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Was

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In My

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She Had: Britney Spears @britneyspears Following Fancy running into this guy!Sucha sweetheart!! Well, I was at LAX. I was flying alone to Hawaii. I was waitingiformy flight to board.lsaw a woman approaching me..." "She came up and said, Oh, Mr. O'Neill, I love Modern,Family. You're my favorite on the show. Could you please?" "Sothe next day m manager texts me What is this?' Fifty-three thousand likes! didn't know it was her Lookatthe look on my face Do l Look like Pm sitting With Britney Spears? foxhack: aggressivelynihilistic: buzzfeed: Ed O’Neill Didn’t Realize He Took A Picture With Britney Spears Until A Day Later I have this theory that Britney is one of those celebrities who can like… turn it on, nd can choose to have that aura about her, and when she doesn’t want to be ~Britney Spears~ she can just turn it off again I saw this comment and had to reblog it. She really does. After the therapy she went through a few years back (because of all the messed up things she had happen to her growing up), she’s a regular mom who also happens to be a musical superstar. Look at her in the photo. She doesn’t even look like glamorous. She looks like… a thirty-ish year old mom who sits down and watches Ed O’Neill on TV every week after helping her kids do homework. Perfectly average. And that’s a good thing. I’m glad she’s happy now.
She Had: Britney Spears
 @britneyspears
 Following
 Fancy running into this guy!Sucha
 sweetheart!!

 Well, I was at LAX. I was flying alone to Hawaii. I
 was waitingiformy flight to board.lsaw a woman
 approaching me..."

 "She came up and said, Oh, Mr. O'Neill, I love
 Modern,Family. You're my favorite on the
 show. Could you please?"

 "Sothe next day m manager texts me
 What is this?' Fifty-three thousand likes!
 didn't know it was her

 Lookatthe look on my face Do l Look
 like Pm sitting With Britney Spears?
foxhack:

aggressivelynihilistic:

buzzfeed:
Ed O’Neill Didn’t Realize He Took A Picture With Britney Spears Until A Day Later

I have this theory that Britney is one of those celebrities who can like… turn it on, nd can choose to have that aura about her, and when she doesn’t want to be ~Britney Spears~ she can just turn it off again 

I saw this comment and had to reblog it. She really does. After the therapy she went through a few years back (because of all the messed up things she had happen to her growing up), she’s a regular mom who also happens to be a musical superstar.
Look at her in the photo. She doesn’t even look like glamorous. She looks like… a thirty-ish year old mom who sits down and watches Ed O’Neill on TV every week after helping her kids do homework. Perfectly average.
And that’s a good thing. I’m glad she’s happy now.

foxhack: aggressivelynihilistic: buzzfeed: Ed O’Neill Didn’t Realize He Took A Picture With Britney Spears Until A Day Later I have th...

She Had: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality or Preparing for the End or Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm Stuck Dealing With This Mess ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS. Featuring Helpful Sections such as: Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone What the Everloving Fuck is Probate Some Simple Dos and Don’ts Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials How to plan a non-religious death party So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death. I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together. Good luck! (in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit) @ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission. YES, please share it! And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died. You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK. I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate. But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap. This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.
She Had: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. 
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.

ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of b...

She Had: Ari Drennen Follow @AriDrennen Remember the story about a Starbucks employee writing "pig" on a coffee order for police officers? The employee who did it was friends with the cops, but they complained later and got the trans woman who was her manager fired. DOGAD tem: 4 of 4 tems in order: 5 PIG It Hot Choc Fired Starbucks manager Lola Rose considering lawsuit over 'Pl... The Starbucks manager who was fired when a cop at her shop received an order labeled "PIG" is considering suing the coffee giant for making her. nypost.com 5:50 PM - 9 Dec 2019 from Washington, DC 12,231 Retweets 34,062 Likes Ari Drennen Follow @AriDrennen A lot of times transphobia isn't overt. It's not bigotry in your face. It's a shifting of expectations, a hyper focus on your other perceived faults, a sudden lack of tolerance for mistakes or room for understanding. Suddenly, you don't get the benefit of the doubt. 5:53 PM - 9 Dec 2019 from Washington, DC 687 Retweets 4,688 Likes Ari Drennen Follow @AriDrennen This blew up so I want to share what appears to be Lola's GoFundMe. Help her out if you can! DOGAP tem: 4 of 4 tems in order: 5 PIG t Hot Choc Click here to support Starbucks terminated me with no cause. or... Lola Rose Starbucks terminated me with no cause. My name is Lola Mae Rose I'm from Tulsa county Oklahoma and this is my story. ON NOVE. gofundme.com 9:48 AM - 10 Dec 2019 474 Retweets 1,472 Likes gahdamnpunk: “Rose, who is a transgender college student, said she had always wanted to work for Starbucks because of how they treat employees.” Corporations are not your friends and the police were indeed pigs. The fundraiser
She Had: Ari Drennen
 Follow
 @AriDrennen
 Remember the story about a Starbucks
 employee writing "pig" on a coffee order
 for police officers? The employee who
 did it was friends with the cops, but they
 complained later and got the trans
 woman who was her manager fired.
 DOGAD
 tem: 4 of 4
 tems in order: 5
 PIG
 It Hot Choc
 Fired Starbucks manager Lola Rose considering lawsuit over 'Pl...
 The Starbucks manager who was fired when a cop at her shop received an
 order labeled "PIG" is considering suing the coffee giant for making her.
 nypost.com
 5:50 PM - 9 Dec 2019 from Washington, DC
 12,231 Retweets 34,062 Likes

 Ari Drennen
 Follow
 @AriDrennen
 A lot of times transphobia isn't overt. It's
 not bigotry in your face. It's a shifting of
 expectations, a hyper focus on your
 other perceived faults, a sudden lack of
 tolerance for mistakes or room for
 understanding. Suddenly, you don't get
 the benefit of the doubt.
 5:53 PM - 9 Dec 2019 from Washington, DC
 687 Retweets 4,688 Likes

 Ari Drennen
 Follow
 @AriDrennen
 This blew up so I want to share what
 appears to be Lola's GoFundMe. Help
 her out if you can!
 DOGAP
 tem: 4 of 4
 tems in order: 5
 PIG
 t Hot Choc
 Click here to support Starbucks terminated me with no cause. or...
 Lola Rose Starbucks terminated me with no cause. My name is Lola Mae
 Rose I'm from Tulsa county Oklahoma and this is my story. ON NOVE.
 gofundme.com
 9:48 AM - 10 Dec 2019
 474 Retweets 1,472 Likes
gahdamnpunk:


“Rose, who is a transgender college student, said she had always wanted 
to work for Starbucks because of how they treat employees.”


Corporations are not your friends and the police were indeed pigs.
The fundraiser

gahdamnpunk: “Rose, who is a transgender college student, said she had always wanted to work for Starbucks because of how they treat e...

She Had: did you know? did-you-kno.tumblr.co A 17 year old girl faked a pregnancy for 6 months as a social experiment with only a handful of people knowing about it. Rumor Stereot ASSOCIATED PRESS did-you-kno.tumblr.com northstarfan: i-am-corbin-dallas: boxlunches: kinkyconcepts: bolinator: djazzy: ximune: did-you-kno: Source I saw a news report about this on T.V., she was a straight A Student who had perfect attendance and everything. Everyone loved and respected her for her skills, but when she started this experiment and people thought she was pregnant, they started treating her like garbage. Even her teachers started looking down on her like she was scum of the earth. The only people who knew she was doing this as an experiment were her school principal, her health care teacher, her boyfriend, and her mother. Her own siblings thought she was pregnant!I mean even her friends turned on her, it was horrid. Very very sad, and as soon as she revealed during an assembly that the pregnancy was false, a lot of people were in shock as she brought up all the horrible things they said and did to her because they thought she was pregnant.The reason for the experiment was to see how people would react and treat her if they thought she was pregnant, as opposed as to treating her as the straight A “Perfect” student they usually did. And it proved that people were horrible scumbags to her as soon as they thought she was. holy shit. this is fucking awesome I read this chick’s book! It was so cool. Her book is The Pregnancy Project by Gaby Rodriguez Pretty sure I reblogged something about this in the past, but now someone’s posted a book title and I want to read this book I read the book and saw the lifetime movie ***SPOILERS***  She came from a family with a history of teen pregnancies but she was the exception to the rule. As her senior project she wanted to see how things would change for her if she “succumbed” to what was expected of her by society and statistics. basically she told her bf for his permission and one or two school officials (I think her sister or mother as well but I read it soo long ago). The teachers who didn’t know immediately began to look down on her, most of her friends abandoned her. He bf's family told him to leave her and she basically became the school outcast. Only the other pregnant girls were friendly to her. At the end of the school year she made a big presentation to the school giving them facts about teen pregnancy and telling them about her experiences as a pregnant teen including things they had said to or about her. Then she finally revealed that she wasn’t pregnant. Some people were mad that she had tricked them but overall they understood why she had done it. Assholes weren’t mad that she tricked them, they were mad because she exposed them for what they really were: a pack of shitheads.
She Had: did you know?
 did-you-kno.tumblr.co
 A 17 year old girl faked a pregnancy for 6
 months as a social experiment with only a
 handful of people knowing about it.
 Rumor
 Stereot
 ASSOCIATED PRESS
 did-you-kno.tumblr.com
northstarfan:

i-am-corbin-dallas:

boxlunches:

kinkyconcepts:

bolinator:

djazzy:

ximune:

did-you-kno:

Source

I saw a news report about this on T.V., she was a straight A Student who had perfect attendance and everything. Everyone loved and respected her for her skills, but when she started this experiment and people thought she was pregnant, they started treating her like garbage. Even her teachers started looking down on her like she was scum of the earth. The only people who knew she was doing this as an experiment were her school principal, her health care teacher, her boyfriend, and her mother. Her own siblings thought she was pregnant!I mean even her friends turned on her, it was horrid. Very very sad, and as soon as she revealed during an assembly that the pregnancy was false, a lot of people were in shock as she brought up all the horrible things they said and did to her because they thought she was pregnant.The reason for the experiment was to see how people would react and treat her if they thought she was pregnant, as opposed as to treating her as the straight A “Perfect” student they usually did. And it proved that people were horrible scumbags to her as soon as they thought she was.

holy shit. this is fucking awesome

I read this chick’s book! It was so cool.

Her book is The Pregnancy Project by Gaby Rodriguez

Pretty sure I reblogged something about this in the past, but now someone’s posted a book title and I want to read this book

I read the book and saw the lifetime movie
***SPOILERS*** 
She came from a family with a history of teen pregnancies but she was the exception to the rule. As her senior project she wanted to see how things would change for her if she “succumbed” to what was expected of her by society and statistics. basically she told her bf for his permission and one or two school officials (I think her sister or mother as well but I read it soo long ago). 
The teachers who didn’t know immediately began to look down on her, most of her friends abandoned her. He bf's family told him to leave her and she basically became the school outcast. Only the other pregnant girls were friendly to her. At the end of the school year she made a big presentation to the school giving them facts about teen pregnancy and telling them about her experiences as a pregnant teen including things they had said to or about her. Then she finally revealed that she wasn’t pregnant. Some people were mad that she had tricked them but overall they understood why she had done it.

Assholes weren’t mad that she tricked them, they were mad because she exposed them for what they really were: a pack of shitheads.

northstarfan: i-am-corbin-dallas: boxlunches: kinkyconcepts: bolinator: djazzy: ximune: did-you-kno: Source I saw a news report...

She Had: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
She Had: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

She Had: just-shower-thoughts Blind people must save a lot on electricity. stomatium They do actually! mauve-moth I had a blind professor, last semester, and I swung through his office to make up an exam. It was a while before I knew he was in there because he was sitting with the lights off. I finally went in, apologized, and took the exam by the light of a nearby window (which was fine). Forty-five minutes into dead silence he panicked and yelled in this booming voiced, "WAIT, YOU CAN SEE!!" before diving across his desk to turn on the lights. I'm sure he was embarrassed but I thought it was endearing and it highlighted a large aspect of disabled life that I hadn't previously considered. hotmolasses Sort of relatedly I once had professor who was deaf, but she had learned to read lips and speak so she could communicate easily with hearing people who didn't know sign language. One day she had gotten off topic and was talking a little about her personal life, so that one of the students said "Oh, I know, I grew up in Brooklyn too." She stared at him for a long time and then said "How do you know l'm from Brooklyn?" And he said "You have a Brooklyn accent." She said "I do?" and the whole class nodded, and then she burst out laughing and said "I had no idea! The school where I learned to speak was in Brooklyn. I learned by moving my mouth and tongue the way my teachers did. So I guess it makes sense that I have their accent, I just never thought about it." Realising perspectives!
She Had: just-shower-thoughts
 Blind people must save a lot on electricity.
 stomatium
 They do actually!
 mauve-moth
 I had a blind professor, last semester, and I swung
 through his office to make up an exam. It was a while
 before I knew he was in there because he was sitting
 with the lights off. I finally went in, apologized, and
 took the exam by the light of a nearby window (which
 was fine). Forty-five minutes into dead silence he
 panicked and yelled in this booming voiced, "WAIT,
 YOU CAN SEE!!" before diving across his desk to
 turn on the lights. I'm sure he was embarrassed but I
 thought it was endearing and it highlighted a large
 aspect of disabled life that I hadn't previously
 considered.
 hotmolasses
 Sort of relatedly I once had professor who was deaf,
 but she had learned to read lips and speak so she
 could communicate easily with hearing people who
 didn't know sign language. One day she had gotten
 off topic and was talking a little about her personal
 life, so that one of the students said "Oh, I know, I
 grew up in Brooklyn too."
 She stared at him for a long time and then said "How
 do you know l'm from Brooklyn?"
 And he said "You have a Brooklyn accent."
 She said "I do?" and the whole class nodded, and
 then she burst out laughing and said "I had no idea!
 The school where I learned to speak was in Brooklyn.
 I learned by moving my mouth and tongue the way
 my teachers did. So I guess it makes sense that I
 have their accent, I just never thought about it."
Realising perspectives!

Realising perspectives!

She Had: What is the loveliest thing a child has ever said to you? Richard Muller, Prof Physics, UC Berkeley, author "Now, The Physics of Time" Updated Aug 2, 2017 Originally Answered: What is the loveliest thing your child has ever said? "Would you like one, Grandpa?" OK- it was not my child but my 3-year-old granddaughter, but I still think it counts. I had read about the marshmallow test. You give a child a marshmallow, and then say that if she (Layla, in this case) could keep from eating it for 10 minutes, you'll give her a second. So I tried that test with my granddaughter (not with marshmallows, but with chocolate, which she likes much more) According to extensive experiments, children who "pass" the "marshmallow test" are far more successful in later life. They have learned a fundamental truth in life, that delayed gratification can lead to a far better long-term outcome. She sat and watched the chocolate. The 10-minute hourglass finally emptied, and she had succeeded. She asked for her second piece of chocolate. I gave it to her, and she now had two in her hand. That's when she looked up at me and asked, "Would you like one, Grandpa?" Needless to say, from that moment on I would readily give my life for her. 1.3m views View Upvoters View Sharers hippo-pot: awesomacious: The sweetest granddaughter btw the marshmallow test has been linked to class - kids from wealthier families are essentially more likely to trust that they will actually get the marshmallow if they wait whereas poorer kids are generally more used to like, if you have food, eat it. and being wealthier correlates to being more successful later in life because our system is broken. so THAT’s probably why the marshmallow test is a predictor - because it tells you who is wealthy, not who is innately primed to be successful Classic correlation does not equal causation
She Had: What is the loveliest thing a child has
 ever said to you?
 Richard Muller, Prof Physics, UC Berkeley,
 author "Now, The Physics of Time"
 Updated Aug 2, 2017
 Originally Answered: What is the loveliest thing your child has ever
 said?
 "Would you like one, Grandpa?"
 OK- it was not my child but my 3-year-old
 granddaughter, but I still think it counts.
 I had read about the marshmallow test. You give a child
 a marshmallow, and then say that if she (Layla, in this
 case) could keep from eating it for 10 minutes, you'll
 give her a second. So I tried that test with my
 granddaughter (not with marshmallows, but with
 chocolate, which she likes much more)
 According to extensive experiments, children who
 "pass" the "marshmallow test" are far more successful
 in later life. They have learned a fundamental truth in
 life, that delayed gratification can lead to a far better
 long-term outcome.
 She sat and watched the chocolate. The 10-minute
 hourglass finally emptied, and she had succeeded. She
 asked for her second piece of chocolate. I gave it to her,
 and she now had two in her hand. That's when she
 looked up at me and asked, "Would you like one,
 Grandpa?"
 Needless to say, from that moment on I would readily
 give my life for her.
 1.3m views View Upvoters View Sharers
hippo-pot:

awesomacious:
The sweetest granddaughter
btw the marshmallow test has been linked to class - kids from wealthier families are essentially more likely to trust that they will actually get the marshmallow if they wait whereas poorer kids are generally more used to like, if you have food, eat it. and being wealthier correlates to being more successful later in life because our system is broken. so THAT’s probably why the marshmallow test is a predictor - because it tells you who is wealthy, not who is innately primed to be successful

Classic correlation does not equal causation

hippo-pot: awesomacious: The sweetest granddaughter btw the marshmallow test has been linked to class - kids from wealthier families are...

She Had: Call FaceTime Add Contact Text Message I'm David. Your contact last month has "W O N'! Go to http://winyourxmas.com? FAJJHAKKFG and try - 6426 Wut? I don't know who this is? David? From like 2nd grade?! Dude I haven't talked to you in forever! Holy shit man! How have you been?! heard you got married to Karen. Dude, that's awesome. I'll admit it was a little weird for me when you two started dating given our history, but I'm so stoked for you. I mean, she was like my girlfriend for 9 years and we were engaged. Then you knowI lost my job because of my drinking problem.. And then lost our house because of my cocaine problem... And then there's the fact I started beating her senseless because I was lashing out and she was the always the closet thing around that made me feel better when I hit it... lol does she still walk with that limp after I pushed her down the stairs? God, memories man, ya know? Actually don't tell her I said that. She probably won't think it's funny. She doesn't really talk to me anymore. How did her reconstructive jaw surgery go? At least is made her fat ass skinny because she had to eat through a straw right?! lolll you owe me a beer for that one dude. I still have a lot of her stuff actually. She got that restraining order against me so I didn't know what to do with it so it's just in a box sitting in the middle of my barren living room. Sometimes when I pick up a bottle and skip out on my AA meetings I just sit here and stare at it. It's actually making me kinda sad right now. No one could burn a TV dinner or take a hit like her you know? Damn, I shouldn't have looked inside this box. All this stuff and memories. I want her back David. Dude, stop. Then don't text me this stupid contest shit asshole. OText Message Send QWERTYUIO P ASD F GH JKL ZX CVBNM 123 return space Me irl
She Had: Call
 FaceTime
 Add Contact
 Text Message
 I'm David. Your contact
 last month has "W O N'!
 Go to
 http://winyourxmas.com?
 FAJJHAKKFG and try -
 6426
 Wut?
 I don't know who this is?
 David? From like 2nd
 grade?!
 Dude I haven't talked to
 you in forever! Holy shit
 man!
 How have you been?!
 heard you got married to
 Karen. Dude, that's
 awesome.
 I'll admit it was a little
 weird for me when you
 two started dating given
 our history, but I'm so
 stoked for you.
 I mean, she was like my
 girlfriend for 9 years and
 we were engaged.
 Then you knowI lost my
 job because of my
 drinking problem..
 And then lost our house
 because of my cocaine
 problem...
 And then there's the fact I
 started beating her
 senseless because I was
 lashing out and she was
 the always the closet thing
 around that made me feel
 better when I hit it...
 lol does she still walk with
 that limp after I pushed her
 down the stairs?
 God, memories man, ya
 know?
 Actually don't tell her I
 said that. She probably
 won't think it's funny. She
 doesn't really talk to me
 anymore. How did her
 reconstructive jaw surgery
 go?
 At least is made her fat
 ass skinny because she
 had to eat through a straw
 right?! lolll you owe me a
 beer for that one dude.
 I still have a lot of her stuff
 actually.
 She got that restraining
 order against me so I
 didn't know what to do
 with it so it's just in a box
 sitting in the middle of my
 barren living room.
 Sometimes when I pick up
 a bottle and skip out on
 my AA meetings I just sit
 here and stare at it.
 It's actually making me
 kinda sad right now. No
 one could burn a TV
 dinner or take a hit like her
 you know?
 Damn, I shouldn't have
 looked inside this box. All
 this stuff and memories.
 I want her back David.
 Dude, stop.
 Then don't text me this
 stupid contest shit
 asshole.
 OText Message
 Send
 QWERTYUIO P
 ASD F GH JKL
 ZX CVBNM
 123
 return
 space
Me irl

Me irl

She Had: Model Natacha Jaitt found dead after exposing paedophile ring https://honey.nine.com.au» 9Honey, Latest ▼ 18 hours ago - Model Natacha Jaitt was found dead in Argentina on Saturday after posting a desperate Twitter message, warning that she may be in danger Natacha Jaitt Follow @NatachaJaitt AVISO: No me voy a suicidar, no me voy a pasar de merca y ahogar en una bañera, no me voy apegar ningún tiro, así que si eso pasa, NO NO FUI. Guarden tuit Translate Tweet 12:06 PM-5 Apr 2018 14,342 Retweets 31,518 Likes e thefingerfuckingfemalefury: fuckyeahwarriorwomen: peachy-political: uppityamy: leviathan-supersystem: “Notice: I will not commit suicide. I won’t be bought off or drown in a bath tub, nor will I shoot myself in the head. So, if that happens: I wasn’t me. Save this tweet.” According to the Buenos Aires Times, there are now “unconfirmed reports” the mother-of-two consumed “excessive amounts of cocaine, LSD and champagne” on Friday — the night she attended the event with a friend. But while local news outlets have reported autopsy results showed Ms Jaitt suffered multiple organ failure with no sign of violence, her brother claims she wouldn’t have taken drugs as they would have reacted to medication she had just started taking. Reddit users also claimed pictures of Ms Jaitt’s naked body had been posted online shortly after her death before being hastily deleted. Source Police arrived at the Xanadu event complex near the capital of Argentina, where Jaitt was found unresponsive in bed. After her death was confirmed, police began investigating. A coroner determined on Saturday that Jaitt died of multi-organ failure; her body showed no signs of violence. She was a widow and mother of two children. Source (check out this one to see the horrifying things Pope Francis is doing) Read the above and not that her brother, who helped her testify with the abused children, is saying that there is no way she killed herself like this. She was found overdosed and naked at a party that she was never supposed to go to at the first place. They stole this woman’s dignity. murdered her, and orphaned her children. Here is a list of people she exposed: Pope Francis  Gustavo Vera (friend of Pope Francis) Martín Bustos (who ran pedophile ring) Tomás Beldi (lawyer who destroyed evidence vital to case) Juan Manuel Díaz Vallone (Managed the football players) Alejandro Carlos Dal Cin Silvio Fleyta Leo Cohen Arazi (Worked in Public Relations) Spanish source for list  English source for list  (note: information on her is hard to find, but she apparently made several other busts, I just can’t find the names she released because fucking google is evil) Significant links: Here is an English source for the pedophile ring that she exposed Abuse tracker- an archive holding the church accountable  Here are the 4chan users with information on the case. (Thread has interesting links and information) Don’t forget what this woman did, and what they did to her.  She knew she was putting herself at risk. She knew she was going to die. She didn’t care, she wanted this story out. She wanted the victims to see justice. Remember this.  I so hope this person is still alive to expose literally everything Died: 23 February 2019, Benavídez, Argentina  Born: 13 August 1977, Buenos Aires, Argentina Children: Valentino Yospe, Antonella Olivera <3 This woman was a hero <3
She Had: Model Natacha Jaitt found dead after exposing paedophile ring
 https://honey.nine.com.au» 9Honey, Latest ▼
 18 hours ago - Model Natacha Jaitt was found dead in Argentina on Saturday after posting a
 desperate Twitter message, warning that she may be in danger

 Natacha Jaitt
 Follow
 @NatachaJaitt
 AVISO: No me voy a suicidar, no me voy a
 pasar de merca y ahogar en una bañera, no
 me voy apegar ningún tiro, así que si eso
 pasa, NO NO FUI. Guarden tuit
 Translate Tweet
 12:06 PM-5 Apr 2018
 14,342 Retweets 31,518 Likes
 e
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

fuckyeahwarriorwomen:

peachy-political:

uppityamy:


leviathan-supersystem:
“Notice:
 I will not commit suicide. I won’t be bought off or drown in a bath 
tub, nor will I shoot myself in the head. So, if that happens: I wasn’t 
me. Save this tweet.”

