Omg Why
Omg Why

Omg Why

Consequences
Consequences

Consequences

Alot Of
Alot Of

Alot Of

That
That

That

Morning Beautiful
Morning Beautiful

Morning Beautiful

tell-me-what
tell-me-what

tell-me-what

drugged
 drugged

drugged

mess up
 mess up

mess up

mistake
 mistake

mistake

lighted
 lighted

lighted

🔥 | Latest

Crazy, Pop, and Tumblr: LEARN RUSSIAN TO READ IN 15 MINUTES By PETER STARR NORTHROA AND RAN ESTRADA 、 ★ ESTE ANALE ABRI COMES FROM THIS CRAZY WRITING BUNCH OF ALPHABETS WHICH STOLE THEIR WRITING STYLES FROM THE GREEKS. THAT MAKES IT A KINDA WACKY AND DISJOINTED COUSIN TO OUR LATIN ALPHABET SO RUSSIAN LOOKS ALMOST KINDA LIKE IT COULD BE READ BY AN ENGLISH SPEAKER BUT THEN ALL THESE STRANGE NEW LETTERS POP IN, SO IT'S THIS ALIEN SYSTEM THAT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE FAMILIAR, WHICH IN THE END JUST MAKES IT SEEM ALL THE MORE ALIEN. SOME CONSONANTS LOOK THE SAME BUT MEAN TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. AND THEN RUSSIAN ADDS IN LIKE, FIVE EXTRA VOWELS AND 3 CONSONANTS OR SOMETHING CRAZY BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU CAN'T JUST PICK UP A RUSSIAN BOOK AND START TO READ. HOWEVER, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LEVEL UP THROUGH THE DIFFERENT LAYERS OF RUSSIAN AND YOU CAN MAKE IT MAD EASY FOR YOURSELF THERE'S NO WEIRD SOUNDS THAT COMBINE LIKE IN ENGLISH, AND ONLY A FEW LETTERS CHANGE SOUNDS FROM TIME TO TIME. ALL THE LETTERS (EXCEPT ONE) ARE THE SAME UPPER CASE AND LOWER CASE SO YOU ONLY NEED TO LEARN EACH LETTER ONCE. ONCE YOU TEACH YOURSELF THE BASIC RULES, YOU'LL FIND THAT T MIGHT EVEN BE EASIER THAN ENGLISH STUFF THAT'S TOTALLH THE SAME SOME RUSSIAN LETTERS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS ENGLISH LETTERS AND THAT MAKES A GREAT STARTING POINT FOR YOU TOMKAT F THE LETTER YOU'RE LOOKING AT CAN BE FOUND IN THIS OBSOLETE CELEBRITY COUPLE PORTMANTEAU YOU'RE IN LUCK! THEYRE THE SAME AS USUAL HEADS UP THOUGH! UNLIKE IN ENGLISH, RUSSIAN VOWELS MAKE ONE SOUND CONSISTENTLY. SO THE O MAKES A LONG O SOUND, AS IN 'NO' OR 'GO' AND THE 'A' MAKES THE SOUND YOU HEAR IN 'FATHER OR 'HAHA SO THE WORD ABOVE HAS A RUSSIAN ACCENT AND SOUNDS KINDA LIKE TOME COT THEIR SOUNDS, BUT O AND A CAN GO ROGUE DEPENDING ON F THEYRE STRESSED SYLLABLES OR NOT O CAN BE "AH" LIKE FATHER) AND A CAN BE "EH (LIKE PENCIL) SO TOME COT CAN ALSO BE TAHM-KEHT FOR NOW THOUGH, JUST PRACTICE WITH TOME-COT THAT'LL HELP THE MOST LEVEL 2VOWELS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE AN ALTERED VERSION OF A VOWEL YOU RECOGNIZE, OR A BACKWARDS CONSONANT, IT'S A VOWEL YOU CAN BREAK THEM DOWN INTO TWO SIMPLE GROUPS AND SET 2, WHICH ARE JUST THE SOFT VOWELS PLUS A Y SOFT VOWELS: HARD VWELS FATHER BED YO YOU BLL THAT GUY ON THE END THERE IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE INSTEAD OF MAKING A YEE SOUND, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE I IN BILL I COULD KILL BILL FOR MESSING UP THE SYSTEM. WHAT KIND OF LETTER IS MADE OF TWO LETTERS, ANYWAY? THAT JERK. EVE ALTER HOURE VOWELS THERE ARE SIX MORE VOWEL SOUNDS, AND YOU ONLY NEED TO KNOW ONE MORE LETTER TO BE ABLE TO READ THEM ADDING AFTER A VOWEL IS A LOT LIKE ADDING A Y IN ENGLISH- IT JUST MAKES THE SOUND LONGER. TO PRACTICE, LET'S ADD TO THE CONSONANTS AND VOWELS YOU ALREADY KNOW TATA TAVI TIE TO TO TOM TWEE KEY (BUT STRONGER) lolzandtrollz: Learn To Read Russian
