Has


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    
        

            

                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Lived
        

            
            Lived
        

    

    

         
Lived

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Are
        

            
            Are
        

    

    

         
Are

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        In A
        

            
            In A
        

    

    

         
In A

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Was
        

            
            Was
        

    

    

         
Was

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Thats
        

            
            Thats
        

    

    

         
Thats

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        My Dog
        

            
            My Dog
        

    

    

         
My Dog

    



                
                    
                    
                    
                    

    

        Your
        

            
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        🔥 | Latest
    

    
    

        

        
        

            

                




    Cinderella , Tumblr, and Blog: necrofuturism:

i-am-the-egg:

necrofuturism:

there was a moustache on the floor at the movie theater today…

Cinderella …

this comment has utterly undone me

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Cinderella , Tumblr, and Blog: necrofuturism:

i-am-the-egg:

necrofuturism:

there was a moustache on the floor at the movie theater today…

Cinderella …

this comment has utterly undone me

                
            

            
            
necrofuturism:

i-am-the-egg:

necrofuturism:

there was a moustache on the floor at the movie theater today…

Cinderella …

this comment ha...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Books, Doctor, and Elf: can p
 2.25, Indexes 1-9 (in case
 Fava his Own
 they aver do that was worth
 remembering? I mean,
 Doctor Doom is okay, but,
 ke, he's no Spinerette, eh?)
 3000.00
 1-3, 18.00, 4-6, 19.00 (does
 anybody really care? I mean
 these are just warmed over
 Kull stories, nght? Or is it
 Kull who's warmed over
 Conan? I can never
 remember.) 100-103, 10.00,
 104-106, 11.00, 107-109,
 12.00, 110-125, 13.00
 100-103, 10.00, 104-106,
 11.00, 107-109, 12.00,
 110-125 13 00 100-103
 realy Sne
 pleats nightin
 there the
 book
 That's what Fm askin' you
 ELEKTRA ASSASSIN
 1-4, lots and lots of money
 ELFQUEST
 you haven't memorized
 everything yet), 1.25, set 1-9,
 10.00, Chronicles (1982)
 1.50
 AVENGERS
 1, forget it! Even if I had one I
 wouldn't sell it to you. 2. Are
 you kidding? After the lame
 offers you made for the old
 Spider-Man stuff? 3, no way,
 Jose. 4, And you can forget
 this one altogether! (Captain
 Amenica) 5. m goin' straight
 to the recent stuff again. 140, WHAT...2 HOW...5
 150, 2.50, 151, 153, 154,
 8.00 (no reason) 200-202, 6,
 manbe 7 upks a piece. 203,
 Man 100-1
 104-106
 1-present, 1,00.00-se9, the ORDERING INSTRUCTIONS: This sd expirem
 12.00 110
 (1) All orders must be mailed in, temized
 Derek and/or Kate Smth in the nude We w
 ont have to This is cur ad so we play by ur e
 wolves died, and Richard
 and Wendy got evicted and
 we need to raise money for
 (2) Minimum mail order s $1000 00 Why sho
 them. In fact, don't even buy the sport or something? You thirk we lke comic
 the comics, just call
 paying for them, we're out ot here
 1-800-ELF-HELP and plecge (3) You must have a street address as wete
 iocal comic acednact Youm
 DON'T ASK
 QUESTIONS!
 WE'RE HEAVILY
 INTO THE ZEN
 SH-SHE-HULK!
 IT ONLY
 WORKS IFPOD o
 YOU DON'T a FOLLOW ME, anG
 NOW
 sAndm
 CON WHERE
 CHA S THIS
 1-6
 this ge
 Comprend
 RYSTA
 ! A ha! Hal Ha! Ha! Ha!
 !Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 to kno ALL OF
 THINK
 ABOUT IT!Foreign ak Ou
 that Canadiaihro
 PLACE 2/You wa F COMIC
 BOOKS
 A Your non
 y and youd ge
 at the Mint get a Spi
 99211 213, 215,
 oing to stop
 HERE for every last
 FTCKen I'm gonna start
 jacking up the prices on
 every book that has the High
 Evolutionary in it! In fact, I'm
 gonna jack up the prices on
 books that even use the
 "evolution!" 100-103, 1
 104-106, 11.00, 107-
 that stuff? Somebo
 pay for it!
 10.00, 104-10 11.00
 110-125
 10.00
 07-109.
 3.00
 104-106,
 S.12.00,
 $00 100-103.
 107
 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 a! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha
 al Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 You Want this?
 ewhole set, 18.00
 15
 12.00, 110-125, 13
 Y0-125
 T09
 3.00 100-103-10.00.
 04-106, 11.00, 107-109
 00, 110-125, 13.00
 03, 10.00, 104-106
 107-109, 12.00,
 5, 13.00 100-103,
 104-106, 11.00,
 109, 12.00, 110-125
 .00 100-103, 10.00
 04-106, 11.00: 107-109
 00, 110-125, 13.00 (
 100-103, 10.00, 10
 11.00, 107-109, 17
 110-125, 13.00
 10.00, 104-106
 107-109, 12.00
 EVIL
 re they still printing
 e? I thought they
 celled it after Miller left. I
 Ner cared for it much
 nyway. Expect for the
 hiddle period.. You know?
 When he was fighting, like,
 aliens and stuff? Now that
 was comics! 100-103, 10.00,
 125.
 00
 07-109,
 T125, 13.00
 03, 10.00, 104-106.
 1.00, 107-109, 12.00,
 110-125, 13.0O 100-103.
 13.001
 104
 TU125, 13.00 (yeah, I know
 the price is supposed to go
 24
Don’t think about it.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Books, Doctor, and Elf: can p
 2.25, Indexes 1-9 (in case
 Fava his Own
 they aver do that was worth
 remembering? I mean,
 Doctor Doom is okay, but,
 ke, he's no Spinerette, eh?)
 3000.00
 1-3, 18.00, 4-6, 19.00 (does
 anybody really care? I mean
 these are just warmed over
 Kull stories, nght? Or is it
 Kull who's warmed over
 Conan? I can never
 remember.) 100-103, 10.00,
 104-106, 11.00, 107-109,
 12.00, 110-125, 13.00
 100-103, 10.00, 104-106,
 11.00, 107-109, 12.00,
 110-125 13 00 100-103
 realy Sne
 pleats nightin
 there the
 book
 That's what Fm askin' you
 ELEKTRA ASSASSIN
 1-4, lots and lots of money
 ELFQUEST
 you haven't memorized
 everything yet), 1.25, set 1-9,
 10.00, Chronicles (1982)
 1.50
 AVENGERS
 1, forget it! Even if I had one I
 wouldn't sell it to you. 2. Are
 you kidding? After the lame
 offers you made for the old
 Spider-Man stuff? 3, no way,
 Jose. 4, And you can forget
 this one altogether! (Captain
 Amenica) 5. m goin' straight
 to the recent stuff again. 140, WHAT...2 HOW...5
 150, 2.50, 151, 153, 154,
 8.00 (no reason) 200-202, 6,
 manbe 7 upks a piece. 203,
 Man 100-1
 104-106
 1-present, 1,00.00-se9, the ORDERING INSTRUCTIONS: This sd expirem
 12.00 110
 (1) All orders must be mailed in, temized
 Derek and/or Kate Smth in the nude We w
 ont have to This is cur ad so we play by ur e
 wolves died, and Richard
 and Wendy got evicted and
 we need to raise money for
 (2) Minimum mail order s $1000 00 Why sho
 them. In fact, don't even buy the sport or something? You thirk we lke comic
 the comics, just call
 paying for them, we're out ot here
 1-800-ELF-HELP and plecge (3) You must have a street address as wete
 iocal comic acednact Youm
 DON'T ASK
 QUESTIONS!
 WE'RE HEAVILY
 INTO THE ZEN
 SH-SHE-HULK!
 IT ONLY
 WORKS IFPOD o
 YOU DON'T a FOLLOW ME, anG
 NOW
 sAndm
 CON WHERE
 CHA S THIS
 1-6
 this ge
 Comprend
 RYSTA
 ! A ha! Hal Ha! Ha! Ha!
 !Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 to kno ALL OF
 THINK
 ABOUT IT!Foreign ak Ou
 that Canadiaihro
 PLACE 2/You wa F COMIC
 BOOKS
 A Your non
 y and youd ge
 at the Mint get a Spi
 99211 213, 215,
 oing to stop
 HERE for every last
 FTCKen I'm gonna start
 jacking up the prices on
 every book that has the High
 Evolutionary in it! In fact, I'm
 gonna jack up the prices on
 books that even use the
 "evolution!" 100-103, 1
 104-106, 11.00, 107-
 that stuff? Somebo
 pay for it!
 10.00, 104-10 11.00
 110-125
 10.00
 07-109.
 3.00
 104-106,
 S.12.00,
 $00 100-103.
 107
 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 a! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha
 al Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 You Want this?
 ewhole set, 18.00
 15
 12.00, 110-125, 13
 Y0-125
 T09
 3.00 100-103-10.00.
 04-106, 11.00, 107-109
 00, 110-125, 13.00
 03, 10.00, 104-106
 107-109, 12.00,
 5, 13.00 100-103,
 104-106, 11.00,
 109, 12.00, 110-125
 .00 100-103, 10.00
 04-106, 11.00: 107-109
 00, 110-125, 13.00 (
 100-103, 10.00, 10
 11.00, 107-109, 17
 110-125, 13.00
 10.00, 104-106
 107-109, 12.00
 EVIL
 re they still printing
 e? I thought they
 celled it after Miller left. I
 Ner cared for it much
 nyway. Expect for the
 hiddle period.. You know?
 When he was fighting, like,
 aliens and stuff? Now that
 was comics! 100-103, 10.00,
 125.
 00
 07-109,
 T125, 13.00
 03, 10.00, 104-106.
 1.00, 107-109, 12.00,
 110-125, 13.0O 100-103.
 13.001
 104
 TU125, 13.00 (yeah, I know
 the price is supposed to go
 24
Don’t think about it.
                
            

            
            
Don’t think about it.

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bad, Be Like, and Dad: In Case of "B"
 Break Glass
 My daughter is currently pulling a D- in math. This is her phone.
galexion:

handmetheshovel:
thatguyinthecornerino:

randomavengersquotes:

lolnerdsposts:

robanilla:


justsomeonereloadable:

thesecretkeith:

blanketfortprincette:

tastefullyoffensive:

(photo by fistfullofcookies)

Why do parents always assume their kid is lazy when they get bad grades? Like maybe help your kids by talking to them, not punishing them. This is how I failed math and didn’t even know I had number dyslexia for years.

When my sister was in high school she struggled a LOT with math. Like I know a lot of people find it really difficult (myself included), but I mean she was really really bad at it. She has always been a very smart, creative and sensitive person, but math made no sense to her, to the point where passing seemed impossible.
I will always remember that twice a week, around the kitchen table, my sister would sit down with my dad for hours, and they would try to work out her math homework. I should mention that my dad is an artist, and art teacher. Truth be told I think he struggled with math just as much if not more then she did. But twice a week you could hear them downstairs, going back and forth, trying to figure it out together. Some nights would be smooth and easy, some nights I could hear them arguing from one floor up about factors or equations, not in anger but in mutual frustration.
I remember the day that she passed. My sister couldn’t wait until my dad’s school day ended, so she called him at work. She gleefully announced to him “I got a D-!”. We could hear him through the phone as he exclaimed “She got a D!” excitedly to his class. Still through the phone we heard his students clapping, laughing and whooping in congratulations. Seldom has a grade in our household been so celebrated.
Just thought a shitty picture like this should be accompanied by a story about a person’s parents who actually gave a shit about helping their kid instead of mocking and punishing them.


Read the story


Read the story


Read the story 


reblogging for the story. READ IT.


THE STORY


If it weren’t for my dad I would not be able to read and write. I was born1971 and people really didn’t know or care that some people struggle not because they are lazy but they just fuckin’ can’t do what comes easy to most.
My dad did what that father did. 
Dad was working 12/14/16 hour days.
And still… he sat down and read up on shit, talked to my teacher - and then he saved me. Reading has made me. I am a reader. The one thing people know about me is: she reads.  
Be like dad.
Don’t be a tit.


R E A DT h eS T O R Y
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Be Like, and Dad: In Case of "B"
 Break Glass
 My daughter is currently pulling a D- in math. This is her phone.
galexion:

handmetheshovel:
thatguyinthecornerino:

randomavengersquotes:

lolnerdsposts:

robanilla:


justsomeonereloadable:

thesecretkeith:

blanketfortprincette:

tastefullyoffensive:

(photo by fistfullofcookies)

Why do parents always assume their kid is lazy when they get bad grades? Like maybe help your kids by talking to them, not punishing them. This is how I failed math and didn’t even know I had number dyslexia for years.

When my sister was in high school she struggled a LOT with math. Like I know a lot of people find it really difficult (myself included), but I mean she was really really bad at it. She has always been a very smart, creative and sensitive person, but math made no sense to her, to the point where passing seemed impossible.
I will always remember that twice a week, around the kitchen table, my sister would sit down with my dad for hours, and they would try to work out her math homework. I should mention that my dad is an artist, and art teacher. Truth be told I think he struggled with math just as much if not more then she did. But twice a week you could hear them downstairs, going back and forth, trying to figure it out together. Some nights would be smooth and easy, some nights I could hear them arguing from one floor up about factors or equations, not in anger but in mutual frustration.
I remember the day that she passed. My sister couldn’t wait until my dad’s school day ended, so she called him at work. She gleefully announced to him “I got a D-!”. We could hear him through the phone as he exclaimed “She got a D!” excitedly to his class. Still through the phone we heard his students clapping, laughing and whooping in congratulations. Seldom has a grade in our household been so celebrated.
Just thought a shitty picture like this should be accompanied by a story about a person’s parents who actually gave a shit about helping their kid instead of mocking and punishing them.


Read the story


Read the story


Read the story 


reblogging for the story. READ IT.


THE STORY


If it weren’t for my dad I would not be able to read and write. I was born1971 and people really didn’t know or care that some people struggle not because they are lazy but they just fuckin’ can’t do what comes easy to most.
My dad did what that father did. 
Dad was working 12/14/16 hour days.
And still… he sat down and read up on shit, talked to my teacher - and then he saved me. Reading has made me. I am a reader. The one thing people know about me is: she reads.  
Be like dad.
Don’t be a tit.


R E A DT h eS T O R Y
                
            

            
            
galexion:

handmetheshovel:
thatguyinthecornerino:

randomavengersquotes:

lolnerdsposts:

robanilla:


justsomeonereloadable:

thesecretkei...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills


                
            

            
            
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills



            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
                
            

            
            
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Being Alone, Radio, and The Worst: |HOW TO
 CRASH-LAND
 A PLANE ON WATER
 These instructions apply to small passenger propeller
 planes (not commercial airliners).
 1 Take your place at the controls.
 If the plane has dual controls, the pilot will be in the
 left seat. Sit on the right. If the plane has only one
 set of controls and the pilot is unconscious, remove
 the pilot from the pilot's seat. Securely fasten your
 seat belt.
 2 Put on the radio headset (if there is one) and call
 for help.
 There will be a control button on the yoke (the
 plane's steering wheel) or a CB-like microphone on
 the instrument panel. Depress the button to talk
 release it to listen. Say "Mayday! Mayday!" and give
 your situation, destination, and plane call numbers
 (which should be printed on the top of the instru-
 ment panel). If you get no response, try again on
 the emergency channel, 121.5. The person on the
 other end should be able to talk you through proper
 landing procedures. If you cannot reach someone to
 talk you through the landing process, you will have
 to do it alone.

 beading
 airspeed indicator
 altimeter
 fuel gauge
 yoke
 throttle
 landing gear
 3 Get your bearings and identify the instruments.
 YOKE. This is the steering wheel, and it should be in
 front of you. The yoke turns the plane and controls its
 pitch. Pull back on the column to bring the nose up,
 push forward to point it down. Turn it left to turn the
 plane left, turn it right to turn the plane right. The
 yoke is very sensitive-move it only an inch or two in
 either direction to turn the plane. While cruising, the
 nose of the plane should be about three inches below
 the horizon.
 ф
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills


                
            

            
            
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills