Was
Was

Was

hire
 hire

hire

begging
begging

begging

yours
yours

yours

ons
ons

ons

feelings
feelings

feelings

oed
oed

oed

i did
i did

i did

passionately
passionately

passionately

schooled
schooled

schooled

🔥 | Latest

Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE I SAlV I'M ITALIAN, EVERYONE KEEP4 TEA IN ME AND AGKING IF I'M IN THE MAFIA NEXT TIME TELL THEM THEN THEY WILL FEAK YOU. 2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world.  Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen.  I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia. So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck.  And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc. Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes.  He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went.  “Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away. I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work.  When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face.  These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos.  I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle.  For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia.  I never told them I wasn’t, either.
Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE
 I SAlV I'M ITALIAN,
 EVERYONE KEEP4
 TEA IN ME AND
 AGKING IF I'M IN THE
 MAFIA

 NEXT TIME
 TELL THEM

 THEN THEY
 WILL FEAK
 YOU.
2srooky:

giancarlovolpe:

Based on a true story.

this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family. 
I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world. 
Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen. 
I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia.
So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck. 
And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc.
Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes. 
He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went. 
“Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away.
I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work. 
When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face. 
These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos. 
I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle. 
For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia. 
I never told them I wasn’t, either.

2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German,...

Definitely, Future, and Gif: Unproblematic and nice account @LovableAndKind My sister got creeped on and sexually harassed by a jiffy lube guy via text from his personal phone and.... Message Today 3:16 PM You are gorgeous Who is this? Your favorite oil change guy The guy from Jiffy Lube? Yes ma'am I couldn't help but to let you know So I feel like this is a teachable moment for you. While I know you were wanting to give me a compliment, it was completely unnecessary and unsolicited. I am a customer, you are a service provider, and there should be no communication between us outside of that unless I, the customer express interest. I am married, we discussed this when I was talking about my car maintenance, so it can be assumed that I am not interested in any compliments/advances from you When you contacted me, I felt a little panicked because you went back in my file and got my number... I have other personal information, like my address, saved there as well. It is a violation of my privacy for you to contact me from your personal phone with information that you got without my permission. And now I know that you are the type of person to go back in someone's file to find their personal information, what is to keep you from going back and getting my address? There are men who stalk rape, and murder women by getting their information this way. For this reason, I assume there is a Jiffy Lube company policy that you are to never contact a patron on your personal cell phone for personal reasons So now I am in this predicament. I can choose to ignore your violation of my privacy and go to another company to avoid awkward interactions in the future (even though this is the place that I've been going to consistently for the past several years). Or I can contact your company HR and report this incident. Generally I am not in the business of ruining someone's livelihood over something as simple as this, but it is very important to me that you understand why it was completely inappropriate for you to contact me, or any other woman, without explicit consent. Capiche? Sorry about that yes ma'am Oh, and you didn't tell me what the tire pressure was on the rear passenger tire like l asked, so you are definitely not even in my top five favorite oil change guys. mbaku-babygirl: great-tweets: “This is a teachable moment for you.” She did that!!!!
Definitely, Future, and Gif: Unproblematic and nice account
 @LovableAndKind
 My sister got creeped on and sexually harassed by a
 jiffy lube guy via text from his personal phone
 and....

 Message
 Today 3:16 PM
 You are gorgeous
 Who is this?
 Your favorite oil change guy
 The guy from Jiffy Lube?
 Yes ma'am
 I couldn't help but to let you know
 So I feel like this is a teachable
 moment for you. While I know you
 were wanting to give me a
 compliment, it was completely
 unnecessary and unsolicited. I am a

 customer, you are a service
 provider, and there should be no
 communication between us outside
 of that unless I, the customer
 express interest. I am married, we
 discussed this when I was talking
 about my car maintenance, so it can
 be assumed that I am not interested
 in any compliments/advances from
 you
 When you contacted me, I felt a
 little panicked because you went
 back in my file and got my number...
 I have other personal information,
 like my address, saved there as
 well. It is a violation of my privacy
 for you to contact me from your
 personal phone with information
 that you got without my permission.

