Off


                    
                    
                
Friendly
Friendly

Friendly

Trying
Trying

Trying

In 2016
In 2016

In 2016

The
The

The

Cut
Cut

Cut

Looks Like
Looks Like

Looks Like

Pissing
Pissing

Pissing

When
When

When

Locker Room
Locker Room

Locker Room

Other
Other

Other

🔥 | Latest

Bad, Definitely, and Fail: jessicameats: brunhiddensmusings: katjohnadams: minusthelove: kingjaffejoffer: Executive chef at a top Thai restaurant tells Gordon Ramsay that his Pad Thai is trash [x] Lmao “what do you want to know from me?” Fuck! So no one thinks that Gordon’s being “Put in his place” or something, this is from Gordon’s show where he specifically goes to places around the world to be schooled in how they do their cuisine and un-fuck the British (Imperialist but we can’t admit that on TV, but he does hint STRONGLY at it in some episodes) way of cooking “exotic” dishes by learning from the people who do it best. That’s the world’s most successful chef putting himself in a position to learn from chefs around the world in world-class restaurants, grandmother’s houses, in a cramped make-shift kitchen on a rocking and speeding steam train, and more. He doesn’t shy away from learning from people who’ve never been in the remote vicinity of a culinary arts school or run a “professional” kitchen. And here he’s showing a chef what he thinks of as Pad Thai and if you don’t think one of the most talented chefs on earth didn’t know he was specifically setting himself up to fail to make a point to his audience, then hopefully you do now! <3  the context- he wasnt saying ‘heres my world famous pad tai for you to sample, a recipe i hold more dear then my own mother’ its closer to  ‘here, this is how i was taught to cook pad tai in liverpool by a man named charles, how far off am i?’ I also think the precise criticism is interesting. The other chef doesn’t say it’s bad. He definitely doesn’t say it’s trash. He doesn’t say it’s a bad meal. What he says is that it’s not pad thai. It’s been labelled as a specific thing and it doesn’t resemble that thing to someone from that culture.
Bad, Definitely, and Fail: jessicameats:

brunhiddensmusings:

katjohnadams:

minusthelove:

kingjaffejoffer:

Executive chef at a top Thai restaurant tells Gordon Ramsay that his Pad Thai is trash [x]

Lmao “what do you want to know from me?” Fuck!

So no one thinks that Gordon’s being “Put in his place” or something, this is from Gordon’s show where he specifically goes to places around the world to be schooled in how they do their cuisine and un-fuck the British (Imperialist but we can’t admit that on TV, but he does hint STRONGLY at it in some episodes) way of cooking “exotic” dishes by learning from the people who do it best.
That’s the world’s most successful chef putting himself in a position to learn from chefs around the world in world-class restaurants, grandmother’s houses, in a cramped make-shift kitchen on a rocking and speeding steam train, and more. He doesn’t shy away from learning from people who’ve never been in the remote vicinity of a culinary arts school or run a “professional” kitchen.
And here he’s showing a chef what he thinks of as Pad Thai and if you don’t think one of the most talented chefs on earth didn’t know he was specifically setting himself up to fail to make a point to his audience, then hopefully you do now! <3 

the context- he wasnt saying ‘heres my world famous pad tai for you to sample, a recipe i hold more dear then my own mother’ its closer to  ‘here, this is how i was taught to cook pad tai in liverpool by a man named charles, how far off am i?’

I also think the precise criticism is interesting. The other chef doesn’t say it’s bad. He definitely doesn’t say it’s trash. He doesn’t say it’s a bad meal. What he says is that it’s not pad thai. It’s been labelled as a specific thing and it doesn’t resemble that thing to someone from that culture.

jessicameats: brunhiddensmusings: katjohnadams: minusthelove: kingjaffejoffer: Executive chef at a top Thai restaurant tells Gordon Ram...

