✅ 25+ Best Memes About Sounds

Club, Head, and MacBook Pro: Today 8:45 PM Hey man, you still have the MacBook Pro? Yeah What's the lowest you'll take? Lowest I'll go is $700 $200? Sure why not Ok where do you want to meet 101 main in Burlington in about 10 minutes? Sounds good Hey I'm here Cool, head inside Into the comedy club? Yeah. Then head up on the stage and tell your jokes to somebody else Delivered They had s in ts.irkshali notgonna lie

MeIRL, Make A, and Fart: When you make a noise that sounds like a fart but isn't so you hastily try to recreate it to prove to everyone it wasn't a fart Meirl

Meirl

Fancy, Science, and How: Ke o chil Ke orth 'I know more about forensic science than forensic scientists because I've watched every season of Forensic Files' Sounds stupid, right? That's how antivaxers sound to medical professionals. Get vaccinated. 00 I think he might be dead imgflip.com That’s just fancy talk

That’s just fancy talk

Tumblr, Wikipedia, and Alarm: profmeowmers Yeehaw Junction 441 i've found it, the promised land notsweettea JSCY BURGERS vsantangelos Yeehaw Junction, Florida From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Yeehaw Junction is a census-designated place (CDP) in census, and the correct data for the area was not recorde Yeehaw Junction is part of the Orlando-Kissimmee Metro Contents [hide] 1 Geography 2 History 2.1 Biological warfare experiment 3 Demographics 4 Present day 5 References floridaoranges I've been here! There a truck stop and a diner. In the women's bathroom there's a fully clothed statue and if you try to pull down the pants, an alarm sounds in the whole diner pleafromacatnamedvirtue Reading this post is like having a stroke. Source: profmeowmers notes pike (Toll road) 15+ Tumblr Posts That Are So Damn COOL – The Webly

15+ Tumblr Posts That Are So Damn COOL – The Webly

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Beard, Smooth, and Tinder: 65% 65% So, would you prefer a classic Tinder pickup line, or the more modest "hey how's it going"? Haha so what are your plans tonight, wanna go into town and ruffle a few feathers? Ohhh sounds like I might be the chick for you! Hit me with the classic, too many guys are modest. Extra points if you make me laugh. Hahaha! Glad to see you coming out of your shell - we might just be birds of a feather! Ok, if you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable. Hahaha stop being an egg! Hahahaha that made my night! Hm, well, if you're a chicken and I'm an egg, do we need to start having a conversation about who's Haha so what are your plans tonight, wanna go into town and ruffle a few feathers? going to come first...? Ohhh sounds like I might be the chick for you! By the beard of Zeus that was smooth... Message Message Send Send I found my soul mate on tinder chat

I found my soul mate on tinder chat

Birthday, Fake, and Meme: A O 12 Not A Fake Contact 125 A What should I get Tyler for his birthday NSomething that has to do with memes Yeah that sounds cool But which meme though? Just screenshot this and put it on a Nshirt NHell wear anything Type an SMS message D800 A thoughtfully insulting shirt.

A thoughtfully insulting shirt.

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Gif, Hello, and Lol: Hello there Today 4:24 PM Hi! Today 5:47 PM If you're real, say potato Today 6:26 PM Potato Today 7:09 PM Alright you passed all my tests Haha pretty high tech security system you have in place Yeah my firewall is pretty out of date. Let's way too many red flags through Lol awe man. Sounds like you need to invest in Norton or something That's way too good of an idea. Maybel can do password protection. What's the password? Potato$#9 Incorrect. You have two more tries before you're locked out.Would you like a password hint? Auh shit. This literally always happens to me. Yes I need a hint It's in the format (xxx)xxx-xxxx Type a message... GIF I haven’t begun to peak

I haven’t begun to peak

Fucking, Shit, and Thought: thought id make some pancakes tonight, flipped the pancake and almost fucking shit my pants HOLY SHIT NO00 0000 pancake tuesday! Sounds very scary

