Precious


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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         saying hi
        

            
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 saying hi

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        talented
        

            
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personable

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        loves
        

            
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        lovely
        

            
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lovely

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

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    Crying, Head, and Kkk: It's just a tattoo," he says, when the silence goes on so long that we have nearly
 fallen over the edge of it into a pit of black nothingness. "It's not as if I came home
 and said I'd got someone pregnant.
 It seems to me, unhinged by shock, that this might have been the better option.
 His father says, "Where?"
 "On my arm," he says, and touches his bicep through his shirt.
 His lovely shoulder.
 For three days, I can't speak to my son. I can hardly bear to look at him. I decide
 this is rational. The last thing we need, I think, is an explosion of white-hot words
 that
 In any case, I'm not even sure what it is I want to say. In my mind's eye I stand
 there, a bitter old woman with pursed lips wringing my black-gloved hands. He's
 done the one thing that I've said for years, please d
 upset me if you did this. And now it's happened. So there's nothing left to say
 everyone carries around for the rest of their lives, e
 ngraved on their hearts.
 on't do this. It would really
 So I cry instead. I have a lump in my throat that stops me from eating. I feel as if
 someone has died. I keep thinking of his skin, his precious skin, inked like a pig
 carcasS
 My husband asks, "Have you seen it yet?"
 I shake my head. Like a child, I am hoping that if I keep my eyes tightly shut the
 whole thing will disappear
 It's his body," he says gently. "His choice.
 But what if he wants to be a lawyer?
 A lawyer?
 "Or an accountant."
 He'll be wearing a suit. No one will ever know. And he doesn't want to be a
 I know. I know
 tifalockharts
 this article about some woman's 21 y/o son coming home from school w/ a
 tattoo is THE funniest thing i have seen today
 tifalockharts
 On day three, still in a fog of misery, I say to him, "Shall we talk?"
 We sit down with cups of coffee. I open my mouth to speak and end up crying
 instead. I say, "You couldn't have done anything to hurt me more."
 job I don't even want. I say, "But you're not. You're different. I will never look at
 you in the same way again. It's a visceral feeling. Maybe because I'm your mother
 All those years of looking after your body-taking you to the dentist and making
 you drink milk and worrying about green leafy vegetables and sunscreen and
 cancer from mobile phones. And then you let some stranger inject ink under your
 skin. To me, it seems like self-mutilation. If you'd lost your arm in a car accident, I
 would have understood. I would have done everything to make you feel better
 But this -this is desecration. And I hate it."
 'M SHRIEKING
 regretityet
 You guys.
 gutmeats
 The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
 pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
 What the fuck
 mustlearntoadult
 SOMEONE LINK THE ARTICLE
 wepon
 a classi
 doctorangelpenguin
 As I was reading this I kept waiting for the tattoo to be revealed as like a nazi
 symbol or some racist shit like for the kkk of something but nope..... She was
