In The
In The

In The

Graduated
Graduated

Graduated

Thou Art
Thou Art

Thou Art

Are
Are

Are

Thats
Thats

Thats

The
The

The

Last
Last

Last

Not
Not

Not

But
But

But

Probably Not
Probably Not

Probably Not

🔥 | Latest

A Dream, Click, and Fake: Do you want to know something that people don't tell you about being married for a long time? You actually do run out of things to talk about I know you might think I am kidding, but I am being a million percent truthsies over here. As a child, I always wondered what married people talked about, and was assured by many a family member that there were always things to discuss This is a lie. A big, fat one. It's really unfortunate that no one was truthful with me, because here I am with nothing to say and completely unprepared on how to deal. My husband and I go on a weekly date night and after I go into detail about my wild day working from home (I ate a Lean Cuisine, I answered three emails, I found a dollar in the wash), I have nothing. The other day I started to tell my husband about this super interesting thing that had happened, but then I was like, "oh never mind, I'm saving that for our date tonight" and he's like "um, WHAT?" and I was like, "well, when I've got something good I save it for date night so I have something to talk about. It seems like such a waste to spend it on a regular day. So then he thought that was one of the weirdest things he's ever heard about, which I assumed maybe HE already did that too? But he was like, "No, people do not do that." It's like I don't know how to be a person the right way sometimes. Every now and again my husband will ask "did you bake anything today, hon?" and ifI made Créme Bruleé Brownies I say "nope" because I'm hiding them and don't want to share. These fudgy little bites of bliss are covered in a thick vanilla custard that slices up like a dream. A sprinkling of sugar and a run under the broiler gets that caramelized, crackly top. Basically, these are perfect and you need them right now. That is all benepla: kramergate: I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake
A Dream, Click, and Fake: Do you want to know something that people
 don't tell you about being married for a long
 time?
 You actually do run out of things to talk about
 I know you might think I am kidding, but I am
 being a million percent truthsies over here. As
 a child, I always wondered what married
 people talked about, and was assured by many
 a family member that there were always things
 to discuss
 This is a lie. A big, fat one.

 It's really unfortunate that no one was truthful
 with me, because here I am with nothing to say
 and completely unprepared on how to deal. My
 husband and I go on a weekly date night and
 after I go into detail about my wild day
 working from home (I ate a Lean Cuisine, I
 answered three emails, I found a dollar in the
 wash), I have nothing.
 The other day I started to tell my husband
 about this super interesting thing that had
 happened, but then I was like, "oh never mind,
 I'm saving that for our date tonight" and he's
 like "um, WHAT?" and I was like, "well, when
 I've got something good I save it for date night
 so I have something to talk about. It seems like
 such a waste to spend it on a regular day.
 So then he thought that was one of the weirdest
 things he's ever heard about, which I assumed
 maybe HE already did that too? But he was
 like, "No, people do not do that."
 It's like I don't know how to be a person the
 right way sometimes.

 Every now and again my husband will ask
 "did you bake anything today, hon?" and ifI
 made Créme Bruleé Brownies I say "nope"
 because I'm hiding them and don't want to
 share.
 These fudgy little bites of bliss are covered in a
 thick vanilla custard that slices up like a
 dream. A sprinkling of sugar and a run under
 the broiler gets that caramelized, crackly top.
 Basically, these are perfect and you need them
 right now. That is all
benepla:
kramergate:
I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood
this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake

benepla: kramergate: I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertati...

Dad, Family, and Friends: AT&T 2:40 PM * 76% ), 2 People Hi Mom, Dad I was going to wait until Mom got home to announce this in person, but I don't want to wait any longer. I recently discovered/ realized that I'm trans. I don't want to have a big giant discussion about this so l'm going to address what believe to be the most pressing questions right here No, it's not a personality Message X, á Pay 2 2:40 PM 2 People No, it's not a personality thing that I've beern repressing, it's just my body not feeling right. I'm still going to have the same personality that you know and love No, this is not some spur of the moment things, I've had these feelings for several years now, but it took getting linked to a transgender meme subreddit for me to understand what they meant. Yes, I do eventually Message X, á Pay Il AT&T 2:40 PM 2 People Yes, I do eventually want hormone treatments. Wether I want surgery or not is something I'll decide at a later date No I don't know how I'lI break the news to grandma, still figuring that out. I do know how I want to go about it with my friends and other family though No I am not into guys, so I guess that makes me lesbian as well. Message X, á Pay 2 AT&T 2:41 PM * 76% 2 People Thank you for all your love and support. l don't want to discuss this more until I get home today, and even then, I want some time to myself first. Please call me Grace Dad Woah First off know that we love you and will support you. I'll talk to you some more tonight. Message 0 Pay 2 I came out to my parents
Dad, Family, and Friends: AT&T
 2:40 PM
 * 76%
 ),
 2 People
 Hi Mom, Dad
 I was going to wait until
 Mom got home to
 announce this in
 person, but I don't want
 to wait any longer.
 I recently discovered/
 realized that I'm trans.
 I don't want to have a
 big giant discussion
 about this so l'm going
 to address what
 believe to be the most
 pressing questions right
 here
 No, it's not a personality
 Message
 X,
 á Pay
 2