 And now I know that you are the
 type of person to go back in
 someone's file to find their personal
 information, what is to keep you
 from going back and getting my
 address? There are men who stalk
 rape, and murder women by getting
 their information this way. For this
 reason, I assume there is a Jiffy
 Lube company policy that you are
 to never contact a patron on your
 personal cell phone for personal
 reasons
 So now I am in this predicament. I
 can choose to ignore your violation
 of my privacy and go to another
 company to avoid awkward
 interactions in the future (even
 though this is the place that I've

 been going to consistently for the
 past several years). Or I can contact
 your company HR and report this
 incident. Generally I am not in the
 business of ruining someone's
 livelihood over something as simple
 as this, but it is very important to
 me that you understand why it was
 completely inappropriate for you to
 contact me, or any other woman,
 without explicit consent. Capiche?
 Sorry about that yes ma'am
 Oh, and you didn't tell me what the
 tire pressure was on the rear
 passenger tire like l asked, so you
 are definitely not even in my top five
 favorite oil change guys.
mbaku-babygirl:

great-tweets:

“This is a teachable moment for you.”



She did that!!!!

mbaku-babygirl: great-tweets: “This is a teachable moment for you.” She did that!!!!

Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.
Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower
 Routine
 NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013
 23
 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for
rubitrightintomyeyes:
theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath  Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full exte...

Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn: inlovewithaleheather: thecuckoohaslanded: gerbthenerd: alexander-lamington: thelizardprincess: biglawbear: blacksirencry: swaglexander-the-great: #That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit  me tryna find out if this fool died “The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.” Holy shit And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!! Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this #AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS  I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN. There are many things that will kill you. [citation needed] There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST. There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in. Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN. Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus. It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish. The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the LD50 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you. DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS. Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE. A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND. Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough. I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin: “Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.” “The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.” Remember how the LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.   I DID SOME MATH.   IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.) Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.” THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY. And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria. Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine. Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE. IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST. And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death. Don’t touch the pretty shells. I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have. You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌
Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn:

inlovewithaleheather:

thecuckoohaslanded:


gerbthenerd:

alexander-lamington:


thelizardprincess:


biglawbear:


blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:


#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit 
me tryna find out if this fool died


“The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”
Holy shit


And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore


Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!


Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this



#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS 
I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.
There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]
There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.
There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.
Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.
Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.
It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.
The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the 

LD50

 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.
DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.
Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.
A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.
I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:
“Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”


“The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”
Remember how the 

LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.  
I DID SOME MATH.  
IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)
Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”
THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.
And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.
Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.
Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.
IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.
And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.
Don’t touch the pretty shells.


I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have.


You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌

i-should-be-writing-rn: inlovewithaleheather: thecuckoohaslanded: gerbthenerd: alexander-lamington: thelizardprincess: biglawbear: ...

God, Ignorant, and Love: HE WO MAN FE MALE HU MAN PER SON visual-poetry »swofehuperx by richard tipping (+) [vial mitosisisyourtosis men fabricated the idea that they are the default sex to compensate for their biological inferiority and general superfluousness this is not just the natural order this is the language of a patriarchal culture rhysiare Omg no, you are wrong on so many levels and as a linguist this makes me ache something terrible. In my linguistics dass in undergrad, we actually made fun of people who think like you along these lines and for good reason, because you are wholly ignorant and are choosing to spin narratives about things and fields which you know completely nothing about yet pretend you do. 1 She: This word evolved naturally from Old English from seo/heo which were just words to refer to feminine-female people evolving from Proto- Germanic words meaning that/there. He as a word evolved from the same ideas but Proto-Germanic words for thishere, Your idea of patriarchal language further falls apart when you compare this part of English to other Germanic languages, of which English is related, the words in German for he and she are 'er and sie", completely unrelated So it is by clear happenstance, not some patriarchal conspiracy that the words he and "she in English have similar form. 2. Woman: Oh god this one always gets my goat when people go for this one. Man did not used to mean "male", man used to mean humanity/human being, the old words in Old English for male adult person and female adult person were werman and wifman respectively, we can see this relation in words like werewolf and wife as being the remnants of the base "wer- and the base wif-. Woman evolved phonologically from the word wifman by natural processes where the 'f sound dropped and the became lax. Man dropped its wer stem for reasons mostly unknown but I can guarantee have nothing to do with patriarchy because phonological change has no basis in that. 3. Female: Male and Female actually come etymologically from two completely different words. Male comes from Old French masle which meant masculine, while Female came from Old French as well femella which meant young woman. This is another case, just like he and she where the words coincidentally ended up looking similar without having any direct correlation in historical linguistic processes to make them as such 4 Hman: This word etymologically derives from Proto-Indo- European "ghomon which means earthly being as opposed to heavenly being which would refer to gods. You have some small glimmer of hope here in that the word does eventually branch off into the word for man in some languages but this is still too small of a precedent to base any conspiratorial thinking like you are doing off of 5. Person: This one offends me the most, simply because I love the fuck out of Etruscan language and your continued ignorance just irks me at this point. Person derives from persona from Latin which meant the same meaning, which ultimately derived from phersu Etruscan for mask as Etruscans would often have theatre performers use masks to give identity to the performers. So never once did "person have any meaning to do with son So yes, this IS the natural order or language. Please never proselytise your faulty ideology and misandrist thinking within speaking about word origins and morphology again, as unless you actually do fact checking I will school the everloving hell out of you, stay in vour lane. Swofehuper He Man Male Manson
God, Ignorant, and Love: HE
 WO MAN
 FE MALE
 HU MAN
 PER SON
 visual-poetry
 »swofehuperx by richard tipping (+)
 [vial
 mitosisisyourtosis
 men fabricated the idea that they are the default sex to compensate for their
 biological inferiority and general superfluousness
 this is not just the natural order this is the language of a patriarchal culture
 rhysiare
 Omg no, you are wrong on so many levels and as a linguist this makes me
 ache something terrible. In my linguistics dass in undergrad, we actually made
 fun of people who think like you along these lines and for good reason,
 because you are wholly ignorant and are choosing to spin narratives about
 things and fields which you know completely nothing about yet pretend you do.
 1 She: This word evolved naturally from Old English from seo/heo which
 were just words to refer to feminine-female people evolving from Proto-
 Germanic words meaning that/there. He as a word evolved from the
 same ideas but Proto-Germanic words for thishere, Your idea of
 patriarchal language further falls apart when you compare this part of
 English to other Germanic languages, of which English is related, the
 words in German for he and she are 'er and sie", completely unrelated
 So it is by clear happenstance, not some patriarchal conspiracy that the
 words he and "she in English have similar form.
 2. Woman: Oh god this one always gets my goat when people go for this
 one. Man did not used to mean "male", man used to
 mean humanity/human being, the old words in Old English for male
 adult person and female adult person were werman and wifman
 respectively, we can see this relation in words like werewolf and wife as
 being the remnants of the base "wer- and the base wif-. Woman
 evolved phonologically from the word wifman by natural processes
 where the 'f sound dropped and the became lax. Man dropped
 its wer stem for reasons mostly unknown but I can guarantee have
 nothing to do with patriarchy because phonological change has no
 basis in that.
 3. Female: Male and Female actually come etymologically from two
 completely different words. Male comes from Old French masle which
 meant masculine, while Female came from Old French as well femella
 which meant young woman. This is another case, just like he and she
 where the words coincidentally ended up looking similar without having
 any direct correlation in historical linguistic processes to make them as
 such
 4 Hman: This word etymologically derives from Proto-Indo-
 European "ghomon which means earthly being as opposed to heavenly
 being which would refer to gods. You have some small glimmer of hope
 here in that the word does eventually branch off into the word for man
 in some languages but this is still too small of a precedent to base any
 conspiratorial thinking like you are doing off of
 5. Person: This one offends me the most, simply because I love the fuck
 out of Etruscan language and your continued ignorance just irks me at
 this point. Person derives from persona from Latin which meant the
 same meaning, which ultimately derived from phersu Etruscan
 for mask as Etruscans would often have theatre performers use masks
 to give identity to the performers. So never once did "person have any
 meaning to do with son So yes, this IS the natural order or language.
 Please never proselytise your faulty ideology and misandrist thinking within
 speaking about word origins and morphology again, as unless you actually do
 fact checking I will school the everloving hell out of you, stay in vour lane.
Swofehuper He Man Male Manson

