Let Me Get This Straight
Let Me Get This Straight

Let Me Get This Straight

So Beautiful
So Beautiful

So Beautiful

I Believe
I Believe

I Believe

Daughters
Daughters

Daughters

Fried
Fried

Fried

I Am A
I Am A

I Am A

The Process
The Process

The Process

Johnny
Johnny

Johnny

A Piece Of Toast
A Piece Of Toast

A Piece Of Toast

Eates
Eates

Eates

🔥 | Latest

Apple, Baked, and Fresh: PAIA BAY COFFEE&BAR ALOHA VIBES PAIA MAUI BREAKFAST&LUNCH HAWA ACAI BOWL made in Paia to pped with banana coconut grenola,&honey orliihai 11.50 CAFE FAVO GREEK YOGURT with berries&granola topped wilth honey or ikoi coulis 9.95 HOUSE ORGANIC SCRAMBLED EGGS With local spring mix&salsa 9.95 add avocado (200) HOUSE POUR ORGANIC EGGS&BACON With local spring mix&salsa 11.95add avocado t12e0) ESPRE CAFE VEGA ORGANICEGGS&GOAT CHEESE roasted red peppers, local spring mix&salsa 21.95 CAPP CAFE ORGANIC EGGS&SMOKED SALMON cream cheese, mint lemon maya, spring mix,&alsa 12.95 ORGANICEGGS&AVOCADO SALAD (gluten free/no bread) with litiloi Dijon dressing& salsa .95 ICED DIRT BAGEL SANDWICHES sub a fresh baked croissant (1.sa) HOT MA Ko TOASTED BAGELwith buter 3.50 HO Or FRESH BAKED CROISSANT 4.00 VEGAN BAGEL with pesto, hummus, roasted red peppers, avocada trmat&baby gnens 9.00 TA O CREAM CHEESE&TOMATO BAGEL with pepper. 475 add avecado (200) COCK TURKEY BAGEL with pesto, cream cheese cucumber tomato,&toasted pumpkis seeds 10.45 BACON BAGEL with cream cheese, tomato. avocado,&red onion 9.95 SMOKED SALMON BAGEL with cream cheese, tomato, avocado, red onion&capers 11.00 CROISSANTS Webake our craissants each morning, and usually run out noon, and you can substihutefor toast ora bagel WITH NUTELLA& either bananas or strawberies & ourhouse whip cream. 7.25 FETA CHEESE omato cucumber, local spring mix & Dijon mustard mayo 1095 BACON&BRIE avocado &Dijon mustard mayo. 10.95 SANDWICHES Served on whole grain artisan bread with organic lecal mired greens&chips GOAT CHEESE with olive tapenade, roasted red peppers &localtomata 2145 BRIE &APPLE with local tomato, black pepper, & herb mayo. 1145 TURKEY With bacon, local tomato, & herbmayo. 12.45 TUNA with swiss, local tomato, capers, & wasabi mayo. 12.45 Served with galic crostini& lightly dressed with liliker Dijen dresung WATERMELON&FETA with toasted pumpkin seeds, an organic lecal spring mix 195 SMOKED SALMON with swiss, avocado, local tomato,& wasabinmayo. 1395 TALKING STORY We love Paia! SALADS mission to offer great able, environmentaly nights per week alon We hope you like us come to the countert TUNA SALAD with avocado&capers on organic local spring mix 12.95 GRANDMA BRADY'S BANANA BREAD PLAIN 425 CHOCOLATE CHIP& WALNUT 475 GRILLED BANANA BREAD With whipped cream& raspberries 625 When you get someone from dev to write the menu
Apple, Baked, and Fresh: PAIA BAY
 COFFEE&BAR
 ALOHA VIBES
 PAIA MAUI
 BREAKFAST&LUNCH
 HAWA
 ACAI BOWL made in Paia to pped with banana coconut grenola,&honey orliihai 11.50
 CAFE FAVO
 GREEK YOGURT with berries&granola topped wilth honey or ikoi coulis 9.95
 HOUSE
 ORGANIC SCRAMBLED EGGS With local spring mix&salsa 9.95 add avocado (200)
 HOUSE
 POUR
 ORGANIC EGGS&BACON With local spring mix&salsa 11.95add avocado t12e0)
 ESPRE
 CAFE
 VEGA
 ORGANICEGGS&GOAT CHEESE roasted red peppers, local spring mix&salsa 21.95
 CAPP
 CAFE
 ORGANIC EGGS&SMOKED SALMON cream cheese, mint lemon maya, spring mix,&alsa 12.95
 ORGANICEGGS&AVOCADO SALAD (gluten free/no bread) with litiloi Dijon dressing& salsa .95
 ICED
 DIRT
 BAGEL SANDWICHES sub a fresh baked croissant (1.sa)
 HOT
 MA
 Ko
 TOASTED BAGELwith buter 3.50
 HO
 Or FRESH BAKED CROISSANT 4.00
 VEGAN BAGEL with pesto, hummus, roasted red peppers, avocada trmat&baby gnens 9.00
 TA
 O
 CREAM CHEESE&TOMATO BAGEL with pepper. 475 add avecado (200)
 COCK
 TURKEY BAGEL with pesto, cream cheese cucumber tomato,&toasted pumpkis seeds 10.45
 BACON BAGEL with cream cheese, tomato. avocado,&red onion 9.95
 SMOKED SALMON BAGEL with cream cheese, tomato, avocado, red onion&capers 11.00
 CROISSANTS
 Webake our craissants each morning, and usually run out noon, and you can substihutefor toast ora bagel
 WITH NUTELLA& either bananas or strawberies & ourhouse whip cream. 7.25
 FETA CHEESE omato cucumber, local spring mix & Dijon mustard mayo 1095
 BACON&BRIE avocado &Dijon mustard mayo. 10.95
 SANDWICHES
 Served on whole grain artisan bread with organic lecal mired greens&chips
 GOAT CHEESE with olive tapenade, roasted red peppers &localtomata 2145
 BRIE &APPLE with local tomato, black pepper, & herb mayo. 1145
 TURKEY With bacon, local tomato, & herbmayo. 12.45
 TUNA with swiss, local tomato, capers, & wasabi mayo. 12.45
 Served with galic crostini& lightly dressed with liliker Dijen dresung
 WATERMELON&FETA with toasted pumpkin seeds, an organic lecal spring mix 195
 SMOKED SALMON with swiss, avocado, local tomato,& wasabinmayo. 1395
 TALKING STORY
 We love Paia!
 SALADS
 mission to offer great
 able, environmentaly
 nights per week alon
 We hope you like us
 come to the countert
 TUNA SALAD with avocado&capers on organic local spring mix 12.95
 GRANDMA BRADY'S BANANA BREAD
 PLAIN 425
 CHOCOLATE CHIP& WALNUT 475
 GRILLED BANANA BREAD With whipped cream& raspberries 625
When you get someone from dev to write the menu

When you get someone from dev to write the menu

Money, Old Navy, and Phone: HOW CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS Excuse me, I said a bit of ice on the bottom. Why is the ice on top? 0h boy! Let me just turn off physics and tell the ice to stop floating! Rude! I want to speak to the manager! Sorry about that! Here, take these $500 giftcards. Please don't give us 1-star on Yelp. YOU'RE FIRED!!! も THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG) the-last-hair-bender: failedhellos: mysteampunkheart: lam681: winmu: scullylovesqueequeg: tamtoee: yeahmicah: thegirlinthesea: spookydatrump: note-inthepages: Accurate post is accurate. Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone Lame For those in retail. I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza. So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!” I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak. When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger. Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people. That last bit of commentary though. You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.
Money, Old Navy, and Phone: HOW CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS
 Excuse me, I said a
 bit of ice on the bottom.
 Why is the ice on top?
 0h boy! Let me just turn
 off physics and tell the
 ice to stop floating!
 Rude! I want
 to speak to
 the manager!
 Sorry about that! Here, take
 these $500 giftcards. Please
 don't give us 1-star on Yelp.
 YOU'RE FIRED!!!
 も
 THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
 EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG)
the-last-hair-bender:
failedhellos:

mysteampunkheart:

lam681:

winmu:

scullylovesqueequeg:

tamtoee:

yeahmicah:

thegirlinthesea:

spookydatrump:

note-inthepages:

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

That last bit of commentary though.


