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Amazon, Complex, and Jeff Bezos: Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes He Spent Entire Conversation Thinking About How To Automate Person Talking To Him theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.
Amazon, Complex, and Jeff Bezos: Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes
 He Spent Entire Conversation
 Thinking About How To Automate
 Person Talking To Him
theonion:

SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversation thinking about how to automate the person talking to him. “Sorry, could you repeat that? I just lost focus for a second [as I indifferently watched you open and close your mouth, becoming increasingly aware of the fact that a simple machine could do the exact same things as you],” Bezos said to the Amazon vice president in front of him, even as he resumed brainstorming a complex algorithm that would streamline the executive’s duties, perform them with greater speed and efficiency, and possibly even capture some of his unique human qualities to make it user-friendly. “Whoops, there I go again. I must’ve spaced out [after realizing I could probably render you completely irrelevant within just a few years]. I guess I’m really distracted today [by the tantalizing thought of an automaton executing every one of your relevant functions for no salary with never a single complaint].” Bezos, who suddenly recalled a series of vivid dreams from the previous night in which he automated the entire American workforce, went on to apologize for not getting much sleep.

theonion: SEATTLE—Suddenly snapping back to attention, a dazed Jeff Bezos reportedly realized Thursday that he had spent an entire conversa...

Bad, Beard, and Comfortable: nOrma1-people-sxare-me A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd be more comfortable" and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad fitzefitcher #this is team skull its-just-a-phage The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying "You can pet me, but don't pick me up!" One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see the sign?" He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them!" Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "I didn't read it right did I?" And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits" And I still haven't gotten over that interaction. flowernstt I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh we call him short and long So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think it's a good place to start." Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks "canl pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax I'd never let anything hurt you. He'sa good boy." I'll never forget it ever bcI know that man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah ves the two least intimidating living things I've seen in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy wholesome stories
Bad, Beard, and Comfortable: nOrma1-people-sxare-me
 A group of rough looking boys walked past me
 today and all I heard of their conversation was
 "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went
 with him so he'd be more comfortable" and it
 made me realise the world isn't all that bad
 fitzefitcher
 #this is team skull
 its-just-a-phage
 The pet store I worked at had a pen with
 rabbits near the front door. On every side of the
 pen were huge signs saying "You can pet me,
 but don't pick me up!"
 One day two absolutely huge guys came in and
 one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a
 rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend
 grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see
 the sign?"
 He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them
 up but don't pet them!"
 Then he went quiet for a moment and softly
 said "I didn't read it right did I?"
 And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder
 and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing
 where words get mixed up. Let just pet these
 cute lil shits"
 And I still haven't gotten over that interaction.
 flowernstt
 I was walking my dog through Boston bc he
 likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh
 we call him short and long
 So this huge scary man with a full beard
 approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I
 pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs
 but your's is so small I think it's a good place to
 start."
 Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this
 guy brings his equally big friend over and they
 sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of
 my tiny dog so big man number one asks "canl
 pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up
 and puts him on man number two's lap and
 man number two is abt to freak out and his
 friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay
 just relax I'd never let anything hurt you. He'sa
 good boy." I'll never forget it ever bcI know that
 man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably
 wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda
 goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah ves
 the two least intimidating living things I've seen
 in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them
 and went out of his way to help his friend. It
 makes me so happy
wholesome stories

wholesome stories

Bad, Beard, and Comfortable: nOrma1-people-sxare-me A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he'd be more comfortable" and it made me realise the world isn't all that bad fitzefitcher #this is team skull its-just-a-phage The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying "You can pet me, but don't pick me up!" One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see the sign?" He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don't pet them!" Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said "I didn't read it right did I?" And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits" And I still haven't gotten over that interaction. flowernstt I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh we call him short and long So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your's is so small I think it's a good place to start." Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks "canl pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two's lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay just relax I'd never let anything hurt you. He'sa good boy." I'll never forget it ever bcI know that man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah ves the two least intimidating living things I've seen in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy Wholesome interactions via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2G2Zsb9
Bad, Beard, and Comfortable: nOrma1-people-sxare-me
 A group of rough looking boys walked past me
 today and all I heard of their conversation was
 "he's got that anxiety disorder bro so I went
 with him so he'd be more comfortable" and it
 made me realise the world isn't all that bad
 fitzefitcher
 #this is team skull
 its-just-a-phage
 The pet store I worked at had a pen with
 rabbits near the front door. On every side of the
 pen were huge signs saying "You can pet me,
 but don't pick me up!"
 One day two absolutely huge guys came in and
 one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a
 rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend
 grabbed his arm and asked him "did you see
 the sign?"
 He said "yeah! it says that you can pick them
 up but don't pet them!"
 Then he went quiet for a moment and softly
 said "I didn't read it right did I?"
 And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder
 and said "its ok, i know you've got that thing
 where words get mixed up. Let just pet these
 cute lil shits"
 And I still haven't gotten over that interaction.
 flowernstt
 I was walking my dog through Boston bc he
 likes the likes car rides. He's a little thing tbh
 we call him short and long
 So this huge scary man with a full beard
 approaches me like "hey can my buddy and I
 pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs
 but your's is so small I think it's a good place to
 start."
 Ofc I was like "yes he's very friendly!" So this
 guy brings his equally big friend over and they
 sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of
 my tiny dog so big man number one asks "canl
 pick him up?" And i say yes so he picks him up
 and puts him on man number two's lap and
 man number two is abt to freak out and his
 friend straight up just goes "hey man, it's okay
 just relax I'd never let anything hurt you. He'sa
 good boy." I'll never forget it ever bcI know that
 man looked at me (5'3, glasses, probably
 wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda
 goofy looking little thing) and was like 'ah ves
 the two least intimidating living things I've seen
 in Boston all day he'll feel relaxed around them
 and went out of his way to help his friend. It
 makes me so happy
Wholesome interactions via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2G2Zsb9

Wholesome interactions via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2G2Zsb9

Animals, Ass, and Birthday: SNEp DUMBO OFFICIAL TRAILER takineko: libertarirynn: futched: libertarirynn: dragonkyng: libertarirynn: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: the-mighty-birdy: animationtidbits: Dumbo - Official Trailer Yo quick question why HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND There are just so many problems here In the original movie the animals talk and baby Jumbo is called “Dumbo“ by the mean mom elephants. Why in the world do these kids who are supposed to be his friends call him Dumbo? Who thought it was a good idea to make a talking animal movie human centered? That stupid ass slowed down indie remix of “baby mine” is as hilarious as it is awful. Somebody tell Hollywood that you don’t need a slowed down indie remix in every movie trailer. Horrifying CGI is horrifying Why do we keep letting Tim Burton ruin Disney Classics? 1. Becuase its been a weird thing that Dumbo’s name has only ever been an insult and he never had a real name. 2. Not a rehash of the original? Isnt that a good thing? 3. No comment on that. 4. I’ve seen worse 5. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ He absolutely did have a real name did you not read right there where I said it was Jumbo? Literally the whole point of a remake is to be a remake of the original? Change it too much and it’s a reboot. 1. Call me crazy but I swear Jumbo was his mom’s name, and one of the elephants was like “oh look, he’s like a little Jumbo!” And that one bitch was like “with those ears? Nah, he’s Dumbo.” 2. The point is to make money, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this was more of a tax/copyright/contract thing. His name was definitely Jumbo Jr. because the stork character sings “happy birthday Jumbo Jr.“ at the very beginning of the movie do not fight me on this. Their family last name was JumboHis mom was called Mrs. Jumbo right? In the clip above she very specifically says that his name is Jumbo jr. I’m going to assume that as circus elephants, they don’t have surnames.
Animals, Ass, and Birthday: SNEp
 DUMBO
 OFFICIAL
 TRAILER
takineko:

libertarirynn:
futched:


libertarirynn:


dragonkyng:


libertarirynn:


friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:

the-mighty-birdy:


animationtidbits:

Dumbo - Official Trailer

Yo quick question
why


HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND 

There are just so many problems here
In the original movie the animals talk and baby Jumbo is called “Dumbo“ by the mean mom elephants. Why in the world do these kids who are supposed to be his friends call him Dumbo?
Who thought it was a good idea to make a talking animal movie human centered?
That stupid ass slowed down indie remix of “baby mine” is as hilarious as it is awful. Somebody tell Hollywood that you don’t need a slowed down indie remix in every movie trailer.
Horrifying CGI is horrifying
Why do we keep letting Tim Burton ruin Disney Classics?


1. Becuase its been a weird thing that Dumbo’s name has only ever been an insult and he never had a real name.
2. Not a rehash of the original? Isnt that a good thing?
3. No comment on that.
4. I’ve seen worse
5. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


He absolutely did have a real name did you not read right there where I said it was Jumbo?
Literally the whole point of a remake is to be a remake of the original? Change it too much and it’s a reboot.


1. Call me crazy but I swear Jumbo was his mom’s name, and one of the elephants was like “oh look, he’s like a little Jumbo!” And that one bitch was like “with those ears? Nah, he’s Dumbo.”
2. The point is to make money, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this was more of a tax/copyright/contract thing.


His name was definitely Jumbo Jr. because the stork character sings “happy birthday Jumbo Jr.“ at the very beginning of the movie do not fight me on this.

Their family last name was JumboHis mom was called Mrs. Jumbo right?

In the clip above she very specifically says that his name is Jumbo jr. I’m going to assume that as circus elephants, they don’t have surnames.

takineko: libertarirynn: futched: libertarirynn: dragonkyng: libertarirynn: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: the-mighty-birdy: a...

Animals, Ass, and Birthday: SNEp DUMBO OFFICIAL TRAILER futched: libertarirynn: dragonkyng: libertarirynn: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: the-mighty-birdy: animationtidbits: Dumbo - Official Trailer Yo quick question why HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND There are just so many problems hereIn the original movie the animals talk and baby Jumbo is called “Dumbo“ by the mean mom elephants. Why in the world do these kids who are supposed to be his friends call him Dumbo?Who thought it was a good idea to make a talking animal movie human centered?That stupid ass slowed down indie remix of “baby mine” is as hilarious as it is awful. Somebody tell Hollywood that you don’t need a slowed down indie remix in every movie trailer.Horrifying CGI is horrifyingWhy do we keep letting Tim Burton ruin Disney Classics? 1. Becuase its been a weird thing that Dumbo’s name has only ever been an insult and he never had a real name.2. Not a rehash of the original? Isnt that a good thing?3. No comment on that.4. I’ve seen worse5. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ He absolutely did have a real name did you not read right there where I said it was Jumbo?Literally the whole point of a remake is to be a remake of the original? Change it too much and it’s a reboot. 1. Call me crazy but I swear Jumbo was his mom’s name, and one of the elephants was like “oh look, he’s like a little Jumbo!” And that one bitch was like “with those ears? Nah, he’s Dumbo.”2. The point is to make money, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this was more of a tax/copyright/contract thing. His name was definitely Jumbo Jr. because the stork character sings “happy birthday Jumbo Jr.“ at the very beginning of the movie do not fight me on this.
Animals, Ass, and Birthday: SNEp
 DUMBO
 OFFICIAL
 TRAILER
futched:

libertarirynn:

dragonkyng:

libertarirynn:

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:
the-mighty-birdy:


animationtidbits:

Dumbo - Official Trailer

Yo quick question
why


HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND 
There are just so many problems hereIn the original movie the animals talk and baby Jumbo is called “Dumbo“ by the mean mom elephants. Why in the world do these kids who are supposed to be his friends call him Dumbo?Who thought it was a good idea to make a talking animal movie human centered?That stupid ass slowed down indie remix of “baby mine” is as hilarious as it is awful. Somebody tell Hollywood that you don’t need a slowed down indie remix in every movie trailer.Horrifying CGI is horrifyingWhy do we keep letting Tim Burton ruin Disney Classics?

1. Becuase its been a weird thing that Dumbo’s name has only ever been an insult and he never had a real name.2. Not a rehash of the original? Isnt that a good thing?3. No comment on that.4. I’ve seen worse5. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

He absolutely did have a real name did you not read right there where I said it was Jumbo?Literally the whole point of a remake is to be a remake of the original? Change it too much and it’s a reboot.

1. Call me crazy but I swear Jumbo was his mom’s name, and one of the elephants was like “oh look, he’s like a little Jumbo!” And that one bitch was like “with those ears? Nah, he’s Dumbo.”2. The point is to make money, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this was more of a tax/copyright/contract thing.

His name was definitely Jumbo Jr. because the stork character sings “happy birthday Jumbo Jr.“ at the very beginning of the movie do not fight me on this.

futched: libertarirynn: dragonkyng: libertarirynn: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: the-mighty-birdy: animationtidbits: Dumbo - Offic...

Apparently, Hello, and Herpes: Ben & Jerry's @benandjerrys g35 We are proud to announce that our newest flavor, Pecan Resist, supports the important work of @netargv, @womensmarch @ColorOfChange, and @HonorTheEarth. Join them here >> benjerrys.co/Resist 11:03 AM Oct 30, 2018 liberscaryrynn: hello-i-ask-questions: liberscaryrynn: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: cisnowflake: planetholland: jlongbone: nunyabizni: Ya ever just feel like kicking it with a huge Antisemite in the name of sticking it to Drumph? Ben and Jerry’s does apparently. Ahhh they named it Pecan Resist because it sounds like “We Can Resist” I have contracted herpes imagine being associated with that antisemite after the tree of life shooting. ooo boy. that’s not a good look for them This is some next level virtue signaling. Pee-can Resistance Really glad somebody explained that because I honestly had no idea why it was called pecan resist.Especially because depending on who you talk to it would be pronounced “pee-cahn resist”. It can only sound like that if you pronounce it “pee-can” like a fuckin weirdo Apparently Tumblr nuked the second half of my reply because I added “especially since many people were just pronounce it pee-cahn resist” lmao I want of those weirdos who calls it “pee-can pie“ but pee-cahn in nearly every other circumstance What the hell it deleted the second paragraph againTest
Apparently, Hello, and Herpes: Ben & Jerry's
 @benandjerrys
 g35
 We are proud to announce that our
 newest flavor, Pecan Resist,
 supports the important work of
 @netargv, @womensmarch
 @ColorOfChange, and
 @HonorTheEarth. Join them here >>
 benjerrys.co/Resist
 11:03 AM Oct 30, 2018
liberscaryrynn:

hello-i-ask-questions:

liberscaryrynn:

friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:

cisnowflake:

planetholland:
jlongbone:

nunyabizni:


Ya ever just feel like kicking it with a huge Antisemite in the name of sticking it to Drumph?
 Ben and Jerry’s does apparently.


Ahhh they named it Pecan Resist because it sounds like “We Can Resist” 
I have contracted herpes

imagine being associated with that antisemite after the tree of life shooting. ooo boy. that’s not a good look for them


This is some next level virtue signaling.

Pee-can Resistance 

Really glad somebody explained that because I honestly had no idea why it was called pecan resist.Especially because depending on who you talk to it would be pronounced “pee-cahn resist”.

It can only sound like that if you pronounce it “pee-can” like a fuckin weirdo

Apparently Tumblr nuked the second half of my reply because I added “especially since many people were just pronounce it pee-cahn resist” lmao I want of those weirdos who calls it “pee-can pie“ but pee-cahn in nearly every other circumstance

What the hell it deleted the second paragraph againTest

liberscaryrynn: hello-i-ask-questions: liberscaryrynn: friendly-neighborhood-patriarch: cisnowflake: planetholland: jlongbone: nunyabi...