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Sign Here: Several gay monsters @orcanist USPS tracking step 1. We're not sure it exists yet step 2. it's arrived sirfrogsworth: The good news is that USPS has put considerable effort into a new tracking system.  The bad news is they might have overcorrected.  I signed up for email notifications for the status of my package. I’ve been getting 4 emails a day telling me where the box is. I didn’t think there was such a thing as too much tracking information, but they are giving it their best shot.  I’m worried my inbox is going to label them as spam soon. Dave just ran your package to the conveyor! Your package is on the truck. Steve is filling the truck with fuel. Pretty sure it’s diesel.  We can confirm it was diesel.  Steve just crossed the state line. If your package was contraband you have now committed a federal crime. Your package is at a rest stop. Steve was sleepy. Steve is back on the road! Currently listening to Fallout Boy. Do you like their new song? I think it’s catchy. Your package is now in Canada. Just kidding! It’s in Kansas. Steve is on your street! Steve is in your driveway! Steve is at your door! Knock knock.  Who’s there?  Your package!  Your package who?  Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? Also, sign here. Mission accomplished. Enjoy that dildo. Just kidding. We don’t know if it is a dildo. The x-ray was inconclusive. I’m just emailing you to say hi.
Sign Here: Several gay monsters
 @orcanist
 USPS tracking
 step 1. We're not sure it exists yet
 step 2. it's arrived
sirfrogsworth:
The good news is that USPS has put considerable effort into a new tracking system. 
The bad news is they might have overcorrected. 
I signed up for email notifications for the status of my package. I’ve been getting 4 emails a day telling me where the box is. I didn’t think there was such a thing as too much tracking information, but they are giving it their best shot. 
I’m worried my inbox is going to label them as spam soon.
Dave just ran your package to the conveyor!
Your package is on the truck.
Steve is filling the truck with fuel. Pretty sure it’s diesel. 
We can confirm it was diesel. 
Steve just crossed the state line. If your package was contraband you have now committed a federal crime.
Your package is at a rest stop. Steve was sleepy.
Steve is back on the road! Currently listening to Fallout Boy. Do you like their new song? I think it’s catchy.
Your package is now in Canada.
Just kidding! It’s in Kansas.
Steve is on your street!
Steve is in your driveway!
Steve is at your door!
Knock knock. 
Who’s there? 
Your package! 
Your package who? 
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? Also, sign here.
Mission accomplished. Enjoy that dildo.
Just kidding. We don’t know if it is a dildo. The x-ray was inconclusive.
I’m just emailing you to say hi.

sirfrogsworth: The good news is that USPS has put considerable effort into a new tracking system.  The bad news is they might have overco...

Sign Here: MARCH FOR OUR LIVES harrystylesdaily: harrystyles: I just signed this petition, and you should too. SIGN HERE
Sign Here: MARCH
 FOR OUR
 LIVES
harrystylesdaily:

harrystyles: I just signed this petition, and you should too. SIGN HERE

harrystylesdaily: harrystyles: I just signed this petition, and you should too. SIGN HERE

Sign Here: This Is An Actual Job Application Submitted To A Mcdonalds In Florida And They Hired Him For His Honesty NAME: Jeremy Skitt X: Not yet but I'm waiting for the right person DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle- management hostility SALARY: Less than I'm worth MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because if it is... no. DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, l'd like to be doing that now DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to prove otherwise SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising <p>Man Submits The Best Job Application Ever. This Is Genius.</p>
Sign Here: This Is An Actual Job Application
 Submitted To A Mcdonalds In Florida
 And They Hired Him For His Honesty
 NAME: Jeremy Skitt
 X: Not yet but I'm waiting for the right
 person
 DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But
 seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a
 position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here
 in the first place
 DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock
 options and a Michael Ovitz style severance
 package. If that's not possible, make an offer
 and we can haggle.
 EDUCATION: Yes
 LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-
 management hostility
 SALARY: Less than I'm worth
 MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My
 incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it
 notes
 REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked
 HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
 PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m
 Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
 DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes,
 but they're better suited to a more intimate
 environment.
 MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT
 EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A
 FELONY?: Is "felony" sex with a cat? Because
 if it is... no.
 DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS
 THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
 LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
 DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more
 appropriate question here would be "do you
 have a car that runs?"
 HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL
 AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already
 be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse
 Sweepstakes
 DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire
 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN
 FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a
 fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm
 the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
 l'd like to be doing that now
 DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS
 TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF
 YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but I dare you to
 prove otherwise
 SIGN HERE: Scorpio with Libra rising
<p>Man Submits The Best Job Application Ever. This Is Genius.</p>

<p>Man Submits The Best Job Application Ever. This Is Genius.</p>