According to the Buenos Aires Times, there are now “unconfirmed reports” the mother-of-two consumed “excessive amounts of cocaine, LSD and champagne” on Friday — the night she attended the event with a friend.
But while local news outlets have reported autopsy results showed Ms Jaitt suffered multiple organ failure with no sign of violence, her brother claims she wouldn’t have taken drugs as they would have reacted to medication she had just started taking.
Reddit users also claimed pictures of Ms Jaitt’s naked body had been posted online shortly after her death before being hastily deleted.
Source 
Police arrived at the Xanadu event complex near the capital of Argentina, where Jaitt was found unresponsive in bed. After her death was confirmed, police began investigating. A coroner determined on Saturday that Jaitt died of multi-organ failure; her body showed no signs of violence. She was a widow and mother of two children.
Source (check out this one to see the horrifying things Pope Francis is doing)

Read the above and not that her brother, who helped her testify with the abused children, is saying that there is no way she killed herself like this.
She was found overdosed and naked at a party that she was never supposed to go to at the first place. They stole this woman’s dignity. murdered her, and orphaned her children. 
Here is a list of people she exposed:
Pope Francis 
Gustavo Vera (friend of Pope Francis)
Martín Bustos (who ran pedophile ring)
Tomás Beldi (lawyer who destroyed evidence vital to case)
Juan Manuel Díaz Vallone (Managed the football players)
Alejandro Carlos Dal Cin
Silvio Fleyta
Leo Cohen Arazi (Worked in Public Relations)
Spanish source for list 
English source for list 
(note: information on her is hard to find, but she apparently made several other busts, I just can’t find the names she released because fucking google is evil)
Significant links:
Here is an English source for the pedophile ring that she exposed
Abuse tracker- an archive holding the church accountable 
Here are the 4chan users with information on the case. (Thread has interesting links and information)
Don’t forget what this woman did, and what they did to her. 
She knew she was putting herself at risk. She knew she was going to die. She didn’t care, she wanted this story out. She wanted the victims to see justice. Remember this. 


I so hope this person is still alive to expose literally everything


Died: 23 February 2019, Benavídez, Argentina 
Born: 13 August 1977, Buenos Aires, Argentina
Children: Valentino Yospe, Antonella Olivera



<3 This woman was a hero <3

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: fuckyeahwarriorwomen: peachy-political: uppityamy: leviathan-supersystem: “Notice: I will not commit su...

She Had: AAMIR KHAN Follow @hdni2803 This is the most fucked up shit I've ever read frightening girls Yesterday, 04:41 PM I once approached a teenage girl (around 14 years old) by asking her for directions at first. Then I proceeded to ask for her name. She became afraid and started walking away. I followed her, and then she went from walking briskly to running. Her gait was peculiar, because she ran like a newborn fawn, turning around every so often, trying to see if I am still following. (Now, I want to make clear that I absolutely abhor rape and did not have any intention in that direction, not molestation not any of that.) Initiate * Joined: Dec 2017 Posts: 139 She had no reason to be frightened. I wasn't gonna anything. But the feeling when you follow a girl and she notices you, and she tries to loose you or picks up the pace. That is kind of a good feeling. You become important to her. You are no longer some random insignificant face in the crowd. I know it is kind of low-level behaviour. But I do enjoy doing that. I go to another city, look for a girl that is walking by herself and start following her. After a while they notice you. After dark, after sunset it may suffice to just walk in the same general direction as a girl that is valking in front of you. They become paranoid. I recommend you lonely incels try it some time. Just to make her afraid. If you know your limits and don't actually harass -let alone rape- that girl, it should be harmless psychological fun. Ren Follow @buckmayn I literally feel disease sick men are a fucking AAMIR KHAN @hdni2803 at This is the most fucked up shit I've ever read - edaeocilulies. nit. m 12:22 PM - 5 Oct 2019 32,388 Retweets 107,390 Likes > lyinginbedmon: gahdamnpunk: How is this NOT harassment? I have no words.. Something I remember from my Criminal Law classes is that, quite genuinely, looking at someone (occasionally even pointedly not doing so) can constitute assault. It seems absurd, looking at someone? Where’s the harm, right? Well, it turns out it’s so that the law has recourse against people who just stand in a public space and start through someone’s living room window. For weeks. Just randomly chasing somebody, even without intent to actually harm, is legally assault. It’s not harmless, it’s months or even years of therapy and paranoia against ever going outside your home, if you even think your home is still safe. TLDR: Yes the law has already seen you play “I’m not touching you” and it is already fed up with your BS.
She Had: AAMIR KHAN
 Follow
 @hdni2803
 This is the most fucked up shit I've ever read

 frightening girls
 Yesterday, 04:41 PM
 I once approached a teenage girl (around 14 years
 old) by asking her for directions at first. Then I proceeded
 to ask for her name. She became afraid and started
 walking away. I followed her, and then she went from
 walking briskly to running. Her gait was peculiar, because
 she ran like a newborn fawn, turning around every so
 often, trying to see if I am still following.
 (Now, I want to make clear that I absolutely abhor rape
 and did not have any intention in that direction, not
 molestation not any of that.)
 Initiate
 *
 Joined: Dec 2017
 Posts: 139
 She had no reason to be frightened. I wasn't gonna
 anything.
 But the feeling when you follow a girl and she notices
 you, and she tries to loose you or picks up the pace. That
 is kind of a good feeling. You become important to her.
 You are no longer some random insignificant face in the
 crowd.
 I know it is kind of low-level behaviour. But I do enjoy
 doing that. I go to another city, look for a girl that is
 walking by herself and start following her. After a while
 they notice you. After dark, after sunset it may suffice to
 just walk in the same general direction as a girl that is
 valking in front of you. They become paranoid.
 I recommend you lonely incels try it some time. Just to
 make her afraid. If you know your limits and don't actually
 harass -let alone rape- that girl, it should be harmless
 psychological fun.

 Ren
 Follow
 @buckmayn
 I literally feel
 disease
 sick men are a fucking
 AAMIR KHAN @hdni2803
 at
 This is the most fucked up shit I've ever read
 -
 edaeocilulies.
 nit.
 m
 12:22 PM - 5 Oct 2019
 32,388 Retweets 107,390 Likes
 >
lyinginbedmon:
gahdamnpunk:
How is this NOT harassment? I have no words..
Something I remember from my Criminal Law classes is that, quite genuinely, looking at someone (occasionally even pointedly not doing so) can constitute assault.
It seems absurd, looking at someone? Where’s the harm, right?
Well, it turns out it’s so that the law has recourse against people who just stand in a public space and start through someone’s living room window. For weeks.
Just randomly chasing somebody, even without intent to actually harm, is legally assault. It’s not harmless, it’s months or even years of therapy and paranoia against ever going outside your home, if you even think your home is still safe.
TLDR: Yes the law has already seen you play “I’m not touching you” and it is already fed up with your BS.

lyinginbedmon: gahdamnpunk: How is this NOT harassment? I have no words.. Something I remember from my Criminal Law classes is that, quit...

She Had: Same thing as yous Theseus. ARIADNE! What are YOU deing here? We're in THE UNDERWORLD. T got MURDERED raugh got thrown Oh, yeah, yikes. Me too, L+was was in though exile. ght off this It was cliff. Pretty bad. Hang on- Enough about ME Croy what have YOU been up to? I havent seen you in YEARS! didnt that keep in touch after that But okay here's what nappened: we after You mean, you lett me on Naxos to die? And you Said me, bt then I took oud marry You remember how we left Crete, after that sword gaveyu and golo thread, and killed the minotaur Jou and a nap you LEFT ME BEHIND I mean you can't REALLY blame me. You betrayed yar /family, How could you after THAT? My family fed people He didn't worry about my past We fell in love to a monster! and got married, But I forgive you guess because while I was on Naxos I met the most handsome Great glad you happy had a ife. Too bad all man I'd ever seen thngs an end, and Come to And ever since then, we've been so and so in love, and hapry now we're both stuck here in everything the Underworld... is Together just like the good old days... and alone for now... ARI ADNE WHERE ARE YOU Diony sus? Ft ARIADNE! Was so wonried! Babe! You... you married The God of Wine? God of Wine Ariadng I completely fargat weren't immortal. We need to fix that Theatre, and Ritual Madness, is the official ttle, I +hink. you Well decide laterSounds ike Plan And, hey Theseus? what do be the goddes thinkin passion NIce job with the minotaur. want to a let's now out Just get of here. For Yes? ruffboijuliaburnsides: oatmealraisinbagel: I know tumblr really loves Persephone and Hades, which I get, but my favorite Greek Mythical figure has to be Ariadne.  Until this year I had pretty much only ever heard of her in the context of the Theseus and the Minotaur myth, but her story actually continues past that and I love it.  (Disclaimer, as with any Greek myth there’s a billion versions, but my favorite goes like this) Ariadne helped Theseus kill the Minotaur.  She had to betray her family, but she knew she had to in order to stop the yearly sacrifices.  Theseus promised her he would marry her as thanks for her help. Theseus and Ariadne left Crete together, but since Theseus didn’t trust Ariadne to be a good wife, he left her behind on Naxos while she was napping.  Why didn’t he trust her to be a good wife?  She had betrayed her family. While on Naxos, Dionysus, god of wine, fertility, madness, theater, and celebration, happens to stop by.  He meets Ariadne and the two fall in love. Dionysus marries Ariadne.  Note: There are plenty of retellings of this myth, but almost all of them emphasize how happy Dionysus and Ariadne’s marriage was. Ariadne is killed and goes to Hades. Dionysus descends into Hades to get his wife back.  Ariadne gets to join the gods in Olympus, become immortal, and takes her place as the goddess of the labyrinth, mazes, paths, fertility, wine, and passion. Meanwhile, Theseus dies after being thrown off a cliff by Lycomedes. Ariadne is practically the personification of “the best revenge is living well” and I think that’s great. this is good shit.
She Had: Same thing
 as yous
 Theseus.
 ARIADNE!
 What are YOU
 deing here?
 We're in
 THE UNDERWORLD.
 T got
 MURDERED
 raugh
 got
 thrown
 Oh, yeah, yikes.
 Me too,
 L+was
 was in
 though
 exile.
 ght off
 this
 It was
 cliff.
 Pretty
 bad.
 Hang on- Enough about ME
 Croy
 what have YOU been
 up to? I havent
 seen you in
 YEARS!
 didnt
 that
 keep in touch
 after that
 But okay
 here's
 what
 nappened:
 we
 after
 You mean,
 you lett me on
 Naxos to die?

