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Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerf...

Creepy, Gif, and Lesbians: So, I know it's a standard Tinder question but I have to ask-are you a serial killer, and if so do you have reason for it? Only a serial killer would ask if serial killer. was Wednesday 8:28 PM Naw, I wouldn't be able to handle the hours. Unless you were looking for a colleague serial killer to bond with... I was going to say the latter but Wednesday 9:13 PM Hypotheticals it is then. If I you were a serial killer, what would be your M.O.? That you are a man. I'd want to be a siren. Ooooh, I like it, somehow you made that not creepy. I am impressed. Do Sirens work on lesbians as well? Aw damn. I have failed. Ummm, no. Idk. Maybe? Wednesday 9:44 PM This sounds like a slightly problematic writting prompt in a freshman creative writting class. You can still kill me if you want, especially the straight white kind. They are pretty underrepresented in the serial killer victim market That is the sweetest thing a complete stranger has ever said to me Ya, just put some sad music in your playlist...or set... or whatever sirens do. Haaa okay So on a scale of 1-5 how would you rate my creepiness? Wednesday 10:33 PM Either O or 10. I cant read non-verbal in text conversations. On a scale of 1-5. I am 98% enjoying the banter, but 1.5% of me is irrationally scared that I just invited you to murder me Wednesday 11:04 PM Do you think this conversation would hold up in court? No, but hopefully it will hold up on reddit Lol... Let me know what sub you decide to post this on I'm pretty sure if it gets enough Karma, it becomes a legal document and will hold up in court. Fingers crossed Type a message... GIF In the untimely event of my death…start here
Creepy, Gif, and Lesbians: So, I know it's a standard Tinder
 question but I have to ask-are
 you a serial killer, and if so do
 you have reason for it?
 Only a serial killer would ask if
 serial killer.
 was
 Wednesday 8:28 PM
 Naw, I wouldn't be able to
 handle the hours.
 Unless you were looking for a
 colleague serial killer to bond
 with...
 I was going to say the latter but
 Wednesday 9:13 PM
 Hypotheticals it is then. If I you
 were a serial killer, what would
 be your M.O.?
 That you are a man. I'd want to
 be a siren.
 Ooooh, I like it, somehow you
 made that not creepy. I am
 impressed.
 Do Sirens work on lesbians as
 well?
 Aw damn. I have failed.
 Ummm, no.
 Idk.
 Maybe?
 Wednesday 9:44 PM
 This sounds like a slightly
 problematic writting prompt in a
 freshman creative writting class.
 You can still kill me if you
 want, especially the straight
 white kind. They are pretty
 underrepresented in the serial
 killer victim market
 That is the sweetest thing a
 complete stranger has ever
 said to me
 Ya, just put some sad music
 in your playlist...or set... or
 whatever sirens do.
 Haaa okay
 So on a scale of 1-5 how would
 you rate my creepiness?
 Wednesday 10:33 PM
 Either O or 10. I cant read
 non-verbal in text conversations.
 On a scale of 1-5.
 I am 98% enjoying the banter,
 but 1.5% of me is irrationally
 scared that I just invited you to
 murder me
 Wednesday 11:04 PM
 Do you think this conversation
 would hold up in court?
 No, but hopefully it will hold up
 on reddit
 Lol... Let me know what sub
 you decide to post this on
 I'm pretty sure if it gets enough
 Karma, it becomes a legal
 document and will hold up in
 court.
 Fingers crossed
 Type a message...
 GIF
In the untimely event of my death…start here

