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You Go

You Go

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Blackness

Blackness

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wear
 wear

wear

if you want to
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if you want to

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fact

fact

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ifs

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comely

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America, Apparently, and Bad: normal-horoscopes: pooraurora: postmarxed: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanatorypower: i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me This is the america they don’t want you to see i love america This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry *group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say. Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:  Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered. Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced. The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”  Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House” The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone) It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.” We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open? #and wafflehouse is one of those spiritual places#2am friendships#its the same hazy feel#of cicadas and front porches with your friends Waffle House is physical and spiritual neutral territory. Starting shit in a Waffle House isn’t just bad form, it tips the entire natural balance of the universe against you.
America, Apparently, and Bad: normal-horoscopes:

pooraurora:

postmarxed:
inkandcayenne:

wilfulwayfarer:

rasec-wizzlbang:

dalaisa-katili:

local-emo-mom:

anarcho-individualist:

explanatorypower:
i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me

This is the america they don’t want you to see

i love america

This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry

*group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary


People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say.

Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture: 
Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered.
Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced.
The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.” 
Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House”
The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone)
It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”


We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open? 



#and wafflehouse is one of those spiritual places#2am friendships#its the same hazy feel#of cicadas and front porches with your friends



Waffle House is physical and spiritual neutral territory. Starting shit in a Waffle House isn’t just bad form, it tips the entire natural balance of the universe against you.

normal-horoscopes: pooraurora: postmarxed: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-ind...

Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That Can Actually Afford PART 3 PART3 0 Remote Controlled Tarantula $13.59 You could seriously scare the shit out of people with this one. Arachnophobia is one of the most common fears among people. l'o recommend using this on someone with headphones in. l've gathered from reviews that it makes a decent amount of noise. USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer $14.99 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet fucking awesome at the same time. It's better than a mini fridge because it makes you drink in moderation.. right? Giant Plush Microbes S9.99 -$19.99 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know some of you out there are single, but don't fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia! You don't need to go dumpster diving at a sorority house to make friends with these cute little guys. Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System $59.99 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that if you have the money, this would be a worthwhile investment. Those old consoles in our closets have seen better days. I think it would be nice to get a modern remake of all three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than buying these three consoles back in their day LifeStraw Personal Water Filter $19.99 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters water as you suck it in.I might buy one of these and put it in my glove compartment in my car. If you get stuck in the middle of nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink straight from a fucking river iTouchless Bag Resealer $16.98 This is one of those inventions that was just a good fucking idea. Now you never have to go looking for that little chip clip thing that doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf fresh 4,500 Live Ladybugs $17.99 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4 cents per bug. novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here
Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That
 Can
 Actually Afford
 PART 3
 PART3
 0
 Remote Controlled Tarantula
 $13.59
 You could seriously scare the shit out of
 people with this one. Arachnophobia is one
 of the most common fears among people. l'o
 recommend using this on someone with
 headphones in. l've gathered from reviews
 that it makes a decent amount of noise.

 USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer
 $14.99
 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet
 fucking awesome at the same time. It's
 better than a mini fridge because it makes
 you drink in moderation.. right?
 Giant Plush Microbes
 S9.99 -$19.99
 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know
 some of you out there are single, but don't
 fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia!
 You don't need to go dumpster diving at a
 sorority house to make friends with these
 cute little guys.

 Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System
 $59.99
 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is
 sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that
 if you have the
 money, this would be a
 worthwhile investment. Those old consoles
 in our closets have seen better days. I think it
 would be nice to get a modern remake of all
 three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than
 buying these three consoles back in their day
 LifeStraw Personal Water Filter
 $19.99
 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters
 water as you suck it in.I might buy one of
 these and put it in my glove compartment in
 my car. If you get stuck in the middle of
 nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink
 straight from a fucking river

 iTouchless Bag Resealer
 $16.98
 This is one of those inventions that was just a
 good fucking idea. Now you never have to go
 looking for that little chip clip thing that
 doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf
 fresh
 4,500 Live Ladybugs
 $17.99
 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody
 would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck
 not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4
 cents per bug.
novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That Can Actually Afford PART 3 PART3 0 Remote Controlled Tarantula $13.59 You could seriously scare the shit out of people with this one. Arachnophobia is one of the most common fears among people. l'o recommend using this on someone with headphones in. l've gathered from reviews that it makes a decent amount of noise. USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer $14.99 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet fucking awesome at the same time. It's better than a mini fridge because it makes you drink in moderation.. right? Giant Plush Microbes S9.99 -$19.99 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know some of you out there are single, but don't fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia! You don't need to go dumpster diving at a sorority house to make friends with these cute little guys. Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System $59.99 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that if you have the money, this would be a worthwhile investment. Those old consoles in our closets have seen better days. I think it would be nice to get a modern remake of all three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than buying these three consoles back in their day LifeStraw Personal Water Filter $19.99 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters water as you suck it in.I might buy one of these and put it in my glove compartment in my car. If you get stuck in the middle of nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink straight from a fucking river iTouchless Bag Resealer $16.98 This is one of those inventions that was just a good fucking idea. Now you never have to go looking for that little chip clip thing that doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf fresh 4,500 Live Ladybugs $17.99 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4 cents per bug. novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here
Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That
 Can
 Actually Afford
 PART 3
 PART3
 0
 Remote Controlled Tarantula
 $13.59
 You could seriously scare the shit out of
 people with this one. Arachnophobia is one
 of the most common fears among people. l'o
 recommend using this on someone with
 headphones in. l've gathered from reviews
 that it makes a decent amount of noise.

 USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer
 $14.99
 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet
 fucking awesome at the same time. It's
 better than a mini fridge because it makes
 you drink in moderation.. right?
 Giant Plush Microbes
 S9.99 -$19.99
 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know
 some of you out there are single, but don't
 fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia!
 You don't need to go dumpster diving at a
 sorority house to make friends with these
 cute little guys.

 Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System
 $59.99
 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is
 sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that
 if you have the
 money, this would be a
 worthwhile investment. Those old consoles
 in our closets have seen better days. I think it
 would be nice to get a modern remake of all
 three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than
 buying these three consoles back in their day
 LifeStraw Personal Water Filter
 $19.99
 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters
 water as you suck it in.I might buy one of
 these and put it in my glove compartment in
 my car. If you get stuck in the middle of
 nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink
 straight from a fucking river

 iTouchless Bag Resealer
 $16.98
 This is one of those inventions that was just a
 good fucking idea. Now you never have to go
 looking for that little chip clip thing that
 doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf
 fresh
 4,500 Live Ladybugs
 $17.99
 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody
 would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck
 not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4
 cents per bug.
novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That Can Actually Afford PART 3 PART3 0 Remote Controlled Tarantula $13.59 You could seriously scare the shit out of people with this one. Arachnophobia is one of the most common fears among people. l'o recommend using this on someone with headphones in. l've gathered from reviews that it makes a decent amount of noise. USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer $14.99 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet fucking awesome at the same time. It's better than a mini fridge because it makes you drink in moderation.. right? Giant Plush Microbes S9.99 -$19.99 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know some of you out there are single, but don't fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia! You don't need to go dumpster diving at a sorority house to make friends with these cute little guys. Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System $59.99 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that if you have the money, this would be a worthwhile investment. Those old consoles in our closets have seen better days. I think it would be nice to get a modern remake of all three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than buying these three consoles back in their day LifeStraw Personal Water Filter $19.99 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters water as you suck it in.I might buy one of these and put it in my glove compartment in my car. If you get stuck in the middle of nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink straight from a fucking river iTouchless Bag Resealer $16.98 This is one of those inventions that was just a good fucking idea. Now you never have to go looking for that little chip clip thing that doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf fresh 4,500 Live Ladybugs $17.99 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4 cents per bug. novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here
Cute, Definitely, and Fresh: Cool Shit That
 Can
 Actually Afford
 PART 3
 PART3
 0
 Remote Controlled Tarantula
 $13.59
 You could seriously scare the shit out of
 people with this one. Arachnophobia is one
 of the most common fears among people. l'o
 recommend using this on someone with
 headphones in. l've gathered from reviews
 that it makes a decent amount of noise.

 USB Thermoelectric Cooler & Warmer
 $14.99
 It's a one can refrigerator. Simple, yet
 fucking awesome at the same time. It's
 better than a mini fridge because it makes
 you drink in moderation.. right?
 Giant Plush Microbes
 S9.99 -$19.99
 Valentine's Day is coming up and I know
 some of you out there are single, but don't
 fret. Now you can give yourself chlamydia!
 You don't need to go dumpster diving at a
 sorority house to make friends with these
 cute little guys.

 Retron 3 SNES/NES/Genesis Game System
 $59.99
 Yeah, I know."Holy shit peanutbitter this is
 sixty fucking dollars!" I get it, but I think that
 if you have the
 money, this would be a
 worthwhile investment. Those old consoles
 in our closets have seen better days. I think it
 would be nice to get a modern remake of all
 three in one. It's a hell of a lot cheaper than
 buying these three consoles back in their day
 LifeStraw Personal Water Filter
 $19.99
 This could definitely be a life saver. It filters
 water as you suck it in.I might buy one of
 these and put it in my glove compartment in
 my car. If you get stuck in the middle of
 nowhere, it'd be nice to be able to drink
 straight from a fucking river

 iTouchless Bag Resealer
 $16.98
 This is one of those inventions that was just a
 good fucking idea. Now you never have to go
 looking for that little chip clip thing that
 doesn't really work too well at keeping stuf
 fresh
 4,500 Live Ladybugs
 $17.99
 Honestly, I'm not really sure why anybody
 would want 4,500 ladybugs, but why the fuck
 not? They're only 18 dollars. That's about 0.4
 cents per bug.
novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

novelty-gift-ideas:You can buy these stuffs here

Bodies , Chipotle, and Girl Scouts: PS Products A 10 PS Products Knuckle Blaster is a 950,000V Stun Gun with Batteries & Magnetic Leather Holster ea List Price: $69.99 Price: $62.54 Victory! By tdoog- May 5, 2013 I purchased this after I was confronted by punks demanding that I hand over my money. I'm a relatively fit guy, but I was no match for them. That is when I realized that I need to protect myself. The day after I bought this product I went to the very same Wal-Mart parking lot when I was first mugged. I approached the group of hooligans standing outside the entrance, concealing my secret weapon. some I cooly asked "Remember me?" One of them looked up and said, "Have you com back to buy some Samoas or Thin Mints? My Gi Scout Troop needs to raise more money!" I replied with "you're not taking my money this time". "But sir, they're delicious!", she said. I whipped out my Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun hand and shouted "WRONG MOVE B****" The five giri scouts ran away screaming. As I pounded my chest in victory, I accidentally activated the stun gun and applied 950,000 Volts to my right nipple. I woke up 4 hours later to the sound of heavy footsteps. Those Girl Scouts had brought their fathers. But I was ready. I lunged at the largest one with a cry of "RAGGLE FRAGGLE!!!" and hit him in the stomach. He hit the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym. As the others began to circle around me,I changed techniques. Holding both of my hands in tight fists, I rased my arms to my sides and initiated the helicopter spin. They all backed off, fearing my impressive RPM. After a while I started getting dizzy, and one of the fathers decided to try to tackle me. As he ran to me stood there, dizzy and queasy; time was going real slow. Then I remembered. I had eaten lunch at Chipotle and the burrito was fighting its way back up my stomach. I tuned toward my enemy and launched a stream of projectile vomit at him, knocking him to the ground. Then I started singing "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the.... FLOOO00RRR!!!" I grabbed my Knuckle Blasher Stun Gun and shoved it into my mouth, running headfirst at my foes, electrocuting them with my teeth. Eventually they were all unconscious, and I walked home victorious. 2,144 of 2,383 people found this review helpful worth the read
Bodies , Chipotle, and Girl Scouts: PS Products
 A 10
 PS Products Knuckle Blaster is a 950,000V Stun Gun
 with Batteries & Magnetic Leather Holster
 ea
 List Price: $69.99
 Price: $62.54
 Victory!
 By tdoog- May 5, 2013
 I purchased this after I was confronted by
 punks demanding that I hand over my money. I'm
 a relatively fit guy, but I was no match for them.
 That is when I realized that I need to protect
 myself. The day after I bought this product I went
 to the very same Wal-Mart parking lot when I was
 first mugged. I approached the group of
 hooligans standing outside the entrance,
 concealing my secret weapon.
 some
 I cooly asked "Remember me?"
 One of them looked up and said, "Have you com
 back to buy some Samoas or Thin Mints? My Gi
 Scout Troop needs to raise more money!"
 I replied with "you're not taking my money this
 time". "But sir, they're delicious!", she said.
 I whipped out my Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun hand
 and shouted "WRONG MOVE B****" The five giri
 scouts ran away screaming.
 As I pounded my chest in victory, I accidentally
 activated the stun gun and applied 950,000 Volts
 to my right nipple. I woke up 4 hours later to the
 sound of heavy footsteps. Those Girl Scouts had
 brought their fathers. But I was ready. I lunged at
 the largest one with a cry of "RAGGLE
 FRAGGLE!!!" and hit him in the stomach. He hit
 the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym.
 As the others began to circle around me,I
 changed techniques. Holding both of my hands
 in tight fists, I rased my arms to my sides and
 initiated the helicopter spin. They all backed off,
 fearing my impressive RPM. After a while I
 started getting dizzy, and one of the fathers
 decided to try to tackle me. As he ran to me stood
 there, dizzy and queasy; time was going real
 slow. Then I remembered. I had eaten lunch at
 Chipotle and the burrito was fighting its way back
 up my stomach.
 I tuned toward my enemy and launched a stream
 of projectile vomit at him, knocking him to the
 ground. Then I started singing "Let the bodies hit
 the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies
 hit the.... FLOOO00RRR!!!"
 I grabbed my Knuckle Blasher Stun Gun and
 shoved it into my mouth, running headfirst at my
 foes, electrocuting them with my teeth.
 Eventually they were all unconscious, and I
 walked home victorious.
 2,144 of 2,383 people found this review helpful
worth the read

worth the read