 And you
 Said
 me, bt then I took
 oud marry
 You remember how
 we left Crete, after
 that sword
 gaveyu
 and golo thread, and
 killed the minotaur
 Jou
 and
 a
 nap
 you
 LEFT ME
 BEHIND
 I
 mean you can't REALLY
 blame me. You betrayed yar
 /family, How could
 you
 after
 THAT?
 My family fed people
 He didn't
 worry
 about
 my past
 We fell in love
 to a
 monster!
 and got married,
 But I forgive you guess
 because while I was on Naxos
 I met the most handsome
 Great glad you
 happy
 had a
 ife. Too bad all
 man I'd ever seen
 thngs
 an end, and
 Come to
 And ever since then,
 we've been so
 and so in love,
 and
 hapry
 now we're
 both stuck here in
 everything
 the Underworld...
 is

 Together just
 like the good
 old days...
 and
 alone
 for now...
 ARI ADNE WHERE
 ARE
 YOU
 Diony sus?
 Ft ARIADNE!
 Was so
 wonried!
 Babe!
 You...
 you
 married The
 God of Wine?
 God of Wine Ariadng I completely fargat
 weren't immortal.
 We need to
 fix that
 Theatre, and
 Ritual
 Madness,
 is the
 official
 ttle, I
 +hink.
 you
 Well decide laterSounds ike
 Plan
 And, hey
 Theseus?
 what do
 be the goddes
 thinkin passion
 NIce job
 with the
 minotaur.
 want to
 a
 let's
 now
 out
 Just get
 of here.
 For
 Yes?
ruffboijuliaburnsides:
oatmealraisinbagel:

I know tumblr really loves Persephone and Hades, which I get, but my favorite Greek Mythical figure has to be Ariadne.  Until this year I had pretty much only ever heard of her in the context of the Theseus and the Minotaur myth, but her story actually continues past that and I love it.  (Disclaimer, as with any Greek myth there’s a billion versions, but my favorite goes like this)
Ariadne helped Theseus kill the Minotaur.  She had to betray her family, but she knew she had to in order to stop the yearly sacrifices.  Theseus promised her he would marry her as thanks for her help.
Theseus and Ariadne left Crete together, but since Theseus didn’t trust Ariadne to be a good wife, he left her behind on Naxos while she was napping.  Why didn’t he trust her to be a good wife?  She had betrayed her family.
While on Naxos, Dionysus, god of wine, fertility, madness, theater, and celebration, happens to stop by.  He meets Ariadne and the two fall in love.
Dionysus marries Ariadne.  Note: There are plenty of retellings of this myth, but almost all of them emphasize how happy Dionysus and Ariadne’s marriage was.
Ariadne is killed and goes to Hades.
Dionysus descends into Hades to get his wife back.  Ariadne gets to join the gods in Olympus, become immortal, and takes her place as the goddess of the labyrinth, mazes, paths, fertility, wine, and passion.
Meanwhile, Theseus dies after being thrown off a cliff by Lycomedes.
Ariadne is practically the personification of “the best revenge is living well” and I think that’s great.

this is good shit.

ruffboijuliaburnsides: oatmealraisinbagel: I know tumblr really loves Persephone and Hades, which I get, but my favorite Greek Mythical...

She Had: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
She Had: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

She Had: NEW EPISODE CN sarasvato: “Then she had low standards.”“Jaspers don’t give up!”“Rose!”I guess she really fell in the Underground at the end of Super Watermelon Island.
She Had: NEW EPISODE
 CN
sarasvato:

“Then she had low standards.”“Jaspers don’t give up!”“Rose!”I guess she really fell in the Underground at the end of Super Watermelon Island.

sarasvato: “Then she had low standards.”“Jaspers don’t give up!”“Rose!”I guess she really fell in the Underground at the end of Super Wa...