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evil toddler

evil toddler

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Sleep

Sleep

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🔥 | Latest

toddler: My Granny has cooked me and my bro “boy cake” since i was a toddler. After 10 years shes decided to upgrade us
toddler: My Granny has cooked me and my bro “boy cake” since i was a toddler. After 10 years shes decided to upgrade us

My Granny has cooked me and my bro “boy cake” since i was a toddler. After 10 years shes decided to upgrade us

toddler: gallusrostromegalus: huggablekaiju: aughtomaton: banyanyabread: elionking: rootbeergoddess: voidbat: callmebliss: rikodeine: ajax-daughter-of-telamon: tastefullyoffensive: (photo via princessmisery) This is a great idea! this is really cool. Kids hate the big plastic keys cos they’re not interesting, they wanna see the things the grownups use all the time I kinda want one of these. DUDE. it’s a giant fucking stim board! GENIUS. This is brilliant  Shit, I might make one of these for myself ^^ This is extremely devopmentally appropriate and smart Hey! They had a thing like this at my preschool, because not only is it a great entertainment center, its also a great tool for teaching toddlers fine motor skills.We also had a board with the fronts of shirts, jackets etc cut out and mounted so we could fool around with and learn how to use buttons, zippers, velcro etc, which meant I was dressing myself pretty early. We also had leftover keyboards, computer mice (sans cables) and a mix and match board of connector cables (bolted down and too short to strangle ourselves with) because I lived in silicon valley in the early 90’s when the tech boom was happening and parents would donate computer stuff for us to fuck around with.Im looking at those gate locks up there and that’s a bit of a bespoke parenting- Dad does run the risk of teaching this toddler how to escape a gated area like the yard, but if the kid isn’t prone to wandering, it’s a good safety thing for him to learn.Some other things to put on a fine motor skills stimboard: doorknobs and handles, switches and buttons (esp of you can wire them up to do something- kids learn patterns way earlier than you might think), window locks and cranks, assorted textures like carpet, fabrics, those reversible sequins, pebbles, sandpaper etc, the tops of jars with different kinds of lids top open and close, and (if you can stand it) anything that makes noises.But pretty much anything that can be fiddled with, changed by touching and is safe to nom on is a good thing.An additional caveat, from my own youth: if the fine motor boards are down at toddler height, dogs, cats, most pet birds and some reptiles will also play with and learn to manipulate these things. Which is also good mental stimulation for them but you can give your animals interesting ideas about what is ok to handle and teach them skills you might not want them to know.
toddler: gallusrostromegalus:

huggablekaiju:

aughtomaton:

banyanyabread:

elionking:

rootbeergoddess:

voidbat:

callmebliss:

rikodeine:

ajax-daughter-of-telamon:

tastefullyoffensive:

(photo via princessmisery)

This is a great idea!

this is really cool. Kids hate the big plastic keys cos they’re not interesting, they wanna see the things the grownups use all the time

I kinda want one of these.

DUDE. it’s a giant fucking stim board! GENIUS.

This is brilliant 

Shit, I might make one of these for myself

^^


This is extremely devopmentally appropriate and smart




Hey! They had a thing like this at my preschool, because not only is it a great entertainment center, its also a great tool for teaching toddlers fine motor skills.We also had a board with the fronts of shirts, jackets etc cut out and mounted so we could fool around with and learn how to use buttons, zippers, velcro etc, which meant I was dressing myself pretty early. We also had leftover keyboards, computer mice (sans cables) and a mix and match board of connector cables (bolted down and too short to strangle ourselves with) because I lived in silicon valley in the early 90’s when the tech boom was happening and parents would donate computer stuff for us to fuck around with.Im looking at those gate locks up there and that’s a bit of a bespoke parenting- Dad does run the risk of teaching this toddler how to escape a gated area like the yard, but if the kid isn’t prone to wandering, it’s a good safety thing for him to learn.Some other things to put on a fine motor skills stimboard: doorknobs and handles, switches and buttons (esp of you can wire them up to do something- kids learn patterns way earlier than you might think), window locks and cranks, assorted textures like carpet, fabrics, those reversible sequins, pebbles, sandpaper etc, the tops of jars with different kinds of lids top open and close, and (if you can stand it) anything that makes noises.But pretty much anything that can be fiddled with, changed by touching and is safe to nom on is a good thing.An additional caveat, from my own youth: if the fine motor boards are down at toddler height, dogs, cats, most pet birds and some reptiles will also play with and learn to manipulate these things.  Which is also good mental stimulation for them but you can give your animals interesting ideas about what is ok to handle and teach them skills you might not want them to know.

