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🔥 | Latest

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one night to the smell of smoke, you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway scream unable to accept your Screi doom. That's when Yesterday 10:31 pm Bill and hitler You lie down and Surely that's the only reasonable answer your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for vou dear life as he takes you e and places you on the grass "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u Yesterday 10:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice but I admire your conviction. He bt's the last you ever see back inside, but runs alas, of him You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in mparison to the heartbreak you Today 12:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage. Today 1:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Type a message Send Type a message Send Iidppess IS. Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me. having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young Today 3:17 am couple come in, they remind you Can I change my answer डि ग कार सा much of your parents except ा they've already got a क पाCgical Be my guest son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family a f your last chance at livinga shildhood, When the time has as Me so I never have to think about that again come for them to formally tell the which child orphanage matron they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage, get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness is. That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Today 10:22 am Okay pls don't unmatch, this is important stuff now. But do you think it's sometimes better to ask forgiveness rather than permission? I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Yes Type a message Send Type a message.. Send Why he hates Stuart Little
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a
 room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi
 B, a massive spider and Stuart
 Little. Who you shooting?
 Your days are filled with fun and
 kindness as your loving parents
 try to nurture you in the most
 pleasant environment possible.
 One day you awaken one night to
 the smell of smoke, you open your
 eyes and begin to choke, you try
 to find your parents but you can't
 get past the toddler-proof gate in
 the doorway
 scream unable to accept your
 Screi doom. That's when
 Yesterday 10:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 You lie down and
 Surely that's the only reasonable
 answer
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for vou
 dear life as he takes you e
 and places you on the grass
 "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u
 Yesterday 10:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer is
 to shoot Stuart twice but I admire
 your conviction.
 He bt's the last you ever see
 back inside, but
 runs
 alas,
 of him
 You escape the ordeal with minor
 scarring, but it's nothing in
 mparison to the heartbreak you
 Today 12:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for that
 one pls sir
 felt that night. You have no
 grandparents, no aunties or
 uncles, no guardians whatsoever,
 and as a result, are forced to live
 in an orphanage.
 Today 1:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother and
 father who love you very much.
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message
 Send
 Iidppess IS.
 Day, weeks, months, years go by,
 and as you watch all the other
 orphans leave with their new
 foster parents, you're hopes of
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me.
 having a happy life diminish more
 and more. One day a young
 Today 3:17 am
 couple come in, they remind you
 Can I change my answer
 डि ग कार सा
 much of your parents except
 ा
 they've already got a
 क पाCgical
 Be my guest
 son. But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make
 an impression on
 this family a f your last
 chance at livinga
 shildhood, When the time has
 as
 Me so I never have to think about
 that again
 come for them to formally tell the
 which child
 orphanage matron
 they are going to adopt, you
 eagerly await your name to be
 announced. That's when they
 adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD
 OF YOU. This destroys your
 morale, you give up, you run away
 from the orphanage, get raised by
 the streets as a petty pickpocket,
 you'll never remember what true
 happiness is.
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Today 10:22 am
 Okay pls don't unmatch, this is
 important stuff now. But do you
 think it's sometimes better to ask
 forgiveness rather than
 permission?
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Yes
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message..
 Send
Why he hates Stuart Little

Why he hates Stuart Little

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32 You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Wednesday 11:31 pm Bill and hitler Surely that's the only reasonable answer Wednesday 11:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice butI admire your conviction. Today 1:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir Today 2:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one to the smell of smoke, night you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway. You lie down and scream, unable to accept your impending doom. That's when your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for your dear life as he takes you outside and places you on the grass. "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!" He bravely runs back inside, but alas, that's the last you ever see of him. You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in comparison to the heartbreak you felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young couple come in, they remind you much of your parents except they've already got a biological son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family as this may be your last chance at living a fulfilled childhood. When the time has come for them to formally tell the orphanage matron which child they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness Is I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Today 4:17 am Can I change my answer Be my guest Me so I never have to think about that again That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Sent Type a message GIF Why I hate Stuart Little.
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32
 You got two bullets. You're in
 a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby,
 Cardi B, a massive spider and
 Stuart Little. Who you shooting?
 Wednesday 11:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 Surely that's the only
 reasonable answer
 Wednesday 11:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer
 is to shoot Stuart twice butI
 admire your conviction.
 Today 1:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for
 that one pls sir
 Today 2:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother
 and father who love you very
 much. Your days are filled with
 fun and kindness as your loving
 parents try to nurture you in
 the most pleasant environment
 possible.
 One day you awaken one
 to the smell of smoke,
 night
 you open your eyes and begin
 to choke, you try to find your
 parents but you can't get past
 the toddler-proof gate in the
 doorway. You lie down and
 scream, unable to accept your
 impending doom. That's when
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for your
 dear life as he takes you outside
 and places you on the grass.
 "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!"
 He bravely runs back inside, but
 alas, that's the last you ever see
 of him.
 You escape the ordeal with
 minor scarring, but it's nothing
 in comparison to the heartbreak
 you felt that night. You have
 no grandparents, no aunties
 or uncles, no guardians
 whatsoever, and as a result, are
 forced to live in an orphanage
 Day, weeks, months, years go
 by, and as you watch all the
 other orphans leave with their
 new foster parents, you're
 hopes of having a happy life
 diminish more and more. One
 day a young couple come
 in, they remind you much of
 your parents except they've
 already got a biological son.
 But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make an impression on
 this family as this may be your
 last chance at living a fulfilled
 childhood. When the time has
 come for them to formally tell
 the orphanage matron which
 child they are going to adopt,
 you eagerly await your name
 to be announced. That's when
 they adopt A FUCKING RAT
 INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys
 your morale, you give up, you
 run away from the orphanage
 get raised by the streets as a
 petty pickpocket, you'll never
 remember what true happiness
 Is
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Today 4:17 am
 Can I change my answer
 Be my guest
 Me so I never have to think
 about that again
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
Why I hate Stuart Little.

Why I hate Stuart Little.

Jesus, Satan, and Jesus Christ: Satan rushes to the aid of Jesus Christ, a man being tortured by the townsfolk (circa 33 AD)
Jesus, Satan, and Jesus Christ: Satan rushes to the aid of Jesus Christ, a man being tortured by the townsfolk (circa 33 AD)

Satan rushes to the aid of Jesus Christ, a man being tortured by the townsfolk (circa 33 AD)

Alive, Bitch, and Chill: YOU MATCHED WITH ON 24/10/18 Important question: when you do finger guns, do you stick up both pointer and middle finger or just pointer? Wed, 24 Oct, 8:20 am Both? Haha Wed, 24 Oct, 9:25 pm What about sounds? What do you do when you shoot? Pew pew? Haha Say we had a duel and I whipped out both hands, would that be too far? Hmm...you better be prepared for when i wip out two hands pew pew sounds* "I dodgeroll to the nearest table flipping it in one swift motion for cover * flips table in slow motion puts finger guns to head* Are you feelin lucky...punk? sweat beads down my forehead* Ok, ok, you got me "you feel a finger poke the back of your head* You hear a somewhat familiar Boston accent say "Do you?" You turn around and to your surprise you see Danny Devito standing behind you. He's on my side gulp *slowly lowers fingers guns Chill..violence is NOT the answer, okay?. jumps up and shoots Danny in the shoulder* *you feel a finger gun on your back, you slowly turn to see Clint Eastwood behind you *the cold finger on my back sends a shiver down my spine* "He starts whistling This is the End by The Doors, great song. "This is how I wish to go out"I say calmly, accepting my fate Are you are fucking writer? And then boom I open my eyes to see that I am still alive and well. Not Clint However I look at you in shock as you lower your finger gun. Clint collapses to the ground "You're welcome" you say I wish Imao " wait, why did i shoot him?.."i ask, very confused... "You fall to the ground, you're about to faint I rush over to you to catch you Succeeding You go cold then all of a sudden a shadow rushes over you Danny Devito's possession got it's revenge* We both wave the white flag and go grab a couple of drinks laughing about what just took place " cheers", i say, holding my basic white bitch drink over to yours (vodka soda) The first conversation between myself and my (now) girlfriend
Alive, Bitch, and Chill: YOU MATCHED WITH
 ON 24/10/18
 Important question: when you do
 finger guns, do you stick up both
 pointer and middle finger or just
 pointer?
 Wed, 24 Oct, 8:20 am
 Both? Haha
 Wed, 24 Oct, 9:25 pm
 What about sounds? What do
 you do when you shoot?
 Pew pew? Haha
 Say we had a duel and I whipped
 out both hands, would that be
 too far?
 Hmm...you better be prepared
 for when i wip out two hands
 pew pew sounds*
 "I dodgeroll to the nearest table
 flipping it in one swift motion for
 cover
 * flips table in slow motion
 puts finger guns to head*
 Are you feelin lucky...punk?
 sweat beads down my
 forehead*
 Ok, ok, you got me
 "you feel a finger poke the back
 of your head*
 You hear a somewhat familiar
 Boston accent say "Do you?"
 You turn around and to your
 surprise you see Danny Devito
 standing behind you. He's on my
 side
 gulp
 *slowly lowers fingers guns
 Chill..violence is NOT the answer,
 okay?.
 jumps up and shoots Danny in
 the shoulder*
 *you feel a finger gun on your
 back, you slowly turn to see Clint
 Eastwood behind you
 *the cold finger on my back
 sends a shiver down my spine*
 "He starts whistling This is the
 End by The Doors, great song.
 "This is how I wish to go out"I
 say calmly, accepting my fate
 Are you are fucking writer?
 And then boom
 I open my eyes to see that I am
 still alive and well. Not Clint
 However
 I look at you in shock as you
 lower your finger gun. Clint
 collapses to the ground
 "You're welcome" you say
 I wish Imao
 " wait, why did i shoot him?.."i
 ask, very confused...
 "You fall to the ground, you're
 about to faint
 I rush over to you to catch you
 Succeeding
 You go cold then all of a sudden
 a shadow rushes over you
 Danny Devito's possession got
 it's revenge*
 We both wave the white flag and
 go grab a couple of drinks
 laughing about what just took
 place
 " cheers", i say, holding my
 basic white bitch drink over to
 yours
 (vodka soda)
The first conversation between myself and my (now) girlfriend

