When You Have
When You Have

When You Have

Its
Its

Its

The
The

The

Sickness
Sickness

Sickness

And
And

And

No Pen
No Pen

No Pen

no food
 no food

no food

pen
 pen

pen

no
 no

no

lover
lover

lover

🔥 | Latest

No Children: WIZARU speedoweedo on a list of dumb shit i know: the grass in the original shrek movie is not grass. its hair. they used hair textures for the grass bc the actual grass for some reason in their computer modelling programs would not behave like grass so they used hair textures colored green. speedoweedo elvis presley was a registered DEA officer who asked nixon for the title and was awarded it. ndiecity What else? WIZARD speedoweedo the great escape artist houdini was living in a time period where mysticism, fortune telling, ouija boards, seances and etc were becoming very common place and trendy. and he fucking hated it so much. so much that he would go to seances in disguise and make some bullshit off the wall shit like "my son died last year can you let me talk to him" and the seance person would be like 'THIS IS YOUR SON HELLO FATHER then he'd rip off his disguise and be like YOU FRAUD I HAVE NO CHILDREN. He died on Halloween night in detroit and as far as i know every year they hold seances on halloween trying to get in contact with his spirit. If seances work i bet his ghost is just pissed off and not responding out of raw spite speedoweedo foxes cant snarl like dogs and wolves cus the muscles in their muzzle dont allowe it so they just drop their jaws and scream. simon-newman Brain: *An extremely obscure fact from the subject I never studied in my life* Me: How the f*ck do we know this? Brain: I don't know! Both: *Screaming* lolpics/AstroFunny I really like some of these.
No Children: WIZARU
 speedoweedo
 on a list of dumb shit i know:
 the grass in the original shrek movie is not
 grass. its hair. they used hair textures for
 the grass bc the actual grass for some
 reason in their computer modelling
 programs would not behave like grass so
 they used hair textures colored green.
 speedoweedo
 elvis presley was a registered DEA officer
 who asked nixon for the title and was
 awarded it.
 ndiecity
 What else?
 WIZARD
 speedoweedo
 the great escape artist houdini was living in
 a time period where mysticism, fortune
 telling, ouija boards, seances and etc were
 becoming very common place and trendy.
 and he fucking hated it so much. so much
 that he would go to seances in disguise
 and make some bullshit off the wall shit like
 "my son died last year can you let me talk
 to him" and the seance person would be
 like 'THIS IS YOUR SON HELLO FATHER
 then he'd rip off his disguise and be like
 YOU FRAUD I HAVE NO CHILDREN.
 He died on Halloween night in detroit and
 as far as i know every year they hold
 seances on halloween trying to get in
 contact with his spirit. If seances work i bet
 his ghost is just pissed off and not
 responding out of raw spite
 speedoweedo
 foxes cant snarl like dogs and wolves cus
 the muscles in their muzzle dont allowe it
 so they just drop their jaws and scream.
 simon-newman
 Brain: *An extremely obscure fact from the
 subject I never studied in my life*
 Me: How the f*ck do we know this?
 Brain: I don't know!
 Both: *Screaming*
 lolpics/AstroFunny
I really like some of these.

I really like some of these.

No Children: HAND IN UNLO VA BLE HAND mountainqoats:Homer and His Guide (detail) (1874), William-Adolphe Bouguereau / No Children, The Mountain Goats
No Children: HAND
 IN
 UNLO VA BLE
 HAND
mountainqoats:Homer and His Guide (detail) (1874), William-Adolphe Bouguereau / No Children, The Mountain Goats

mountainqoats:Homer and His Guide (detail) (1874), William-Adolphe Bouguereau / No Children, The Mountain Goats

No Children: St. Louis day care accused of running a toddler 'Fight Club' 😮😮😳 A day care center in St. Louis encouraged toddlers to viciously brawl with each other in a "fight club," according to a lawsuit from the mother of one of the children and video of the incident that was released Wednesday. Nicole Merseal said her then-4-year-old son, and another child were instructed by teachers Mikayla Guliford and Tena Dailey, to punch and hit each other at the Adventure Learning Center in December, 2016, according to the suit filed earlier this year. Merseal, of St. Charles, Missouri, accused the day care in court documents of permitting another child "to intimidate and harm" her son while directing a "fight club." The video shows Merseal’s youngest son and another boy wearing Incredible Hulk toy fists and punching each other while a teacher looks on. One of Merseal's sons recorded the episode on his iPad and sent it to her. She then called the police and had them visit the day care and interview the director and staff. Her children were also questioned by investigators. In documents released by the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services, Jennifer Scott, the director of the center, said that when she confronted Guliford about the incident, she said the children "were bored" and that "we ran out of things to do." Scott fired Guliford and Dailey and contacted the Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline, according to the health department. Guliford admitted to having the children fight, according to state documents. She said she took the children to the lower floor of the building because of a broken heating system on the other floors. "I meant for the fighting with the Hulk Hands to be a stress release exercise," she said. "It did not last more than three or four minutes." Guliford said no children were hurt in the incident but "it was still a bad judgment call on my part." But the St. Louis Circuit Attorney’s Office declined to prosecute the teachers.
No Children: St. Louis day care accused of running a toddler 'Fight Club' 😮😮😳 A day care center in St. Louis encouraged toddlers to viciously brawl with each other in a "fight club," according to a lawsuit from the mother of one of the children and video of the incident that was released Wednesday. Nicole Merseal said her then-4-year-old son, and another child were instructed by teachers Mikayla Guliford and Tena Dailey, to punch and hit each other at the Adventure Learning Center in December, 2016, according to the suit filed earlier this year. Merseal, of St. Charles, Missouri, accused the day care in court documents of permitting another child "to intimidate and harm" her son while directing a "fight club." The video shows Merseal’s youngest son and another boy wearing Incredible Hulk toy fists and punching each other while a teacher looks on. One of Merseal's sons recorded the episode on his iPad and sent it to her. She then called the police and had them visit the day care and interview the director and staff. Her children were also questioned by investigators. In documents released by the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services, Jennifer Scott, the director of the center, said that when she confronted Guliford about the incident, she said the children "were bored" and that "we ran out of things to do." Scott fired Guliford and Dailey and contacted the Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline, according to the health department. Guliford admitted to having the children fight, according to state documents. She said she took the children to the lower floor of the building because of a broken heating system on the other floors. "I meant for the fighting with the Hulk Hands to be a stress release exercise," she said. "It did not last more than three or four minutes." Guliford said no children were hurt in the incident but "it was still a bad judgment call on my part." But the St. Louis Circuit Attorney’s Office declined to prosecute the teachers.