Crazy, Pop, and Tumblr: LEARN
 RUSSIAN
 TO READ
 IN 15 MINUTES
 By PETER STARR
 NORTHROA AND
 RAN ESTRADA
 、
 ★
 ESTE ANALE ABRI COMES FROM THIS CRAZY WRITING
 BUNCH OF ALPHABETS WHICH STOLE THEIR WRITING
 STYLES FROM THE GREEKS. THAT MAKES IT A KINDA WACKY
 AND DISJOINTED COUSIN TO OUR LATIN ALPHABET
 SO RUSSIAN LOOKS ALMOST KINDA LIKE IT
 COULD BE READ BY AN ENGLISH SPEAKER BUT
 THEN ALL THESE STRANGE NEW LETTERS POP
 IN, SO IT'S THIS ALIEN SYSTEM THAT LOOKS LIKE
 IT COULD BE FAMILIAR, WHICH IN THE END
 JUST MAKES IT SEEM ALL THE MORE ALIEN.
 SOME CONSONANTS LOOK THE SAME BUT MEAN
 TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. AND THEN
 RUSSIAN ADDS IN LIKE, FIVE EXTRA VOWELS
 AND 3 CONSONANTS OR SOMETHING CRAZY
 BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU CAN'T JUST PICK UP
 A RUSSIAN BOOK AND START TO READ.
 HOWEVER, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LEVEL UP
 THROUGH THE DIFFERENT LAYERS OF RUSSIAN
 AND YOU CAN MAKE IT MAD EASY FOR
 YOURSELF
 THERE'S NO WEIRD SOUNDS THAT COMBINE
 LIKE IN ENGLISH, AND ONLY A FEW LETTERS
 CHANGE SOUNDS FROM TIME TO TIME. ALL THE
 LETTERS (EXCEPT ONE) ARE THE SAME UPPER
 CASE AND LOWER CASE SO YOU ONLY NEED TO
 LEARN EACH LETTER ONCE. ONCE YOU TEACH
 YOURSELF THE BASIC RULES, YOU'LL FIND THAT
 T MIGHT EVEN BE EASIER THAN ENGLISH
 STUFF THAT'S
 TOTALLH THE SAME
 SOME RUSSIAN LETTERS
 ARE EXACTLY THE SAME
 AS ENGLISH LETTERS AND
 THAT MAKES A GREAT
 STARTING POINT FOR YOU
 TOMKAT
 F THE LETTER YOU'RE LOOKING AT CAN BE FOUND IN
 THIS OBSOLETE CELEBRITY COUPLE PORTMANTEAU
 YOU'RE IN LUCK! THEYRE THE SAME AS USUAL
 HEADS UP THOUGH! UNLIKE IN ENGLISH, RUSSIAN
 VOWELS MAKE ONE SOUND CONSISTENTLY. SO THE O
 MAKES A LONG O SOUND, AS IN 'NO' OR 'GO' AND THE 'A'
 MAKES THE SOUND YOU HEAR IN 'FATHER OR 'HAHA
 SO THE WORD ABOVE HAS A RUSSIAN ACCENT AND
 SOUNDS KINDA LIKE TOME COT
 THEIR SOUNDS, BUT O AND A CAN GO ROGUE DEPENDING ON
 F THEYRE STRESSED SYLLABLES OR NOT O CAN BE "AH"
 LIKE FATHER) AND A CAN BE "EH (LIKE PENCIL) SO TOME
 COT CAN ALSO BE TAHM-KEHT FOR NOW THOUGH, JUST
 PRACTICE WITH TOME-COT THAT'LL HELP THE MOST
 LEVEL 2VOWELS
 IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE AN ALTERED VERSION OF A
 VOWEL YOU RECOGNIZE, OR A BACKWARDS CONSONANT, IT'S A VOWEL
 YOU CAN BREAK THEM DOWN
 INTO TWO SIMPLE GROUPS
 AND SET 2, WHICH ARE JUST
 THE SOFT VOWELS PLUS A Y
 SOFT VOWELS: HARD VWELS
 FATHER
 BED
 YO
 YOU
 BLL
 THAT GUY ON THE END THERE IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE
 INSTEAD OF MAKING A YEE SOUND, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE I IN BILL
 I COULD KILL BILL FOR MESSING UP THE SYSTEM. WHAT KIND OF
 LETTER IS MADE OF TWO LETTERS, ANYWAY? THAT JERK.
 EVE
 ALTER HOURE
 VOWELS
 THERE ARE SIX MORE VOWEL SOUNDS, AND YOU ONLY NEED
 TO KNOW ONE MORE LETTER TO BE ABLE TO READ THEM
 ADDING AFTER A VOWEL IS A LOT LIKE ADDING A Y
 IN ENGLISH- IT JUST MAKES THE SOUND LONGER. TO
 PRACTICE, LET'S ADD TO THE CONSONANTS AND
 VOWELS YOU ALREADY KNOW
 TATA TAVI
 TIE
 TO TO TOM
 TWEE
 KEY (BUT
 STRONGER)
lolzandtrollz:

