I Dont
I Dont

I Dont

Threes
Threes

Threes

Alwaysed
Alwaysed

Alwaysed

Shaming
Shaming

Shaming

A Good
A Good

A Good

Personalize
Personalize

Personalize

For You
For You

For You

And
And

And

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person: ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-gaudiest-fish: lipsredasroses: mayothefirst: madamehearthwitch: thegrimmlovely: riskpig: endangeredslug: riskpig: teamseabreeze: recycled-soul: skywritingg: iloveyournudity: cuntsoloud-ishere: pizzaforpresident: This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!! This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes. WHAT? The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read. WHAT????? Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books? Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies. https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL This is very true lol Yo what the f u c k not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing. What the fuck I’m ace but here you guys go
person: ballet-royale:
midnight-spectrum-again:

thesaltofcarthage:

festivefeathers:

safifonhasstrel:

bundibird:

jehovahhthickness:

biggest-gaudiest-fish:


lipsredasroses:

mayothefirst:


madamehearthwitch:

thegrimmlovely:

riskpig:

endangeredslug:

riskpig:

teamseabreeze:

recycled-soul:

skywritingg:

iloveyournudity:

cuntsoloud-ishere:

pizzaforpresident:

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!




This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.


WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????


Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook


Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still. 


WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL


This is very true lol 


Yo what the f u c k 






not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important????? 

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.



What the fuck



I’m ace but here you guys go

ballet-royale: midnight-spectrum-again: thesaltofcarthage: festivefeathers: safifonhasstrel: bundibird: jehovahhthickness: biggest-...

person: No black person is immune in America by cc03m21 MORE MEMES
person: No black person is immune in America by cc03m21
MORE MEMES

No black person is immune in America by cc03m21 MORE MEMES

person: No black person is immune in America
person: No black person is immune in America

No black person is immune in America

person: The person to say this : You guys are having brains? by ricky16x MORE MEMES
person: The person to say this : You guys are having brains? by ricky16x
MORE MEMES

The person to say this : You guys are having brains? by ricky16x MORE MEMES

person: The person to say this : You guys are having brains?
person: The person to say this : You guys are having brains?

The person to say this : You guys are having brains?

person: Hey, you made at least one person chuckle in your memes. (Im not sure if something similar has been posted before)
person: Hey, you made at least one person chuckle in your memes. (Im not sure if something similar has been posted before)

Hey, you made at least one person chuckle in your memes. (Im not sure if something similar has been posted before)

person: dreamsofamadman: somethingaboutdelia: cryingalonewithfrankenstein: This photo always cheers me up a bit. It’s a front-page article from 1955 about Christine Jorgensen, one of the first women to have sex-reassignment surgery. Since the text is a bit small and I couldn’t find a larger copy, here’s what the small blurb says: A World of a Difference George W. Jorgensen, Jr., son of a Bronx carpenter, served in the Army for two years and was given honorable discharge in 1946. Now George is no more. After six operations, Jorgensen’s sex has been changed and today she is a striking woman, working as a photographer in Denmark. Parents were informed of the big change in a letter Christine (that’s her new name) sent to them recently. This article is 58 years old, and it’s more respectful of Christine’s pronoun choices and name than some publications are today. It makes me happy to see a newspaper be respectful of a trans person’s choice of name and pronouns like that :3 Say it again for the haters in the back who want to keep pretending that trans people, or even treating trans people with respect is even remotely anything new. 😎 It’s worth mentioning, that this was kinda celebrated as a wonder of the atomic age at the time. “Look at the power of our scientists! Look at what we can do!”You know, back when America was trying to be the leader in scientific advancement.
person: dreamsofamadman:

somethingaboutdelia:

cryingalonewithfrankenstein:

This photo always cheers me up a bit. It’s a front-page article from 1955 about Christine Jorgensen, one of the first women to have sex-reassignment surgery.
Since the text is a bit small and I couldn’t find a larger copy, here’s what the small blurb says:
A World of a Difference

George W. Jorgensen, Jr., son of a Bronx carpenter, served in the Army for two years and was given honorable discharge in 1946. Now George is no more. After six operations, Jorgensen’s sex has been changed and today she is a striking woman, working as a photographer in Denmark. Parents were informed of the big change in a letter Christine (that’s her new name) sent to them recently.

This article is 58 years old, and it’s more respectful of Christine’s pronoun choices and name than some publications are today. It makes me happy to see a newspaper be respectful of a trans person’s choice of name and pronouns like that :3

Say it again for the haters in the back who want to keep pretending that trans people, or even treating trans people with respect is even remotely anything new. 😎

It’s worth mentioning, that this was kinda celebrated as a wonder of the atomic age at the time. “Look at the power of our scientists! Look at what we can do!”You know, back when America was trying to be the leader in scientific advancement.

dreamsofamadman: somethingaboutdelia: cryingalonewithfrankenstein: This photo always cheers me up a bit. It’s a front-page article fro...

person: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
person: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: so...

person: The person who owns test@test.com
person: The person who owns test@test.com

The person who owns test@test.com

person: danisnotonfire-deactivated: binches: my cousin is literally the most boring person alive this isn’t very boring to me i’d like to know what the fuck a kitchen dresser is
person: danisnotonfire-deactivated:

binches:
my cousin is literally the most boring person alive 

this isn’t very boring to me i’d like to know what the fuck a kitchen dresser is

danisnotonfire-deactivated: binches: my cousin is literally the most boring person alive this isn’t very boring to me i’d like to know...

person: I almost just want to rear-end this person to be their friend by InventTimesNewRoman MORE MEMES
person: I almost just want to rear-end this person to be their friend by InventTimesNewRoman
MORE MEMES

I almost just want to rear-end this person to be their friend by InventTimesNewRoman MORE MEMES

person: I almost just want to rear-end this person to be their friend
person: I almost just want to rear-end this person to be their friend

I almost just want to rear-end this person to be their friend

person: I always like that person.
person: I always like that person.

