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Prof: What is the loveliest thing a child has ever said to you? Richard Muller, Prof Physics, UC Berkeley, author "Now, The Physics of Time" Updated Aug 2, 2017 Originally Answered: What is the loveliest thing your child has ever said? "Would you like one, Grandpa?" OK- it was not my child but my 3-year-old granddaughter, but I still think it counts. I had read about the marshmallow test. You give a child a marshmallow, and then say that if she (Layla, in this case) could keep from eating it for 10 minutes, you'll give her a second. So I tried that test with my granddaughter (not with marshmallows, but with chocolate, which she likes much more) According to extensive experiments, children who "pass" the "marshmallow test" are far more successful in later life. They have learned a fundamental truth in life, that delayed gratification can lead to a far better long-term outcome. She sat and watched the chocolate. The 10-minute hourglass finally emptied, and she had succeeded. She asked for her second piece of chocolate. I gave it to her, and she now had two in her hand. That's when she looked up at me and asked, "Would you like one, Grandpa?" Needless to say, from that moment on I would readily give my life for her. 1.3m views View Upvoters View Sharers hippo-pot: awesomacious: The sweetest granddaughter btw the marshmallow test has been linked to class - kids from wealthier families are essentially more likely to trust that they will actually get the marshmallow if they wait whereas poorer kids are generally more used to like, if you have food, eat it. and being wealthier correlates to being more successful later in life because our system is broken. so THAT’s probably why the marshmallow test is a predictor - because it tells you who is wealthy, not who is innately primed to be successful Classic correlation does not equal causation
Prof: What is the loveliest thing a child has
 ever said to you?
 Richard Muller, Prof Physics, UC Berkeley,
 author "Now, The Physics of Time"
 Updated Aug 2, 2017
 Originally Answered: What is the loveliest thing your child has ever
 said?
 "Would you like one, Grandpa?"
 OK- it was not my child but my 3-year-old
 granddaughter, but I still think it counts.
 I had read about the marshmallow test. You give a child
 a marshmallow, and then say that if she (Layla, in this
 case) could keep from eating it for 10 minutes, you'll
 give her a second. So I tried that test with my
 granddaughter (not with marshmallows, but with
 chocolate, which she likes much more)
 According to extensive experiments, children who
 "pass" the "marshmallow test" are far more successful
 in later life. They have learned a fundamental truth in
 life, that delayed gratification can lead to a far better
 long-term outcome.
 She sat and watched the chocolate. The 10-minute
 hourglass finally emptied, and she had succeeded. She
 asked for her second piece of chocolate. I gave it to her,
 and she now had two in her hand. That's when she
 looked up at me and asked, "Would you like one,
 Grandpa?"
 Needless to say, from that moment on I would readily
 give my life for her.
 1.3m views View Upvoters View Sharers
hippo-pot:

awesomacious:
The sweetest granddaughter
btw the marshmallow test has been linked to class - kids from wealthier families are essentially more likely to trust that they will actually get the marshmallow if they wait whereas poorer kids are generally more used to like, if you have food, eat it. and being wealthier correlates to being more successful later in life because our system is broken. so THAT’s probably why the marshmallow test is a predictor - because it tells you who is wealthy, not who is innately primed to be successful

Classic correlation does not equal causation

hippo-pot: awesomacious: The sweetest granddaughter btw the marshmallow test has been linked to class - kids from wealthier families are...

Prof: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8"); *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world * and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error_reporting (E_ALL) ; ini_set("display_errors",true); print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?> I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.
Prof: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8");
 *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code.
 *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS.
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere.
 *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment.
 *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 * and hope it will be enough.
 Farewell.
 error_reporting (E_ALL) ;
 ini_set("display_errors",true);
 print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?>
I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.

I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.

Prof: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset-utf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: * 4 Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this fíle again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough Farewell * error_reporting (E ALL); ini set("display_errors", true) print'<?xml version= "1.0" encodina="UTF-8" ?>' "An") : ?> Don’t read the source, Luke!
Prof: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset-utf-8");
 This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code.
 I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere
 Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 *
 4
 Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this fíle again to write this comment.
 Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 and hope it will be enough
 Farewell
 *
 error_reporting (E ALL);
 ini set("display_errors", true)
 print'<?xml version= "1.0" encodina="UTF-8" ?>' "An") : ?>
Don’t read the source, Luke!

Don’t read the source, Luke!

Prof: If you don't teach your child to obey Jesus, the devil will teach them evolution, sexuality psychology, witchcraft doktorgirlfriend: michi0no: prokopetz: cheesedeity: prokopetz: bear-eggs: geekandmisandry: Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time. #TeamSatan Can satan come teach a class at my school Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers. For example, this guy? Teaches moral philosophy. And this creepy dude? He’s your astronomy professor. Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild. I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school. “Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.” “Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.” “Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.” Okay but it’s kind of fun to look this stuff up. There are literally so many teacher-demons. Like This dude is your foreign language prof. And Mister Chickenlegs is gonna teach you some manners And this guy is your freakin’ Art Professor.  BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!I wanna learn art from the hell puppy! :O(Michi, I just raided the “demons” search on your blog. Good times, lemme tell ya.DEMON DATABASE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Ohhhh, boy, I’m about to lose some hours here.)
Prof: If you don't teach your
 child to obey Jesus, the
 devil will teach them
 evolution, sexuality
 psychology, witchcraft
doktorgirlfriend:

michi0no:
prokopetz:

cheesedeity:

prokopetz:

bear-eggs:

geekandmisandry:

Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time.
#TeamSatan

Can satan come teach a class at my school

Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers.
For example, this guy?
Teaches moral philosophy.
And this creepy dude?
He’s your astronomy professor.
Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild.

I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school.

“Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.”
“Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.”
“Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.”


Okay but it’s kind of fun to look this stuff up. There are literally so many teacher-demons. Like
This dude is your foreign language prof.

And Mister Chickenlegs is gonna teach you some manners
And this guy is your freakin’ Art Professor. 

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!I wanna learn art from the hell puppy! :O(Michi, I just raided the “demons” search on your blog. Good times, lemme tell ya.DEMON DATABASE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Ohhhh, boy, I’m about to lose some hours here.)

doktorgirlfriend: michi0no: prokopetz: cheesedeity: prokopetz: bear-eggs: geekandmisandry: Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledg...

Prof: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset-utf-8"); /* *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons *I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough Farewell. * error_reporting (E_ALL) ini set("display_errors", true); print ('<?xml version-""1,0" encoding- "UTF -8 " ?>"\n") : ?> Who needs license agreements when you got this! F
Prof: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset-utf-8");
 /*
 *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code
 I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 *I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS.
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere
 *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment.
 *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 and hope it will be enough
 Farewell.
 *
 error_reporting (E_ALL)
 ini set("display_errors", true);
 print ('<?xml version-""1,0" encoding- "UTF -8 " ?>"\n") : ?>
Who needs license agreements when you got this! F

Who needs license agreements when you got this! F

Prof: Posted by u/biguy124 8 months ago 41.9k Professors that have been offered sexual favors by students or students that have offered sexual favors to professors, what happened? nsfw Schwagbert 31.8k points 8 months ago Short story from someone I use to know: She was struggling in her Astronomy class and went in to office hours for the professor. She kept making hints and using body language to signal she was dtf, but apparently the prof just kept slowly moving the picture of his family on his desk further towards her until she left. Give Award Share Report Save Magnussens_Casserole 11.7k points Damn, that's a smart play. 8 months ago Give Award Share Report Save antianchors 4.2k points 8 months ago Astronomical Give Award Share Report Save 10 more replies 11 more replies Digitalmonster7068 17.6k points 8 months ago 3 I guess you can say that she eventually *puts on shades* ..got the picture Give Award Share Report Save 101 more replies feels-vining: xubbs: hyperazraphael: surprisebitch: absolutely stellar A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-laced) math professors. She ACTUALLY sat on his desk and had a super low-cut shirt on and everything and actually leaned over to him and according to eye-witnesses: Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.” The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone: “Study” Before promptly getting up and walking away just leaving her on the desk. “Then study” Thot status: PATROLLED Professors
Prof: Posted by u/biguy124 8 months ago
 41.9k Professors that have been offered sexual favors by students or
 students that have offered sexual favors to professors, what
 happened?
 nsfw

 Schwagbert 31.8k points 8 months ago
 Short story from someone I use to know:
 She was struggling in her Astronomy class and went in to office hours for the professor. She
 kept making hints and using body language to signal she was dtf, but apparently the prof
 just kept slowly moving the picture of his family on his desk further towards her until she
 left.
 Give Award Share Report Save
 Magnussens_Casserole 11.7k points
 Damn, that's a smart play.
 8 months ago
 Give Award Share Report Save

 antianchors 4.2k points 8 months ago
 Astronomical
 Give Award Share Report Save
 10 more replies
 11 more replies
 Digitalmonster7068 17.6k points 8 months ago 3
 I guess you can say that she eventually
 *puts on shades*
 ..got the picture
 Give Award Share Report Save
 101 more replies
feels-vining:

xubbs:

hyperazraphael:


surprisebitch:

absolutely stellar

A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-laced) math professors. She ACTUALLY sat on his desk and had a super low-cut shirt on and everything and actually leaned over to him and according to eye-witnesses:
Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.”
The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone:
“Study” 
Before promptly getting up and walking away just leaving her on the desk.


“Then study”

Thot status:
PATROLLED


Professors

feels-vining: xubbs: hyperazraphael: surprisebitch: absolutely stellar A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straig...