Im Not
Im Not

Im Not

Orang
Orang

Orang

Tumblr Com
Tumblr Com

Tumblr Com

A Href
A Href

A Href

Yang
Yang

Yang

The
The

The

Pale
Pale

Pale

And
And

And

Jago
Jago

Jago

sama
sama

sama

🔥 | Latest

Paling: English Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches,breeches, wise, precise Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surp Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. plait, promise, pal. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem
Paling: English Pronunciation
 If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will
 be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers
 in the world.
 After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of
 hard labour to reading six lines aloud.
 Dearest creature in creation,
 Study English pronunciation.
 I will teach you in my verse
 Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
 I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
 Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
 Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
 So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
 Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
 Dies and diet, lord and word,
 Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
 (Mind the latter, how it's written.)
 Now I surely will not plague you
 With such words as plaque and ague.
 But be careful how you speak:
 Say break and steak, but bleak and streak
 Cloven, oven, how and low,
 Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
 Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
 Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
 Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
 Exiles, similes, and reviles;
 Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
 Solar, mica, war and far;
 One, anemone, Balmoral,
 Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
 Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
 Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
 Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
 Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
 Blood and flood are not like food,
 Nor is mould like should and would.
 Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
 Toward, to forward, to reward.
 And your pronunciation's OK
 When you correctly say croquet,
 Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
 Friend and fiend, alive and live.
 Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
 And enamour rhyme with hammer.
 River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
 Doll and roll and some and home.
 Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
 Neither does devour with clangour.
 Souls but foul, haunt but aunt
 Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
 Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
 And then singer, ginger, linger,
 Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
 Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
 Query does not rhyme with very,
 Nor does fury sound like bury.
 Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
 Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
 Though the differences seem little,
 We say actual but victual.
 Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
 FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
 Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
 Dull, bull, and George ate late.
 Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
 Science, conscience, scientific
 Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
 Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
 We say hallowed, but allowed,
 People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
 Mark the differences, moreover,
 Between mover, cover, clover;
 Leeches,breeches, wise, precise
 Chalice, but police and lice;
 Camel, constable, unstable,
 Principle, disciple, label.
 Petal, panel, and canal,
 Wait, surp
 Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
 Senator, spectator, mayor.
 Tour, but our and succour, four.
 Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
 Sea, idea, Korea, area,
 Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
 Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
 Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
 Compare alien with Italian,
 Dandelion and battalion.
 plait, promise, pal.
 Sally with ally, yea, ye,
 Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
 Say aver, but ever, fever,
 Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
 Heron, granary, canary.
 Crevice and device and aerie.
 Face, but preface, not efface.
 Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas.
 Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
 Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
 Ear, but earn and wear and tear
 Do not rhyme with here but ere.
 Seven is right, but so is even,
 Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
 Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
 Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
 Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
 Is a paling stout and spikey?
 Won't it make you lose your wits,
 Writing groats and saying grits?
 It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
 Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
 Islington and Isle of Wight,
 Housewife, verdict and indict.
 Finally, which rhymes with enough,
 Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
 Hiccough has the sound of cup.
 My advice is to give up!!!
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
lolzandtrollz:

