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Beer, Drunk, and Friends: ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I tried to steal a large, expensive bottle of beer from a house I cleverly hid it by stuffing it into my pants. party I was attending. I knew there was only one thing I could do to make this right. But as I was saying goodbye... The bottle fell out and shattered on the ground. 0 SNASH T ran the hell away. Collegelumon ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... CollegeHumor I went online and became an ordained minister. This is the number one best idea. QUIKMINISTER.BIZ "Twice as holy for half the price!" SIGN UP TODAY! So now, when you sneeze, and I say "bless you"... It secretly means so much more. ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I started doing magic tricks for all of the employees at a bar. Whether they wanted to see them or not. Whassat behind yer ear...? Ish... thish yer card? uh, yeah actually! It's a shot! A few months later, I went back to that bar, assuming that by now no one would remember my embarrasing magic show. But the bouncer recognized me... Yeah, you're the guy with all the magic tricks, right? Hey pal, don'tIknow you from somewhere? well I've got one say to you... thing to WE STILL TALK THAT WAS SO AWESOME! ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! CollegeHumor ...He was a big fan. ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I got super nauseous while I was riding in the car with friends so I barfed out the window, all over everyone in the back seat... ...and directly onto the windshield of the police car behind us. We got pulled over, and everyone in the car got a ticket... SPLAT!! CollegeHumon ...except for me, because I was the only one with my seatbelt on. madamebomb: pr1nceshawn: One time, when I was drunk… THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH
nsfw
Beer, Drunk, and Friends: ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I tried to steal a large, expensive
 bottle of beer from a house
 I cleverly hid it by stuffing
 it into my pants.
 party I was attending.
 I knew there was only
 one thing I could do
 to make this right.
 But as I was saying
 goodbye...
 The bottle fell out
 and shattered
 on the ground.
 0
 SNASH
 T ran the hell away.
 Collegelumon

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 CollegeHumor
 I went online and became an
 ordained minister.
 This is the number
 one best idea.
 QUIKMINISTER.BIZ
 "Twice as holy for
 half the price!"
 SIGN UP TODAY!
 So now, when you sneeze, and I
 say "bless you"...
 It secretly means so much more.

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I started doing magic tricks for
 all of the employees at a bar.
 Whether they wanted to see
 them or not.
 Whassat behind yer ear...?
 Ish... thish yer card?
 uh, yeah actually!
 It's a shot!
 A few months later, I went back to that bar,
 assuming that by now no one would remember
 my embarrasing magic show.
 But the bouncer recognized me...
 Yeah, you're the guy with all
 the magic tricks, right?
 Hey pal, don'tIknow you from
 somewhere?
 well I've got one
 say to you...
 thing to
 WE STILL TALK
 THAT WAS SO AWESOME!
 ABOUT IT ALL
 THE TIME!
 CollegeHumor
 ...He was a
 big fan.

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I got super nauseous while I was
 riding in the car with friends
 so I barfed out the window, all
 over everyone in the back seat...
 ...and directly onto the
 windshield of the police car
 behind us.
 We got pulled over, and
 everyone in the car got a ticket...
 SPLAT!!
 CollegeHumon
 ...except for me, because I was the only one with my seatbelt on.
madamebomb:

pr1nceshawn:

One time, when I was drunk…

THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

madamebomb: pr1nceshawn: One time, when I was drunk… THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