 2:40 PM
 2 People
 No, it's not a personality
 thing that I've beern
 repressing, it's just my
 body not feeling right.
 I'm still going to have
 the same personality
 that you know and love
 No, this is not some
 spur of the moment
 things, I've had these
 feelings for several
 years now, but it took
 getting linked to a
 transgender meme
 subreddit for me to
 understand what they
 meant.
 Yes, I do eventually
 Message
 X,
 á Pay

 Il AT&T
 2:40 PM
 2 People
 Yes, I do eventually
 want hormone
 treatments.
 Wether I want surgery
 or not is something I'll
 decide at a later date
 No I don't know how I'lI
 break the news to
 grandma, still figuring
 that out. I do know how
 I want to go about it
 with my friends and
 other family though
 No I am not into guys,
 so I guess that makes
 me lesbian as well.
 Message
 X,
 á Pay
 2

 AT&T
 2:41 PM
 * 76%
 2 People
 Thank you for all your
 love and support.
 l don't want to discuss
 this more until I get
 home today, and even
 then, I want some time
 to myself first.
 Please call me Grace
 Dad
 Woah
 First off know that we
 love you and will
 support you.
 I'll talk to you some
 more tonight.
 Message
 0
 Pay
 2
I came out to my parents

I came out to my parents

Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool they start inviting me to their social events start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you browsedankmemes: Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh
Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous
 Shrimp saved my life
 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016
 >be depressed, suicidal xanax-
 addicted incel
 >one day I go to my /aq/fag
 uncle's house for some shit
 >he has pet shrimp, never seen
 anything like it before
 he offers to get me some
 53 KB JPG
 throw them in a barely cycled tank with some
 shitty rock
 >several shrimp die
 realize that I killed them with my apathy
 >realize I need to take responsibility for once in
 my life
 >do research, learn about water parameters and
 so on
 eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no
 more deaths
 >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
 >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost
 a decade
 the eggs disappear and I once again think I
 fucked up
 a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby
 shrimp
 l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they
 gazed upon the newborn Christ
 >by this point I live and breathe shrimp
 >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research
 and watching shrimp videos
 >l spend most of the money I had saved from my
 last job on shrimp products
 >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
 start putting effort into college in hope of getting
 a good job for my shrimp
 >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of
 dropping out
 relationship with parents improves since I am
 finally passionate about something and applying
 myself
 >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk
 excitedly about my shrimp
 for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp
 cake
 it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs
 cry like a little bitch when I see it
 >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been
 proud of me
 >college dorm neighbours demand to see my
 shrimp
 >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
 sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool
 they start inviting me to their social events
 start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the
 first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
 >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they
 knew
 We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it
 for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on
 you
browsedankmemes:

Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh

browsedankmemes: Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh

Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool they start inviting me to their social events start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh
Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous
 Shrimp saved my life
 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016
 >be depressed, suicidal xanax-
 addicted incel
 >one day I go to my /aq/fag
 uncle's house for some shit
 >he has pet shrimp, never seen
 anything like it before
 he offers to get me some
 53 KB JPG
 throw them in a barely cycled tank with some
 shitty rock
 >several shrimp die
 realize that I killed them with my apathy
 >realize I need to take responsibility for once in
 my life
 >do research, learn about water parameters and
 so on
 eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no
 more deaths
 >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
 >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost
 a decade
 the eggs disappear and I once again think I
 fucked up
 a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby
 shrimp
 l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they
 gazed upon the newborn Christ
 >by this point I live and breathe shrimp
 >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research
 and watching shrimp videos
 >l spend most of the money I had saved from my
 last job on shrimp products
 >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
 start putting effort into college in hope of getting
 a good job for my shrimp
 >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of
 dropping out
 relationship with parents improves since I am
 finally passionate about something and applying
 myself
 >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk
 excitedly about my shrimp
 for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp
 cake
 it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs
 cry like a little bitch when I see it
 >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been
 proud of me
 >college dorm neighbours demand to see my
 shrimp
 >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
 sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool
 they start inviting me to their social events
 start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the
 first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
 >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they
 knew
 We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it
 for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on
 you
Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh

Wholesome shrimp via /r/wholesomememes http://bit.ly/2BAEpHh

Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous Shrimp saved my life 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016 >be depressed, suicidal xanax- addicted incel >one day I go to my /aq/fag uncle's house for some shit >he has pet shrimp, never seen anything like it before he offers to get me some 53 KB JPG throw them in a barely cycled tank with some shitty rock >several shrimp die realize that I killed them with my apathy >realize I need to take responsibility for once in my life >do research, learn about water parameters and so on eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no more deaths >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost a decade the eggs disappear and I once again think I fucked up a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby shrimp l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they gazed upon the newborn Christ >by this point I live and breathe shrimp >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research and watching shrimp videos >l spend most of the money I had saved from my last job on shrimp products >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending start putting effort into college in hope of getting a good job for my shrimp >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of dropping out relationship with parents improves since I am finally passionate about something and applying myself >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk excitedly about my shrimp for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp cake it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs cry like a little bitch when I see it >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been proud of me >college dorm neighbours demand to see my shrimp >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool they start inviting me to their social events start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the first time in my life that I'm fun and smart >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they knew We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on you Green text is nice sometimes. Sometimes
Animals, Beautiful, and Birthday: : Anonymous
 Shrimp saved my life
 09/12/18(Wed)18:48:30 No.2813016
 >be depressed, suicidal xanax-
 addicted incel
 >one day I go to my /aq/fag
 uncle's house for some shit
 >he has pet shrimp, never seen
 anything like it before
 he offers to get me some
 53 KB JPG
 throw them in a barely cycled tank with some
 shitty rock
 >several shrimp die
 realize that I killed them with my apathy
 >realize I need to take responsibility for once in
 my life
 >do research, learn about water parameters and
 so on
 eventually I have a beautiful planted tank with no
 more deaths
 >notice a female shrimp carrying eggs
 >haven't felt this excited about anything in almost
 a decade
 the eggs disappear and I once again think I
 fucked up
 a few days later I see a tiny transparent baby
 shrimp
 l suddenly know how the shepherds felt as they
 gazed upon the newborn Christ
 >by this point I live and breathe shrimp
 >all my spare time is spent on shrimp research
 and watching shrimp videos
 >l spend most of the money I had saved from my
 last job on shrimp products
 >quit the Xanax to support shrimp spending
 start putting effort into college in hope of getting
 a good job for my shrimp
 >grades improve, no longer facing the prospect of
 dropping out
 relationship with parents improves since I am
 finally passionate about something and applying
 myself
 >l see genuine happiness in their eyes when I talk
 excitedly about my shrimp
 for my birthday my mom makes me a shrimp
 cake
 it even has fondant legs and little chocolate eggs
 cry like a little bitch when I see it
 >mom hugs me and tells me she's always been
 proud of me
 >college dorm neighbours demand to see my
 shrimp
 >shit they're gonna think I'm autistic
 sthey actually think my shrimp are really cool
 they start inviting me to their social events
 start interacting with girls, get told by girls for the
 first time in my life that I'm fun and smart
 >l think my shrimp would be proud of me if they
 knew
 We're gonna make it bros. Even if you can't do it
 for yourself, do it for the animals that depend on
 you
Green text is nice sometimes. Sometimes

Green text is nice sometimes. Sometimes

I Bet, Shower, and Sorry: THE EXPERIMENT A GROUP OF SCIENTISTS PLACED 5 MONKEYS IN A CAGE AND IN THE MIDDLE, A LADDER WITH BANANAS ON TOP EVERY TIME A MONKEY WENT UP THE LADDER, THE SCIENTISTS SOAKED THE REST OF THE MONKEYS WITH COLD WATER. AFTER A WHILE, EVERY TIME A MONKEY WENT UP THE LADDER, THE OTHER ONES BEAT UP THE ONE ON THE LADDER. AFTER SOME TIME, NO MONKEY DARE TO GO UP THE LADDER REGARDLESS OF THE TEMPTATION. SCIENTISTS THEN DECIDED TO SUBSTITUTE ONE OF THE MONKEYS. THE FIRST THING THIS NEW MONKEY DID WAS TO GO UP THE LADDER. IMMEDIATELY THE OTHER MONKEYS BEAT HIM UP. AFTER SEVERAL BEATINGS, THE NEW MEMBER LEARNED NOT TO CLIMB THE LADDER EVEN THOUGH NEVER KNEW WHY THE SECOND MONKEY WAS SUBSTITUTED AND THE SAME OCCURED. THE FIRST MONKEY PARTICIPATED ON THE BEATING FOR THE SECOND MONKEY. A THIRD MONKEY WAS CHANGED AND THE SAME WAS REPEATED. THE FOURTH WAS SUBSTITUTED AND THE BEATING WAS REPEATED AND FINALLY THE FIFTH MONKEY WAS REPLACED. WHAT WAS LEFT WAS A GROUP OF 5 MONKEYS THAT EVEN THOUGH NEVER RECEIVED A COLD SHOWER, CONTINUED TO BEAT UP ANY MONKEY WHO ATTEMPTED TO CLIMB THE LADDER. IF IT WAS POSSIBLE TO ASK THE MONKEYS WHY THEY WOULD BEAT UPALL THOSE WHO ATTEMPTED TO GO UP THE LADDER, I BET THEIR ANSWER WOULD BE: "I DON T KNOW. THAT'S HOW THINGS ARE DONE AROUND HERE." DON T MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS AS THEY MIGHT BE ASKING THEMSELVES WHY WE CONTINUE TO DO WHAT WE ARE DOING IF THERE IS A DIFFERENT WAY OUT THERE. Conclusion: Don't follow others behavior, think before you follow. And sorry for the long post, here's a BANANA epicjohndoe: This Experiment Made A Lot Of People Think
I Bet, Shower, and Sorry: THE EXPERIMENT
 A GROUP OF SCIENTISTS PLACED 5 MONKEYS IN A CAGE
 AND IN THE MIDDLE, A LADDER WITH BANANAS ON TOP
 EVERY TIME A MONKEY WENT UP THE LADDER, THE
 SCIENTISTS SOAKED THE REST OF THE MONKEYS WITH
 COLD WATER.
 AFTER A WHILE, EVERY TIME A MONKEY WENT UP THE
 LADDER, THE OTHER ONES BEAT UP THE ONE ON THE
 LADDER.
 AFTER SOME TIME, NO MONKEY DARE TO GO UP THE
 LADDER REGARDLESS OF THE TEMPTATION.
 SCIENTISTS THEN DECIDED TO SUBSTITUTE ONE OF THE
 MONKEYS. THE FIRST THING THIS NEW MONKEY DID WAS
 TO GO UP THE LADDER. IMMEDIATELY THE OTHER MONKEYS
 BEAT HIM UP.
 AFTER SEVERAL BEATINGS, THE NEW MEMBER LEARNED
 NOT TO CLIMB THE LADDER EVEN THOUGH NEVER KNEW
 WHY
 THE SECOND MONKEY WAS SUBSTITUTED AND THE SAME
 OCCURED. THE FIRST MONKEY PARTICIPATED ON THE
 BEATING FOR THE SECOND MONKEY. A THIRD MONKEY
 WAS CHANGED AND THE SAME WAS REPEATED.
 THE FOURTH WAS SUBSTITUTED AND THE BEATING WAS
 REPEATED AND FINALLY THE FIFTH MONKEY WAS REPLACED.
 WHAT WAS LEFT WAS A GROUP OF 5 MONKEYS THAT
 EVEN THOUGH NEVER RECEIVED A COLD SHOWER,
 CONTINUED TO BEAT UP ANY MONKEY WHO ATTEMPTED
 TO CLIMB THE LADDER.
 IF IT WAS POSSIBLE TO ASK THE MONKEYS WHY THEY
 WOULD BEAT UPALL THOSE WHO ATTEMPTED TO GO UP
 THE LADDER, I BET THEIR ANSWER WOULD BE:
 "I DON T KNOW. THAT'S HOW THINGS ARE DONE
 AROUND HERE."
 DON T MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE THIS WITH
 OTHERS AS THEY MIGHT BE ASKING THEMSELVES WHY
 WE CONTINUE TO DO WHAT WE ARE DOING IF THERE
 IS A DIFFERENT WAY OUT THERE.
 Conclusion:
 Don't follow others behavior, think
 before you follow.
 And
 sorry for the long post, here's a
 BANANA
epicjohndoe:

This Experiment Made A Lot Of People Think

epicjohndoe: This Experiment Made A Lot Of People Think

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook