self-cherish
 Meditate Sing . Dance
 Play Be inspired
 Self-refle
 Make a Vision Board
 Foster friendships Go on dates
 Take yoga Play with children
 Bathe in the ocean Watch sunsets
 Find spiritual
 Get coffee witha friend
 Get out of debt Just relax
 Write a poem or a book . Spend time
 Pray Find spiritual mentor
 Volunteer for a cause
 with your family Cook out
 Learn to play guitar
 Personal
 Foster self-forgiveness
 Spiritual
 inspired by and adapted from "Self-Care Assessment Worksheet"
 from Transforming the Pain: A Workbook on Vicarious Traumatization by Saakvitne, Pearlman & Staff
 This Self-Care Wheel was
 of TSI/CAAP (Norton, 1996). Created by Olga Phoenix Project: Healing for Social Change (2013)
 Dedicated to all trauma professionals worldwide.
 www.OlgaPhoenix.com
 Emotio
 tional
 mations
 .ice essio
 gement
 Affir
 -love
 l
 Self-
 y "I Love You"
 ovie
 Cry Socia
 gh . Sa
 Laatch a
 Flirt
 l
 obby.
 Find a
 Buy yourself
 Cuddle with
 your
 a present
 pet
 Tell yourself
 1 are
 e
 Forgiveness
 ic
 Pract
 and sick da
 Take all
 move Take a class
 ays
 vacation
 Plan your
 days Learn
 support of collesTake m
 Get regular
 Do not work during
 next career
 to say NO
 sion Get
 ervi
 mental
 Leave
 work at work
 undaries Do
 Set
 your time off
 not work overtime
 Take time for lunch
 Professiona
outforhealth:
Take care people. 

outforhealth: Take care people.