St. Louis day care accused of running a toddler 'Fight Club' 😮😮😳 A day care center in St. Louis encouraged toddlers to viciously brawl wi...

No Children: <p><a href="https://shitpost-senpai.tumblr.com/post/171437310790/delta-echo-romeo-papa-kaldicuct" class="tumblr_blog">shitpost-senpai</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://delta-echo-romeo-papa.tumblr.com/post/171437016102/kaldicuct-the-jingle-birdy" class="tumblr_blog">delta-echo-romeo-papa</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://kaldicuct.tumblr.com/post/168472725851/the-jingle-birdy" class="tumblr_blog">kaldicuct</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://the-jingle-birdy.tumblr.com/post/168472184313/friendly-neighborhood-patriarch-lornagonigall" class="tumblr_blog">the-jingle-birdy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/168471936927/lornagonigall-focusdammit-fash-metal" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://lornagonigall.tumblr.com/post/168442646725/focusdammit-fash-metal-the-jingle-birdy" class="tumblr_blog">lornagonigall</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://focusdammit.tumblr.com/post/168415047993/fash-metal-the-jingle-birdy-fash-metal" class="tumblr_blog">focusdammit</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://fash-metal.tumblr.com/post/168408250933/the-jingle-birdy-fash-metal-tooiconic" class="tumblr_blog">fash-metal</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://the-jingle-birdy.tumblr.com/post/168407942963/fash-metal-tooiconic-jamcole" class="tumblr_blog">the-jingle-birdy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://fash-metal.tumblr.com/post/168407892748/tooiconic-jamcole-historicaltimes" class="tumblr_blog">fash-metal</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://tooiconic.tumblr.com/post/168407501646/jamcole-historicaltimes-mississippis-first" class="tumblr_blog">tooiconic</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://jamcole.tumblr.com/post/168367012603/historicaltimes-mississippis-first-interracial" class="tumblr_blog">jamcole</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://historicaltimes.tumblr.com/post/168357139717/mississippis-first-interracial-couple-august-3" class="tumblr_blog">historicaltimes</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Mississippi’s First Interracial Couple August 3, <a href="http://historicaltimes.tumblr.com/tagged/1970">1970</a></p> <p><small>via <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/HistoryPorn/comments/7ig0zj/mississippis_first_interracial_couple_august_3/">reddit</a></small></p> </blockquote> <p>R they still together, where they at? I need to know </p> </blockquote> <p>💕💕</p> </blockquote> <p>Hopefully they had no children </p> </blockquote> <p>Why you gotta be like that, man?</p> </blockquote> <p>The destruction of my people is not a thing to be taken lightly.</p> </blockquote> <p>Your people ain’t dying, I’ve seen at least a dozen morons today. </p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="464" data-orig-width="680"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fe814d17cad43e63b5053cfc2de0b6d3/tumblr_inline_p0thuzthu81taqeq8_500.jpg" data-orig-height="464" data-orig-width="680"/></figure></blockquote> <p>^^^^</p> </blockquote> <p>Hello 911 I just witnessed a murder</p> </blockquote> <p>That was a public execution.</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="250" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/372838ab77263608dfcbb693b9398154/tumblr_inline_p4y3f2eDyl1skck4q_540.gif" data-orig-height="250" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="350" data-orig-width="500"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f689006e72d482d0341bfe5f8a3d2498/tumblr_inline_p4y3wgepJI1s3cj0w_540.gif" data-orig-height="350" data-orig-width="500"/></figure></blockquote>
No Children: <p><a href="https://shitpost-senpai.tumblr.com/post/171437310790/delta-echo-romeo-papa-kaldicuct" class="tumblr_blog">shitpost-senpai</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://delta-echo-romeo-papa.tumblr.com/post/171437016102/kaldicuct-the-jingle-birdy" class="tumblr_blog">delta-echo-romeo-papa</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://kaldicuct.tumblr.com/post/168472725851/the-jingle-birdy" class="tumblr_blog">kaldicuct</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://the-jingle-birdy.tumblr.com/post/168472184313/friendly-neighborhood-patriarch-lornagonigall" class="tumblr_blog">the-jingle-birdy</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/168471936927/lornagonigall-focusdammit-fash-metal" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://lornagonigall.tumblr.com/post/168442646725/focusdammit-fash-metal-the-jingle-birdy" class="tumblr_blog">lornagonigall</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://focusdammit.tumblr.com/post/168415047993/fash-metal-the-jingle-birdy-fash-metal" class="tumblr_blog">focusdammit</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://fash-metal.tumblr.com/post/168408250933/the-jingle-birdy-fash-metal-tooiconic" class="tumblr_blog">fash-metal</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://the-jingle-birdy.tumblr.com/post/168407942963/fash-metal-tooiconic-jamcole" class="tumblr_blog">the-jingle-birdy</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://fash-metal.tumblr.com/post/168407892748/tooiconic-jamcole-historicaltimes" class="tumblr_blog">fash-metal</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://tooiconic.tumblr.com/post/168407501646/jamcole-historicaltimes-mississippis-first" class="tumblr_blog">tooiconic</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://jamcole.tumblr.com/post/168367012603/historicaltimes-mississippis-first-interracial" class="tumblr_blog">jamcole</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://historicaltimes.tumblr.com/post/168357139717/mississippis-first-interracial-couple-august-3" class="tumblr_blog">historicaltimes</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Mississippi’s First Interracial Couple August 3, <a href="http://historicaltimes.tumblr.com/tagged/1970">1970</a></p> <p><small>via <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/HistoryPorn/comments/7ig0zj/mississippis_first_interracial_couple_august_3/">reddit</a></small></p>
</blockquote>

