Thathappened
A Date
A Date

A Date

Crapping
Crapping

Crapping

Wallet
Wallet

Wallet

squirrels
 squirrels

squirrels

drug deal
 drug deal

drug deal

ons
ons

ons

overly
overly

overly

overeating
overeating

overeating

imgure
imgure

imgure

dogged
dogged

dogged

🔥 | Latest

College, Fucking, and Lawyer: TRUM 159650291823782704528885 2088726311223753541_n.jpg 130 KB JPG Story time folks >Be me >Trump supporter >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial college near by >Constantly getting run over and pulled out >Think of idea (pic related) >Plant nails and wait sOne day a woman comes to my door >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and starts screaming at me about how it's my fault her tires are flat OhLordMySides.exe >She says if I don't reimburse her for her tire she'll get the police involved Sudden ldea Tell her to leave her information so I can send her the check since I would need to go to the bank Actually does it Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit >Get my outside cameras to see her running over my sign >Give her name address and car tags to confirm it was her car >Take her to court, open and shut case Pay for damages >Throw in some bullshit about emotional damage "I don't feel like me or my property is safe just because of my political views" >Actually fucking works >She loses her fucking shit at this point >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and how this should be illegal NoProof.jpeg Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or college if she has to pay this >Based Judge says "You should of thought about that before tearing down someone's property, you have 30 days to pay She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court, can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional damages So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade? Pic related siryouarebeingmocked: krungle: inked-up-nomad: miggybeardo: rightsmarts: Read this entire thing, pedes. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Fucking Savage Probably didn’t happen, but a good story. Yeah it sounds a lot like a #ThatHappened story tbh
College, Fucking, and Lawyer: TRUM
 159650291823782704528885 2088726311223753541_n.jpg
 130 KB JPG
 Story time folks
 >Be me
 >Trump supporter
 >Trump sign outside to trigger mostly millennial
 college near by
 >Constantly getting run over and pulled out
 >Think of idea (pic related)
 >Plant nails and wait
 sOne day a woman comes to my door
 >Fat, purple hair, 23 at most, red at the face and
 starts screaming at me about how it's my fault
 her tires are flat
 OhLordMySides.exe
 >She says if I don't reimburse her for her tire
 she'll get the police involved
 Sudden ldea
 Tell her to leave her information so I can send
 her the check since I would need to go to the
 bank
 Actually does it
 Call my lawyer to set up the lawsuit
 >Get my outside cameras to see her running over
 my sign
 >Give her name address and car tags to confirm
 it was her car
 >Take her to court, open and shut case
 Pay for damages
 >Throw in some bullshit about emotional
 damage "I don't feel like me or my property is
 safe just because of my political views"
 >Actually fucking works
 >She loses her fucking shit at this point
 >Starts screaming about how I agreed to pay and
 how this should be illegal
 NoProof.jpeg
 Says she can't pay for basic living expenses or
 college if she has to pay this
 >Based Judge says "You should of thought about
 that before tearing down someone's property, you
 have 30 days to pay
 She gets her tires destroyed, humiliated in court,
 can't pay for living expenses, probably got kicked
 out of college and had to pay me 3k in emotional
 damages
 So, guys, what parts of my PC should I upgrade?
 Pic related
siryouarebeingmocked:

krungle:
inked-up-nomad:

miggybeardo:


rightsmarts:

Read this entire thing, pedes.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!


Fucking Savage


Probably didn’t happen, but a good story.

Yeah it sounds a lot like a #ThatHappened story tbh

siryouarebeingmocked: krungle: inked-up-nomad: miggybeardo: rightsmarts: Read this entire thing, pedes. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Fuckin...

Bad, Family, and Phone: 2 When my grandfather was young he owned a roadside motel, and my mother used to do work around the motel for the family. The building was old and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber were a fairly regular occurrence over there At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest checked out, so they called the plumber to come and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the snake I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical powered snake with a big motor on the back and a little grabby claw on the end So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the control to open the mechanical claw at the end of the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in reverse and starts to pull it back up By now a couple of members of the staff have gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant machine couldn't remove. The motor is really straining you know that sound an electric motor makes when it's working really hard? The whole machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back up through the pipes and into the roonm Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's a shower curtain, The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure out how this could have happened. It would be weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be even weirder if the guest had brought their own shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains. Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that the shower curtain had already been replaced, and then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide the evidence? While they're discussing this, the room phone rings The person on the other end is screaming, hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to figure out that it's the housekeeper who was cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the manage to get the story out of her: The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than spiraling down into the plumbing where it was intended to go, it had wound its way into the central line, and then back up the pipes in the room next door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and then started flailing wildly around the next-door bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw opened on the end of it and snagged the shower curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it around the room until it was coiled tightly around the cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl The actual clog was never found 10980 Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that
Bad, Family, and Phone: 2
 When my grandfather was young he owned a
 roadside motel, and my mother used to do work
 around the motel for the family. The building was old
 and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber
 were a fairly regular occurrence over there
 At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest
 checked out, so they called the plumber to come
 and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag
 of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn
 After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the
 snake
 I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing
 snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This
 isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical
 powered snake with a big motor on the back and a
 little grabby claw on the end
 So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil
 down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring
 whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it
 down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't
 happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the
 control to open the mechanical claw at the end of
 the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in
 reverse and starts to pull it back up

 By now a couple of members of the staff have
 gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the
 hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant
 machine couldn't remove. The motor is really
 straining you know that sound an electric motor
 makes when it's working really hard? The whole
 machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back
 up through the pipes and into the roonm
 Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly
 dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's
 a shower curtain,
 The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure
 out how this could have happened. It would be
 weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower
 curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the
 shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be
 even weirder if the guest had brought their own
 shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down
 the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains.
 Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with
 it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that
 the shower curtain had already been replaced, and
 then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide
 the evidence?

 While they're discussing this, the room phone rings
 The person on the other end is screaming,
 hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to
 figure out that it's the housekeeper who was
 cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the
 manage to get the story out of her:
 The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than
 spiraling down into the plumbing where it was
 intended to go, it had wound its way into the central
 line, and then back up the pipes in the room next
 door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and
 then started flailing wildly around the next-door
 bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of
 steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering
 furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless
 housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw
 opened on the end of it and snagged the shower
 curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it
 around the room until it was coiled tightly around the
 cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl
 The actual clog was never found
 10980
Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