I always like that person.

person: sprachtraeume: rb to make a trans person feel loved 💕
person: sprachtraeume:

rb to make a trans person feel loved 💕

sprachtraeume: rb to make a trans person feel loved 💕

person: I’m a terrible person
person: I’m a terrible person

I’m a terrible person

person: positive-memes: dahlias-love: I need this hoodie!! I found this hoodie here…
person: positive-memes:

dahlias-love:
I need this hoodie!!
I found this hoodie
here…

positive-memes: dahlias-love: I need this hoodie!! I found this hoodie here…

person: But then you took revenge as well by killing the person who killed you
person: But then you took revenge as well by killing the person who killed you

But then you took revenge as well by killing the person who killed you

person: Just old person will understand?!
person: Just old person will understand?!

Just old person will understand?!

person: scenetopher: sprachtraeume: rb to make a trans person feel loved 💕 you bet your ass I’m reblogging this hell yeah trans rights bby
person: scenetopher:

sprachtraeume:

rb to make a trans person feel loved 💕


you bet your ass I’m reblogging this hell yeah trans rights bby

scenetopher: sprachtraeume: rb to make a trans person feel loved 💕 you bet your ass I’m reblogging this hell yeah trans rights bby

person: “I’d rather be a hypocrite than the same person forever" [oc]
person: “I’d rather be a hypocrite than the same person forever" [oc]

“I’d rather be a hypocrite than the same person forever" [oc]

person: “I’d rather be a hypocrite than the same person forever" [oc]
person: “I’d rather be a hypocrite than the same person forever" [oc]

“I’d rather be a hypocrite than the same person forever" [oc]

person: ups-dogs: Rodger the Dachshund – waits to greet the UPS person… They always give him a treat and a pat on the head. Rodger seems to like the UPS driver…Parkesburg, PA.
person: ups-dogs:

Rodger the Dachshund – waits to greet the UPS person… They always give him a treat and a pat on the head. Rodger seems to like the UPS driver…Parkesburg, PA.

ups-dogs: Rodger the Dachshund – waits to greet the UPS person… They always give him a treat and a pat on the head. Rodger seems to like...

person: Not really a meme but a wholesome, inspirational person
person: Not really a meme but a wholesome, inspirational person

Not really a meme but a wholesome, inspirational person

person: You can judge a person by the way a mask is worn
person: You can judge a person by the way a mask is worn

You can judge a person by the way a mask is worn

person: That one person
person: That one person

That one person

person: I’m not OCD either and I’m struggling with it, I can’t even imagine how bad it looks to an OCD person.
person: I’m not OCD either and I’m struggling with it, I can’t even imagine how bad it looks to an OCD person.

I’m not OCD either and I’m struggling with it, I can’t even imagine how bad it looks to an OCD person.

person: Mongol cat person
person: Mongol cat person

Mongol cat person

person: If you are not a person of colour, take a minute and put yourself in their shoes…
person: If you are not a person of colour, take a minute and put yourself in their shoes…

If you are not a person of colour, take a minute and put yourself in their shoes…

person: relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them. Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes. Update: I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour. I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF Update: After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow! You are the future As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks. Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins? ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit vive la resistance Chaotic Good
person: relyonloveonceinawhile:
whoopsrobots:

equilateralwaffle:

kotsuso:

sophygurl:

blindly-nostalgic:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.
Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.

Update:
I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.

I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF

Update:
After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!

You are the future

As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.

Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins?

ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit

vive la resistance

Chaotic Good

relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremembe...

person: I hope the person reading this has a happy day
person: I hope the person reading this has a happy day

I hope the person reading this has a happy day

person: [OC] (Not) A Morning Person
person: [OC] (Not) A Morning Person

[OC] (Not) A Morning Person

person: Be the person Iroh knows you can be
person: Be the person Iroh knows you can be

Be the person Iroh knows you can be

person: Am I the only person who did this in first grade?
person: Am I the only person who did this in first grade?

Am I the only person who did this in first grade?

person: what kind of person-
person: what kind of person-

what kind of person-

person: When you get to bring your dog to work and she reminds you that you’re her favorite person. (Source)
person: When you get to bring your dog to work and she reminds you that you’re her favorite person. (Source)

When you get to bring your dog to work and she reminds you that you’re her favorite person. (Source)

person: Definitely all the same person. #Memes #Actress #MargotRobbie
person: Definitely all the same person. #Memes #Actress #MargotRobbie

Definitely all the same person. #Memes #Actress #MargotRobbie

person: Third person is a little extreme, but I agree with the sentiment of this post
person: Third person is a little extreme, but I agree with the sentiment of this post

Third person is a little extreme, but I agree with the sentiment of this post