The first conversation between myself and my (now) girlfriend

Bad, Dank, and Family: Validating your wife's feelings. You don't have to understand the exact feelings in play to show solidarity. Below are some helpful phrases that may help you better express YOUR feelings about her feelings. She just wants to know that you care. She needs space to process what she's feeling before she is ready to move on to problem solving and logic. Give her this space and show your support by employing a response from below 1. An apology (one or more of these may apply, but likely only one will be necessary) "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings'" "That sounds like it sucks. I'm sorry" "I'm sorry I wasn't listening" "l'm sorry I made you feel that way" 2. A follow up (to show how much you care utilize one or more of the following that apply) "I didn't know that [action or statement] would make you feel [bad thing], you are [good thing] to me "Can you think of anything that would make you feel better?" "I hate that I made you feel this way." "I hope you know I would never do that on purpose" "I wish I knew how to make you feel better" "I'm not sure what I can do to make you feel better, but l'd like to try "I hate that my family or friend made you feel that way" "I hear what you are saying. It's hard for me to feel like I can't fix it" "I hope you know you are [good thing]. I never want you to feel [bad thing]" "This is hard for me too" "I don't quite understand what's going on. Can you explain it again or tell me how I can help?" "You don't need to yell. I'm listening, and I hope you'll listen to me next" "I really want to fix this, but you're going to have to help me understand what's wrong" "I didn't know you were this upset" "I can see that you're upset, but I don't understand why" "l don't know what to say" "Let's try to avoid another misunderstanding like this" "l see why you're feeling that way Would you like a glass of wine?" 3. She might also have some things to apologize for. Once you have apologized kindly using two or three follow up statements you can try to start problem solving. Proceed with caution. It's important that you don't rush from apologizing to criticizing Editor's note: this guide is intended to help turn your feelings into words that help a situation Please to do not simply read a response from this guide. You should still mean what you are saying My friend made her husband an apology cheat sheet (posted with permission). by jinx2369 MORE MEMES
Bad, Dank, and Family: Validating your wife's feelings. You don't have to understand the exact feelings in play to show
 solidarity. Below are some helpful phrases that may help you better express YOUR feelings
 about her feelings. She just wants to know that you care. She needs space to process what
 she's feeling before she is ready to move on to problem solving and logic. Give her this space
 and show your support by employing a response from below
 1. An apology (one or more of these may apply, but likely only one will be necessary)
 "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings'"
 "That sounds like it sucks. I'm sorry"
 "I'm sorry I wasn't listening"
 "l'm sorry I made you feel that way"
 2. A follow up (to show how much you care utilize one or more of the following that apply)
 "I didn't know that [action or statement] would make you feel [bad thing], you are [good thing] to
 me
 "Can you think of anything that would make you feel better?"
 "I hate that I made you feel this way."
 "I hope you know I would never do that on purpose"
 "I wish I knew how to make you feel better"
 "I'm not sure what I can do to make you feel better, but l'd like to try
 "I hate that my family or friend made you feel that way"
 "I hear what you are saying. It's hard for me to feel like I can't fix it"
 "I hope you know you are [good thing]. I never want you to feel [bad thing]"
 "This is hard for me too"
 "I don't quite understand what's going on. Can you explain it again or tell me how I can help?"
 "You don't need to yell. I'm listening, and I hope you'll listen to me next"
 "I really want to fix this, but you're going to have to help me understand what's wrong"
 "I didn't know you were this upset"
 "I can see that you're upset, but I don't understand why"
 "l don't know what to say"
 "Let's try to avoid another misunderstanding like this"
 "l see why you're feeling that way
 Would you like a glass of wine?"
 3. She might also have some things to apologize for. Once you have apologized kindly using
 two or three follow up statements you can try to start problem solving. Proceed with caution. It's
 important that you don't rush from apologizing to criticizing
 Editor's note: this guide is intended to help turn your feelings into words that help a situation
 Please to do not simply read a response from this guide. You should still mean what you are
 saying
My friend made her husband an apology cheat sheet (posted with permission). by jinx2369
MORE MEMES

My friend made her husband an apology cheat sheet (posted with permission). by jinx2369 MORE MEMES

America, Children, and Crazy: Adam Serwer @AdamSerwer Flowv The President just issued a thinly veiled physical threat to a sitting mem ber of Congress Donald J. Trump GrealDonaldTrump Follow Congresswoman Maxine Waters, an extraordinarily low IQ person, has become, together with Nancy Pelosi, the Face of the Democrat Party. She has just called for harm to supporters, of which there are many, of the Make America Great Again movement. Be careful what you wish for Max! 12:11 PM-25 Jun 2018 1,771 Retweets 4,719 Likes 1.1K ta 1.8 7 0:15 AM 25 Jun 2018 Adam Serwer Follow Two months ago, a Trump supporter pled guilty for threatening to kill Waters over her criticism of the president. San Pedro Man Pleads Guilty to Threatening to Kill Rep. Maxine Wat. A 45-year-old San Pedro man is expected to plead guilty Monday to threatening to kill Los Angeles Democratic Rep. Maxine Waters over her o... nbclosangeles.com 0:19 AM 25 Jun 2018 Adam Serwer @AdamSerwer Follow Also, it is false that Waters called for "harm" to "supporters." Here's her statement, and the accompanying video. She doesn't mention Trump supporters, she's referring to cabinet members, and she's talking about denying them service, not assaulting them. youtube.com/watch?v--1Fu3g... WATERS: Let's make sure we show up wherever we have to show up, and if you see anybody from that cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station, you get out and you create a crowd, and you push back on them, and you tell them they're not welcome anymore, anywhere, we've got to get the children connected to their parents, their children are suffering 10:39 AM- 25 Jun 2018 Bree Newsome @BreeNewsome Follow Let's see how quickly the pundit class rushes to defend Maxine Waters as a "wife and mother" like they do for Sarah Sanders because y'all love to insist Black women aren't treated any differently from other women Adam Serwer @AdamSerwer The President just issued a thinly veiled physical threat to a sitting member of Congress Show this thread 10:22 AM 25 Jun 2018 thyestean-feast: sauvamente: questionall: niggazinmoscow: this ALL OF THIS!!! So much truth! If Maxine Waters ends up dead follow this back because it’s a fucking trail that man is crazy The Left white silence on this is not astounding. They were all for reclaiming my time, but as soon as she says some real shit it’s “you’re too aggressive. You’re so angry”
America, Children, and Crazy: Adam Serwer
 @AdamSerwer
 Flowv
 The President just issued a thinly veiled
 physical threat to a sitting mem ber of
 Congress
 Donald J. Trump
 GrealDonaldTrump
 Follow
 Congresswoman Maxine Waters, an
 extraordinarily low IQ person, has become,
 together with Nancy Pelosi, the Face of the
 Democrat Party. She has just called for harm
 to supporters, of which there are many, of
 the Make America Great Again movement.
 Be careful what you wish for Max!
 12:11 PM-25 Jun 2018
 1,771 Retweets 4,719 Likes
 1.1K ta 1.8 7
 0:15 AM 25 Jun 2018