Excellent English Pronunciation Poem

lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem

Paling: MISTERY MISTERI ANGKERNYA JAM 12 MALANM Banyak sudah cerita-cerita seram yang muncul pada jam 12 malam. Jam 12 malam identik dengan jam munculnya para makhluk halus Pendapat seperti itu mungkin muncul karena malam adalah kegelapan, di saat langit menghitam dan semua menjadi bayang-bayang sehingga orang beranggapan setan akan muncul pada saat tersebut. Tetapi sebenarnya malam merupakan tempat sugesti semesta, apalagi tepat pukul 12 malam. Ini adalah saat bergantinya hari. Dimana jam menunjukkan pada titik 0 dan ini waktu yang tepat untuk mengsugesti manusia. Konon kabarnya, ketika waktu pada titik 0 maka emosi manusia pun pada titik nol. Jika emosi manuisa pada titik nol 0 sugesti apa pun akan mudah masuk pada pribadi seseorang. Maka dari itu para orang pintar (dukun) atau para penyihir akan meniupkan kutukan atau mantranua selepas tengah malam. . Tak hanya dukun dan penyihir, setan-setan pun akan lebih senang jika bekerja di malam hari karena manusia lebih mudah diperdaya. Meskipun pada dasarnya setan itu akan muncul kapan saja dan di mana saja. Mereka tidak mengenal waktu ketika menggoda manusia. . Hanya malam adalah waktu tepat untuk menjerumuskan manusia pada jurang kenistaan yang paling dalam. Keadaan malam yang sepi membuat para dukun-penyihir dan setan lebih mudah berkonsentrasi pada misinya. Pada saat kita tertidur maka aura yang kita keluarkan cenderung lebih natural, tidak terpengaruh aura siapa pun sehingga aura dunia cenderung lebih tenang dan tidak kacau. . Karena itu malam menjadi pilihan para setan untuk menjalankan kejahatan. Aura yang netral menyebakan mereka lebih leluasa untuk menggoda manusia. Maka dari itu ada sebuah kepercayaan, jika orang biasa tidur lewat dari jam dua belas malam maka dia akan sulit terkena pengaruh sihir, baik santet atau pelet. Karena jiwanya masih sadar ketika waktu menunjukan titik nol. Bagaimana menurut kalian yang hobi begadang?
Paling: MISTERY
 MISTERI ANGKERNYA
 JAM 12 MALANM
Banyak sudah cerita-cerita seram yang muncul pada jam 12 malam. Jam 12 malam identik dengan jam munculnya para makhluk halus Pendapat seperti itu mungkin muncul karena malam adalah kegelapan, di saat langit menghitam dan semua menjadi bayang-bayang sehingga orang beranggapan setan akan muncul pada saat tersebut. Tetapi sebenarnya malam merupakan tempat sugesti semesta, apalagi tepat pukul 12 malam. Ini adalah saat bergantinya hari. Dimana jam menunjukkan pada titik 0 dan ini waktu yang tepat untuk mengsugesti manusia. Konon kabarnya, ketika waktu pada titik 0 maka emosi manusia pun pada titik nol. Jika emosi manuisa pada titik nol 0 sugesti apa pun akan mudah masuk pada pribadi seseorang. Maka dari itu para orang pintar (dukun) atau para penyihir akan meniupkan kutukan atau mantranua selepas tengah malam. . Tak hanya dukun dan penyihir, setan-setan pun akan lebih senang jika bekerja di malam hari karena manusia lebih mudah diperdaya. Meskipun pada dasarnya setan itu akan muncul kapan saja dan di mana saja. Mereka tidak mengenal waktu ketika menggoda manusia. . Hanya malam adalah waktu tepat untuk menjerumuskan manusia pada jurang kenistaan yang paling dalam. Keadaan malam yang sepi membuat para dukun-penyihir dan setan lebih mudah berkonsentrasi pada misinya. Pada saat kita tertidur maka aura yang kita keluarkan cenderung lebih natural, tidak terpengaruh aura siapa pun sehingga aura dunia cenderung lebih tenang dan tidak kacau. . Karena itu malam menjadi pilihan para setan untuk menjalankan kejahatan. Aura yang netral menyebakan mereka lebih leluasa untuk menggoda manusia. Maka dari itu ada sebuah kepercayaan, jika orang biasa tidur lewat dari jam dua belas malam maka dia akan sulit terkena pengaruh sihir, baik santet atau pelet. Karena jiwanya masih sadar ketika waktu menunjukan titik nol. Bagaimana menurut kalian yang hobi begadang?

Banyak sudah cerita-cerita seram yang muncul pada jam 12 malam. Jam 12 malam identik dengan jam munculnya para makhluk halus Pendapat sep...

