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Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish?
 i wanna die so bad right now
 -waaaaay too tall
 -blood is 3% soda
 -literally murders innocents and is still
 widely considered a "smol bean"
 -good relationship with their mom
 -hobbies range from making origami to
 plotting to blow up the moon
 -really their height is just unreasonable
 and very intimidating
 i heard you've been saying some shit
 grandparents live in korea
 -little ball of anger
 -uses napalm as moisturiser
 -no one is sure if they're actually
 racist or not
 thinks they can speak german
 -lists "kicking inanimate objects"
 as a hobby
 got sold fake cocaine once
 about me on your blog
 -damaged
 -iterally no one can bring themselves to like
 -communicates only in grunts
 -writes terrible fiction
 -goes out of their way to upset others
 -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing)
 -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish
 -leaves agressive voicemails
 -used to be emo
 -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects
 -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos
 -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them
 way too many Ns
 little miss finland
 turns to camera in shock ADAM
 supreme gentleman
 -absolutely deplorable
 shoves an american flag up their ass
 most mornings
 takes selfies everywhere
 -everywhere i said
 loves their pets
 -finds depressive thinking arousing
 horrible handwriting
 tries. fails.
 -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay
 -uses air quotes to patronise others
 -"feminism is stupid"
 -can't get laid
 -has probably had lip injections. and ego
 injections.
 "why do girls always go for douchebags"
 -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in
 december. after the last star in the galaxy
 has burned out.
 mad at them
 -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D.
 -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7
 -says weird shit 97% of the time
 -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans
 -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid"
 will not get a haircut
 hasn't slept ever
 do have a frighteningly intense
 56
 brennan's burger bundies
 gets what they want because they are-worships satan
 -known as the zodiac killer
 -takes off their glasses and becomes
 ets
 morbid sense of humour that
 occasionally gets them in trouble
 wants to have you (over) for dinner
 behaves drunk while sober and also
 while drunk.
 -vastly overestimates their ability to get
 away with things
 -does absolutely nothing in a group
 project and no one gets mad
 -dog person
 -has brushed their teeth less than 7
 times since birth
 probably borrowed their cheekbones
 off a meth addict
 -greasy grease on top of their grease
jeffreysdrunk:

luvoxxx:

Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the  d a m a g e d  thing from another tag yourself I apologise)

I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol

Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam

jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought...

Being Alone, Club, and cnn.com: Strange Fruit. @LaEtchi If I'm "cockblocking" my friend it's because she wants me to do it, trust me lol 09/04/2014 13:55 alloutofreeds: im-not-trash-im-recyclable: blazeblastomega: gordoananke: ohhmelancholy: misunderst00ds0ul: joybeeeez: guys never realize that.  Why play games though? Just come out and say no, don’t seem to hard. cause the word “no” is not in ya’ll vocabulary. A woman says no, I don’t want to go to prom with you, and gets stabbed to death. A woman says no, I will not sleep with you, and a man go on a shooting spree.  A woman says no, I will not give you my number, and is shot outside the club. A woman says no, I don’t want you to buy me a drink, and a man shattered a glass across her face.  A woman say no, I’m a lesbian, and a man shoots both her and her girlfriend while they slept in their home. A woman says no, I don’t want to be with you any more, and a man stabs her to death and murders her dog. A woman says no, stop harassing these teenagers, and a group of men beat her to death with stones and bats, smashing her skull on the pavement. A woman says no, we aren’t married any more, leave me alone, and a man shoots her to death. A woman says no, we work together but I’m not interested in you romantically, and a man shoots her to death whilst she’s working.  A woman says no, I don’t want to sleep with you, and a man rapes, murders and then hangs her from a tree. A woman says no, I’m not interested, and a man slashes her neck open. A woman says no, I never cheated on you, and a man beats her. A woman says no, I want a divorce, and a man cuts her neck open and stabs her multiple times. You want us to start telling you no? You don’t want us to play games? Teach your fellow men to stop murdering us for it. oh I will always reblog this. Everyone should see it. I would like to add: A girl says no, boy murders her (and several others) in a school shooting.
Being Alone, Club, and cnn.com: Strange Fruit.
 @LaEtchi
 If I'm "cockblocking" my friend it's
 because she wants me to do it,
 trust me lol
 09/04/2014 13:55
alloutofreeds:
im-not-trash-im-recyclable:

blazeblastomega:

gordoananke:

ohhmelancholy:

misunderst00ds0ul:

joybeeeez:

guys never realize that. 

Why play games though? Just come out and say no, don’t seem to hard.

cause the word “no” is not in ya’ll vocabulary.

A woman says no, I don’t want to go to prom with you, and gets stabbed to death.
A woman says no, I will not sleep with you, and a man go on a shooting spree. 
A woman says no, I will not give you my number, and is shot outside the club.
A woman says no, I don’t want you to buy me a drink, and a man shattered a glass across her face. 
A woman say no, I’m a lesbian, and a man shoots both her and her girlfriend while they slept in their home.
A woman says no, I don’t want to be with you any more, and a man stabs her to death and murders her dog.
A woman says no, stop harassing these teenagers, and a group of men beat her to death with stones and bats, smashing her skull on the pavement.
A woman says no, we aren’t married any more, leave me alone, and a man shoots her to death.
A woman says no, we work together but I’m not interested in you romantically, and a man shoots her to death whilst she’s working. 
A woman says no, I don’t want to sleep with you, and a man rapes, murders and then hangs her from a tree.
A woman says no, I’m not interested, and a man slashes her neck open.
A woman says no, I never cheated on you, and a man beats her.
A woman says no, I want a divorce, and a man cuts her neck open and stabs her multiple times.
You want us to start telling you no? You don’t want us to play games? Teach your fellow men to stop murdering us for it.

oh

I will always reblog this. Everyone should see it. 


I would like to add:
A girl says no, boy murders her (and several others) in a school shooting.

alloutofreeds: im-not-trash-im-recyclable: blazeblastomega: gordoananke: ohhmelancholy: misunderst00ds0ul: joybeeeez: guys never reali...

Confused, Crime, and Girls: Hey if you could eat any letter of the alphabet, what letter would you eat and why? Yesterday 6:48 PM I would eat Os but not the sad ones, only the CheeriOs Today 11:15 AM Hmm...that's a better response than any l've got before Let me guess most girls only want the D? But your saving that for later Nah, I've gotten like an F for no reason, and one said Y, but now that I think about it they may have been asking me Aha well Then tbhl was hella confused when you asked and I seriously thought it was a dick joke I can see that, but just going with a D is so uncreative Very true think. I like the way you Now what letter would you eat? Lol R because its the most sinister sounding. That's why it's called murder and not mukduk What's mukduk I have no idea, but I know what murder is What's that Like...when you kill someone and get charged with murder I think it's a fun word to say Yeah know I knew that I was just saying if that's what we were actually talking about here. But murders kinda interest me like I watch a lot of documentaries and conspiracy theories lol I don't like the parts of those documentaries that have blood Really? Yeah, I'm more into the whole theft crime thing. SometimesI like to imagine my perfect crime I break into Tiffany's at midnight Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in New Brunswick, but I go to Yukon. I don't trust her. Besides I like the cold. Thirty years later, get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier Sent Today 6:07 PM That's deep lol I don’t think she’s the one. *looks disappointingly into the camera*
Confused, Crime, and Girls: Hey if you could eat any letter of
 the alphabet, what letter would
 you eat and why?
 Yesterday 6:48 PM
 I would eat Os but not the sad
 ones, only the CheeriOs
 Today 11:15 AM
 Hmm...that's a better response
 than any l've got before
 Let me guess most girls only
 want the D? But your saving that
 for later
 Nah, I've gotten like an F for no
 reason, and one said Y, but now
 that I think about it they may
 have been asking me
 Aha well Then tbhl was hella
 confused when you asked and I
 seriously thought it was a dick
 joke
 I can see that, but just going with
 a D is so uncreative
 Very true
 think.
 I like the way you
 Now what letter would you eat?
 Lol
 R because its the most sinister
 sounding. That's why it's called
 murder and not mukduk
 What's mukduk
 I have no idea, but I know what
 murder is
 What's that
 Like...when you kill someone and
 get charged with murder
 I think it's a fun word to say
 Yeah know I knew that I was just
 saying if that's what we were
 actually talking about here. But
 murders kinda interest me like I
 watch a lot of documentaries and
 conspiracy theories lol
 I don't like the parts of those
 documentaries that have blood
 Really?
 Yeah, I'm more into the whole
 theft crime thing. SometimesI
 like to imagine my perfect crime
 I break into Tiffany's at midnight
 Do I go for the vault? No, I go for
 the chandelier. It's priceless. As
 I'm taking it down, a woman
 catches me. She tells me to stop
 It's her father's business. She's
 Tiffany. I say no. We make love
 all night. In the morning, the cops
 come and I escape in one of their
 uniforms. I tell her to meet me in
 New Brunswick, but I go to
 Yukon. I don't trust her. Besides
 I like the cold. Thirty years later,
 get a postcard. I have a son and
 he's the chief of police. This is
 where the story gets interesting
 I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris
 by the Trocadero. She's been
 waiting for me all these years
 She's never taken another lover. I
 don't care. I don't show up. I go
 to Berlin. That's where I stashed
 the chandelier
 Sent
 Today 6:07 PM
 That's deep lol
I don’t think she’s the one. *looks disappointingly into the camera*

I don’t think she’s the one. *looks disappointingly into the camera*

Ariel, Bad, and Bitch: 4G 21:39 rueplumet i love prince eric. from the little mermaid. he's hilarious. because he seems like one of the most mild-mannered and unassuming princes in the disney canon, but he is also one of the few to actively kill the bad guy. most disney villains die by consequence of the final battle but are not directly killed by the hero/ heroine. most of them fall to their deaths or cause their own demise, and sometimes the hero is indirectly responsible because they ll launch them into that direction or something, but they still don't bring knife to heart directly but then a couple do. and prince eric is my fave out of those few because up until the final act, he is the most chill motherfucker u ever seen. like he is quick to spring to action during the storm scene n stuff, but otherwise? he's really quiet n sensitive and runs along the beach playing the flute for his big shaggy dog n he smiles like a lil nerd and gets all cute around ariel and he's so sweet n everything AND THEN IN THE FINAL BATTLE THAT MOTHERFUC KER STRAIGHT UP DRIVES A SHIP THROUGH URSULA LIKE WH ONE IS TRYIN TO LAY SIEGE TO HIS KINGDOM!! ALL THE NEIGHBOURS ARE LIKE "HOLY SHIT DON'T GO THERE! PRINCE ERIC IS A BEAST! HE'LL STRAIGHT UP AT!!!! NO WONDER NO 17 4G 21:39 THERE! PRINCE ERIC IS A BEAST! HE'LL STRAIGHT UP DRIVE A BOAT THROUGH YOUR BITCH!" i love him lainybunbuns At the beginning of the movie Prince Eric, without hesitation, jumps into the ocean, in the middle of a storm, and climbs onto a ship that's on fire, all to rescue his dog Then when he's convinced some mystery woman saved him, he starts looking for her just to thank her. On his way, he meets some mute naked teenage girl who can't even walk or dress herself, confirms that she's not the girl he's looking for, then brings her to stay at his castle anyway, for no particular reason No one questions this, just like they don't question when he shows up three days later with a mysterious woman one morning and says he's getting married that same day. At said wedding, several witnesses see his fiance turn into a sea monster, which he then murders by piloting a submerged ship pulled up from the bottom of the ocean straight into her. A week later, he marries the mute girl and the god of the sea himself rises from the ocean to give his blessings Again, no one questions this 17 4G 21:39 piloting a submerged ship pulled up from the bottom of the ocean straight into her. A week later, he marries the mute girl and the god of the sea himself rises from the ocean to give his blessings Again, no one questions this I'm convinced that Eric had to have done some crazy in sane stunts on a regular basis, cause despite him being so chill and relaxed normally, no one bats an eyelash at any of his ridiculous decisions or incredible feats during the course of the film. Clearly they're all used to it, and rumours of him marrying an ocean princess would only dissuade potential enemies of his country even further. a-kent a common conversation around the kingdom "Did you hear what Prince Eric did this morning?" "Oh gods, not again. jumpingjacktrash prince eric is a retired epic level player character Fuente: rrueplumet 115,535 notas 17 "...what the hell are you up to now, Eric?" "Y'know, the ush."
Ariel, Bad, and Bitch: 4G 21:39
 rueplumet
 i love prince eric. from the little mermaid. he's
 hilarious. because he seems like one of the most
 mild-mannered and unassuming princes in the disney
 canon, but he is also one of the few to actively kill the
 bad guy. most disney villains die by consequence of
 the final battle but are not directly killed by the hero/
 heroine. most of them fall to their deaths or cause
 their own demise, and sometimes the hero is indirectly
 responsible because they ll launch them into that
 direction or something, but they still don't bring knife to
 heart directly
 but then a couple do. and prince eric is my fave out of
 those few because up until the final act, he is the most
 chill motherfucker u ever seen. like he is quick to spring
 to action during the storm scene n stuff, but otherwise?
 he's really quiet n sensitive and runs along the beach
 playing the flute for his big shaggy dog n he smiles
 like a lil nerd and gets all cute around ariel and he's so
 sweet n everything
 AND THEN IN THE FINAL BATTLE THAT MOTHERFUC
 KER STRAIGHT UP DRIVES A SHIP THROUGH URSULA
 LIKE WH
 ONE IS TRYIN TO LAY SIEGE TO HIS KINGDOM!! ALL
 THE NEIGHBOURS ARE LIKE "HOLY SHIT DON'T GO
 THERE! PRINCE ERIC IS A BEAST! HE'LL STRAIGHT UP
 AT!!!! NO WONDER NO
 17

 4G 21:39
 THERE! PRINCE ERIC IS A BEAST! HE'LL STRAIGHT UP
 DRIVE A BOAT THROUGH YOUR BITCH!"
 i love him
 lainybunbuns
 At the beginning of the movie Prince Eric, without
 hesitation, jumps into the ocean, in the middle of a
 storm, and climbs onto a ship that's on fire, all to rescue
 his dog
 Then when he's convinced some mystery woman saved
 him, he starts looking for her just to thank her. On his
 way, he meets some mute naked teenage girl who can't
 even walk or dress herself, confirms that she's not the
 girl he's looking for, then brings her to stay at his castle
 anyway, for no particular reason
 No one questions this, just like they don't question when
 he shows up three days later with a mysterious woman
 one morning and says he's getting married that same
 day. At said wedding, several witnesses see his fiance
 turn into a sea monster, which he then murders by
 piloting a submerged ship pulled up from the bottom of
 the ocean straight into her.
 A week later, he marries the mute girl and the god of the
 sea himself rises from the ocean to give his blessings
 Again, no one questions this
 17

 4G 21:39
 piloting a submerged ship pulled up from the bottom of
 the ocean straight into her.
 A week later, he marries the mute girl and the god of the
 sea himself rises from the ocean to give his blessings
 Again, no one questions this
 I'm convinced that Eric had to have done some crazy in
 sane stunts on a regular basis, cause despite him being
 so chill and relaxed normally, no one bats an eyelash at
 any of his ridiculous decisions or incredible feats during
 the course of the film. Clearly they're all used to it, and
 rumours of him marrying an ocean princess would only
 dissuade potential enemies of his country even further.
 a-kent
 a common conversation around the kingdom
 "Did you hear what Prince Eric did this morning?"
 "Oh gods, not again.
 jumpingjacktrash
 prince eric is a retired epic level player character
 Fuente: rrueplumet
 115,535 notas
 17
"...what the hell are you up to now, Eric?" "Y'know, the ush."

"...what the hell are you up to now, Eric?" "Y'know, the ush."

Fucking, Tumblr, and Videos: John Mulaney The Top Part 2009 2010 <p><a href="https://transparentbeardmentality.tumblr.com/post/174003387270/libertarirynn-silvershewolf247" class="tumblr_blog">transparentbeardmentality</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/174003023964/silvershewolf247-libertarirynn-we-all-know" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://silvershewolf247.tumblr.com/post/174002659288/libertarirynn-we-all-know-amy-is-a-joke" class="tumblr_blog">silvershewolf247</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/174001861070/we-all-know-amy-is-a-joke-stealing-disgrace-of-a" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>We all know Amy is a joke stealing disgrace of a “comedian” but stealing from John Mulaney is truly beyond unforgivable.</p></blockquote> <p>She really butchered the joke too.</p> </blockquote> <p>She butchers literally every joke she steals. Like if you look up “Amy Schumer joke stealing compilation“ on YouTube you’ll get several videos and every time she takes someone’s joke she fucking murders it and not in a good way. I will never forget that time she stole one of Ellen’s early jokes and used it on Ellen’s fucking show years later like she wouldn’t notice 😂</p> </blockquote> <p>Like her or not, that’s not joke stealing. It’s a very common observation that we can be exhausted, and yet wired as fuck. If you’ve been watching lots of comedians you see the commonalities between heaps of them, because they’re relating common human experience. Even YOU have most likely thought a variation of this joke. </p> </blockquote><p>I might be inclined to agree with you if this were the only example.</p><p>Spoiler alert: it’s not.</p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/4eDxjxVl8S0">https://youtu.be/4eDxjxVl8S0</a></p>
Fucking, Tumblr, and Videos: John Mulaney
 The Top Part
 2009
 2010
<p><a href="https://transparentbeardmentality.tumblr.com/post/174003387270/libertarirynn-silvershewolf247" class="tumblr_blog">transparentbeardmentality</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/174003023964/silvershewolf247-libertarirynn-we-all-know" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://silvershewolf247.tumblr.com/post/174002659288/libertarirynn-we-all-know-amy-is-a-joke" class="tumblr_blog">silvershewolf247</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/174001861070/we-all-know-amy-is-a-joke-stealing-disgrace-of-a" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>We all know Amy is a joke stealing disgrace of a “comedian” but stealing from John Mulaney is truly beyond unforgivable.</p></blockquote>

<p>She really butchered the joke too.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>She butchers literally every joke she steals. Like if you look up “Amy Schumer joke stealing compilation“ on YouTube you’ll get several videos and every time she takes someone’s joke she fucking murders it and not in a good way. I will never forget that time she stole one of Ellen’s early jokes and used it on Ellen’s fucking show years later like she wouldn’t notice 😂</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Like her or not, that’s not joke stealing. It’s a very common observation that we can be exhausted, and yet wired as fuck.  If you’ve been watching lots of comedians you see the commonalities between heaps of them, because they’re relating common human experience.  Even YOU have most likely thought a variation of this joke. </p>
</blockquote><p>I might be inclined to agree with you if this were the only example.</p><p>Spoiler alert: it’s not.</p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/4eDxjxVl8S0">https://youtu.be/4eDxjxVl8S0</a></p>

<p><a href="https://transparentbeardmentality.tumblr.com/post/174003387270/libertarirynn-silvershewolf247" class="tumblr_blog">transparentbe...