Animators
Animators

Animators

Alwaysed
Alwaysed

Alwaysed

Johnson
Johnson

Johnson

Vincent
Vincent

Vincent

On It
On It

On It

Gardening
Gardening

Gardening

Garden
Garden

Garden

Meowe
Meowe

Meowe

Meme Smile
Meme Smile

Meme Smile

Memeing
Memeing

Memeing

🔥 | Latest

Community, Confused, and Jay: The State of Washington OF STATE THE стоN 1889 THE Proclamation WHEREAS, asexuality is an often unknown and misunderstood sexual orientation; and WHEREAS, people who are asexual but have not heard of asexuality may often feel confused, discouraged, and lonely; and WHEREAS, discovering the asexual community and asexuality can be an affirming, positive, life-changing experience; and WHEREAS, the goal of Asexual Awareness Week is to promote education and understanding about asexuality; and WHEREAS, there are estimated to be at least 70,000 openly identified asexual people in the State of Washington; and WHEREAS, the inclusive and diverse State of Washington is proud to be at the forefront of LGBTQIA+ recognition and acceptance; NOW, THEREFORE, I, Jay Inslee, Governor of the state of Washington, do hereby proclaim October 20-26, 2019, as Asexual Awareness Week in Washington, and I encourage all people in our state to join me in this special observance Signed this 15th day of October, 2019 Governor Jay Inslee YOVOYOVYOYOYO OCADADAOAOOADADADAOOAOAOAOAGAOAOACAOAO OOO0AOVADADADACOADOAOAODAOAOAOAOODAOOOADAD JADADACAOAVACAUACAOVACAOAOADAGACACADADACAOAOOACADACCADACAUAO YOYOYOYOYOY OYOYOYOYOYOOYOYOOYOWOYO redbeardace: Asexual Awareness Week has been formally recognized by the Governor of the State of Washington!This is BIG.  As far as I have seen, this is the first time Ace Week has ever been recognized anywhere.  This is like an 8.7 on the Awesome Scale big.I want to thank everyone in the Seattle Aces & Aros for helping to bring this together.  And I want to thank Gov. Inslee for making this happen!  From the Palouse to the Pacific, from the Columbia to Canada, the Evergreen State rocks!Full text:The State of Washington Proclamation WHEREAS asexuality is an often unknown and misunderstood sexual orientation; and WHEREAS people who are asexual but have not heard of asexuality may often feel confused, discouraged, and lonely; and WHEREAS discovering asexuality can be an affirming, positive, life-changing experience; and WHEREAS the goal of Asexual Awareness Week is to promote education and understanding about asexuality; and WHEREAS there are estimated to be at least 70,000 openly identified asexual people in the State of Washington; and WHEREAS the inclusive and diverse State of Washington is proud to be at the forefront of LGBTQIA+ recognition and acceptance; NOW, THEREFORE, I, Jay Inslee, Governor of the state of Washington, do hereby proclaim October 20-26, 2019, as Asexual Awareness Week in Washington, and I encourage all people in our state to join me in this special observance. Signed this 15th day of October, 2019 [signed] Governor Jay InsleeMore details:  http://www.seattleacesandaros.org/2019/10/20/asexual-awareness-week-in-washington/
Community, Confused, and Jay: The State of Washington
 OF
 STATE
 THE
 стоN
 1889
 THE
 Proclamation
 WHEREAS, asexuality is an often unknown and misunderstood sexual orientation; and
 WHEREAS, people who are asexual but have not heard of asexuality may often feel
 confused, discouraged, and lonely; and
 WHEREAS, discovering the asexual community and asexuality can be an affirming,
 positive, life-changing experience; and
 WHEREAS, the goal of Asexual Awareness Week is to promote education and
 understanding about asexuality; and
 WHEREAS, there are estimated to be at least 70,000 openly identified asexual people in
 the State of Washington; and
 WHEREAS, the inclusive and diverse State of Washington is proud to be at the forefront
 of LGBTQIA+ recognition and acceptance;
 NOW, THEREFORE, I, Jay Inslee, Governor of the state of Washington, do hereby
 proclaim October 20-26, 2019, as
 Asexual Awareness Week
 in Washington, and I encourage all people in our state to join me in this special observance
 Signed this 15th day of October, 2019
 Governor Jay Inslee
 YOVOYOVYOYOYO
 OCADADAOAOOADADADAOOAOAOAOAGAOAOACAOAO
 OOO0AOVADADADACOADOAOAODAOAOAOAOODAOOOADAD
 JADADACAOAVACAUACAOVACAOAOADAGACACADADACAOAOOACADACCADACAUAO
 YOYOYOYOYOY
 OYOYOYOYOYOOYOYOOYOWOYO
redbeardace:

Asexual Awareness Week has been formally recognized by the Governor of the State of Washington!This is BIG.  As far as I have seen, this is the first time Ace Week has ever been recognized anywhere.  This is like an 8.7 on the Awesome Scale big.I want to thank everyone in the Seattle Aces & Aros for helping to bring this together.  And I want to thank Gov. Inslee for making this happen!  From the Palouse to the Pacific, from the Columbia to Canada, the Evergreen State rocks!Full text:The State of Washington  Proclamation WHEREAS asexuality is an often unknown and misunderstood sexual orientation; and WHEREAS people who are asexual but have not heard of asexuality may often feel confused, discouraged, and lonely; and WHEREAS discovering asexuality can be an affirming, positive, life-changing experience; and WHEREAS the goal of Asexual Awareness Week is to promote education and understanding about asexuality; and WHEREAS there are estimated to be at least 70,000 openly identified asexual people in the State of Washington; and WHEREAS the inclusive and diverse State of Washington is proud to be at the forefront of LGBTQIA+ recognition and acceptance; NOW, THEREFORE, I, Jay Inslee, Governor of the state of Washington, do hereby proclaim October 20-26, 2019, as Asexual Awareness Week in Washington, and I encourage all people in our state to join me in this special observance. Signed this 15th day of October, 2019 [signed] Governor Jay InsleeMore details:  http://www.seattleacesandaros.org/2019/10/20/asexual-awareness-week-in-washington/

redbeardace: Asexual Awareness Week has been formally recognized by the Governor of the State of Washington!This is BIG.  As far as I have ...

Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: The Economist -Follow Economist TheEconomist Why aren't millennials buying diamonds? econ.st/294G6yf leoismybookcrush: highklaushargreeves: my-analogical-romance: magicallygrimmwiccan: jackdrawsgames: luidilovins: phruxx: stynalane: dxisybuchanan: everythingcanadian: ariaste: wildhaunt: everkings: kid-communism: combatbooty: 1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us 3) mostly mined with slave labor 4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years 5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated.  Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN.  Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring.  THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD.  engagement rings: HACKED Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably. thanks edith Tiger’s eye: $47 bucks on etsy. Propose to your elderich horror with a ring she deserves. Rose quarts rose ring? 43 bucks. Symbol of love. Looks like a ring pop. Win-win. Druzy quartz 40 bucks. Cant pick a color? Go with all of them. Neat texture. Snowflake obsidian? 20 bucks. Made from the fires of the Earth’s molten core. Pretty dope conversation starter. Jade 15-30 bucks. Literally has a history of inner peace and spiritual awakening. Good gentle reminder not to kill your spouse. SO PRETTY @theotheralya Could give me a rock u found on the floor and thought I’d like and I would genuinely be ecstatic The ring I got Cas. Oak and a teeny tiny fern leaf. My dad proposed to my mom with a Ring Pop on April Fool’s Day
Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: The Economist
 -Follow
 Economist
 TheEconomist
 Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?
 econ.st/294G6yf
leoismybookcrush:
highklaushargreeves:

my-analogical-romance:


magicallygrimmwiccan:

jackdrawsgames:

luidilovins:

phruxx:

stynalane:

dxisybuchanan:

everythingcanadian:

ariaste:

wildhaunt:

everkings:

kid-communism:

combatbooty:

1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

3) mostly mined with slave labor

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN. 
Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring. 

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

engagement rings: HACKED


Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably. 

thanks edith


Tiger’s eye: $47 bucks on etsy. Propose to your elderich horror with a ring she deserves. 
Rose quarts rose ring? 43 bucks. Symbol of love. Looks like a ring pop. Win-win. 
Druzy quartz 40 bucks. Cant pick a color? Go with all of them. Neat texture. 
Snowflake obsidian? 20 bucks. Made from the fires of the Earth’s molten core. Pretty dope conversation starter. 
Jade 15-30 bucks. Literally has a history of inner peace and spiritual awakening. Good gentle reminder not to kill your spouse. 

SO PRETTY

@theotheralya


Could give me a rock u found on the floor and thought I’d like and I would genuinely be ecstatic 


The ring I got Cas. Oak and a teeny tiny fern leaf. 

My dad proposed to my mom with a Ring Pop on April Fool’s Day

leoismybookcrush: highklaushargreeves: my-analogical-romance: magicallygrimmwiccan: jackdrawsgames: luidilovins: phruxx: stynalane: ...

Animals, Bakura, and Birthday: phuiscribbles: When the heart of the card responds to your trust just right #does this make kaiba kuzco #is kaiba gonna build kaibaland on top of Yugi’s gameshop #can we turn kaiba into a llama  #does kaiba dress in drag??  i hate you all  “You threw off my groove!”  “I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the CEO’s groove.”  #omg would Marik’s shoulder devil be Yami Marik?  “Don’t listen to that guy. He’s trying to lead you down the path of righteousness.”  “I’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks!” #Rebecca should be the wife #Ok Ok but Kuriboh would totally be the little squirrel >w>  “Kurikurikuri??” “No nonONONONONONO-” “KURIK URIRIRHR!?” #The Big 5 turning into animals  “Get them!”  “Hey, I’ve been turned into a penguin. Can I go home?”  “You’re excused.”  “For the last time, we did not order a Magic Cylinder!”  “You know pal, you could have told me that before I set it up.”  #would baby kaiba have blue eyes white dragon plushies?  i hate all 126,000 of you  “Hey Yugi, you just missed your relatives.”  “Yeah, we just sent them up to your house.” #Kaiba lines up all the yugioh spinoff protags in a line looking for a rival  “Hate your hair. Your hair. And your hair. Annnnd…”  “Lemme guess, you have a great personality.” #And instead of a sewer crocodile it’s some sewer dragon thing..lol… #The dagger on Bakura’s leg is the Millennium Rod “Then I bet you weren’t expecting THIS.”  [SCREAMS OF HORROR]  “AHA!” “Oh, okay.” #So, when Kuzco gets turned into other animals, does Kaiba get turned into other monster cards, like UFO turtle and Fortress Whale since the big 5 got turned into cards? “Don’t you say a word…”  #Yami Bakura being sung Happy Birthday? “ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR~” “Happy, happy birthday!”“From all of us to you!”“We wish it was our birthday!”“So we could party too!” “Happy, happy birthday!”“May all your dreams come true~” “Uh-oh.”   “Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a waterfall.”  “Yep.”   “Dark hole at the bottom?”  “Most likely.”  “Bring it on.” [*If you like these crossover redraws, consider supporting me on Patreon or buying me a coffee?]
Animals, Bakura, and Birthday: phuiscribbles:
When the heart of the card responds to your trust just right

#does this make kaiba kuzco #is kaiba gonna build kaibaland on top of Yugi’s gameshop


#can we turn kaiba into a llama 


#does kaiba dress in drag?? 


i hate you all 


“You threw off my groove!” 


“I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the CEO’s groove.” 


#omg would Marik’s shoulder devil be Yami Marik? 


“Don’t listen to that guy. He’s trying to lead you down the path of righteousness.” 
“I’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks!”
#Rebecca should be the wife 
#Ok Ok but Kuriboh would totally be the little squirrel >w> 
“Kurikurikuri??”
“No nonONONONONONO-”
“KURIK URIRIRHR!?”



#The Big 5 turning into animals 


“Get them!” 


“Hey, I’ve been turned into a penguin. Can I go home?” 


“You’re excused.” 


“For the last time, we did not order a Magic Cylinder!” 


“You know pal, you could have told me that before I set it up.” 


#would baby kaiba have blue eyes white dragon plushies? 


i hate all 126,000 of you 
“Hey Yugi, you just missed your relatives.” 


“Yeah, we just sent them up to your house.”





#Kaiba lines up all the yugioh spinoff protags in a line looking for a rival 


“Hate your hair. Your hair. And your hair. Annnnd…” 
“Lemme guess, you have a great personality.”
#And instead of a sewer crocodile it’s some sewer dragon thing..lol…

#The dagger on Bakura’s leg is the Millennium Rod
“Then I bet you weren’t expecting THIS.” 


[SCREAMS OF HORROR] 


“AHA!”


“Oh, okay.”
#So, when Kuzco gets turned into other animals, does Kaiba get turned into other monster cards, like UFO turtle and Fortress Whale since the big 5 got turned into cards?
“Don’t you say a word…” 

#Yami Bakura being sung Happy Birthday?
“ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR~”


“Happy, happy birthday!”“From all of us to you!”“We wish it was our birthday!”“So we could party too!”


“Happy, happy birthday!”“May all your dreams come true~”




“Uh-oh.”  


“Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a waterfall.” 


“Yep.”  


“Dark hole at the bottom?” 


“Most likely.” 


“Bring it on.”



[*If you like these crossover redraws, consider supporting me on Patreon or buying me a coffee?]

phuiscribbles: When the heart of the card responds to your trust just right #does this make kaiba kuzco #is kaiba gonna build kaibaland on ...

Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the...

Children, Climbing, and Fucking: elidyce: luckyladylily: ohnoagremlin: itsvondell: off-in-lala-land: You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time. imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting. Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult! Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done. Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks. Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks* Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.
Children, Climbing, and Fucking: elidyce:

luckyladylily:

ohnoagremlin:

itsvondell:

off-in-lala-land:

You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip the game from his hands, stash it in my backpack, and force him to enjoy history goddamnit. This vacation cost a lot and the game is only for the hotel and travel time.

imagine trying to force someone to think that stonehenge is fun


take your kids places they actually want to go instead of getting mad when they quietly self-entertain, he’s not hurting nobody. me & my shitbag siblings would be climbing that fucking thing, gameboy kid is doing alright 


Some small child: does not yet have the mental development or contextual understanding to appreciate why these particular rocks are extra interesting.
Some adult: God I hate that children don’t think like adults! I would force them to pretend they do because I interpret child thought patterns as a personal insult!

Child: *looks at rocks for approx. 30 seconds, listens to vaguely interesting story about them for another minute or so, glances at the rocks again, is Now Done.
Parent: I understand that your attention span has done all it can with the stimulation provided. Here is your gameboy to keep you entertained while the adults talk about things you don’t find interesting, like the history of very large rocks.
Child: *quietly squats down and plays with the gameboy, allowing adults to enjoy their rocks*
Parent: I am very glad that I understand to some extent how children’s minds work, or this holiday would be a miserable experience for both of us. How fortunate that I planned ahead to allow my child periods of rest and quiet entertainment during excursions that are primarily for my benefit and enjoyment.

elidyce: luckyladylily: ohnoagremlin: itsvondell: off-in-lala-land: You know, if I was a parent, it would be at this point that I’d rip...