 just THAT hurt by ink
 lilaccoloursplash
 You left out the BEST part-stand, a lone tyrannosaurus, bellowing at a world i
 don't understand."
 spontaneoustornadoes
 This woman's writing skills holy fuck
 Source: elsas #give them to me #that stars moon sun quote? raw as F U C K
 49,991 notes
I thought it was satire. It wasnt.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Crying, Head, and Kkk: It's just a tattoo," he says, when the silence goes on so long that we have nearly
 fallen over the edge of it into a pit of black nothingness. "It's not as if I came home
 and said I'd got someone pregnant.
 It seems to me, unhinged by shock, that this might have been the better option.
 His father says, "Where?"
 "On my arm," he says, and touches his bicep through his shirt.
 His lovely shoulder.
 For three days, I can't speak to my son. I can hardly bear to look at him. I decide
 this is rational. The last thing we need, I think, is an explosion of white-hot words
 that
 In any case, I'm not even sure what it is I want to say. In my mind's eye I stand
 there, a bitter old woman with pursed lips wringing my black-gloved hands. He's
 done the one thing that I've said for years, please d
 upset me if you did this. And now it's happened. So there's nothing left to say
 everyone carries around for the rest of their lives, e
 ngraved on their hearts.
 on't do this. It would really
 So I cry instead. I have a lump in my throat that stops me from eating. I feel as if
 someone has died. I keep thinking of his skin, his precious skin, inked like a pig
 carcasS
 My husband asks, "Have you seen it yet?"
 I shake my head. Like a child, I am hoping that if I keep my eyes tightly shut the
 whole thing will disappear
 It's his body," he says gently. "His choice.
 But what if he wants to be a lawyer?
 A lawyer?
 "Or an accountant."
 He'll be wearing a suit. No one will ever know. And he doesn't want to be a
 I know. I know
 tifalockharts
 this article about some woman's 21 y/o son coming home from school w/ a
 tattoo is THE funniest thing i have seen today
 tifalockharts
 On day three, still in a fog of misery, I say to him, "Shall we talk?"
 We sit down with cups of coffee. I open my mouth to speak and end up crying
 instead. I say, "You couldn't have done anything to hurt me more."
 job I don't even want. I say, "But you're not. You're different. I will never look at
 you in the same way again. It's a visceral feeling. Maybe because I'm your mother
 All those years of looking after your body-taking you to the dentist and making
 you drink milk and worrying about green leafy vegetables and sunscreen and
 cancer from mobile phones. And then you let some stranger inject ink under your
 skin. To me, it seems like self-mutilation. If you'd lost your arm in a car accident, I
 would have understood. I would have done everything to make you feel better
 But this -this is desecration. And I hate it."
 'M SHRIEKING
 regretityet
 You guys.
 gutmeats
 The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
 pack up the moon and dismantle the sun.
 What the fuck
 mustlearntoadult
 SOMEONE LINK THE ARTICLE
 wepon
 a classi
 doctorangelpenguin
 As I was reading this I kept waiting for the tattoo to be revealed as like a nazi
 symbol or some racist shit like for the kkk of something but nope..... She was
 just THAT hurt by ink
 lilaccoloursplash
 You left out the BEST part-stand, a lone tyrannosaurus, bellowing at a world i
 don't understand."
 spontaneoustornadoes
 This woman's writing skills holy fuck
 Source: elsas #give them to me #that stars moon sun quote? raw as F U C K
 49,991 notes
I thought it was satire. It wasnt.
                
            

            
            
I thought it was satire. It wasnt.

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    America, Anaconda, and Cards Against Humanity: GAINST F
 SAVES A MERICA
 DAY
 THRE
 Dear Citizen,
 In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our
 country's biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much
 wealth as the bottom 90%
 our lawyers wouldn't let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich
 Cards Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth
 Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest
 people and live in their houses so we settled for something more achievable. Today
 recipients and sent them each a check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting
 these people's lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com
 The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
 You got nothing. And if you don't like it, tough titties
 love you,
 Cards Against Humanity
 My money stolen
 by Cards Against
 Humanity and
 redistributed to
 people poorer
 than me.
 Oh shit! I just got
 SAGAINSTHUMANITYSAVESA
 Cards Against Humanity
 Cards Against Humanity
raspberrymama:

viewtiful-kim:


solluxisms:

systlin:

strutsonicely:

tomyfancy:

systlin:
I’M DYING
Day 3 of 5
“Dear Citizen,
In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.
Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.
Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.
I love you,
Cards Against Humanity”


I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor. 

Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it. 

I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death.


“We’re Just Being regular correct” D A M


I stan one (1) card game 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                America, Anaconda, and Cards Against Humanity: GAINST F
 SAVES A MERICA
 DAY
 THRE
 Dear Citizen,
 In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our
 country's biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much
 wealth as the bottom 90%
 our lawyers wouldn't let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich
 Cards Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth
 Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest
 people and live in their houses so we settled for something more achievable. Today
 recipients and sent them each a check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting
 these people's lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com
 The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
 You got nothing. And if you don't like it, tough titties
 love you,
 Cards Against Humanity
 My money stolen
 by Cards Against
 Humanity and
 redistributed to
 people poorer
 than me.
 Oh shit! I just got
 SAGAINSTHUMANITYSAVESA
 Cards Against Humanity
 Cards Against Humanity
raspberrymama:

viewtiful-kim:


solluxisms:

systlin:

strutsonicely:

tomyfancy:

systlin:
I’M DYING
Day 3 of 5
“Dear Citizen,
In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.
Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.
Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.
You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.
I love you,
Cards Against Humanity”


I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor. 

Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it. 

I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death.


“We’re Just Being regular correct” D A M


I stan one (1) card game 

                
            

            
            
raspberrymama:

viewtiful-kim:


solluxisms:

systlin:

strutsonicely:

tomyfancy:

systlin:
I’M DYING
Day 3 of 5
“Dear Citizen,
In order to...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bad, Doctor, and Funny: "We all know you are faking being sick to avoid the class"
 Funny Popcorn
 This happened to me while i was in elementary school. Our mrs. math teacher really
 hated my guts for no reason really. She would always find an axcuse to lower my
 grades or blame me for something i didn't do. I was a pretty sick kid that had bad
 astma, dermatitis and was sickish in general. Thinking back, I think her hating me had
 a lot to do with that, as she felt i had "special treatment and privileges"
 One day we were doing a test and i started feeling very bad. It came to the point of
 really needing to puke but i held it in because i knew she wouldn't believe me. Theni
 started shaking and kinda puked a bit in my mouth so i stood up and started to go
 towards the toilet (we had a rule that anybody who has to go to the toilet can do so
 without asking)
 She ofcourse stopped me and told me to sit back down. I tried explaining but she
 wouldn't have it. One girl stood up to me and said something like "he is really pale and
 shaking and sweating, i think he needs to go home". That caused the teacher to go on
 a 5 minute rant how i'm a spoiled liar who didn't study for the test and now i'm trying
 to fool everybody and that i'm taking away their precious test time and they should
 hate me for that" I said i really need to puke and she just scoffed saying "You ain't
 going anywhere with your lies so you might as well do your imaginary puking here'".
 Yeah... You can guess what happened next. Not sure if this is compliance because i
 couldn't hold it in anymore anyway but i was so happy while doing it. First i puked a
 bit trough my arm and then it all went out. Across her desk (grading book was ruined)
 and all over the floor. She tried to blame me saying that i "threw up by force" but the
 principle didn't buy it after the doctor examined me. Nothing special happened to her
 but she never bothered me again.
Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all over the classroom
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Doctor, and Funny: "We all know you are faking being sick to avoid the class"
 Funny Popcorn
 This happened to me while i was in elementary school. Our mrs. math teacher really
 hated my guts for no reason really. She would always find an axcuse to lower my
 grades or blame me for something i didn't do. I was a pretty sick kid that had bad
 astma, dermatitis and was sickish in general. Thinking back, I think her hating me had
 a lot to do with that, as she felt i had "special treatment and privileges"
 One day we were doing a test and i started feeling very bad. It came to the point of
 really needing to puke but i held it in because i knew she wouldn't believe me. Theni
 started shaking and kinda puked a bit in my mouth so i stood up and started to go
 towards the toilet (we had a rule that anybody who has to go to the toilet can do so
 without asking)
 She ofcourse stopped me and told me to sit back down. I tried explaining but she
 wouldn't have it. One girl stood up to me and said something like "he is really pale and
 shaking and sweating, i think he needs to go home". That caused the teacher to go on
 a 5 minute rant how i'm a spoiled liar who didn't study for the test and now i'm trying
 to fool everybody and that i'm taking away their precious test time and they should
 hate me for that" I said i really need to puke and she just scoffed saying "You ain't
 going anywhere with your lies so you might as well do your imaginary puking here'".
 Yeah... You can guess what happened next. Not sure if this is compliance because i
 couldn't hold it in anymore anyway but i was so happy while doing it. First i puked a
 bit trough my arm and then it all went out. Across her desk (grading book was ruined)
 and all over the floor. She tried to blame me saying that i "threw up by force" but the
 principle didn't buy it after the doctor examined me. Nothing special happened to her
 but she never bothered me again.
Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all over the classroom
                
            

            
            
Everyone knows “that kid” who was sick in class but nobody knows “that teacher” who continues to harass a kid after they’ve thrown up all ov...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Clothes, Friends, and Fucking: satanpositive
 Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue
 feels-for-the-fictional
 I have been waiting for this post all my life
 marzipanandminutiae
 They are indeed purple
 But one thing you've missed
 The concept of "purple
 Didn't always exist.
 Some cultures lack names
 For a color, you see
 Hence good old Homer
 And his "wine-dark sea.
 A usage so quaint,
 A phrasing so old,
 For verses of romance
 Is sheer fucking gold
 So roses are red.
 Violets once were called blue
 I'm hugely pedantic
 But what else is new?
 ineptshieldmaid
 My friend you're not wrong
 About Homer's wine-ey sea!
 Colours are a matter
 Of cultural contingency
 Words are in flux
 And meanings they drift
 But the word purple
 You've given short shrift.
 The concept of purple
 My friends, is old
 And refers to a pigment
 once precious as gold.
 By crushing up molluscs
 From the wine-dark sea
 You make a dye:
 Imperial decree
 Meant that in Rome
 to wear purpura
 was a privilege reserved
 For only the emperor!
 The word purple',
 for clothes so fancy
 Entered English
 By the ninth century
 Why then are voilets
 Not purple in song?
 The dye from this mollusc,
 known for so long
 Is almost magenta;
 More red than blue
 The concept of purple
 is old, and yet new
 The dye is red
 So this might be true
 Roses are purple
 And violets are blue
 squeeful
 While this song makes me merry,
 Tyrian purple dyes many a hue
 From magenta to berry
 And a true purple too
 But fun as it is to watch this poetic race
 The answer is staring you right in the face
 Roses are red and violets are blue
 Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.
Roses are red
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Clothes, Friends, and Fucking: satanpositive
 Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue
 feels-for-the-fictional
 I have been waiting for this post all my life
 marzipanandminutiae
 They are indeed purple
 But one thing you've missed
 The concept of "purple
 Didn't always exist.
 Some cultures lack names
 For a color, you see
 Hence good old Homer
 And his "wine-dark sea.
 A usage so quaint,
 A phrasing so old,
 For verses of romance
 Is sheer fucking gold
 So roses are red.
 Violets once were called blue
 I'm hugely pedantic
 But what else is new?
 ineptshieldmaid
 My friend you're not wrong
 About Homer's wine-ey sea!
 Colours are a matter
 Of cultural contingency
 Words are in flux
 And meanings they drift
 But the word purple
 You've given short shrift.
 The concept of purple
 My friends, is old
 And refers to a pigment
 once precious as gold.
 By crushing up molluscs
 From the wine-dark sea
 You make a dye:
 Imperial decree
 Meant that in Rome
 to wear purpura
 was a privilege reserved
 For only the emperor!
 The word purple',
 for clothes so fancy
 Entered English
 By the ninth century
 Why then are voilets
 Not purple in song?
 The dye from this mollusc,
 known for so long
 Is almost magenta;
 More red than blue
 The concept of purple
 is old, and yet new
 The dye is red
 So this might be true
 Roses are purple
 And violets are blue
 squeeful
 While this song makes me merry,
 Tyrian purple dyes many a hue
 From magenta to berry
 And a true purple too
 But fun as it is to watch this poetic race
 The answer is staring you right in the face
 Roses are red and violets are blue
 Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.
Roses are red
                
            

            
            
Roses are red