In the untimely event of my death…start here

Bad, Dank, and Friends: omegle Talk to strangers You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle! You both like Memes. You: Hi Stranger: Hey You: Hiya Stranger: *Karate kicks* Hiya You: Ouch wtf man that hurt Stranger: Yeah, now give me my chicken tendies!! You: No! My chicken tendies *stuffs mouth with chicken tendies* Stranger: Mommy, he stole my tendies!!! Stranger: I'll buy them from you with my good boi points You: Ooh You: How about You: This You: If you solve my testu can keep them Stranger: Deal, mommy always says I'm specia in the head You: Okay You: 69 ? Stranger: Nice You: Minecraft? Stranger: Good You: Fortnite? Stranger: Bad You: Elon musk? Stranger: Is jesus You: Who calls you breathtaking? Stranger: Keanu Reeves You: How many upvotes will this get? Stranger: 7 You: Are you kust gonna scroll past without saying [Unrelated thing] Stranger: Loads LMG with religious intent* intent* Stranger: My spelling are shows you how serious I was You: I have_ friends Stranger: My mommy says not to lie, so you shouln't either You: Youtube ads are? Stranger: Fucking bullshit You: Reddit is? Stranger: The best You: the logo of the subreddit r/memes is? Stranger: Butter Stranger: Butter Stranger: If it hasn't changed You: Mods are Stranger: More gay than James Charles You: Huzzah! A man of culture! You passed with more flying colours than a mod orgy!! Here are your chicken tendies Stranger: Tendy Time!!! You: You also win the rights to post this on reddi to get your 7 upvotes You: Unless its your cake day You: Then u get 13 upvotes Stranger: Thank you, I hope we meet again someday. Until then live a great life Stranger has disconnected. Chicken Tendies by _Bond_1 MORE MEMES
Bad, Dank, and Friends: omegle
 Talk to strangers
 You're chatting with a random stranger on Omegle!
 You both like Memes.
 You: Hi
 Stranger: Hey
 You: Hiya
 Stranger: *Karate kicks* Hiya
 You: Ouch wtf man that hurt
 Stranger: Yeah, now give me my chicken
 tendies!!
 You: No! My chicken tendies *stuffs mouth with
 chicken tendies*
 Stranger: Mommy, he stole my tendies!!!
 Stranger: I'll buy them from you with my good
 boi points
 You: Ooh
 You: How about
 You: This
 You: If you solve my testu can keep them
 Stranger: Deal, mommy always says I'm specia
 in the head
 You: Okay
 You: 69 ?
 Stranger: Nice
 You: Minecraft?
 Stranger: Good
 You: Fortnite?
 Stranger: Bad
 You: Elon musk?
 Stranger: Is jesus
 You: Who calls you breathtaking?
 Stranger: Keanu Reeves
 You: How many upvotes will this get?
 Stranger: 7
 You: Are you kust gonna scroll past without
 saying [Unrelated thing]
 Stranger: Loads LMG with religious intent*
 intent*
 Stranger: My spelling are shows you how
 serious I was
 You: I have_ friends
 Stranger: My mommy says not to lie, so you
 shouln't either
 You: Youtube ads are?
 Stranger: Fucking bullshit
 You: Reddit is?
 Stranger: The best
 You: the logo of the subreddit r/memes is?
 Stranger: Butter
 Stranger: Butter
 Stranger: If it hasn't changed
 You: Mods are
 Stranger: More gay than James Charles
 You: Huzzah! A man of culture! You passed with
 more flying colours than a mod orgy!! Here are
 your chicken tendies
 Stranger: Tendy Time!!!
 You: You also win the rights to post this on reddi
 to get your 7 upvotes
 You: Unless its your cake day
 You: Then u get 13 upvotes
 Stranger: Thank you, I hope we meet again
 someday. Until then live a great life
 Stranger has disconnected.
Chicken Tendies by _Bond_1
MORE MEMES

Chicken Tendies by _Bond_1 MORE MEMES

Cheating, Children, and Energy: Ghetto Queen @_zolarmoon My sister has a whole homework packet & only did 1 pg... I asked her why & she said cus her class in a group chat & everyone does 1 page GIF 8130/17 8:11 AM cop-disliker69: zvaigzdelasas: hundondestiny: hearts-pearls: jehovahhthickness: melonmemes: We’re in 2017 but The Class of 2018 in 3018 Ok but this is even better this works for classes that arent prerequisites, or homework that wont come in a test. imagine not doing your algebra homework, and passing with a to calculus.  It’s not a matter of “not doing” the homework. You’re sharing the load for the same assignments, which means everyone gets to work through 1 thing on their own and then they can look over and learn from what the other students have done. Sharing homework isn’t the same as just cheating off a test, bc you still have to process homework as you’re doing it, and for some people it helps to know that what they’re doing is the right steps because then it’s easier to remember. Unlike traditional homework standards, where you turn it in and don’t know if it’s right until some time after, by which time you’ve already internalized your way of doing it, and if that’s wrong you have to retrain yourself. Which takes far more energy and really isn’t helpful. Especially when teachers will return grades as you’re taking another exam and shit. Also! You have other people’s grades somewhat reliant on you, which in-itself can b a motivating force Also! Homework is completely pointless and numerous studies have shown it doesn’t help learning at all. Schools with lots of homework, a little homework, and no homework at all do exactly the same on standardized tests. It’s a punishment and oppression that children are smart and morally right to attempt to evade by whatever means necessary.
Cheating, Children, and Energy: Ghetto Queen
 @_zolarmoon
 My sister has a whole homework
 packet & only did 1 pg...
 I asked her why & she said cus
 her class in a group chat &
 everyone does 1 page
 GIF
 8130/17 8:11 AM
cop-disliker69:
zvaigzdelasas:


hundondestiny:


hearts-pearls:

jehovahhthickness:

melonmemes:

We’re in 2017 but The Class of 2018 in 3018

Ok but this is even better 

this works for classes that arent prerequisites, or homework that wont come in a test. imagine not doing your algebra homework, and passing with a to calculus. 

It’s not a matter of “not doing” the homework. You’re sharing the load for the same assignments, which means everyone gets to work through 1 thing on their own and then they can look over and learn from what the other students have done. 
Sharing homework isn’t the same as just cheating off a test, bc you still have to process homework as you’re doing it, and for some people it helps to know that what they’re doing is the right steps because then it’s easier to remember. 
Unlike traditional homework standards, where you turn it in and don’t know if it’s right until some time after, by which time you’ve already internalized your way of doing it, and if that’s wrong you have to retrain yourself. Which takes far more energy and really isn’t helpful. Especially when teachers will return grades as you’re taking another exam and shit. 


Also! You have other people’s grades somewhat reliant on you, which in-itself can b a motivating force 


Also! Homework is completely pointless and numerous studies have shown it doesn’t help learning at all. Schools with lots of homework, a little homework, and no homework at all do exactly the same on standardized tests.
It’s a punishment and oppression that children are smart and morally right to attempt to evade by whatever means necessary.

cop-disliker69: zvaigzdelasas: hundondestiny: hearts-pearls: jehovahhthickness: melonmemes: We’re in 2017 but The Class of 2018 in 30...

Advice, Books, and Dallas Cowboys: generalgrievousdatingsim im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice generalgrievousdatingsim Things a Cowboy Should Not Do Here are some words to live by according to cowboys. Some are really good advice and all are funny cowboy sayings. Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings. Don't dig for water under the outhouse. Don't go in if you don't know the way out. Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you. Never drive black cattle in the dark. Never approacha bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you. like idk how accurate these are but somehow they manage to be both peak shitposting humor and genuinely helpful suggestions generalgrievousdatingsim If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it. If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't. Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back. Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy TipsTM ifunny.co Tap to see the meme
Advice, Books, and Dallas Cowboys: generalgrievousdatingsim
 im reading about cowboy phrases and
 sayings and like 95% of them are just solid
 life advice
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 Things a Cowboy Should Not Do
 Here are some words to live by according to cowboys. Some are really good advice and all are
 funny cowboy sayings.
 Don't squat with your spurs on.
 Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.
 Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
 Don't go in if you don't know the way out.
 Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.
 Never drive black cattle in the dark.
 Never approacha bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
 Never miss a good chance to shut up.
 Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.
 like idk how accurate these are but somehow
 they manage to be both peak shitposting
 humor and genuinely helpful suggestions
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
 It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it.
 If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.
 Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.
 Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
 Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
 The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket
 fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need
 to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy TipsTM
 ifunny.co
Tap to see the meme

Tap to see the meme

Advice, Books, and Dallas Cowboys: generalgrievousdatingsim im reading about cowboy phrases and sayings and like 95% of them are just solid life advice generalgrievousdatingsim Things a Cowboy Should Not Do Here are some words to live by according to cowboys. Some are really good advice and all are funny cowboy sayings. Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings. Don't dig for water under the outhouse. Don't go in if you don't know the way out. Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you. Never drive black cattle in the dark. Never approacha bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you. like idk how accurate these are but somehow they manage to be both peak shitposting humor and genuinely helpful suggestions generalgrievousdatingsim If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it. If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't. Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back. Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy TipsTM ifunny.co Tap to see the meme
Advice, Books, and Dallas Cowboys: generalgrievousdatingsim
 im reading about cowboy phrases and
 sayings and like 95% of them are just solid
 life advice
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 Things a Cowboy Should Not Do
 Here are some words to live by according to cowboys. Some are really good advice and all are
 funny cowboy sayings.
 Don't squat with your spurs on.
 Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.
 Don't dig for water under the outhouse.
 Don't go in if you don't know the way out.
 Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.
 Never drive black cattle in the dark.
 Never approacha bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
 Never miss a good chance to shut up.
 Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.
 like idk how accurate these are but somehow
 they manage to be both peak shitposting
 humor and genuinely helpful suggestions
 generalgrievousdatingsim
 If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
 It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it.
 If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.
 Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.
 Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.
 Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.
 The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket
 fuck self-help books and therapy, all i need
 to make it in life is my trusty Cowboy TipsTM
 ifunny.co
Tap to see the meme

Tap to see the meme