Benissimo
Benissimo

Benissimo

photo album
 photo album

photo album

whipping
 whipping

whipping

firstly
firstly

firstly

whips
whips

whips

were
were

were

ifs
ifs

ifs

hoping
hoping

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yours
yours

yours

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Florida Man, Target, and Tattoos: FLORIDA MAN Medium aberration, shapeshifter, chaotic evil Armor Class 10 Hit Points 85(15d10 3) Speed 40 ft., Swim (40ft.) CON CHA STR DEX INT WIS 17 3) 17 (-3) 17 (-3) 1 (-5) 1 (:5) 18 (-4) Condition Immunities paralyzed, poisoned, grappled, charmed, frightened, fatigued Senses Tremorsense (30ft) Languages Common, Deep Speech Challenge 5 (1,800 XP) Chaos Incarnate. When Florida Man becomes the target of a spell he rolls for an effect on the Wild Magic table Modern Cryptid Florida Man may appear as any humanoid indefinitely and can change it's appearance at will. It is not incredibly hard to spot, however, due to the deranged look in it's eyes and penchant to take on odd appearance traits (such as face and neck tattoos, unusual hair styles, and extremely poor oral hygiene). The Florida Man's true appearance is unknown, but it will collapse into 3d4 small alligators upon dying Actions Multiattack Florida Man makes two attacks each turn if it is able. Eat a Face. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5t, one target. Hit 9 (2d6 2). On a Successful Eat a Face attack, Flordia Man grapples the target Throw Something Ranged Weapon Attack: 2 to hit, reach 20ft, one target. Hit 15 (3d6 4) Florida Man will attempt to lift an unsecured object or person within 5ft. of it and throw it at a target. If a creature is thrown, they take no damage but are relocated. If no object or person is within reach, Florida Man will seperate a small aligator from its biomass and throw it monsters-and-more: dungeonmalcontent: Now updated with a few things that make it (in my mind at least) more fitting, functional, and terrifying. Legends.
Florida Man, Target, and Tattoos: FLORIDA MAN
 Medium aberration, shapeshifter, chaotic evil
 Armor Class 10
 Hit Points 85(15d10 3)
 Speed 40 ft., Swim (40ft.)
 CON
 CHA
 STR
 DEX
 INT
 WIS
 17 3) 17 (-3) 17 (-3) 1 (-5) 1 (:5) 18 (-4)
 Condition Immunities paralyzed, poisoned, grappled,
 charmed, frightened, fatigued
 Senses Tremorsense (30ft)
 Languages Common, Deep Speech
 Challenge 5 (1,800 XP)
 Chaos Incarnate. When Florida Man becomes the
 target of a spell he rolls for an effect on the Wild
 Magic table
 Modern Cryptid Florida Man may appear as any
 humanoid indefinitely and can change it's
 appearance at will. It is not incredibly hard to spot,
 however, due to the deranged look in it's eyes and
 penchant to take on odd appearance traits (such as
 face and neck tattoos, unusual hair styles, and
 extremely poor oral hygiene). The Florida Man's
 true appearance is unknown, but it will collapse
 into 3d4 small alligators upon dying
 Actions
 Multiattack Florida Man makes two attacks each
 turn if it is able.
 Eat a Face. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach
 5t, one target. Hit 9 (2d6 2). On a Successful
 Eat a Face attack, Flordia Man grapples the target
 Throw Something Ranged Weapon Attack: 2 to
 hit, reach 20ft, one target. Hit 15 (3d6 4)
 Florida Man will attempt to lift an unsecured object
 or person within 5ft. of it and throw it at a target. If
 a creature is thrown, they take no damage but are
 relocated. If no object or person is within reach,
 Florida Man will seperate a small aligator from its
 biomass and throw it
monsters-and-more:

dungeonmalcontent:

Now updated with a few things that make it (in my mind at least) more fitting, functional, and terrifying. 

Legends.

monsters-and-more: dungeonmalcontent: Now updated with a few things that make it (in my mind at least) more fitting, functional, and terri...

CoCo, Fuck You, and Gif: Blank Today at 11:11 AM what the actual fuck Windows 10 377 KB o Chazzie Today at 11:12 AM 2 Logan Sanders Today at 11:12 AM hxwko: aroace-from-space: greetings-fiends: spookyboiskully: hextalker: loopof-unhappiness: crows-in-the-sunset: rustybutterknife: cyan-magical-girl: thathighclassbitch: trans-bundle-bun: tryingmy-hardest: skinny-yoongi: alifeuncolored: imstillnotokay: yourelost-itsokay: thomassandersstolemysoul: weareallfandomtrash: wickedlimes: sporkklesofficialblogthing: midnight–fox: depressed-but-doing-my-best: youreverydayinternethobo: im-god-now-fight-me: i-think-im-bi-help: a-slightly-sad-egg: aetherial-incarnate: angel-of-songbirds: thedruidflimbarg: that-one-cryptid-01: once-upon-a-fuck-you: theepitomeofamess: fandom-random2405: spookussie: anxiety-has-anxiety: itsthemoooooooooon: teawithaura: coco-kyoko: 1darkodraco1: ectoimp: plushiegoo: tiny-little-pechen: blasticheart: saferoom45: you-know-thatguy: queennati: mango-sass: doodlindandandani: mickeydagrumpymouse: xincronity: caydebug: micaxiii: shrineart: issac-baldimore: ask-thebaldbo1: asktheawfulschoolhouse: spooky-blue-boi: saltylop: quartelz: gayest-child: alesstra: slushieboy-owo: myfnafstory: minieevee205: underfellgoat: mmtmsansfan: star-rcl: skyler-of-waffles: existenceisanillusion: memelord18: godhatesme-22: softcore-weaboo: shitty-shitposter: bsavaleria: scaredycat-hq: gerdzelinionia: usuallyblank: shrineart: chazkuangshi: :( :( WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS?? :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( ;( :( :( :( :( The Hell is this bullshit >:T its just a computer crashing get over it :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(  : ( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
CoCo, Fuck You, and Gif: Blank
 Today at 11:11 AM
 what the actual fuck Windows 10
 377 KB
 o Chazzie
 Today at 11:12 AM
 2
 Logan Sanders
 Today at 11:12 AM
hxwko:

aroace-from-space:
greetings-fiends:

spookyboiskully:


hextalker:


loopof-unhappiness:

crows-in-the-sunset:

rustybutterknife:


cyan-magical-girl:


thathighclassbitch:

trans-bundle-bun:


tryingmy-hardest:


skinny-yoongi:


alifeuncolored:


imstillnotokay:


yourelost-itsokay:


thomassandersstolemysoul:


weareallfandomtrash:


wickedlimes:

sporkklesofficialblogthing:


midnight–fox:

depressed-but-doing-my-best:


youreverydayinternethobo:


im-god-now-fight-me:


i-think-im-bi-help:

a-slightly-sad-egg:


aetherial-incarnate:


angel-of-songbirds:

thedruidflimbarg:


that-one-cryptid-01:


once-upon-a-fuck-you:


theepitomeofamess:

fandom-random2405:


spookussie:


anxiety-has-anxiety:

itsthemoooooooooon:


teawithaura:

coco-kyoko:


