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    sos: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                sos: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg 
                
            

            
            
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                







    sos: NO CHECKS
 Fuck mel Fuck me!
 sos sos
biff-donderglutes:

ultrakillblast:
ROBOCOP (1987)
robocop’s famous catchphrase

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                sos: NO CHECKS
 Fuck mel Fuck me!
 sos sos
biff-donderglutes:

ultrakillblast:
ROBOCOP (1987)
robocop’s famous catchphrase

                
            

            
            
biff-donderglutes:

ultrakillblast:
ROBOCOP (1987)
robocop’s famous catchphrase


            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







    sos: awesomage:High Power Burning Laser COLD FIRE 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                sos: awesomage:High Power Burning Laser COLD FIRE 
                
                

                
            

            
            
awesomage:High Power Burning Laser COLD FIRE 

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                






            

        

        
        

            

                







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    sos: fandomsandfeminism
 There is a phrase used to describe people,
 often strangers, as "ships passing in the night."
 The phrase is meant to describe how fleeting
 the intersection of two lives can be, how briefly
 people we don't know can flicker in and out of
 our lives.
 But when I read about the Titanic, I think we
 can push the phrase further. Because
 sometimes, as you pass another ship in the
 night, you may hear a cry in the dark. A person
 in danger. A shout for help. Distress rockets
 and SOS signals wailing into the night. A
 stranger in crisis.
 And in those fleeting moments as your ship
 passes theirs, you get to make the choice- are
 you the Californian, the closest ship to the
 Titanic, which saw the distress rockets and saw
 the lights on the horizon and sat and did
 nothing; or are you the Carpathia, turning on a
 dime, pushing all steam to the engines, racing
 to help?
 We can not say for sure what caused the
 Californian to not help the Titanic in that night
 of crisis. Whether is was apathy or
 incompetence or fear, we don't knovw
 But we know that every single soul who
 survived the Titanic survived because of the
 Carpathia. Because the crew and the
 passengers of that ship raced nearly 60 miles
 through ice fields above their maximum speed
 in the dead of night, readying life boats,
 readying triage, to pull them from the water.
 So, yes, we are ships passing in the night, and
 when given the chance to turn away or do
 good, always err on the side of reckless
 compassion.
concept: bystanders should be called californians.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                sos: fandomsandfeminism
 There is a phrase used to describe people,
 often strangers, as "ships passing in the night."
 The phrase is meant to describe how fleeting
 the intersection of two lives can be, how briefly
 people we don't know can flicker in and out of
 our lives.
 But when I read about the Titanic, I think we
 can push the phrase further. Because
 sometimes, as you pass another ship in the
 night, you may hear a cry in the dark. A person
 in danger. A shout for help. Distress rockets
 and SOS signals wailing into the night. A
 stranger in crisis.
 And in those fleeting moments as your ship
 passes theirs, you get to make the choice- are
 you the Californian, the closest ship to the
 Titanic, which saw the distress rockets and saw
 the lights on the horizon and sat and did
 nothing; or are you the Carpathia, turning on a
 dime, pushing all steam to the engines, racing
 to help?
 We can not say for sure what caused the
 Californian to not help the Titanic in that night
 of crisis. Whether is was apathy or
 incompetence or fear, we don't knovw
 But we know that every single soul who
 survived the Titanic survived because of the
 Carpathia. Because the crew and the
 passengers of that ship raced nearly 60 miles
 through ice fields above their maximum speed
 in the dead of night, readying life boats,
 readying triage, to pull them from the water.
 So, yes, we are ships passing in the night, and
 when given the chance to turn away or do
 good, always err on the side of reckless
 compassion.
concept: bystanders should be called californians.
                
            

            
            
concept: bystanders should be called californians.