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🔥 | Latest

soap: rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.
soap: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

soap: oh no, doggo has dropped the soap by _jun_yi_ MORE MEMES
soap: oh no, doggo has dropped the soap by _jun_yi_
MORE MEMES

oh no, doggo has dropped the soap by _jun_yi_ MORE MEMES

soap: My soap fell down😵😵
soap: My soap fell down😵😵

My soap fell down😵😵

soap: Don't drop the soap!
soap: Don't drop the soap!

Don't drop the soap!

soap: THIS IS SOAP! OK?
soap: THIS IS SOAP! OK?

THIS IS SOAP! OK?

soap: "If soap kills Coronavirus, why don't we have a foam party?" - Genius
soap: "If soap kills Coronavirus, why don't we have a foam party?" - Genius

"If soap kills Coronavirus, why don't we have a foam party?" - Genius

soap: Just chug a bunch of soap and you’ll be fine
soap: Just chug a bunch of soap and you’ll be fine

Just chug a bunch of soap and you’ll be fine

soap: *dropped soap noises intensify*
soap: *dropped soap noises intensify*

*dropped soap noises intensify*

soap: Soap
soap: Soap

Soap

soap: coughs in soap
soap: coughs in soap

coughs in soap

soap: Just inject yourself with soap fools!
soap: Just inject yourself with soap fools!

Just inject yourself with soap fools!

soap: Just inject yourself with soap fools
soap: Just inject yourself with soap fools

Just inject yourself with soap fools

soap: Why is your child thinking of eating soap?
soap: Why is your child thinking of eating soap?

Why is your child thinking of eating soap?

soap: Am I high or does my soap look like a map of the world?
soap: Am I high or does my soap look like a map of the world?

Am I high or does my soap look like a map of the world?

soap: Bought this hand soap giving deals on theme park tickets...thought it was pretty ironic.
soap: Bought this hand soap giving deals on theme park tickets...thought it was pretty ironic.

Bought this hand soap giving deals on theme park tickets...thought it was pretty ironic.

soap: RIP Soap
soap: RIP Soap

RIP Soap

soap: What soap does felix use
soap: What soap does felix use

What soap does felix use

soap: i got soap for easter
soap: i got soap for easter

i got soap for easter

soap: Caesar has a layer of soap around him, he's safe.
soap: Caesar has a layer of soap around him, he's safe.

Caesar has a layer of soap around him, he's safe.

soap: I do think soap tastes good tho
soap: I do think soap tastes good tho

I do think soap tastes good tho

soap: RIP Soap
soap: RIP Soap

RIP Soap

soap: soap does not please the mouth
soap: soap does not please the mouth

soap does not please the mouth

soap: Not now soap, just rest.
soap: Not now soap, just rest.

Not now soap, just rest.

soap: Wash your hands and eyes with soap and water before watching this meme
soap: Wash your hands and eyes with soap and water before watching this meme

Wash your hands and eyes with soap and water before watching this meme

soap: He needs some soap
soap: He needs some soap

He needs some soap

soap: Dbd graphics downgrade make you puke? You want to remove that idiotic soap? Here's the instructions [I'll double the instruction in comments].
soap: Dbd graphics downgrade make you puke? You want to remove that idiotic soap? Here's the instructions [I'll double the instruction in comments].

Dbd graphics downgrade make you puke? You want to remove that idiotic soap? Here's the instructions [I'll double the instruction in comme...

soap: Why cant we just drink the soap
soap: Why cant we just drink the soap

Why cant we just drink the soap

soap: Thanks I hate my OCD and people buying all the HAND LOTION AND SOAP THAT IM NOT ALLERGIC TOO
soap: Thanks I hate my OCD and people buying all the HAND LOTION AND SOAP THAT IM NOT ALLERGIC TOO

Thanks I hate my OCD and people buying all the HAND LOTION AND SOAP THAT IM NOT ALLERGIC TOO

soap: ingridisamaze: jadedsoggy: 30-minute-memes: Too complicated, it’s just soap. WHY ARE YOU SHOPPING FOR GENDER AT THE SOAP STORE?! F U C K Y O U
soap: ingridisamaze:

jadedsoggy:

30-minute-memes:
Too complicated, it’s just soap.
WHY ARE YOU SHOPPING FOR GENDER AT THE SOAP STORE?!



F U C K Y O U

ingridisamaze: jadedsoggy: 30-minute-memes: Too complicated, it’s just soap. WHY ARE YOU SHOPPING FOR GENDER AT THE SOAP STORE?! F U...

soap: So, I fell down a Youtube wormhole, and ended up watching a Chinese soap opera. MRW It turns out to have the most beautifully touching friendship I've ever seen between two women.
soap: So, I fell down a Youtube wormhole, and ended up watching a Chinese soap opera. MRW It turns out to have the most beautifully touching friendship I've ever seen between two women.

So, I fell down a Youtube wormhole, and ended up watching a Chinese soap opera. MRW It turns out to have the most beautifully touching fr...

soap: what's your favorite soap?
soap: what's your favorite soap?

what's your favorite soap?

soap: Soap popsicles...
soap: Soap popsicles...

Soap popsicles...

soap: No! no! no! soap! Soap!
soap: No! no! no! soap! Soap!

No! no! no! soap! Soap!

soap: Soap is soap
soap: Soap is soap

Soap is soap

soap: The only worse pain is when they ask you what soap you use but you don’t have an answer
soap: The only worse pain is when they ask you what soap you use but you don’t have an answer

The only worse pain is when they ask you what soap you use but you don’t have an answer

soap: What soap u use.
soap: What soap u use.

What soap u use.

soap: Hun shills expensive FACE SOAP in deceiving add
soap: Hun shills expensive FACE SOAP in deceiving add

Hun shills expensive FACE SOAP in deceiving add

soap: Whats your favourite soap
soap: Whats your favourite soap

Whats your favourite soap

soap: Update to: "So, drink some soap and sanitizer? Unclear. <sigh>" It's a bad day when even Facebook's "fact checkers" smack you down.
soap: Update to: "So, drink some soap and sanitizer? Unclear. <sigh>" It's a bad day when even Facebook's "fact checkers" smack you down.

Update to: "So, drink some soap and sanitizer? Unclear. <sigh>" It's a bad day when even Facebook's "fact checkers" smack you down.

soap: Wash your hands, soap is op
soap: Wash your hands, soap is op

Wash your hands, soap is op

soap: Erin's fat gonna end up in a soap.
soap: Erin's fat gonna end up in a soap.

Erin's fat gonna end up in a soap.

soap: I watched soap in VR and now I'm vegan
soap: I watched soap in VR and now I'm vegan

I watched soap in VR and now I'm vegan