Sounds very scary

Fancy, Science, and How: Ke o chil Ke orth 'I know more about forensic science than forensic scientists because I've watched every season of Forensic Files' Sounds stupid, right? That's how antivaxers sound to medical professionals. Get vaccinated. 00 I think he might be dead imgflip.com That’s just fancy talk

That’s just fancy talk

Dank, Memes, and Target: Ke o chil Ke orth 'I know more about forensic science than forensic scientists because I've watched every season of Forensic Files' Sounds stupid, right? That's how antivaxers sound to medical professionals. Get vaccinated. 00 I think he might be dead imgflip.com That’s just fancy talk by crashdaddy MORE MEMES

That’s just fancy talk by crashdaddy MORE MEMES

Music, Tumblr, and Blog: THAT'S RIGHT I HEARD THE STORY OVER HAPPILY AND OVER WAITING AGAIN ALL ON MY OWN Усu xyroni: Spinel in a waistcoat because her song sounds like an Electro Swing which is one of my favorite music genre! (except the right one, I just want to draw her again with her other song)

xyroni: Spinel in a waistcoat because her song sounds like an Electro Swing which is one of my favorite music genre! (except the right...

Life, Target, and The Game: IOWE YOU EVERYTHING I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU SAVED ME henriettafoxes: “Who is Erik?” “Oh, he’s my husband,” Nicky said happily. “Or will be, eventually.” * “He taught me to believe in myself. He showed me how to balance my faith and my sexuality, and he made me okay again. I know it sounds dramatic, but he saved my life.” - All For the Game, Nora Sakavic A nerik moodboard requested by @blurredmxnds

henriettafoxes: “Who is Erik?” “Oh, he’s my husband,” Nicky said happily. “Or will be, eventually.” * “He taught me to believe in myself. H...

Apple, Beautiful, and Brains: airborneranger63 Do u ever think about how dogs, who have 2 colour receptors, see an apple as grayish yellow, while humans have 3 and see it as red, and mantis shrimp have 12, and see it another monstrous colour altogether? How none of us are necessarily correct, and the apple itself, is not really any colour, it's just a fruit minding its own goddamn business?? Fucking fascinating airborneranger63 We don't know how ANYTHING TASTES, SOUNDS,LOOKS, FEELS, OR SMELLS madness-to-my-method If you think about it just a bit too much like I did, you'll reach the conclusion that nothing really tastes, sounds, looks, feels or smells. It's just your brain's interpretation of chemical composition, vibrations, the way things reflect light, more vibrations and chemical composition again just-watch-me-hachiko Reality can't be proven to exist outside of our ability to perceive it through our senses but our senses can't be trusted so basically nothing is real do what you want asundergrowth RESISTA Today on Tumblr Accidentally Recapitulates Wittgenstein's Theory of Experiential Epistomology asundergrowth RESISTA Tfw you shitpost so hard you accidentally write a beautiful summary of the defining breakthrough of 20th century philosophy. Source: airborneranger63 38,253 notes

Brain, Stutter, and Argument: Me planning every possible way an argument could go and always end up winning* *Argument happens and start to stutter* My brain: haven't programmed that path yet *Dyslexic Sounds*

*Dyslexic Sounds*

Fun, They, and Call: NOT SURE IF UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH PERSON BECAUSE THEY ARE BUSY OR IF THEY ARE AVOIDING ME “ Sounds fun! Just call me in the morning and I’m in”

“ Sounds fun! Just call me in the morning and I’m in”

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Drunk, Gif, and Yeah: 1 47% 19:38 Georgia YOU MATCHED WITH GEORGIA ON 05/09/2019. Hey wanna hear a joke? Today 16:39 Yeah sure Today 17:27 A blind man walks into a bar And then a chair Then a table.. Today 18:28 The man sounds drunk Today 18:52 The man would be if he could find the bar Today 19:07 Well why can't the man find the bar? Read the joke again... Ohh is the man blind?? Sent So is he? Type a message. Send GIF Plenty of fish they said…

Plenty of fish they said…

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Animals, Cute, and Dogs: Chris Bramwell @ChrisBramwell A month ago Dusty found half a pie in this bush, so every day until the end of time we must closely inspect the Magic Pie Bush. "Dusty and the Magic Pie Bush" sounds like an adorable children's book about dogs, doesn't it? #Memes #Dogs #Animals #Cute

"Dusty and the Magic Pie Bush" sounds like an adorable children's book about dogs, doesn't it? #Memes #Dogs #Animals #Cute

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook New Aad Cl Ad F Sn Epem MAN SKILLS By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich &Ben H. Wioiss THE COAIPLETE How To GIVE A DoG THE How to Perform the Heimlich HEIMLICH MANEUVER Maneuver on Your Cat 1 Check for throat obstructions Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat, looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see it, carefully tongue forward for a better view Kneel and hold the cat in front of you, close to your chest. Place one forearm under the remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the cat's front legs and hold him up and out- stretched, facing away 2 Shake the obstruction free If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind legs from you. Place the fist of your other hand just below the bottom so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed the next step. to rib. Give two or three 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist. With the dog standing together around the stomach, placing them just below the last rib quick, firm pushes inward to force the air lying down, clasp your hands or out of the lungs and dislodge the object 4 Compress the stomach Push up five times rapidly How To SAVE YOURSELF 5 Check for an obstruction Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object dislodged FROM CHOKING was 1 Try to talk. you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person Heimlich maneuver 6 Repeat. If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly If between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the object is knocked free 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level. If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree stump, fence, ledge, or large rock 3 Face the object. 4 Bend over the object. Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above your navel 5 Fall Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object This movement should force the air up your windpipe and eject the item that is blocking your airway Place your arms around the dog's waist below the last rib and compress the stomach WARNING! An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him. choking 69 How To TREAT SUNBURN 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not apply any suntan lotion to the burn. Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool- How To DEAL WITH INSOMNIA ing air Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol. Stretch or do light exercise an hour before 2 Put a cool compress on the sunburn Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad, wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress bed. A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension Take a warm bath. A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn area is very large Eat a bedtime snack. Drink warm milk or herbal tea. 3 Drink three to six ounces of water. Cover illuminated clocks Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help the skin by promoting sweating. to cool Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your to es. 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn. Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it feels cool to the skin Think pleasant thoughts. oCount sheep. 5 Take a pain pill and lie still Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all symptoms that could point to something sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor How to Cure Hiccups worse than a ild WARNING! Always higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into the sun. use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are stronger near the equator and at high altitudes. Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke, which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion has progressed to heatstroke NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as two days or as long the burn Fill a tall glass with water front of you, lean forward over the glass mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt Holding the glass in so that your as two weeks, depending upon the severity of the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and the top away from you; drink the water as it moves toward the front of the glass ailments 51 awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

awesomage: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

Af, Drinking, and Drunk: He got drunk and emailed his teacher. His teacher actually responded... o00 AT&T O00 AT&Ts 10:18 AM 10:25 AM Inbox (67) Sent Patrick mr Martin Sounds like you had a great night. I will extend your paper deadline to Wednesday at 11:59 PM. It must be submitted to turnitin.com Just letting u kno that u r a motherfuckn g and I'm sorry that u r bald. Lol If u want I can hook u go with a girl who can get ur hair back and keep u bangin. Please refer to my syllabus for information on how to submit your paper. Also I just needed to ask u for an extension on my paper. I'm really fucked Iappreciate your concern for my bald head. My wife likes it and I don't get paid rn and will b sick af tomorrow. enough to get hair implants. Keep slayin boi and I forgot to do school loop again On a side note... What were you drinking last night? Next time you email me id like a bottle of whatever you had so I don't have Love u and c u Monday Good fuckn yard to remember what you said. Patrick Davidson Good yard Sent from my iPhone -Mr. Martin ת.

Nelly, White, and You: Nelly @RoGunnz My coworker said he was going camping for 6 days and l accidentally said "sounds about white".... now we gotta have a meeting Becky in HR would like to see you

Becky in HR would like to see you

Facebook, Omg, and Saw: Red @redgermz Saw this on Facebook and sent it to my brother, who is a pharmacist. Unsa man na b 10:29 AM Paracetamol OMG pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also posted this too Omg Mediglyphics This shit’s infuriating Oh, this is a type of shorthand! There are 3 main types, but from my research, this looks to be American Gregg Shorthand. As you can see, there are set symbols for every letter. Let’s break one of the words down: Using the Gregg Alphabet as reference, we can see most of the letters in “atrophied” are present. But why no “o” vowel, and why is “ph” written as “f”? Simple. In shorthand, you cut out all vowels in a word when writing it down, with the exception of words that BEGIN or END with a vowel (hence the “a” at the start being present), or like in the “i” in “atrophied”, to make it more readable when the sound could be harder to distinguish if it isn’t written. In “atrophied” if the the “i” isn’t written, it could be hard to tell if the writer meant a “fud”, “fad”, “fod” or “fid” sound, for example. Also, since Shorthand is a phonetic writing system, you are encouraged to write down the phonetic sounds of words rather than the actual letter blends - in this case, write an “f” instead of a “ph”. So in actuality, these aren’t just meaningless scribbles - it’s Gregg Shorthand, a writing system developed to take down notes more quickly than when written out in full, which is very useful in a medical or journalistic environment. Some people can even write over 100 words in a minute! And, it’s been in use since John Robert Gregg invented it in 1888! Wow! So old! Isn’t language amazing~? Ya tenéis traductor.

pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also posted this too Omg Mediglyphics ...

Clothes, College, and Energy: bananonbinary one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted KidTM is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40 % , even 20 % job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving. DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU'RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE. redheadhatchet One of my college professors used to say "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly." I didn't understand that for years because I didn't do anything poorly, couldn't do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don't have the energy to go anywhere. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly...because doing it poorly is better than not doing it. awesomacious: I felt this on a personal level and wanted to share

awesomacious: I felt this on a personal level and wanted to share

Disney, Movies, and Saw: Hey, Judy. l'd just like to say l'm sorry for the way l behaved in my youth I had a lot of self-doubt and it manifested itself in the form of unchecked rage and agression I was a major jerk. whimmy-bam: toggle-woggs: cloperella: I was thrilled to pieces when I saw this scene. Disney could have written Gideon off like some bully character who never really amounted to anything, or got what was coming to him like a lot of those characters do in their movies. Gideon made something of himself. He’s a pastry chef, something that’s not traditionally a job for men in media. And as soon as Judy speaks to him, he immediately apologizes to her. He doesn’t try to shrug it off as no big deal, or say that it was just boys being boys or whatever; he knows he hurt her, and he owns up to it. And Judy immediately forgives him. Well done, Disney. Also the language that he used is not something that he would have most likely grown up hearing/using. Describing his failings as self-doubt that manifested into “unchecked rage and aggression” sounds SO MUCH like therapy speak. So he’s either gotten counseling to help him with some of his problems, or sought out literature to help himself. A++ disney :) This movie is a treasure.

whimmy-bam: toggle-woggs: cloperella: I was thrilled to pieces when I saw this scene. Disney could have written Gideon off like some bully...

Instagram, Trash, and Tumblr: me: yo pass the aux cord friend: u better not play trash me: Air Conditioner 10 hours of relaxing ambient sounds asmr 3.2M views Download 22K 1.8K Share Save melonmemes: Follow us on instagram for the best content!: https://www.instagram.com/realmelonmemes

melonmemes: Follow us on instagram for the best content!: https://www.instagram.com/realmelonmemes

Huh, True, and Work: Alexandre Kouyoumdjian, PhD Human-Computer Interaction, Université Paris-Saclay (2018) + Answered Aug 23 Upvoted by Sayantan Das, B.tech Computer Science (2020) and Ankit Sharma, MS Computer Science, Northeastern University (2016) My wife Hey, look, I found a job offer for a research position: "Compiler research scientist". That sounds great, you should apply! Ме - Hmm, I'm sure that's really interesting work, but I don't really know much about compiling What are you talking about? My wife Ме - Huh? Well, it's true. I mean, I did take one class about compiling back when I was working toward my bachelor's, but that was ages ago, and just one class But you're always working next to My wife me and constantly telling me that you're compiling! I found that adorable. Damn that was way too adorable! Compiling != expert in compiler

Damn that was way too adorable! Compiling != expert in compiler

You, Cave, and Get: When You Get Stuck In A Cave And Your Pickaxe Breaks *Rapid Punching Sounds*

*Rapid Punching Sounds*

God, Lol, and Popeyes: Popeyes Chicken @Popeyes Chicken Sounds like someone just ate one of our biscuits Cause y'all looking thirsty. WENDY'S SPICY NUGGETS ARE BACK!!! @Wendys lol, guess that means the food's as dry as the jokes Good god now these two

Good god now these two

Nelly, White, and You: Nelly @RoGunnz My coworker said he was going camping for 6 days and l accidentally said "sounds about white".... now we gotta have a meeting Becky in HR would like to see you

Becky in HR would like to see you

Dank, Memes, and Nelly: Nelly @RoGunnz My coworker said he was going camping for 6 days and l accidentally said "sounds about white".... now we gotta have a meeting Becky in HR would like to see you by viachicago22 MORE MEMES

Becky in HR would like to see you by viachicago22 MORE MEMES

Nelly, White, and You: Nelly @RoGunnz My coworker said he was going camping for 6 days and l accidentally said "sounds about white".... now we gotta have a meeting Becky in HR would like to see you

Becky in HR would like to see you

Love, Awkward, and Cool: Joy 2 hours ago "RM" sounds awkward though, what is he going to say when people ask him what RM stands for s 3 A Reply Ohnaara Joy an hour ago RM is for Rich Motherfucker 5 A Reply HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I love RM though! Sounds cool and mature at the same time!

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I love RM though! Sounds cool and mature at the same time!

Being Alone, Crying, and Dude: thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie: gucciballs: thejorie: peble: thejorie: My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed. do they smoke weed? Yes, actually. you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,) They don’t look like they smoke weed. Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad. Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle. I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING Well that escalated quickly…… What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body* haha oh my god who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes. love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”. and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”. “the goo pile that is now your body” i’m dying over here, jesus please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun. *shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.* this dude playin omg Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie:...

Clothes, Cute, and Sears: official-daft-punk ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like "oh are you expecting?" And i was like "uhhhh" and because im a dumbass i was like "no i already delivered." And she was like "How long ago?" And i was just like "two weeks." And she said "wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?" And i was just awkwardly like "a girl...." And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like "oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar." And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for fl g baby opossum my quitoito every time i see this text post i forget the ending and every single time it decimates me

Love, I Love You, and Home: People don't always say; I love you. Sometimes it sounds like; Be safe. Did you eat? Call when you get home. I made you this. -Unknown Author RELATIONSHIP RULES

Charlie, Chris Evans, and Drunk: whatshouldntbe: whatagrump: spideyjlaw: oh just a drunk chris evans at the age of ultron prem to brighten up your day drunk chris evan sounds and acts like charlie day in always sunny I went into this video skeptical but y’all right

whatshouldntbe: whatagrump: spideyjlaw: oh just a drunk chris evans at the age of ultron prem to brighten up your day drunk chris evan sou...

Love, I Love You, and Home: People don't always say; I love you. Sometimes it sounds like; Be safe. Did you eat? Call me when you get home. I made you this.

Clothes, College, and Energy: bananonbinary one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted KidTM is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40 % , even 20 % job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving. DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU'RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE. redheadhatchet One of my college professors used to say "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly." I didn't understand that for years because I didn't do anything poorly, couldn't do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don't have the energy to go anywhere. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly...because doing it poorly is better than not doing it. I felt this on a personal level and wanted to share

I felt this on a personal level and wanted to share

Gif, Good, and Threesome: 1:52 am oo EE 3G 10 52% Logan YOU MATCHED WITH LOGAN ON 21/04/2017 Threesome? With who Your preferred female friend Sounds good Who's the third person Me ? Oh Then no Sent Send Type a message... GIF Then no

