Looks
Looks

Looks

The
The

The

Looks Like
Looks Like

Looks Like

That
That

That

Other
Other

Other

And
And

And

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 tumblr blog

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Okay

Okay

Blog
Blog

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🔥 | Latest

Smugness: The smugness of my pale fuzz in comparison to the cuddliness of my grey fuzz
Smugness: The smugness of my pale fuzz in comparison to the cuddliness of my grey fuzz

The smugness of my pale fuzz in comparison to the cuddliness of my grey fuzz

Smugness: How to install a microchip into your pet giving them the emotion of smugness
Smugness: How to install a microchip into your pet giving them the emotion of smugness

How to install a microchip into your pet giving them the emotion of smugness

Smugness: Oh the Smugness..
Smugness: Oh the Smugness..

Oh the Smugness..

Smugness: This guy posting trying to convince his brothers in Christ to support Christian films (most of which are cringey). I hate how he ended this, the smugness of this guy.
Smugness: This guy posting trying to convince his brothers in Christ to support Christian films (most of which are cringey). I hate how he ended this, the smugness of this guy.

This guy posting trying to convince his brothers in Christ to support Christian films (most of which are cringey). I hate how he ended th...

Smugness: Levi’s smugness captured in two photos
Smugness: Levi’s smugness captured in two photos

Levi’s smugness captured in two photos

Smugness: The smugness
Smugness: The smugness

The smugness

Smugness: I can FEEL the smugness
Smugness: I can FEEL the smugness

I can FEEL the smugness

Smugness: The smugness outweighs the scientific illiteracy
Smugness: The smugness outweighs the scientific illiteracy

The smugness outweighs the scientific illiteracy

Smugness: Smugness is best with a pinch of cute and dash of love
Smugness: Smugness is best with a pinch of cute and dash of love

Smugness is best with a pinch of cute and dash of love

Smugness: Wanderer above his Sea of Smugness
Smugness: Wanderer above his Sea of Smugness

Wanderer above his Sea of Smugness

Smugness: Wanderer above his Sea of Smugness
Smugness: Wanderer above his Sea of Smugness

Wanderer above his Sea of Smugness

Smugness: The infuriating smugness, ignorance knows no shame
Smugness: The infuriating smugness, ignorance knows no shame

The infuriating smugness, ignorance knows no shame

Smugness: Invest in smugness
Smugness: Invest in smugness

Invest in smugness

Smugness: The feeling of smugness afterwards is low key better than post nut clarity
Smugness: The feeling of smugness afterwards is low key better than post nut clarity

The feeling of smugness afterwards is low key better than post nut clarity

Smugness: 1m1 Smugness is not a good quality!
Smugness: 1m1
Smugness is not a good quality!

Smugness is not a good quality!

Smugness: Baz Cuda 16 July 2019 Verified Purchase I have to be perfectly honest with you...I'm not comfortable taking it out in public.. I have to be perfectly honest with you...I'm not comfortable taking it out in public. That wasn't always the case, oh no ! When I was younger I was much more carefree about such things. Having said that though, in those days things were a lot smaller and less noticeable, and you could get away with it as long as you didn't wave it in people's faces Then adulthood arrived with all its many advantages, and I now have a 17.3" beast, if you measure it diagonally..which I do...regularly. And, it has to said, it does attract much unwanted attention; people recognise quality when they see it. And people can't seem to stop themselves asking me about it, which initially is very flattering, obviously, but quickly becomes tedious. There's only so many times you can truly enjoy explaining just how big it is, and how quickly it's up and ready for business. Things this impressive really do need to be experienced fully rather than trying to achieve satisfaction from a purely oral circumnagivation of such a tool - you can't appreciate a good Toad in the Hole just by licking the menu, as Fanny Cradock must have said a dozen times, if she said it at all. Trouble is, I'm always a bit worried that someone's going to grab it, despite the fact that I am (also) blessed with a natural "whatever you're thinking of doing...dont!" demeanour about me. But, desperate people do desperate things, and it really is the last thing I would want to get into a tug- of-war over, especially with a person I've only just met - Mother and Father raised me better than that. I'm very attached to it, and that's how I'd like it to stay. As one grows older, a certain standard of modesty grows with one; what was acceptable to you then is not acceptable to you now. And so, if it must be taken out, I choose to keep it covered; hidden from prying, inquisitive eyes. Discretion is my watchword, and it would be unseemly (and dare I say it, uncharacteristic of me) to flaunt it in front of those less well equipped. The really good thing is, it fits just as well in the rear as it does in the front. That's certainly not always the case, is it? Many models differ on this matter, with the majority (l would say) still insisting that only the front receptable is fit for purpose. It's really great to be given the option for a change. And the Maker was definitely on the ball when this one was created. There is also more than ample room for accessories - how often can you say that !? Typically, once the primary void has been filled, there's rarely anything other than the bare minimum of spare space for additional items, even if you manage to locate other charming little nooks and crannies to insert them in. And yet, no matter how big yours might be, I can tell you for a fact, you're not going have any problems whatsoever fitting in a mouse or two...or whatever your personal choice of rodent might be. And so it is, with great purpose and sureness of step, that I can stride out confidently into the World, with my pride and joy slung over my shoulder, assured in the knowledge, and with a certain degree of deserving smugness, that unbeknownst to those that I might chance to meet along the way, I have on my person a thing of great beauty, indeed one of the best in its class, a tool of enormous value, and of personal joy and satisfaction...and I get to be very choosy who l show it to. Helpful Report Excellent backpack review... I think.
Smugness: Baz Cuda
 16 July 2019
 Verified Purchase
 I have to be perfectly honest with you...I'm not
 comfortable taking it out in public..
 I have to be perfectly honest with you...I'm not
 comfortable taking it out in public.
 That wasn't always the case, oh no ! When I was
 younger I was much more carefree about such things.
 Having said that though, in those days things were a
 lot smaller and less noticeable, and you could get
 away with it as long as you didn't wave it in people's
 faces
 Then adulthood arrived with all its many advantages,
 and I now have a 17.3" beast, if you measure it
 diagonally..which I do...regularly.
 And, it has to said, it does attract much unwanted
 attention; people recognise quality when they see it.
 And people can't seem to stop themselves asking me
 about it, which initially is very flattering, obviously,
 but quickly becomes tedious. There's only so many
 times you can truly enjoy explaining just how big it is,
 and how quickly it's up and ready for business. Things
 this impressive really do need to be experienced fully
 rather than trying to achieve satisfaction from a
 purely oral circumnagivation of such a tool - you can't
 appreciate a good Toad in the Hole just by licking the
 menu, as Fanny Cradock must have said a dozen times,
 if she said it at all.
 Trouble is, I'm always a bit worried that someone's
 going to grab it, despite the fact that I am (also)
 blessed with a natural "whatever you're thinking of
 doing...dont!" demeanour about me.
 But, desperate people do desperate things, and it
 really is the last thing I would want to get into a tug-
 of-war over, especially with a person I've only just met
 - Mother and Father raised me better than that. I'm
 very attached to it, and that's how I'd like it to stay.
 As one grows older, a certain standard of modesty
 grows with one; what was acceptable to you then is
 not acceptable to you now.
 And so, if it must be taken out, I choose to keep it
 covered; hidden from prying, inquisitive eyes.
 Discretion is my watchword, and it would be unseemly
 (and dare I say it, uncharacteristic of me) to flaunt it in
 front of those less well equipped.
 The really good thing is, it fits just as well in the rear
 as it does in the front.
 That's certainly not always the case, is it? Many
 models differ on this matter, with the majority (l
 would say) still insisting that only the front receptable
 is fit for purpose. It's really great to be given the
 option for a change.
 And the Maker was definitely
 on the ball when this
 one was created.
 There is also more than ample room for accessories -
 how often can you say that !?
 Typically, once the primary void has been filled, there's
 rarely anything other than the bare minimum of spare
 space for additional items, even if you manage to
 locate other charming little nooks and crannies to
 insert them in.
 And yet, no matter how big yours might be, I can tell
 you for a fact, you're not going have any problems
 whatsoever fitting in a mouse or two...or whatever
 your personal choice of rodent might be.
 And so it is, with great purpose and sureness of step,
 that I can stride out confidently into the World, with
 my pride and joy slung over my shoulder, assured in
 the knowledge, and with a certain degree of deserving
 smugness, that unbeknownst to those that I might
 chance to meet along the way, I have on my person a
 thing of great beauty, indeed one of the best in its
 class, a tool of enormous value, and of personal joy
 and satisfaction...and I get to be very choosy who l
 show it to.
 Helpful
 Report
Excellent backpack review... I think.