Anaconda, Ass, and Donkey: Yesterday at 8:17 AM Ok. Storytime: this is kinda long but PLEASE READ. It's about my experience last night with these fucking border patrol agents. Last night, I rode the greyhound bus from Bakersfield to Las Vegas to visit family. When we got to the California/Nevada state line, as always, there's a checkpoint. (This checkpoint USED to be one where they made sure you weren't carrying fruits into California, bc of an invasive fruit fly species) Anyway... The bus driver makes an announcement: "We are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be prepared to show your documentation upon request". WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK? So you know I'm ready to act an ASS. I stand up and say LOUDLY I stand up and say LOUDLY: THIS IS A VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH AMENDMENT RIGHTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW THEM *SHIT*! This is illegal. We are not within 100 miles of an international border so that have NO authority to ask you for ANYTHING. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF! And, Since my Spanish sucks, I Google translated how to say that in Spanish and repeated myself: Esto es una violación de los derechos de su cuarta enmienda. ¡No tienes que mostrarles nada! Esto es ilegal No cumples, y no tengas miedo. Están equivocados, y no dejaremos pasar esto The lady next to me did not speak English. She looked terrified. I reassured her that I had her back. The agents get on. Proceed to announce that they are about to start asking for "documentation" from people. I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit! 'm not drivina this his so vou have NO The agents get on. Proceed to announce that they are about to start asking for "documentation" from people. I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit! I'm not driving this bus, so you have NO RIGHT to ask me for anything! And the rest of you guys don't have to show them anything, either! This is harassment and racial profiling! Don't show them a gotdamn thing! We are not within 100 miles of a border so they have NO LEGAL RIGHT or jurisdiction here! GOOGLE IT!" The agents start to look exasperated, because they can see I'm wiling to act a WHOLE DONKEY. One of them said "Fine. We can see that you're a citizen because of your filthy mouth". And then they just said "go ahead" to the bus driver and got off. Point is: These border patrol officers act like they do because they EXPECT people to be afraid of them and just comply. The lady next to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when Point is: These border patrol officers act like they do because they EXPECT people to be afraid of them and just comply. The lady next to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when they boarded. I felt it was my duty to defend her. We DO NOT LIVE in Nazi Germany. No one should be asked to present "papers" for interstate travel. I defended her, and I defended myself. We DO NOT HAVE to just take this shit LYING down. What those officers did is WRONG and completely illegal. All it took was ONE LOUD ass Black woman to let them know WE ARE NOT WITH THE SHITS. FUCK Y'ALL. And they backed off. Use your voice. Take a risk. Act an ASS. Because if you let them intimidate the poor Spanish speaking woman next to you, who do you think they're coming for next? Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"
Anaconda, Ass, and Donkey: Yesterday at 8:17 AM
 Ok. Storytime: this is kinda long but PLEASE
 READ. It's about my experience last night with
 these fucking border patrol agents.
 Last night, I rode the greyhound bus from
 Bakersfield to Las Vegas to visit family.
 When we got to the California/Nevada state
 line, as always, there's a checkpoint.
 (This checkpoint USED to be one where they
 made sure you weren't carrying fruits into
 California, bc of an invasive fruit fly species)
 Anyway...
 The bus driver makes an announcement: "We
 are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be
 prepared to show your documentation upon
 request".
 WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK?
 So you know I'm ready to act an ASS.
 I stand up and say LOUDLY

 I stand up and say LOUDLY:
 THIS IS A VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH
 AMENDMENT RIGHTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO
 SHOW THEM *SHIT*! This is illegal. We are
 not within 100 miles of an international border
 so that have NO authority to ask you for
 ANYTHING. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!
 And, Since my Spanish sucks, I Google
 translated how to say that in Spanish and
 repeated myself:
 Esto es una violación de los derechos de su
 cuarta enmienda. ¡No tienes que mostrarles
 nada! Esto es ilegal No cumples, y no tengas
 miedo. Están equivocados, y no dejaremos
 pasar esto
 The lady next to me did not speak English.
 She looked terrified. I reassured her that I had
 her back.
 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 'm not drivina this his so vou have NO

 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 I'm not driving this bus, so you have NO
 RIGHT to ask me for anything! And the rest
 of you guys don't have to show them
 anything, either! This is harassment and
 racial profiling! Don't show them a gotdamn
 thing! We are not within 100 miles of a border
 so they have NO LEGAL RIGHT or jurisdiction
 here! GOOGLE IT!"
 The agents start to look exasperated,
 because they can see I'm wiling to act a
 WHOLE DONKEY. One of them said "Fine. We
 can see that you're a citizen because of your
 filthy mouth". And then they just said "go
 ahead" to the bus driver and got off.
 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when

 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when
 they boarded. I felt it was my duty to defend
 her. We DO NOT LIVE in Nazi Germany. No
 one should be asked to present "papers" for
 interstate travel. I defended her, and I
 defended myself. We DO NOT HAVE to just
 take this shit LYING down. What those
 officers did is WRONG and completely illegal.
 All it took was ONE LOUD ass Black woman to
 let them know WE ARE NOT WITH THE
 SHITS. FUCK Y'ALL. And they backed off.
 Use your voice. Take a risk. Act an ASS.
 Because if you let them intimidate the poor
 Spanish speaking woman next to you, who do
 you think they're coming for next?

Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"

Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"

Life, LinkedIn, and Mood: 69% 23:30 K- create revenue growth | Sales Strategy | Behaviour Change. 13h I was attacked! A random attack in a bar, several years ago. It left me unconscious and in the hands of a neuroscience specialist. That moment changed my life forever, For the GOOD! While being tested the consultant discovered something which has been a blessing. Up until that moment, I knew I was good at Maths, and my IQ was above average, but that was it I had a rare Brain type was being told that my brain wasn't normal. How does anyone know their version of normal is, well, normal? I soon gave up traditional work, knowing that I have always done well in my career as I took the 'traditional process' and added the perspective of behaviours to it... but what if my theories and idea were truly unique? I needed to explore that. l wanted to know how humans make decisions and how that changes based on the product service, time of day, mood and emotions l explored the conscious and unconscious mind looking at eave your thoughts here... 69% 23:30 K- marketing, sales, culture, strategy and complicated stuff like addiction, trauma and abuse Here l am 3.5 years later with 22 case studies under my belt, results ranging between 60-700% above industry average benchmarks Everyone is a little bit weird. We just have to give ourselves permission to follow our dreams Now to do the same for an employer! #ONO 39 likes 6 comments Like Comment Share Likes Comments Sort by Top C LATAM Account Manager now I'll take Things That Didn't Happen' for $1000 please, Alex Leave your thoughts here... Neuroscientist discovers LinkedIn user's rare brain type.
Life, LinkedIn, and Mood: 69% 23:30
 K-
 create revenue growth | Sales Strategy | Behaviour Change.
 13h
 I was attacked!
 A random attack in a bar, several years ago. It left me
 unconscious and in the hands of a neuroscience specialist.
 That moment changed my life forever, For the GOOD!
 While being tested the consultant discovered something
 which has been a blessing. Up until that moment, I knew I was
 good at Maths, and my IQ was above average, but that was it
 I had a rare Brain type
 was being told that my brain wasn't normal. How does
 anyone know their version of normal is, well, normal?
 I soon gave up traditional work, knowing that I have always
 done well in my career as I took the 'traditional process' and
 added the perspective of behaviours to it... but what if my
 theories and idea were truly unique? I needed to explore that.
 l wanted to know how humans make decisions and how
 that changes based on the product service, time of day,
 mood and emotions
 l explored the conscious and unconscious mind looking at
 eave your thoughts here...

