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Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Stand Between: 10:30 all LTE Baby if you were words on a page you'd be fine print Tuesday 6:45 AM I think I lost my tongue can you put yours in my mouth?? Tuesday 10:40 PM I lost my keys check your pants can I Tuesday 10:57 PM I don't want anything to stand between our love ...except latex I have a big headache hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What do you say we go upstairs and work out a remedy We're looking at the same fucking pickup lines lol Type a message Send GIF It happens

Stand Between: 10:30
all LTE
Baby if you were words on a page
you'd be fine print
Tuesday 6:45 AM
I think I lost my tongue
can you put yours in my mouth??
Tuesday 10:40 PM
I lost my keys
check your pants
can I
Tuesday 10:57 PM
I don't want anything to stand
between our love
...except latex
I have a big headache
hear the best cure for headaches
is sex. What do you say we go
upstairs and work out a remedy
We're looking at the same fucking
pickup lines lol
Type a message
Send
GIF
It happens

Stand Between: 10:30
all LTE
Baby if you were words on a page
you'd be fine print
Tuesday 6:45 AM
I think I lost my tongue
can you put yours in my mouth??
Tuesday 10:40 PM
I lost my keys
check your pants
can I
Tuesday 10:57 PM
I don't want anything to stand
between our love
...except latex
I have a big headache
hear the best cure for headaches
is sex. What do you say we go
upstairs and work out a remedy
We're looking at the same fucking
pickup lines lol
Type a message
Send
GIF
It happens

It happens

Stand Between: Warriors are not always the fastest or strongest men VVarriors are those who choose to stand between their enemy and all that they love or hold sacred

Stand Between: Warriors are not always the
fastest or strongest men
VVarriors are those who
choose to stand between
their enemy and all that
they love or hold sacred

Stand Between: Warriors are not always the
fastest or strongest men
VVarriors are those who
choose to stand between
their enemy and all that
they love or hold sacred

Stand Between: earlploddington:these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington:these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington:these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

earlploddington:these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington: these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington:
these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington:
these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

earlploddington: these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: eternalgirlscout me: *happens to stand between multiple light sources and casts two shadows because that's how shadows work* my brain, still to this day, every single time: Source: eternalgirlscout The Shadows of Intrigue

Stand Between: eternalgirlscout
me: *happens to stand between
multiple light sources and casts two
shadows because that's how shadows
work*
my brain, still to this day, every single
time:
Source: eternalgirlscout
The Shadows of Intrigue

Stand Between: eternalgirlscout
me: *happens to stand between
multiple light sources and casts two
shadows because that's how shadows
work*
my brain, still to this day, every single
time:
Source: eternalgirlscout
The Shadows of Intrigue

The Shadows of Intrigue

Stand Between: earlploddington:these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington:these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington:these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

earlploddington:these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington: these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington:
these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: earlploddington:
these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

earlploddington: these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Stand Between: FIRST TIME HAVING SEX I know its REALLY Long, but it is worth the read. You will be very glad you read it When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination. I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me.I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days. Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed. I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool. Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks. Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But somehow I still get hard and we go to town. She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you cum in my mouth." I fucking love women. So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it. She stuck her finger up my ass. My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter. No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEwwwwwwww" butI always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits. I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It smelled like someone rolled a cat in shit and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain. Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my condition). There was a small pool of blood where my ass had been. A final reminder of the exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days. I grab my shit with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes. I stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest shit of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this. Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a shit and walk out of the bathroom you think "hey not so bad today, but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY SHIT!". It was one of those moments. The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but at this point I considered it a blessing I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles. Then I left. I avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I shit on her. And it was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me LeFunny.net You will be very glad you read it…

Stand Between: FIRST TIME HAVING SEX
I know its REALLY Long, but it is worth the read. You will be very glad you read it
When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect
of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and
my final destination.
I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also
an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite
solid while still inside me.I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought
everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. bring this up because I had a
mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.
Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always
a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed. I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's
been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights
off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she
was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.
Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks.
Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and
the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But
somehow I still get hard and we go to town. She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her
over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my
built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me
how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you cum
in my mouth." I fucking love women.
So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least
she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if
you like this". Then I feel it.
She stuck her finger up my ass.
My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three
year old virgin. But its too late
I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.
No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and
multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me
And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane
force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark
brown, smelly harpoon
I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD
OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEwwwwwwww" butI always imagined that, due to her position,
it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits. I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I
heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It
smelled like someone rolled a cat in shit and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to
date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the
blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain.
Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was
bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my
condition). There was a small pool of blood where my ass had been. A final reminder of the
exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days.
I grab my shit with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the
toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes. I
stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest shit of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my
leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of
this.
Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I
skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the
bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her
parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a shit and walk out of the bathroom you
think "hey not so bad today, but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY
SHIT!". It was one of those moments.
The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time
smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand
candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the
comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom
sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but
at this point I considered it a blessing
I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not
even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles. Then I left. I
avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what
happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I shit on her. And it
was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably
as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most
embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me
LeFunny.net
You will be very glad you read it…

