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Alive, Ass, and Phone: What is the laziest thing you've ever done? I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch. But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting. And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe. He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel. Mention The Laziest Thing You’ve Ever Done
Alive, Ass, and Phone: What is the laziest thing you've
 ever done?
 I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the
 wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS)
 walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person;
 he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a
 bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just
 barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship,
 and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a
 big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face.
 He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how
 to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
 But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the
 phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known
 I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could
 you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts
 the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
 And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of
 sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall
 behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks
 slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just
 witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to
 adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees,
 he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of
 his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel
 and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his
 eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
 He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at
 the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may
 never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's
 not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next
 bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin,
 before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.
Mention The Laziest Thing You’ve Ever Done

Mention The Laziest Thing You’ve Ever Done