Excellent backpack review... I think.

Smugness: | giraffepoliceforce I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife. They were expecting military resistance. They weren't counting on bears. Asplintercellconviction Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf) By the time you realise that they can traverse water, it's too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come. The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue "Hippopotamus." artiestroke This is giving me the biggest, creepiest grin I might have ever grinned skeletonmug Imagine being the next crew to go down to earth and thinking "it's fine, we got this. We have the weapons and equipment necessary to deal with bears and *shudders hippopotamuses. We'll be fine." And at first you are, you've learned how to dodge. You've learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself. But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. You're in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dreaded "hippos" around. Not even any bears. But there is a slight rustle of the undergrowth. You try and ignore it telling yourself it is just the wind. Then you hear the rustle again. closer this time. You peer out into the darkness but see nothing amongst the trees. The rustle again and now you realise you can smell something. It's musky and slightly foul. It's the smell of an omen, a warning. But what of? Where is this smell coming from. You sit up, but it's too late. The foul smelling creature is on you. You are hit with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious bites. Long dark claws tear in to you and you are pinned down white the striped creature tries to bite your throat. It takes some doing but you manage to wrestle free. Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. It's between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away. Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadn't noticed before. When you make it back to your base you once again consult the captive human. "Badger." they say, with a solemn nod. jabberwockypie One word: Moose myurbandream "Our vehicles are far superior to the local human models, in range, speed, armament, and any other metric you care to name! Nothing could possibly-" BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!! "That's called a moose." morebadbookcovers Wolverines. Also.. dolphins ohgodhesloose The invasion is going slowly. The humans have caught on and are actively destroying information on the planet's flora and fauna before Intelligence can capture and process it. All that they have are survivors accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers. Moose. It is becoming obvious this mudball planet is a full-on Death World to the unprepared, and you are so very unprepared. You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a mobile or carnivorous plant, just one that caused a vicious allergic reaction on contact that killed him in less than a rai'kor. Commander Vura'ko died to an insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked a tiny bit of her blood and apparently replaced it witha bit of its last meal, which was full of disease. Backwash. She died to bug backwash. And yet you honestly envy them after that... thing you encountered... When you got back to base the quarantine officer refused to let you inside. They had to roll a containment tank outside to put you in, because you all knew there would be no chance of eliminating the smell if it got into the ship's air ducts. Smell. You wonder if your nasal slit will ever recover from this stench And the smell would. Not. Leave. After incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you use every cleansing agent they could think of, including a few janitorial ones, and still everyone fled the stench if they were downwind of your tank. Desperate to protect everyone's nasal slits from the smell the quarantine officer interrogated the humans. From them, a glimmer of hope: there was a cure. Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on this mudball was the only thing that could break up the chemicals in the little horror's spray. Immediately the Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of the stuff and made you bathe in it. That was hours ago and it didn't seem to be working, though. All it was doing was turning your blue skin an interesting shade of purple Sighing in frustration you wave the med-assist on duty over, who only approaches after checking the wind direction. Annoyed, you flip on the tank's vox speaker. "The humans did say it was "grape" juice that removed "skunk" stench, right? majingojira Every night It came for someone almost every night Any soldier alone was a viable target for this native monster that moved unseen by any but the security viewers, usually only spotted in hindsight. They were taken as silently as this earth-monster moved. Sometimes they'd find the remains in the morning taken up a tree and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it were a grisly reminder that the monster was still there, waiting unseen, to strike again. What little they saw of the monster on the vidfeed showed true horror. Yellow eyes that shone with all the light it could gather. It had fangs as long as his grasping digits. Claws half that size formed curved hooks that allowed it to climb up their fortifications with impunity. And in the underbrush, its spots made it almost impossible to see clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be seen at all Even the native sentients, the humans, had a healthy respect and fear for it. The earth natives called the monster a leopard It was a constant fear that muddied the senses, and let the monster hunt even more effectively as the soldiers were always on edge. Sleep deprived with fear, it made them even better targets for the monster. But rumor was that there was worse on this planet. Rumors of a monster like a leopard but larger, and bigger in every imaginable sense. Stripped instead of spotted, which leaped from the underbrush with a sound. A sound that burst eardrums, paralyzed entire units, and let the monster kill with impunity. While the Leopard wrestled soldiers down and ripped their throats out. This other monster, the Tiger killed with its pounce alone. lyricwritesprose "We've been through this," Group Leader 455 snapped. "The dissection of an Earth life form will help the scientists make weapons to combat the rest of this planet's hellbeasts. And these are domesticated. Harmless." The troops were not-quite-looking at her in the way troops do when they don't want to be seen to contradict a ranking officer, but can't quite muster a correct Expression of Enthusiastic Assent. "The name of this species, she pointed out, "is synonymous with dullness and slowness in the language of the Earth barbarians." Well, one language out of several thousand these creatures needed Imperial guidance more than any other world on record-but there was no point in confusing the rank and file. More not-quite-looking. 455 bubbled a sigh and consulted her scanner. "That one," she decided. "Alone in the separate pasture. Scans suggest that it's a male, which means it's probably weaker. Possibly it's kept isolated so that the females don't eat it before mating season. And yes, I know some of you are here on punishment detail, but you're still soldiers of the Imperium. This squad is perfectly capable of handling a lone, helpless, pathetic male cow." petermorwood I'm enjoying this immensely. Wait until the aliens try Australia for size... pokemonsunburn It was a strange creature Tar'van glimpsed at on the vast island known to the humans as 'Australia' "I would warn you not to fuck with us, mate." Their forced guide, a prisioner, had warned with a chilling grin upon capture. "If you think a moose is bad, wait until you tango with a red back." To this day Tar'van fears the creature known as the red back, and what horrors it would bring. The prisioner turned out to be of little help,the stubboness of his people causing them to refuse the danger that the captured human warned of. Tar'van recalls a moment when one of his squad members approached a creature know as a dingo, insistent they had seen these creatures before and they were tame. They barely escaped with 5 of the original 7 members of his squad. Another moment Tar'van recalls was the brutal mauling they witnessed by the hands of a creature called an 'Emu "Don't feel too bad," the prisioner mocked. "We lost a war to the Emu's as well. Now with only 4 members of their squad left, including themself,, Tar'van had learned to listen to the prisoner, to be wary of the simplest of creatures. This human was of the sub-species of Zookeeper' after all. The 'Zookeeper' looks off to the distance, where the creature is. "It's a kangaroo, leave it be and you'll be fine." Tar'van nods, a human signal of acknowledgement if they are correct. The human smiles a bit. "That creature cannot possibly harm us." Tar'van's squad leader protests. "It is so docile. I will aproach it and bring back it's head to show this human is a fearmongering liar." The human reels back, a look of disgust crosses their face and anger passes through their eyes. "Fucking do it mate, I dare ya." The human hisses. The squad leader puffs up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to their species, and aproached the so called 'Kangaroo! "This will be unpleasant." A squadmate mutters as they watch their leader raise their fist and bring it down on the creature. The 'Kangaroo' looks a little stunned by the impact, before it raises itself upon its strong tail and uses its powerful heind legs to launch their squadleader backwards through the air. Their squadleader lands upon the ground, unmoving with black blooded oozeing from them. It appears Tar'van is the squads leader now. "I don't know what they expected." the human says, smugness filling their tone. "Kangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8- pack and all." Tar'van steps forward to the human, whom inches back in a sign of fear as Tar'van pulls their blade from its holster, and in their first act as leader, frees the human of the bonds around their hands. "Please," Tar'van bags. "Get us back safely" aemiracufic @kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a war to emus? Why was it necessary? kryallaorchid oh, mate, you never mess with the emus kawaguardian (Jesus christ. Dont get us started on kangaroos) They had faced Emu's. They had lost one in the battle but had experienced them. But this was no emu. Looking to their guide, they all stare in horror as his face changes from calculating to fear. Pure, heart consuming horror as he stares at the large bird. "Cassowary... They mimic him in fear. Squawking the horrific name as another joins the first in the mad run towards them. The only ones to survive was the native guide and Tar'van. The guide was carrying the soldier over his shoulder as they made their way back to the settlement. Tar'van was a wreck. Periodically alternating between rocking in complete silence and whispering broken words in horror. When they consulted the native all he said was "Its spring.... Magpie season..." paksenarrion-reader "Listen up, troops. This armour upgrade has been tested both in the laboratories of the best Imperial military scientists and in the field. We are impervious to the stings of any insect on this hell hole of a planet, striped or not! We can brave the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it at long last! Revenge for our fallen companions! Glory to the Emperor!" "Excuse me," the native Terran guide speaks up in a tired tone, and the squad's cheers die on their lips. "This is Japan. You haven't seen what- "Silence, worm! No sting can penetrate this plating! The guide tries to warn them once again, merely earning a blow that throws them to their knees. The troops set out, morale high, certain in their ability to brave the wildlife now and thirsting for vengeance against the non-sentient native species. One soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A hollow sound follows In an instant, the soldier a storm of the striped insects. At first, no one pays it any mind. Their little stings cannot penetrate the new plating, after all the centre of But then the soldier falls to his knees, and the squad stares in horror as the insects enclose him in layer upon layer of their own bodies, all moving. The squad's medic yells a warning at everyone to stay back, watching the readouts of the unfortunate soldier's armour on their diagnostic screen with undisguised horror. The insects aren't even stinging. They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldier's body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell. Finally asked about what happened, the human sighs. "Japanese honeybees. They do this to wasps, too." murkymuse "How?" You ask. "How has your species dominated this planet?" The human bares its teeth. A smile, they call it. Something humans do when they are happy. Yet you can't help but think of all the creatures with the their large fangs and sharp teeth. (What kind of species uses a threat signal as a sign of happiness?) "Persistence and ingenuity." The human answers, still smiling. It doesn't matter that this one is your prisoner. Humans, you decide, are as terrifying as their planet. fallenwithstyle "And scattered about it were the Martians-dead!-slain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all man's devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, had put upon this earth." - HG Wells, The War of the Worlds, 1898 catbountry I'm picturing aliens going up against a hoard of Canadian geese, or a swan. I think at that point they'd just give up. invaderdrey Or fire ants eeyore9990 No one even MENTIONED snakes yet... breelandwalker This thing gets better EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE IT fir-trees-unite "Let us try the creatures that the humans keep for domestic companionship" "Is that a miniature tiger?" "Why does this human own a small pack of wolves?" The aliens ask their human captive why small wolves live with them. "Oh, you mean dogs? Yeah, they're the only animals that can keep up with us. The aliens look at each other in fear. "What do you mean?" "Oh well that's why you guys won' is because humans aren't super fast or strong. I think my middle school biology teacher called us pursuit predators? It means we evolved to hunt things by following them at walking pace until they had to stop to sleep and then catching up to them then. Dogs are the only animals that can keep up with us. Did you know one time a pack of wolves tailed a herd of caribou for three days straight?" "Uh... okay, what about these small round things with big teeth?" "Omg dude no if you give a hamster enought time that little fucker can chew through concrete :" The aliens wonder if the surrender of humanity was a trap. grimm-fairy Somebody do sharks or sea creatures next. Giant squids would wreak havoc on their ships. obsessionality The aliens have sophisticated technology which pretty much allows them to live underwater, which is something even the inventive humans have never managed. Submarines have nothing on alien submersion pods, which can withstand the crushing pressures of even the darkest depths of the oceans and seas. The aliens aren't expecting any difficulties with their underwater expeditions. Of course, that's when four of the life signs on the central screen simply vanish, like they'd never been there Alpha turns on the direct communication lines to the remaining submersion pods, and the only thing they hear through the tinny speakers is screaming. Alpha resists the urge to turn and at the shackled human standing behind them, but Beta, Gamma and Theta have no such compunctions. The human shrugs. "I mean, we've never really been down there so we're not entire sure, but we've heard stories of giant squids and stuff. No smoke without fire, and all that." "There can be neither smoke nor fire underwater, human, cease your prattling." The human snorts. "It's a phrase. A metaphor? Man, I don't know, I studied marine biology, not literature." The human is unable to tell them anything useful about what might have happened to the submersion pods, but retrieved footage later shows tentacled behemoths snaking out of the depths of disturbed silt and cold water, and crushing the submersion pods effortlessly, in full view of the outer-hull cameras. The monsters have giant beaks which rip through the organic alloy sheets, and into the bodies of the pod pilots within. The outer-hull cameras register the blue of fresh spilled blood and gore, at the same time the on-board cameras register screaming and the red glow of critical power failure. The last thing the aliens can see on the retrieved footage is thin, long, snakelike creatures appearing out of the darkness and gloom, creating their own light and descending upon the remains of their brethren. They are accompanied by creatures that look like plastic bags, but which feed upon the toxic remains of the organic alloy of which the pods were made. The human appears completely nonchalant there is no love lost between slave and master. "Wait till you see sharks." endangereduglythings I've seen this post go around a few times, but this time I have some thoughts: 1) This is more or less the plot of Animorphs 2) Earth has Poison Dart Frogs, we're clearly a Death World. 3) I'm now imagining them deciding to set up a base on the poles, because life on this planet is clearly dependant on plants. So, that frozen wasteland should be safe of any dangerous megafauna. Cue Polar Bear out of nowhere. tigriswolf GIANT SQUID. gigiree OH GOD. This is brilliant. slyrider @words-writ-in-starlight ik you've reblogged various versions of this but this one has so many more... words-writ-in-starlight MY FUCKING FAVORITE THING OKAY massivelysuperbbird Of course the aliens are not dumb. So eventually they put their head of operations in some urban area somewhere in western europe, because the humans have long ago killed all the dangerous beasts who used to live there, like bears and wolfs. But then an entire team gets murdered by a grey monstrosity the humans call "elephant" and then one of the dreaded tigers shows up and rippes the head off the consuls body. The vice consul (now new consul, apparently) runs to the human prisoneres in a rage. "You said those monsters do not live here." "I don't know man", one of the humans sais. "They aren't supposed to be here. Maybe they broke out of the zoo." And to his horror, the new consul finds out that the humans have brought animals all over the world for fun, and apparently a tiger can sneak up on you anywhere on this god forsaken planet gemtern @warsmithbryant Source: giraffepoliceforce 904,857 notes [very long] a concept for a sci-fi story which i would absolutely read the shit out of
Smugness: | giraffepoliceforce
 I really want a science fiction story
 where aliens come to invade earth and
 effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to
 be fought off by the wildlife.
 They were expecting military
 resistance. They weren't counting on
 bears.
 Asplintercellconviction
 Imagine coming to a hostile alien world
 and being attacked by a horde of
 creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons,
 run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a
 force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf)
 By the time you realise that they can
 traverse water, it's too late. The
 surviving members of your unit manage
 to make it back by shedding their
 excess gear and running for their lives
 the slower ones were crushed to death
 within minutes
 You later describe the creature to one
 of the humans you captured, wanting to
 know the name of the monstrosity that
 will haunt your nightmares for cycles to
 come.
 The human smiles as it speaks a single
 word, slowly and distinctly, in its
 barbaric tongue
 "Hippopotamus."
 artiestroke
 This is giving me the biggest, creepiest
 grin I might have ever grinned
 skeletonmug
 Imagine being the next crew to go down
 to earth and thinking "it's fine, we got
 this. We have the weapons and
 equipment necessary to deal with bears
 and *shudders hippopotamuses. We'll
 be fine."
 And at first you are, you've learned how
 to dodge. You've learned where their
 territories are. You know how to defend
 yourself.
 But then one night you are sleeping in
 your shelter. You're in a tree covered
 temperate part of earth. It seems
 benign. There are been no sightings of
 the dreaded "hippos" around. Not even
 any bears. But there is a slight rustle of
 the undergrowth. You try and ignore it
 telling yourself it is just the wind.
 Then you hear the rustle again. closer
 this time.
 You peer out into the darkness but see
 nothing amongst the trees.
 The rustle again and now you realise
 you can smell something. It's musky
 and slightly foul. It's the smell of an
 omen, a warning. But what of? Where is
 this smell coming from.
 You sit up, but it's too late. The foul
 smelling creature is on you. You are hit
 with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious
 bites. Long dark claws tear in to you
 and you are pinned down white the
 striped creature tries to bite your throat.
 It takes some doing but you manage to
 wrestle free. Blood drips from your
 wounds and already they itch with the
 sign of infection. The creature has a
 bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with
 the black and white hairs. It lets out a
 terrifying growl from the back of its
 throat and looks to attack again. It's
 between you and your knife, so your
 only choice is to back away.
 Eventually the creature gives up and
 snuffles off in to the undergrowth,
 down a hole near your shelter you
 hadn't noticed before.
 When you make it back to your base
 you once again consult the captive
 human.
 "Badger." they say, with a solemn nod.
 jabberwockypie
 One word: Moose
 myurbandream
 "Our vehicles are far superior to the
 local human models, in range, speed,
 armament, and any other metric you
 care to name! Nothing could possibly-"
 BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!!
 "That's called a moose."
 morebadbookcovers
 Wolverines.
 Also.. dolphins
 ohgodhesloose
 The invasion is going slowly. The
 humans have caught on and are
 actively destroying information on the
 planet's flora and fauna before
 Intelligence can capture and process it.
 All that they have are survivors
 accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers.
 Moose. It is becoming obvious this
 mudball planet is a full-on Death World
 to the unprepared, and you are so very
 unprepared.
 You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a
 mobile or carnivorous plant, just one
 that caused a vicious allergic reaction
 on contact that killed him in less than a
 rai'kor. Commander Vura'ko died to an
 insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked
 a tiny bit of her blood and apparently
 replaced it witha bit of its last meal,
 which was full of disease. Backwash.
 She died to bug backwash. And yet you
 honestly envy them after that... thing
 you encountered...
 When you got back to base the
 quarantine officer refused to let you
 inside. They had to roll a containment
 tank outside to put you in, because you
 all knew there would be no chance of
 eliminating the smell if it got into the
 ship's air ducts. Smell. You wonder if
 your nasal slit will ever recover from this
 stench
 And the smell would. Not. Leave. After
 incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you
 use every cleansing agent they could
 think of, including a few janitorial ones,
 and still everyone fled the stench if they
 were downwind of your tank. Desperate
 to protect everyone's nasal slits from
 the smell the quarantine officer
 interrogated the humans. From them, a
 glimmer of hope: there was a cure.
 Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on
 this mudball was the only thing that
 could break up the chemicals in the
 little horror's spray. Immediately the
 Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of
 the stuff and made you bathe in it. That
 was hours ago and it didn't seem to be
 working, though. All it was doing was
 turning your blue skin an interesting
 shade of purple
 Sighing in frustration you wave the
 med-assist on duty over, who only
 approaches after checking the wind
 direction. Annoyed, you flip on the
 tank's vox speaker.
 "The humans did say it was "grape"
 juice that removed "skunk" stench,
 right?
 majingojira
 Every night
 It came for someone almost every
 night
 Any soldier alone was a viable target for
 this native monster that moved unseen
 by any but the security viewers, usually
 only spotted in hindsight. They were
 taken as silently as this earth-monster
 moved. Sometimes they'd find the
 remains in the morning taken up a tree
 and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it
 were a grisly reminder that the monster
 was still there, waiting unseen, to strike
 again.
 What little they saw of the monster on
 the vidfeed showed true horror. Yellow
 eyes that shone with all the light it
 could gather. It had fangs as long as
 his grasping digits. Claws half that size
 formed curved hooks that allowed it to
 climb up their fortifications with
 impunity. And in the underbrush, its
 spots made it almost impossible to see
 clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be
 seen at all
 Even the native sentients, the humans,
 had a healthy respect and fear for it.
 The earth natives called the monster a
 leopard
 It was a constant fear that muddied the
 senses, and let the monster hunt even
 more effectively as the soldiers were
 always on edge. Sleep deprived with
 fear, it made them even better targets
 for the monster.
 But rumor was that there was worse on
 this planet. Rumors of a monster like a
 leopard but larger, and bigger in every
 imaginable sense. Stripped instead of
 spotted, which leaped from the
 underbrush with a sound.
 A sound that burst eardrums, paralyzed
 entire units, and let the monster kill with
 impunity. While the Leopard wrestled
 soldiers down and ripped their throats
 out. This other monster, the Tiger
 killed with its pounce alone.
 lyricwritesprose
 "We've been through this," Group
 Leader 455 snapped. "The dissection
 of an Earth life form will help the
 scientists make weapons to combat the
 rest of this planet's hellbeasts. And
 these are domesticated. Harmless."
 The troops were not-quite-looking at
 her in the way troops do when they
 don't want to be seen to contradict a
 ranking officer, but can't quite muster a
 correct Expression of Enthusiastic
 Assent. "The name of this species,
 she pointed out, "is synonymous with
 dullness and slowness in the language
 of the Earth barbarians." Well, one
 language out of several thousand
 these creatures needed Imperial
 guidance more than any other world on
 record-but there was no point in
 confusing the rank and file.
 More not-quite-looking. 455 bubbled a
 sigh and consulted her scanner. "That
 one," she decided. "Alone in the
 separate pasture. Scans suggest that
 it's a male, which means it's probably
 weaker. Possibly it's kept isolated so
 that the females don't eat it before
 mating season. And yes, I know some
 of you are here on punishment detail,
 but you're still soldiers of the
 Imperium. This squad is perfectly
 capable of handling a lone, helpless,
 pathetic male cow."
 petermorwood
 I'm enjoying this immensely. Wait until
 the aliens try Australia for size...
 pokemonsunburn
 It was a strange creature Tar'van
 glimpsed at on the vast island known to
 the humans as 'Australia'
 "I would warn you not to fuck with us,
 mate." Their forced guide, a prisioner,
 had warned with a chilling grin upon
 capture. "If you think a moose is bad,
 wait until you tango with a red back." To
 this day Tar'van fears the creature
 known as the red back, and what
 horrors it would bring.
 The prisioner turned out to be of little
 help,the stubboness of his people
 causing them to refuse the danger that
 the captured human warned of. Tar'van
 recalls a moment when one of his
 squad members approached a creature
 know as a dingo, insistent they had
 seen these creatures before and they
 were tame. They barely escaped with 5
 of the original 7 members of his squad.
 Another moment Tar'van recalls was the
 brutal mauling they witnessed by the
 hands of a creature called an 'Emu
 "Don't feel too bad," the prisioner
 mocked. "We lost a war to the Emu's as
 well.
 Now with only 4 members of their
 squad left, including themself,, Tar'van
 had learned to listen to the prisoner, to
 be wary of the simplest of creatures.
 This human was of the sub-species of
 Zookeeper' after all.
 The 'Zookeeper' looks off to the
 distance, where the creature is.
 "It's a kangaroo, leave it be and you'll
 be fine." Tar'van nods, a human signal
 of acknowledgement if they are correct.
 The human smiles a bit.
 "That creature cannot possibly harm
 us." Tar'van's squad leader protests. "It
 is so docile. I will aproach it and bring
 back it's head to show this human is a
 fearmongering liar."
 The human reels back, a look of disgust
 crosses their face and anger passes
 through their eyes.
 "Fucking do it mate, I dare ya." The
 human hisses. The squad leader puffs
 up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to
 their species, and aproached the so
 called 'Kangaroo!
 "This will be unpleasant." A squadmate
 mutters as they watch their leader raise
 their fist and bring it down on the
 creature. The 'Kangaroo' looks a little
 stunned by the impact, before it raises
 itself upon its strong tail and uses its
 powerful heind legs to launch their
 squadleader backwards through the air.
 Their squadleader lands upon the
 ground, unmoving with black blooded
 oozeing from them. It appears Tar'van is
 the squads leader now.
 "I don't know what they expected." the
 human says, smugness filling their tone.
 "Kangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8-
 pack and all."
 Tar'van steps forward to the human,
 whom inches back in a sign of fear as
 Tar'van pulls their blade from its holster,
 and in their first act as leader, frees the
 human of the bonds around their
 hands.
 "Please," Tar'van bags. "Get us back
 safely"
 aemiracufic
 @kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a
 war to emus? Why was it necessary?
 kryallaorchid
 oh, mate, you never mess with the
 emus
 kawaguardian
 (Jesus christ. Dont get us started on
 kangaroos)
 They had faced Emu's. They had lost
 one in the battle but had experienced
 them. But this was no emu.
 Looking to their guide, they all stare in
 horror as his face changes from
 calculating to fear. Pure, heart
 consuming horror as he stares at the
 large bird.
 "Cassowary...
 They mimic him in fear. Squawking the
 horrific name as another joins the first
 in the mad run towards them.
 The only ones to survive was the native
 guide and Tar'van. The guide was
 carrying the soldier over his shoulder as
 they made their way back to the
 settlement.
 Tar'van was a wreck. Periodically
 alternating between rocking in
 complete silence and whispering
 broken words in horror.
 When they consulted the native all he
 said was "Its spring.... Magpie season..."
 paksenarrion-reader
 "Listen up, troops. This armour upgrade
 has been tested both in the laboratories
 of the best Imperial military scientists
 and in the field. We are impervious to
 the stings of any insect on this hell hole
 of a planet, striped or not! We can brave
 the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it
 at long last! Revenge for our fallen
 companions! Glory to the Emperor!"
 "Excuse me," the native Terran guide
 speaks up in a tired tone, and the
 squad's cheers die on their lips. "This is
 Japan. You haven't seen what-
 "Silence, worm! No sting can penetrate
 this plating!
 The guide tries to warn them once
 again, merely earning a blow that
 throws them to their knees. The troops
 set out, morale high, certain in their
 ability to brave the wildlife now and
 thirsting for vengeance against the
 non-sentient native species. One
 soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A
 hollow sound follows
 In an instant, the soldier
 a storm of the striped insects. At first,
 no one pays it any mind. Their little
 stings cannot penetrate the new
 plating, after all
 the centre of
 But then the soldier falls to his knees,
 and the squad stares in horror as the
 insects enclose him in layer upon layer
 of their own bodies, all moving. The
 squad's medic yells a warning at
 everyone to stay back, watching the
 readouts of the unfortunate soldier's
 armour on their diagnostic screen with
 undisguised horror. The insects aren't
 even stinging. They simply keep
 moving, one atop the other, and the
 soldier's body temperature is slowly
 rising until he drops to the ground,
 quite literally cooked alive. The insect
 swarm takes off, unharmed save for the
 ones that were crushed when the
 trooper fell.
 Finally asked about what happened, the
 human sighs. "Japanese honeybees.
 They do this to wasps, too."
 murkymuse
 "How?" You ask. "How has your
 species dominated this planet?"
 The human bares its teeth. A smile,
 they call it. Something humans do when
 they are happy. Yet you can't help but
 think of all the creatures with the their
 large fangs and sharp teeth. (What kind
 of species uses a threat signal as a sign
 of happiness?)
 "Persistence and ingenuity." The human
 answers, still smiling.
 It doesn't matter that this one is your
 prisoner. Humans, you decide, are as
 terrifying as their planet.
 fallenwithstyle
 "And scattered about it were the
 Martians-dead!-slain by the
 putrefactive and disease bacteria
 against which their systems were
 unprepared; slain as the red weed was
 being slain; slain, after all man's devices
 had failed, by the humblest things that
 God, in his wisdom, had put upon this
 earth."
 - HG Wells, The War of the Worlds,
 1898
 catbountry
 I'm picturing aliens going up against a
 hoard of Canadian geese, or a swan.
 I think at that point they'd just give up.
 invaderdrey
 Or fire ants
 eeyore9990
 No one even MENTIONED snakes yet...
 breelandwalker
 This thing gets better EVERY FUCKING
 TIME I SEE IT
 fir-trees-unite
 "Let us try the creatures that the
 humans keep for domestic
 companionship"
 "Is that a miniature tiger?"
 "Why does this human own a small
 pack of wolves?"
 The aliens ask their human captive why
 small wolves live with them.
 "Oh, you mean dogs? Yeah, they're the
 only animals that can keep up with us.
 The aliens look at each other in
 fear. "What do you mean?"
 "Oh well that's why you guys won' is
 because humans aren't super fast or
 strong. I think my middle school biology
 teacher called us pursuit predators? It
 means we evolved to hunt things by
 following them at walking pace until
 they had to stop to sleep and then
 catching up to them then. Dogs are the
 only animals that can keep up with us.
 Did you know one time a pack of wolves
 tailed a herd of caribou for three days
 straight?"
 "Uh... okay, what about these small
 round things with big teeth?"
 "Omg dude no if you give a hamster
 enought time that little fucker can chew
 through concrete :"
 The aliens wonder if the surrender of
 humanity was a trap.
 grimm-fairy
 Somebody do sharks or sea creatures
 next. Giant squids would wreak havoc
 on their ships.
 obsessionality
 The aliens have sophisticated
 technology which pretty much allows
 them to live underwater, which is
 something even the inventive humans
 have never managed. Submarines have
 nothing on alien submersion pods,
 which can withstand the crushing
 pressures of even the darkest depths of
 the oceans and seas.
 The aliens aren't expecting any
 difficulties with their underwater
 expeditions. Of course, that's when four
 of the life signs on the central screen
 simply vanish, like they'd never been
 there
 Alpha turns on the direct
 communication lines to the remaining
 submersion pods, and the only thing
 they hear through the tinny speakers is
 screaming.
 Alpha resists the urge to turn and
 at the shackled human standing behind
 them, but Beta, Gamma and Theta have
 no such compunctions.
 The human shrugs. "I mean, we've
 never really been down there so we're
 not entire sure, but we've heard stories
 of giant squids and stuff. No smoke
 without fire, and all that."
 "There can be neither smoke nor fire
 underwater, human, cease your
 prattling."
 The human snorts. "It's a phrase. A
 metaphor? Man, I don't know, I studied
 marine biology, not literature."
 The human is unable to tell them
 anything useful about what might have
 happened to the submersion pods, but
 retrieved footage later shows tentacled
 behemoths snaking out of the depths
 of disturbed silt and cold water, and
 crushing the submersion pods
 effortlessly, in full view of the outer-hull
 cameras. The monsters have giant
 beaks which rip through the organic
 alloy sheets, and into the bodies of the
 pod pilots within.
 The outer-hull cameras register the
 blue of fresh spilled blood and gore, at
 the same time the on-board cameras
 register screaming and the red glow of
 critical power failure.
 The last thing the aliens can see on the
 retrieved footage is thin, long, snakelike
 creatures appearing out of the darkness
 and gloom, creating their own light and
 descending upon the remains of their
 brethren. They are accompanied by
 creatures that look like plastic bags, but
 which feed upon the toxic remains of
 the organic alloy of which the pods
 were made.
 The human appears completely
 nonchalant there is no love lost
 between slave and master. "Wait till you
 see sharks."
 endangereduglythings
 I've seen this post go around a few
 times, but this time I have some
 thoughts:
 1) This is more or less the plot of
 Animorphs
 2) Earth has Poison Dart Frogs, we're
 clearly a Death World.
 3) I'm now imagining them deciding to
 set up a base on the poles, because life
 on this planet is clearly dependant on
 plants. So, that frozen wasteland should
 be safe of any dangerous megafauna.
 Cue Polar Bear out of nowhere.
 tigriswolf
 GIANT SQUID.
 gigiree
 OH GOD. This is brilliant.
 slyrider
 @words-writ-in-starlight ik you've
 reblogged various versions of this but
 this one has so many more...
 words-writ-in-starlight
 MY FUCKING FAVORITE THING OKAY
 massivelysuperbbird
 Of course the aliens are not dumb. So
 eventually they put their head of
 operations in some urban area
 somewhere in western europe, because
 the humans have long ago killed all the
 dangerous beasts who used to live
 there, like bears and wolfs. But then an
 entire team gets murdered by a grey
 monstrosity the humans call "elephant"
 and then one of the dreaded tigers
 shows up and rippes the head off the
 consuls body. The vice consul (now
 new consul, apparently) runs to the
 human prisoneres in a rage. "You said
 those monsters do not live here." "I
 don't know man", one of the humans
 sais. "They aren't supposed to be here.
 Maybe they broke out of the zoo." And
 to his horror, the new consul finds out
 that the humans have brought animals
 all over the world for fun, and
 apparently a tiger can sneak up on you
 anywhere on this god forsaken planet
 gemtern
 @warsmithbryant
 Source: giraffepoliceforce
 904,857 notes
[very long] a concept for a sci-fi story which i would absolutely read the shit out of

[very long] a concept for a sci-fi story which i would absolutely read the shit out of

Smugness: With smugness unrivaled, a new character approaches
Smugness: With smugness unrivaled, a new character approaches

With smugness unrivaled, a new character approaches

Smugness: I need to get to 2k karma by the end of the day to be super happy so please Updoot this pic of pure smugness
Smugness: I need to get to 2k karma by the end of the day to be super happy so please Updoot this pic of pure smugness

I need to get to 2k karma by the end of the day to be super happy so please Updoot this pic of pure smugness

Smugness: Smugness intensifies
Smugness: Smugness intensifies

Smugness intensifies

Smugness: emotion & body language body language: emotion Shiiting,1idgeting,grinning,L1Cking 11PS anticipation rubbing hands together slack-jawed, fixed gaze, unable to move awe clapping hands, shaking with laughter amusement slapping thighs, throwing head back biting smile back furrowed/lowered brow, flushed face, pointing ander or table, clenched fist/jaw, baring teeth throbbing veins in neck, scowling glaring, eye rolling, pressed lips, sighing annoyance fidgeting, sweating, playing with jewelry quickened breath, dry mouth/swallowing anxiety biting nails, stuttering, biting lip yawning, fridgeting, doodling, tapping feet boredom or shaking leg, playing with pen/pencil/hair lifted chin, head high, puffed chest, back straight, shoulders back, deliberate movement confidence tilted head, furrowed brow, shrugging, squinting confusion lifted chin, smirk, sneer, purse lips contempt emotion & body language body language: emotion twisted lips, twisted smile, half smile, shaking head, rolling eyes cynical one shoulder shrug, playing with hair/ring necklace/earring/earlobe, scratching face/ nose/neck, shuffling, fidgeting, looking down deceptive hesitation in speech, nodding while saying no shaking head while saving ves, licking lips covering/touching mouth crossed arms, hands hidden, keeping object or person between self and percieved threat defensive winking, touching hair or clothing, eye contact, looking up through lashes, arching des1ire dilated pupils, stretching wide-eyed (shocked), narrow-eyed (suspicious) raised brows (shocked),low brow (suspicious), crinkled nose, curled lip, turning away clenched eyes, covering mouth/nose, flinch disqust frown, creased brows, crossed arms, pressed lips, narrowed eyes displeasure fidgeting, rubbing/scratching neck, wide-eyed distress plaving with iewelry, rapid-breathing, fixing sleeves, holding self, trembling blush, stuttering, stammering, unable to embarrassment make eye contact, covering face, holding self, blinking back tears, looking down or at lights rubbing eyes/temples, yawning, staring off slouching, closing eyes, moving slow fatique emotion & body language body language: emotion shrinking back, wide-eyed, hunched shoulders, flinching, shaking/trembling, holding self fear shaking head, pinching bridge of nose frustrationrubing temples, clenching hands grinding/clenching teeth shaking with sobs, staring off, trembling, shuddered breaths, gasping sobs, curling in on self, lashing out/hitting things grief smile, laugh, hum, whistle, dancing, jumping hugging, giggling, crinkled eyes happiness eye contact, open posture, smiling, looking honesty upwards tapping feet, shaking leg, taping fingers impatience twirling pen, nodding quickly, checking time sighing, looking away crossed arms, sneer, narrowed eyes, sour expression, tight 1ips jealousy hands clenched or gripping something overwhelmed wide-eyed, missing time/conversations, palms to forehead, staring off talking fast, leaning forward, nodding, raised brows, wide-eyed, eager, double handed passionate handshake smiling, nudging, teasing, poking, winking goading, giggling, laughing playful emotion & body language body language: emotion head back, parted 1ips, eyes wide or closed, flushing, quick breath/pulse, arch neck/back pleasure chin up, back straight, shoulders back, chest out, firm handshake, open/spread posture pride biting lip, pressed lips, crossed arms dragging feet, pinching bridge of nose reluctance slouched posture, holding self, hesitant, sadness quivering, crying, sobbing, shaking, tremblling tight smile, hiding hands in pockets/crossed arms, looking down/away, covering face secretiveness bury face in hands, looking down/away slumped posture, pressed lips, straight mouth, wet eyes shame eyebrows raised, mouth open, gasp, hands over mouth, freezing, stepping back/away shock dropping objects in hand (s) avoiding eye contact, looking away/down blushing, bending head, keeping distance shyness stepping away, holding self smirk, one raised eyebrow, corners of mouth twitch upwards smugnesS narrowed eyes, furrowed/creased brow, frown tight lips, pressed lips, glance sideways watchful agaze closed eyes, staring off, stroking/touching thoughtfullness neck or jewelry, pinching bridge of nose stroke face/beard, rest chin on hand theonlysaylor: A Writing Cheat Sheet: for linking actions with emotions.  As always, click for HD.
Smugness: emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 Shiiting,1idgeting,grinning,L1Cking 11PS
 anticipation rubbing hands together
 slack-jawed, fixed gaze, unable to move
 awe
 clapping hands, shaking with laughter
 amusement
 slapping thighs, throwing head back
 biting smile back
 furrowed/lowered brow, flushed face, pointing
 ander
 or table, clenched fist/jaw, baring teeth
 throbbing veins in neck, scowling
 glaring, eye rolling, pressed lips, sighing
 annoyance
 fidgeting, sweating, playing with jewelry
 quickened breath, dry mouth/swallowing
 anxiety
 biting nails, stuttering, biting lip
 yawning, fridgeting, doodling, tapping feet
 boredom
 or shaking leg, playing with pen/pencil/hair
 lifted chin, head high, puffed chest, back
 straight, shoulders back, deliberate movement
 confidence
 tilted head, furrowed brow, shrugging,
 squinting
 confusion
 lifted chin, smirk, sneer, purse lips
 contempt

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 twisted lips, twisted smile, half smile,
 shaking head, rolling eyes
 cynical
 one shoulder shrug, playing with hair/ring
 necklace/earring/earlobe, scratching face/
 nose/neck, shuffling, fidgeting, looking down
 deceptive
 hesitation in speech, nodding while saying no
 shaking head while saving ves, licking lips
 covering/touching mouth
 crossed arms, hands hidden, keeping object
 or person between self and percieved threat
 defensive
 winking, touching hair or clothing, eye
 contact, looking up through lashes, arching
 des1ire
 dilated pupils, stretching
 wide-eyed (shocked), narrow-eyed (suspicious)
 raised brows (shocked),low brow (suspicious),
 crinkled nose, curled lip, turning away
 clenched eyes, covering mouth/nose, flinch
 disqust
 frown, creased brows, crossed arms, pressed
 lips, narrowed eyes
 displeasure
 fidgeting, rubbing/scratching neck, wide-eyed
 distress
 plaving with iewelry, rapid-breathing, fixing
 sleeves, holding self, trembling
 blush, stuttering, stammering, unable to
 embarrassment make eye contact, covering face, holding self,
 blinking back tears, looking down or at lights
 rubbing eyes/temples, yawning, staring off
 slouching, closing eyes, moving slow
 fatique

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 shrinking back, wide-eyed, hunched shoulders,
 flinching, shaking/trembling, holding self
 fear
 shaking head, pinching bridge of nose
 frustrationrubing temples, clenching hands
 grinding/clenching teeth
 shaking with sobs, staring off, trembling,
 shuddered breaths, gasping sobs, curling
 in on self, lashing out/hitting things
 grief
 smile, laugh, hum, whistle, dancing, jumping
 hugging, giggling, crinkled eyes
 happiness
 eye contact, open posture, smiling, looking
 honesty
 upwards
 tapping feet, shaking leg, taping fingers
 impatience twirling pen, nodding quickly, checking time
 sighing, looking away
 crossed arms, sneer, narrowed eyes, sour
 expression, tight 1ips
 jealousy
 hands clenched or gripping something
 overwhelmed wide-eyed, missing time/conversations, palms
 to forehead, staring off
 talking fast, leaning forward, nodding,
 raised brows, wide-eyed, eager, double handed
 passionate
 handshake
 smiling, nudging, teasing, poking, winking
 goading, giggling, laughing
 playful

 emotion & body language
 body language:
 emotion
 head back, parted 1ips, eyes wide or closed,
 flushing, quick breath/pulse, arch neck/back
 pleasure
 chin up, back straight, shoulders back, chest
 out, firm handshake, open/spread posture
 pride
 biting lip, pressed lips, crossed arms
 dragging feet, pinching bridge of nose
 reluctance
 slouched posture, holding self, hesitant,
 sadness
 quivering, crying, sobbing, shaking,
 tremblling
 tight smile, hiding hands in pockets/crossed
 arms, looking down/away, covering face
 secretiveness
 bury face in hands, looking down/away
 slumped posture, pressed lips, straight
 mouth, wet eyes
 shame
 eyebrows raised, mouth open, gasp, hands
 over mouth, freezing, stepping back/away
 shock
 dropping objects in hand (s)
 avoiding eye contact, looking away/down
 blushing, bending head, keeping distance
 shyness
 stepping away, holding self
 smirk, one raised eyebrow, corners of mouth
 twitch upwards
 smugnesS
 narrowed eyes, furrowed/creased brow, frown
 tight lips, pressed lips, glance sideways
 watchful agaze
 closed eyes, staring off, stroking/touching
 thoughtfullness neck or jewelry, pinching bridge of nose
 stroke face/beard, rest chin on hand
theonlysaylor:
A Writing Cheat Sheet: for linking actions with emotions. 
As always, click for HD.

theonlysaylor: A Writing Cheat Sheet: for linking actions with emotions.  As always, click for HD.

Smugness: He knows he is adorable. Just look at him. The smugness. God he is good
Smugness: He knows he is adorable. Just look at him. The smugness. God he is good

He knows he is adorable. Just look at him. The smugness. God he is good