Hooman
Hooman

Hooman

Unemployed
Unemployed

Unemployed

When He
When He

When He

But
But

But

Number
Number

Number

And
And

And

Iamed
Iamed

Iamed

Nastiness
Nastiness

Nastiness

Cyanide And Happieness
Cyanide And Happieness

Cyanide And Happieness

You Died
You Died

You Died

🔥 | Latest

Manners: Too Horny But Horny For Cuddling @SeitanSlut Ah yes. Explore a restaurant while waiters carry around hot food and beverages. A safe environment for a child to go unaccompanied. Slate @Slate 7h SLATE Our waitress told him to sit down. I'm angry she didn't speak to me before disciplining my kid. slate.trib.al/koyzfB5 lazy-cat-corner: giasesshoumaru: This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome. Dear Care and Feeding, My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it’s hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else’s child. I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses. —It’s Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still Dear Sit Still, Yeah, this is your fault. It’s hugely your fault. Of course it’s hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It’s why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to “explore” by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink. A kid “exploring” a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn’t to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to “stop running.” You weren’t parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong. Your son is not ready to eat at a “medium-nice” restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald’s. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course. I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip. Mend your wicked ways. And that’s the tea! It’s not complicated. Your wine glass is on your right Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in Watch your damn kids And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!!
Manners: Too Horny But Horny For Cuddling
 @SeitanSlut
 Ah yes. Explore a restaurant while waiters carry around
 hot food and beverages. A safe environment for a child
 to go unaccompanied.
 Slate
 @Slate 7h
 SLATE
 Our waitress told him to sit down. I'm angry she didn't speak to me before
 disciplining my kid. slate.trib.al/koyzfB5
lazy-cat-corner:
giasesshoumaru:


This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it’s hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else’s child.
I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses.
—It’s Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still
Dear Sit Still,
Yeah, this is your fault. It’s hugely your fault. Of course it’s hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It’s why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to “explore” by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink.
A kid “exploring” a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn’t to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to “stop running.” You weren’t parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong.
Your son is not ready to eat at a “medium-nice” restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald’s. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course.
I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip.
Mend your wicked ways.


And that’s the tea! 
It’s not complicated.
Your wine glass is on your right 
Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in
Watch your damn kids
And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!!

lazy-cat-corner: giasesshoumaru: This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It’s awesome. Dear Care and Feeding,...

Manners: If you don't teach your child to obey Jesus, the devil will teach them evolution, sexuality psychology, witchcraft doktorgirlfriend: michi0no: prokopetz: cheesedeity: prokopetz: bear-eggs: geekandmisandry: Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time. #TeamSatan Can satan come teach a class at my school Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers. For example, this guy? Teaches moral philosophy. And this creepy dude? He’s your astronomy professor. Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild. I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school. “Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.” “Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.” “Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.” Okay but it’s kind of fun to look this stuff up. There are literally so many teacher-demons. Like This dude is your foreign language prof. And Mister Chickenlegs is gonna teach you some manners And this guy is your freakin’ Art Professor.  BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!I wanna learn art from the hell puppy! :O(Michi, I just raided the “demons” search on your blog. Good times, lemme tell ya.DEMON DATABASE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Ohhhh, boy, I’m about to lose some hours here.)
Manners: If you don't teach your
 child to obey Jesus, the
 devil will teach them
 evolution, sexuality
 psychology, witchcraft
doktorgirlfriend:

michi0no:
prokopetz:

cheesedeity:

prokopetz:

bear-eggs:

geekandmisandry:

Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledgeable and generous with his time.
#TeamSatan

Can satan come teach a class at my school

Amusingly, among the Western European demon-conjuring cults of the 16th Century, many demons were greatly valued for their skill as teachers, often to the point that grimoires would place greater emphasis on the subjects each demon was qualified to teach than on their supernatural powers.
For example, this guy?
Teaches moral philosophy.
And this creepy dude?
He’s your astronomy professor.
Seriously, look this stuff up some time - it’s wild.

I now want a comic or cartoon series about demon teachers and their human students. Not sure if it should be college or high school.

“Aw, man - I got Professor Lionwheel. I hear if you fail his exams, he eats your legs.”
“Yeah, but he’s supposed to be really good about keeping regular office hours.”
“Huh. Sort of a trade-off, really.”


Okay but it’s kind of fun to look this stuff up. There are literally so many teacher-demons. Like
This dude is your foreign language prof.

And Mister Chickenlegs is gonna teach you some manners
And this guy is your freakin’ Art Professor. 

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!I wanna learn art from the hell puppy! :O(Michi, I just raided the “demons” search on your blog. Good times, lemme tell ya.DEMON DATABASE, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Ohhhh, boy, I’m about to lose some hours here.)

doktorgirlfriend: michi0no: prokopetz: cheesedeity: prokopetz: bear-eggs: geekandmisandry: Wow, I had no idea Satan was so knowledg...

Manners: gotham city by meg INT. WAREHOUSE NIGHT The discordant SCREECH of a wooden chair's being dragged across a concrete floor echoes through the spacious yet deserted warehouse. The tinted lights are dim, some flickering without any discernible pattern. A heavy pair of boots stomp rhythmically as an man makes his way across the room, the chair firmly in his grip. The man, a nameless HENCHMAN type, is who someone with manners would refer to as "burly" or "built." He stops underneath the brightest light in the room, setting the chair down and revealing its occupant. He is wearing a golden "RR" symbol decorating his chest. Despite the sack covering his features, one can still make out his raven hair poking out of the burlap fabric. a uniform of sorts, with black and red details plus HENCHMAN (gruff) Seems like the Batman... is losing his touch RED ROBIN's head twitches underneath the sack. RED ROBIN (muffled) Do I look like Batman to you? The henchman circles the teen like a tiger stalking its prey, if that tiger had one too many antelope dinners. He forces out a deep and planned LAUGH HENCHMAN No, no, no. Much too small, you are Red Robin shifts in his seat. Inaudible muffling can be heard from underneath the sack. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Shhh, little bird. You must save your breath! Air will get spare quite soon. Henchman LAUGHS again, but this time his voice horribly cracks. He COUGHS quickly, but the damage was done. Red Robin shifts in his seat once more in the following uncomfortable silence. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) So tell me- 2. Henchman tries to restore the tense atmosphere by slipping an obnoxiously sized syringe full of mysterious liquid out of a package hidden in his coat pocket. HENCHMAN (CONT'D) Where is the bat? My employer just wants to... chat. Red Robin drops his head to the side, effectively communicating a "bitch, please" without the spoken word. Henchman menacingly shakes his head as he stalks toward the teen HENCHMAN (CONT'D) I had a feeling you were the dumb robin A voice suddenly cuts through the heavy air. RED HOOD (from above) Damn right! The man drops the syringe in surprise, eliciting CRASH Red Robin perks up at the dialogue, using the hand that was supposedly tied to the splintering wooden chair to lift the sack from his head. a horrid RED ROBIN (yelling) I resent that! More bickering voices start to emerge from the darkened catwalk above the factory floor. The henchman stands stunned SPOILER Hey, don't say that! sensitive. He's ROBIN Weakest Robin, maybe. Getting himself kidnapped by this oaf? Disgraceful RED ROBIN (yelling) We literally planned this! It was your idea! Red Robin starts untying the ropes around his ankles. 3. ROBIN Maybe there's a reason you're always playing kidnapped! RED ROBIN (yelling) Because you guys are jerks? NIGHTWING Hey, I volunteered to be kidnapped this time! BATGIRL Oh, honey. We all know how that would play out. A communal GROAN emits from the batkids as they reminisce on the last time Dick volunteered to play kidnapped. RED HOOD I take it back, Wing's the dumb Robin NIGHTWING OKAY, first of all, not my fault- the fire was The batkids devolve into unintelligible BICKERING. To an outside observer, it would seem as Red Robin is yelling into darkness filled with disembodied voices. Henchman SPUTTERS, unable to form coherent words. HENCHMAN H-hey! You- You can't- ALL BATKIDS (yelling) Shut up! The henchman shuts his gaping mouth with the CLICK of his teeth HENCHΜΑΝ (talking to himself) I 'm not getting out of this, am 1? A pair of white eyes cut through the darkness behind him ΒΑΤΜAΝ No outoftheframework: outoftheframework: so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in fifteen minutes, unedited, and then post it. this is what happened. enjoy? so so so thankful and in awe to the response to this post. I love screenwriting and it would be my pleasure to provide you guys with more high quality work in the future, y’all make me so happy.thank you :)
Manners: gotham city
 by
 meg

 INT. WAREHOUSE
 NIGHT
 The discordant SCREECH of a wooden chair's being dragged
 across a concrete floor echoes through the spacious yet
 deserted warehouse. The tinted lights are dim, some
 flickering without any discernible pattern. A heavy pair of
 boots stomp rhythmically as an man makes his way across the
 room, the chair firmly in his grip. The man, a nameless
 HENCHMAN type, is who someone with manners would refer to
 as "burly" or "built."
 He stops underneath the brightest light in the room,
 setting the chair down and revealing its occupant. He is
 wearing
 a golden "RR" symbol decorating his chest. Despite the sack
 covering his features, one can still make out his raven
 hair poking out of the burlap fabric.
 a uniform of sorts, with black and red details plus
 HENCHMAN
 (gruff)
 Seems like the Batman... is losing
 his touch
 RED ROBIN's head twitches underneath the sack.
 RED ROBIN
 (muffled)
 Do I look like Batman to you?
 The henchman circles the teen like a
 tiger stalking its
 prey, if that tiger had one too many antelope dinners. He
 forces out a deep and planned LAUGH
 HENCHMAN
 No, no, no. Much too small, you
 are
 Red Robin shifts in his seat. Inaudible muffling can be
 heard from underneath the sack.
 HENCHMAN (CONT'D)
 Shhh, little bird. You must save
 your breath! Air will get spare
 quite soon.
 Henchman LAUGHS again, but this time his voice horribly
 cracks. He COUGHS quickly, but the damage was done. Red
 Robin shifts in his seat once more in the following
 uncomfortable silence.
 HENCHMAN (CONT'D)
 So tell me-

 2.
 Henchman tries to restore the tense atmosphere by slipping
 an obnoxiously sized syringe full of mysterious liquid out
 of a package hidden in his coat pocket.
 HENCHMAN (CONT'D)
 Where is the bat? My employer just
 wants to... chat.
 Red Robin drops his head to the side, effectively
 communicating
 a "bitch, please" without the spoken word.
 Henchman menacingly shakes his head as he stalks toward the
 teen
 HENCHMAN (CONT'D)
 I had a feeling you were the dumb
 robin
 A voice suddenly cuts through the heavy air.
 RED HOOD
 (from above)
 Damn right!
 The man drops the syringe in surprise, eliciting
 CRASH Red Robin perks up at the dialogue, using the hand
 that was supposedly tied to the splintering wooden chair to
 lift the sack from his head.
 a horrid
 RED ROBIN
 (yelling)
 I resent that!
 More bickering voices start to emerge from the darkened
 catwalk above the factory floor. The henchman stands
 stunned
 SPOILER
 Hey, don't say that!
 sensitive.
 He's
 ROBIN
 Weakest Robin, maybe. Getting
 himself kidnapped by this oaf?
 Disgraceful
 RED ROBIN
 (yelling)
 We literally planned this! It was
 your idea!
 Red Robin starts untying the ropes around his ankles.

 3.
 ROBIN
 Maybe there's a reason you're
 always playing kidnapped!
 RED ROBIN
 (yelling)
 Because you guys are
 jerks?
 NIGHTWING
 Hey, I volunteered to be kidnapped
 this time!
 BATGIRL
 Oh, honey. We all know how that
 would play out.
 A communal GROAN emits from the batkids as they reminisce
 on the last time Dick volunteered to play kidnapped.
 RED HOOD
 I take it back, Wing's the dumb
 Robin
 NIGHTWING
 OKAY, first of all,
 not my fault-
 the fire was
 The batkids devolve into unintelligible BICKERING. To an
 outside observer, it would seem as Red Robin is yelling
 into darkness filled with disembodied voices.
 Henchman SPUTTERS, unable to form coherent words.
 HENCHMAN
 H-hey! You- You can't-
 ALL BATKIDS
 (yelling)
 Shut up!
 The henchman shuts his gaping mouth with the CLICK of his
 teeth
 HENCHΜΑΝ
 (talking to himself)
 I 'm not getting out of this, am 1?
 A pair of white eyes cut through the darkness behind him
 ΒΑΤΜAΝ
 No
outoftheframework:

outoftheframework:
so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in fifteen minutes, unedited, and then post it. this is what happened.

enjoy?

so so so thankful and in awe to the response to this post. I love screenwriting and it would be my pleasure to provide you guys with more high quality work in the future, y’all make me so happy.thank you :)

outoftheframework: outoftheframework: so a little fun tidbit about me is that i write screenplays. i challenged myself to write one in f...