Stand Between: FIRST TIME HAVING SEX
I know its REALLY Long, but it is worth the read. You will be very glad you read it
When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect
of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and
my final destination.
I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also
an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite
solid while still inside me.I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought
everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. bring this up because I had a
mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.
Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always
a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed. I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's
been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights
off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she
was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.
Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks.
Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and
the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But
somehow I still get hard and we go to town. She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her
over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my
built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me
how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you cum
in my mouth." I fucking love women.
So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least
she tried. She pops my cock out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if
you like this". Then I feel it.
She stuck her finger up my ass.
My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three
year old virgin. But its too late
I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.
No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and
multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me
And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane
force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark
brown, smelly harpoon
I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD
OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEwwwwwwww" butI always imagined that, due to her position,
it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits. I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I
heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It
smelled like someone rolled a cat in shit and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to
date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the
blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain.
Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was
bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my
condition). There was a small pool of blood where my ass had been. A final reminder of the
exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days.
I grab my shit with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the
toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes. I
stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest shit of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my
leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of
this.
Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I
skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the
bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her
parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a shit and walk out of the bathroom you
think "hey not so bad today, but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY
SHIT!". It was one of those moments.
The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time
smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand
candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the
comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom
sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but
at this point I considered it a blessing
I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not
even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles. Then I left. I
avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what
happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I shit on her. And it
was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably
as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most
embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me
LeFunny.net
You will be very glad you read it…

You will be very glad you read it…

Stand Between: Things French parents say to their kids ambrena: ewnor: jadisjavaisuncoeur: nous-les-cancres: nope-not-true: When we forget to turn off a light: C'est pas Versailles ici ! Hey, we're not in Versailles ! When we stand between them and something they want to see: Et ton père, il est vitrier ? Is your father a glazier? When you are hungry but the dinner is not ready yet Ben mange ta main et garde l'autre pour demain ! Well, eat your hand and save the other one for tomorrow! What's for dinner ? Des caillous. Pebbles. When you lie too obviously : Et mon cul c'est du poulet. And my ass is made of chicken. When you are in a bad mood : Mange des carottes, ça rend aimable. Eat some carrots, youll be nicer When you are throwing a tantrum : Pleure un coup, tu pisseras moins. Go on and cry, youll piss less. And the world wonders why we are so sassy. Source: nope-not-true French thingsomg-humor.tumblr.com

Stand Between: Things French parents say to
their kids
ambrena:
ewnor:
jadisjavaisuncoeur:
nous-les-cancres:
nope-not-true:
When we forget to turn off a light:
C'est pas Versailles ici !
Hey, we're not in Versailles !
When we stand between them and something they want
to see:
Et ton père, il est vitrier ?
Is your father a glazier?
When you are hungry but the dinner is not ready yet
Ben mange ta main et garde l'autre pour demain !
Well, eat your hand and save the other one for tomorrow!
What's for dinner ?
Des caillous.
Pebbles.
When you lie too obviously :
Et mon cul c'est du poulet.
And my ass is made of chicken.
When you are in a bad mood :
Mange des carottes, ça rend aimable.
Eat some carrots, youll be nicer
When you are throwing a tantrum :
Pleure un coup, tu pisseras moins.
Go on and cry, youll piss less.
And the world wonders why we are so sassy.
Source: nope-not-true
French thingsomg-humor.tumblr.com

Stand Between: Things French parents say to
their kids
ambrena:
ewnor:
jadisjavaisuncoeur:
nous-les-cancres:
nope-not-true:
When we forget to turn off a light:
C'est pas Versailles ici !
Hey, we're not in Versailles !
When we stand between them and something they want
to see:
Et ton père, il est vitrier ?
Is your father a glazier?
When you are hungry but the dinner is not ready yet
Ben mange ta main et garde l'autre pour demain !
Well, eat your hand and save the other one for tomorrow!
What's for dinner ?
Des caillous.
Pebbles.
When you lie too obviously :
Et mon cul c'est du poulet.
And my ass is made of chicken.
When you are in a bad mood :
Mange des carottes, ça rend aimable.
Eat some carrots, youll be nicer
When you are throwing a tantrum :
Pleure un coup, tu pisseras moins.
Go on and cry, youll piss less.
And the world wonders why we are so sassy.
Source: nope-not-true
French thingsomg-humor.tumblr.com

French thingsomg-humor.tumblr.com