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Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers votes oldest newest You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES 1811 Have you tried using an XML parser instead? link edit flag edited Nov 14 at 0:18 community wiki bobince regex and html
Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers
 votes
 oldest
 newest
 You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that
 can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many
 times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is
 insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular
 language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break
 down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular
 regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me
 crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even
 Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with
 regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp.
 Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together
 like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and
 HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you
 parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to
 inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes.
 HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late
 it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue
 (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive
 this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and
 security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the
 dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg
 ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless
 screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and
 existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy
 radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of
 regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you
 see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he
 comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne
 stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES
 1811
 Have you tried using an XML parser instead?
 link edit flag
 edited Nov 14 at 0:18
 community wiki
 bobince
regex and html

regex and html

Apparently, Confused, and Friends: solarmorrigan So. 10th grade English class, We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing A couple of people try to ask her and she says we'll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she'll be back in a couple of minutes Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So. y'know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat, one of the boys teasingly steals a girl's bailoon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it's quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back stops in the doorway, and just stares at us After a long moment she says, confused, "You didn't pop the balloons To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, "We re allowed to pop them? and immediately turms around and stabs his friend's balloon with the pencil There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. 1 can't believe you didn't pop your balloons Apparently we were starting Lord of the Fies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever vansnailismylife Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we just started tackling the ist of tasks. Task 1-the test. Everybody took it silently, no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two tidy up the room, So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of the room. Task Three Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us. So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the teacher After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING She was so upset we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they were too nice She tied to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild because it meant her class didnt get the point across hookedonafeeeling That's because lord of the flies isnt representative of humanity its representative of rich white male shitheads
Apparently, Confused, and Friends: solarmorrigan
 So. 10th grade English class, We all come in one morning to find a balloon and
 a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no
 explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort
 of thing A couple of people try to ask her and she says we'll get to it. She takes
 role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she'll be
 back in a couple of minutes
 Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English
 and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So. y'know. Brief respite. We all sit and
 chat, one of the boys teasingly steals a girl's bailoon, but gives it back to her
 easily enough; it's quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back
 stops in the doorway, and just stares at us
 After a long moment she says, confused, "You didn't pop the balloons
 To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, "We re allowed to pop
 them? and immediately turms around and stabs his friend's balloon with the
 pencil
 There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop
 seatmates balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking
 her head. 1 can't believe you didn't pop your balloons
 Apparently we were starting Lord of the Fies that day and she wanted to
 demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no
 authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment
 ever
 vansnailismylife
 Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where
 we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took
 role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom
 On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At
 first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we
 just started tackling the ist of tasks. Task 1-the test. Everybody took it silently,
 no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two tidy up the
 room, So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of
 the room. Task Three Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us.
 So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the
 teacher After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING She was so upset
 we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been
 texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they
 were too nice She tied to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild
 because it meant her class didnt get the point across
 hookedonafeeeling
 That's because lord of the flies isnt representative of humanity its
 representative of rich white male shitheads

