Going Places
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Af, Amazon, and Anaconda: His freedom ride home, he realized he was being adopted. He also tried to steal my cheeseburger @DrSmashlove Reddit u/3riny3s A few weeks ago I hyped up a anti perspirant called Tom’s North Woods. It smells absolutely wonderful and works great. HOWEVER. It got aluminum in it 😖. Bro!! How u gon be a natural product and u got aluminum! I read the packaging closely and it said “naturally sourced aluminum.” FOH 😂. “We naturally select our poisonous metallic substances from the finest natural mines.” Aluminum is an ELEMENT. It’s pure. There is no difference between aluminum from recycled pepsi cans and aluminum from a mine. I was mad AF 😤. So I went back on my quest to find something natural. Well lo and behold Tom’s makes natural deodorant that’s called “wild lavender”. And lemme tell u - it smell pleasant asf! Like basically u slather it on and u sniff ya underarm and u magically transported to the soap aisle of Whole Food and a pleasant hipster girl with ear spacers, short hair, and a name tag that say “RAIN” smile at u 😍 (side note: was she born ‘Rain’? Or is her name Mandy but she adopted the name ‘Rain’ after attending burning man and dropping acid once? Maybe her Nani make it ‘Rain’? 😍 lmao I’m wild lemme stop 😂.) Caveat: if u work out hard AF like me, it will wear off a lil bit. Like for a 100 degree hot summertime Chi day u might could go with the Tom’s north woods aluminum joint. It will give u cancer-memory loss but at least u smell spicy 😂. Also and I done said this before: I shave my public hair which is a tradition among people of my faith. I know some of u women like “ew - DEALBREAKER!” WELL FU— just kidding! Baby girl that’s fair! 😂 I accept our incompatibility and hope u find the hairy Chewbacca lookin a$$ Man of ya dreams! 😍 Now then u men out here at the gym with the grapefruit sized amazon rainforest patch of stinky-ass underarm hair that drip white liquid on the elliptical, the ‘wild lavender’ may not cut it 😂. Y’all got that ‘built in’ stincc u probably need Mitchum. But if u down with that razor life it will give u plenty of protection against Le Stincc. May all of u live blessed and chemical free lives bless up 😍😂
Af, Amazon, and Anaconda: His freedom ride home, he realized he was
 being adopted. He also tried to steal my
 cheeseburger
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/3riny3s
A few weeks ago I hyped up a anti perspirant called Tom’s North Woods. It smells absolutely wonderful and works great. HOWEVER. It got aluminum in it 😖. Bro!! How u gon be a natural product and u got aluminum! I read the packaging closely and it said “naturally sourced aluminum.” FOH 😂. “We naturally select our poisonous metallic substances from the finest natural mines.” Aluminum is an ELEMENT. It’s pure. There is no difference between aluminum from recycled pepsi cans and aluminum from a mine. I was mad AF 😤. So I went back on my quest to find something natural. Well lo and behold Tom’s makes natural deodorant that’s called “wild lavender”. And lemme tell u - it smell pleasant asf! Like basically u slather it on and u sniff ya underarm and u magically transported to the soap aisle of Whole Food and a pleasant hipster girl with ear spacers, short hair, and a name tag that say “RAIN” smile at u 😍 (side note: was she born ‘Rain’? Or is her name Mandy but she adopted the name ‘Rain’ after attending burning man and dropping acid once? Maybe her Nani make it ‘Rain’? 😍 lmao I’m wild lemme stop 😂.) Caveat: if u work out hard AF like me, it will wear off a lil bit. Like for a 100 degree hot summertime Chi day u might could go with the Tom’s north woods aluminum joint. It will give u cancer-memory loss but at least u smell spicy 😂. Also and I done said this before: I shave my public hair which is a tradition among people of my faith. I know some of u women like “ew - DEALBREAKER!” WELL FU— just kidding! Baby girl that’s fair! 😂 I accept our incompatibility and hope u find the hairy Chewbacca lookin a$$ Man of ya dreams! 😍 Now then u men out here at the gym with the grapefruit sized amazon rainforest patch of stinky-ass underarm hair that drip white liquid on the elliptical, the ‘wild lavender’ may not cut it 😂. Y’all got that ‘built in’ stincc u probably need Mitchum. But if u down with that razor life it will give u plenty of protection against Le Stincc. May all of u live blessed and chemical free lives bless up 😍😂

A few weeks ago I hyped up a anti perspirant called Tom’s North Woods. It smells absolutely wonderful and works great. HOWEVER. It got alumi...

Bad, Chill, and Drunk: this is my good boy HendriX. eDiSmahlove Pic: reddit u/bigfatpup rs Shout to the cheeto man I had him all wrong. I really did. He is in fact a brilliant leader, lemme splain u why. The average starting teach salary in this country is $36,141. For that amount per year she gotta come into work at a hella absurdly early hour like 5:50 am for no reason other than schools are still tied to the antiquated agrarian system where people awoke at sun up to take they kids to school and tend the crops. She gotta deal with all type of coffee breath from fellow coworkers. She gotta deal with Todd the kindygarten teacher with the terrible bicep tattoo and outdated nerd glasses like not the new joints that’s sleek but like the Randy Jackson joints who hit on every, single female teacher. She gotta deal with bad a$$ misbehaving kids. Angry helicopter parents. By the time Friday come around she so exhausted, so beat, so withered that the only thing she got energy for is to crawl home, pop that bottle of wine, pack that bowl, and text smash like “long week zaddy come beat the brakes off this lil Nani lol wyd tho don’t say Work nobody works on Friday 😤”. Ok Kristine, Mandy and Samantha chill Imma get to all of u sequentially in order LOL JUST KIDDING CHILL PEOPLE DAMN. Anyway in addition to all this stress and heartache for $36k-year the cheeto wanna give these poor young tings firearms and bulletproof vests to confront deranged murderers when they go on shooting rampages at schools. Now lemme get this straight. Video footage shows that the trained, armed cop that came to the school in Boca Raton was too scared to enter the school because this kid was firing extended clips off a AR-15. But Mandy, on her fourth cup of coffee because she still low key wine drunk on a Thursday morning bc she polished a bottle off the night before bc she couldn’t wait till Friday ... MANDY ... all 5 foot 1 of her ... is expected to strap a gun to her leg and do the work a trained cop won’t do and engage a killer brandishing an army rifle. Cheeto, I had u underestimated my dude! U are indeed a wondrous repository of good ideas and good leadership - I had u wrong! My deepest apologies. Nothing but respect for my president 🇺🇸😂😂😂
Bad, Chill, and Drunk: this is my good boy HendriX. eDiSmahlove
 Pic: reddit u/bigfatpup
 rs
Shout to the cheeto man I had him all wrong. I really did. He is in fact a brilliant leader, lemme splain u why. The average starting teach salary in this country is $36,141. For that amount per year she gotta come into work at a hella absurdly early hour like 5:50 am for no reason other than schools are still tied to the antiquated agrarian system where people awoke at sun up to take they kids to school and tend the crops. She gotta deal with all type of coffee breath from fellow coworkers. She gotta deal with Todd the kindygarten teacher with the terrible bicep tattoo and outdated nerd glasses like not the new joints that’s sleek but like the Randy Jackson joints who hit on every, single female teacher. She gotta deal with bad a$$ misbehaving kids. Angry helicopter parents. By the time Friday come around she so exhausted, so beat, so withered that the only thing she got energy for is to crawl home, pop that bottle of wine, pack that bowl, and text smash like “long week zaddy come beat the brakes off this lil Nani lol wyd tho don’t say Work nobody works on Friday 😤”. Ok Kristine, Mandy and Samantha chill Imma get to all of u sequentially in order LOL JUST KIDDING CHILL PEOPLE DAMN. Anyway in addition to all this stress and heartache for $36k-year the cheeto wanna give these poor young tings firearms and bulletproof vests to confront deranged murderers when they go on shooting rampages at schools. Now lemme get this straight. Video footage shows that the trained, armed cop that came to the school in Boca Raton was too scared to enter the school because this kid was firing extended clips off a AR-15. But Mandy, on her fourth cup of coffee because she still low key wine drunk on a Thursday morning bc she polished a bottle off the night before bc she couldn’t wait till Friday ... MANDY ... all 5 foot 1 of her ... is expected to strap a gun to her leg and do the work a trained cop won’t do and engage a killer brandishing an army rifle. Cheeto, I had u underestimated my dude! U are indeed a wondrous repository of good ideas and good leadership - I had u wrong! My deepest apologies. Nothing but respect for my president 🇺🇸😂😂😂

Shout to the cheeto man I had him all wrong. I really did. He is in fact a brilliant leader, lemme splain u why. The average starting teach ...

Advice, Crazy, and God: Quincy Jones Admits to Having 22 Girlfriends, Says They All Know of Each Other @balleralert Quincy Jones Admits to Having 22 Girlfriends, Says They All Know of Each Other - blogged by: @ashleytearra ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ After three marriages, QuincyJones is sure that he’s done with the faithful life. In fact, the divorcee has 22 girlfriends to prove it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In an interview with GQ Magazine, the 84-year-old entertainment mogul opened up about his love life, and none of us were mentally prepared for what he had to say. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I got twenty-two girlfriends,” he chuckles. “I was married three times, man. Was told not to marry actresses or singers. I ended up with two actresses—Peggy Lipton and Nastassja Kinski, and a superstar model. I didn’t listen to all the advice.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However—despite his marital past, Jones doesn’t have any plans to tie the knot again anytime soon, especially since it’d be extremely hard to narrow down such a high number of girlfriends to just one wife, right? We’d imagine so. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When asked if he was serious about having 22 lovers, Jones blatantly says, “Hell yeah. Everywhere. Cape Town. Cairo. Stockholm-she’s coming in next week. Brazil-Belo Horizonte, São Paulo, and Rio. Shanghai, [I’ve] got a great girl over there, too, man.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Surprisingly, all of the women know of each other, as Jones proudly admits that “he doesn’t lie.” And, allegedly, most of them are between the ages of 28 and 42. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ So, when the question came up about if he’d ever date someone around his age, Jones was quick to shut that down. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Are you crazy?” He gives the interviewer a startled look. “For what, man? There’s nothing; there’s no upside. You gotta be kidding. I got me some technology out there that keeps [the] fat and old away from here. [It] buzzes if they’re too old. But, you’d be surprised. These women, the young ones, are aggressive now. Oh my God, they’re fearless, man. All over the world.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As you can see, Mr. Jones is still a rolling stone, even in his old age.
Advice, Crazy, and God: Quincy Jones Admits to Having 22
 Girlfriends, Says They All Know of
 Each Other
 @balleralert
Quincy Jones Admits to Having 22 Girlfriends, Says They All Know of Each Other - blogged by: @ashleytearra ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ After three marriages, QuincyJones is sure that he’s done with the faithful life. In fact, the divorcee has 22 girlfriends to prove it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ In an interview with GQ Magazine, the 84-year-old entertainment mogul opened up about his love life, and none of us were mentally prepared for what he had to say. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “I got twenty-two girlfriends,” he chuckles. “I was married three times, man. Was told not to marry actresses or singers. I ended up with two actresses—Peggy Lipton and Nastassja Kinski, and a superstar model. I didn’t listen to all the advice.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ However—despite his marital past, Jones doesn’t have any plans to tie the knot again anytime soon, especially since it’d be extremely hard to narrow down such a high number of girlfriends to just one wife, right? We’d imagine so. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When asked if he was serious about having 22 lovers, Jones blatantly says, “Hell yeah. Everywhere. Cape Town. Cairo. Stockholm-she’s coming in next week. Brazil-Belo Horizonte, São Paulo, and Rio. Shanghai, [I’ve] got a great girl over there, too, man.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Surprisingly, all of the women know of each other, as Jones proudly admits that “he doesn’t lie.” And, allegedly, most of them are between the ages of 28 and 42. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ So, when the question came up about if he’d ever date someone around his age, Jones was quick to shut that down. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “Are you crazy?” He gives the interviewer a startled look. “For what, man? There’s nothing; there’s no upside. You gotta be kidding. I got me some technology out there that keeps [the] fat and old away from here. [It] buzzes if they’re too old. But, you’d be surprised. These women, the young ones, are aggressive now. Oh my God, they’re fearless, man. All over the world.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As you can see, Mr. Jones is still a rolling stone, even in his old age.

Quincy Jones Admits to Having 22 Girlfriends, Says They All Know of Each Other - blogged by: @ashleytearra ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ After three marri...