 69% 23:30
 K-
 marketing, sales, culture, strategy and complicated stuff like
 addiction, trauma and abuse
 Here l am 3.5 years later with 22 case studies under my
 belt, results ranging between 60-700% above industry
 average benchmarks
 Everyone is a little bit weird. We just have to give ourselves
 permission to follow our dreams
 Now to do the same for an employer!
 #ONO
 39 likes 6 comments
 Like
 Comment
 Share
 Likes
 Comments
 Sort by Top C
 LATAM Account Manager
 now
 I'll take Things That Didn't Happen' for $1000
 please, Alex
 Leave your thoughts here...
Neuroscientist discovers LinkedIn user's rare brain type.

Neuroscientist discovers LinkedIn user's rare brain type.

A Dream, Bad, and Beautiful: Elizabeth @springbreak2005 I hung out with this guy a couple times last semester and this morning he tried to snapchat me and a bunch of other girls but accidentally started a huge groupchat and 1:10 Kyles fuck up Kyle probably wanted to send nudes to all of us But ended up creating a group Probably that AA sad Truly Happens to the best of us we should kick him out of the group and just send each other nudes YesAA Honestly living for that idea maooo i'm always down for that Oh my god I am so down Send a chat Kyles fuck up And I like girls So this will be a dream Thank you. In advance. Hahaha perfect yeah i'm here for that gay shit |Always down | Girls do it better I wanna know who all y'all is it's true sometimes i wonder why i still date men!! my name is may and i have a really cute dog! Send a chat 1:12 1 Kyles fuck up beauty i'm so gay Mood Wait excuse me HOW RUALL SO HOT WHAT did just wake up to some gay shit welcome to the gay zone ME sTOP I just woke up This is amazing are we all gay i'm here for it i'm gay!! this is a such a dream wow Okay seriously I actually love girls so if any ME of ou wanna fuck .. ;) Send a chat 1:12 1 Kyles fuck up omG how are u all so beautiful i play for both teams Wow wtf is going on kyle accidentally started a lesbian cult Hahahaha he didnt even know what he was capable of He's such an idiot IM WEAK this can't be a coincidence ME this is the best thing I could've possibly woken up to oh my god honestly this is pretty great thanks kyle yeah wow we can live out our niche sapphic fantasies Send a chat <p><a href="https://average-fucktard.tumblr.com/post/173339059652/hominishostilis-lena-zorel-20gayteen-is-so" class="tumblr_blog">average-fucktard</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://hominishostilis.tumblr.com/post/173191232538/lena-zorel-20gayteen-is-so-fucking-real-x-why" class="tumblr_blog">hominishostilis</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://lena-zorel.tumblr.com/post/173154934775/20gayteen-is-so-fucking-real-x" class="tumblr_blog">lena-zorel</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>20gayteen is so fucking real</p> <a href="https://twitter.com/springbreak2005/status/987393689000599552?s=19">x</a> </blockquote> <p>Why do these #thathappened stories always read like a bad fan fiction </p> <p>Oh, wait </p> </blockquote> <p>This is just so believable 👌</p></blockquote> <p>It’s true I was the phone.</p>
A Dream, Bad, and Beautiful: Elizabeth
 @springbreak2005
 I hung out with this guy a couple
 times last semester and this
 morning he tried to snapchat
 me and a bunch of other girls
 but accidentally started a huge
 groupchat and

 1:10
 Kyles fuck up
 Kyle probably wanted to send nudes to all
 of us
 But ended up creating a group
 Probably that AA
 sad
 Truly
 Happens to the best of us
 we should kick him out of the group and
 just send each other nudes
 YesAA
 Honestly living for that idea
 maooo i'm always down for that
 Oh my god I am so down
 Send a chat

 Kyles fuck up
 And I like girls
 So this will be a dream
 Thank you. In advance.
 Hahaha perfect
 yeah i'm here for that gay shit
 |Always down
 | Girls do it better
 I wanna know who all y'all is
 it's true sometimes i wonder why i still date
 men!!
 my name is may and i have a really cute
 dog!
 Send a chat

 1:12 1
 Kyles fuck up
 beauty
 i'm so gay
 Mood
 Wait excuse me
 HOW RUALL SO HOT
 WHAT did just wake up to
 some gay shit
 welcome to the gay zone
 ME
 sTOP I just woke up
 This is amazing are we all gay
 i'm here for it
 i'm gay!!
 this is a such a dream wow
 Okay seriously I actually love girls so if any
 ME
 of ou wanna fuck .. ;)
 Send a chat

 1:12 1
 Kyles fuck up
 omG how are u all so beautiful
 i play for both teams
 Wow wtf is going on
 kyle accidentally started a lesbian cult
 Hahahaha he didnt even know what he was
 capable of
 He's such an idiot
 IM WEAK
 this can't be a coincidence
 ME
 this is the best thing I could've possibly
 woken up to oh my god
 honestly this is pretty great thanks kyle
 yeah wow we can live out our niche sapphic
 fantasies
 Send a chat
<p><a href="https://average-fucktard.tumblr.com/post/173339059652/hominishostilis-lena-zorel-20gayteen-is-so" class="tumblr_blog">average-fucktard</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://hominishostilis.tumblr.com/post/173191232538/lena-zorel-20gayteen-is-so-fucking-real-x-why" class="tumblr_blog">hominishostilis</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="http://lena-zorel.tumblr.com/post/173154934775/20gayteen-is-so-fucking-real-x" class="tumblr_blog">lena-zorel</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>20gayteen is so fucking real</p> <a href="https://twitter.com/springbreak2005/status/987393689000599552?s=19">x</a>
</blockquote>

<p>Why do these #thathappened stories always read like a bad fan fiction </p>
<p>Oh, wait </p>
</blockquote>

<p>This is just so believable 👌</p></blockquote>

<p>It’s true I was the phone.</p>

average-fucktard: hominishostilis: lena-zorel: 20gayteen is so fucking real x Why do these #thathappened stories always read like a bad ...