gallusrostromegalus: huggablekaiju: aughtomaton: banyanyabread: elionking: rootbeergoddess: voidbat: callmebliss: rikodeine: aja...

toddler: serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die. !!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! That’s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means it’s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this car’s slowing down for them–cars do that sometimes–which means they’re not in imminent danger, so it doesn’t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehog’s still gonna get killed if it doesn’t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehog’s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch. Y’all, Y’ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.  i can’t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always saying “ah yes they have sub-human intelligence and don’t consider anything that isn’t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,” but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstrating compassion. Even if it’s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings, that’s still huge and cool and important and corvids!!! are! neat!!! 
toddler: serialreblogger:
jaubaius:
A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die.
!!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! That’s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means it’s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this car’s slowing down for them–cars do that sometimes–which means they’re not in imminent danger, so it doesn’t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehog’s still gonna get killed if it doesn’t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehog’s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch.
Y’all, Y’ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food. 
i can’t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always saying “ah yes they have sub-human intelligence and don’t consider anything that isn’t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,” but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstrating compassion. Even if it’s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings, that’s still huge and cool and important and corvids!!! are! neat!!! 

serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die. !!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! T...

toddler: Toddler 11.0.1 (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
toddler: Toddler 11.0.1 (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

Toddler 11.0.1 (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

toddler: Toddler 11.0.1 by jamestheman45 MORE MEMES
toddler: Toddler 11.0.1 by jamestheman45
MORE MEMES

Toddler 11.0.1 by jamestheman45 MORE MEMES

toddler: Toddler 11.0.1
toddler: Toddler 11.0.1

Toddler 11.0.1

toddler: portentous-offerings: pg-chan: serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die. !!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! That’s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means it’s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this car’s slowing down for them–cars do that sometimes–which means they’re not in imminent danger, so it doesn’t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehog’s still gonna get killed if it doesn’t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehog’s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch. Y’all, Y’ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food.  i can’t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always saying “ah yes they have sub-human intelligence and don’t consider anything that isn’t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,” but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstrating compassion. Even if it’s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings, that’s still huge and cool and important and corvids!!! are! neat!!!  Also, by the car stopping for them, that hedgehog has two other species actively working to help it stay alive for no gain of their own.  Reminds me of that professor who said the beginning of civilization was when someone took care of another. The broken thigh bone thing. “Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts. We are at our best when we serve others.” - Margaret Mead
toddler: portentous-offerings:

pg-chan:

serialreblogger:

jaubaius:
A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die.
!!! ok but that’s legitimately what it’s doing!! That’s a corvid right there (looks like a hooded crow, to be precise), which means it’s intelligent enough to recognize, a) cars are dangerous and streets should be treated with a certain degree of caution, b) this car’s slowing down for them–cars do that sometimes–which means they’re not in imminent danger, so it doesn’t have to fly away just yet, c) that hedgehog’s still gonna get killed if it doesn’t MOVE, FAST (cars can change speed very quickly and the hedgehog’s still in the way), and almost certainly also d) if the bird does nothing it gets a free lunch.
Y’all, Y’ALL. This bird is consciously deciding to put itself in danger in order to save the life of a very stupid creature. A creature which, if the bird did nothing, could be free food. 
i can’t - look if you follow me you know I have a thing for corvids, but this is - like!!! People are always saying “ah yes they have sub-human intelligence and don’t consider anything that isn’t immediately necessary for their own survival/pleasure,” but! Whether or not it can do philosophy, this crow is clearly demonstrating compassion. Even if it’s just the kind of compassion a toddler shows to a snail, a social creature that instinctively recognizes the potential for emotion in other beings, that’s still huge and cool and important and corvids!!! are! neat!!! 

Also, by the car stopping for them, that hedgehog has two other species actively working to help it stay alive for no gain of their own. 



Reminds me of that professor who said the beginning of civilization was when someone took care of another. The broken thigh bone thing.
“Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts. We are at our best when we serve others.” - Margaret Mead

portentous-offerings: pg-chan: serialreblogger: jaubaius: A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die. !!! ok but that’...

toddler: malditamigs: ★】~Artist’s website | もとびOH MY GOODNESS!! THIS IS SO CUTE!!! Reminds me of the Toddler Tizzy… ❤️❤️❤️
toddler: malditamigs:

★】~Artist’s website | もとびOH MY GOODNESS!! THIS IS SO CUTE!!! Reminds me of the Toddler Tizzy… ❤️❤️❤️

malditamigs: ★】~Artist’s website | もとびOH MY GOODNESS!! THIS IS SO CUTE!!! Reminds me of the Toddler Tizzy… ❤️❤️❤️

toddler: My toddler just started using his rolling walker
toddler: My toddler just started using his rolling walker

My toddler just started using his rolling walker

toddler: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
toddler: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

toddler: Turns out, since toddler I belonged to the PCMasterRace.
toddler: Turns out, since toddler I belonged to the PCMasterRace.

Turns out, since toddler I belonged to the PCMasterRace.

toddler: Dog vacuum - How our floor stays clean when out toddler eats
toddler: Dog vacuum - How our floor stays clean when out toddler eats

Dog vacuum - How our floor stays clean when out toddler eats

toddler: Saw this while my toddler was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and figured it'd be appropriate for "printing money" memes. There's also a bike pump 5 minutes later, lol.
toddler: Saw this while my toddler was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and figured it'd be appropriate for "printing money" memes. There's also a bike pump 5 minutes later, lol.

Saw this while my toddler was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and figured it'd be appropriate for "printing money" memes. There's also a...

toddler: Looks like it’s gunna be a while before my toddler can play with this...
toddler: Looks like it’s gunna be a while before my toddler can play with this...

Looks like it’s gunna be a while before my toddler can play with this...

toddler: Evil Scheming Toddler
toddler: Evil Scheming Toddler

Evil Scheming Toddler

toddler: lifepro-tips: Toddler Off-White & Custom Yeezy Sneaker Review | Rare Toddler Sneakers | Air Force 1 | Yeezy 350 V2 - YouTube
toddler: lifepro-tips:
Toddler Off-White & Custom Yeezy Sneaker Review | Rare Toddler Sneakers | Air Force 1 | Yeezy 350 V2 - YouTube

lifepro-tips: Toddler Off-White & Custom Yeezy Sneaker Review | Rare Toddler Sneakers | Air Force 1 | Yeezy 350 V2 - YouTube

toddler: lifepro-tips: Toddler Off-White & Custom Yeezy Sneaker Review | Rare Toddler Sneakers | Air Force 1 | Yeezy 350 V2 - YouTube
toddler: lifepro-tips:
Toddler Off-White & Custom Yeezy Sneaker Review | Rare Toddler Sneakers | Air Force 1 | Yeezy 350 V2 - YouTube

lifepro-tips: Toddler Off-White & Custom Yeezy Sneaker Review | Rare Toddler Sneakers | Air Force 1 | Yeezy 350 V2 - YouTube

toddler: lifepro-tips: Toddler Off-White & Custom Yeezy Sneaker Review | Rare Toddler Sneakers | Air Force 1 | Yeezy 350 V2 - YouTube
toddler: lifepro-tips:
Toddler Off-White & Custom Yeezy Sneaker Review | Rare Toddler Sneakers | Air Force 1 | Yeezy 350 V2 - YouTube

lifepro-tips: Toddler Off-White & Custom Yeezy Sneaker Review | Rare Toddler Sneakers | Air Force 1 | Yeezy 350 V2 - YouTube

toddler: Just noticed a “Fedora” section on OrientalTrading when I was getting toddler craft supplies. Looks like they’ve thought hard about their target audience.
toddler: Just noticed a “Fedora” section on OrientalTrading when I was getting toddler craft supplies. Looks like they’ve thought hard about their target audience.

Just noticed a “Fedora” section on OrientalTrading when I was getting toddler craft supplies. Looks like they’ve thought hard about their...

toddler: When I give my toddler crayons
toddler: When I give my toddler crayons

When I give my toddler crayons

toddler: Found while looking for toddler games. Wtf Amazon?!
toddler: Found while looking for toddler games. Wtf Amazon?!

Found while looking for toddler games. Wtf Amazon?!

toddler: How to see that your toddler has graffiti on the walls again
toddler: How to see that your toddler has graffiti on the walls again

How to see that your toddler has graffiti on the walls again

toddler: Someone should tell him nobody's going to look at a electronic check. Toddler.
toddler: Someone should tell him nobody's going to look at a electronic check. Toddler.

Someone should tell him nobody's going to look at a electronic check. Toddler.

toddler: When I tell my toddler to sit down in the bathtub
toddler: When I tell my toddler to sit down in the bathtub

When I tell my toddler to sit down in the bathtub

toddler: Young BTS fan gets bullied by toddler. [Circa 2015]
toddler: Young BTS fan gets bullied by toddler. [Circa 2015]

Young BTS fan gets bullied by toddler. [Circa 2015]

toddler: Gay erotica... gay erotica... gay erotica... teaching toddler to ride a bike... gay erotica... gay erotica...
toddler: Gay erotica... gay erotica... gay erotica... teaching toddler to ride a bike... gay erotica... gay erotica...

Gay erotica... gay erotica... gay erotica... teaching toddler to ride a bike... gay erotica... gay erotica...

toddler: My 11 year old border collie, Bo, jumping for the bubbles my toddler is blowing.
toddler: My 11 year old border collie, Bo, jumping for the bubbles my toddler is blowing.

My 11 year old border collie, Bo, jumping for the bubbles my toddler is blowing.

toddler: guys im lack toes in toddler ants
toddler: guys im lack toes in toddler ants

guys im lack toes in toddler ants

toddler: Toddler amirite
toddler: Toddler amirite

Toddler amirite

toddler: 60 pound hound dog vs a toddler chair
toddler: 60 pound hound dog vs a toddler chair

60 pound hound dog vs a toddler chair

toddler: On a video where a toddler hugs a pizza man ;-;
toddler: On a video where a toddler hugs a pizza man ;-;

On a video where a toddler hugs a pizza man ;-;

toddler: My pupper getting some rest in the sun while my toddler sleeps.
toddler: My pupper getting some rest in the sun while my toddler sleeps.

My pupper getting some rest in the sun while my toddler sleeps.

toddler: I can’t go to the toy store, so I’ve been coming up with creative solutions to keep my toddler entertained.
toddler: I can’t go to the toy store, so I’ve been coming up with creative solutions to keep my toddler entertained.

I can’t go to the toy store, so I’ve been coming up with creative solutions to keep my toddler entertained.

toddler: I can’t go to the toy store, so I’ve been coming up with creative solutions to keep my toddler entertained.
toddler: I can’t go to the toy store, so I’ve been coming up with creative solutions to keep my toddler entertained.

I can’t go to the toy store, so I’ve been coming up with creative solutions to keep my toddler entertained.

toddler: I can’t go to the toy store, so I’ve been coming up with creative solutions to keep my toddler entertained.
toddler: I can’t go to the toy store, so I’ve been coming up with creative solutions to keep my toddler entertained.

I can’t go to the toy store, so I’ve been coming up with creative solutions to keep my toddler entertained.

toddler: Someone's not amused with the toddler in her bed.
toddler: Someone's not amused with the toddler in her bed.

Someone's not amused with the toddler in her bed.

toddler: I wish you never had to say no to a toddler
toddler: I wish you never had to say no to a toddler

I wish you never had to say no to a toddler

toddler: Just got the Hogwarts Express running today, then the toddler dropped it
toddler: Just got the Hogwarts Express running today, then the toddler dropped it

Just got the Hogwarts Express running today, then the toddler dropped it

toddler: Here's a toddler with the vocabulary skills of an adult, apparently
toddler: Here's a toddler with the vocabulary skills of an adult, apparently

Here's a toddler with the vocabulary skills of an adult, apparently

toddler: Saw this itty bitty toddler bike left at the park, it's shorter than my knee
toddler: Saw this itty bitty toddler bike left at the park, it's shorter than my knee

Saw this itty bitty toddler bike left at the park, it's shorter than my knee

toddler: No Sir I would prefer the toddler in the corner to style my hair today. Yes the one with the safety scissors.
toddler: No Sir I would prefer the toddler in the corner to style my hair today. Yes the one with the safety scissors.

No Sir I would prefer the toddler in the corner to style my hair today. Yes the one with the safety scissors.

toddler: Parenting tip: Don’t ever call a toddler a villain. This was my son’s reaction...story/text
toddler: Parenting tip: Don’t ever call a toddler a villain. This was my son’s reaction...story/text

Parenting tip: Don’t ever call a toddler a villain. This was my son’s reaction...story/text

toddler: He put this on to encourage hat wearing by toddler. Then forgot about it and it stayed on his head til we got home.
toddler: He put this on to encourage hat wearing by toddler. Then forgot about it and it stayed on his head til we got home.

He put this on to encourage hat wearing by toddler. Then forgot about it and it stayed on his head til we got home.

toddler: Looks like lies isn't the the only thing they taught this toddler
toddler: Looks like lies isn't the the only thing they taught this toddler

Looks like lies isn't the the only thing they taught this toddler

toddler: Toddler says that “why does the toy shop preach lies!”
toddler: Toddler says that “why does the toy shop preach lies!”

Toddler says that “why does the toy shop preach lies!”

toddler: Smashed my boys head in 20 inch concrete for being supposedly homosexual after looking at another toddler
toddler: Smashed my boys head in 20 inch concrete for being supposedly homosexual after looking at another toddler

Smashed my boys head in 20 inch concrete for being supposedly homosexual after looking at another toddler

toddler: Giving my toddler snacks
toddler: Giving my toddler snacks

Giving my toddler snacks