Learn To Read Russian

lolzandtrollz: Learn To Read Russian

Alive, Blessed, and Family: Someday, you'll be someone's answered prayer, someone's favorite Someday, someone will take care of you and treat you like a blessing For now, do your self a favor and love yourself. When the time is right, someone will look at you and be blessed because they have you. repost @professorphanor ..... God, Let my self-love be the power that changes the dreams of my life. With this new power in my heart, the power of self-love, let me transform every relationship I have, beginning with the relationship I have with myself. Help me to be free of any conflict with others. Let me be happy to share my time with my loved ones and to forgive them for any injustice I feel in my mind. Help me to love myself so much that I forgive anyone who, I feel, has ever hurt me in my life. Give me the courage to love my family and friends unconditionally, and to change my relationships in the most positive and loving way. Help me to create new channels of communication in my relationships so there is no war of control, there is no winner or loser. Together let us work for love, for joy, for harmony. Let my relationships with my family and friends be based on respect and joy so that I no longer have the need to tell them how to think or how to be. Let my romantic relationship be the most wonderful relationship; let me feel joy every time I share myself with my partner. Help me to accept others just the way they are, without judgment, because when I reject them, I reject myself. When I reject myself, I reject you. Today is a new beginning. Help me to start my life over beginning today with the power of self-love. Help me to enjoy my life, to enjoy my relationships, to explore life, to take risks, to be alive and to no longer live in fear of love. Let me open my heart to the love that is my birthright. Help me to become a Master of Gratitude, Generosity, and Love so that I can enjoy all of your creations forever and ever. I ❤️ you! In Jesus’ name I pray...
Alive, Blessed, and Family: Someday, you'll be someone's
 answered prayer, someone's favorite
 Someday, someone will take care of
 you and treat you like a blessing
 For now, do your self a favor and love
 yourself.
 When the time is right, someone will
 look at you and be blessed because
 they have you.
repost @professorphanor ..... God, Let my self-love be the power that changes the dreams of my life. With this new power in my heart, the power of self-love, let me transform every relationship I have, beginning with the relationship I have with myself. Help me to be free of any conflict with others. Let me be happy to share my time with my loved ones and to forgive them for any injustice I feel in my mind. Help me to love myself so much that I forgive anyone who, I feel, has ever hurt me in my life. Give me the courage to love my family and friends unconditionally, and to change my relationships in the most positive and loving way. Help me to create new channels of communication in my relationships so there is no war of control, there is no winner or loser. Together let us work for love, for joy, for harmony. Let my relationships with my family and friends be based on respect and joy so that I no longer have the need to tell them how to think or how to be. Let my romantic relationship be the most wonderful relationship; let me feel joy every time I share myself with my partner. Help me to accept others just the way they are, without judgment, because when I reject them, I reject myself. When I reject myself, I reject you. Today is a new beginning. Help me to start my life over beginning today with the power of self-love. Help me to enjoy my life, to enjoy my relationships, to explore life, to take risks, to be alive and to no longer live in fear of love. Let me open my heart to the love that is my birthright. Help me to become a Master of Gratitude, Generosity, and Love so that I can enjoy all of your creations forever and ever. I ❤️ you! In Jesus’ name I pray...

repost @professorphanor ..... God, Let my self-love be the power that changes the dreams of my life. With this new power in my heart, the po...

Confused, Donald Trump, and School: Andy Slavitt @ASlavitt Following It's on! 2018 ACA enrollment has begun. 80% can find plans under $75/month. Go to healthcare.gov. Spread the word. 1:05 AM -1 Nov 2017 startrekgifs: grandpa-mermaid: askawelfarecaseworker: ramblinganthropologist: solitarelee: bi-trans-alliance: outforhealth: ironlion919: ppaction: Here’s what Donald Trump doesn’t want you to know: ACA open enrollment begins TODAY! Spread the word and #GetCovered. Also, the time to enroll has been CUT IN HALF. They tried to kill off the ACA, but could only manage to damage it. *****You have until Dec. 15! Don’t delay!***** healthcare.gov GO GO GO Reminder: the deadline is December 15 I did this last year and inexplicably turned out to be eligible for Medicaid in WV, which I STILL have. Absolute and total lifechanger that’s letting me go to school instead of having to work full time.  #signal boost#i know the original tweet is dated 2017 but the enrolment dates are the same!#november 1 to december 15#i got confused and thought i was reblogging something outdated#but this goes for 2019 coverage! Copying @xfreischutz‘s tags because it was a really good point. The dates for now are the same as last year. Get out there and get you your health insurance! (Personal note: I qualified for Medicaid in Pennsylvania last year and I wasn’t expecting it. It really does help if you do it.) NOTE - the Trump administration has allowed the sale of short term and catastrophic coverage plans. DO NOT BUY THESE. THEY WILL NOT HELP YOU. THEY ARE PREDATORY. Make sure, if you qualify for ACA coverage, that you are purchasing a plan that is at least Silver tier! @vague-humanoid !! ENDS DECEMBER 15 !!
Confused, Donald Trump, and School: Andy Slavitt
 @ASlavitt
 Following
 It's on! 2018 ACA enrollment has begun.
 80% can find plans under $75/month. Go to
 healthcare.gov.
 Spread the word.
 1:05 AM -1 Nov 2017
startrekgifs:

grandpa-mermaid:

askawelfarecaseworker:

ramblinganthropologist:

solitarelee:

bi-trans-alliance:

outforhealth:


ironlion919:

ppaction:

Here’s what Donald Trump doesn’t want you to know: ACA open enrollment begins TODAY!
Spread the word and #GetCovered.


Also, the time to enroll has been CUT IN HALF. They tried to kill off the ACA, but could only manage to damage it.

*****You have until Dec. 15! Don’t delay!*****

healthcare.gov GO GO GO


Reminder: the deadline is December 15

I did this last year and inexplicably turned out to be eligible for Medicaid in WV, which I STILL have. Absolute and total lifechanger that’s letting me go to school instead of having to work full time. 



#signal boost#i know the original tweet is dated 2017 but the enrolment dates are the same!#november 1 to december 15#i got confused and thought i was reblogging something outdated#but this goes for 2019 coverage!


Copying @xfreischutz‘s tags because it was a really good point. The dates for now are the same as last year. Get out there and get you your health insurance!
(Personal note: I qualified for Medicaid in Pennsylvania last year and I wasn’t expecting it. It really does help if you do it.)


NOTE - the Trump administration has allowed the sale of short term and catastrophic coverage plans. DO NOT BUY THESE. THEY WILL NOT HELP YOU. THEY ARE PREDATORY. 
Make sure, if you qualify for ACA coverage, that you are purchasing a plan that is at least Silver tier!

@vague-humanoid 


!! ENDS DECEMBER 15 !!

startrekgifs: grandpa-mermaid: askawelfarecaseworker: ramblinganthropologist: solitarelee: bi-trans-alliance: outforhealth: ironlion...