Bad, Confused, and Fucking: T-Mobile 1:10 AM Bra drop RAVE I went to a lingerie store yesterday to get some new "pretty" bras and while browsing near the changing room, a staff member (SM) asked another woman (30s, maybe?) going into the changing room how long it had been since she had been fitted. She said a while and before she could finish talking, SM says "OK, well let's get that taken care of" and tries to follow her into the changing roonm Shopper lady stopped her and told her she didn't want a fitting and SM interrupts her again to reassure her it's not uncomfortable and she shouldn't be shy and to tell her every woman needs one. Shopper lady clearly was getting pissed off at this point and straight up said "No You are not going to do a fitting for me." She wasn't rude, but she wasn't polite either, she was blunt Then SM turned the conversation on its head and asked "You're not a mother, are you?" Shopper lady looked so confused at the change of topic, she just said "Huh?" SM: "Yeah, thought so. I can always tell. The ↑ 2.7k 239 Share T-Mobile 1:10 AM SM: "Yeah, thought so. I can always tell. The women who aren't mothers yet are far more bashful. Once you have kids and have breastfed, that embarrassment goes right out the window because you'll realise breasts are for feeding babies, not for men to oogle" Shopper lady: gaining back some composure Kids aren't in my future SM: "Oh, it'll happen, one way or another" Shopper lady: now angry "Where in our conversation did I say it was my choice? How do you know you didn't just say that to an infertile woman?" SM: "I... Uh Shopper lady: getting louder "If boobs are only for feeding babies, you shouldn't have a job because lingerie stores like this shouldn't exist. And why would I gift wrap them for my girlfriend? Yeah girlfriend, so no it's not going to happen "one way or another"." SM: still stammering Shopper lady: "You know what? I don't need a fitting not only because l know how to do it ↑ 2.7k 239 Share T-Mobile 1:10 AM feeding babies, you shouldn't have a job because lingerie stores like this shouldn't exist. And why would I gift wrap them for my girlfriend? Yeah girlfriend, so no it's not going to happen "one way or another"." SM: still stammering Shopper lady: "You know what? I don't need a fitting not only because l know how to do it myself since l used to do your fucking job, which you'd know if you hadn't kept interrupting me, but because I'm also not buying anything after this" dumps armful of bras on the floor Not quite a mic drop, but her bra drop was still pretty cool By that point, I was outright staring and as Shopper Lady walked past she said "What?" in a defensive way, probably expecting me to defend SM. I just replied with "Just admiring how badass you are" which made her smile as she walked out Edit: just want to say l've seen a few comments assuming it was a Victoria's Secret store, but it wasn't. It was a boutique store with very few locations, and I don't want to say the name of it because apart from this one time, l've never had or seen a bad experience there ↑ 2.7k 239 Share Woman goes off on employee about not wanting a child, does 'bra drop'
Bad, Confused, and Fucking: T-Mobile
 1:10 AM
 Bra drop
 RAVE
 I went to a lingerie store yesterday to get some
 new "pretty" bras and while browsing near the
 changing room, a staff member (SM) asked
 another woman (30s, maybe?) going into the
 changing room how long it had been since she
 had been fitted. She said a while and before she
 could finish talking, SM says "OK, well let's get
 that taken care of" and tries to follow her into the
 changing roonm
 Shopper lady stopped her and told her she didn't
 want a fitting and SM interrupts her again to
 reassure her it's not uncomfortable and she
 shouldn't be shy and to tell her every woman
 needs one. Shopper lady clearly was getting
 pissed off at this point and straight up said "No
 You are not going to do a fitting for me." She
 wasn't rude, but she wasn't polite either, she was
 blunt
 Then SM turned the conversation on its head and
 asked "You're not a mother, are you?"
 Shopper lady looked so confused at the change
 of topic, she just said "Huh?"
 SM: "Yeah, thought so. I can always tell. The
 ↑ 2.7k
 239
 Share

 T-Mobile
 1:10 AM
 SM: "Yeah, thought so. I can always tell. The
 women who aren't mothers yet are far more
 bashful. Once you have kids and have breastfed,
 that embarrassment goes right out the window
 because you'll realise breasts are for feeding
 babies, not for men to oogle"
 Shopper lady: gaining back some composure
 Kids aren't in my future
 SM: "Oh, it'll happen, one way or another"
 Shopper lady: now angry "Where in our
 conversation did I say it was my choice? How do
 you know you didn't just say that to an infertile
 woman?"
 SM: "I... Uh
 Shopper lady: getting louder "If boobs are only for
 feeding babies, you shouldn't have a job because
 lingerie stores like this shouldn't exist. And why
 would I gift wrap them for my girlfriend? Yeah
 girlfriend, so no it's not going to happen "one way
 or another"."
 SM: still stammering
 Shopper lady: "You know what? I don't need a
 fitting not only because l know how to do it
 ↑ 2.7k
 239
 Share

 T-Mobile
 1:10 AM
 feeding babies, you shouldn't have a job because
 lingerie stores like this shouldn't exist. And why
 would I gift wrap them for my girlfriend? Yeah
 girlfriend, so no it's not going to happen "one way
 or another"."
 SM: still stammering
 Shopper lady: "You know what? I don't need a
 fitting not only because l know how to do it
 myself since l used to do your fucking job, which
 you'd know if you hadn't kept interrupting me,
 but because I'm also not buying anything after
 this" dumps armful of bras on the floor
 Not quite a mic drop, but her bra drop was still
 pretty cool
 By that point, I was outright staring and as
 Shopper Lady walked past she said "What?" in a
 defensive way, probably expecting me to defend
 SM. I just replied with "Just admiring how badass
 you are" which made her smile as she walked out
 Edit: just want to say l've seen a few comments
 assuming it was a Victoria's Secret store, but it
 wasn't. It was a boutique store with very few
 locations, and I don't want to say the name of it
 because apart from this one time, l've never had
 or seen a bad experience there
 ↑ 2.7k
 239
 Share
Woman goes off on employee about not wanting a child, does 'bra drop'

Woman goes off on employee about not wanting a child, does 'bra drop'