80s, Drinking, and Eminem: @karllscott "how old are you" me: Windows Media Payer Now Playing Library Rip Sync Burn 977 The Hitz Channel Radio . 1009 977 The Hitz Channel 212.72.186.10 1040 1074 00:12 angelique. b_bodai Replying to @karllscott and @kerkreids me 3D Pinbll BALL 9500 Plauer 1 Hit Mission Targets To Select Mission tatiana ME! @listentosigrid Replying to @karllscott and @lalisaswift but also LimeWire: Enabling Open Information Sharing File Yiew Navigation Resources Tools Help LimeWire Monitor Library Search 86) Filter Results: Media Name .Size Sp. All (3) )Outkast - Ghetto Musickm 11 Dem Franchize Boyz -On Top o... mp3 3,425. .T3 r. 128 8 Musical - Rent -525600 Minutes mp3 3,844.. .T3 r.. 160 2 Afroman - Because l Got High (M.. mpg 33,35. .Modem 2 Jay-z Jay Music Videos Dirt..mpg 47,19...Modem 2 7 Jay-Z- Jay - Music Videos- Dirt Off Your Shor Audio mp3 5,528... T3 or 192 Programs Video Emniom Artist Fort Minor 70's & 80's Music Nancy 2 aLirWayne - Fireman (Musi rish Drinking Songs 2Chingy Right Thur Music Video .. mpg 39,43...Modem 2pac Ft. Outlawz & Val Young . mp3 5,133 192 Eminem Stan (Full Uncut Versio... mpeg 83,22.. . Modem @lD12 & Eminem-Fight Music mp3 6,170…Modem 192 Techno - Abercrombie & Fitch - . mp3 4,044.. T3 o .. 128 MC Hammer & Vailla Ice- Play T.. mp3 4,644.. . T3 or . 128 House music-Techno - Dance Ra.. mp3 4,045... T3 or .. 128 dd 纽DJ Tiesto -li e@Heineken Mus..zip 851,7,.cable/. Juelz Santana Musical-Rent Album All (8) 1970 Those Fabulous '70s Devil's Night (Advance) Ghettomusick YLS Back To Search Download Browse Host Stop Search Junk tmagnetmix.comTt Purchase Limewire PRO to help us make downloads faster DI Lime Wire bledia Player hanif halimi @hanifgenzo Replying to @karllscot Windows Live Messenger Sian in to Windows Live Messenger example555@hotmail.com Password Can't sign in? Sign in as: Available- □ Remember my ID and password Sign me in automatically Cancel Sign in Don't have a Windows Live ID? Sign up Privacy statment Terms of use Options thehighpriestofreverseracism: resplendentgoldenwings: getinmelanin011: thoughts-of-a-better-me: otherluces: super-craig-is-gay: xxtc-96xx: thefloatingstone: monstrousgourmandizingcats: alwaysabeautifullife: bonersniper: I got a virus from that screenshot of Limewire I hate you all I miss my guy paperclip I hate you all for this  I heard this post. I highkey feel attacked
80s, Drinking, and Eminem: @karllscott
 "how old are you"
 me:
 Windows Media Payer
 Now Playing
 Library
 Rip
 Sync
 Burn
 977 The Hitz Channel
 Radio .
 1009
 977 The Hitz Channel
 212.72.186.10
 1040
 1074
 00:12

 angelique.
 b_bodai
 Replying to @karllscott and @kerkreids
 me
 3D Pinbll
 BALL
 9500
 Plauer 1
 Hit Mission
 Targets To
 Select Mission

 tatiana ME!
 @listentosigrid
 Replying to @karllscott and @lalisaswift
 but also
 LimeWire: Enabling Open Information Sharing
 File Yiew Navigation Resources Tools Help
 LimeWire
 Monitor
 Library
 Search
 86)
 Filter Results:
 Media
 Name
 .Size Sp.
 All (3)
 )Outkast - Ghetto Musickm
 11 Dem Franchize Boyz -On Top o... mp3 3,425. .T3 r. 128
 8 Musical - Rent -525600 Minutes mp3 3,844.. .T3 r.. 160
 2 Afroman - Because l Got High (M.. mpg 33,35. .Modem
 2 Jay-z Jay Music Videos Dirt..mpg 47,19...Modem
 2 7 Jay-Z- Jay - Music Videos- Dirt Off Your Shor
 Audio
 mp3 5,528... T3 or 192
 Programs
 Video
 Emniom Artist
 Fort Minor
 70's & 80's Music Nancy
 2 aLirWayne - Fireman (Musi
 rish Drinking Songs
 2Chingy Right Thur Music Video .. mpg 39,43...Modem
 2pac Ft. Outlawz & Val Young . mp3 5,133 192
 Eminem Stan (Full Uncut Versio... mpeg 83,22.. . Modem
 @lD12 & Eminem-Fight Music mp3 6,170…Modem 192
 Techno - Abercrombie & Fitch - . mp3 4,044.. T3 o .. 128
 MC Hammer & Vailla Ice- Play T.. mp3 4,644.. . T3 or . 128
 House music-Techno - Dance Ra.. mp3 4,045... T3 or .. 128
 dd 纽DJ Tiesto -li e@Heineken Mus..zip 851,7,.cable/.
 Juelz Santana
 Musical-Rent
 Album
 All (8)
 1970 Those Fabulous '70s
 Devil's Night (Advance)
 Ghettomusick YLS
 Back To Search
 Download
 Browse Host
 Stop Search
 Junk
 tmagnetmix.comTt
 Purchase Limewire PRO to help us make downloads faster
 DI Lime Wire bledia Player

 hanif halimi
 @hanifgenzo
 Replying to @karllscot
 Windows Live Messenger
 Sian in to
 Windows Live Messenger
 example555@hotmail.com
 Password
 Can't sign in?
 Sign in as:
 Available-
 □ Remember my ID and password
 Sign me in automatically
 Cancel
 Sign in
 Don't have a Windows Live ID? Sign up
 Privacy statment Terms of use Options
thehighpriestofreverseracism:
resplendentgoldenwings:

getinmelanin011:

thoughts-of-a-better-me:

otherluces:

super-craig-is-gay:


xxtc-96xx:

thefloatingstone:

monstrousgourmandizingcats:

alwaysabeautifullife:


bonersniper:
I got a virus from that screenshot of Limewire

I hate you all










I miss my guy paperclip 

I hate you all for this 

I heard this post.

I highkey feel attacked

thehighpriestofreverseracism: resplendentgoldenwings: getinmelanin011: thoughts-of-a-better-me: otherluces: super-craig-is-gay: xxtc-9...

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: weloveshortvideos: when you’re an ant and you piss off your girlfriend
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: weloveshortvideos:

when you’re an ant and you piss off your girlfriend

weloveshortvideos: when you’re an ant and you piss off your girlfriend

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Live, Jason Bateman, and Jason: Go Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction
Live, Jason Bateman, and Jason: Go
Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction

Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction