Older Brothers
Older Brothers

Older Brothers

Got Some
Got Some

Got Some

His
His

His

Says
Says

Says

Happens
Happens

Happens

Guessed
Guessed

Guessed

Andys
Andys

Andys

Are
Are

Are

Was
Was

Was

After
After

After

🔥 | Latest

Bad, Cookies, and Dad: Godzilla Tag Yourself That Ain't Falco Didn't forget what you did -Best in track -Is there Grumpy Cat Butterfly I say your justice qoes too far! -Sometimes smol Good dad r you but Badderfly justice doesn't go you mock in -drives environmentally -Good Babysitter -Is on your side Einstein -Wants everyone to be friends middle school too far enough! friendly car Can count how many -Wasn't invited -Screams moth friend wants to be helpful are about fensive on one hand. -Kinda Selish -Needs to slow down Boba Fett Didn't do much Kanga-Rex Palpatine Kamacurry -Mob mentality -Always blends in -Tries st kicks uly Talks big game Itsy Bitsy -loved by all -Great at extreme sports Doeshtgive a hood Moral Support -Awesome -Kinda overrated -Only one who sees the big picture -Stunt double ary aks big Cam Might not even be real Has the laugh that gets everyone going -Secretly a toad pams twitch chat school -Makes a egg casserole Literal grime Savage even when not trying -Used to be a big deal -Don't disturb -Got big plans SPAAACE Monty Mole r but doesn't rare Is just here to raise the roof. Mecha Ghidio u but smarter -Sophisticated horoscope reader -Probably had too much coffee-Just wants to rule the world -Back by unpopular demand Little Shop of Horrors -Who are you? I'm you but less privileged -Has taken up a new leaf handlla s but thinks he could -Knows there isn't a spoon. All according to plan -Won't leave his couch fort a trench coat a pokemon Sill is hut can't kiss Is probably only good because it benefits him -ls in a bad mood and fixing to take it out on you -ls so done all the timeA Frieza Switches to vour main after beating you in smash bros -Looks up to Jason Voorhees s hetter than Knows it Lovebirds -Brings a tactical warhead on first date -cocky teens Lil Green -Awkward phase Diggersby -smoler -picks on things more e True Armadillo Facts Red Lobster Mis Ghidio the downtrodder -Good with electronics Hates spicy foods -Good guard dog -Came to attack people and is having a good time l -pure -Didn't ask for this small than him -Didn't deserve any of this -Except for that one time -Surprisingly Reliable T peo -Notorious party crasher -Easy Target ple's hero -Won't die -has regrets -Came for f T -esteem F-Type Master Splinter Titanic Tuna Is with the wrong crowd nut learned ett tt in Megatron - Has no clue what you? I'm vou Robot Chicken of JUSTICE but shinier he's doing ececut bimself in -Lonely piggyback rides -Communicates -Doesn't know why he's here but is happy to help is head -Goodenforcer Hator mat woodshop Edgemeister anybody's way mbs ups Has the best pokerface-Will conquer the worldSneaks by auoting fortune cookies List of skills include bi best breaking things sily influenced Has 50 different Will wreck you in karaoke -Is there for you -Never not smiling -Good cop in to ways to kill you -big bro friend his tunes Fullmetal Kirby Flygon Grouchy Kitty -Who are you? not you, Who are you? I'm you but aping-Who are you? I'm a bug Who are you? The terminator have promising future Still voung at heart" -I don't have that. I need it.-Listens to Three Days Grace on full blast Still does? The queen imlot of crap for Insecure -Intentionally has dog poop your lawn Came to ruin everything Now brute forces everything -It's mine now eating habits -Identity crisis -Most expressive -ls a black belt Mayhe redeemable -Just wants to go on a family picnic .Drinks tears -killed a man plays a golden fiddle -beloved scum andrewtheamericandude: Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 
Bad, Cookies, and Dad: Godzilla Tag Yourself
 That Ain't Falco
 Didn't forget what you did -Best in track
 -Is there
 Grumpy Cat
 Butterfly
 I say your justice qoes too far!
 -Sometimes smol
 Good dad
 r you but
 Badderfly
 justice doesn't go
 you mock in
 -drives environmentally
 -Good Babysitter
 -Is on your side Einstein -Wants everyone to be friends
 middle school
 too far enough!
 friendly car
 Can count how many
 -Wasn't invited
 -Screams
 moth friend
 wants to be helpful
 are about
 fensive
 on one hand.
 -Kinda Selish
 -Needs to slow down
 Boba Fett
 Didn't do much
 Kanga-Rex
 Palpatine
 Kamacurry
 -Mob mentality
 -Always blends in
 -Tries
 st kicks
 uly
 Talks big game
 Itsy Bitsy
 -loved by all
 -Great at extreme sports Doeshtgive a hood
 Moral Support
 -Awesome
 -Kinda overrated
 -Only one who sees the
 big picture
 -Stunt double
 ary
 aks big Cam
 Might not even be real
 Has the laugh that
 gets everyone going
 -Secretly a toad
 pams twitch chat
 school
 -Makes a
 egg casserole
 Literal grime
 Savage even when
 not trying
 -Used to be a big deal
 -Don't disturb
 -Got big plans
 SPAAACE
 Monty Mole
 r but doesn't rare
 Is just here to raise the roof.
 Mecha Ghidio
 u but smarter
 -Sophisticated horoscope reader
 -Probably had too much coffee-Just wants to rule the world
 -Back by unpopular demand
 Little Shop of Horrors
 -Who are you? I'm you but
 less privileged
 -Has taken up a new leaf
 handlla s but thinks he could
 -Knows there isn't a spoon.
 All according to plan
 -Won't leave his couch fort
 a trench coat
 a pokemon
 Sill is hut can't kiss
 Is probably only good because it
 benefits him
 -ls in a bad mood and fixing
 to take it out on you
 -ls so done all the timeA
 Frieza
 Switches to vour main after
 beating you in smash bros
 -Looks up to Jason Voorhees
 s hetter than
 Knows it
 Lovebirds
 -Brings a tactical warhead on first date
 -cocky teens
 Lil Green
 -Awkward phase
 Diggersby
 -smoler
 -picks on things more
 e
 True Armadillo Facts
 Red Lobster
 Mis
 Ghidio
 the
 downtrodder
 -Good with electronics Hates spicy foods
 -Good guard dog
 -Came to attack people and is having a good time
 l
 -pure
 -Didn't ask for this
 small than him
 -Didn't deserve any of this
 -Except for that one time
 -Surprisingly Reliable
 T peo
 -Notorious party crasher
 -Easy Target
 ple's hero
 -Won't die
 -has regrets
 -Came for f
 T -esteem
 F-Type
 Master Splinter
 Titanic Tuna
 Is with the wrong crowd nut learned
 ett tt in
 Megatron
 - Has no clue what
 you? I'm vou
 Robot Chicken
 of JUSTICE
 but shinier
 he's doing
 ececut bimself in
 -Lonely
 piggyback rides
 -Communicates
 -Doesn't know why he's here
 but is happy to help
 is head
 -Goodenforcer
 Hator mat
 woodshop
 Edgemeister
 anybody's way
 mbs ups Has the best pokerface-Will conquer the worldSneaks by auoting fortune cookies
 List of skills include
 bi best
 breaking things
 sily influenced
 Has 50 different
 Will wreck you in karaoke
 -Is there for you
 -Never not smiling
 -Good cop
 in to
 ways to kill you
 -big bro friend
 his tunes
 Fullmetal
 Kirby
 Flygon
 Grouchy Kitty
 -Who are you?
 not you,
 Who are you? I'm you but aping-Who are you? I'm a bug
 Who are you? The terminator
 have promising future
 Still voung at heart"
 -I don't have that. I need it.-Listens to Three Days Grace
 on full blast
 Still does?
 The queen
 imlot of crap for Insecure
 -Intentionally has dog poop
 your lawn
 Came to ruin everything
 Now brute forces everything
 -It's mine now
 eating habits
 -Identity crisis
 -Most expressive
 -ls a black belt
 Mayhe redeemable
 -Just wants to go on a family picnic
 .Drinks tears
 -killed a man
 plays a golden fiddle
 -beloved scum
andrewtheamericandude:

Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 

andrewtheamericandude: Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 

Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case ef Fire De lot Use Elevator Use Stairs there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was n college, there was a particular class took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning "Look who's late" face, and walks on inside What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like Fuck it and SCALED THE BUILDING! She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom He did a double take, started to say "How the hell d" when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP DOING THAT! Gotta love college
Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case ef Fire
 De lot Use
 Elevator
 Use Stairs
 there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the
 elevator
 see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the
 bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do
 random shit like this
 Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was
 n college, there was a particular class took where, no matter what time
 you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor,
 you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how
 some professors are really obnoxious about attendance
 Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she
 reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the
 front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from
 walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a
 well-meaning "Look who's late" face, and walks on inside
 What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like
 freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just
 like Fuck it and SCALED THE BUILDING!
 She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like
 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one
 student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the
 floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor
 opened the door to the classroom
 He did a double take, started to say "How the hell d" when a security
 guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP
 DOING THAT!
Gotta love college

Gotta love college

Climbing, College, and Fire: in Case et Fire Elevator Use Stairs there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance Wel, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here) He looks up from walking and he sees her He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning Look who's late" face, and walks on inside What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like Fuck it and SCALED THE BUILDING! She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom He did a double take, started to say "How the hell d when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP DOING THAT! Impressive
Climbing, College, and Fire: in Case et Fire
 Elevator
 Use Stairs
 there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the
 elevator
 see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the
 bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do
 random shit like this
 Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was
 in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time
 you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor
 you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how
 some professors are really obnoxious about attendance
 Wel, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she
 reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the
 front steps (super long rectangular building here) He looks up from
 walking and he sees her He then points to his watch, gives her a
 well-meaning Look who's late" face, and walks on inside
 What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like
 freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just
 like Fuck it and SCALED THE BUILDING!
 She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like
 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one
 student piss himself. They opened the window she rolled through, onto the
 floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor
 opened the door to the classroom
 He did a double take, started to say "How the hell d when a security
 guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP
 DOING THAT!
Impressive

Impressive

Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case et Fire Do lot Use Elevafor Use Stairs there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning Look who's late" face, and walks on inside What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like Fuck it" and SCALED THE BUILDING! She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom. He did a double take, started to say "How the held when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP DOING THAT!" “AND THEN THEY ALL CLAPPED”
Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case et Fire
 Do lot Use
 Elevafor
 Use Stairs
 there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the
 elevator
 see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the
 bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do
 random shit like this
 Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was
 in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time
 you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor
 you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how
 some professors are really obnoxious about attendance
 Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she
 reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the
 front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from
 walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a
 well-meaning Look who's late" face, and walks on inside
 What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like
 freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just
 like Fuck it" and SCALED THE BUILDING!
 She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like
 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one
 student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the
 floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor
 opened the door to the classroom.
 He did a double take, started to say "How the held when a security
 guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP
 DOING THAT!"
“AND THEN THEY ALL CLAPPED”

“AND THEN THEY ALL CLAPPED”

Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case of Fire Do tet Use Elevator Use Stairs haedia: thewolfofnibu: stahscre4m: there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random slike this Okay, everybody, I have a story about random s in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class i took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning "Look who's late" face, and walks on inside. What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it" and SCALED THE BUILDING! She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom He did a double take, started to say "How the hell d-when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP DOING THAT! I've saved this before, but this time it has a picture!
Climbing, College, and Fire: In Case of Fire
 Do tet Use
 Elevator
 Use Stairs
 haedia:
 thewolfofnibu:
 stahscre4m:
 there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the
 elevator
 see what intrigues me about college isn't the intellectual pursuit or the
 bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do
 random slike this
 Okay, everybody, I have a story about random s in college. When I was
 in college, there was a particular class i took where, no matter what time
 you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor,
 you wouldn't be counted late. I mean, that's a pretty cool policy, given how
 some professors are really obnoxious about attendance
 Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she
 reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the
 front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking
 and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning
 "Look who's late" face, and walks on inside.
 What he didn't know, though, was that this particular student was like
 freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just
 like “Fuck it" and SCALED THE BUILDING!
 She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like
 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one
 student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto
 the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor
 opened the door to the classroom
 He did a double take, started to say "How the hell d-when a security
 guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed "STOP
 DOING THAT!
I've saved this before, but this time it has a picture!

I've saved this before, but this time it has a picture!

Birthday, Dad, and Driving: dokudoki pistachiosoda Follow liamdunburs ids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said "i like that name. did you know i'm in love with you" letthemountainsmoveyou i asked my four year old cousin how old he thought i was going to be at my next birthday and he said 8. im 23 roonilwazlip once i told a 6 year old that i had finished school and was doing "more school" university] and she asked "why haven't you found anyone to marry then" eyeslikeacat We were at a museum and I was asking for the student discount and my nine year old cousin looks up at me with his eyes wide and says "wait you're a STUDENT??" meelothemanly I used to babysit these three kids and the eldest who was around 11 at the time was talking about how adults are boring and when I told him I was an adult he said, "That's not true, you're my age cractasticdispatches our aunt teaches and she has this story about a little girl who really was always pretty quiet in class and then on the final day of kindergarten she just up and stated i'm all teached now. i don't need to be teached anymore. i'm done of being teached. diamondelight92 once when i was 19, I told my little cousin that i was 19 and she looked up at me with huge eyes and went, "Does that mean you don't have to bring an adult with you to the pool?" anxietee-n My 6 year old cousin saw me driving for the first time, looked up at him mom and said "does that mean she is married now? standard-fiend I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and whether or not they were also a dress. My neice's argument was that they were in fact, also a dress because they were blue loveyoutothem00n I asked the kids in my daycare class what they thought I should be for Halloween and this little boy goes, "ooh I know! A pickle! You'd be such a good pickle aimmyarrowshigh On the first day of class with my favorite student of all time, I said, "Are you okay? You look like you have a question." And she looked me right in the eyes and said, tremulously "Can a piranha eat a stapler?" manic-kin One time I was working with a kid and he looked up at me and asked "Do you have a boy?" I had no idea what he was talking about, but I told him that I did not have any boys. He looked shocked and then deeply concerned and said "Well you better hurry up and shave your arms so you can get married; August is next month!" dinovia-countryman I was sitting on the floor with my 3yo niece and we were playing with her younger brother's alphabet blocks and the O had an octopus on it. So I picked it up and asked her what it was "Octopus," she said, all curls and smiles And what kind of animal is an octopus?" I asked. I was looking for "fish" or "sea creature but I would have accepted almost anything-weird," "gross, even "slimy." "Underwater" or "it lives in the ocean" would have also been acceptable She looks me right in the eye and says, happy as a clam, "It's a cephalopod. I haven't been the same since Source: dianatprince 769,704 notes Kids have no concept of anything
Birthday, Dad, and Driving: dokudoki pistachiosoda Follow
 liamdunburs
 ids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one
 kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said "i like that
 name. did you know i'm in love with you"
 letthemountainsmoveyou
 i asked my four year old cousin how old he thought i was going to be at my next
 birthday and he said 8. im 23
 roonilwazlip
 once i told a 6 year old that i had finished school and was doing "more school"
 university] and she asked "why haven't you found anyone to marry then"
 eyeslikeacat
 We were at a museum and I was asking for the student discount and my nine
 year old cousin looks up at me with his eyes wide and says "wait you're a
 STUDENT??"
 meelothemanly
 I used to babysit these three kids and the eldest who was around 11 at the time
 was talking about how adults are boring and when I told him I was an adult he
 said, "That's not true, you're my age
 cractasticdispatches
 our aunt teaches and she has this story about a little girl who really was always
 pretty quiet in class and then on the final day of kindergarten she just up and
 stated i'm all teached now. i don't need to be teached anymore. i'm done of
 being teached.
 diamondelight92
 once when i was 19, I told my little cousin that i was 19 and she looked up at me
 with huge eyes and went, "Does that mean you don't have to bring an adult with
 you to the pool?"
 anxietee-n
 My 6 year old cousin saw me driving for the first time, looked up at him mom and
 said "does that mean she is married now?
 standard-fiend
 I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and
 whether or not they were also a dress. My neice's argument was that they were
 in fact, also a dress because they were blue
 loveyoutothem00n
 I asked the kids in my daycare class what they thought I should be for
 Halloween and this little boy goes, "ooh I know! A pickle! You'd be such a good
 pickle
 aimmyarrowshigh
 On the first day of class with my favorite student of all time, I said, "Are you
 okay? You look like you have a question." And she looked me right in the eyes
 and said, tremulously
 "Can a piranha eat a stapler?"
 manic-kin
 One time I was working with a kid and he looked up at me and asked "Do you
 have a boy?" I had no idea what he was talking about, but I told him that I did not
 have any boys. He looked shocked and then deeply concerned and said "Well
 you better hurry up and shave your arms so you can get married; August is next
 month!"
 dinovia-countryman
 I was sitting on the floor with my 3yo niece and we were playing with her
 younger brother's alphabet blocks and the O had an octopus on it. So I picked it
 up and asked her what it was
 "Octopus," she said, all curls and smiles
 And what kind of animal is an octopus?" I asked. I was looking for "fish" or "sea
 creature but I would have accepted almost anything-weird," "gross,
 even "slimy." "Underwater" or "it lives in the ocean" would have also been
 acceptable
 She looks me right in the eye and says, happy as a clam, "It's a cephalopod.
 I haven't been the same since
 Source: dianatprince
 769,704 notes
Kids have no concept of anything

Kids have no concept of anything

America, Anaconda, and Beijing: questionablefindings everything-is-connected penroseparticle My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because it's old and America is spooky because it's big meduseld The difference between America and England is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, while the English think 100 miles is a long way." -Earle Hitchner burntcopper A fave of mine was always the american tales where people freaked out because 'someone died in this house and all the europeans would go ...Yes? That would be pretty much every house over 40 years old My school is older than your entire town. Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for a shopping trip? American looks up at the beams in a country pub* Uh, this place has woodworm, isn't that a bit unsafe?' 'Eh, the woodworm's 400 years old, it's holding those beams together bedlamsbard A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Amer- icans and Canadians, and my year it was all Ameri- cans and one Australian. We ended the program with a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can't remember), the professors went to the front to warn us that we wouldn't be making any stops unless absolutely nec- essary. We're headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge All right, it's going to be a long bus ride, so make sure you're prepared for that." We all brace ourselves. A long bus ride? How long? Were Americans; a long bus ride for us is a minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly plausible. We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as long as we get a bathroom break. The answer. "Two hours." Oh. derinthemadscientist English people trying to travel around Australia and wildly underestimating distance are my favourite thing marzipanandminutiae a tour guide in France told my school group that a particular cathedral wouldn't interest us much because "it's not very old; only from the early 1600s" to which we had to respond that it was still older than the oldest surviving European-style buildings in our country guana-sneeze China is both old and big. I had some Chinese colleagues over, we were discussing whether they wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive war ship which sank on it's maiden voyage after 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said "not THAT old" (bearing in mind they were Chinese) "it's from the 1500s." To my surprise they still looked impressed, nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised l'd forgotten something: ". mean it's from the 1500s AFTER the birth of Christ" and they went "oh, AFTER... ceescedasticity My dad's favorite quote from various tours in Italy was "Pay no attention to the tower- it was a scornful tone] tenth century addition." My last boss was Chinese, and she said when her parents came to visit her from Beijing they pronounced Chicago "A very nice village." blondegingersaxon This post keeps getting better 2thefingerfuckingfemalefury What I'm getting from this is both distance and time are Utterly Terrifying Source: penroseparticle America is so young.
America, Anaconda, and Beijing: questionablefindings
 everything-is-connected
 penroseparticle
 My favorite thing is that Europe is spooky because
 it's old and America is spooky because it's big
 meduseld
 The difference between America and England
 is that Americans think 100 years is a long time,
 while the English think 100 miles is a long way."
 -Earle Hitchner
 burntcopper
 A fave of mine was always the american tales where
 people freaked out because 'someone died in this
 house and all the europeans would go ...Yes? That
 would be pretty much every house over 40 years old
 My school is older than your entire town.
 Sorry, you think *how far* is okay to travel for
 a shopping trip?
 American looks up at the beams in a country
 pub* Uh, this place has woodworm, isn't that a bit
 unsafe?' 'Eh, the woodworm's 400 years old, it's
 holding those beams together
 bedlamsbard
 A few years ago when I was in college I did a summer
 program at Cambridge aimed specifically at Amer-
 icans and Canadians, and my year it was all Ameri-
 cans and one Australian. We ended the program with
 a week in Wessex, and on the last day as we all piled
 onto the bus in Salisbury (or Bath? I can't remember),
 the professors went to the front to warn us that we
 wouldn't be making any stops unless absolutely nec-
 essary. We're headed to Heathrow to drop off anyone
 flying off the same day, then back to Cambridge
 All right, it's going to be a long bus ride, so make sure
 you're prepared for that."
 We all brace ourselves. A long bus ride? How
 long? Were Americans; a long bus ride for us is a
 minimum of six hours with the double digits perfectly
 plausible. We can handle a twelve hour bus ride as
 long as we get a bathroom break.
 The answer. "Two hours."
 Oh.
 derinthemadscientist
 English people trying to travel around Australia
 and wildly underestimating distance are my
 favourite thing
 marzipanandminutiae
 a tour guide in France told my school group that
 a particular cathedral wouldn't interest us much
 because "it's not very old; only from the early 1600s"
 to which we had to respond that it was still
 older than the oldest surviving European-style
 buildings in our country
 guana-sneeze
 China is both old and big. I had some Chinese
 colleagues over, we were discussing whether they
 wanted to see the Vasa ship (hugely expensive
 war ship which sank on it's maiden voyage after
 12 min). They asked if it was old, I said "not THAT
 old" (bearing in mind they were Chinese) "it's from the
 1500s." To my surprise they still looked impressed,
 nodding enthusiatically. Then I realised l'd forgotten
 something: ". mean it's from the 1500s AFTER the
 birth of Christ" and they went "oh, AFTER...
 ceescedasticity
 My dad's favorite quote from various tours in Italy
 was "Pay no attention to the tower- it was a
 scornful tone] tenth century addition."
 My last boss was Chinese, and she said when
 her parents came to visit her from Beijing they
 pronounced Chicago "A very nice village."
 blondegingersaxon
 This post keeps getting better
 2thefingerfuckingfemalefury
 What I'm getting from this is both distance and time
 are Utterly Terrifying
 Source: penroseparticle
America is so young.

America is so young.