Not My Type
Not My Type

Not My Type

Is Not
Is Not

Is Not

My Cat
My Cat

My Cat

Only
Only

Only

Thats Not
Thats Not

Thats Not

Either
Either

Either

You My
You My

You My

Have
Have

Have

Are
Are

Are

With
With

With

🔥 | Latest

Click, Fail, and Fucking: 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away irrevocably-delicious Irrevocably-delicious @india draws Anyone who's worked in retail has probably participated in this thing I call "circle talk" and it is by far one the most exhausting and irritating parts of my job. 12-05 PM Jan 19, 2019- Twitter Web App Circle talk is when a customer asks you a question, but when you answer it, they continue to stare at you blankly. So you repeat your answer over and over, slightly rephrasing it until it permeates their brain. "How big does this cactus grow?" "It'll get quite large, but it's very slow growing, so you won't see much of a difference until almost 10 years" "Oh my wife has one that's like half metre" "Yes that must be quite old" "So they can get that big?" "Yes but not for a long time" "about 10 years?" "YES" 12:05 PM Jan 19, 2019 Twitter Web App he Cackes Grows slo Oh right& he Cockuss slow growino The Slow growing Cachs Small Cactsou will not grouw og quich Some retail complaints from twitter this morning. I don't think anyone can fully comprehend how stupid humans are until they work a retail or hospitality job. starfire003 I'd like to add on the people who ask a question, get an answer they don't like and ask the same question in a different way to get the response they want. corisanna I get stuff like this often enough at work, but that last one? There is one customer we have that does that so frequently and for so long (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY MINUTES of trying to get the answer she wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she isn't present. Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and try it again with the same employees the next day greatfay Me: "For the drink, it's [x amount]) Customer: "I saw a sign that I get a free drink?" Me: "For signing up for our rewards program, yes:" Customer: "Oh... I don't have one of those Me: "Well if you sign up, you can get the free drink! :) Customer: "Eh don't want to sign up" Me: " " Customer: "I hate getting all those emails" Me: "Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can show you how:) Customer: "No thanks, I don't want an account" Me: "Okay... well the drink will be [x amount]: Customer: "I thought it was free?" Me: ")" Me: "It's free if you sign up for our rewards program:)" Customer: "I don't want to sign up" Me: "Then the drink isn't free :)" Customer: "You can't just give me the drink?" Me: "No, I can't unfortunately:) Customer: "Why not? It's only [x amount] Me: "if that's not a lot of money to you, why don't you just pay for it? : Customer: "This is shit customer service" Me: ")" Customer: "This is highway robbery, squeezing every dime out of people, you should be ashamed of yourself-" Me: "I don't control the prices, I'm just a cashier:) Customer: "-making a fucking fuss over a damn drink and it's not even a large- Me: "That's not my decision, I'm just a cashier:) Customer:"-and you bet I won't be coming back here again Me: "How unfortunate :)" thekeybladeninja I can feel the) deep in my soul 74,441 notes Click to see full Sarcasm Goal 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes
Click, Fail, and Fucking: 22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away
 irrevocably-delicious
 Irrevocably-delicious
 @india draws
 Anyone who's worked in retail has
 probably participated in this thing I
 call "circle talk" and it is by far one
 the most exhausting and irritating
 parts of my job.
 12-05 PM Jan 19, 2019- Twitter Web App
 Circle talk is when a customer asks
 you a question, but when you answer
 it, they continue to stare at you
 blankly. So you repeat your answer
 over and over, slightly rephrasing it
 until it permeates their brain.
 "How big does this cactus grow?"
 "It'll get quite large, but it's very slow
 growing, so you won't see much of a
 difference until almost 10 years"
 "Oh my wife has one that's like half
 metre"
 "Yes that must be quite old"
 "So they can get that big?"
 "Yes but not for a long time"
 "about 10 years?"
 "YES"
 12:05 PM Jan 19, 2019 Twitter Web App
 he Cackes Grows slo
 Oh right& he Cockuss slow
 growino
 The Slow growing Cachs
 Small Cactsou
 will not grouw og quich
 Some retail complaints from twitter this
 morning. I don't think anyone can fully
 comprehend how stupid humans are until they
 work a retail or hospitality job.
 starfire003
 I'd like to add on the people who ask a question,
 get an answer they don't like and ask the same
 question in a different way to get the response
 they want.
 corisanna
 I get stuff like this often enough at work, but
 that last one? There is one customer we have
 that does that so frequently and for so long
 (personal record with me is goddamn FORTY
 MINUTES of trying to get the answer she
 wanted) that we call her Circle Lady when she
 isn't present.
 Then there are the ones who do this, fail, and
 try it again with the same employees the next
 day
 greatfay
 Me: "For the drink, it's [x amount])
 Customer: "I saw a sign that I get a free drink?"
 Me: "For signing up for our rewards program,
 yes:"
 Customer: "Oh... I don't have one of those
 Me: "Well if you sign up, you can get the free
 drink! :)
 Customer: "Eh don't want to sign up"
 Me: " "
 Customer: "I hate getting all those emails"
 Me: "Oh, well you can opt out of emails, I can
 show you how:)
 Customer: "No thanks, I don't want an
 account"
 Me: "Okay... well the drink will be [x amount]:
 Customer: "I thought it was free?"
 Me: ")"
 Me: "It's free if you sign up for our rewards
 program:)"
 Customer: "I don't want to sign up"
 Me: "Then the drink isn't free :)"
 Customer: "You can't just give me the drink?"
 Me: "No, I can't unfortunately:)
 Customer: "Why not? It's only [x amount]
 Me: "if that's not a lot of money to you, why
 don't you just pay for it? :
 Customer: "This is shit customer service"
 Me: ")"
 Customer: "This is highway robbery, squeezing
 every dime out of people, you should be
 ashamed of yourself-"
 Me: "I don't control the prices, I'm just a
 cashier:)
 Customer: "-making a fucking fuss over a
 damn drink and it's not even a large-
 Me: "That's not my decision, I'm just a
 cashier:)
 Customer:"-and you bet I won't be coming
 back here again
 Me: "How unfortunate :)"
 thekeybladeninja
 I can feel the) deep in my soul
 74,441 notes
 Click to see full
 Sarcasm Goal
22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes

22+ Tumblr Posts To Help You Laugh Your Troubles Away #funny #memes #tumblr #funnymemes

Target, Tumblr, and Work: Komoari komoari: Not my best work, but I really wanted to draw him :)
Target, Tumblr, and Work: Komoari
komoari:

Not my best work, but I really wanted to draw him :)

komoari: Not my best work, but I really wanted to draw him :)

Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name the biggest lie i ever told & how came to protect it my husband for years I have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter theyd get all defensive like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?! and then rd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter -it's now like I'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when im at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviousty couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes and if that isn't love then i don't know what is All because of Peanut M&Ms..
Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name
 the biggest lie i ever told & how
 came to protect it
 my husband
 for years I have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i
 hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but
 whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter theyd get all defensive
 like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?! and then rd have to go
 into this whole thing to defend my taste buds
 but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to
 peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter
 -it's now like I'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever
 in her life and everyone feels sad for me
 but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat
 peanut m&ms when im at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is
 my husband and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for
 someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviousty
 couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret
 and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and
 emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his
 pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you
 because i could see the pain in your eyes
 and if that isn't love then i don't know what is
All because of Peanut M&Ms..

All because of Peanut M

Future, Life, and Lol: rue-by-another-name the biggest lie iever told & how my husband came to protect it for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive lke "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me. but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes. and if that isn't love then i don't know what is. My future husband better love me this much lol
Future, Life, and Lol: rue-by-another-name
 the biggest lie iever told & how
 my husband came to protect it
 for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i
 hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but
 whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive
 lke "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go
 into this whole thing to defend my taste buds
 but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to
 peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter
 it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever
 in her life and everyone feels sad for me.
 but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat
 peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is
 my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for
 someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously
 couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret
 and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and
 emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his
 pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you
 because i could see the pain in your eyes.
 and if that isn't love then i don't know what is.
My future husband better love me this much lol

My future husband better love me this much lol

Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name the biggest lie iever told & how my husband came to protect it for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me. but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes. and if that isn't love then i don't know what is. All because of Peanut M&Ms..
Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name
 the biggest lie iever told & how
 my husband came to protect it
 for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i
 hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but
 whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive
 like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go
 into this whole thing to defend my taste buds
 but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to
 peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter
 it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever
 in her life and everyone feels sad for me.
 but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat
 peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is
 my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for
 someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously
 couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret
 and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and
 emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his
 pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you
 because i could see the pain in your eyes.
 and if that isn't love then i don't know what is.
All because of Peanut M&Ms..

All because of Peanut M

Future, Life, and Lol: rue-by-another-name the biggest lie iever told & how my husband came to protect it for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive lke "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me. but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes. and if that isn't love then i don't know what is. My future husband better love me this much lol
Future, Life, and Lol: rue-by-another-name
 the biggest lie iever told & how
 my husband came to protect it
 for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i
 hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but
 whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive
 lke "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go
 into this whole thing to defend my taste buds
 but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to
 peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter
 it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever
 in her life and everyone feels sad for me.
 but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat
 peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is
 my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for
 someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously
 couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret
 and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and
 emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his
 pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you
 because i could see the pain in your eyes.
 and if that isn't love then i don't know what is.
My future husband better love me this much lol

My future husband better love me this much lol

Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name the biggest lie iever told & how my husband came to protect it for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me. but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes. and if that isn't love then i don't know what is. All because of Peanut M&Ms..
Life, Love, and Smell: rue-by-another-name
 the biggest lie iever told & how
 my husband came to protect it
 for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i
 hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but
 whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive
 like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go
 into this whole thing to defend my taste buds
 but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to
 peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter
 it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever
 in her life and everyone feels sad for me.
 but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat
 peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is
 my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for
 someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously
 couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret
 and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and
 emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his
 pockets and he whispered, "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you
 because i could see the pain in your eyes.
 and if that isn't love then i don't know what is.
All because of Peanut M&Ms..

All because of Peanut M

Future, Life, and Lol: rue-by-another-name the biggest lie i ever told & how my husband came to protect it for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me. but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered. "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes. and if that isn't love then i don't know what is. My future husband better love me this much lol via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2zM1hD5
Future, Life, and Lol: rue-by-another-name
 the biggest lie i ever told & how
 my husband came to protect it
 for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i
 hate the smell of peanut butter and don't really like peanut butter that much but
 whenever i used to tell people i don't like peanut butter they'd get all defensive
 like "peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!" and then i'd have to go
 into this whole thing to defend my taste buds
 but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i'm just allergic to
 peanuts because that way it's not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter
 it's now like i'm a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever
 in her life and everyone feels sad for me.
 but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat
 peanut m&ms when i'm at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is
 my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for
 someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously
 couldn't eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret
 and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and
 emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his
 pockets and he whispered. "i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you
 because i could see the pain in your eyes.
 and if that isn't love then i don't know what is.
My future husband better love me this much lol via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2zM1hD5

My future husband better love me this much lol via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2zM1hD5