Paling: It was Tom Riddle. Not snake-like, pale, and red eyed. Human. He smiled, not menacingly, but£ warmly. Hello, Harry. Harry smiled as well. "Nice to see you again, In The Last Few Minutes Of Hisom. Life, Harry Potter Has One Last "is it nice? I was never much of a warm presence when I was among the living.I hurt many people. But most of all, I tried to hurt you. It's ironic that you were among the few who saw me as Tom Riddle, rather than Lord Voldemort." Talk With Tom Riddle. Harry Potter is sitting at home sixty years after the battle of Hogwarts, an old man now, when suddenly his scar hurts. Fear can drive you mad," said Harry. "I've seen it many times." Harry sat alone. The house that once housed Ginny and his children was near empty. Ginny had passed a year ago, and he had to admit it had taken something out of him. He had lost so many people, but this had struck him hard. Tom Riddle smiled again, somewhat sadly. Harry, we've got to go. Harry looked at him. There were tears in his eyes. He thought of his children. They all had families of their own, and they were supposed to be visiting soon. He sighed I'm scared." he said know." said another voice. No one knew he was sick. Ron knew, but he made him swear on his life not to tell anyone. He'd had a good life, and he wanted to go without a fuss. Enough close brushes with death had made him want to go quietly. Harry turned, It was Ginny, He gasped. Behind her stood every person he had ever loved and lost. Hagrid, and Dumbledore, and Dobby, and Lupin and Tonks and Snape and Cedric and Sirius and even the Dursleys. His parents stood next to Ginny, smiling He wanted some tea, but he felt too weak to get up. He took out his wand, then stopped. He held the old, etched wood in his hands, then lightly made sparks fly out of the tip. "We're with you, Harry." his mother said softly Harry turned to Riddle. Tom stuck out his hand. "Come, Harry." He smiled. He always loved how still, so many years later, magic still amazed him. Suddenly, his scar hurt. He wasn't alarmed by it, nor by the man who had appeared in the corner of the room. Harry laughed, tears in his eyes, his scar burning, as he grabbed Riddle's hand, and then left this world together with Death, as equals daily-harrypotter-world: Alternative/Extended epilogue to Deathly Hallows.
Paling: It was Tom Riddle. Not snake-like, pale, and red
 eyed. Human. He smiled, not menacingly, but£
 warmly.
 Hello, Harry.
 Harry smiled as well. "Nice to see you again,
 In The Last Few Minutes Of Hisom.
 Life, Harry Potter Has One Last
 "is it nice? I was never much of a warm presence
 when I was among the living.I hurt many
 people. But most of all, I tried to hurt you. It's
 ironic that you were among the few who saw
 me as Tom Riddle, rather than Lord Voldemort."
 Talk With Tom Riddle.
 Harry Potter is sitting at home sixty years after the
 battle of Hogwarts, an old man now, when suddenly
 his scar hurts.
 Fear can drive you mad," said Harry. "I've seen
 it many times."
 Harry sat alone. The house that once housed
 Ginny and his children was near empty. Ginny
 had passed a year ago, and he had to admit it
 had taken something out of him. He had lost so
 many people, but this had struck him hard.
 Tom Riddle smiled again, somewhat sadly.
 Harry, we've got to go.
 Harry looked at him. There were tears in his
 eyes.
 He thought of his children. They all had families
 of their own, and they were supposed to be
 visiting soon. He sighed
 I'm scared." he said
 know." said another voice.
 No one knew he was sick. Ron knew, but he
 made him swear on his life not to tell anyone.
 He'd had a good life, and he wanted to go
 without a fuss. Enough close brushes with death
 had made him want to go quietly.
 Harry turned, It was Ginny, He gasped.
 Behind her stood every person he had ever
 loved and lost. Hagrid, and Dumbledore, and
 Dobby, and Lupin and Tonks and Snape and
 Cedric and Sirius and even the Dursleys. His
 parents stood next to Ginny, smiling
 He wanted some tea, but he felt too weak to get
 up. He took out his wand, then stopped. He held
 the old, etched wood in his hands, then lightly
 made sparks fly out of the tip.
 "We're with you, Harry." his mother said softly
 Harry turned to Riddle.
 Tom stuck out his hand. "Come, Harry."
 He smiled. He always loved how still, so many
 years later, magic still amazed him.
 Suddenly, his scar hurt.
 He wasn't alarmed by it, nor by the man who
 had appeared in the corner of the room.
 Harry laughed, tears in his eyes, his scar burning,
 as he grabbed Riddle's hand, and then left this
 world together with Death, as equals
daily-harrypotter-world:

Alternative/Extended epilogue to Deathly Hallows.

daily-harrypotter-world: Alternative/Extended epilogue to Deathly Hallows.

Paling: It was Tom Riddle. Not snake-like, pale, and red eyed. Human. He smiled, not menacingly, but£ warmly. Hello, Harry. Harry smiled as well. "Nice to see you again, In The Last Few Minutes Of Hisom. Life, Harry Potter Has One Last "is it nice? I was never much of a warm presence when I was among the living.I hurt many people. But most of all, I tried to hurt you. It's ironic that you were among the few who saw me as Tom Riddle, rather than Lord Voldemort." Talk With Tom Riddle. Harry Potter is sitting at home sixty years after the battle of Hogwarts, an old man now, when suddenly his scar hurts. Fear can drive you mad," said Harry. "I've seen it many times." Harry sat alone. The house that once housed Ginny and his children was near empty. Ginny had passed a year ago, and he had to admit it had taken something out of him. He had lost so many people, but this had struck him hard. Tom Riddle smiled again, somewhat sadly. Harry, we've got to go. Harry looked at him. There were tears in his eyes. He thought of his children. They all had families of their own, and they were supposed to be visiting soon. He sighed I'm scared." he said know." said another voice. No one knew he was sick. Ron knew, but he made him swear on his life not to tell anyone. He'd had a good life, and he wanted to go without a fuss. Enough close brushes with death had made him want to go quietly. Harry turned, It was Ginny, He gasped. Behind her stood every person he had ever loved and lost. Hagrid, and Dumbledore, and Dobby, and Lupin and Tonks and Snape and Cedric and Sirius and even the Dursleys. His parents stood next to Ginny, smiling He wanted some tea, but he felt too weak to get up. He took out his wand, then stopped. He held the old, etched wood in his hands, then lightly made sparks fly out of the tip. "We're with you, Harry." his mother said softly Harry turned to Riddle. Tom stuck out his hand. "Come, Harry." He smiled. He always loved how still, so many years later, magic still amazed him. Suddenly, his scar hurt. He wasn't alarmed by it, nor by the man who had appeared in the corner of the room. Harry laughed, tears in his eyes, his scar burning, as he grabbed Riddle's hand, and then left this world together with Death, as equals daily-harrypotter-world: Alternative/Extended epilogue to Deathly Hallows.
Paling: It was Tom Riddle. Not snake-like, pale, and red
 eyed. Human. He smiled, not menacingly, but£
 warmly.
 Hello, Harry.
 Harry smiled as well. "Nice to see you again,
 In The Last Few Minutes Of Hisom.
 Life, Harry Potter Has One Last
 "is it nice? I was never much of a warm presence
 when I was among the living.I hurt many
 people. But most of all, I tried to hurt you. It's
 ironic that you were among the few who saw
 me as Tom Riddle, rather than Lord Voldemort."
 Talk With Tom Riddle.
 Harry Potter is sitting at home sixty years after the
 battle of Hogwarts, an old man now, when suddenly
 his scar hurts.
 Fear can drive you mad," said Harry. "I've seen
 it many times."
 Harry sat alone. The house that once housed
 Ginny and his children was near empty. Ginny
 had passed a year ago, and he had to admit it
 had taken something out of him. He had lost so
 many people, but this had struck him hard.
 Tom Riddle smiled again, somewhat sadly.
 Harry, we've got to go.
 Harry looked at him. There were tears in his
 eyes.
 He thought of his children. They all had families
 of their own, and they were supposed to be
 visiting soon. He sighed
 I'm scared." he said
 know." said another voice.
 No one knew he was sick. Ron knew, but he
 made him swear on his life not to tell anyone.
 He'd had a good life, and he wanted to go
 without a fuss. Enough close brushes with death
 had made him want to go quietly.
 Harry turned, It was Ginny, He gasped.
 Behind her stood every person he had ever
 loved and lost. Hagrid, and Dumbledore, and
 Dobby, and Lupin and Tonks and Snape and
 Cedric and Sirius and even the Dursleys. His
 parents stood next to Ginny, smiling
 He wanted some tea, but he felt too weak to get
 up. He took out his wand, then stopped. He held
 the old, etched wood in his hands, then lightly
 made sparks fly out of the tip.
 "We're with you, Harry." his mother said softly
 Harry turned to Riddle.
 Tom stuck out his hand. "Come, Harry."
 He smiled. He always loved how still, so many
 years later, magic still amazed him.
 Suddenly, his scar hurt.
 He wasn't alarmed by it, nor by the man who
 had appeared in the corner of the room.
 Harry laughed, tears in his eyes, his scar burning,
 as he grabbed Riddle's hand, and then left this
 world together with Death, as equals
daily-harrypotter-world:

Alternative/Extended epilogue to Deathly Hallows.

daily-harrypotter-world: Alternative/Extended epilogue to Deathly Hallows.

Paling: hadanelith I'll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words "crucifix nail nipples" into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way I require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a story, and now I need the rest of it. Could I get a link, or a summary, or something? Pretty please? All right buckle the fuck up kids, it's the year 2012 and I've just been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior editor. It's a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight movies is about to come out, and everything is vampires. Everything. I haven't edited a single thing in months which isn't about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So l open the file and notice there's a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but you see I'm not quite dead inside yet so I carry on, bushy tailed and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It'll be dead by page 24, but I don't know that yet. I'm just editing one more vampire boner fest The MC is a girl who we'll call Sue. Sue is a Good GirlT, Sue is Not Like Other Girls TM, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad BoyTM for a boyfriend. We'll call him Dickhead Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it's okay. Except it's not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he's fine with except he's got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words hey stud" and he follows, dick out before she's even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she's a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he'll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he's a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it's about to get weirder Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True LoveM who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left youl He's been 'instinctively protecting her from rapists by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that's not fucking terrifying at all. Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she'd let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoidedl Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can't decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don't mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure If you've only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve. So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: "her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn't stop" This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be "god fucking dammit" as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that l inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years When the magic al burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower" (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there's more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I'll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and its all a bit of a blur A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed THAT'S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn't take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????lIlll and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement And that's the story of how an author sent me death threats for over a month because I stopped her shitty vampire porn from ever seeing the light of day. You're all fucking WELCOME Sorry to bring this searing back into your lives fam, but I feel it's worth noting that people are tagging this as an"ancient relic" of tumblr text posts and how they're so happy they see this every year and like guys, I hate to tell you this, but uh, this post is only six months old. I posted in on March 3rd 2016. It only seems like years because every time you see it you age five years thebibliosphere #crucifix nail nipples rides immortal #10ng post #nstw 182,818 notes Aug 6th, 2016 I know its a long read but consider: CRUCIFIX NAIL NIPPLES
Paling: hadanelith
 I'll never not be amused by the fact that I can drop the words "crucifix nail nipples" into a
 conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days will join
 me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all the way
 I require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a story, and now I need the rest of
 it. Could I get a link, or a summary, or something? Pretty please?
 All right buckle the fuck up kids, it's the year 2012 and I've just been handed what should be an
 easy editing gig by my senior editor. It's a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight
 movies is about to come out, and everything is vampires. Everything. I haven't edited a single
 thing in months which isn't about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So l open the file and notice
 there's a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous
 was about to go down, but you see I'm not quite dead inside yet so I carry on, bushy tailed and
 bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It'll be dead by page 24, but I don't know that yet. I'm
 just editing one more vampire boner fest
 The MC is a girl who we'll call Sue. Sue is a Good GirlT, Sue is Not Like Other Girls TM, she is
 pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad BoyTM for a
 boyfriend. We'll call him Dickhead
 Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he
 knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it's okay. Except it's not okay because Sue is
 a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he's fine with except he's got such a bad case of
 blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words
 hey stud" and he follows, dick out before she's even finished her sentence. Well turns out that
 was a mistake for Dickhead because she's a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting
 Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he'll feel bad about in the
 morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead.
 Except DBV fucked up and now he's a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it's about to
 get weirder
 Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding
 on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is
 heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of
 her One True LoveM who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead
 never really left youl He's been 'instinctively protecting her from rapists by hiding out on her roof
 and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because
 that's not fucking terrifying at all.
 Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh
 if only she'd let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoidedl Meanwhile
 Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have
 given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can't decide whether he wants to
 get with her or eat her. And I don't mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes
 his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic
 that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True
 Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone
 not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes
 off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will
 never again look on her again and know she is Pure
 If you've only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve.
 So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh
 burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: "her
 breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because
 he loved her so and couldn't stop"
 This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my
 last words will literally be "god fucking dammit" as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the
 afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that l inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is
 somehow still with me after all these years
 When the magic al burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with a
 dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower" (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never
 make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he
 fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true
 monster he really is. But wait, there's more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she
 has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous
 of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which
 was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I'll be honest, I started
 drinking heavily at this point and its all a bit of a blur
 A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And
 he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for
 luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i
 screamed THAT'S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART and my brain short circuited
 completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul
 couldn't take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????lIlll and the book was immediately
 pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a
 friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement
 And that's the story of how an author sent me death threats for over a month because I stopped
 her shitty vampire porn from ever seeing the light of day. You're all fucking WELCOME
 Sorry to bring this searing back into your lives fam, but I feel it's worth noting that people are tagging
 this as an"ancient relic" of tumblr text posts and how they're so happy they see this every year and
 like guys, I hate to tell you this, but uh, this post is only six months old. I posted in on March 3rd 2016.
 It only seems like years because every time you see it you age five years
 thebibliosphere
 #crucifix nail nipples rides immortal
 #10ng post
 #nstw
 182,818 notes Aug 6th, 2016
I know its a long read but consider: CRUCIFIX NAIL NIPPLES

I know its a long read but consider: CRUCIFIX NAIL NIPPLES

Paling: I always thought I was light skin and pale but when put next to a white person Im like wow Nvm I guess 😂
Paling: I always thought I was light skin and pale but when put next to a white person Im like wow Nvm I guess 😂

I always thought I was light skin and pale but when put next to a white person Im like wow Nvm I guess 😂

Paling: thebibli adanel words "crucifix nail nipples" into a conversation and some of you who have been with me since the livejournal days WI ill ioin me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all wa l require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a story, and now I need the rest of it. Could I get a link, or a summary, or something? Pretty please? All right buckle the fuck up kids, it's the year 2012 and I've just been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior editor It's a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight movies is about to come is vampires Everything. I haven't edited a single thing in months which isn't about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So I open the file and notice there's a typo in the title, which really should have been my first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but you see l'm not quite dead inside yet so l carry on, bushy tailed and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It'll be dead by page 24, but I don't know that yet. I'm just editing one more The MC is a girl who we'll call Sue. Sue is a Good GlM, Sue is has somehow managed to find herself a Bad BoyT for a boyfriend Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One but he loves her really so it's okay. Except it's not okay because Sue is a Good GirlTM and holding out till marriage which he's fine with except he's got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words "hey stud" and he follows, dick out before she's even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she's a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he'll feel bad about in the morning, turns in dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he's a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it's about to get weirder g bitten on the Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True Love who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left you! He's been "instinctively protecting her from rapists" by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because at's not fucking terrifying Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she'd let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can't decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don't mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on ure If you've only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: "her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn't stop This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be "god fucking dammit" as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own sol people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years ace is in knowing t on When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with "a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower" (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there's more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I'll be honest, I started drinking an A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed THAT'S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn't take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????!lll!????Il and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement And that's the story of how an author sent me death threats for over a month because l stopped her shitty vampire porn from ever seeing the light of day. You're all fucking WELCOME Worse than Twilightomg-humor.tumblr.com
Paling: thebibli
 adanel
 words "crucifix nail nipples" into a conversation and some
 of you who have been with me since the livejournal days
 WI
 ill ioin me in the flashbacks, screaming and crying all
 wa
 l require context. Because this is a very interesting start of a
 story, and now I need the rest of it. Could I get a link, or a
 summary, or something? Pretty
 please?
 All right buckle the fuck up kids, it's the year 2012 and I've just
 been handed what should be an easy editing gig by my senior
 editor It's a vampire erotica story because one of the final Twilight
 movies is
 about to come
 is vampires
 Everything. I haven't edited a single thing in months which isn't
 about vampires. I am ready, I can do this. So I open the file and
 notice there's a typo in the title, which really should have been my
 first inkling that something horrendous was about to go down, but
 you see l'm not quite dead inside yet so l carry on, bushy tailed
 and bright eyed with my faith in humanity intact. It'll be dead by
 page 24, but I don't know that yet. I'm just editing one more
 The MC is a girl who we'll call Sue. Sue is a Good GlM, Sue is
 has somehow managed to find herself a Bad BoyT for a boyfriend
 Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and
 Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to
 pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One but he
 loves her really so it's okay. Except it's not okay because Sue is a
 Good GirlTM and holding out till marriage which he's fine with except
 he's got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home
 an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words "hey
 stud" and he follows, dick out before she's even finished her
 sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because
 she's a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire
 So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he'll
 feel bad about in the morning, turns in
 dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV
 fucked up and now he's a vampire. Are you still with me? Good,
 cause it's about to get weirder
 g bitten on the
 Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a
 creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to
 repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is
 heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed
 each night crying for the loss of her One True Love who she
 would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead
 never really left you! He's been "instinctively protecting her from
 rapists" by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get
 to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because
 at's not fucking
 terrifying
 Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do
 nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she'd let him touch her secret
 places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile
 Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late
 have given him super senses and now he
 can smell her blood and he can't decide whether he wants to get
 with her or eat her. And I don't mean in the French sense. But he is
 strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and
 neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue
 gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in
 all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure
 vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can
 bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and
 rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to
 marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look
 on
 ure
 If you've only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve
 So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is
 literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from
 memory because these words are burned into my soul: "her breasts
 bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but
 he did not care because he loved her so and couldn't stop
 This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think
 about on my death bed and my last words will literally be "god
 fucking dammit" as I die, carrying that mental image with me into
 the afterlife. My own sol
 people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all
 these years
 ace is in knowing t
 on
 When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her
 bruised, battered and broken with "a dainty blue bells of bruises
 around her secret flower" (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never
 make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid)
 Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of
 the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster
 he really is. But wait, there's more. Remember the dick biting
 vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a
 vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of
 Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because
 sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin,
 so she is still a spiritual virgin and I'll be honest, I started drinking
 an
 A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing
 the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter
 but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring
 innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts
 off, at which point i screamed THAT'S NOT HOW YOU REACH
 THE HEART and my brain short circuited completely and I have no
 idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my
 soul couldn't take it. I emailed the chief editor like
 ?????!lll!????Il and the book was immediately pulled from the
 work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house
 Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the
 manuscript past our entry levels
 for requirement
 And that's the story of how an author sent me death threats for over
 a month because l stopped her shitty vampire porn from ever
 seeing the light of day. You're all fucking WELCOME
Worse than Twilightomg-humor.tumblr.com

Worse than Twilightomg-humor.tumblr.com

Paling: BEER TROUBLESHOOTING SYMPTOM FAULT ACTION Glass being held at Rotate glass so that Feet cold and wet. open end points toward ceiling Stand nextto. pearestdog, complain ahout incorrect angle Improper bladder control. Feet warm and wet. Beer unusually pale and tasteless. Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. Mouth contains cigarette butts Get someone to buy you another beer. Glass empty You have fallen over Have yourself backward leashed to bar. You have fallen forward See above. Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. Mouth not.open, orRetire to restroom, practice in mirror. glass applied to wrong part of face. You are looking through bottom of Get someone to buy you another beer. Floor blurred. empty glass. g Floor moving. You are being carried Find out if you are being takento another bar. Confirm home address with bartender. out Room seems unusually dark Bar has closed. Taxi suddenty takesB Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. on colorful aspect and textures. Everyone looks up to you and smiles. Cover mouth. You are dancing on Fall on somebody the table. cushy-looking. Punch him. Apologize to just in case it was It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up Beer is crystal-clear. Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear You have been in aeveryone you see, fight. them. Dont recognize You've wandered into See if they have free anyone, don't recognize the room your're in. Your singing sounds distorted. Don't remember the words to the song. the wrong party beer Have more beer until your voice impr oves Play air guitar. The beer is too weak. Beer is just right. Beer 101
Paling: BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
 SYMPTOM
 FAULT
 ACTION
 Glass being held at Rotate glass so that
 Feet cold and wet.
 open end points
 toward ceiling
 Stand nextto.
 pearestdog,
 complain ahout
 incorrect angle
 Improper bladder
 control.
 Feet warm and wet.
 Beer unusually pale
 and tasteless.
 Opposite wall
 covered with
 fluorescent lights.
 Mouth contains
 cigarette butts
 Get someone to buy
 you another beer.
 Glass empty
 You have fallen over Have yourself
 backward
 leashed to bar.
 You have fallen
 forward
 See above.
 Beer tasteless, front
 of your shirt is wet.
 Mouth not.open, orRetire to restroom,
 practice in mirror.
 glass applied to
 wrong part of face.
 You are looking
 through bottom of Get someone to buy
 you another beer.
 Floor blurred.
 empty glass.
 g Floor moving.
 You are being carried Find out if you are
 being takento
 another bar.
 Confirm home
 address with
 bartender.
 out
 Room seems
 unusually dark
 Bar has closed.
 Taxi suddenty takesB
 Beer consumption has
 exceeded personal
 limitations.
 on colorful aspect
 and textures.
 Everyone looks up to
 you and smiles.
 Cover mouth.
 You are dancing on Fall on somebody
 the table.
 cushy-looking.
 Punch him.
 Apologize to
 just in case it was
 It's water. Somebody
 is trying to sober you
 up
 Beer is crystal-clear.
 Hands hurt, nose
 hurts, mind unusually
 clear
 You have been in aeveryone you see,
 fight.
 them.
 Dont recognize
 You've wandered into See if they have free
 anyone, don't
 recognize the room
 your're in.
 Your singing sounds
 distorted.
 Don't remember the
 words to the song.
 the wrong party
 beer
 Have more beer until
 your voice impr oves
 Play air guitar.
 The beer is too weak.
 Beer is just right.
Beer 101

Beer 101