Swofehuper He Man Male Manson

Crying, Dad, and Fall: Big Body Benz @ ItsMissBre So I love Valentine's Day for other reasons My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in my heart) Him and my mom's first Valentine's Day, she could not find a sitter. He wanted to do something really nice for her because she always had us (LOL). He planned this extravagant dinner 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom was so bummed. I remember her crying and saying he should date someone who is able 220 1,555 Big Body Benz ltsMissBre 1d go places and do things, and maybe not Someone with three kids. He didn't even flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy dinner party. He told us to put on our best outfits and he would call us when it was time to come downstairs 2 221 1,937 Big Body Benz a ItsMissBre 1d So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for the date. He went out, got takeout from the nice place for all of us and we had a Valentine's Date all together at the dining room table. I will never forget that. I felt so special. We all got flowers and cards, my brother got th 254 3,417 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d a toy car LOL. When we came down the stairs, he introduced us and said something about our outfits like it was a fashion show Man. That shit stuck with me for years.I loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom did too 32 7 3,952 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast where I y'all about motherhood from the black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it out! tl 1011,320 4 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with my son that I named after hinm 101ロ321 8,774 Heart-warming Valentine’s story
Crying, Dad, and Fall: Big Body Benz
 @ ItsMissBre
 So I love Valentine's Day for other
 reasons
 My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in
 my heart)
 Him and my mom's first Valentine's
 Day, she could not find a sitter. He
 wanted to do something really nice
 for her because she always had us
 (LOL). He planned this extravagant
 dinner
 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client
 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an
 outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter
 to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my
 sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom
 was so bummed. I remember her crying and
 saying he should date someone who is able
 220
 1,555
 Big Body Benz ltsMissBre 1d
 go places and do things, and maybe not
 Someone with three kids. He didn't even
 flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the
 kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy
 dinner party. He told us to put on our best
 outfits and he would call us when it was time
 to come downstairs
 2
 221
 1,937
 Big Body Benz a ItsMissBre 1d
 So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for
 the date. He went out, got takeout from the
 nice place for all of us and we had a
 Valentine's Date all together at the dining
 room table. I will never forget that. I felt so
 special. We all got flowers and cards, my
 brother got
 th 254 3,417
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 a toy car LOL. When we came down the
 stairs, he introduced us and said something
 about our outfits like it was a fashion show
 Man. That shit stuck with me for years.I
 loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom
 did too
 32
 7 3,952
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast
 where I y'all about motherhood from the
 black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it
 out!
 tl 1011,320
 4
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with
 my son that I named after hinm
 101ロ321 8,774
Heart-warming Valentine’s story

Heart-warming Valentine’s story

Crying, Dad, and Dank: Big Body Benz @ItsMissBre So I love Valentine's Day for other reasons My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in my heart) Him and my mom's first Valentine's Day, she could not find a sitter. He wanted to do something really nice for her because she always had us (LOL). He planned this extravagant dinner 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom was so bummed. I remember her crying and saying he should date someone who is able t 220 1,555 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d go places and do things, and maybe not Someone with three kids. He didn't even flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy dinner party. He told us to put on our best outfits and he would call us when it was time to come downstairs 2 t 221 1,937 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for the date. He went out, got takeout from the nice place for all of us and we had a Valentine's Date all together at the dining room table. I will never forget that. I felt so special. We all got flowers and cards, my brother got t 254 3,417 Big Body Benz@_ItsMissBre 1d a toy car LOL. When we came down the stairs, he introduced us and said something about our outfits like it was a fashion show Man. That shit stuck with me for years. I loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom did too t 247 3,952 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast where I y'all about motherhood from the black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it out! 4 ta 101 1 1,320 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with my son that I named after hinm 9101 321 8,774 MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟 by xero_art MORE MEMES
Crying, Dad, and Dank: Big Body Benz
 @ItsMissBre
 So I love Valentine's Day for other
 reasons
 My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in
 my heart)
 Him and my mom's first Valentine's
 Day, she could not find a sitter. He
 wanted to do something really nice
 for her because she always had us
 (LOL). He planned this extravagant
 dinner
 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client
 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an
 outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter
 to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my
 sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom
 was so bummed. I remember her crying and
 saying he should date someone who is able
 t 220 1,555
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 go places and do things, and maybe not
 Someone with three kids. He didn't even
 flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the
 kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy
 dinner party. He told us to put on our best
 outfits and he would call us when it was time
 to come downstairs
 2
 t 221 1,937
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for
 the date. He went out, got takeout from the
 nice place for all of us and we had a
 Valentine's Date all together at the dining
 room table. I will never forget that. I felt so
 special. We all got flowers and cards, my
 brother got
 t 254 3,417
 Big Body Benz@_ItsMissBre 1d
 a toy car LOL. When we came down the
 stairs, he introduced us and said something
 about our outfits like it was a fashion show
 Man. That shit stuck with me for years. I
 loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom
 did too
 t 247 3,952
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast
 where I y'all about motherhood from the
 black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it
 out!
 4
 ta 101 1
 1,320
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with
 my son that I named after hinm
 9101
 321
 8,774
MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟 by xero_art
MORE MEMES

MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟 by xero_art MORE MEMES

Crying, Dad, and Fall: Big Body Benz @ItsMissBre So I love Valentine's Day for other reasons My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in my heart) Him and my mom's first Valentine's Day, she could not find a sitter. He wanted to do something really nice for her because she always had us (LOL). He planned this extravagant dinner 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom was so bummed. I remember her crying and saying he should date someone who is able t 220 1,555 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d go places and do things, and maybe not Someone with three kids. He didn't even flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy dinner party. He told us to put on our best outfits and he would call us when it was time to come downstairs 2 t 221 1,937 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for the date. He went out, got takeout from the nice place for all of us and we had a Valentine's Date all together at the dining room table. I will never forget that. I felt so special. We all got flowers and cards, my brother got t 254 3,417 Big Body Benz@_ItsMissBre 1d a toy car LOL. When we came down the stairs, he introduced us and said something about our outfits like it was a fashion show Man. That shit stuck with me for years. I loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom did too t 247 3,952 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast where I y'all about motherhood from the black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it out! 4 ta 101 1 1,320 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with my son that I named after hinm 9101 321 8,774 MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟
Crying, Dad, and Fall: Big Body Benz
 @ItsMissBre
 So I love Valentine's Day for other
 reasons
 My daddy (well step-dad, but daddy in
 my heart)
 Him and my mom's first Valentine's
 Day, she could not find a sitter. He
 wanted to do something really nice
 for her because she always had us
 (LOL). He planned this extravagant
 dinner
 4:18 AM 12 Feb 19 Twitter Web Client
 5,501 Retweets 19.4K Likes
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 at a fancy restaurant, gave her money for an
 outfit, got her hair done, etc... all for her sitter
 to fall though. So at the time, I was like 8, my
 sister and brother were 7 and 5. My mom
 was so bummed. I remember her crying and
 saying he should date someone who is able
 t 220 1,555
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 go places and do things, and maybe not
 Someone with three kids. He didn't even
 flinch. He made paper invitations for us (the
 kids) and told us we were invited to a fancy
 dinner party. He told us to put on our best
 outfits and he would call us when it was time
 to come downstairs
 2
 t 221 1,937
 Big Body Benz ItsMissBre 1d
 So, he asked my mom to still get dressed for
 the date. He went out, got takeout from the
 nice place for all of us and we had a
 Valentine's Date all together at the dining
 room table. I will never forget that. I felt so
 special. We all got flowers and cards, my
 brother got
 t 254 3,417
 Big Body Benz@_ItsMissBre 1d
 a toy car LOL. When we came down the
 stairs, he introduced us and said something
 about our outfits like it was a fashion show
 Man. That shit stuck with me for years. I
 loved it. I felt so loved and I know my mom
 did too
 t 247 3,952
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 I'm glad y'all enjoyed that! I have a podcast
 where I y'all about motherhood from the
 black perspective @MamaMeetsPod check it
 out!
 4
 ta 101 1
 1,320
 Big Body Benz_ItsMissBre 1d
 Also, 20+ years later, here is my daddy with
 my son that I named after hinm
 9101
 321
 8,774
MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟

MFW I realize Im really not a King: 😟