<p>R they still together, where they at? I need to know </p>
</blockquote>

<p>💕💕</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Hopefully they had no children </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Why you gotta be like that, man?</p>
</blockquote>

<p>The destruction of my people is not a thing to be taken lightly.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Your people ain’t dying, I’ve seen at least a dozen morons today. </p>
</blockquote>

<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="464" data-orig-width="680"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fe814d17cad43e63b5053cfc2de0b6d3/tumblr_inline_p0thuzthu81taqeq8_500.jpg" data-orig-height="464" data-orig-width="680"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>^^^^</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Hello 911 I just witnessed a murder</p>
</blockquote>
<p>That was a public execution.</p>
</blockquote>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="250" data-orig-width="540"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/372838ab77263608dfcbb693b9398154/tumblr_inline_p4y3f2eDyl1skck4q_540.gif" data-orig-height="250" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="350" data-orig-width="500"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f689006e72d482d0341bfe5f8a3d2498/tumblr_inline_p4y3wgepJI1s3cj0w_540.gif" data-orig-height="350" data-orig-width="500"/></figure></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://shitpost-senpai.tumblr.com/post/171437310790/delta-echo-romeo-papa-kaldicuct" class="tumblr_blog">shitpost-senpai</a>...

No Children: speedoweedo speedoweedo speedoweedo speedoweedo ndiecity speedoweedo speedoweedo on a list of dumb shit i know: o the grass in the original shrek movie is not grass. its hair. they used hair textures for the grass bc the actual grass for some reason in their computer modelling programs would not behave like grass so they used hair textures colored green o elvis presley was a registered DEA officer who asked nixon for the title and was awarded it. What else? o the great escape artist houdini was living in a time period where mysticism, fortune telling, ouija boards, seances and etc were becoming very common place and trendy. and he fucking hated it so much. so much that he would go to seances in disguise and make some bullshit off the wall shit like "my son died last vear can you let me talk to him and the seance person would be like THIS IS YOUR SON HELLO FATHER' then he'd rip off his disguise and be like YOU FRAUD I HAVE NO CHILDREN o He died on Halloween night in detroit and as far as i know every year they hold seances on halloween trying to get in contact with his spirit. If seances work i bet his ghost is just pissed off and not responding out of raw spite o foxes cant snarl like dogs and wolves cus the muscles in their muzzle dont allowe it so they just drop their jaws and scream. o if you were to eat the liver of a polar bear you would succumb to vitamin A poisoning o Graham crackers started off as anti masturbatory aids, Coca-Cola was intended to be a medicine o Mr. John Harvey Kellogg invented corn flakes as a measure to stave off masturbation and was huge into the anti-masturbatory movement, which he believed caused health problems o also in the same vein as houdini shit: he commissioned H.P. Lovecraft to write a piece discrediting mysticism and it fucking exists. He, the fantastic magician, commissioned the fuckn horror fantasy writer to dunk on mysticism. I cannot get over this for any span of time it comes back to slap me each day o also HP Lovecraft was deathly afraid of fish, and was a self-described ichthyophobe A treasure trove of trivia
No Children: speedoweedo
 speedoweedo
 speedoweedo
 speedoweedo
 ndiecity
 speedoweedo
 speedoweedo
 on a list of dumb shit i know:
 o the grass in the original shrek movie is not grass. its
 hair. they used hair textures for the grass bc the actual
 grass for some reason in their computer modelling
 programs would not behave like grass so they used hair
 textures colored green
 o elvis presley was a registered DEA officer who asked
 nixon for the title and was awarded it.
 What else?
 o the great escape artist houdini was living in a time period where
 mysticism, fortune telling, ouija boards, seances and etc were
 becoming very common place and trendy. and he fucking hated it
 so much. so much that he would go to seances in disguise and
 make some bullshit off the wall shit like "my son died last vear
 can you let me talk to him and the seance person would be
 like THIS IS YOUR SON HELLO FATHER' then he'd rip off his
 disguise and be like YOU FRAUD I HAVE NO CHILDREN
 o He died on Halloween night in detroit and as far as i know every
 year they hold seances on halloween trying to get in contact with
 his spirit. If seances work i bet his ghost is just pissed off and not
 responding out of raw spite
 o foxes cant snarl like dogs and wolves cus the muscles in their
 muzzle dont allowe it so they just drop their jaws and scream.
 o if you were to eat the liver of a polar bear you would succumb to
 vitamin A poisoning
 o Graham crackers started off as anti masturbatory aids, Coca-Cola was
 intended to be a medicine
 o Mr. John Harvey Kellogg invented corn flakes as a measure to stave off
 masturbation and was huge into the anti-masturbatory movement, which
 he believed caused health problems
 o also in the same vein as houdini shit: he commissioned H.P. Lovecraft to
 write a piece discrediting mysticism and it fucking exists. He, the fantastic
 magician, commissioned the fuckn horror fantasy writer to dunk on
 mysticism. I cannot get over this for any span of time it comes back to slap
 me each day
 o also HP Lovecraft was deathly afraid of fish, and was a self-described
 ichthyophobe
A treasure trove of trivia