Then no

Children, Target, and Transgender: Jason Ball Following @jasonballau EXCLUSIVE: Huge surge in left handed students not long after schools stop beating them for being left handed. The Daily Telegraph @dailytelegraph EXCLUSIVE: TEACHERS are being trained to identify potential transgender children in the classroom and experts say that has contributed to a 200 per cent surge in the number of kids wanting to change their gender in the past three years. Via @DanielleGuss bit.ly/2wFVVr7 7:16 PM - 5 Sep 2018 1,180 Retweets 3,399 Likes t 1.2K 48 3.4K transapphic: thebaconsandwichofregret: theauspolchronicles: (teachers literally did that) Also remember that percentages are relative. 200% sounds like a lot. But if you had only one visibly trans student in 4 years then a 200% increase would mean that there are now 3 visibly trans students in 4 years. Also a good point

transapphic: thebaconsandwichofregret: theauspolchronicles: (teachers literally did that) Also remember that percentages are relative. 20...

Being Alone, Dad, and Nerd: MOM, DAD THERE'S SOMEONE OUTSDE MY WINDEW AND...? iM SORRY YouR PARENTS ARE SUCH ASSHOLES LEAVE US ALONE YoU LITTLE NERD Y V THINK WANNA SEE THAT SHITP THAT SOUNDS SCARY AS HELL IT'S FINE YEAH bigger problems

bigger problems

Af, Drinking, and Drunk: He got drunk and emailed his teacher. His teacher actually responded... o00 AT&T 000 AT&Ts 10:18 AM 10:25 AM Inbox (67) Sent Patrick, mr Martin Sounds like you had a great night. I will Just letting u kno that u r a motherfuckn g and I'm sorry that u r bald. Lol extend your paper deadline to Wednesday at 11:59 PM. It must be submitted to turnitin.com If u want I can hook u go with a girl who can get ur hair back and keep u bangin. Please refer to my syllabus for information on how to submit your paper. Also I just needed to ask u for an extension on my paper. I'm really fucked Iappreciate your concern for my bald head. My wife likes it and I don't get paid rn and will b sick af tomorrow enough to get hair implants. Keep slayin boi and I forgot to do school loop again On a side note... What were you drinking last night? Next time you email me id like a bottle of whatever you had so I don't have Love u and c u Monday Good fuckn yard to remember what you said. Patrick Davidson Good yard Sent from my iPhone Mr. Martin וק Meirl

Meirl

Lego, What, and Feels: What PC building sounds like What PC building feels like PC = Lego

PC = Lego

Ass, Cute, and Disappointed: Alix YOU MATCHED WITH ALIX ON 2/17/19 Alix, I wrote you a poem Rose's are red, you're cute as a duck. Let's go on a date, and then we can cuddle. Today 10:53 AM Are you forgetting something on that last line of the poem? Today 1:27 PM Hmm, you're right. We should probably change the ending to make it rhyme Today 1:45 PM Roses are red Your date idea sounds alright But please don't leave me disappointed at the end of the night Today 8:32 PM Roses are red, you sure have some sass. I hope you're this feisty, when I'm tapping that ass. Today 9:56 PM Roses are red I will have you shiver right down to the core Please you like no one has And leave you begging for more First you must please my intellect And then you can "tap my ass" I'm not sure if you're ready For this naughty girls sass I can be a bit to handle Don't be distracted by my ambitions and drive. Are you up for the challenge? Or will you back down and hide? Today 10:13 PM Promises promises, don't threaten a good time. I hope you can deliver better than you can rhyme. Your sharp intellect, I can certainly please. If that's all it takes, you'll soon be on your knees. I won't be distracted, I can handle mine. How about we we settle this, over a bottle of wine. Sent CB Type a message Send GIF Stitch It Bitches Love Poetry

Bitches Love Poetry

Being Alone, Dad, and Memes: MOM, DAD THERES SemEONE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW AND...? TM SORRY YOUR PARENTS ARE SUcH ASSHOLES LEAVE US ALONE YoU LITTLE NERD YOV THINK WANNA SEE THAT SHITP THAT SOUNDS SCARY AS HELL ITS FINE YEAH pls support https://t.co/FYdNg4EDye

pls support https://t.co/FYdNg4EDye

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Taking

Are

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