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Gorilla Walking

Gorilla Walking

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Take

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The Internets

The Internets

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The Hell

The Hell

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Children, Climbing, and Fucking: elidyce: luckyladylily: ohnoagremlin: itsvondell: off-in-lala-land: You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time. imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting. Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult! Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done. Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks. Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks* Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.
Children, Climbing, and Fucking: elidyce:

luckyladylily:

ohnoagremlin:

itsvondell:

off-in-lala-land:

You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time.

imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun


take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright 


Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting.
Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult!

Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done.
Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks.
Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks*
Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.

elidyce: luckyladylily: ohnoagremlin: itsvondell: off-in-lala-land: You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip...

Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18 02:56 ....ll Thread James Dator @James.. 17 May In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu Reeves story 615 ti 19.2K 54.3K James Dator @James.. 17 May Keanu came to the movie theater I worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was working on the Matrix series at the time. It's a quiet, Wednesday morning almost nobody is seeing movies. 6 C t524 8,415 James Dator @James.. 17 May I'm working the box office, bored as hell and suddenly this dude walks up in jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize it's Keanu Reeves 7 1450 8,840 James Dator @James 17 Mayv He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell," the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking star struck I do what any sensible 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to give him my employee discount. This means he needs to sign my sheet and therefore I have his autograph 5 8,595 t439 James Dator @James. 17 May "I don't work here," Keanu says. Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm flustered and just charge him the normal price. Kicking myself after for not getting his autograph 9 8,300 t 410 James Dator @James.. 17 May 2 minutes later there's a knock on the door behind me that leads into the box office. I assume it's my manager. It's Keanu. 94 t 409 8,297 17 May "I realized you probably wanted my autograph," he says. "So I signed this." He hands me a receipt from the concessions stand that he signed on the back. He then casually throws an ice James Dator @James... cream cone in the trash can and sees his movie 26 t 639 13.8K James Dator @James Dator realize later that he bought an ice cream cone he didn't want, just to get receipt paper so he could scribble his autograph for a 16-year-old idiot. 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes awesomacious: Sweet Keanu
Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18
 02:56 ....ll
 Thread
 James Dator @James.. 17 May
 In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu
 Reeves story
 615
 ti 19.2K 54.3K
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 Keanu came to the movie theater I
 worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was
 working on the Matrix series at the time.
 It's a quiet, Wednesday morning
 almost nobody is seeing movies.
 6 C
 t524
 8,415
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 I'm working the box office, bored as hell
 and suddenly this dude walks up in
 jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding
 helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian
 looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30
 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize
 it's Keanu Reeves
 7
 1450
 8,840
 James Dator @James 17 Mayv
 He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell,"
 the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking
 star struck I do what any sensible
 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to
 give him my employee discount. This
 means he needs to sign my sheet and
 therefore I have his autograph
 5
 8,595
 t439
 James Dator @James. 17 May
 "I don't work here," Keanu says.
 Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm
 flustered and just charge him the normal
 price. Kicking myself after for not getting
 his autograph
 9
 8,300
 t 410
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 2 minutes later there's a knock on the
 door behind me that leads into the box
 office. I assume it's my manager. It's
 Keanu.
 94
 t 409
 8,297
 17 May
 "I realized you probably wanted my
 autograph," he says. "So I signed this."
 He hands me a receipt from the
 concessions stand that he signed on the
 back. He then casually throws an ice
 James Dator
 @James...
 cream cone in the trash can and sees his
 movie
 26
 t 639
 13.8K
 James Dator
 @James Dator
 realize later that he bought an
 ice cream cone he didn't want,
 just to get receipt paper so he
 could scribble his autograph for a
 16-year-old idiot.
 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone
 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes
awesomacious:

Sweet Keanu

awesomacious: Sweet Keanu

Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 taraljc: lemonsharks: nikkoliferous: biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe. Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War. Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this” https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast. If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin. And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit? very absofuckingluteky horrifying
Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
taraljc:

lemonsharks:


nikkoliferous:

biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe. 

Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War.


Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this”
https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast.
If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin.
And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit?


very absofuckingluteky horrifying

taraljc: lemonsharks: nikkoliferous: biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quiet...

Being Alone, Beautiful, and Omg: jumpingjacktrash: avatar-dacia: thisisarebeljyn: fearwax: scootsenshi: 24-sa3t: comradeonion: powerofthestruggle: Man eating rice, China, 1901-1904 this is an extremely important picture Ive never seen someone from 1904 having fun omg He has a nice face No but the history behind this picture is really interesting The reason that everyone always looked miserable in old photos wasn’t that they took too long to take. Once photography became widespread it took only seconds to take a picture. It was because getting your photo taken was treated the same as getting your portrait painted. A very serious occasion meant so thst your descendants would know that ypu existed and what you looked like. But one time some British dudes went to china to go on an anthropological expedition, and they met some rural Chinese farmers and decided to take their pictures. Now, these people weren’t exposed to the weird culture of the time around getting your photo taken, so this guy just flashed a big grin during the photo because he was told to strike a pose and that’s the pose he wanted to strike. I think painted portraits and old photos give us the idea that in general people were just really unhappy because those are the visuals we have. This is so refreshing. Hey, look; “Man Laughing Alone With Rice” is back on my dash. always reblog Happy Rice Guy. once upon a time, he really enjoyed his lunch, and that’s beautiful.
Being Alone, Beautiful, and Omg: jumpingjacktrash:
avatar-dacia:

thisisarebeljyn:

fearwax:

scootsenshi:

24-sa3t:

comradeonion:

powerofthestruggle:

Man eating rice, China, 1901-1904

this is an extremely important picture

Ive never seen someone from 1904 having fun omg

He has a nice face

No but the history behind this picture is really interesting
The reason that everyone always looked miserable in old photos wasn’t that they took too long to take. Once photography became widespread it took only seconds to take a picture.
It was because getting your photo taken was treated the same as getting your portrait painted. A very serious occasion meant so thst your descendants would know that ypu existed and what you looked like.
But one time some British dudes went to china to go on an anthropological expedition, and they met some rural Chinese farmers and decided to take their pictures. Now, these people weren’t exposed to the weird culture of the time around getting your photo taken, so this guy just flashed a big grin during the photo because he was told to strike a pose and that’s the pose he wanted to strike.


I think painted portraits and old photos give us the idea that in general people were just really unhappy because those are the visuals we have. This is so refreshing.

Hey, look; “Man Laughing Alone With Rice” is back on my dash.

always reblog Happy Rice Guy. once upon a time, he really enjoyed his lunch, and that’s beautiful.

jumpingjacktrash: avatar-dacia: thisisarebeljyn: fearwax: scootsenshi: 24-sa3t: comradeonion: powerofthestruggle: Man eating rice, Ch...