Number
Number

Number

Activated My Trap Card
Activated My Trap Card

Activated My Trap Card

My Trap Card
My Trap Card

My Trap Card

Fooled You
Fooled You

Fooled You

Trap Cards
Trap Cards

Trap Cards

Fuck Its
Fuck Its

Fuck Its

slide
slide

slide

year-old-boy
year-old-boy

year-old-boy

lets do it
 lets do it

lets do it

im scared
 im scared

im scared

πŸ”₯ | Latest

Get Your Number: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy I'm going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl's number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, "I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I'll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand." Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head whoamiamneko If anyone ever does this to me l'll call them out on being a con artist a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy Joke's on you, buddy. That'll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozern times? I can take a punch But then eventually, l'll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I'Il just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can't figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine Because l'm a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who's gonna' stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can't become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It's basic math whoamiamneko Moral of the story, don't be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy First of all, don't you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again And second, where did I say l'd be lonely? I'd be a ghost on a motorcycle. That's the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes Source: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy How to become a legend
Get Your Number: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
 I'm going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight
 dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl's number in under five minutes and
 then politely walk up her and say, "I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get
 your number. I'll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up
 line and then write a fake number on my hand."
 Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody
 loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head
 whoamiamneko
 If anyone ever does this to me l'll call them out on being a con artist
 a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
 Joke's on you, buddy. That'll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozern
 times? I can take a punch
 But then eventually, l'll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I'Il just
 speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can't figure out
 why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a
 huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem
 that is? Not fucking mine
 Because l'm a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who's gonna' stop me then? The ghost
 cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can't become ghosts because they just go
 straight to hell. It's basic math
 whoamiamneko
 Moral of the story, don't be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and
 become a lonely ghost
 a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
 First of all, don't you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever
 again
 And second, where did I say l'd be lonely? I'd be a ghost on a motorcycle. That's the
 sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't bone
 Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes
 Source: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
How to become a legend

How to become a legend

Get Your Number: 11:09 YOU SUPER LIKED ELVIRA ON U Your cleavage game is top notch Today 8:58 AM Thanks Victoria secret's bra do Yeah they really lift and shape them nicely, I'm pretty sure my hands could do better though And I'm pretty sure i don't want your hands anywhere near my Jeez is this a hookup app or a way to talk to my grandma You think everyone one here wants to hook up? I think if you go to a mcdonalds and order a salad, if the salad sucks it's kinda your fault for ordering it I would take you to a much nicer place btw, thats just an analogy I'm sorry my hoe days are over That's okay, J actually happen to have a time anomaly in my bedroom What does that mean? English is not my first language? Don't worry it's not mine either ignore the second interrogation mark What's yours? Spanish Oh como estas? Lol I honestly can't type spanish for shit but I speak it very well What's your first language? It's French My last girlfriend was french I have prior experience And what did you learn from her ? How to spend 20,000 on someone and have nothing to show for it LMFAO Oh Lord I bet she had a nice pair of titties Definitely, that's why I had to swipe right, you're exactly my type Not exactly. I'm not here for I'm sure there's somewhere between hookups and marriage we can settle on @ I think that's called relationship - Ok deal, you're my girlfriend now Today 9:53 AM Definitely not how it works Now I am both confused and hurt I don't know what you want and l have a headache sounds like a girlfriend Today 1:59 PM You're crazy lol Today 7:02 PM A little bit. CanI get your number still? sent Today 822 PM 240 Type a message GIF I have a girlfriend now
Get Your Number: 11:09
 YOU SUPER LIKED ELVIRA ON U
 Your cleavage game is top notch
 Today 8:58 AM
 Thanks Victoria secret's bra do
 Yeah they really lift and shape
 them nicely, I'm pretty sure my
 hands could do better though
 And I'm pretty sure i don't want
 your hands anywhere near my
 Jeez is this a hookup app or a way
 to talk to my grandma
 You think everyone one here
 wants to hook up?
 I think if you go to a mcdonalds
 and order a salad, if the salad
 sucks it's kinda your fault for
 ordering it
 I would take you to a much nicer
 place btw, thats just an analogy
 I'm sorry my hoe days are over
 That's okay, J actually happen to
 have a time anomaly in my
 bedroom
 What does that mean? English is
 not my first language?
 Don't worry it's not mine either
 ignore the second interrogation
 mark
 What's yours?
 Spanish
 Oh como estas? Lol
 I honestly can't type spanish for
 shit but I speak it very well
 What's your first language?
 It's French
 My last girlfriend was french
 I have prior experience
 And what did you learn from her ?
 How to spend 20,000 on
 someone and have nothing to
 show for it LMFAO
 Oh Lord I bet she had a nice pair
 of titties
 Definitely, that's why I had to
 swipe right, you're exactly my
 type
 Not exactly. I'm not here for
 I'm sure there's somewhere
 between hookups and marriage
 we can settle on
 @
 I think that's called relationship
 -
 Ok deal, you're my girlfriend now
 Today 9:53 AM
 Definitely not how it works
 Now I am both confused and hurt
 I don't know what you want and l
 have a headache
 sounds like a girlfriend
 Today 1:59 PM
 You're crazy lol
 Today 7:02 PM
 A little bit. CanI get your number
 still?
 sent
 Today 822 PM
 240
 Type a message
 GIF
I have a girlfriend now

I have a girlfriend now

Get Your Number: Oh hello there Drsmashlove Shout to u pretty young ladies that's gon show up to brunch in a hoodie with the hood up, I fucks with y'all. That hood up tells me everything I need to know. Don't tell me the story - I know it already. (1) It was either your birthday or your best friend's birthday or it was nobody birthday but your name is Kirsten (girls named Kirsten go hard every weekend, and most weekdays. There's no explanation for this. It's just factual. If your name is Kirsten u will go absolutely hard AF on a Tuesday for no reason. Not even Fat Tuesday. Just like, next Tuesday. But I digress.). (2) The night started with shots when some frat boys offered to buy u and your squad a round and it snowballed from there. (3) Tables were danced on. (4) Undergarments were removed and u briefly paused because you're on your period, so it stands to reason that panties should be worn for the rest of the night, but u flung them anyway. (5) Karaoke was sung; likely six (6) Rihanna songs back to back. (6) Oral sex occurred in the back of a UBER. (6) Half of the shenanigans were documented on a well-edited snap story. To all u girls in hoodies with the hood up, still marinating in a mix of perspiration and sex fluids from last night, I salute y'all. U made it to brunch. The Angel of Death literally carried u to the restaurant so u could have your egg white omelette and wheat toast. Rest assured baby girl if I see u and your squad, u exactly the girl imma talk to. Your friend Emily who showered and applied make-up? She got nothing I want. That's too much preparation. Too put together. Imma come directly to u, get your number, date u, and then propose to u, so when we at the rehearsal dinner at Girl and the Goat, Emily can be all "SMASH MET KIRSTEN WHEN WE WERE AT BRUNCH AT SNAGGLETOOTH ON SOUTHPORT. KIRSTEN WAS A LITERAL MESS LOL - LIKE I CAN'T EVEN SAY WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE - BUT LET'S JUST SAY SHE WAS IN ROUGH SHAPE LOLOL." Exactly, Emily. Go head. Embarrass TF out of Kirsten. All that crazy she did before me just make me love her crazy ass more 😍. She led a crazy life but she mines now...Till the Angel of Death ⚰️ (or divorce court πŸ’°) do us part. Bless up! πŸ†—πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Get Your Number: Oh hello there
 Drsmashlove
Shout to u pretty young ladies that's gon show up to brunch in a hoodie with the hood up, I fucks with y'all. That hood up tells me everything I need to know. Don't tell me the story - I know it already. (1) It was either your birthday or your best friend's birthday or it was nobody birthday but your name is Kirsten (girls named Kirsten go hard every weekend, and most weekdays. There's no explanation for this. It's just factual. If your name is Kirsten u will go absolutely hard AF on a Tuesday for no reason. Not even Fat Tuesday. Just like, next Tuesday. But I digress.). (2) The night started with shots when some frat boys offered to buy u and your squad a round and it snowballed from there. (3) Tables were danced on. (4) Undergarments were removed and u briefly paused because you're on your period, so it stands to reason that panties should be worn for the rest of the night, but u flung them anyway. (5) Karaoke was sung; likely six (6) Rihanna songs back to back. (6) Oral sex occurred in the back of a UBER. (6) Half of the shenanigans were documented on a well-edited snap story. To all u girls in hoodies with the hood up, still marinating in a mix of perspiration and sex fluids from last night, I salute y'all. U made it to brunch. The Angel of Death literally carried u to the restaurant so u could have your egg white omelette and wheat toast. Rest assured baby girl if I see u and your squad, u exactly the girl imma talk to. Your friend Emily who showered and applied make-up? She got nothing I want. That's too much preparation. Too put together. Imma come directly to u, get your number, date u, and then propose to u, so when we at the rehearsal dinner at Girl and the Goat, Emily can be all "SMASH MET KIRSTEN WHEN WE WERE AT BRUNCH AT SNAGGLETOOTH ON SOUTHPORT. KIRSTEN WAS A LITERAL MESS LOL - LIKE I CAN'T EVEN SAY WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE - BUT LET'S JUST SAY SHE WAS IN ROUGH SHAPE LOLOL." Exactly, Emily. Go head. Embarrass TF out of Kirsten. All that crazy she did before me just make me love her crazy ass more 😍. She led a crazy life but she mines now...Till the Angel of Death ⚰️ (or divorce court πŸ’°) do us part. Bless up! πŸ†—πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Shout to u pretty young ladies that's gon show up to brunch in a hoodie with the hood up, I fucks with y'all. That hood up tells me every...