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    Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bad, Cats, and Doctor: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 New Aad
 Cl Ad
 F Sn
 Epem
 MAN
 SKILLS
 By Joshua Pives, Dvid Bergenich
 &Ben H. Wioiss
 THE COAIPLETE

 How To GIVE A DoG THE
 How to Perform the Heimlich
 HEIMLICH MANEUVER
 Maneuver on Your Cat
 1 Check for throat obstructions
 Open the dog's mouth and inspect the back of the throat,
 looking for the object causing the obstruction. If you see
 it, carefully
 tongue forward for a better view
 Kneel and hold the cat
 in front of you, close
 to your chest. Place
 one forearm under the
 remove it. If the dog is unconscious, pull the
 cat's front legs and
 hold him up and out-
 stretched, facing away
 2 Shake the obstruction free
 If the dog is smal, pick him up and hold him by the hips
 with his head hanging down. For larger dogs, hold the hind
 legs
 from you. Place the
 fist of your other hand
 just below the bottom
 so that the head hangs down. If this fails to dislodge the
 obstruction, place the dog back on the ground and proceed
 the next step.
 to
 rib. Give two or three
 3 Place your arms around the dog's waist.
 With the dog standing
 together around the stomach, placing them just below the
 last rib
 quick, firm pushes
 inward to force the air
 lying down, clasp your hands
 or
 out of the lungs and
 dislodge the object
 4 Compress the stomach
 Push up five times rapidly
 How To SAVE YOURSELF
 5 Check for an obstruction
 Sweep the dog's mouth with your fingers to see if the object
 dislodged
 FROM CHOKING
 was
 1 Try to talk.
 you can talk or are able to vocalize in any way, or if you
 make a sound when coughing, your airway is not completely
 blocked and you are not in imminent danger of death. Keep
 coughing to dislo dge the stuck material. If you cannot
 make any sounds, you will need to perform the one-person
 Heimlich maneuver
 6 Repeat.
 If the object has not come free, strike the dog firmly
 If
 between the shoulder blades with the flat side of one
 hand, and then do another five abdominal compressions
 Alternate the back-slapping and compressions until the
 object is knocked free
 2 Quickly locate a blunt object at waist level.
 If you are indoors, find a chair, table, counter, or other
 piece of furniture; if you are outside, look for a tall tree
 stump, fence, ledge, or large rock
 3 Face the object.
 4 Bend over the object.
 Lean so that the object touches your body six inches above
 your navel
 5 Fall
 Let yourself drop forward hard and fast onto the object
 This movement should force the air up your windpipe and
 eject the item that is blocking your airway
 Place your arms around the dog's waist below
 the last rib and compress the stomach
 WARNING!
 An unconscious dog may sill bite reflexively. Be careful when
 sweeping the mouth. When jarring the obstruction free by striking
 the dog, do not hit him so hard as to injure him.
 choking 69