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Android, Arsenal, and News: a75N 1234 AM Thread ta You Retweet.ed wyatt aSayWhenLA BREAKING Holy fk. Seventy-two killed resisting gun confiscation in Boston. National Guard units seek- ing to confiscate a cache of recently banned assault weapons were ambushed by elements of a Para-military extremist faction. 10:58 PM 09 Aug 19 Twitter for Android 3,916 Retweets 5,899 Likes Wyatt @SayWhenLA ld Replying to @SayWhenLA Military and law enforcement sources estimate that 72 were- killed and more than 200 injured before government forces were compelled to withdraw. Speaking after the clash, Governor Thomas Gage declared that the extremist faction, which was made up of local citizens, 29 tn 543 1,420 Wyatt @SayWhenLA Id has links to the radical right-wing tax protest movement. Gage blamed the extremists for recent incidents of vandalism directed against internal revenue offices. The governor, who described the group's organizers as 'criminals," just issued an executive order authorizing the 12t 420 1267 wyatt SayWhenLA ld summary arrest of any individual who has interfered with the government's efforts to secure law and order. The military raid on the extremist arsenal followed wide-spread refusal by the local citizenry to turn over recently outlawed assault weapons 1n 417 129 WyattSayWhenLA Id Gage issued a ban on military-style assault weapons and ammunition earlier in the woek. This decision followed a meeting in early this month between govermment and military leaders at which the governor authorized the forcible confiscation of illegal arms. 1 400 190 Wyatt SayWhenLA ld One government official, speaking on condition of anonymity pointed out that "none of these people would have been killed had the extremists obeyed the law and turned over their weapons voluntarily. Government troops initially succeeded in confiscating a large supply of 183 Wyatt SayWhenLA ld outlawed weapons and ammunition. However, troops attempting to seize arms and ammunition in Lexington met with resistance from heavily armed extremists who had been tipped aff regarding the government's plans. During a tense standoff in the Lexington town park, National Guard t 1209 1 0 Wyatt SayWhenLA Id Colonel Francis Smith, commander of the government operation, ordered the armed group to surrender and return to their homes. The impasse was broken by a single shot, which was repartedly fired by one of the right-wing extremists. tu 3s0 160 Q1360 Wyatt SayWhenLA Id Eight civilians were killed in the Aensuing exchange. Ironically, the local citizenry blamed government forces rather than the extremists for the civilian deaths. Before order could be restored, armed citizens from surrounding areas had descended upon the guard units 1 409 1224 Wyatt @SayWhenLA Id Colonel Smith, finding his forces aver matched by the armed mob, ordered a retreat. Governor Gage has called upon citizens to support the state national joint task force in its effort to restore law and order. n 367 uTO Wyatt @SayWhenLA Id The governor also demanded the surrender of those responsible for planning and leading the attack against the government troops t 1202 6 n 38 WyattSayWhenLA Id Samuel Adams, Paul Revere, and John Hancock, who have been identified as ringleaders" of the extremist faction, remain at large. And this fellow Americans, is how the American Revolution began, April 20, 1775 n u34 254 Wyatt SayWhenLA Id On July 4th, 1776 these same extremists as Bill Mitchell calls them, signed the Declaration of Independence, pledging to each ather and their countrymen their lives, fortunes, & sacred honor. Many of them lost everything, aver the course of the next few years. Lest we forget.. un 504 JusticeForEricGarmer @th.. Id Tweet your reply Breaking News: History is important
Android, Arsenal, and News: a75N 1234 AM
 Thread
 ta You Retweet.ed
 wyatt
 aSayWhenLA
 BREAKING Holy fk.
 Seventy-two killed resisting
 gun confiscation in Boston.
 National Guard units seek-
 ing to confiscate a cache
 of recently banned assault
 weapons were ambushed by
 elements of a Para-military
 extremist faction.
 10:58 PM 09 Aug 19 Twitter for
 Android
 3,916 Retweets 5,899 Likes
 Wyatt @SayWhenLA ld
 Replying to @SayWhenLA
 Military and law enforcement
 sources estimate that 72 were-
 killed and more than 200 injured
 before government forces were
 compelled to withdraw.
 Speaking after the clash, Governor
 Thomas Gage declared that the
 extremist faction, which was made
 up of local citizens,
 29 tn 543
 1,420
 Wyatt @SayWhenLA Id
 has links to the radical right-wing
 tax protest movement.
 Gage blamed the extremists for
 recent incidents of vandalism
 directed against internal revenue
 offices. The governor, who
 described the group's organizers
 as 'criminals," just issued an
 executive order authorizing the
 12t 420 1267
 wyatt SayWhenLA ld
 summary arrest of any individual
 who has interfered with the
 government's efforts to secure law
 and order.
 The military raid on the extremist
 arsenal followed wide-spread
 refusal by the local citizenry to
 turn over recently outlawed
 assault weapons
 1n 417
 129
 WyattSayWhenLA Id
 Gage issued a ban on
 military-style assault weapons
 and ammunition earlier in the
 woek. This decision followed a
 meeting in early this month
 between govermment and military
 leaders at which the governor
 authorized the forcible
 confiscation of illegal arms.
 1 400 190
 Wyatt SayWhenLA ld
 One government official, speaking
 on condition of anonymity
 pointed out that "none of these
 people would have been killed had
 the extremists obeyed the law and
 turned over their weapons
 voluntarily.
 Government troops initially
 succeeded in confiscating a large
 supply of
 183
 Wyatt SayWhenLA ld
 outlawed weapons and
 ammunition. However, troops
 attempting to seize arms and
 ammunition in Lexington met with
 resistance from heavily armed
 extremists who had been tipped
 aff regarding the government's
 plans.
 During a tense standoff in the
 Lexington town park, National
 Guard
 t 1209
 1 0
 Wyatt SayWhenLA Id
 Colonel Francis Smith,
 commander of the government
 operation, ordered the armed
 group to surrender and return to
 their homes. The impasse was
 broken by a single shot, which was
 repartedly fired by one
 of the
 right-wing extremists.
 tu 3s0 160
 Q1360
 Wyatt SayWhenLA Id
 Eight civilians were killed in the
 Aensuing exchange.
 Ironically, the local citizenry
 blamed government forces rather
 than the extremists for the civilian
 deaths. Before order could be
 restored, armed citizens from
 surrounding areas had descended
 upon the guard units
 1 409 1224
 Wyatt @SayWhenLA Id
 Colonel Smith, finding his forces
 aver matched by the armed mob,
 ordered a retreat.
 Governor Gage has called upon
 citizens to support the state
 national joint task force in its
 effort to restore law and order.
 n 367
 uTO
 Wyatt @SayWhenLA Id
 The governor also demanded the
 surrender of those responsible for
 planning and leading the attack
 against the government troops
 t 1202
 6
 n 38
 WyattSayWhenLA Id
 Samuel Adams, Paul Revere, and
 John Hancock, who have been
 identified as ringleaders" of the
 extremist faction, remain at large.
 And this fellow Americans, is how
 the American Revolution began,
 April 20, 1775
 n u34 254
 Wyatt SayWhenLA Id
 On July 4th, 1776 these same
 extremists as Bill Mitchell calls
 them, signed the Declaration of
 Independence, pledging to each
 ather and their countrymen their
 lives, fortunes, & sacred honor.
 Many of them lost everything,
 aver the course of the next few
 years. Lest we forget..
 un 504
 JusticeForEricGarmer @th.. Id
 Tweet your reply
Breaking News: History is important

Breaking News: History is important