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Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow stormcloak Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident." "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously. gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you. You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. mo re Fun on likealaugh.org I Would Watch It
Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow
 stormcloak
 Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara
 OH MY GOD
 Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either
 Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency
 developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and
 they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing
 better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog
 Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project
 shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives
 birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter
 To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an
 incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They
 are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit
 one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem
 Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side
 Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their
 project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately
 the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to
 retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily
 Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape
 Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the
 movie
 Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and
 we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed
 into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods
 constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn
 one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple
 hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the
 hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture
 footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town
 Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is
 destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying
 property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides
 Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a
 huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer)
 gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother
 wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after
 receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a
 massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free
 immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring
 them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack
 What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant
 cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like
 Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that
 Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long
 enough for him to finish the beast off for good
 The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of
 them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the
 legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth
 knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride
 into battle against the forces of evil once more
 The credits roll
 Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of
 waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white
 The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a
 rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out
 to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in
 the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf
 into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore
 from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a
 hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his
 arms around himself to fight off the cold
 He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He
 wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a
 threat to the two
 "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I
 worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the
 Birdwell Island incident."
 "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
 gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot
 in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I
 was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly
 excited to talk with you.
 You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you
 work for?"
 The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you
 about the Avengers Initiative.
 mo
 re Fun on likealaugh.org
I Would Watch It

I Would Watch It

Brains, Girls, and Lazy: icecream-eaterrr I just heard this woman say "you procrastinate because you are afraid of rejection. It's a defense mechanism, you are trying to protect yourself without even trying." and I think I just realized what was wrong with me eupheme-butterfly Yep, this is a very, very common reason for procrastinating. It's also why procrastination, even though it's often associated with laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of people with anxiety and perfectionism issues dsudis This idea You're not lazy, you're protecting yourself- hit me really hard while reading, of all things, Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, which turns out to be as much about how brains work and how relationships work as how orgasms work. In an early part of the book she talks about Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats-the example she uses is being attacked by a lion You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion; you run away, if you think you can escape the lion; and when you think there's nothing you can do, when you feel the lion's jaws closing on your neck, you freeze, because dying will hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb and wait for it to be over, because that is the last way to protect any scrap of yourself Later in the book, she talks about the brain process that motivates you to pursue incentives, describing it as a little monitor that gauges your progress toward a goal versus the effort you're expending. If it feels like too little progress is being made you get frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you.. despair. You stop trying You go numb and wait for it to be over, because that's the only way left to protect yourself. So it occurred to me that these are basically the same thing-when facing a difficult task, where failure feels like a Threat, you can get frustrated and fight it out-INCREASE DOING THE THING until you get where you're going Or you can flee-try to solve the problem some other way than straight on, changing your goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight or flight But both of those only apply when you think the problem is solvable, right? If the problem isn't solvable, then you freeze. You despair And if you're one of those Smart Kids (Smart Girls, especially) who was praised for being smart so that all tasks in the world came to be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then... it's pretty easy to see how you lose the frustration/anger stage of working toward a goal, because your brain goes straight to freeze/despair every time. Things are easy and routine or they are straight up impossible So, you know, any time you manage to pull yourself up and give that lion a smack on the nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of just falling down like a fainting goat as soon as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself a gold star from me. Because this is some deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if logically you know that that term paper is not a lion, it really is like that sometimes Source: icecream-eaterrr 517,124 notes Procrastination
Brains, Girls, and Lazy: icecream-eaterrr
 I just heard this woman say "you procrastinate
 because you are afraid of rejection. It's a
 defense mechanism, you are trying to protect
 yourself without even trying." and I think I just
 realized what was wrong with me
 eupheme-butterfly
 Yep, this is a very, very common reason for
 procrastinating. It's also why procrastination,
 even though it's often associated with
 laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of
 people with anxiety and perfectionism issues
 dsudis
 This idea You're not lazy, you're protecting
 yourself- hit me really hard while reading, of
 all things, Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are,
 which turns out to be as much about how
 brains work and how relationships work as
 how orgasms work.
 In an early part of the book she talks about
 Fight/Flight/Freeze responses to threats-the
 example she uses is being attacked by a lion
 You fight, if you think you can defeat the lion;
 you run away, if you think you can escape the
 lion; and when you think there's nothing you
 can do, when you feel the lion's jaws closing
 on your neck, you freeze, because dying will
 hurt less that way. You just stop and go numb
 and wait for it to be over, because that is the
 last way to protect any scrap of yourself
 Later in the book, she talks about the brain
 process that motivates you to pursue
 incentives, describing it as a little monitor
 that gauges your progress toward a goal
 versus the effort you're expending. If it feels
 like too little progress is being made you get
 frustrated, get angry, and, eventually, you..
 despair. You stop trying
 You go numb and wait for it to be over,
 because that's the only way left to protect
 yourself.
 So it occurred to me that these are basically
 the same thing-when facing a difficult task,
 where failure feels like a Threat, you can get
 frustrated and fight it out-INCREASE DOING
 THE THING until you get where you're going
 Or you can flee-try to solve the problem some
 other way than straight on, changing your
 goal, changing your approach, whatever. Fight
 or flight
 But both of those only apply when you think
 the problem is solvable, right? If the problem
 isn't solvable, then you freeze. You despair
 And if you're one of those Smart Kids (Smart
 Girls, especially) who was praised for being
 smart so that all tasks in the world came to
 be divided between Ooh This Is Easy and I
 DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT AND IF I
 FUCK UP I WILL DIE, then... it's pretty easy
 to see how you lose the frustration/anger
 stage of working toward a goal, because your
 brain goes straight to freeze/despair every
 time. Things are easy and routine or they are
 straight up impossible
 So, you know, any time you manage to pull
 yourself up and give that lion a smack on the
 nose, or go stumbling away from it instead of
 just falling down like a fainting goat as soon
 as you spot it on the horizon, give yourself
 a gold star from me. Because this is some
 deeply wired survival-brain stuff. Even if
 logically you know that that term paper is not
 a lion, it really is like that sometimes
 Source: icecream-eaterrr
 517,124 notes
Procrastination

Procrastination

Anaconda, Apparently, and Assassination: prokopetz Everybody talks about Anastasia, which is a shame, because it's a far less interesting example of Russian fake heir drama than that whole business with the False Dmitries Okay, so Ivan the Terrible's youngest son, Dmitry, was assassinated in 1591 at the age of 8. Fast-forward nine years, and there's a guy going about Eastern Europe claiming that he is Dmitry, having secretly escaped the assassination attempt and lived in hiding under a false identity ever since. This sort of business isn't too unusual, but this guy actually pulls it off, managing to gain the Russian throne and rule for nearly eleven months before being dragged from the palace and publicly executed in early 1606. He'd subsequently go down in history as False Dmitry I Here's where it gets interesting. In mid 1607, a second impostor declares himself. Bizarrely, this one doesn't dispute the first impostor's legitimacy; instead, he claims to be the same guy, having miraculously survived his apparent execution the year before. He somehow wins the political support of False Dmitry I's widow, and with her vouching for his identity, he gains the allegiance of the Cossacks, rallies an army over 100 000 strong, and tries to take back" the throne. Though his march on Moscow ultimately failed, he successfully conquered most of Southeastern Russia, which he would rule until his untimely death in December of 1610, when he was beheaded in a drunken altercation with a Tartar prince. The history books know him as False Dmitry II Now jump ahead three months to March of 1611, when a third fucking impostor pops up. Dude apparently just magically appeared from behind a waterfall in goddamn Ivangorod and declared himself Tsar. Following the lead of False Dmitry I1, he doesn't dispute either of the two previous impostors, instead claiming some sort of spiritual reincarnation and/or magical resurrection - it's not entirely clear which - to establish himself as the same guy. He must have talked a good game, because he managed to win the support of the same fucking Cossacks who supported False Dmitry Il's claim. Unfortunately, he was a far less able commander, being forced to flee his stronghold only a year later, whereupon he was spirited away to Moscow and secretly executed. Though he never managed to actually rule anything, historians decided to stick to the theme and dubbed him False Dmitry Il At this point the historical record becomes confused, with some sources asserting there was a fourth False Dmitry, though others insist that the third False Dmitry was simply counted twice due to poor record-keeping. Still, whether we're talking about three False Dmitries or four, imagine the whole mess from the Tsar's perspective. Dude just wouldn't stay dead! gryphye ohh vou missed one of my favorite bits False Dmitry I not only was executed, it was KNOWN he was fake. Powers that be used him until he was trouble, and THEN executed him Then quartered hinm Then cremated what was left. Stuffed the ashes in a can And shot him out of a cannon back towards Poland, where he actually came from. He pissed off a few people, yeah prokopetz It was a very miraculous survival Source:prokopetz 8,898 notes Nobody made a movie about this because it was just too weird
Anaconda, Apparently, and Assassination: prokopetz
 Everybody talks about Anastasia, which is a shame, because it's a far less
 interesting example of Russian fake heir drama than that whole business with
 the False Dmitries
 Okay, so Ivan the Terrible's youngest son, Dmitry, was assassinated in 1591 at
 the age of 8. Fast-forward nine years, and there's a guy going about Eastern
 Europe claiming that he is Dmitry, having secretly escaped the assassination
 attempt and lived in hiding under a false identity ever since. This sort of business
 isn't too unusual, but this guy actually pulls it off, managing to gain the Russian
 throne and rule for nearly eleven months before being dragged from the palace
 and publicly executed in early 1606. He'd subsequently go down in history as
 False Dmitry I
 Here's where it gets interesting. In mid 1607, a second impostor declares
 himself. Bizarrely, this one doesn't dispute the first impostor's legitimacy;
 instead, he claims to be the same guy, having miraculously survived his
 apparent execution the year before. He somehow wins the political support of
 False Dmitry I's widow, and with her vouching for his identity, he gains the
 allegiance of the Cossacks, rallies an army over 100 000 strong, and tries to
 take back" the throne. Though his march on Moscow ultimately failed, he
 successfully conquered most of Southeastern Russia, which he would rule until
 his untimely death in December of 1610, when he was beheaded in a drunken
 altercation with a Tartar prince. The history books know him as False Dmitry II
 Now jump ahead three months to March of 1611, when a third fucking
 impostor pops up. Dude apparently just magically appeared from behind a
 waterfall in goddamn Ivangorod and declared himself Tsar. Following the lead of
 False Dmitry I1, he doesn't dispute either of the two previous impostors, instead
 claiming some sort of spiritual reincarnation and/or magical resurrection - it's not
 entirely clear which - to establish himself as the same guy. He must have talked
 a good game, because he managed to win the support of the same fucking
 Cossacks who supported False Dmitry Il's claim. Unfortunately, he was a far less
 able commander, being forced to flee his stronghold only a year later,
 whereupon he was spirited away to Moscow and secretly executed. Though he
 never managed to actually rule anything, historians decided to stick to the theme
 and dubbed him False Dmitry Il
 At this point the historical record becomes confused, with some sources
 asserting there was a fourth False Dmitry, though others insist that the third
 False Dmitry was simply counted twice due to poor record-keeping. Still,
 whether we're talking about three False Dmitries or four, imagine the whole
 mess from the Tsar's perspective. Dude just wouldn't stay dead!
 gryphye
 ohh vou missed one of my favorite bits
 False Dmitry I not only was executed, it was KNOWN he was fake. Powers that
 be used him until he was trouble, and THEN executed him
 Then quartered hinm
 Then cremated what was left.
 Stuffed the ashes in a can
 And shot him out of a cannon back towards Poland, where he actually came
 from.
 He pissed off a few people, yeah
 prokopetz
 It was a very miraculous survival
 Source:prokopetz
 8,898 notes
Nobody made a movie about this because it was just too weird

Nobody made a movie about this because it was just too weird

America, Bad, and Children: OhNoSheTwitnt @OhNoSheTwitnt Following The people who lost their shit when Michelle Obama said that kids should eat vegetables are totally cool with Trump putting kids in concentration camps. 7:06 AM-14 Jun 2018 53 Retweets 159 L beardedboggan: bladedpetals: for-southendgirls: femmeradical: pro-uterus-agenda: cocksmasher69: It’s because the kids aren’t white Obviously what’s happening to these kids is horrific but should we really be calling them concentrating camps though? What do Jewish people think about this? Hello, Mexican here. They are fucking modern day concentration camps. Children, even infants, are being ripped from their homes, forced into overcrowded abandoned Walmart’s, with only 2 hours a day of outside time. This is no way for children to live. There is a mural on the wall of Trump with the quote, “Sometimes by losing the battle you find a way to win the war.” Do you know what people call shit like that? Propaganda. You can fuck all the way off. I cannot fucking believe you chose to fucking nitpick how this humanitarian problem is discussed because you’re uncomfortable with the horrors happening right before our eyes and would rather call it “problematic.” I can’t fucking stand gringos for bullshit like this. Hi, Jew here! They are concentration camps and any Jew worth their history will tell you that. The Trump murals, the “we’re just going to take your baby for a bath”, the photos of confiscated rosary beads, the older children taking care of younger children they have no relation to because there are no parents around. We see this shit and it sends chills up our spines because that was the kind of shit gentiles ignored because it wasn’t “that bad”. It wasn’t “that bad” when they were just confiscating our wedding rings and throwing them into a pile because we were “prisoners”, because it wasn’t “that bad” when they were separating children from their mothers to put them into a separate barracks, because it wasn’t “that bad” when little kids were having to flee through Kindertransport without their parents.  This also isn’t the first time this has been done in America. The Japanese were held in concentration camps here during WWII. And what’s happening now sounds strikingly similar to that as well. A concentration camp is literally just a place where you concentrate a certain group of people against their will. What kind of a dumb fuck defends and nitpicks the wording on what this is? It’s a concentration camp, you fuckwit.
America, Bad, and Children: OhNoSheTwitnt
 @OhNoSheTwitnt
 Following
 The people who lost their shit when Michelle
 Obama said that kids should eat vegetables
 are totally cool with Trump putting kids in
 concentration camps.
 7:06 AM-14 Jun 2018
 53 Retweets 159 L
beardedboggan:

bladedpetals:
for-southendgirls:

femmeradical:

pro-uterus-agenda:


cocksmasher69:

It’s because the kids aren’t white

Obviously what’s happening to these kids is horrific but should we really be calling them concentrating camps though? What do Jewish people think about this?


Hello, Mexican here. They are fucking modern day concentration camps. Children, even infants, are being ripped from their homes, forced into overcrowded abandoned Walmart’s, with only 2 hours a day of outside time. This is no way for children to live.  There is a mural on the wall of Trump with the quote, “Sometimes by losing the battle you find a way to win the war.” Do you know what people call shit like that? Propaganda. You can fuck all the way off. I cannot fucking believe you chose to fucking nitpick how this humanitarian problem is discussed because you’re uncomfortable with the horrors happening right before our eyes and would rather call it “problematic.” I can’t fucking stand gringos for bullshit like this. 

Hi, Jew here! They are concentration camps and any Jew worth their history will tell you that. The Trump murals, the “we’re just going to take your baby for a bath”, the photos of confiscated rosary beads, the older children taking care of younger children they have no relation to because there are no parents around.
We see this shit and it sends chills up our spines because that was the kind of shit gentiles ignored because it wasn’t “that bad”. It wasn’t “that bad” when they were just confiscating our wedding rings and throwing them into a pile because we were “prisoners”, because it wasn’t “that bad” when they were separating children from their mothers to put them into a separate barracks, because it wasn’t “that bad” when little kids were having to flee through Kindertransport without their parents. 


This also isn’t the first time this has been done in America.  The Japanese were held in concentration camps here during WWII.  And what’s happening now sounds strikingly similar to that as well.  A concentration camp is literally just a place where you concentrate a certain group of people against their will.


What kind of a dumb fuck defends and nitpicks the wording on what this is? It’s a concentration camp, you fuckwit.

beardedboggan: bladedpetals: for-southendgirls: femmeradical: pro-uterus-agenda: cocksmasher69: It’s because the kids aren’t white Ob...

Resistance, Fuel, and First: The last Resistance ship trying to flee from the entire First Order fleet on diminishing fuel supplies (36 ABY)
Resistance, Fuel, and First: The last Resistance ship trying to flee from the entire First Order fleet on diminishing fuel supplies (36 ABY)

The last Resistance ship trying to flee from the entire First Order fleet on diminishing fuel supplies (36 ABY)

College, Crime, and Fake: coolhotdad my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy's store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse.I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my "fake" purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can't clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy's and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and l have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they're all fakes youstoodmeupforayardsale this passed the bechdel test Source: coolhotdad The perfect crime
College, Crime, and Fake: coolhotdad
 my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy's store inventory. I then
 go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I
 break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse.I
 take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring
 fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when
 the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out
 who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire
 division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my "fake"
 purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and
 break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee
 While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to
 my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35
 years. My blood can't clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who
 shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying
 body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the
 last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break
 into a different Macy's and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have
 been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and l
 have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college
 girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she
 goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and
 realizes that they're all fakes
 youstoodmeupforayardsale
 this passed the bechdel test
 Source: coolhotdad
The perfect crime

The perfect crime

College, Crime, and Fake: youstoodmeupforayardsale coolhotdad my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy's store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBl is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my "fake" purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can't clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy's and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they're all fakes this passed the bechdel test The crime of the century
College, Crime, and Fake: youstoodmeupforayardsale
 coolhotdad
 my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy's store inventory. I then go
 on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break
 in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my
 real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake
 purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the
 feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who
 can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of
 the FBl is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my "fake" purses appear
 to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in
 texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would
 normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real
 purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can't clot
 and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made
 out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me
 how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life
 telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy's and replace all
 the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted
 price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all
 When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering
 me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses
 she owns, and realizes that they're all fakes
 this passed the bechdel test
The crime of the century

The crime of the century