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Rock Johnson: Dwayne (The (Water Skipping) Rock) Johnson
Rock Johnson: Dwayne (The (Water Skipping) Rock) Johnson

Dwayne (The (Water Skipping) Rock) Johnson

Rock Johnson: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks i dont shit that day next day i fiber myself up even more i dont shit that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore i dont shit the third day >i dont shit the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 si have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss suddenly stops the hole is plugged SOS >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray the rock is shot out of my asshole at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to thee ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting shit bullets out of me solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me blacking out the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the shit isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat after an hour it finally seems to be over sim shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar shakily wipe my ass completely clean feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts gondorcallsforaid.rar I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face If I have to read this, so do you. This is funnier than it should be Omfg
Rock Johnson: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg

feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I...

Rock Johnson: Dwayne The Rock Johnson 2 hrs In Samoan culture we have a very special dance called the Taualuga" where the woman dances and she's honored by the men who dance birthday she danced her Taualuga while I proudly danced around her while she laughed and beamed with pride. She had the greatest 80th birthday and her smile was from ear to ear. My grandmother, Lia Maivia was a strong willed, highly respected and tough pioneer in the world of pro wrestling, becoming wrestling's first successful female promoter. But when we hit hard times and were evicted from our apartment, shortly after that my grandmother became homeless. When I finally could afford it, I bought her a place of her very own that she LOVED. I would always ask her after that, "Grandma are you happy?". To which she'd call me by my Samoan name and say, "Tuife'ai Im so happy. thank you.. oh and can you please sing that song I like.." Ha! I'd start singin' away (off key of course) and she'd laugh and smile from ear to ear. A few months after this picture was taken, my grandma passed away peacefully in her sleep. I know we all experience loss and it's so tough to deal with. but for the rest of my life l'l be grateful for the one of a kind lessons only our grandparents can teach us. Miss you grandma and I hope you hear me cause I'm still quietly singin' away to you (off key of course:)... Misiga tele 'oe Grandma, alofa tele atu mo 'oe lividlovers: mumblesbot: jaythenerdkid: weallheartonedirection: The Rock people ask why I cape so hard for him this is why i like how the rock asks the women he cares about if they’re happy. ive seen a story like this about his mom where he asked if she was happy. it’s just a nice thing to ask a woman, i think.  You will literally never have a better reason to cry
Rock Johnson: Dwayne The Rock Johnson
 2 hrs
 In Samoan culture we have a very special dance called the Taualuga"
 where the woman dances and she's honored by the men who dance
 birthday she danced her Taualuga while I proudly danced around her while
 she laughed and beamed with pride. She had the greatest 80th birthday
 and her smile was from ear to ear. My grandmother, Lia Maivia was a
 strong willed, highly respected and tough pioneer in the world of pro
 wrestling, becoming wrestling's first successful female promoter. But when
 we hit hard times and were evicted from our apartment, shortly after that
 my grandmother became homeless. When I finally could afford it, I bought
 her a place of her very own that she LOVED. I would always ask her after
 that, "Grandma are you happy?". To which she'd call me by my Samoan
 name and say, "Tuife'ai Im so happy. thank you.. oh and can you please
 sing that song I like.." Ha! I'd start singin' away (off key of course) and
 she'd laugh and smile from ear to ear. A few months after this picture was
 taken, my grandma passed away peacefully in her sleep. I know we all
 experience loss and it's so tough to deal with. but for the rest of my life l'l
 be grateful for the one of a kind lessons only our grandparents can teach
 us. Miss you grandma and I hope you hear me cause I'm still quietly singin'
 away to you (off key of course:)... Misiga tele 'oe Grandma, alofa tele atu
 mo 'oe
lividlovers:
mumblesbot:

jaythenerdkid:

weallheartonedirection:

The Rock

people ask why I cape so hard for him
this is why

i like how the rock asks the women he cares about if they’re happy. ive seen a story like this about his mom where he asked if she was happy. it’s just a nice thing to ask a woman, i think. 

You will literally never have a better reason to cry

lividlovers: mumblesbot: jaythenerdkid: weallheartonedirection: The Rock people ask why I cape so hard for him this is why i like ho...

Rock Johnson: Dwayne The Rock Johnson 2 hrs In Samoan culture we have a very special dance called the Taualuga" where the woman dances and she's honored by the men who dance birthday she danced her Taualuga while I proudly danced around her while she laughed and beamed with pride. She had the greatest 80th birthday and her smile was from ear to ear. My grandmother, Lia Maivia was a strong willed, highly respected and tough pioneer in the world of pro wrestling, becoming wrestling's first successful female promoter. But when we hit hard times and were evicted from our apartment, shortly after that my grandmother became homeless. When I finally could afford it, I bought her a place of her very own that she LOVED. I would always ask her after that, "Grandma are you happy?". To which she'd call me by my Samoan name and say, "Tuife'ai Im so happy. thank you.. oh and can you please sing that song I like.." Ha! I'd start singin' away (off key of course) and she'd laugh and smile from ear to ear. A few months after this picture was taken, my grandma passed away peacefully in her sleep. I know we all experience loss and it's so tough to deal with. but for the rest of my life l'l be grateful for the one of a kind lessons only our grandparents can teach us. Miss you grandma and I hope you hear me cause I'm still quietly singin' away to you (off key of course:)... Misiga tele 'oe Grandma, alofa tele atu mo 'oe mumblesbot: jaythenerdkid: weallheartonedirection: The Rock people ask why I cape so hard for him this is why i like how the rock asks the women he cares about if they’re happy. ive seen a story like this about his mom where he asked if she was happy. it’s just a nice thing to ask a woman, i think. 
nsfw
Rock Johnson: Dwayne The Rock Johnson
 2 hrs
 In Samoan culture we have a very special dance called the Taualuga"
 where the woman dances and she's honored by the men who dance
 birthday she danced her Taualuga while I proudly danced around her while
 she laughed and beamed with pride. She had the greatest 80th birthday
 and her smile was from ear to ear. My grandmother, Lia Maivia was a
 strong willed, highly respected and tough pioneer in the world of pro
 wrestling, becoming wrestling's first successful female promoter. But when
 we hit hard times and were evicted from our apartment, shortly after that
 my grandmother became homeless. When I finally could afford it, I bought
 her a place of her very own that she LOVED. I would always ask her after
 that, "Grandma are you happy?". To which she'd call me by my Samoan
 name and say, "Tuife'ai Im so happy. thank you.. oh and can you please
 sing that song I like.." Ha! I'd start singin' away (off key of course) and
 she'd laugh and smile from ear to ear. A few months after this picture was
 taken, my grandma passed away peacefully in her sleep. I know we all
 experience loss and it's so tough to deal with. but for the rest of my life l'l
 be grateful for the one of a kind lessons only our grandparents can teach
 us. Miss you grandma and I hope you hear me cause I'm still quietly singin'
 away to you (off key of course:)... Misiga tele 'oe Grandma, alofa tele atu
 mo 'oe
mumblesbot:
jaythenerdkid:

weallheartonedirection:

The Rock

people ask why I cape so hard for him
this is why

i like how the rock asks the women he cares about if they’re happy. ive seen a story like this about his mom where he asked if she was happy. it’s just a nice thing to ask a woman, i think. 

mumblesbot: jaythenerdkid: weallheartonedirection: The Rock people ask why I cape so hard for him this is why i like how the rock ask...

Rock Johnson: Dwayne The Rock Johnsons daughter just came to the world today. He posted this photo saying Tiana Gia Johnson came into this world like a force of nature
Rock Johnson: Dwayne The Rock Johnsons daughter just came to the world today. He posted this photo saying Tiana Gia Johnson came into this world like a force of nature

Dwayne The Rock Johnsons daughter just came to the world today. He posted this photo saying Tiana Gia Johnson came into this world like a...