The
The

The

Blocking
Blocking

Blocking

And
And

And

the human centipede first sequence
 the human centipede first sequence

the human centipede first sequence

fight scenes
 fight scenes

fight scenes

fact
fact

fact

cred
cred

cred

netflixs
netflixs

netflixs

dieing
dieing

dieing

dunks
dunks

dunks

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Family, Friends, and Fucking: do older generations not get fatalistic humor?? like the other day my friend's parents were hanging around and we were joking and ¡ W:as like "well no matter what i can always fling myself off the nearest cliff and they didn't laugh then later the mom pulled me aside and was like "maybe you should get some help, sweetie" like stfu?? help? in this I honestly don't think they get it as a coping mechanism, they think it's a cry for help rather i'd even say it's past just coping and is also now a category of Stuff Kids Got Used To When No One Was Looking; not everyone using that humor is even covering up something bigger, we just stopped thinking along the line, and most parents don't seem My boss opened a door and missed me by inches, he said whoops, almost killed you there!" My result of "Oh, if only. Led to an as the goddamn Addams Family and the Family that lives next door and runs away screaming at the end of the episode I will say that it's interesting because this kind of hurnor is very, very prevalent Which is honestly a place you would expect fatalistic humor to be common and used as a coping method. You're one "oops away from death on the flight deck, one inch to the left and you don't have a head anymone because the jet that just landed now owns it as a wing-tip decoration. So you joke about it because lowkey you're fucking terrified it'll happen, but you're also desensitized to the danger itself because you face it every single day for 12 hours at a time. Anyway so we all know the mindset you adopt in the military because of the danger so to realise that an identical sense of humor has been adopted by normal people should about the amount of stress modem young It was also common in previous generations that had to deal with say, war and economic One of my favorite movies is Singing In The Rain which came in out 1952, right on the tailcoat of two world wars and a looming cold one, and for all it's a cheery happy musical, it's got this really bleak witty humor too, things like call me a cab! "okay, you're a cab! or the scene where Don says he'll be homeless by the next day and Cosmo cheerfully tells him not to be ridiculous.. the bank bailiffs And then quite probably one of my favorite opening lines, where two young girls are watching Lina on screen and one says "She's so refined. I think I'll kill myself Which really resonates with a lot of the things we say now when talking about people we find personally attractive, meaning not only is fatalism not a new trend, but those two girls at the starting sequence of Singing In The Rain are totally there for Lina, not Don So it's almost as if you can use fatalist humor as a sort of social atmosphere barometer. If fatalist humors starts to become Maybe sometimes it will be obvious, like during war times or in potentially dangerous it's less obvious, like the younger generation's views of their future. Either way, from all the comments above, it seems to have somehow emerged as a reliable measure of how things this explains a lot
Family, Friends, and Fucking: do older generations not get fatalistic
 humor?? like the other day my friend's parents
 were hanging around and we were joking and
 ¡ W:as like "well no matter what i can always
 fling myself off the nearest cliff and they
 didn't laugh then later the mom pulled me
 aside and was like "maybe you should get
 some help, sweetie" like stfu?? help? in this
 I honestly don't think they get it as a coping
 mechanism, they think it's a cry for help rather
 i'd even say it's past just coping and is also
 now a category of Stuff Kids Got Used To
 When No One Was Looking; not everyone
 using that humor is even covering up
 something bigger, we just stopped thinking
 along the line, and most parents don't seem
 My boss opened a door and missed me by
 inches, he said whoops, almost killed you
 there!" My result of "Oh, if only. Led to an
 as the goddamn Addams Family and the
 Family that lives next door and runs away
 screaming at the end of the episode
 I will say that it's interesting because
 this kind of hurnor is very, very prevalent
 Which is honestly a place you would expect
 fatalistic humor to be common and used as
 a coping method. You're one "oops away
 from death on the flight deck, one inch to
 the left and you don't have a head anymone
 because the jet that just landed now owns it
 as a wing-tip decoration. So you joke about
 it because lowkey you're fucking terrified it'll
 happen, but you're also desensitized to the
 danger itself because you face it every single
 day for 12 hours at a time.
 Anyway so we all know the mindset you
 adopt in the military because of the danger
 so to realise that an identical sense of humor
 has been adopted by normal people should
 about the amount of stress modem young
 It was also common in previous generations
 that had to deal with say, war and economic
 One of my favorite movies is Singing In The
 Rain which came in out 1952, right on the
 tailcoat of two world wars and a looming cold
 one, and for all it's a cheery happy musical, it's
 got this really bleak witty humor too, things
 like call me a cab! "okay, you're a cab! or
 the scene where Don says he'll be homeless
 by the next day and Cosmo cheerfully tells
 him not to be ridiculous.. the bank bailiffs
 And then quite probably one of my favorite
 opening lines, where two young girls are
 watching Lina on screen and one says "She's
 so refined. I think I'll kill myself
 Which really resonates with a lot of the things
 we say now when talking about people we
 find personally attractive, meaning not only is
 fatalism not a new trend, but those two girls
 at the starting sequence of Singing In The
 Rain are totally there for Lina, not Don
 So it's almost as if you can use fatalist
 humor as a sort of social atmosphere
 barometer. If fatalist humors starts to become
 Maybe sometimes it will be obvious, like
 during war times or in potentially dangerous
 it's less obvious, like the younger generation's
 views of their future. Either way, from all the
 comments above, it seems to have somehow
 emerged as a reliable measure of how things
 this explains a lot

this explains a lot

Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter spaceorphan18: sulkingheals: downtroddendeity: jacemp3: monkeysaysficus: audrey-hepbae: catchymemes: 10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food. By Blossom The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week.  I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen. We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god? I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up. Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana. Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours. Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar. Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy… “Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily. Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.) Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.” There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason. Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk. Just use superglue. “Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”: This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say: “Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,” what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things. But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike… Hot coals and peanut butter This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start. Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen. You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure. Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive? I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal. But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this. Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing. @ohnofixit I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong. Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 
Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:


audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food.
By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week. 


I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA


leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days

Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen.
We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god?
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
 milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which 
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, 
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy…


“Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.)
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.”
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
Just use superglue.
“Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”:
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
“Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,”
what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike…
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing.
@ohnofixit


I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong.

Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 

spaceorphan18: sulkingheals: downtroddendeity: jacemp3: monkeysaysficus: audrey-hepbae: catchymemes: 10 tricks you didn’t know you c...

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: louieferric: Kidding (2018) This is called Shaynas Sequence
nsfw
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: louieferric:
Kidding (2018)
This is called 
Shaynas Sequence

louieferric: Kidding (2018) This is called Shaynas Sequence

Clock, Countdown, and Energy: buying peaches is so stressful because you have to consume them so quickly... it's like the moment the cashier types in that number the alpha peach turns to its brothers in the bags and says "alright listen up boys, it's time to remember your training. i want to see immense bruising by sundown. i want to see you near inedible by sunrise. remember it is better to die a free man than to be eaten." you gotta wolf down all of your peaches at the check out counter while the trader joe's employees eagerly look at the Peach Consumption Countdown Clock and cheer you on. these peaches have sensors on them that can tell when they come into contact with human hands so they can begin their self-destruct sequence like you're in a spy movie and the peach just relayed a message to you about the whereabouts of jimmy hoffa's decayed remains je-suis-hetalia Jimmy Hoffa is likely dead m4ge this response carries so much chaotic cursed energy. jimmy hoffa was declared dead in 1982 after disappearing in 1975. he was born in 1913, meaning he would be the miraculous age of 105 today if he wasn't dead. "likely dead." the fact that it's a hetalia blog trying to tell me that he is likely dead. the fact that i specifically mention his decayed corpse in my post so there is literally no reason for someone to alert me that he is "likely" deceased. the fact that this hetalia blog is trying to tell this to me, a person who up until recently literally worked for the international brotherhood of teamsters as a person in charge of handling their historical records. i spent two years of my life answering phone calls from people asking me if i personally knew what happened to jimmy hoffa's body. ive spent a significantly longer amount of time trying to forget that hetalia exists. my entire career as a hetalia faceboolk roleplayer at the age of 11 just flashed through my eyes. i legitimately cannot express how much this response has effected me. ive been staring at it for7 minutes. i feel like ive entered the twilight zone je-suis-hetalia I don't ever remember writing that when did I write that m4ge everything about this is cursed peaches
Clock, Countdown, and Energy: buying peaches is so stressful because
 you have to consume them so quickly...
 it's like the moment the cashier types in
 that number the alpha peach turns to
 its brothers in the bags and
 says "alright listen up boys, it's time to
 remember your training. i want to see
 immense bruising by sundown. i want to
 see you near inedible by sunrise.
 remember it is better to die a free man
 than to be eaten." you gotta wolf down
 all of your peaches at the check out
 counter while the trader joe's
 employees eagerly look at the Peach
 Consumption Countdown Clock and
 cheer you on. these peaches have
 sensors on them that can tell when they
 come into contact with human hands so
 they can begin their self-destruct
 sequence like you're in a spy movie and
 the peach just relayed a message to
 you about the whereabouts of jimmy
 hoffa's decayed remains
 je-suis-hetalia
 Jimmy Hoffa is likely dead
 m4ge
 this response carries so much chaotic
 cursed energy. jimmy hoffa was
 declared dead in 1982 after
 disappearing in 1975. he was born in
 1913, meaning he would be the
 miraculous age of 105 today if he
 wasn't dead. "likely dead." the fact that
 it's a hetalia blog trying to tell me that
 he is likely dead. the fact that i
 specifically mention his decayed corpse
 in my post so there is literally no reason
 for someone to alert me that he is
 "likely" deceased. the fact that this
 hetalia blog is trying to tell this to me, a
 person who up until recently literally
 worked for the international
 brotherhood of teamsters as a person
 in charge of handling their historical
 records. i spent two years of my life
 answering phone calls from people
 asking me if i personally knew what
 happened to jimmy hoffa's body. ive
 spent a significantly longer amount of
 time trying to forget that hetalia exists.
 my entire career as a hetalia faceboolk
 roleplayer at the age of 11 just flashed
 through my eyes. i legitimately cannot
 express how much this response has
 effected me. ive been staring at it for7
 minutes. i feel like ive entered the
 twilight zone
 je-suis-hetalia
 I don't ever remember writing that
 when did I write that
 m4ge
 everything about this is cursed
peaches

peaches