Crazy, Definitely, and Fashion: Used And Abused RETAIL USA WILD & UNRULY (I am working at a makeup store as a cashier. I am about 16 and don't have much job experience, and this is my first job working in a retail-type setting. We have our refund policy posted all over the store, including on receipts and our website. We do not allow any makeup returns unless the makeup is unused and the unit carton is sealed with no obvious signs of damage to the product or the carton. A woman walks in with a bag filled with palettes and drops it on the counter.) Customer: "I'd like to make a return Me: "Sure, of course! Do you have your receipt with you?" Customer "Yes. I want to return all of this stuff in the bag. It was complete s Me: "Um... okay." (She hands me a very long receipt) Me: "Thank you, ma'am. All right, everything? And it's all untouched?" Customer "Yes never used it (She takes out her a little booklet with her credit cards in it and places it on the counter while I open the bag. A giant poof of powder from the palettes flies up into my face. Every single palette is clearly shattered, and the pans that aren't broken have clearly been used.) Me: "Uh... ma'am, everything is... broken customer: "Yes, that's why I'm returning it Me: "I'm sorry, but I can't accept this. These pans have obviously been used, and the damaged." customer: *becomes an uber-witch in 0.32 seconds* "I never used them! They were broken when I bought them, b that's why I'm returning them Customer: *becomes an uber-witch in 0.32 seconds* "I never used them! They were broken when I bought them, b that's why I'm returning them Me: caught off guard "Ma'am, these pans *l point to the pans are clearly used There are finger swipes on them. m sorry, but we don't accept returns of damaged or used products. Customer "You little a wipe, get me your f****** manager this very second Me: "As of right now, I am the only working employee Customer "Then call your fi head manager, S (Ive never faced this type of dilemma, so I call my manager. She doesn't pick up.) Customer "I paid good money for this s and it was f****** broken want to return my f makeup, you f c***!" (Im getting angry now, and the other customers are staring.) Me: "Ma'am, I really don't know what you want me to tell you. I Customer "Tell me that I can f****** return this! What the h s your name? I will f****** report you to your f boss Me: "MATAM. We do NOT accept broken or used products, and these palettes are both! I am going to have to ask you to leave if you continue this behavior." Customer "I don't see your return policy! I'm going to sue your f company, you hear me? Me: he return policy is on your receipt and written around the store near the displays. It's also on the counter and on our website." Customer "I COULD'VE MISSED THAT Me finally losing my temper* "Do you have eyes? I see them right now and they clearly work so if you have them then please, for the sake of all of us, use them to read things so you don't sound like a f****** idiot when you talk to other people Customer "YOU B****! M CALLING YOUR MANAGER Me: finally losing my temper* "Do you have eyes? I see them right now and they clearly work so if you have them then please, for the sake of all of us, use them to read things so you don't sound like a f****** idiot when you talk to other people Customer "YOU B****! M CALLING YOUR MANAGER Me: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave right now, or I will call the police." (I notice another employee, who happens to be gifted in the martial arts, arriving for her shift standing at the entrance of the store, watching. Ieye the phone on the wall She mouths "9-1-1? and I nod. She dials the police.) Customer: "B****! You'll get what you deserve Me: "Ma'am, you must leave immediately or I will have you escorted out." Customer "YOU FILTHY W****! YOU CANT MAKE ME LEAVE (She pulls a nail polish with a rather slim and pointy cap made by a certain famous fashion designer o of the shelf next to her and throws it hard at me. It hits my temple and I start bleeding.) Me: "The police have been called and take note that I will see you in court for harassment and assault." Customer: "N YOU WONT (She immediately turns around and starts running right towards the entrance near the other employee. The employee grabs her arm and flips her on the ground, then places her foot on her chest. The police arrive right as she's doing this and arrest the customer. Igrab the customer's booklet off of the counter and flip it open. Right on the very front slip is her ID. walk over to the customer and police) Customer "SHE'S A LIAR! SHE'S A F****** CRAZY B Me: ironically "MAAM, you forgot this as you were trying to run away." (I dropped it on the ground and walked back to the counter) People wonder why I still go to this site. Obviously because of the absolutely true stories people tell.
Crazy, Definitely, and Fashion: Used And Abused
 RETAIL
 USA WILD & UNRULY
 (I am working at a makeup store as a cashier. I am about 16 and don't have much job
 experience, and this is my first job working in a retail-type setting. We have our refund
 policy posted all over the store, including on receipts and our website. We do not allow any
 makeup returns unless the makeup is unused and the unit carton is sealed with no obvious
 signs of damage to the product or the carton. A woman walks in with a bag filled with
 palettes and drops it on the counter.)
 Customer: "I'd like to make a return
 Me: "Sure, of course! Do you have your receipt with you?"
 Customer
 "Yes. I want to return all of this stuff in the bag. It was complete s
 Me: "Um... okay."
 (She hands me a very long receipt)
 Me: "Thank you, ma'am. All right, everything? And it's all untouched?"
 Customer
 "Yes
 never used it
 (She takes out her a little booklet with her credit cards in it and places it on the counter
 while I open the bag. A giant poof of powder from the palettes flies up into my face. Every
 single palette is clearly shattered, and the pans that aren't broken have clearly been used.)
 Me: "Uh... ma'am, everything is... broken
 customer: "Yes, that's why I'm returning it
 Me: "I'm sorry, but I can't accept
 this. These pans have obviously been used, and
 the
 damaged."
 customer: *becomes an uber-witch in 0.32 seconds* "I never used them! They were
 broken when I bought them, b
 that's why I'm returning them

 Customer: *becomes an uber-witch in 0.32 seconds* "I never used them! They were
 broken when I bought them, b
 that's why I'm returning them
 Me: caught off guard "Ma'am, these pans
 *l point to the pans
 are clearly used
 There are finger swipes on them. m sorry, but we don't accept returns of damaged or
 used products.
 Customer
 "You little a
 wipe, get me your f****** manager this very second
 Me: "As of right now, I
 am the only working employee
 Customer
 "Then call your fi
 head
 manager, S
 (Ive never faced this type of dilemma, so I call my manager. She doesn't pick up.)
 Customer
 "I paid good money for this s
 and it was f****** broken
 want to
 return my f
 makeup, you f
 c***!"
 (Im getting angry now, and the other customers are staring.)
 Me: "Ma'am, I really don't know what you want me to tell you.
 I
 Customer
 "Tell me that I can f****** return this! What the h
 s your name? I will
 f****** report you to your f
 boss
 Me: "MATAM. We do NOT accept broken or used products, and these palettes are both!
 I am going to have to ask you to leave if you continue this behavior."
 Customer
 "I don't see your return policy! I'm going to sue your f
 company, you
 hear me?
 Me: he return policy is on your receipt and written around the store near the
 displays. It's also on the counter and on our website."
 Customer
 "I COULD'VE MISSED THAT
 Me
 finally losing my temper* "Do you have eyes? I see them right now and they
 clearly work so if you have them then please, for the sake of all of us, use them to read
 things so you don't sound like a f****** idiot when you talk to other people
 Customer
 "YOU B****! M CALLING YOUR MANAGER

 Me: finally losing my temper* "Do you have eyes? I see them right now and they
 clearly work so if you have them then please, for the sake of all of us, use them to read
 things so you don't sound like a f****** idiot when you talk to other people
 Customer
 "YOU B****! M CALLING YOUR MANAGER
 Me: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave right now, or I will call the police."
 (I notice another employee, who happens to be gifted in the martial arts, arriving for her
 shift standing at the entrance of the store, watching. Ieye the phone on the wall She
 mouths "9-1-1? and I nod. She dials the police.)
 Customer: "B****! You'll get what you deserve
 Me: "Ma'am, you must leave immediately or
 I will have you escorted out."
 Customer
 "YOU FILTHY W****! YOU CANT MAKE ME LEAVE
 (She pulls a nail polish with a rather slim and pointy cap made by a certain famous fashion
 designer o
 of the shelf next to her and throws it hard at me. It hits my temple and I start
 bleeding.)
 Me: "The police have been called and take note that I will see you in court for
 harassment and assault."
 Customer: "N
 YOU WONT
 (She immediately turns around and starts running right towards the entrance near the
 other employee. The employee grabs her arm and flips her on the ground, then places her
 foot on her chest. The police arrive right as she's doing this and arrest the customer. Igrab
 the customer's booklet off of the counter and flip it open. Right on the very front slip is her
 ID. walk over to the customer and police)
 Customer
 "SHE'S A LIAR! SHE'S A F****** CRAZY B
 Me: ironically "MAAM, you forgot this as you were trying to run away."
 (I dropped it on the ground and walked back to the counter)
People wonder why I still go to this site. Obviously because of the absolutely true stories people tell.

People wonder why I still go to this site. Obviously because of the absolutely true stories people tell.

Animals, Books, and Ignorant: A DELTA HOFSTETTER/ST TSA PRECHK SK IR 1 006 DL 7 21 FEB op or server 69A DOCS BOARDING PASS SKY PRIORITY HOFSTETTER/STEVEN IR S 10A DLA 21 FEB PREM LOS ANGELES TOKYO-HANEDA OPERATED BY DELTA AER LINES TNC 13 While walking to my gate at LAX, l noticed a woman whose dog was in the middle of doing its business. The woman was loudly face-timing with her back to the dog, so l assumed she didn't notice. That was likely the thought shared by the gentleman who tried to get her attention. Excuse me, miss?" he said, in a polite tone. The woman glared at him. "Your dog," he sheepishly continued, pointing to the mid-poop pup The woman rolled her eyes and went back to face time as the man slinked away, seemingly embarrassed "Some people," she bellowed to her face-time companion with no hint of irony, "are just so damned rude 33 When her dog finished, the woman started walking away, leaving everything right on the airport floor. Another woman tried to stop her "You're not going to clean that up?" she asked, as shocked as the rest of us were "They have people for that," the offender replied, disappearing into the crowd, as much as someone yelling into their phone can disappear into a crowd stood near the pile and warned people to walk around it while someone else got a maintenance worker's attention. No one said anything -we were so shocked that anyone could be that horrible When I got to my gate, the woman was there, too. Great we were both going to Tokyo. When I travel abroad, l get embarrassed by other Americans doing things one hundred times less embarrassing than leaving animal feces on the floor of an airport. To make it worse, her dog was now barking at everyone who walked by have nothing against people flying with their dogs, l do it often. But it is a privilege l take seriously. My dog is well- trained and behaves better than most people. He certainly behaves better than that asshole Speaking of assholes, there is a pet relief area inside LAX past security, just two gates away from where The Party Pooper let her dog go to town. It didn't matter she was the type of person to litter three feet from an empty garbage Can While her dog barked at the world, the woman had moved from face-timing with no headphones to listening to music with no headphones. I don't like to throw around the word "sociopath" but I don't know how else l could explain just how selfish and terrible of a person she was. I'd bet her car was somewhere in long-term parking, parked across three spots with paint on the bumper from the child's bike she hit without leaving a note Everyone else tried to ignore her, sitting as far away from her as they could. I am not everyone else I sat down right next to the horrible woman. "Are you going to London on business? I said "I'm going to Tokyo," she responded gruffly, annoyed that l interrupted her DJing "Oh, I said. Then you better hurry. That flight got moved to gate 53C. This is the flight to London." figured l could give her a little moment of panic as payback for how terribly she was treating everyone. didn't predict what would happen next. She grabbed her bags and her dog in a huff, and stormed out of the gate without even checking. She was so self-involved, she didn't notice that the monitor at our gate still said Tokyo and almost everyone at the gate was Japanese Based on her actions, she believed me that the fight had been moved, so she's also an asshole for not thanking me "Some people," I thought as l watched her rush away from the gate without stopping her, "are just so damned rude The flight to Tokyo was at gate 69A, so the 53 gates were on the other side of the next terminal. And felt guilty knowing she probably berated some poor clerk who had to explain to her that there was no gate 53C I don't know if she made it back to this flight before we took off or not, but I didn't see her board and I don't hear her dog. Her missing her flight Was not my original intention, but it would be a fine punishment for her being so rude to everyone and making a low-paid stranger clean feces off the floor. What makes me wonder if I went too far is the knowledge that Delta only has one flight to Tokyo each day. Whoops Maybe she can re-book on another airline. l hear they have people for that EDIT For those of you who want to play internet detective and demand to see my ticket, I'm a stand-up comedian with a show in LA last night and a show in Tokyo tonight. But if that's not enough for you here's my ticket Comedian plays epic airport prank on nasty woman and kind of gets revenge
Animals, Books, and Ignorant: A DELTA
 HOFSTETTER/ST
 TSA PRECHK SK
 IR 1 006
 DL 7 21 FEB op
 or server 69A
 DOCS
 BOARDING PASS
 SKY PRIORITY
 HOFSTETTER/STEVEN IR S
 10A
 DLA 21 FEB
 PREM
 LOS ANGELES
 TOKYO-HANEDA
 OPERATED BY DELTA AER LINES TNC
 13

 While walking to my gate at LAX, l noticed a woman whose
 dog was in the middle of doing its business. The woman
 was loudly face-timing with her back to the dog, so l
 assumed she didn't notice. That was likely the thought
 shared by the gentleman who tried to get her attention.
 Excuse me, miss?" he said, in a polite tone. The woman
 glared at him. "Your dog," he sheepishly continued, pointing
 to the mid-poop pup
 The woman rolled her eyes and went back to face time as
 the man slinked away, seemingly embarrassed
 "Some people," she bellowed to her face-time companion
 with no hint of irony, "are just so damned rude
 33
 When her dog finished, the woman started walking away,
 leaving everything right on the airport floor. Another woman
 tried to stop her
 "You're not going to clean that up?" she asked, as shocked
 as the rest of us were
 "They have people for that," the offender replied,
 disappearing into the crowd, as much as someone yelling
 into their phone can disappear into a crowd
 stood near the pile and warned people to walk around it
 while someone else got a maintenance worker's attention.
 No one said anything -we were so shocked that anyone
 could be that horrible

 When I got to my gate, the woman was there, too. Great
 we were both going to Tokyo. When I travel abroad, l get
 embarrassed by other Americans doing things one hundred
 times less embarrassing than leaving animal feces on the
 floor of an airport. To make it worse, her dog was now
 barking at everyone who walked by
 have nothing against people flying with their dogs, l do it
 often. But it is a privilege l take seriously. My dog is well-
 trained and behaves better than most people. He certainly
 behaves better than that asshole
 Speaking of assholes, there is a pet relief area inside LAX
 past security, just two gates away from where The Party
 Pooper let her dog go to town. It didn't matter she was the
 type of person to litter three feet from an empty garbage
 Can
 While her dog barked at the world, the woman had moved
 from face-timing with no headphones to listening to music
 with no headphones. I don't like to throw around the word
 "sociopath" but I don't know how else l could explain just
 how selfish and terrible of a person she was. I'd bet her car
 was somewhere in long-term parking, parked across three
 spots with paint on the bumper from the child's bike she hit
 without leaving a note
 Everyone else tried to ignore her, sitting as far away from
 her as they could. I am not everyone else
 I sat down right next to the horrible woman. "Are you going
 to London on business?
 I said
 "I'm going to Tokyo," she responded gruffly, annoyed that l
 interrupted her DJing

 "Oh, I said. Then you better hurry. That flight got moved to
 gate 53C. This is the flight to London."
 figured l could give her a little moment of panic as
 payback for how terribly she was treating everyone. didn't
 predict what would happen next. She grabbed her bags
 and her dog in a huff, and stormed out of the gate without
 even checking. She was so self-involved, she didn't notice
 that the monitor at our gate still said Tokyo and almost
 everyone at the gate was Japanese
 Based on her actions, she believed me that the fight had
 been moved, so she's also an asshole for not thanking me
 "Some people," I thought as l watched her rush away from
 the gate without stopping her, "are just so damned rude
 The flight to Tokyo was at gate 69A, so the 53 gates were
 on the other side of the next terminal. And felt guilty
 knowing she probably berated some poor clerk who had to
 explain to her that there was no gate 53C
 I don't know if she made it back to this flight before we took
 off or not, but I didn't see her board and I don't hear her
 dog. Her missing her flight Was not my original intention,
 but it would be a fine punishment for her being so rude to
 everyone and making a low-paid stranger clean feces off
 the floor. What makes me wonder if I went too far is the
 knowledge that Delta only has one flight to Tokyo each day.
 Whoops
 Maybe she can re-book on another airline. l hear they have
 people for that
 EDIT For those of you who want to play internet detective
 and demand to see my ticket, I'm a stand-up comedian with
 a show in LA last night
 and a show in Tokyo tonight. But if
 that's not enough for you
 here's my ticket
Comedian plays epic airport prank on nasty woman and kind of gets revenge

Comedian plays epic airport prank on nasty woman and kind of gets revenge

Hockey, Minecraft, and Revenge: So, my daughter, who was about 8 at the time, was REALLY Minecraft (as most kids are these days). Also desperately into wanting to join the Youtube/Let's Play culture, l had installed some screen recording software that would let her make videos of the games she was playing so she could later upload them to Youtube Anyways, one day I'm minding my own business when l hear her quietly sniffling over on the computer. asked her what was wrong, but she didn't want to tell me so I let it go, but decided to keep on eye on her. A few minutes later l discovered what was happening, someone was harassing not only her, but also all the other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we'll call him Little Shithead, or LS) was saying shit about how he was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time l had gotten my fiance involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little shit this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form I started by googling LS's username. There were several hits Immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS he claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact info; it was literally firstname.lastname. I know your name now you little shit So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing Hmmmm. On a hunch l searched for just the last name, while narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we'll call him Little Shithead, or LS) was saying shit about how he was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time l had gotten my fiance involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little shit this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form I started by googling LS's username. There were several hits immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS: he claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact info, it was literally firstname.lastname. l know your name now you little shit So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing Hmmmm. On a hunch l searched for just the last name, while narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until I find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT So I sent him a message on Facebook, asking if he had a son named firstname who goes by his username on Minecraft. Dad confirmed had the right guy. So my wife begins telling the dad everything that LS was saying to my daughter, and we sent him the recorded video as proof. Radio silence for a few days Then we got the message back: LS had his computer taken away from him for the entire summer, and had also been lying about his age (he was only 11, I think). His parents were fucking livid with him, and he surely hated the next few months of his life No one fucks with my daughter edit: spelling op stalks kid and gets revenge
Hockey, Minecraft, and Revenge: So, my daughter, who was about 8 at the time, was REALLY
 Minecraft (as most kids are these days). Also desperately
 into wanting to join the Youtube/Let's Play culture, l had installed
 some screen recording software that would let her make videos
 of the games she was playing so she could later upload them to
 Youtube
 Anyways, one day I'm minding my own business when l hear
 her quietly sniffling over on the computer. asked her what was
 wrong, but she didn't want to tell me so
 I let it go, but decided to
 keep on eye on her. A few minutes later l discovered what was
 happening, someone was harassing not only her, but also all the
 other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we'll
 call him Little Shithead, or LS) was saying shit about how he
 was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old
 she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into
 her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this
 is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time l had gotten my fiance
 involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little
 shit this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been
 recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form
 I started by googling LS's username. There were several hits
 Immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page
 where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on
 Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS he
 claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now
 lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact
 info; it was literally firstname.lastname. I know your name now
 you little shit
 So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing
 Hmmmm. On a hunch l searched for just the last name, while
 narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen
 hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until
 find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same
 last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and
 now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT

 other kids playing on whatever server she was on. This kid (we'll
 call him Little Shithead, or LS) was saying shit about how he
 was going to rape my 8 year old daughter (she told him how old
 she was hoping he would stop), how he was going to hack into
 her IP and steal all her info, swearing profusely (remember, this
 is a game for kids), etc etc. By this time l had gotten my fiance
 involved, and she was also obviously quite upset at what a little
 shit this kid was being. We realized that our daughter had been
 recording the entire incident, and a plan began to form
 I started by googling LS's username. There were several hits
 immediately, the most interesting of which involved a page
 where he was publicly applying to be a mod for a server on
 Minecraft. I was able to learn a lot about this little POS: he
 claimed to be 15, likes hockey, used to live in Toronto but now
 lives in Florida. But the bombshell was easily his skype contact
 info, it was literally firstname.lastname. l know your name now
 you little shit
 So I head over to Facebook and search for the name. Nothing
 Hmmmm. On a hunch l searched for just the last name, while
 narrowing my results to only the state of Florida. Several dozen
 hits. Hmmm. So I have to start combing through each one, until
 I find what I was looking for: a middle aged man with the same
 last name, whose profile indicates he was born in Toronto and
 now lives in Florida. I FOUND YOUR DAD, YOU LITTLE SHIT
 So I sent him a message on Facebook, asking if he had a son
 named firstname who goes by his username on Minecraft. Dad
 confirmed had the right guy. So my wife begins telling the dad
 everything that LS was saying to my daughter, and we sent him
 the recorded video as proof. Radio silence for a few days
 Then we got the message back: LS had his computer taken
 away from him for the entire summer, and had also been lying
 about his age (he was only 11, I think). His parents were fucking
 livid with him, and he surely hated the next few months of his
 life
 No one fucks with my daughter
 edit: spelling
op stalks kid and gets revenge

op stalks kid and gets revenge

Ups, Old, and Thathappened: Three-year-old independently wanders around neighborhood asking to do chores so he can save up to buy his father a wallet
Ups, Old, and Thathappened: Three-year-old independently wanders around neighborhood asking to do chores so he can save up to buy his father a wallet

Three-year-old independently wanders around neighborhood asking to do chores so he can save up to buy his father a wallet

Bad, Beautiful, and Cats: 3 9:06 AM o 78% D ooooo Verizon Messages Group MMS Details To: Sister, Dad Yesterday 3:24 PM Dad I've got some bad news. Kitty has been missing since last night. When your mom drove the neighborhood just now, she found her in the street near the house. Your mom is pretty emotional so please reach out when you can and offer your support Oh no. So sorry to hear this Sister Man. Just got off the phone with her-she's definitely very broken up about it. Give her our love in person when you get home, dad. And be sure to get the woman her groceries. Love you guys! Send O Text Message ..oo Verizon 3 9:06 AM To X3 78% o Messages Group MMS Details To: Sister, Dad Yesterday 5:38 PM Dad Well your not going to believe this. After a beautiful burial service and words of remembrance from yours truly. We walked back in the house to begin our post-Kitty life. Out of habit I looked out the back window and guess who was staring back at me? You guessed it. We buried someone else's cat. l guess it's true-cats do have nine lives. Thanks for your kind words. All is better now. Sister is this forreal?! Dad Would you like a photo? Send O Text Message ...oo Verizon 3 9:06 AM o 78% o Messages Group MMS Details To: Sister, Dad Would you like a photo? Sister YES What the actual fuck Sister Send O Text Message ...oo Verizon 3 12:35 PM T o 73% DS Messages Mom Details Today 12:34 PM Oh, and BTW, I dug up the carcass and took it to our vet and it didn't have a chip in it. Because it's a rabbit. Do NOT tell the world about this. O i Message Q W E R T Y U I O P A S D F G H J K L A Z X C V B N M 123 O space return What a crazy turn of events!!!
Bad, Beautiful, and Cats: 3 9:06 AM o 78% D
 ooooo Verizon
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Yesterday 3:24 PM
 Dad
 I've got some bad news. Kitty
 has been missing since last
 night. When your mom drove
 the neighborhood just now,
 she found her in the street
 near the house. Your mom is
 pretty emotional so please
 reach out when you can and
 offer your support
 Oh no. So sorry to hear this
 Sister
 Man. Just got off the phone
 with her-she's definitely very
 broken up about it. Give her
 our love in person when you
 get home, dad. And be sure
 to get the woman her
 groceries. Love you guys!
 Send
 O Text Message

 ..oo Verizon 3 9:06 AM
 To X3 78%
 o
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Yesterday 5:38 PM
 Dad
 Well your not going to believe
 this. After a beautiful burial
 service and words of
 remembrance from yours
 truly. We walked back in the
 house to begin our post-Kitty
 life. Out of habit I looked out
 the back window and guess
 who was staring back at me?
 You guessed it. We buried
 someone else's cat. l guess
 it's true-cats do have nine
 lives. Thanks for your kind
 words. All is better now.
 Sister
 is this forreal?!
 Dad
 Would you like a photo?
 Send
 O Text Message

 ...oo Verizon
 3 9:06 AM
 o 78% o
 Messages Group MMS
 Details
 To: Sister, Dad
 Would you like a photo?
 Sister
 YES
 What the actual fuck
 Sister
 Send
 O Text Message

 ...oo Verizon
 3 12:35 PM T o 73%
 DS
 Messages
 Mom
 Details
 Today 12:34 PM
 Oh, and BTW, I dug up the
 carcass and took it to our vet
 and it didn't have a chip in it.
 Because it's a rabbit. Do NOT
 tell the world about this.
 O i Message
 Q W E R T Y U I O P
 A S D F G H J K L
 A Z X C V B N M
 123 O space
 return
What a crazy turn of events!!!

What a crazy turn of events!!!

Grandma, Love, and Moms: "Quick guys, pretend to be asleep!" [6000+ upvotes on /r/funny]
Grandma, Love, and Moms: "Quick guys, pretend to be asleep!" [6000+ upvotes on /r/funny]

"Quick guys, pretend to be asleep!" [6000+ upvotes on /r/funny]

Bitch, Dude, and Girls: sunrisenebula I spent an hour messing with assholes on Pokemon Go today I sat at the campus gym for like, half an hour Whittling its prestige down so l could take it over, then just as l did, some random red dude sniped it from under me. So I healed up and Cleared him out of there with a sound beating, but before I could get anyone in the gym, his buddy stuck a pokemon in there. It took some careful timing, but l eventually managed to stick a random flareon in there (I have so many flareon, guys. It's a problem. I just want a jolteon or vaporeon. Either one would do. Just not another fareon, please) So naturally the guy starts fighting the flareon to take it out, but this time, was ready. As soon as he wiped out the flareon and the gym turned grey, l struck. I stuck another flareon with the same nickname and nearly the same cp in there Cue "WTF is this piece of shit glitchy game doing?" reaction from the guy. "I beat it, why is that thing still there?" Meanwhile l healed up my first flareon, so when he tried again, just stuck it back in the gym. After a few times, the timing got really easy He beats flareon, l stick the other in, heal while he's fighting rinse and repeat. I was just gonna let it go after a few repetitions, but then his buddy said "Maybe it's that girl over there doing it?" and he replied "No, Can't be, girls suck at Pokemon." Bitch, it is on I kept it up for half an hour until he ran out of healing items and had to storm away frustrated that he couldn't seem to capture this "glitchy" gym You wanna be a gym sniping asshole? Fine, ve got better things to do. You want to be a sexist dudebro asshole? I will destroy y and everything you Move twistedviper you're doing God's work Source: sunrisenebula Maybe 'true' story.
Bitch, Dude, and Girls: sunrisenebula
 I spent an hour messing with
 assholes on Pokemon Go today
 I sat at the campus gym for like, half an hour Whittling its prestige down so l
 could take it over, then just as l did, some random red dude sniped it from
 under me. So I healed up and Cleared him out of there with a sound beating,
 but before I could get anyone in the gym, his buddy stuck a pokemon in there.
 It took some careful timing, but l eventually managed to stick a random flareon
 in there (I have so many flareon, guys. It's a problem. I just want a jolteon or
 vaporeon. Either one would do. Just not another fareon, please)
 So naturally the guy starts fighting the flareon to take it out, but this time, was
 ready. As soon as he wiped out the flareon and the gym turned grey, l struck. I
 stuck another flareon with the same nickname and nearly the same cp in there
 Cue "WTF is this piece of shit glitchy game doing?" reaction from the guy.
 "I
 beat it, why is that thing still there?" Meanwhile
 l healed up my first flareon, so
 when he tried again, just stuck it back in the gym. After a few times, the timing
 got really easy He beats flareon, l stick the other in, heal while he's fighting
 rinse and repeat.
 I was just gonna let it go after a few repetitions, but then his buddy said
 "Maybe it's that girl over there doing it?" and he replied "No, Can't be, girls suck
 at Pokemon."
 Bitch, it is on
 I kept it up for half an hour until he ran out of healing items and had to storm
 away frustrated that he couldn't seem to capture this "glitchy" gym
 You wanna be a gym sniping asshole? Fine, ve got better things to do. You
 want to be a sexist dudebro asshole? I will destroy y
 and everything you
 Move
 twistedviper
 you're doing God's work
 Source: sunrisenebula
Maybe 'true' story.

Maybe 'true' story.

Friends, Mean, and Meaning: I made a towel penis and I want to show you all. And by that I mean that *my friend* made a towel penis, ewww
Friends, Mean, and Meaning: I made a towel penis and I want to show you all. And by that I mean that *my friend* made a towel penis, ewww

I made a towel penis and I want to show you all. And by that I mean that *my friend* made a towel penis, ewww