1darkodraco1:

ectoimp:


plushiegoo:

tiny-little-pechen:

blasticheart:


saferoom45:


you-know-thatguy:

queennati:

mango-sass:


doodlindandandani:


mickeydagrumpymouse:

xincronity:


caydebug:


micaxiii:


shrineart:

issac-baldimore:

ask-thebaldbo1:

asktheawfulschoolhouse:

spooky-blue-boi:

saltylop:


quartelz:


gayest-child:


alesstra:

slushieboy-owo:

myfnafstory:


minieevee205:


underfellgoat:


mmtmsansfan:

star-rcl:


skyler-of-waffles:


existenceisanillusion:


memelord18:


godhatesme-22:


softcore-weaboo:


shitty-shitposter:


bsavaleria:


scaredycat-hq:


gerdzelinionia:

usuallyblank:

shrineart:

chazkuangshi:
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WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS?? :(


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The Hell is this bullshit >:T its just a computer crashing get over it

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hxwko: aroace-from-space: greetings-fiends: spookyboiskully: hextalker: loopof-unhappiness: crows-in-the-sunset: rustybutterknife: ...

Tumblr, Blog, and Amazing: YOU Sugata Astapa YOU ARE AMAZING masochist-incarnate: syutaatara: This is for those who need support :3 No matter how I point it they’re always pointing over my shoulder
Tumblr, Blog, and Amazing: YOU
 Sugata
 Astapa
 YOU ARE
 AMAZING
masochist-incarnate:

syutaatara:
This is for those who need support :3

No matter how I point it they’re always pointing over my shoulder

masochist-incarnate: syutaatara: This is for those who need support :3 No matter how I point it they’re always pointing over my shoulder

Donald Trump, Driving, and God: gay victim soul @tragicgay Whenever I see news about how SNL or John Oliver or John Stewart "destroyed" Donald Trump my mind instinctively goes to this Vonnegut quote "During the Vietnam War, every respectable artist in this country was against the war. It was like a laser beam. We were all aimed in the same direction. The power of this weapon turns out to be that of a custard pie dropped from a stepladder six feet high." - feathersescapism: Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing these things in context. One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?” I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.” “My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.” Everyone else looked surprised and horrified. And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?” The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse. “What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?” The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.” “Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.” So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated. But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well. Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA. What the whole world would look like. Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god. If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there. (*if you’re curious: those stats count EVERY reported case of CPR, while the effectiveness of it is extremely time-related. With those who have had continuous CPR from the SECOND they went down, the number is actually above 80%. It drops hugely every 30 seconds from then on. When you count ALL cases you count cases where the person has already been down several minutes but a bystander still starts CPR, which affects the stats)
Donald Trump, Driving, and God: gay victim soul
 @tragicgay
 Whenever I see news about how SNL or
 John Oliver or John Stewart "destroyed"
 Donald Trump my mind instinctively goes
 to this Vonnegut quote
 "During the Vietnam War,
 every respectable artist in
 this country was against
 the war. It was like a laser
 beam. We were all aimed
 in the same direction. The
 power of this weapon turns
 out to be that of a custard
 pie dropped from a
 stepladder six feet high." -
feathersescapism:

Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing these things in context. 
One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?”
I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.”
“My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.” 
Everyone else looked surprised and horrified. 
And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?” 
The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse. 
“What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?”
The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.”
“Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.”
So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated. 
But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well. 
Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA. 
What the whole world would look like. 
Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god. 
If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there. 

(*if you’re curious: those stats count EVERY reported case of CPR, while the effectiveness of it is extremely time-related. With those who have had continuous CPR from the SECOND they went down, the number is actually above 80%. It drops hugely every 30 seconds from then on. When you count ALL cases you count cases where the person has already been down several minutes but a bystander still starts CPR, which affects the stats)

feathersescapism: Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing th...

Memes, Comics, and 🤖: MEPEOPLE-COMİCS Perfection incarnate (By @mepeople_comics) . . . . . . . . . comics dog perfect
Memes, Comics, and 🤖: MEPEOPLE-COMİCS
Perfection incarnate (By @mepeople_comics) . . . . . . . . . comics dog perfect

Perfection incarnate (By @mepeople_comics) . . . . . . . . . comics dog perfect

Batman, Fantastic Four, and Fucking: Colin Mochrie @colinmochrie Follow Why the shock that a woman can direct a great superhero film. After Fantastic Four, Steel, Batman vs Superman etc, it's shocking a man can RETWEETS LIKES 697 1,946 6:58 AM - 4 Jun 2017 from Brampton, Ontario 21 697 hellenhighwater: murdockmoogle: optimysticals: biteypyrotiger: systlin: love-order-chaos-repeat: Damn he came for their lives 😂 Holy shit I just witnessed Colin murder the entire movie industry.  I just saw a new episode of Who’s Line is it Anyway? in which other cast members made a transphobic joke where the punchline was “that woman has a penis.” Colin, who has a trans daughter, stood there and just repeatedly said “Really?” Until they apologized and redid their joke. Very small thing, but I appreciate the man. Colin is sunshine. And to think, I didn’t believe Colin Mochrie could earn more respect from me. You have to understand. Improv comedy has rules you follow. And rule number one, the Golden Rule: NEVER CONTRADICT. You never take what someone suggests and say “no, not that, this instead!” You never reply to a joke with “No, I don’t want to do that!” You roll with it. You ALWAYS roll with it. The ridiculousness added on top of ridiculousness peaks into a primo superdense ball of hilarity incarnate. And his reply to something offensive was “Nope. Stop the bit. Nope. Nope. Nope. You fucked up.” I’ll bet you money Wayne Brady would do the same if a white person on the show dropped an N-Bomb, and people would be understanding. Colin stood up for an oft-maligned group, whose members include one very personal to him, and completely ground that show to a grinding halt by saying “No. That’s not fucking funny.” and ruined the joke. This is a man who builds his entire career off of making jokes, and he /ruined another’s/. I’m sorry, Colin isn’t just a god amongst improv comics. He’s not just funny as all get-out and witty as hell. He’s a stone-cold badass, and he deserves recognition. Props, Mr. Mochrie. You, sir, are deserving of respect. I’ve worked with him (just briefly) and can confirm: he is just as excellent in real life as he seems here. 
Batman,  Fantastic Four, and Fucking: Colin Mochrie
 @colinmochrie
 Follow
 Why the shock that a woman can direct a
 great superhero film. After Fantastic Four,
 Steel, Batman vs Superman etc, it's shocking
 a man can
 RETWEETS LIKES
 697
 1,946
 6:58 AM - 4 Jun 2017 from Brampton, Ontario
 21 697
hellenhighwater:

murdockmoogle:

optimysticals:

biteypyrotiger:

systlin:

love-order-chaos-repeat:
Damn he came for their lives 😂
Holy shit I just witnessed Colin murder the entire movie industry. 

I just saw a new episode of Who’s Line is it Anyway? in which other cast members made a transphobic joke where the punchline was “that woman has a penis.” Colin, who has a trans daughter, stood there and just repeatedly said “Really?” Until they apologized and redid their joke. Very small thing, but I appreciate the man.

Colin is sunshine.

And to think, I didn’t believe Colin Mochrie could earn more respect from me.
You have to understand. Improv comedy has rules you follow. And rule number one, the Golden Rule: NEVER CONTRADICT. You never take what someone suggests and say “no, not that, this instead!” You never reply to a joke with “No, I don’t want to do that!” You roll with it. You ALWAYS roll with it. The ridiculousness added on top of ridiculousness peaks into a primo superdense ball of hilarity incarnate.
And his reply to something offensive was “Nope. Stop the bit. Nope. Nope. Nope. You fucked up.”
I’ll bet you money Wayne Brady would do the same if a white person on the show dropped an N-Bomb, and people would be understanding. Colin stood up for an oft-maligned group, whose members include one very personal to him, and completely ground that show to a grinding halt by saying “No. That’s not fucking funny.” and ruined the joke. This is a man who builds his entire career off of making jokes, and he /ruined another’s/.
I’m sorry, Colin isn’t just a god amongst improv comics. He’s not just funny as all get-out and witty as hell. He’s a stone-cold badass, and he deserves recognition.
Props, Mr. Mochrie. You, sir, are deserving of respect.

I’ve worked with him (just briefly) and can confirm: he is just as excellent in real life as he seems here. 

hellenhighwater: murdockmoogle: optimysticals: biteypyrotiger: systlin: love-order-chaos-repeat: Damn he came for their lives 😂 Holy sh...

Arguing, Bitch, and Fire: Lawful Tired Neutral Tired Chaotic Tired Lawful Stupid True Stupid Chaotic Stupid Lawful Bastard Neutral Bastard Chaotic Bastard envy-kitty: New alignment chart Lawful Tired: You’re tired but you’re going to wait for nighttime to go to bed even though it never works Neutral Tired: You’re tired and tbh you aren’t going to take it to extremes but you’ve thought about it and you take naps when you can Chaotic Tired: You’ve been tired for 50 years. You’re sleeping right fucking now. You stop doing something for two seconds and immediately nap. The house is on fire. Wake up, bitch. Lawful Stupid: You remember that one time you forgot your McDonald’s food was on the top of your car and you drove off with it on top? That. True Stupid: Ben Jerry’s grape ice cream. That one time you turned in a paper 5 days late and tried to argue that it was a misunderstanding. Chaotic Stupid: Putting your spoon in the microwave knowing full well that it would go up in flames but you needed the spoon to be hot so you could scoop ice cream easier. Lawful Bastard: You’re a bastard with a moral code. So you might not actually knock a child over but youre gonna laugh when the little shit falls over or you see it happen in a video. Neutral Bastard: You are a bastard in everything you do. Not extremely bastard, or too unbastard, but bastard enough. Your friend falls down a flight of stairs and you cackle. You run TheBootyDiaries account on tumblr. Chaotic Bastard: Bastard incarnate. You just are. Solas, Edward Elric, Meatloaf the Cat, Kirby. All bastards.
Arguing, Bitch, and Fire: Lawful Tired
 Neutral Tired
 Chaotic Tired
 Lawful Stupid
 True Stupid
 Chaotic Stupid
 Lawful
 Bastard
 Neutral
 Bastard
 Chaotic
 Bastard
envy-kitty:

New alignment chart

Lawful Tired: You’re tired but you’re going to wait for nighttime to go to bed even though it never works

Neutral Tired: You’re tired and tbh you aren’t going to take it to extremes but you’ve thought about it and you take naps when you can

Chaotic Tired: You’ve been tired for 50 years. You’re sleeping right fucking now. You stop doing something for two seconds and immediately nap. The house is on fire. Wake up, bitch.

Lawful Stupid: You remember that one time you forgot your McDonald’s food was on the top of your car and you drove off with it on top? That.

True Stupid: Ben  Jerry’s grape ice cream. That one time you turned in a paper 5 days late and tried to argue that it was a misunderstanding.

Chaotic Stupid: Putting your spoon in the microwave knowing full well that it would go up in flames but you needed the spoon to be hot so you could scoop ice cream easier.

Lawful Bastard: You’re a bastard with a moral code.  So you might not actually knock a child over but youre gonna laugh when the little shit falls over or you see it happen in a video.

Neutral Bastard: You are a bastard in everything you do. Not extremely bastard, or too unbastard, but bastard enough. Your friend falls down a flight of stairs and you cackle. You run TheBootyDiaries account on tumblr.

Chaotic Bastard: Bastard incarnate. You just are. Solas, Edward Elric, Meatloaf the Cat, Kirby. All bastards.

envy-kitty: New alignment chart Lawful Tired: You’re tired but you’re going to wait for nighttime to go to bed even though it never works ...

Alive, Animals, and Apparently: Motherhood denied Breaking the mother-calf bond is fundamental to all forms of dairy farming. <p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/165694169733/i-am-your-northern-star-dear-tumb1r" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://i-am-your-northern-star.tumblr.com/post/165693494927/dear-tumb1r-krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad" class="tumblr_blog">i-am-your-northern-star</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dear-tumb1r.tumblr.com/post/165688769552/krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad-kedreeva" class="tumblr_blog">dear-tumb1r</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://krakenpocalypse.tumblr.com/post/165684582701/crimsonclad-kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">krakenpocalypse</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://crimsonclad.tumblr.com/post/165654725553/kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">crimsonclad</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://kedreeva.tumblr.com/post/165653905615/palpablenotion-speedforcesensitive" class="tumblr_blog">kedreeva</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://palpablenotion.tumblr.com/post/165166115235/speedforcesensitive-satanstruemistress" class="tumblr_blog">palpablenotion</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://speedforcesensitive.tumblr.com/post/165165767368/satanstruemistress-vinato71-dustypumpkin" class="tumblr_blog">speedforcesensitive</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://satanstruemistress.tumblr.com/post/165022766332/vinato71-dustypumpkin-rossmallo" class="tumblr_blog">satanstruemistress</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://vinato71.tumblr.com/post/161293956968/dustypumpkin-rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">vinato71</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://dustypumpkin.tumblr.com/post/160300743192/rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">dustypumpkin</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://rossmallo.tumblr.com/post/160299092775/thehornedwitch-thesocialjusticecourier" class="tumblr_blog">rossmallo</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/160275346862/thesocialjusticecourier-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thesocialjusticecourier.tumblr.com/post/160263273220/thehornedwitch-somejane-namesnotfred" class="tumblr_blog">thesocialjusticecourier</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/159933662002/somejane-namesnotfred-gimmeacoldbeer" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://somejane.tumblr.com/post/109645584967">somejane</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://namesnotfred.tumblr.com/post/109005051111">namesnotfred</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gimmeacoldbeer.tumblr.com/post/72414064607">gimmeacoldbeer</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://kijikun.tumblr.com/post/72255066968">kijikun</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://striderwolf.tumblr.com/post/71894869320">striderwolf</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://crazyqueerclassicist.tumblr.com/post/71587090064">crazyqueerclassicist</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://north-american-weesnaw.tumblr.com/post/71571039829">north-american-weesnaw</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://friso1990.tumblr.com/post/71570538840">friso1990</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://catsteaks.tumblr.com/post/71409852369">catsteaks</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gorreality.tumblr.com/post/70881833496">gorreality</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>“I can’t be vegan, I love cheese”</p> <p>Dairy industry is as evil as meat. No less harm for animals. Does it look natural that calf can’t drink milk so you can taste your piece of cheese? </p> <p>GO VEGAN. </p> </blockquote> <p><i><b>WRONG</b></i></p> <p>That calf is wearing a nose tag. Nose tags are put on calves so that they are able to stay with their mothers longer, but are unable to nurse. They don’t NEED to nurse as they get older, they just get greedier and pushier and will bash up the cow’s udder and bruise it with their noses.</p> <p>This nose-tag is so that calves can stay with their mothers, their mothers can remain pain-free and healthy, and nobody is stressed.</p> <p>Educate yourselves you ignorant fucking tarts.</p> </blockquote> <p>…really? You don’t think it might have anything to do with the milk being stolen for human consumption? At all? Not even a tiny bit?</p> </blockquote> <p>Militant vegans can fuck right off</p> </blockquote> <p>Based on fur texture and face shape, that calf is at least six months old, probably older.  Calves can survive without actual cow milk even at three months, though older is better (calves weaned that early are usually fed a sort of formula for another couple months).</p> <p>Also, nose tags like that one don’t go through the cow’s septum.  They basically work like those fake septum rings for humans.</p> <p>In addition to weaning the calves, another use for nose tags is protecting non-lactating cows.  Sometimes weanlings or even adult cows will suck on themselves or other non-lactating cows; this can cause internal teat scarring bad enough to prevent that teat or teats from ever working.  I’ve seen this happen, and it’s ugly, probably at least somewhat painful, and, if bad enough, would lead to the cow being slaughtered at a very young age because she can’t produce milk, has chronic mastitis, and/or can’t be milked with automatic milking equipment.  So,<b> nose tags actually prevent animal cruelty</b>.</p> <p>Also, calves will suck on anything remotely oblong (and attempt to eat literally anything), even if they are being adequately fed or overfed.  Often they will suck on other calves’ ears, and, since ears are longer than teats and cows have upper as well as lower teeth in the back of their mouths, many calves get bites on their ears, which often become severely infected.  I’m not sure if nose tags would work there, because physics—a non-toxic but bad-tasting ear paint would be better—but yeah, letting a calf put anything it wants in its mouth is not always a good idea.</p> </blockquote> <p>reblogging for educational purposes.</p> </blockquote> <p>reblogging for people being schooled</p> </blockquote> <p>This was the funniest argument about false cruelty I have read.. Thank you. </p> </blockquote> <p>I love this for 2 reasons: Most people don’t realize that in farming areas agriculture/horticulture/animal husbandry is part of public school education from as early on as 7th grade. (Though I remember dissecting cow eyes in 4th grade science sooo) I assure you fifteen year old farm kids know more about what constitutes animal cruelty in farms than thirty year old vegans with, or without an agenda. </p> <p>Also that if you really want good quality beef/pork/eggs/milk/etc you don’t abuse your animals. Ever. That’s not the point and if you want to make any kind of money off your career choice, you are going to treat those creatures better than you treat yourself. You’ll call a vet five times for an infection in your herd before you visit the hospital for a missing foot on your own leg. </p> <p>So. Yeah. Watch out, because we’re getting internet access these days. We’re on tumblr too. </p> </blockquote> <p><figure class="" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_owsrk62QTZ1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"/></figure></p> <p>P.S. The immigrant workers farming your supermarket produce have no health care or legal protection, and the Bolivians farming your 365 Organic Quinoa can’t afford to eat it. But PLEASE won’t someone think of the poor baby cows who won’t get off the tit?!</p> </blockquote> <p>Also this is a LOT nicer than what mother cows do to calves that won’t be weaned. You know what mother cows do to calves that won’t wean? kick them in the head. Now I don’t know about vegans, but I’d rather have a nose tag that discouraged me from injuring my mother (because calves that don’t wean tend to chew on udders and make mother cows bleed) rather than being kicked in the head.<br/>Source: I grew up on a fucking cattle ranch. I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.</p> </blockquote> <h2>“I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.”</h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-tumblr-attribution="vegemaryam-blog-blog:dHMFQoiSWHRFiB-ADut1Hg:Z5ZE3yG4v53k" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/058afa51d891f3ae78ad77a706d4294e/tumblr_inline_owsrk7X9bI1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"/></figure><p>I’m sorry, what? What??? WHAT??? you can’t just leave it there please explain <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mE-H1ppiBm7u2G5sYjEGAxg">@thehornedwitch</a><br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Happy to explain!<br/>See, chickens are omnivorous. They eat bugs, plants, and meatstuffs. Y'know how crows and ravens and things eat meat? Well, chickens too. Ours had a particular fondness for ham when someone accidentally put it into the bucket of good scraps we set aside for the chickens. A bucket we tried to keep as meat-free as possible, because few things are more terrifying than a chicken looking you in the eyes as it scarfs down ham.<br/>Anyway, back to the mouse.<br/>One day i was doing Chicken Chores, like gathering eggs, putting out grain, emptying the bucket of greens, etc, when a mouse runs across the pen.<br/>All at once, eight or so chickens stop dead, look at it, and SWARM.<br/>Now I’m six at this point in time and developing a healthy fear of chickens, and so do nothing.<br/>By the time the chickens are done, all that is left of the mouse is its bones. I left the chicken pen very, very quickly.<br/>Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.<br/>They will also cannibalize each other with reckless abandon. Sometimes we just had to remove one chicken to its own private pen away from the others because no matter what we did, that specific one always tried to eat the other chickens. We had one that really liked other chicken’s eyes. Bear in mind, our pens ensured each chicken had about five to six square feet all its own if you managed to space every chicken out evenly, we never locked them in teensy pen things, and fed them LOTS. These chickens just really, really wanted to maim.<br/>Chickens that are not Buff Orpingtons are the devil. Buff Orpingtons are sweethearts. If you must have chickens, have that kind. And never get Guineas. Guineas are SATAN INCARNATE. THEY SMELL FEAR.</p> </blockquote> <p>Holy shit, I dont think I’ll ever use chicken as an insult again. </p> </blockquote> <p>Holy Shit, same here that is terrifying</p> </blockquote> <p>Will I’m using it as a compliment</p> </blockquote> <p>I love farm animals.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.”<br/></p> <p>If you’ve ever looked a chicken in the eye you know that they don’t just remember; they’re patiently awaiting the day they become dinosaurs again. </p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mbqnkKs3SqeMl1_0xhazmyQ">@kedreeva</a></p> </blockquote> <p>I have reblogged this before because watching farmers school vegans is always hilarious, but now we’re into birds, specifically fowl, and I have got <i>stories</i>.</p> <p> I had to give my turkey an antibiotic injection once upon a time, and she turned the needle puncture into a six inch by three inch hole in her back overnight as she attempted to <i>eat herself</i> because apparently turkeys find themselves to be delicious. She had to spend 3 months duct taped into a tea towel (the bandages underneath cleaned and replaced daily, mind you) until it healed because she would not stop ripping the bandages off to continue consuming herself. <br/></p> <p>Your chickens strip a mouse to the bone? Mine draw and quarter them and run around with the parts shrieking. My peacocks grab mice, beat them to death on the ground with this insanely fast back and forth head twisting motion, and then swallow them whole. You would not think an entire adult mouse would fit in their face, and you would be wrong.</p> <p>I knew a guy that used to regularly post photos of the 5-6′ long Copperhead snakes his peafowl would destroy. And I don’t mean kill, I mean <i>destroy</i>. These venomous snakes would get into the pens and the peas would just peck them into oblivion like nbd.</p> <p>Fowl didn’t just used to be dinosaurs. <i>They are still dinosaurs</i>.</p> <p>Thankfully they are small dinosaurs</p> <p>and we can just tape them into tea towels if we have to</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/acee3cfaed48d9fef00fcee900d458d3/tumblr_inline_owsrk7C8Bg1rw09tq_540.jpg" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"/></figure></blockquote> <p>BEGGING for a Jurassic Park reboot where farmers run the place instead of brogrammer scientists, and the raptors frequently get scolded and taped into tea towels</p> </blockquote> <p>Now I feel less guilty about eating chicken. It’s just pre-emptive self defense.</p> </blockquote> <p>Its also preemptive self defense to eat pigs because they will knock you over and eat you alive </p> </blockquote> <p>I had a friend in New Zealand who has some chickens (and one turkey named Pablo) on her land. One day she looked out her window to discover that Pablo had killed one of the hens, and kept returning to mutilate the body. There were chicken parts everywhere. He would drag what was left of the hen around the yard like he was proud of his work. They ended up getting rid of Pablo. </p> </blockquote> <p>WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT CHICKENS WERE SWEET LITTLE FLUFFS WHAT IS THIS SHIT</p> </blockquote> <p>Oh no, Birdy. Chickens are kind of evil. My dad still has a scar on his hand from being pecked by a chicken when he was six.</p>
Alive, Animals, and Apparently: Motherhood denied
 Breaking the mother-calf bond is fundamental to
 all forms of dairy farming.
<p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/165694169733/i-am-your-northern-star-dear-tumb1r" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://i-am-your-northern-star.tumblr.com/post/165693494927/dear-tumb1r-krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad" class="tumblr_blog">i-am-your-northern-star</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://dear-tumb1r.tumblr.com/post/165688769552/krakenpocalypse-crimsonclad-kedreeva" class="tumblr_blog">dear-tumb1r</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://krakenpocalypse.tumblr.com/post/165684582701/crimsonclad-kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">krakenpocalypse</a>:</p>
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<p><a href="http://crimsonclad.tumblr.com/post/165654725553/kedreeva-palpablenotion" class="tumblr_blog">crimsonclad</a>:</p>
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<p><a href="http://kedreeva.tumblr.com/post/165653905615/palpablenotion-speedforcesensitive" class="tumblr_blog">kedreeva</a>:</p>
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<p><a href="https://palpablenotion.tumblr.com/post/165166115235/speedforcesensitive-satanstruemistress" class="tumblr_blog">palpablenotion</a>:</p>
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<p><a href="http://speedforcesensitive.tumblr.com/post/165165767368/satanstruemistress-vinato71-dustypumpkin" class="tumblr_blog">speedforcesensitive</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://satanstruemistress.tumblr.com/post/165022766332/vinato71-dustypumpkin-rossmallo" class="tumblr_blog">satanstruemistress</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://vinato71.tumblr.com/post/161293956968/dustypumpkin-rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">vinato71</a>:</p>
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<p><a href="http://dustypumpkin.tumblr.com/post/160300743192/rossmallo-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">dustypumpkin</a>:</p>
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<p><a href="https://rossmallo.tumblr.com/post/160299092775/thehornedwitch-thesocialjusticecourier" class="tumblr_blog">rossmallo</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/160275346862/thesocialjusticecourier-thehornedwitch" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://thesocialjusticecourier.tumblr.com/post/160263273220/thehornedwitch-somejane-namesnotfred" class="tumblr_blog">thesocialjusticecourier</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://thehornedwitch.tumblr.com/post/159933662002/somejane-namesnotfred-gimmeacoldbeer" class="tumblr_blog">thehornedwitch</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://somejane.tumblr.com/post/109645584967">somejane</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://namesnotfred.tumblr.com/post/109005051111">namesnotfred</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gimmeacoldbeer.tumblr.com/post/72414064607">gimmeacoldbeer</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://kijikun.tumblr.com/post/72255066968">kijikun</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://striderwolf.tumblr.com/post/71894869320">striderwolf</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://crazyqueerclassicist.tumblr.com/post/71587090064">crazyqueerclassicist</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://north-american-weesnaw.tumblr.com/post/71571039829">north-american-weesnaw</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://friso1990.tumblr.com/post/71570538840">friso1990</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://catsteaks.tumblr.com/post/71409852369">catsteaks</a>:</p>
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<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gorreality.tumblr.com/post/70881833496">gorreality</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“I can’t be vegan, I love cheese”</p>
<p>Dairy industry is as evil as meat. No less harm for animals. Does it look natural that calf can’t drink milk so you can taste your piece of cheese? </p>
<p>GO VEGAN. </p>
</blockquote>
<p><i><b>WRONG</b></i></p>
<p>That calf is wearing a nose tag. Nose tags are put on calves so that they are able to stay with their mothers longer, but are unable to nurse. They don’t NEED to nurse as they get older, they just get greedier and pushier and will bash up the cow’s udder and bruise it with their noses.</p>
<p>This nose-tag is so that calves can stay with their mothers, their mothers can remain pain-free and healthy, and nobody is stressed.</p>
<p>Educate yourselves you ignorant fucking tarts.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>…really? You don’t think it might have anything to do with the milk being stolen for human consumption? At all? Not even a tiny bit?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Militant vegans can fuck right off</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Based on fur texture and face shape, that calf is at least six months old, probably older.  Calves can survive without actual cow milk even at three months, though older is better (calves weaned that early are usually fed a sort of formula for another couple months).</p>
<p>Also, nose tags like that one don’t go through the cow’s septum.  They basically work like those fake septum rings for humans.</p>
<p>In addition to weaning the calves, another use for nose tags is protecting non-lactating cows.  Sometimes weanlings or even adult cows will suck on themselves or other non-lactating cows; this can cause internal teat scarring bad enough to prevent that teat or teats from ever working.  I’ve seen this happen, and it’s ugly, probably at least somewhat painful, and, if bad enough, would lead to the cow being slaughtered at a very young age because she can’t produce milk, has chronic mastitis, and/or can’t be milked with automatic milking equipment.  So,<b> nose tags actually prevent animal cruelty</b>.</p>
<p>Also, calves will suck on anything remotely oblong (and attempt to eat literally anything), even if they are being adequately fed or overfed.  Often they will suck on other calves’ ears, and, since ears are longer than teats and cows have upper as well as lower teeth in the back of their mouths, many calves get bites on their ears, which often become severely infected.  I’m not sure if nose tags would work there, because physics—a non-toxic but bad-tasting ear paint would be better—but yeah, letting a calf put anything it wants in its mouth is not always a good idea.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>reblogging for educational purposes.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>reblogging for people being schooled</p>
</blockquote>
<p>This was the funniest argument about false cruelty I have read.. Thank you. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>I love this for 2 reasons: Most people don’t realize that in farming areas agriculture/horticulture/animal husbandry is part of public school education from as early on as 7th grade. (Though I remember dissecting cow eyes in 4th grade science sooo) I assure you fifteen year old farm kids know more about what constitutes animal cruelty in farms than thirty year old vegans with, or without an agenda. </p>
<p>Also that if you really want good quality beef/pork/eggs/milk/etc you don’t abuse your animals. Ever. That’s not the point and if you want to make any kind of money off your career choice, you are going to treat those creatures better than you treat yourself. You’ll call a vet five times for an infection in your herd before you visit the hospital for a missing foot on your own leg. </p>
<p>So. Yeah. Watch out, because we’re getting internet access these days. We’re on tumblr too. </p>
</blockquote>
<p><figure class="" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_owsrk62QTZ1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="160" data-orig-width="300" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ce70686fa4ad69e81e9c6bcd29fa12ff/tumblr_inline_nj0zcyv0go1r1k5tf.gif"/></figure></p>
<p>P.S. The immigrant workers farming your supermarket produce have no health care or legal protection, and the Bolivians farming your 365 Organic Quinoa can’t afford to eat it. But PLEASE won’t someone think of the poor baby cows who won’t get off the tit?!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Also this is a LOT nicer than what mother cows do to calves that won’t be weaned. You know what mother cows do to calves that won’t wean? kick them in the head. Now I don’t know about vegans, but I’d rather have a nose tag that discouraged me from injuring my mother (because calves that don’t wean tend to chew on udders and make mother cows bleed) rather than being kicked in the head.<br/>Source: I grew up on a fucking cattle ranch. I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>“I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.”</h2>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-tumblr-attribution="vegemaryam-blog-blog:dHMFQoiSWHRFiB-ADut1Hg:Z5ZE3yG4v53k" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/058afa51d891f3ae78ad77a706d4294e/tumblr_inline_owsrk7X9bI1rw09tq_540.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="230" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2rnxs2001qewskmo1_250.gif"/></figure><p>I’m sorry, what? What??? WHAT??? you can’t just leave it there please explain <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mE-H1ppiBm7u2G5sYjEGAxg">@thehornedwitch</a><br/></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Happy to explain!<br/>See, chickens are omnivorous. They eat bugs, plants, and meatstuffs. Y'know how crows and ravens and things eat meat? Well, chickens too. Ours had a particular fondness for ham when someone accidentally put it into the bucket of good scraps we set aside for the chickens. A bucket we tried to keep as meat-free as possible, because few things are more terrifying than a chicken looking you in the eyes as it scarfs down ham.<br/>Anyway, back to the mouse.<br/>One day i was doing Chicken Chores, like gathering eggs, putting out grain, emptying the bucket of greens, etc, when a mouse runs across the pen.<br/>All at once, eight or so chickens stop dead, look at it, and SWARM.<br/>Now I’m six at this point in time and developing a healthy fear of chickens, and so do nothing.<br/>By the time the chickens are done, all that is left of the mouse is its bones. I left the chicken pen very, very quickly.<br/>Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.<br/>They will also cannibalize each other with reckless abandon. Sometimes we just had to remove one chicken to its own private pen away from the others because no matter what we did, that specific one always tried to eat the other chickens. We had one that really liked other chicken’s eyes. Bear in mind, our pens ensured each chicken had about five to six square feet all its own if you managed to space every chicken out evenly, we never locked them in teensy pen things, and fed them LOTS. These chickens just really, really wanted to maim.<br/>Chickens that are not Buff Orpingtons are the devil. Buff Orpingtons are sweethearts. If you must have chickens, have that kind. And never get Guineas. Guineas are SATAN INCARNATE. THEY SMELL FEAR.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Holy shit, I dont think I’ll ever use chicken as an insult again. </p>
</blockquote>

<p>Holy Shit, same here that is terrifying</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Will I’m using it as a compliment</p>
</blockquote>

<p>I love farm animals.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>“Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.”<br/></p>
<p>If you’ve ever looked a chicken in the eye you know that they don’t just remember; they’re patiently awaiting the day they become dinosaurs again. </p>
</blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mbqnkKs3SqeMl1_0xhazmyQ">@kedreeva</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>I have reblogged this before because watching farmers school vegans is always hilarious, but now we’re into birds, specifically fowl, and I have got <i>stories</i>.</p>
<p>

I had to give my turkey an antibiotic injection once upon a time, and she turned the needle puncture into a six inch by three inch hole in her back overnight as she attempted to <i>eat herself</i> because apparently turkeys find themselves to be delicious. She had to spend 3 months duct taped into a tea towel (the bandages underneath cleaned and replaced daily, mind you) until it healed because she would not stop ripping the bandages off to continue consuming herself.

<br/></p>
<p>Your chickens strip a mouse to the bone? Mine draw and quarter them and run around with the parts shrieking. My peacocks grab mice, beat them to death on the ground with this insanely fast back and forth head twisting motion, and then swallow them whole. You would not think an entire adult mouse would fit in their face, and you would be wrong.</p>
<p>I knew a guy that used to regularly post photos of the 5-6′ long Copperhead snakes his peafowl would destroy. And I don’t mean kill, I mean <i>destroy</i>. These venomous snakes would get into the pens and the peas would just peck them into oblivion like nbd.</p>
<p>Fowl didn’t just used to be dinosaurs. <i>They are still dinosaurs</i>.</p>
<p>Thankfully they are small dinosaurs</p>
<p>and we can just tape them into tea towels if we have to</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/acee3cfaed48d9fef00fcee900d458d3/tumblr_inline_owsrk7C8Bg1rw09tq_540.jpg" data-orig-height="446" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/352a8867c23dad97f44a9011fac8fbb1/tumblr_nb6qmiuoCV1rc4grco1_500.jpg"/></figure></blockquote>
<p>BEGGING for a Jurassic Park reboot where farmers run the place instead of brogrammer scientists, and the raptors frequently get scolded and taped into tea towels</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Now I feel less guilty about eating chicken. It’s just pre-emptive self defense.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Its also preemptive self defense to eat pigs because they will knock you over and eat you alive </p>
</blockquote>

<p>I had a friend in New Zealand who has some chickens (and one turkey named Pablo) on her land. One day she looked out her window to discover that Pablo had killed one of the hens, and kept returning to mutilate the body. There were chicken parts everywhere. He would drag what was left of the hen around the yard like he was proud of his work. They ended up getting rid of Pablo. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT CHICKENS WERE SWEET LITTLE FLUFFS WHAT IS THIS SHIT</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Oh no, Birdy. Chickens are kind of evil. My dad still has a scar on his hand from being pecked by a chicken when he was six.</p>

the-mighty-birdy: i-am-your-northern-star: dear-tumb1r: krakenpocalypse: crimsonclad: kedreeva: palpablenotion: speedforcesensitive: ...

Children, Crying, and Family: llamajun: indigenous-rising: girljanitor: deducecanoe: haiweewicci: nativeamericannews: Sacajawea: If Not For Her, We Could Be Saluting the British Flag Few women in U.S. history have had more influence on the nation’s history than the young Lemhi Shoshone woman, Sacajawea. It’s very likely that Lewis and Clark would never have reached the Pacific Ocean had it not been for her help. White settlement would have been different. Indian wars throughout the western half of the country would have been altered. We might even be saluting the British flag rather than the American flag. Sacajawea’s role was gigantic. MY GIRL. She is of our tribe and we are so proud of her out in Inyo County. The Lewis and Clark thing was just a small part of her epic life. She was actually born with the name Poi Naipi (Little Grass Maiden). She and two of her friends (Nai Nukkwi, Patsu Naipi) were kidnapped by a hostile band of Hidatsa, who had a strange practice of replacing their own dead children with the children of other tribes. Poi Naipi’s “adopted” parents didn’t like her much so instead of sending her home they freaking sold her to a drunken French guy named Charbonneau. This man was bastard incarnate. To put this into perspective: He had once been stabbed in the face in Manitoba when he was caught raping a young girl there. At this time, being forced to marry him, Poi Naipi was about 9 years old. And, he already had one other child bride. He was very abusive, he drank a lot, and at some point Poi Naipi started calling herself Tsaikka Tsa Wea. It means in our language, “One Who Carries a Burden.” You see how this got corrupted to Sacajawea over time. At one point on the LC expedition Clark caught Charbonneau beating Tsaikka Tsa Wea and her newborn son. Well, Clark and Lewis beat the crap out of Charbonneau and told him to knock it off. Later, after the expedition, Clark paid for Tsaikka Tsa Wea’s son to go to school and live in his home. That’s not even the cool part though. As an older woman Tsaikka Tsa Wea said “To hell with this, I’m going home.” This was a pretty big thing to do, understand that she had practically been raised by her abusive scumbag husband and it is very hard for women who have been systematically abused since childhood to learn to stand up for themselves, especially against their aggressors. But, she did it. Traveling all by herself, she found the Northern Shoshone encampment on Wind River, where Chief Wusik-He was with some Eastern Shoshone (and some Western at the time) (this would later go on to be the permanent Eastern settlement, those guys are still out there today). She was reunited with her brother, who by that point had been named Daigwani of the Northern Shoshone. Everybody welcomed her home, her friends, her family, and she broke down crying to hear them call her their “Lost Woman” (Wadze Waipu). For her resilience and cunning she was appointed the personal advisor to Wusik-He. As a very old woman was buried with the name “Chief Woman,” later her son and her nephew were buried on either side of her. Those graves are still there on Wind River today. Poi Naipi and the Wide Ridge Clan, never forget you, your story is always being told. Miikwa katukan, tunna wunupuhantu tung’atiwan naangwunupuhantu Wow. What an amazing woman.  *tears* pilayayame tȟáŋtaŋhaŋ wičhówoyake rebloging for haiweewicci:’s comment. Unexpected feelings. That’s some powerful stuff, and not something I was ever taught in school.
Children, Crying, and Family: llamajun:
indigenous-rising:

girljanitor:

deducecanoe:

haiweewicci:

nativeamericannews:

Sacajawea: If Not For Her, We Could Be Saluting the British Flag
Few women in U.S. history have had more influence on the nation’s history than the young Lemhi Shoshone woman, Sacajawea. It’s very likely that Lewis and Clark would never have reached the Pacific Ocean had it not been for her help. White settlement would have been different. Indian wars throughout the western half of the country would have been altered. We might even be saluting the British flag rather than the American flag. Sacajawea’s role was gigantic.

MY GIRL. She is of our tribe and we are so proud of her out in Inyo County. The Lewis and Clark thing was just a small part of her epic life.
She was actually born with the name Poi Naipi (Little Grass Maiden). She and two of her friends (Nai Nukkwi, Patsu Naipi) were kidnapped by a hostile band of Hidatsa, who had a strange practice of replacing their own dead children with the children of other tribes.
Poi Naipi’s “adopted” parents didn’t like her much so instead of sending her home they freaking sold her to a drunken French guy named Charbonneau. This man was bastard incarnate. To put this into perspective: He had once been stabbed in the face in Manitoba when he was caught raping a young girl there. At this time, being forced to marry him, Poi Naipi was about 9 years old. And, he already had one other child bride.
He was very abusive, he drank a lot, and at some point Poi Naipi started calling herself Tsaikka Tsa Wea. It means in our language, “One Who Carries a Burden.” You see how this got corrupted to Sacajawea over time.
At one point on the LC expedition Clark caught Charbonneau beating Tsaikka Tsa Wea and her newborn son. Well, Clark and Lewis beat the crap out of Charbonneau and told him to knock it off. Later, after the expedition, Clark paid for Tsaikka Tsa Wea’s son to go to school and live in his home.
That’s not even the cool part though. As an older woman Tsaikka Tsa Wea said “To hell with this, I’m going home.” This was a pretty big thing to do, understand that she had practically been raised by her abusive scumbag husband and it is very hard for women who have been systematically abused since childhood to learn to stand up for themselves, especially against their aggressors. But, she did it. Traveling all by herself, she found the Northern Shoshone encampment on Wind River, where Chief Wusik-He was with some Eastern Shoshone (and some Western at the time) (this would later go on to be the permanent Eastern settlement, those guys are still out there today). She was reunited with her brother, who by that point had been named Daigwani of the Northern Shoshone. Everybody welcomed her home, her friends, her family, and she broke down crying to hear them call her their “Lost Woman” (Wadze Waipu). For her resilience and cunning she was appointed the personal advisor to Wusik-He. As a very old woman was buried with the name “Chief Woman,” later her son and her nephew were buried on either side of her. Those graves are still there on Wind River today.
Poi Naipi and the Wide Ridge Clan, never forget you, your story is always being told. Miikwa katukan, tunna wunupuhantu tung’atiwan naangwunupuhantu

Wow. What an amazing woman. 

*tears*
pilayayame tȟáŋtaŋhaŋ wičhówoyake

rebloging for haiweewicci:’s comment.

Unexpected feelings. That’s some powerful stuff, and not something I was ever taught in school.

llamajun: indigenous-rising: girljanitor: deducecanoe: haiweewicci: nativeamericannews: Sacajawea: If Not For Her, We Could Be Saluting...

Target, Tumblr, and Bank: SAVING BANK, RES kramergate:fear incarnate finds me even in the safe haven of the thrift store
Target, Tumblr, and Bank: SAVING BANK,
 RES
kramergate:fear incarnate finds me even in the safe haven of the thrift store

kramergate:fear incarnate finds me even in the safe haven of the thrift store

Ass, Fucking, and Gif: <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://happy-knight.tumblr.com/post/136156759491">happy-knight</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://oarv.tumblr.com/post/87378793402">oarv</a>:</p> <blockquote> <blockquote> <p>Purposely intimidating racist old white men on public transport.</p> </blockquote> <p>Well this is fucking awesome</p> </blockquote> <h2>HOLY FUCCCKK!!! DYYYYAMN !!!! WE WRECKT A PASTY WRINKLY ASS MAN!!!! </h2> <figure data-orig-width="408" data-orig-height="224" data-tumblr-attribution="fightashfight:FAWUR76u7JSdMv8IIjjH1A:ZdSJgk1tn8vcu" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/247274d4fbc880150a2cf54b97aa24bb/tumblr_nuc1q49Z8F1uun785o1_500.gif" alt="image" data-orig-width="408" data-orig-height="224"/></figure><h2> LOOK AT THAT HOW THOSE FIERCE WOC LEGS SCARE DEM WHITEY!!</h2> <figure data-orig-width="275" data-orig-height="201" data-tumblr-attribution="god-body:IuYq-sH-cj0Ko6pm4mV8Zg:ZkRlKw1JztURL" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/39b0eea3e9c59a74a379e14dacd62fd8/tumblr_n7vvjtmEPE1r8f85do1_400.gif" alt="image" data-orig-width="275" data-orig-height="201"/></figure><h2>HER PURSE AINT LETTING NO OL CRACKER BOY SIT NEXT TO HER ASS!!!</h2> <figure data-orig-width="340" data-orig-height="255" data-tumblr-attribution="the-beast-incarnate:ly161sR_9kYqMOu9lAJtRw:ZZB5lm1bZnOEy" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ca2722d1f0c91e10292299fc458946f2/tumblr_nipg2bQ95n1tjx66ko1_400.gif" alt="image" data-orig-width="340" data-orig-height="255"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Does he even look intimidated? They&rsquo;re just sitting on opposite sides of the aisle. And what in the world makes you think he&rsquo;s racist?</p>
Ass, Fucking, and Gif: <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://happy-knight.tumblr.com/post/136156759491">happy-knight</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://oarv.tumblr.com/post/87378793402">oarv</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p>Purposely intimidating racist old white men on public transport.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Well this is fucking awesome</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>HOLY FUCCCKK!!! DYYYYAMN !!!! WE WRECKT A PASTY WRINKLY ASS MAN!!!! </h2>
<figure data-orig-width="408" data-orig-height="224" data-tumblr-attribution="fightashfight:FAWUR76u7JSdMv8IIjjH1A:ZdSJgk1tn8vcu" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/247274d4fbc880150a2cf54b97aa24bb/tumblr_nuc1q49Z8F1uun785o1_500.gif" alt="image" data-orig-width="408" data-orig-height="224"/></figure><h2> LOOK AT THAT HOW THOSE FIERCE WOC LEGS SCARE DEM WHITEY!!</h2>
<figure data-orig-width="275" data-orig-height="201" data-tumblr-attribution="god-body:IuYq-sH-cj0Ko6pm4mV8Zg:ZkRlKw1JztURL" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/39b0eea3e9c59a74a379e14dacd62fd8/tumblr_n7vvjtmEPE1r8f85do1_400.gif" alt="image" data-orig-width="275" data-orig-height="201"/></figure><h2>HER PURSE AINT LETTING NO OL CRACKER BOY SIT NEXT TO HER ASS!!!</h2>
<figure data-orig-width="340" data-orig-height="255" data-tumblr-attribution="the-beast-incarnate:ly161sR_9kYqMOu9lAJtRw:ZZB5lm1bZnOEy" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ca2722d1f0c91e10292299fc458946f2/tumblr_nipg2bQ95n1tjx66ko1_400.gif" alt="image" data-orig-width="340" data-orig-height="255"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>Does he even look intimidated? They&rsquo;re just sitting on opposite sides of the aisle. And what in the world makes you think he&rsquo;s racist?</p>

happy-knight: oarv: Purposely intimidating racist old white men on public transport. Well this is fucking awesome HOLY FUCCCKK!!! DYYYY...

Complex, Memes, and Shazam: @dc__eu - Always the same complain about the DCEU Superman: "That's not Superman that Snyderman" "This Superman is emo" "not muh Superman" "I want my Superman to save cats out of trees, not be a complex character with depth and an actual character arc!" "Why can't WB take Superman back to the Reeve days?" They did that over a decade ago. It was horrifically stale and flopped. Real talk you know if the DCEU Superman infuriates you so much...don't go see the movies. It's not hard. No one's forcing you to see them. Go watch the old Reeve's (R.I.P.) Superman movies or Superman Returns.The DCEU Superman is the best and most accurate incarnation of the character. He's not some outdated and overpowered Gary Stu in red trunks like the alleged Superman "fans" (let's face it, they only think they know all things Superman because they watched an old movie) wanted him to be. He was raised by humans and as a result, he thinks like we do. He acts like we do. Sometimes he knows what to do. Sometimes he doesn't. He'll struggle to get back up but he will because he knows he has to. You can like Reeve. You can like Hoechlin. You're entitled to your opinion but just know that there's more to Superman than cracking jokes, smiling, and "sway" and as far as I'm concerned they all missed the point of the character. Don't believe me? Fine. Watch JLU, read the New 52 Superman, Action Comics Rebirth, Whatever Happened To The Man of Tomorrow, Secret Origins, Superman: The Man of Steel by Byrne, Superman: Earth One, Jurgens era of Superman, Superman: For Tomorrow, and then come back to me with the whole "Cavill is nothing like Superman but Hoechlin and Reeve are" statement. Learn to accept different versions of the character. Oh, and stop spreading misinformation that the other guys are based on the comics. They're not because in all my years of reading comics, Superman doesn't act like that. Never has. They are original characters at best and are basically more in line with SHAZAM than they are Superman.
Complex, Memes, and Shazam: @dc__eu - Always the same complain about the DCEU Superman: "That's not Superman that Snyderman" "This Superman is emo" "not muh Superman" "I want my Superman to save cats out of trees, not be a complex character with depth and an actual character arc!" "Why can't WB take Superman back to the Reeve days?" They did that over a decade ago. It was horrifically stale and flopped. Real talk you know if the DCEU Superman infuriates you so much...don't go see the movies. It's not hard. No one's forcing you to see them. Go watch the old Reeve's (R.I.P.) Superman movies or Superman Returns.The DCEU Superman is the best and most accurate incarnation of the character. He's not some outdated and overpowered Gary Stu in red trunks like the alleged Superman "fans" (let's face it, they only think they know all things Superman because they watched an old movie) wanted him to be. He was raised by humans and as a result, he thinks like we do. He acts like we do. Sometimes he knows what to do. Sometimes he doesn't. He'll struggle to get back up but he will because he knows he has to. You can like Reeve. You can like Hoechlin. You're entitled to your opinion but just know that there's more to Superman than cracking jokes, smiling, and "sway" and as far as I'm concerned they all missed the point of the character. Don't believe me? Fine. Watch JLU, read the New 52 Superman, Action Comics Rebirth, Whatever Happened To The Man of Tomorrow, Secret Origins, Superman: The Man of Steel by Byrne, Superman: Earth One, Jurgens era of Superman, Superman: For Tomorrow, and then come back to me with the whole "Cavill is nothing like Superman but Hoechlin and Reeve are" statement. Learn to accept different versions of the character. Oh, and stop spreading misinformation that the other guys are based on the comics. They're not because in all my years of reading comics, Superman doesn't act like that. Never has. They are original characters at best and are basically more in line with SHAZAM than they are Superman.

@dc__eu - Always the same complain about the DCEU Superman: "That's not Superman that Snyderman" "This Superman is emo" "not muh Superman" "...