 Adam Serwer
 Follow
 Two months ago, a Trump supporter
 pled guilty for threatening to kill Waters
 over her criticism of the president.
 San Pedro Man Pleads Guilty to Threatening to Kill Rep. Maxine Wat.
 A 45-year-old San Pedro man is expected to plead guilty Monday to
 threatening to kill Los Angeles Democratic Rep. Maxine Waters over her o...
 nbclosangeles.com
 0:19 AM 25 Jun 2018

 Adam Serwer
 @AdamSerwer
 Follow
 Also, it is false that Waters called for
 "harm" to "supporters." Here's her
 statement, and the accompanying video.
 She doesn't mention Trump supporters,
 she's referring to cabinet members, and
 she's talking about denying them
 service, not assaulting them.
 youtube.com/watch?v--1Fu3g...
 WATERS: Let's make sure we show up wherever we have to show up, and if you see
 anybody from that cabinet in a restaurant, in a department store, at a gasoline station, you get
 out and you create a crowd, and you push back on them, and you tell them they're not
 welcome anymore, anywhere, we've got to get the children connected to their parents, their
 children are suffering
 10:39 AM- 25 Jun 2018

 Bree Newsome
 @BreeNewsome
 Follow
 Let's see how quickly the pundit class rushes
 to defend Maxine Waters as a "wife and
 mother" like they do for Sarah Sanders
 because y'all love to insist Black women
 aren't treated any differently from other
 women
 Adam Serwer @AdamSerwer
 The President just issued a thinly veiled physical threat to a
 sitting member of Congress
 Show this thread
 10:22 AM 25 Jun 2018
thyestean-feast:

sauvamente:

questionall:

niggazinmoscow:
this
ALL OF THIS!!! So much truth!

If Maxine Waters ends up dead follow this back because it’s a fucking trail that man is crazy


The Left white silence on this is not astounding. They were all for reclaiming my time, but as soon as she says some real shit it’s “you’re too aggressive. You’re so angry”

thyestean-feast: sauvamente: questionall: niggazinmoscow: this ALL OF THIS!!! So much truth! If Maxine Waters ends up dead follow this b...

Assassination, John F. Kennedy, and Husband: FLOTUS Jackie Kennedy rushes to the aid of her husband, President John F. Kennedy, moments after his assassination. (November 22, 1963 - colourized)
Assassination, John F. Kennedy, and Husband: FLOTUS Jackie Kennedy rushes to the aid of her husband, President John F. Kennedy, moments after his assassination. (November 22, 1963 - colourized)

FLOTUS Jackie Kennedy rushes to the aid of her husband, President John F. Kennedy, moments after his assassination. (November 22, 1963 - col...