 How To TREAT SUNBURN
 1 Remove the clothing around the affected area. Do not
 apply any suntan lotion to the burn.
 Clothing irritates the skin, and the lotion will only prevent
 the skin from getting much-needed exposure to the cool-
 How To DEAL WITH
 INSOMNIA
 ing air
 Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.
 Stretch or do light exercise an hour before
 2 Put a cool compress
 on the sunburn
 Soak your shirt or another available cloth in cold water and
 apply it to the affected area. If the burn is especially bad,
 wrap the shirt around an ice pack and use it as a compress
 bed.
 A gentle workout relaxes muscle tension
 Take a warm bath.
 A bedsheet s0aked in ice water is also effective if the burn
 area is very large
 Eat a bedtime snack.
 Drink warm milk or herbal tea.
 3 Drink three to six ounces of water.
 Cover illuminated clocks
 Drinking water will prevent dehydration and help
 the skin by promoting sweating.
 to cool
 Lie on your back, rub your stomach, flex your
 to es.
 4 Apply a soothing gel or ointment to the sunburn.
 Aloe lotion is ideal. You can refrigerate it first so that it
 feels cool to the skin
 Think pleasant thoughts.
 oCount sheep.
 5 Take a pain pill and lie still
 Ibuprofen will1 help alleviate the pain around the sunburn
 Lie in a position that exposes the affected area to the air
 6 Seek medical attention if your symptoms are serious
 Dizziness, sensitivity to light, quick pulse or rapid breath
 ing, clammy skin, rash, fever, chills, and nausea are all
 symptoms that could point to something
 sunburn. If you experience these symptoms, call a doctor
 How to Cure Hiccups
 worse than a ild
 WARNING!
 Always
 higher. Apply it approximately three minutes before going out into
 the sun.
 use sunscreen with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 15 or
 NAvoid exposure in the late morning and early afternoon, when
 the sun is at its hottest. Bear in mind that the rays of the sun are
 stronger near the equator and at high altitudes.
 Lengthy exposure to the sun can cause not only sunburn but also
 heat exhaustion, a fairly mild illness. More serious is heatstroke,
 which can be fatal. Symptoms of both conditions include fever and
 sweating, but mental confusion is a sign that the heat exhaustion
 has progressed to heatstroke
 NA new layer of skin will replace the sunburned skin in as little as
 two days or as long
 the burn
 Fill a tall glass with water
 front of you, lean forward over the glass
 mouth is on the rim farthest away from you. Tilt
 Holding the glass in
 so that your
 as two weeks, depending upon the severity of
 the glass so that the bottom moves toward you and
 the top away from you; drink the water as it moves
 toward the front of the glass
 ailments 51
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills
                
            

            
            
awesomage:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Anna, Bodies , and Fucking: Shells&Emotions
 @anna_bayla
 My favorite bible story is when instead
 of telling women to dress modestly,
 Jesus tells his dudes to avoid lust by
 plucking their eyes out
 5/13/16, 1:44 AM
 986 RETWEETS 1,759 LIKES
corporationsarepeople:
dinosaurrainbowstarfish:

beachfox:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

ffermented-salmonella:

goddessolga:

since1938:
My man Jesus

What story is that?

Matthew 18:9

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”
“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”
“wut”
“What?”
“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”
“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”
“Uh….”
“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

He goes on for like several examples too.
“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”
“Cut it off.”
“wut”
“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”
“wut”
“What”


“Did I fucking stutter?”

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anna, Bodies , and Fucking: Shells&Emotions
 @anna_bayla
 My favorite bible story is when instead
 of telling women to dress modestly,
 Jesus tells his dudes to avoid lust by
 plucking their eyes out
 5/13/16, 1:44 AM
 986 RETWEETS 1,759 LIKES
corporationsarepeople:
dinosaurrainbowstarfish:

beachfox:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

ffermented-salmonella:

goddessolga:

since1938:
My man Jesus

What story is that?

Matthew 18:9

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”
“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”
“wut”
“What?”
“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”
“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”
“Uh….”
“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

He goes on for like several examples too.
“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”
“Cut it off.”
“wut”
“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”
“wut”
“What”


“Did I fucking stutter?”

                
            

            
            
corporationsarepeople:
dinosaurrainbowstarfish:

beachfox:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

ffermented-salmonella:

goddessolga:

since19...

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:
rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:
rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

                
            

            
            
arianod:
rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

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    Anime, Apple, and Birthday: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566
 story time because I want to share and it's a
 special day
 be me, 22, KHHV, NEET
 no real purpose in life, autistic
 >live in a small town but still don't know anyone
 >down the street is a harvest festival going on
 go there on a whim
 see nice old man making caramel apples hand
 dipped
 >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l
 ow
 saved up
 >it's really good
 we talk about caramel apples
 >his name is Ted
 >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples
 enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM
 >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them
 >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too
 Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does
 >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident
 we talk every day about apples and candy
 >he gets me into football
 we watch football together, he lets me show him anime
 >7 years pass
 >I've been there the longest
 Ted doesn't come to work, I call him
 No response, I go to his house
 >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor
 call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital
 cry for days because my only friend is gone
 >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me
 >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud"
 >burst into tears in front of lawyer
 every day I go to that factory to work hard
 >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday
 Still KHHV, but I love making apples
 >Whole town knows me as the apple man
 Never been happier making caramel apples
 Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time
 for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm
 making you proud.
this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anime, Apple, and Birthday: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566
 story time because I want to share and it's a
 special day
 be me, 22, KHHV, NEET
 no real purpose in life, autistic
 >live in a small town but still don't know anyone
 >down the street is a harvest festival going on
 go there on a whim
 see nice old man making caramel apples hand
 dipped
 >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l
 ow
 saved up
 >it's really good
 we talk about caramel apples
 >his name is Ted
 >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples
 enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM
 >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them
 >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too
 Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does
 >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident
 we talk every day about apples and candy
 >he gets me into football
 we watch football together, he lets me show him anime
 >7 years pass
 >I've been there the longest
 Ted doesn't come to work, I call him
 No response, I go to his house
 >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor
 call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital
 cry for days because my only friend is gone
 >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me
 >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud"
 >burst into tears in front of lawyer
 every day I go to that factory to work hard
 >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday
 Still KHHV, but I love making apples
 >Whole town knows me as the apple man
 Never been happier making caramel apples
 Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time
 for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm
 making you proud.
this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)
                
            

            
            
this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)

            
            
        

    



            

        

        
        

            

                



            

        

        
        

            

                




    Anime, Apple, and Birthday: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566
 story time because I want to share and it's a
 special day
 be me, 22, KHHV, NEET
 no real purpose in life, autistic
 >live in a small town but still don't know anyone
 >down the street is a harvest festival going on
 go there on a whim
 see nice old man making caramel apples hand
 dipped
 >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l
 ow
 saved up
 >it's really good
 we talk about caramel apples
 >his name is Ted
 >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples
 enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM
 >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them
 >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too
 Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does
 >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident
 we talk every day about apples and candy
 >he gets me into football
 we watch football together, he lets me show him anime
 >7 years pass
 >I've been there the longest
 Ted doesn't come to work, I call him
 No response, I go to his house
 >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor
 call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital
 cry for days because my only friend is gone
 >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me
 >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud"
 >burst into tears in front of lawyer
 every day I go to that factory to work hard
 >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday
 Still KHHV, but I love making apples
 >Whole town knows me as the apple man
 Never been happier making caramel apples
 Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time
 for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm
 making you proud.
this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anime, Apple, and Birthday: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)20:56:36 No.55046566
 story time because I want to share and it's a
 special day
 be me, 22, KHHV, NEET
 no real purpose in life, autistic
 >live in a small town but still don't know anyone
 >down the street is a harvest festival going on
 go there on a whim
 see nice old man making caramel apples hand
 dipped
 >i go over and buy one with some pocket change l
 ow
 saved up
 >it's really good
 we talk about caramel apples
 >his name is Ted
 >he asks if I'd like to help him make apples
 enthusiastically say yes, go to a factory next day at 9 AM
 >I get to dip the apples and put the sticks on them
 >I box them up and sell them, get to decorate them too
 Told I would not last longer than a year by floor manager since nobody does
 >Get to know Ted, he has no kids and his wife died in a boat accident
 we talk every day about apples and candy
 >he gets me into football
 we watch football together, he lets me show him anime
 >7 years pass
 >I've been there the longest
 Ted doesn't come to work, I call him
 No response, I go to his house
 >Door unlocked, go in and see him on the floor
 call 911, he had a stroke and died later that day in the hospital
 cry for days because my only friend is gone
 >A few days pass, I learn that he left the factory and the apple shop to me
 >note says "You're the hardest worker I've ever met, I know you will make me proud"
 >burst into tears in front of lawyer
 every day I go to that factory to work hard
 >l come up with all sorts of ideas to decorate the apples every holiday
 Still KHHV, but I love making apples
 >Whole town knows me as the apple man
 Never been happier making caramel apples
 Today would have been his 76th birthday. We got a huge catering order done today in time
 for Halloween. Business is better than ever. I know you're watching me, Ted. I hope I'm
 making you proud.
this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)
                
            

            
            
this is one of the most wholesome things ive ever read :)