A treasure trove of trivia

No Children: This Guy Noticed a Homeless Man With His D For Them Had Me In Tears og Asking For Food. What He Did Last week I was having breakfast at Chik-fil-a and as I was sitting in my truck eating I noticed a homeless guy sitting on the curb behind the building with his dog He was holding a sign asking for money or food donations to help feed him and his dog (did not look like a druggy or alchy just an older man down on his luck). I observed him the entire time I ate my breakfast, he mostly just sat there scratching his mutt and holding the sign while people drove past ignoring them When I finished my breakfast I decided to make another run through the drive-through and ordered a large chicken biscuit combo As I was leaving I pulled up along side him and handed him the bag of breakfast and a small bag of dog food I had in my truck for when I bring my dog to work. The bag of Chick-fil-a put a huge smile on his face but when I handed him the bag of dog food the guy literally lost it and started bawling right there on the side of my truck. After regaining his composure he exclaimed that it had been so long since somebody had treated him like a human being. I asked him if he would be willing to work hard for a decent days pay and he immediately straightened up and exclaimed that he could be the hardest worker I had ever seen. I gave him my business card and a fiver and told him to meet me at that spot the next morning and I would put him to work. The next day I stopped in and sure enough he was waiting there for me, I took him & his dog to the jobsite. He wasn't kidding about being a hard worker this guy carried wood around and fetched tools out of my truck for me all day without complaining once, his dog just shadowed him the entire time. During the day I learned about how he had lost his wife in a car accident, had his home that he had lived in for 35 years repossessed by the bank, had no children or family, was staying at a KOA campground and had a bunch of his life possessions stolen, had been spit on by strangers while begging for money and had all but given up on the human race as a whole. At the end of the day I took him to my bank and withdrew his days pay which amounted to $80. The look on his face was well worth it. My random act of kindness seemed to put a spark back in his eye and I continued to pick him up the rest of the week in the same spot and paying him at the end of each day Yesterday when I dropped him off he asked me to take him to a different spot, near the KOA. He explained with the money I payed him he was going to be able to afford camping provisions for the next couple of months and told me how much it meant to him and his dog to not have to sleep outside on the cold ground When I left him last night he looked like a different person then the man I saw hanging his head in shame behind Chik-fil-a. He promised me he would be there for me next week if I needed him and although my job-site is going to be on the other side of town next week I have already decided to continue going out of my way to pick him up and put him to work Feels good man <p>Homeless Man And His Dog.</p>
No Children: This Guy Noticed a Homeless Man With
 His D
 For Them Had Me In Tears
 og Asking For Food. What He Did
 Last week I was having breakfast at
 Chik-fil-a and as I was sitting in my truck
 eating I noticed a homeless guy sitting on
 the curb behind the building with his dog
 He was holding a sign asking for money or
 food donations to help feed him and his
 dog (did not look like a druggy or alchy
 just an older man down on his luck). I
 observed him the entire time I ate my
 breakfast, he mostly just sat there
 scratching his mutt and holding the sign
 while people drove past ignoring them
 When I finished my breakfast I decided to
 make another run through the drive-through
 and ordered a large chicken biscuit combo
 As I was leaving I pulled up along side him
 and handed him the bag of breakfast and
 a small bag of dog food I had in my truck
 for when I bring my dog to work. The bag
 of Chick-fil-a put a huge smile on his face
 but when I handed him the bag of dog
 food the guy literally lost it and started
 bawling right there on the side of my
 truck. After regaining his composure he
 exclaimed that it had been so long since
 somebody had treated him like a human
 being. I asked him if he would be willing to
 work hard for a decent days pay and he
 immediately straightened up and
 exclaimed that he could be the hardest
 worker I had ever seen. I gave him my
 business card and a fiver and told him to
 meet me at that spot the next morning
 and I would put him to work.
 The next day I stopped in and sure enough
 he was waiting there for me, I took him &
 his dog to the jobsite. He wasn't kidding
 about being a hard worker this guy carried
 wood around and fetched tools out of my
 truck for me all day without complaining
 once, his dog just shadowed him the
 entire time. During the day I learned about
 how he had lost his wife in a car accident,
 had his home that he had lived in for 35
 years repossessed by the bank, had no
 children or family, was staying at a KOA
 campground and had a bunch of his life
 possessions stolen, had been spit on by
 strangers while begging for money and
 had all but given up on the human race as
 a whole. At the end of the day I took him
 to my bank and withdrew his days pay
 which amounted to $80. The look on his
 face was well worth it. My random act of
 kindness seemed to put a spark back in his
 eye and I continued to pick him up the rest
 of the week in the same spot and paying
 him at the end of each day
 Yesterday when I dropped him off he
 asked me to take him to a different spot,
 near the KOA. He explained with the
 money I payed him he was going to be
 able to afford camping provisions for the
 next couple of months and told me how
 much it meant to him and his dog to not
 have to sleep outside on the cold ground
 When I left him last night he looked like a
 different person then the man I saw
 hanging his head in shame behind
 Chik-fil-a. He promised me he would be
 there for me next week if I needed him
 and although my job-site is going to be on
 the other side of town next week I have
 already decided to continue going out of
 my way to pick him up and put him to
 work
 Feels good man
<p>Homeless Man And His Dog.</p>

<p>Homeless Man And His Dog.</p>

No Children: HARRY POTTER pumpkins leered from every corner. Harry led the Dean and Seamus, who were discussing those students of seventeen or over who might be entering There's a rumour going round, Warrington got up eaty au put his name in,' Dean told Harry. That big bloke f Hogwa Slytherin who looks like a sloth.' Harry, who had played Quidditch against Warrington,she his head in disgust. We can't have a Slytherin champion! 'And all the Hufflepuffs are talking about Diggory,s eamus contemptuously. But I wouldn't have thought he bait1598: sprout2012: madoneworld: parseltonquinq: peaceheather: blueboxbellethethird: prismatic-bell: cinematicnomad: aplatonicjacuzzi: crazybutperfectlysane: So I was rereading Harry Potter, when I came across this and thought- what if instead of Cedric Diggory, Cassius Warrington had been chosen to compete in the Triwizard Tournament? Imagine Dumbledore calling out the name of the Hogwarts champion and it isn’t a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but it’s a Slytherin. A student from a House most people hate. Imagine Cassius Warrington getting up, and three out of four Houses are booing at him and shouting things like “NO!” or, “We can’t have a Slytherin champion!” or demanding a retry. But he’s a Slytherin- he’s been dealing with this shit since he got sorted, so he keeps his head high and joins the other champions. Imagine Harry trying to catch Warrington alone because he doesn’t really want to associate with Slytherins (plus Malfoy has this tendency of being around the guy ALL THE TIME since he got chosen), but at the same time he’s also fair enough not to want him to walk into the first task unprepared. Imagine Warrington walking over to Harry a few months later, and Ron and Hermione both jump into a protective stance, wands out, but instead of attacking Harry he just tells him to stick the egg underwater. (Because Slytherins don’t forget those who helped them out). Imagine Warrington and Harry helping each other out in the labyrinth. Imagine Harry being devastated when Peter kills Warrington- because Voldemort doesn’t care what house they’re form, a spare is a spare. Imagine the uproar that causes among the Slytherins, because some of their parents really are Death Eaters and they know what really happened. Imagine Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts and shouting “This is for Cassius!” Imagine Harry returning with Warrington’s body, and the crowd realizes what’s happened, but Warrington’s parents don’t show up. There’s no one to mourn him, to cradle him in their arms and cry for their son. The Slytherins know why. His parents were Death Eaters, too. Imagine Slytherins reaching out, asking for help from classmates from other houses. They’re terrified, truly terrified because the being their parents claimed would never hurt them because they’re pureblood, they realize that he does not care. Imagine Slytherins in the 5th book sneaking off to join Dumbledore’s Army, to learn more about who Voldemort is without their parents acting as a filter.  Imagine the shock when they’re told what he’s really done. Imagine that a few talented Slytherins went with Harry and the others into the Ministry of Magic. The others are a bit wary but they prove themselves as friends. Imagine them being confronted by Lucius Malfoy in the the Hall of Prophecy, and when the Death Eaters descend, they know that any one of them could be their parents. Imagine the shocked gasp of a Death Eater as they realize their own child, a pureblood, is standing defiantly with Harry Potter. They choke back a cry. They can’t let their child know that they were about to duel to the death. Imagine a DA Slytherin facing off against their own Death Eater parent. That they make the decision to let their child defeat them, because in that moment, they realize that they love their child more than they fear Voldemort. They go down, mask unveiled, and the Slytherin kid has to be dragged from the fight before he gets killed. Imagine Book 6 Slytherins getting more friendly and cooperative with the other houses. Two years of Voldemort terrorizing the muggle and Wizarding world, two years where their parents just up and leave some days, cringing from the pain in their arm, two years after the death of the first Slytherin pureblood, Cassius Warrington, killed by Voldemort’s right-hand man, and they’re slowly hitting the breaking point. Imagine Slytherin kids keeping tabs on their parents, sending the information to Harry, who shares it with the Order of the Phoenix, and hoping that their parents won’t be killed. Imagine Book 7 Slytherins low-key rebelling against the new oppressive Hogwarts staff. Imagine the final siege on Hogwarts, where Slytherins stand proudly by their fellow houses, knowing full-well they could be fighting their own parents. Some Slytherins know their parents were in the fighting. They hope to find them first and sneak them away. Their fellow students understand. Professor McGonagall allows 7th Year Slytherin, Pansy Parkinson, to duel a death eater in her stead; her father is under that veil. She knows it. Imagine the aftermath of the battle; every house suffered loses. Slytherin students crying over the deaths of friends they made in every house. Imagine a Cassius Warrington statue made in his honor, the first Slytherin to fight and die nobly with Harry Potter, the boy who lived, in the face of ultimate evil. He was a true Slytherin, and it’s in his name that Slytherin children and their families have cut all ties with the Death Eaters, denounced Voldemort, and are finally living in peace. #i do enjoy cedric #but this would have been immensely wonderful in many ways (via batty4u) Imagine a story in which Harry wasn’t in love with his fellow champion’s girlfriend, but after her boyfriend’s death just hugs her so long, so hard, and says “he wanted to win for you. You should know–you should know he won, he did it for you” and gives her the best hug and shoulder he knows how to be because her parents aren’t there either and she must know why. Imagine Harry staring over her head at everyone else until Hermione steps up–it doesn’t take long, but it takes long enough that when she does all eyes are on her as a source of motion–and says “we’re never going to forget this. They’re not going to get away with it” and the girlfriend just latches onto Hermione and everyone is in wands-out stance convinced she’s about to attack the shit out of Hermione, and then the girlfriend stares into her eyes and says “do you promise me” and Hermione just gives her this super-firm nod and says “I promise” and the girlfriend just collapses on her, sobbing.  Imagine Dumbledore trying to give some flowery speech about inter-wizard solidarity while glossing over why, because Slytherins have always been a touchy subject, and Ron gets to his feet and says “Professor, I need to say something important” and Dumbledore is so surprised he just cedes the floor, and Ron–after that awkward moment when he realizes everyone is staring at him–says he didn’t know Warrington particularly, but he knows how Warrington and Harry played. That each was always cheering on the other. Both wanted to win, but neither was willing to undercut the other by underhanded means. He finishes up saying “I think–I think it’s important everyone should know he died being what a champion should be. Because he could have abandoned Harry and instead he stood up with him to play the game the honest way, and he died for it. And–and Slytherin House should be proud, and we should all be proud, because Warrington was a good bloke.” He sits back down all flustered because he didn’t actually stand up meaning to make a speech. And then Pansy Parkinson stands up before Dumbledore can take back control of the room and says “I want to tell Weasley thank you.” And all of Slytherin House raises a glass–to Warrington, to Weasley, to Potter–and the other houses follow suit. Many years later, Wizarding scholars will say that was the moment Voldemort truly lost. Imagine later that summer. Harry gets several owls on his birthday, all unsigned. The birds are plump and pretentious and well-cared-for. He will never know which Slytherins sent him their treasures: parchments with hexes developed by the Death Eaters; a strange locket that will only open if he whispers a special spell but that always shows him the picture he most needs to see; a page torn from a potions book that, brewed properly, will allow him extra time to summon a Patronus by giving him a few crucial seconds not just of happiness but of bliss. It doesn’t matter. Harry knows these gifts not as birthday gifts but for what they really are, and he treasures the locket and copies out the potion to send to Hermione and Mrs. Weasley, and when first summoned by the Order of the Phoenix he marches straight up to Dumbledore with the hexes and says “I can’t tell you where I got these, Professor. But they’re in use by the Death Eaters and I think you should have them.” Months later, Sirius will recognize the spell Bellatrix shoots at him, and will dive out of the way just in the nick of time. The final battle. Everyone is there. Sirius somehow ends up herding a group of Slytherins. They all stare at him and he at them, across a centuries-old divide Voldemort has only succeeded in deepening. Then he remembers the hexes. Harry’s locket, now tucked under Sirius’ shirt because Harry’s friends are with him in this battle but most of Sirius’ are dead. The moment that happiness potion saved Remus’ life, his very soul. Snape’s final words to Harry, finally seen not as mockery but real true advice. What Harry said Voldemort said–his first words in his new form. They are kids, and they are sharing the same kind of hurt he once wouldn’t admit to, watching his mother burn his name off the family tree. “When we go in there, it’s going to be hell,” he tells the Slytherins. “Some of you are probably going to die. I might go down too, and if I do I want your best curser in the front. But I want you all to remember one thing. There are no spares.”  Later retellings of the battle never fail to mention the moment a group of angry, screaming teens burst into the Great Hall, wearing their green and silver as the badge of honor it should be, shouting NO SPARES, NO SPARES at the tops of their voices in between hexes and curses and the occasional physical punch. When Hermione is present, she always interrupts the storyteller to be sure everyone knows about the moment Blaise Zabini shoved her to the floor, dropped on top of her, fired off three curses in rapid succession and said “stay alive, Granger, we need you” before jumping back to his feet and vanishing into the melee–how, for all anyone knows, those may have been his last words, and she will not let his sacrifice go unnoted.  The aftermath. Malfoy holds out a hand to Sirius, badly injured on the floor. Sirius asks how Malfoy is willing to trust him. Malfoy nods at his chest. “You’ve got my godfather’s locket,” he says, and when Sirius and Harry finally speak after the battle Harry gives his full agreement to the very first thing out of  Sirius’ mouth. They give the locket to Malfoy. Sirius grits his teeth and closes his eyes and opens them and says “He probably saved my life, giving Harry that.” He doesn’t say thank you. Malfoy hears it anyway. The school reopens under a single banner: the four Houses united. The House rivalry is reduced to just that–a competition in fun–with those deep divides slowly healing to scars, and eventually away to nothing at all. Imagine it. When we stand, we stand united as one And then there would be no hope for any uprising of evil, no users of the dark arts would dare to attack. There would be no neglected Slytherins turning to a darker cause. The unity Cassius Warrington’s death caused would come to save the world, time and time again, as would-be-Voldemorts find no followers. No children will ever have to fight their parents, or family. There would always be peace.  oh christ somebody added to it and now i’m a soggy emotional wreck I’m crying because this is what slytherins should have been and truly are This is beautifully written and I wish it was in the books xx This is such a fantastic read. A Slytherin triwizard champion sounds awesome. Best Harry Potter post
No Children: HARRY POTTER
 pumpkins leered from every corner. Harry led the
 Dean and Seamus, who were discussing those
 students of seventeen or over who might be entering
 There's a rumour going round, Warrington got up eaty au
 put his name in,' Dean told Harry. That big bloke f
 Hogwa
 Slytherin who looks like a sloth.'
 Harry, who had played Quidditch against Warrington,she
 his head in disgust. We can't have a Slytherin champion!
 'And all the Hufflepuffs are talking about Diggory,s
 eamus contemptuously. But I wouldn't have thought he
bait1598:
sprout2012:

madoneworld:

parseltonquinq:

peaceheather:

blueboxbellethethird:

prismatic-bell:

cinematicnomad:

aplatonicjacuzzi:

crazybutperfectlysane:

So I was rereading Harry Potter, when I came across this and thought- what if instead of Cedric Diggory, Cassius Warrington had been chosen to compete in the Triwizard Tournament?
Imagine Dumbledore calling out the name of the Hogwarts champion and it isn’t a Gryffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but it’s a Slytherin. A student from a House most people hate.
Imagine Cassius Warrington getting up, and three out of four Houses are booing at him and shouting things like “NO!” or, “We can’t have a Slytherin champion!” or demanding a retry. But he’s a Slytherin- he’s been dealing with this shit since he got sorted, so he keeps his head high and joins the other champions.
Imagine Harry trying to catch Warrington alone because he doesn’t really want to associate with Slytherins (plus Malfoy has this tendency of being around the guy ALL THE TIME since he got chosen), but at the same time he’s also fair enough not to want him to walk into the first task unprepared.
Imagine Warrington walking over to Harry a few months later, and Ron and Hermione both jump into a protective stance, wands out, but instead of attacking Harry he just tells him to stick the egg underwater. (Because Slytherins don’t forget those who helped them out).
Imagine Warrington and Harry helping each other out in the labyrinth.
Imagine Harry being devastated when Peter kills Warrington- because Voldemort doesn’t care what house they’re form, a spare is a spare.
Imagine the uproar that causes among the Slytherins, because some of their parents really are Death Eaters and they know what really happened.
Imagine Slytherins fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts and shouting “This is for Cassius!”

Imagine Harry returning with Warrington’s body, and the crowd realizes what’s happened, but Warrington’s parents don’t show up. There’s no one to mourn him, to cradle him in their arms and cry for their son. The Slytherins know why. His parents were Death Eaters, too.
Imagine Slytherins reaching out, asking for help from classmates from other houses. They’re terrified, truly terrified because the being their parents claimed would never hurt them because they’re pureblood, they realize that he does not care.
Imagine Slytherins in the 5th book sneaking off to join Dumbledore’s Army, to learn more about who Voldemort is without their parents acting as a filter. 
Imagine the shock when they’re told what he’s really done.
Imagine that a few talented Slytherins went with Harry and the others into the Ministry of Magic. The others are a bit wary but they prove themselves as friends.
Imagine them being confronted by Lucius Malfoy in the the Hall of Prophecy, and when the Death Eaters descend, they know that any one of them could be their parents.
Imagine the shocked gasp of a Death Eater as they realize their own child, a pureblood, is standing defiantly with Harry Potter. They choke back a cry. They can’t let their child know that they were about to duel to the death.
Imagine a DA Slytherin facing off against their own Death Eater parent. That they make the decision to let their child defeat them, because in that moment, they realize that they love their child more than they fear Voldemort. They go down, mask unveiled, and the Slytherin kid has to be dragged from the fight before he gets killed.
Imagine Book 6 Slytherins getting more friendly and cooperative with the other houses. Two years of Voldemort terrorizing the muggle and Wizarding world, two years where their parents just up and leave some days, cringing from the pain in their arm, two years after the death of the first Slytherin pureblood, Cassius Warrington, killed by Voldemort’s right-hand man, and they’re slowly hitting the breaking point.
Imagine Slytherin kids keeping tabs on their parents, sending the information to Harry, who shares it with the Order of the Phoenix, and hoping that their parents won’t be killed.
Imagine Book 7 Slytherins low-key rebelling against the new oppressive Hogwarts staff.
Imagine the final siege on Hogwarts, where Slytherins stand proudly by their fellow houses, knowing full-well they could be fighting their own parents. Some Slytherins know their parents were in the fighting. They hope to find them first and sneak them away. Their fellow students understand. Professor McGonagall allows 7th Year Slytherin, Pansy Parkinson, to duel a death eater in her stead; her father is under that veil. She knows it.
Imagine the aftermath of the battle; every house suffered loses. Slytherin students crying over the deaths of friends they made in every house.
Imagine 

 a Cassius Warrington statue made in his honor, the first Slytherin to fight and die nobly with Harry Potter, the boy who lived, in the face of ultimate evil. He was a true Slytherin, and it’s in his name that Slytherin children and their families have cut all ties with the Death Eaters, denounced Voldemort, and are finally living in peace.

#i do enjoy cedric #but this would have been immensely wonderful in many ways (via batty4u) 

Imagine a story in which Harry wasn’t in love with his fellow champion’s girlfriend, but after her boyfriend’s death just hugs her so long, so hard, and says “he wanted to win for you. You should know–you should know he won, he did it for you” and gives her the best hug and shoulder he knows how to be because her parents aren’t there either and she must know why.