Animals, Be Like, and Cats: more-zero-than-ace asked: How awesome do you think pet dragons would be? Like, not dragons the size of buildings, but maybe the size of large dogs or cats? braaains-archive answered: SO AWESOME hi-def-doritos -baby dragons -baby dragons that will try to bite lighters and cigarettes and any other form of flame including gas stovetops because a baby dragon biting flame is like a baby human chewing on a teething toy they just gotta do it -baby dragons that will also try to bite lightbulbs, including holiday lights and phone screens, because they haven't figured out yet that these are not Real Fire -baby dragons who love to just sit on the stovetop after the pots are removed and bask in the warmth -baby dragons who start up a little hoard of small household items that are metallic and/or shiny, like paperclips and keys because they've yet to be exposed to gold and jewels -baby dragons who beg at the din table -baby dragons who' ve figured out how to fly but not quite how to stop yet so they kinda just crash into something that's hopefully soft to stop themselves -adolescent dragons being introduced to jewelry for the first time and having to be told "no" unto they give up on stealing the items. For now stashes of silverware and change and rhinestones being found back in the cupboards -adolescent dragons who love music and can hum along -adolescent dragons getting used to their leashes and going on walks -adolescent dragons who learn to ride on your shoulder and at first you have to keep them tied to you so they don't fly off when you go outside but pretty soon they learn and they love you enough to stay with you -adolescent dragons going through crazy mood swings and being distant and aloof but eventuallv comina back for snuggles like always young dragons who start trying to preen your hair (it never goes very well but they try, okay? And you love them.) young dragons with tons of energy setting about doing everything possible to make their humans happy they can operate almost any lamp or lightswitch for you, and they'll try to open your cupboards when you're cooking and they'll press elevator buttons and unzip your backpack/purse briefcase and untie just about any small task they can do to make you happy your shoes and fetc h the paper and do -young dragons who think their scolding is what opens automatic doors for their owners young dragons who are incredibly, zealously eager to please ovon though they don't realy now what they'ro doing -middle-aged dragons who start to lose some of the energy but are now incredibly loyal and know you and your habits to a fault -mi s who start taking naps on the wi ra ledges and fall off a few times but they get the hang of it -middle-aged dragons who stay on your shoulder almost all the time now, wrapping their tail around your other shoulder for balance -middle-aged dragons that will affectionately rub their heads along your neck and cheek and jawline -old dragons who just lay around and nap happily all the time seriously they're like cats and sunbeams -old dragons who sit in your lap and eat off your plate at dinner because they've darn well earned the privilege and everybody else knows it -old dragons who are terrible influences and start showing the younger dragons how to hoard and steal shiny things -old dragons that curl up under your chin and lie on yourc and bask in your presence hest service dragons who help disabled people go about their ives -pet dragons who are basically therapy animals -pet dragons that are incredibly loving and demonstrative of that love -pet dragons who are loyal and who bond closely and work -pet dragons who are the sweetest things in the universe -pet dragons Pet Dragons
Animals, Be Like, and Cats: more-zero-than-ace asked:
 How awesome do you think pet dragons would be?
 Like, not dragons the size of buildings, but maybe
 the size of large dogs or cats?
 braaains-archive answered:
 SO AWESOME
 hi-def-doritos
 -baby dragons
 -baby dragons that will try to bite lighters and cigarettes and
 any other form of flame including gas stovetops because a
 baby dragon biting flame is like a baby human chewing on a
 teething toy they just gotta do it
 -baby dragons that will also try to bite lightbulbs, including
 holiday lights and phone screens, because they haven't
 figured out yet that these are not Real Fire
 -baby dragons who love to just sit on the stovetop after the
 pots are removed and bask in the warmth
 -baby dragons who start up a little hoard of small household
 items that are metallic and/or shiny, like paperclips and keys
 because they've yet to be exposed to gold and jewels
 -baby dragons who beg at the din
 table
 -baby dragons who' ve figured out how to fly but not quite how
 to stop yet so they kinda just crash into something that's
 hopefully soft to stop themselves
 -adolescent dragons being introduced to jewelry for the first
 time and having to be told "no" unto they give up on stealing
 the items. For now
 stashes of silverware and change and rhinestones being
 found back in the cupboards
 -adolescent dragons who love music and can hum along
 -adolescent dragons getting used to their leashes and going
 on walks
 -adolescent dragons who learn to ride on your shoulder and
 at first you have to keep them tied to you so they don't fly off
 when you go outside but pretty soon they learn and they love
 you enough to stay with you
 -adolescent dragons going through crazy mood swings and
 being distant and aloof but eventuallv comina back for
 snuggles like always
 young dragons who start trying to preen your hair (it never
 goes very well but they try, okay? And you love them.)
 young dragons with tons of energy setting about doing
 everything possible to make their humans happy
 they can operate almost any lamp or lightswitch for you, and
 they'll try to open your cupboards when you're cooking and
 they'll press elevator buttons and unzip your backpack/purse
 briefcase and untie
 just about any small task they can do to make you happy
 your shoes and fetc
 h the paper and do
 -young dragons who think their scolding is what opens
 automatic doors for their owners
 young dragons who are incredibly, zealously eager to please
 ovon though they don't realy now what they'ro doing
 -middle-aged dragons who start to lose some of the energy
 but are now incredibly loyal and know you and your habits to
 a fault
 -mi
 s who start taking naps on the wi
 ra
 ledges and fall off a few times but they get the hang of it
 -middle-aged dragons who stay on your shoulder almost all
 the time now, wrapping their tail around your other shoulder
 for balance
 -middle-aged dragons that will affectionately rub their heads
 along your neck and cheek and jawline
 -old dragons who just lay around and nap happily all the time
 seriously they're like cats and sunbeams
 -old dragons who sit in your lap and eat off your plate at
 dinner because they've darn well earned the privilege and
 everybody else knows it
 -old dragons who are terrible influences and start showing the
 younger dragons how to hoard and steal shiny things
 -old dragons that curl up under your chin and lie on yourc
 and bask in your presence
 hest
 service dragons who help disabled people go about their
 ives
 -pet dragons who are basically therapy animals
 -pet dragons that are incredibly loving and demonstrative of
 that love
 -pet dragons who are loyal and who bond closely and work
 -pet dragons who are the sweetest things in the universe
 -pet dragons
Pet Dragons

Pet Dragons

Bones, Cats, and Dogs: Excerpts from a Dog's Diary... 8:00 am- Dog food! My favorite thing! 9.30 am- A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am- A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM- Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM-Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM- Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM Got to play ball! My favorite thing 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM -Sleeping on the bed! M y favorite thing Excerpts from a Cat's Diary? Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter'I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking, I must try this again tomorrow-but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cel, so he is safe. For now THE META PICTURE srsfunny: Dog Diary Vs. Cat Diary
Bones, Cats, and Dogs: Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...
 8:00 am- Dog food! My favorite thing!
 9.30 am- A car ride! My favorite thing!
 9:40 am- A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
 10:30 am- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
 12:00 PM- Lunch! My favorite thing!
 1:00 PM Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
 3:00 PM-Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
 5:00 PM- Milk bones! My favorite thing!
 7:00 PM Got to play ball! My favorite thing
 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
 11:00 PM -Sleeping on the bed! M y favorite thing
 Excerpts from a Cat's Diary?
 Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
 bizarre little dangling objects.
 They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
 are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my
 contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
 something in order to keep up my strength
 The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
 attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
 Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
 their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
 since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However,
 they merely made condescending comments about what a good
 little hunter'I am. Bastards.
 There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I
 was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
 However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
 that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies I must
 learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
 Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
 of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking,
 I must try this again tomorrow-but at the top of the stairs.
 I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
 snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
 released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
 obviously retarded.
 The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him
 communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
 reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
 custody for him in an elevated cel, so he is safe. For now
 THE META PICTURE
srsfunny:

Dog Diary Vs. Cat Diary

srsfunny: Dog Diary Vs. Cat Diary

Crazy, Dating, and Destiny: CUSTOMER SERVICE it is just plane wrong you have not swiped right yet Jake, 27 Jake, 27 less than a mile away less than a mile away We may fight, but please don't try and solve the argument with regular soda I would re-accommodate every last passenger just to be the guy that gets to sit next to you I prefer diet; we both know you are all the sugar I need Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Jake, 27 O less than a mile away One date, one opportunity...You are everything l ever wanted. In one moment, would you swipe right, or just let it slip? Want to be crazy in love? Well, to the left, to the left. Swipe every other guy to the left. My palms won't be sweaty. Flirt-game not weak, charm is heavy. I have a date planned already. let's get spaghetti If I like it, I might put a ring on it. It could be our destiny to have a child, but for now, let's just get pizza Still Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Jake, 27 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should probably start taking dating seriously I am looking for a girl who is willing to break all ties with their ex. I don't care if you have to make up some lie like "there isn't enough space for the two of us" Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart. If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just swipe left. eok a love story. Let go of the past; I promise our love won't hit any icebergs. Fake News N.К. missies can't reach the US. But I can reach your heart. Breaking News Trump pulls out of Paris chmate agreement Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Jake, 27 O less than a mile away Every guy eventually experiences issues with their rocket. Some rockets explode prematurely. Some never explode at all Just like our president, when I promise to pull out, I follow through But I promise that no matter what, we will have a blast. Over the past year, I made about 50 of these profiles (for fun). These are 8 of my favorite. Hopefully you get a laugh out of them.
Crazy, Dating, and Destiny: CUSTOMER SERVICE
 it is just plane wrong you
 have not swiped right yet
 Jake, 27
 Jake, 27
 less than a mile away
 less than a mile away
 We may fight, but please don't try and solve
 the argument with regular soda
 I would re-accommodate every last passenger
 just to be the guy that gets to sit next to you
 I prefer diet; we both know you are all the
 sugar I need
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 One date, one opportunity...You are everything
 l ever wanted. In one moment, would you
 swipe right, or just let it slip?
 Want to be crazy in love? Well, to the left, to
 the left. Swipe every other guy to the left.
 My palms won't be sweaty. Flirt-game not
 weak, charm is heavy. I have a date planned
 already. let's get spaghetti
 If I like it, I might put a ring on it. It could be
 our destiny to have a child, but for now, let's
 just get pizza
 Still
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 Jake, 27
 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should
 probably start taking dating seriously
 I am looking for a girl who is willing to break
 all ties with their ex. I don't care if you have to
 make up some lie like "there isn't enough
 space for the two of us"
 Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart.
 If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just
 swipe left.
 eok
 a love story.
 Let go of the past; I promise our love won't hit
 any icebergs.
 Fake News
 N.К. missies can't reach the US. But I can reach your heart.
 Breaking News
 Trump pulls out of Paris chmate agreement
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 Every guy eventually experiences issues with
 their rocket. Some rockets explode
 prematurely. Some never explode at all
 Just like our president, when I promise to pull
 out, I follow through
 But I promise that no matter what, we will
 have a blast.
Over the past year, I made about 50 of these profiles (for fun). These are 8 of my favorite. Hopefully you get a laugh out of them.

Over the past year, I made about 50 of these profiles (for fun). These are 8 of my favorite. Hopefully you get a laugh out of them.

Clothes, Energy, and Lawyer: COME BACK WITH A WARRANT not-a-single-fuck: soundssimpleright: supermansbuttocks: THUG LYFE This is actually what you should say to an ICE agent who has come to your house looking for an undocumented immigrant. Specifically, do not open the door; tell them to slide their warrant under the door. Read it carefully and check to see if it’s a JUDICIAL warrant, which will have specific information like the time and location where they’re allowed to search, and a specific description of who or what they’re allowed to search for. ICE practically *never* have this; they’ll have an ADMINISTRATIVE warrant, which is just their orders from their boss telling them to arrest a particular person. It does not give them the right to enter your house. ICE *can* enter your house if they have probable cause, such as if they see the person they’re looking for through a window or door (which is why you don’t open the door). Other forms of probable cause include kids telling agents that they were born outside of the US. Agents will trick people into chatting with them, especially kids who serve as translators for their parents, asking things like “What part of Mexico are you from?” Staying silent keeps the onus on them to prove in court later that they had evidence someone isn’t here legally. It’s important to remember that for now, at least, every person ICE wants to deport has to go before a judge, and ICE has to provide evidence that they know this person is undocumented and that they were arrested without violating the 4th amendment (against unreasonable search and seizure). We know that cops lie and that judges usually side with them, but agents would rather go for a sure bet from a targeted raid than risk wasting their time and energy on arrests that could be thrown out. Knowing your rights and being prepared makes you a more difficult target. “I do not consent to entry without a warrant.” (This information comes from notes I took at a workshop on being an immigration ally. Learn more at welcomingamerica.org) @soundssimpleright  ACTUALLY, ICE will wave around anything and call it a warrant and unless you’re a lawyer chances are you won’t be able to tell, so call a lawyer. ICE often comes in civilian vehicles and clothes, will often conceal their badges from you and will even lie about who they are, and they’ve been known to work with police. You shouldn’t open the door. Call your lawyer, a volunteer lawyer group that assists immigrants or a response network* first. Never say anything that might reveal you’re an immigrant at all to any cop, not even if you are arrested for something else. Call your lawyer and let them deal with it. ICE presentara cualquier cosa y la llamara un warrant, y aunque usted sea un abogado, probablemente no sabra la diferencia, asi que llame a su abogado. ICE muy seguido se presenta en ropa y autos civiles sin marcas, obscuren sus placas y pueden hasta mentir aceca de quienes son, aveces hasta trabajan con policia local para hacer arrestos de immigracion. No habra la puerta. Llame a su abogado, un grupo de abogados voluntarios que asistan a immigrantes o un grupo de respuesta* primero. Nunca diga nada que revele que es usted un immigrante a ningun policia, ni siquiera si usted esta ciendo arrestado por ortra razon. Llame a su abogado y dejen que ellos lideen con ICE. Here is what a Judicial warrant looks like: Asi es como se ve un warrant judicial: This what an immigration warrant looks like: Asi se ve un warrant de immigracion: If the warrant looks like this, you don’t have to let them in. Either way, call your lawyer and if you see ICE or suspect you see them, call someone who responds to ICE raids. Si el warrant se ve como este, usted no tiene que dejarlos entrar. En qualquier caso, llame a su abogado y si ve a ICE o sospecha que los ve llame a alguen que responda a raids de ICE. *Response networks. Research online if there’s a network of people in your area who respond to ICE raids, you can also ask at local temples or churches if they know of one. These are people whom you call on the phone, they give you brief instructions and send respondents to your location to assist you, serve as witnesses and document what happens so you can use that information to your defense. *Grupos de respuesta. Busque en linea si hai un grupo de gente en su area que responda a raids de ICE, tambien puede preguntar en tempos o iglecias locales si conocen de uno. Estas son personas que usted llama en el telephono, le dan instuciones breves y llaman socorristas a su locacion a asistirle, servir como testigos y documentar lo que suseda para que usted pueda usar esa informacion en su defensa.
Clothes, Energy, and Lawyer: COME BACK
 WITH A
 WARRANT
not-a-single-fuck:

soundssimpleright:

supermansbuttocks:
THUG LYFE

This is actually what you should say to an ICE agent who has come to your house looking for an undocumented immigrant. 
Specifically, do not open the door; tell them to slide their warrant under the door. Read it carefully and check to see if it’s a JUDICIAL warrant, which will have specific information like the time and location where they’re allowed to search, and a specific description of who or what they’re allowed to search for. ICE practically *never* have this; they’ll have an ADMINISTRATIVE warrant, which is just their orders from their boss telling them to arrest a particular person. It does not give them the right to enter your house. 
ICE *can* enter your house if they have probable cause, such as if they see the person they’re looking for through a window or door (which is why you don’t open the door). Other forms of probable cause include kids telling agents that they were born outside of the US. Agents will trick people into chatting with them, especially kids who serve as translators for their parents, asking things like “What part of Mexico are you from?” Staying silent keeps the onus on them to prove in court later that they had evidence someone isn’t here legally. 
It’s important to remember that for now, at least, every person ICE wants to deport has to go before a judge, and ICE has to provide evidence that they know this person is undocumented and that they were arrested without violating the 4th amendment (against unreasonable search and seizure). We know that cops lie and that judges usually side with them, but agents would rather go for a sure bet from a targeted raid than risk wasting their time and energy on arrests that could be thrown out. Knowing your rights and being prepared makes you a more difficult target. 
“I do not consent to entry without a warrant.”
(This information comes from notes I took at a workshop on being an immigration ally. Learn more at welcomingamerica.org)

@soundssimpleright 
ACTUALLY, ICE will wave around anything and call it a warrant and unless you’re a lawyer chances are you won’t be able to tell, so call a lawyer. ICE often comes in civilian vehicles and clothes, will often conceal their badges from you and will even lie about who they are, and they’ve been known to work with police. You shouldn’t open the door. Call your lawyer, a volunteer lawyer group that assists immigrants or a response network* first. Never say anything that might reveal you’re an immigrant at all to any cop, not even if you are arrested for something else. Call your lawyer and let them deal with it.
ICE presentara cualquier cosa y la llamara un warrant, y aunque usted sea un abogado, probablemente no sabra la diferencia, asi que llame a su abogado. ICE muy seguido se presenta en ropa y autos civiles sin marcas, obscuren sus placas y pueden hasta mentir aceca de quienes son, aveces hasta trabajan con policia local para hacer arrestos de immigracion. No habra la puerta. Llame a su abogado, un grupo de abogados voluntarios que asistan a immigrantes o un grupo de respuesta* primero. Nunca diga nada que revele que es usted un immigrante a ningun policia, ni siquiera si usted esta ciendo arrestado por ortra razon. Llame a su abogado y dejen que ellos lideen con ICE.
Here is what a Judicial warrant looks like:
Asi es como se ve un warrant judicial:
This what an immigration warrant looks like:
Asi se ve un warrant de immigracion:
If the warrant looks like this, you don’t have to let them in. Either way, call your lawyer and if you see ICE or suspect you see them, call someone who responds to ICE raids.
Si el warrant se ve como este, usted no tiene que dejarlos entrar. En qualquier caso, llame a su abogado y si ve a ICE o sospecha que los ve llame a alguen que responda a raids de ICE.

*Response networks. Research online if there’s a network of people in your area who respond to ICE raids, you can also ask at local temples or churches if they know of one. These are people whom you call on the phone, they give you brief instructions and send respondents to your location to assist you, serve as witnesses and document what happens so you can use that information to your defense.
*Grupos de respuesta. Busque en linea si hai un grupo de gente en su area que responda a raids de ICE, tambien puede preguntar en tempos o iglecias locales si conocen de uno. Estas son personas que usted llama en el telephono, le dan instuciones breves y llaman socorristas a su locacion a asistirle, servir como testigos y documentar lo que suseda para que usted pueda usar esa informacion en su defensa.

not-a-single-fuck: soundssimpleright: supermansbuttocks: THUG LYFE This is actually what you should say to an ICE agent who has come to y...