Alive, Animals, and Beautiful: SPEED DATING TODAY! vixiano: thedirtythirty: wonderingifyoukneww: secretly-obsessed-with-fandoms: arylenchanted: ungratefullittleshit: msannedree: rowan-fcb: causewecan: creamsifemme-kitty: totallynotthecops: scars-of-stars: dragonsrequiem: deigns: its-jakeperalta: deigns: petl0vers: celebrity–outfits: its-jakeperalta: 10 REASONS TO ADOPT A PET You save a life. The cost of adoption is less than buying a pet. Most shelter animals have had medical treatment and are spayed/neutered, microchipped, and up to date with vaccines. There are more unique pets to choose from in shelters. Age, breeds, mixed breeds, and personality choices are greater. Many are already trained. Your bed is pre-warmed on cold winter nights. Animals are just ready to love you, no matter what. Adopting from a shelter opens a cage for another pet who needs a new forever home. An adult pet takes the guess work out of determining size, thickness of coat, and energy level. Mixed breeds are unique compared to purebreeds and may have less genetically inherited health problems. Take this quiz to find out which dog is right for you! Please adopt some lovely doggos As someone who just adopted a third doggo from the shelter, please do it if you can find a dog right for you. Those shelters do everything they can to keep them alive, but it’s a family that keeps them happy. Okay, but is there a quiz for which shelter kitty I should get? @deigns​  good u asked, yes!!! sorry I forgot to add that one, anyway here is it What Breed of Cat should you get? Ty jake peralta Plus? Those animals in the pound? They KNOW that they are on death row. My first dog as a married woman was an eleventh hour adoption. A 13-y-o basset hound mix (pound said they thought he was 11 because they were trying to save him by making him sound a teeny bit younger) and he was “Til death do we part” loyal. We lost him 4 years later to cancer, and we (the family had grown from 2 to 3 humans) were devastated. My sister? Fosters cats, and ended up with a charmer who’d been hit by a car. Sephiroth is a well loved asshole, and his brother, Cloud (a stray who found a sucker bet), is almost canine levels of friendly. Be a superhero. Save a life. Rescue. As someone who has worked in a shelter for two years and watched many of my babies go to their incredible forever homes, you wouldn’t BELIEVE how big of a difference you can see in the animals’ behavior from being in the kennels to even just a few minutes after leaving. When their new owners are filling out the paperwork, there’s already a new spark in their eyes. They KNOW they’re going home; they know they’re getting to be loved the way all animals deserve to be. There are so many beautiful animals in shelters that get overlooked. Next time you’re searching for a companion, check your local shelters and rescues. Not only are you getting a companion, but you’re saving a life. I got my Norwegian Forest Cat from a shelter. He’s huge, and never shuts up, and is moody and a prolific hunter (or was. He’s not allowed out), and the biggest cuddliest mamas boy on the planet. i just adopted my first cat from the humane society ! her name is Persephone and she’s 14 almost 15 years old. i love my angel so much. I got all three of my cats from shelters and they are honestly so appreciative! They are amazing little creatures and have become the light of my life…. please adopt!! You won’t regret it and neither will your little ball of fur. This cutie used to be a stray in Greece. A lot of people try to poisen them, because there are so many strays there (which is the peoples fault. They buy puppies and leave them on the streets when they are older). I‘m happy, I had the chance to safe my little lady. I still wish to safe more. They are always so happy when you only pet them or just give them a bit of attention. My babies Penelope and Eloise were irresponsibly let outside without being spayed. Both got pregnant and their owner dumped them at the shelter two weeks before they were due with kittens. Due to being full to capacity, they were immediately at the top of the kill list. Thankfully a foster rescued them, got them healthy, helped them birth nine healthy kittens between the two of them, rescued four more orphan kittens that these girls adopted and nursed, got them ALL fixed, got ALL THIRTEEN kittens good homes, and I adopted these silly, destructive, adorable, loud, cuddle bugs. They’re a bonded pair, and they’ve brought light and love and laughter into my life. Please adopt!!!! Please fix your pets! Save a love, be compassionate, and find your best friend! Both adopted in a shelter. Best decision I have ever made. My husband and I adopted this little ball of love from a shelter and he’s literally the most amazing dog in the world. ❤️ got all four of my loves from our local shelter. absolute sweethearts ❤️ Got this pretty fur ball from a local shelter 🥰 #adoptdontshop The future wife and I adopted this 3-legged snuggle bug from our local humane society this summer and it’s one of, if not THE, best decision we have made ❤️🥰 My adopted baby! Please don’t disregard shelters just because you want a certain breed! Either sign up to volunteer at a shelter (you’ll get the inside scoop on the dogs/cats) or visit the shelter every day or every other day. There are always so many different breeds, some just get scooped up quicker than others! My precious boy!!! We actually adopted him throigh Facebook from Romania - if your shelter doesn’t have the breed you want, there are so many other places to look! Follow rescue centre pages on social media and look on websites!
Alive, Animals, and Beautiful: SPEED
 DATING
 TODAY!
vixiano:
thedirtythirty:

wonderingifyoukneww:

secretly-obsessed-with-fandoms:

arylenchanted:

ungratefullittleshit:


msannedree:

rowan-fcb:

causewecan:

creamsifemme-kitty:


totallynotthecops:

scars-of-stars:

dragonsrequiem:


deigns:

its-jakeperalta:

deigns:

petl0vers:

celebrity–outfits:

its-jakeperalta:

10 REASONS TO ADOPT A PET
You save a life.
The cost of adoption is less than buying a pet.
Most shelter animals have had medical treatment and are spayed/neutered, microchipped, and up to date with vaccines.
There are more unique pets to choose from in shelters. Age, breeds, mixed breeds, and personality choices are greater.
Many are already trained.
Your bed is pre-warmed on cold winter nights.
Animals are just ready to love you, no matter what.
Adopting from a shelter opens a cage for another pet who needs a new forever home.
An adult pet takes the guess work out of determining size, thickness of coat, and energy level.
Mixed breeds are unique compared to purebreeds and may have less genetically inherited health problems.
Take this quiz to find out which dog is right for you!

Please adopt some lovely doggos



As someone who just adopted a third doggo from the shelter, please do it if you can find a dog right for you. Those shelters do everything they can to keep them alive, but it’s a family that keeps them happy.





Okay, but is there a quiz for which shelter kitty I should get?



@deigns​ 

good u asked, yes!!! sorry I forgot to add that one, anyway here is it


What Breed of Cat should you get? 



Ty jake peralta


Plus? Those animals in the pound? They KNOW that they are on death row. My first dog as a married woman was an eleventh hour adoption. A 13-y-o basset hound mix (pound said they thought he was 11 because they were trying to save him by making him sound a teeny bit younger) and he was “Til death do we part” loyal. We lost him 4 years later to cancer, and we (the family had grown from 2 to 3 humans) were devastated.
My sister? Fosters cats, and ended up with a charmer who’d been hit by a car. Sephiroth is a well loved asshole, and his brother, Cloud (a stray who found a sucker bet), is almost canine levels of friendly.
Be a superhero. Save a life. Rescue.


As someone who has worked in a shelter for two years and watched many of my babies go to their incredible forever homes, you wouldn’t BELIEVE how big of a difference you can see in the animals’ behavior from being in the kennels to even just a few minutes after leaving. When their new owners are filling out the paperwork, there’s already a new spark in their eyes. They KNOW they’re going home; they know they’re getting to be loved the way all animals deserve to be. There are so many beautiful animals in shelters that get overlooked. Next time you’re searching for a companion, check your local shelters and rescues. Not only are you getting a companion, but you’re saving a life. 


I got my Norwegian Forest Cat from a shelter. He’s huge, and never shuts up, and is moody and a prolific hunter (or was. He’s not allowed out), and the biggest cuddliest mamas boy on the planet. 


i just adopted my first cat from the humane society ! her name is Persephone and she’s 14 almost 15 years old. i love my angel so much. 




I got all three of my cats from shelters and they are honestly so appreciative! They are amazing little creatures and have become the light of my life…. please adopt!! You won’t regret it and neither will your little ball of fur. 


This cutie used to be a stray in Greece. A lot of people try to poisen them, because there are so many strays there (which is the peoples fault. They buy puppies and leave them on the streets when they are older).
I‘m happy, I had the chance to safe my little lady. I still wish to safe more. They are always so happy when you only pet them or just give them a bit of attention.




My babies Penelope and Eloise were irresponsibly let outside without being spayed. Both got pregnant and their owner dumped them at the shelter two weeks before they were due with kittens. Due to being full to capacity, they were immediately at the top of the kill list. Thankfully a foster rescued them, got them healthy, helped them birth nine healthy kittens between the two of them, rescued four more orphan kittens that these girls adopted and nursed, got them ALL fixed, got ALL THIRTEEN kittens good homes, and I adopted these silly, destructive, adorable, loud, cuddle bugs. They’re a bonded pair, and they’ve brought light and love and laughter into my life. Please adopt!!!! Please fix your pets! Save a love, be compassionate, and find your best friend! 




Both adopted in a shelter. Best decision I have ever made.




My husband and I adopted this little ball of love from a shelter and he’s literally the most amazing dog in the world. ❤️ 




got all four of my loves from our local shelter. absolute sweethearts ❤️


Got this pretty fur ball from a local shelter 🥰  #adoptdontshop 




The future wife and I adopted this 3-legged snuggle bug from our local humane society this summer and it’s one of, if not THE, best decision we have made ❤️🥰


My adopted baby! Please don’t disregard shelters just because you want a certain breed! Either sign up to volunteer at a shelter (you’ll get the inside scoop on the dogs/cats) or visit the shelter every day or every other day. There are always so many different breeds, some just get scooped up quicker than others!


My precious boy!!! We actually adopted him throigh Facebook from Romania - if your shelter doesn’t have the breed you want, there are so many other places to look! Follow rescue centre pages on social media and look on websites!

vixiano: thedirtythirty: wonderingifyoukneww: secretly-obsessed-with-fandoms: arylenchanted: ungratefullittleshit: msannedree: rowan-...