Imagine Harry staring over her head at everyone else until Hermione steps up–it doesn’t take long, but it takes long enough that when she does all eyes are on her as a source of motion–and says “we’re never going to forget this. They’re not going to get away with it” and the girlfriend just latches onto Hermione and everyone is in wands-out stance convinced she’s about to attack the shit out of Hermione, and then the girlfriend stares into her eyes and says “do you promise me” and Hermione just gives her this super-firm nod and says “I promise” and the girlfriend just collapses on her, sobbing. 

Imagine Dumbledore trying to give some flowery speech about inter-wizard solidarity while glossing over why, because Slytherins have always been a touchy subject, and Ron gets to his feet and says “Professor, I need to say something important” and Dumbledore is so surprised he just cedes the floor, and Ron–after that awkward moment when he realizes everyone is staring at him–says he didn’t know Warrington particularly, but he knows how Warrington and Harry played. That each was always cheering on the other. Both wanted to win, but neither was willing to undercut the other by underhanded means. He finishes up saying “I think–I think it’s important everyone should know he died being what a champion should be. Because he could have abandoned Harry and instead he stood up with him to play the game the honest way, and he died for it. And–and Slytherin House should be proud, and we should all be proud, because Warrington was a good bloke.” He sits back down all flustered because he didn’t actually stand up meaning to make a speech. And then Pansy Parkinson stands up before Dumbledore can take back control of the room and says “I want to tell Weasley thank you.” And all of Slytherin House raises a glass–to Warrington, to Weasley, to Potter–and the other houses follow suit. Many years later, Wizarding scholars will say that was the moment Voldemort truly lost.

Imagine later that summer. Harry gets several owls on his birthday, all unsigned. The birds are plump and pretentious and well-cared-for. He will never know which Slytherins sent him their treasures: parchments with hexes developed by the Death Eaters; a strange locket that will only open if he whispers a special spell but that always shows him the picture he most needs to see; a page torn from a potions book that, brewed properly, will allow him extra time to summon a Patronus by giving him a few crucial seconds not just of happiness but of bliss. It doesn’t matter. Harry knows these gifts not as birthday gifts but for what they really are, and he treasures the locket and copies out the potion to send to Hermione and Mrs. Weasley, and when first summoned by the Order of the Phoenix he marches straight up to Dumbledore with the hexes and says “I can’t tell you where I got these, Professor. But they’re in use by the Death Eaters and I think you should have them.” Months later, Sirius will recognize the spell Bellatrix shoots at him, and will dive out of the way just in the nick of time.

The final battle. Everyone is there. Sirius somehow ends up herding a group of Slytherins. They all stare at him and he at them, across a centuries-old divide Voldemort has only succeeded in deepening. Then he remembers the hexes. Harry’s locket, now tucked under Sirius’ shirt because Harry’s friends are with him in this battle but most of Sirius’ are dead. The moment that happiness potion saved Remus’ life, his very soul. Snape’s final words to Harry, finally seen not as mockery but real true advice. What Harry said Voldemort said–his first words in his new form. They are kids, and they are sharing the same kind of hurt he once wouldn’t admit to, watching his mother burn his name off the family tree. “When we go in there, it’s going to be hell,” he tells the Slytherins. “Some of you are probably going to die. I might go down too, and if I do I want your best curser in the front. But I want you all to remember one thing. There are no spares.”  Later retellings of the battle never fail to mention the moment a group of angry, screaming teens burst into the Great Hall, wearing their green and silver as the badge of honor it should be, shouting NO SPARES, NO SPARES at the tops of their voices in between hexes and curses and the occasional physical punch. When Hermione is present, she always interrupts the storyteller to be sure everyone knows about the moment Blaise Zabini shoved her to the floor, dropped on top of her, fired off three curses in rapid succession and said “stay alive, Granger, we need you” before jumping back to his feet and vanishing into the melee–how, for all anyone knows, those may have been his last words, and she will not let his sacrifice go unnoted. 

The aftermath. Malfoy holds out a hand to Sirius, badly injured on the floor. Sirius asks how Malfoy is willing to trust him. Malfoy nods at his chest. “You’ve got my godfather’s locket,” he says, and when Sirius and Harry finally speak after the battle Harry gives his full agreement to the very first thing out of  Sirius’ mouth. They give the locket to Malfoy. Sirius grits his teeth and closes his eyes and opens them and says “He probably saved my life, giving Harry that.” He doesn’t say thank you. Malfoy hears it anyway. 

The school reopens under a single banner: the four Houses united. The House rivalry is reduced to just that–a competition in fun–with those deep divides slowly healing to scars, and eventually away to nothing at all.

Imagine it.
When we stand, we stand united as one

And then there would be no hope for any uprising of evil, no users of the dark arts would dare to attack. There would be no neglected Slytherins turning to a darker cause. The unity Cassius Warrington’s death caused would come to save the world, time and time again, as would-be-Voldemorts find no followers. No children will ever have to fight their parents, or family. There would always be peace. 

oh christ somebody added to it and now i’m a soggy emotional wreck

I’m crying because this is what slytherins should have been and truly are

This is beautifully written and I wish it was in the books xx


This is such a fantastic read. A Slytherin triwizard champion sounds awesome.  

Best Harry Potter post

bait1598: sprout2012: madoneworld: parseltonquinq: peaceheather: blueboxbellethethird: prismatic-bell: cinematicnomad: aplatonicja...