You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.

the-last-hair-bender: failedhellos: mysteampunkheart: lam681: winmu: scullylovesqueequeg: tamtoee: yeahmicah: thegirlinthesea: spook...

Memes, Bible, and Chocolate: @fitwaffle LAD BIBLE A squirting hot chocolate topped with toasted marshmallow. This looks amazing! 😋☕️ - @fitwaffle
Memes, Bible, and Chocolate: @fitwaffle
 LAD
 BIBLE
A squirting hot chocolate topped with toasted marshmallow. This looks amazing! 😋☕️ - @fitwaffle

A squirting hot chocolate topped with toasted marshmallow. This looks amazing! 😋☕️ - @fitwaffle

America, Baked, and Cookies: Andy Richter and 2 others liked A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called "monoscuits." correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular scuit. just one.  an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it. ‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones ‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice behold the monoscuit/scuit Why is this called a biscuit: when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.
America, Baked, and Cookies: Andy Richter and 2 others liked
 A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h
 If my calculations are correct, biscuits
 and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious
 third food called "monoscuits."
correspondingnerd:

brunhiddensmusings:

cameoamalthea:

brunhiddensmusings:

threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat:

badgerofshambles:
a singular scuit. just one. 
an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones

‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice 


behold the monoscuit/scuit

Why is this called a biscuit: 

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.

correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular scui...

Money, Old Navy, and Pizza: How CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS Excuse me, I said a bit of ice on the bottom Why is the ice on top? Oh boy! Let me just turn 2 off physics and tell the ice to stop floating Rude! I want to speak to the manager! Sorry about that! Here, take these $500 giftcards. Please don't give us 1-star on Yelp YOU'RE FIRED!!! THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! (EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG) I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad hen she was given a cheese pizza So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an "x-medium". Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no "x-medium". But she insisted, went and found her an "x-medium" (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, sam same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, "THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!" e make I'm a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water) Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said "NO this one's fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less." I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can't UNCOOK a steak en I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the ive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me "now i want my new croissant" she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells "ma'am let me just tell you what we're all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt." I couldn't stop laughing and she drove away in anger ost of the people like in the stories above know that they're bei totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they'll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people srsfunny:Everybody Should In Customer Service Once In Their Lives
Money, Old Navy, and Pizza: How CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS
 Excuse me, I said a
 bit of ice on the bottom
 Why is the ice on top?
 Oh boy! Let me just turn
 2 off physics and tell the
 ice to stop floating
 Rude! I want
 to speak to
 the manager!
 Sorry about that! Here, take
 these $500 giftcards. Please
 don't give us 1-star on Yelp
 YOU'RE FIRED!!!
 THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
 (EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG)
 I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and
 wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad
 hen she was given a cheese pizza
 So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told
 me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top
 was too large. So she asked me to find her an "x-medium".
 Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x,
 2x and 3x. There is no "x-medium". But she insisted,
 went and found her an "x-medium" (which was just a
 medium in a different color but the same top, sam
 same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, "THIS!
 THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See,
 you can do anything you can set your mind to!"
 e make
 I'm a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked
 me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing
 she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told
 her there was no such thing and brought her regular water)
 Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been
 brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take
 it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she
 said "NO this one's fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little
 less." I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you
 can't UNCOOK a steak
 en I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the
 ive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started
 complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money
 back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money
 and then she tells me "now i want my new croissant" she wanted a
 new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker
 gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells
 "ma'am let me just tell you what we're all thinking. fuck off, you stupid
 cunt." I couldn't stop laughing and she drove away in anger
 ost of the people like in the stories above know that they're bei
 totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they'll
 most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the
 nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or
 respect for people
srsfunny:Everybody Should In Customer Service Once In Their Lives

srsfunny:Everybody Should In Customer Service Once In Their Lives

America, Baked, and Cookies: Andy Richter and 2 others liked A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called "monoscuits." correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular scuit. just one.  an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it. ‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones ‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice behold the monoscuit/scuit Why is this called a biscuit: when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.
America, Baked, and Cookies: Andy Richter and 2 others liked
 A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste.. , 9h
 If my calculations are correct, biscuits
 and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious
 third food called "monoscuits."
correspondingnerd:

brunhiddensmusings:

cameoamalthea:

brunhiddensmusings:

threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat:

badgerofshambles:
a singular scuit. just one. 
an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones

‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice bakedthus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice 


behold the monoscuit/scuit

Why is this called a biscuit: 

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they caredthus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UKthe evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.

correspondingnerd: brunhiddensmusings: cameoamalthea: brunhiddensmusings: threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat: badgerofshambles: a singular scui...

America, Baked, and Cookies: Andy Richter and 2 others liked A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste... . 9h If my calculations are correct, biscuits and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious third food called "monoscuits. badgerofshambles a singular scuit. just one. threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it. brunhiddensmusings scuit comes from the french word for bake', 'cuire' as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years biscuit meant twice-baked', originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word 'biscuit' do not be fooled to think 'being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies' - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones 1862 Hardtack fromof bread was that to The The triscuit' is toasted after the normal biscu it process, thrice baked thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice behold the monoscuitscuit cameoamalthea Why is this called a biscuit: brunhiddensmusings when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breakinga tooth this was a pretty short leap of just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army' but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for twice baked' back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared thus the the same time. 'cookies' then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter sugar/molasses, and eggs before 'tea biscuits' as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why 'biscuit and 'cookie' are separate items in america but the same item in the UK buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree Source: authumor 36,507 notes Monobiscuit
America, Baked, and Cookies: Andy Richter and 2 others liked
 A TINy Beefsteak @TenderBeefste... . 9h
 If my calculations are correct, biscuits
 and Triscuits hint towards a mysterious
 third food called "monoscuits.
 badgerofshambles
 a singular scuit. just one.
 threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat
 an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically
 impossible and yet here I am monching on it.
 brunhiddensmusings
 scuit comes from the french word for bake', 'cuire' as
 bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred
 years
 biscuit meant twice-baked', originally meaning items like
 hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a
 preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter
 were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the
 word 'biscuit' do not be fooled to think 'being a pirate mustve
 been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies' - they were
 made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum
 displays or as paving stones
 1862
 Hardtack fromof bread was
 that
 to
 The
 The
 triscuit' is toasted after the normal biscu
 it process, thrice
 baked
 thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because
 it was only baked once, not twice
 behold the monoscuitscuit
 cameoamalthea
 Why is this called a biscuit:
 brunhiddensmusings
 when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer
 had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so
 instead baked them once and left them soft, often with
 buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into
 filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of
 greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack
 biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or
 gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breakinga
 tooth this was a pretty short leap of just dont make them rock
 hard if im not baking for the army' but didnt drop the name
 because its been used for centuries and people forgot its
 french for twice baked' back in the tudor era, biscuit was just
 a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as
 they cared
 thus the
 the same time. 'cookies' then came to america via german
 and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter
 sugar/molasses, and eggs before 'tea biscuits' as england
 knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which
 is why 'biscuit and 'cookie' are separate items in america but
 the same item in the UK
 buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at
 the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree
 Source: authumor
 36,507 notes
Monobiscuit

Monobiscuit