And Still
And Still

And Still

Just Die
Just Die

Just Die

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buttons

sticked
 sticked

sticked

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first aid: gay victim soul @tragicgay Whenever I see news about how SNL or John Oliver or John Stewart "destroyed" Donald Trump my mind instinctively goes to this Vonnegut quote "During the Vietnam War, every respectable artist in this country was against the war. It was like a laser beam. We were all aimed in the same direction. The power of this weapon turns out to be that of a custard pie dropped from a stepladder six feet high." - feathersescapism: Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing these things in context. One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?” I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.” “My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.” Everyone else looked surprised and horrified. And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?” The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse. “What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?” The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.” “Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.” So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated. But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well. Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA. What the whole world would look like. Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god. If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there. (*if you’re curious: those stats count EVERY reported case of CPR, while the effectiveness of it is extremely time-related. With those who have had continuous CPR from the SECOND they went down, the number is actually above 80%. It drops hugely every 30 seconds from then on. When you count ALL cases you count cases where the person has already been down several minutes but a bystander still starts CPR, which affects the stats)
 first aid: gay victim soul
 @tragicgay
 Whenever I see news about how SNL or
 John Oliver or John Stewart "destroyed"
 Donald Trump my mind instinctively goes
 to this Vonnegut quote
 "During the Vietnam War,
 every respectable artist in
 this country was against
 the war. It was like a laser
 beam. We were all aimed
 in the same direction. The
 power of this weapon turns
 out to be that of a custard
 pie dropped from a
 stepladder six feet high." -
feathersescapism:

Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing these things in context. 
One of my favourite illustrations of this was in a First Aid class. The instructor was a working paramedic. He asked, “Who here knows the stats on CPR? What percentage of people are saved by CPR outside a hospital?”
I happen to know but I’m trying not to be a TOTAL know it all in this class so I wait. And people guess 50% and he says, “Lower,” and 20% and so forth and eventually I sort of half put up my hand and I guess I had The Face because he eventually looked at me and said, “You know, don’t you.”
“My mom’s a doc,” I said. He gave me a “so say it” gesture and I said, “Four to ten percent depending on your sources.” 
Everyone else looked surprised and horrified. 
And the paramedic said, “We’re gonna talk a bit about some details of those figures* but first I want to talk about just this: when do you do CPR?” 
The class dutifully replies: when someone is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse. 
“What do we call someone who is unconscious, not breathing, and has no pulse?”
The class tries to figure out what the trick question is so I jump over the long pause and say, “A corpse.”
“Right,” says the paramedic. “Someone who isn’t breathing and has no heartbeat is dead. So what I’m telling you is that with this technique you have a 4-10% chance of raising the dead.”
So no, artists did not stop the Vietnam War from happening with the sheer Power of Art. The forces driving that military intervention were huge, had generations of momentum and are actually pretty damn complicated. 
But if you think the mass rejection of the war was as meaningless as a soufflé - well. 
Try sitting here for ten seconds and imagining where we’d be if the entire intellectual and artistic drive of the culture had been FOR the war. If everyone thought it was a GREAT IDEA. 
What the whole world would look like. 
Four-to-ten percent means that ninety to ninety-six percent of the time - more than nine times out of ten - CPR will do nothing, but that one time you’ll be in the company of someone worshipped as an incarnate god. 
If you think the artists and performers attacking and showing up people like Donald Trump is meaningless try imagining a version of the world wherein they weren’t there. 

(*if you’re curious: those stats count EVERY reported case of CPR, while the effectiveness of it is extremely time-related. With those who have had continuous CPR from the SECOND they went down, the number is actually above 80%. It drops hugely every 30 seconds from then on. When you count ALL cases you count cases where the person has already been down several minutes but a bystander still starts CPR, which affects the stats)

feathersescapism: Every time I see this quote I realize how poor even very smart people are at looking at the long game and at assessing...

first aid: <p><a href="http://belovefreeindeed.tumblr.com/post/151770931891/libertybill-russalex-godless-david" class="tumblr_blog">belovefreeindeed</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://libertybill.tumblr.com/post/151734446232">libertybill</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://russalex.tumblr.com/post/151734120451">russalex</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://godless-david.tumblr.com/post/151727854649">godless-david</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proud-atheist.tumblr.com/post/151725528375">proud-atheist</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Tim Tebow Prays over dude having a Seizure instead of doing any type of first aid… / <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/577ac5/tim_tebow_prays_over_dude_having_a_seizure/?utm_source=ifttt">via</a></p> </blockquote> <p>And I’m sure he thinks his prayers brought them out of it. Pretty disgusting to use a situation like that to draw attention to one’s self.</p> </blockquote> <p>As a Florida resident the fawning over this overrated clown is annoying.</p> </blockquote> <p>I know you guys are salty that someone is religious in any way, but there’s almost nothing you can do as “first aid” for a seizure. As long as the person isn’t in a dangerous place and their airway is clear, you can’t do much.</p> </blockquote> <p>I prayed for my friend after her father passed away instead of studying necromancy and bringing him back to life. What can I say, I’m just so self-centered.</p></blockquote>
 first aid: <p><a href="http://belovefreeindeed.tumblr.com/post/151770931891/libertybill-russalex-godless-david" class="tumblr_blog">belovefreeindeed</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://libertybill.tumblr.com/post/151734446232">libertybill</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://russalex.tumblr.com/post/151734120451">russalex</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://godless-david.tumblr.com/post/151727854649">godless-david</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proud-atheist.tumblr.com/post/151725528375">proud-atheist</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Tim Tebow Prays over dude having a Seizure instead of doing any type of first aid… / <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/577ac5/tim_tebow_prays_over_dude_having_a_seizure/?utm_source=ifttt">via</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>And I’m sure he thinks his prayers brought them out of it. Pretty disgusting to use a situation like that to draw attention to one’s self.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>As a Florida resident the fawning over this overrated clown is annoying.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I know you guys are salty that someone is religious in any way, but there’s almost nothing you can do as “first aid” for a seizure. As long as the person isn’t in a dangerous place and their airway is clear, you can’t do much.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>I prayed for my friend after her father passed away instead of studying necromancy and bringing him back to life. What can I say, I’m just so self-centered.</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://belovefreeindeed.tumblr.com/post/151770931891/libertybill-russalex-godless-david" class="tumblr_blog">belovefreeindeed...

first aid: Thread Shen the Bird @Shen the_Bird Never thought l'd be one to make long threads, but I need to tell someone about the most terrifying thing that's ever happened to me. 8 weeks ago, I was working in private security as a guard for multiple contracts. My most frequent was for a manufacturing plant. I'm (1/10) 11:00 AM 25 Feb 18 N 59% 2:05 PM Thread Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d gonna guess everyone already knows, but the pay was awful, and the hours were worse, which is why I thought a lot of guards, even supervisors, would just quit without telling anyone. No word, no notice, just gone the next day. Because of this, corporate decided to (2/10) 5 t 56 751 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d give me a bunch of extra hours at this manufacturing plant. They made greeting cards with what looked like endless floors of deafening machinery. I would monitor cameras, but I mainly worked as first aid and made routine patrols around the 60,000 square foot facility. (3/10) 1 724 t 55 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d You would think they'd have more than 1 guard for this site, but my company just had such a shortage of employees. That night, 8 weeks ago, I was actually covering for a friend. I'd worked with him for about a year and hung out few times. Something important must have come (4/10) 59% 9 2:05 PM Thread Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d up, because he never missed a shift, especially without even calling. Anyway, the night that it happened was New Year's Day. The people who worked at the manufacturing plant were off for the holiday, but I still had to come in to patrol the building. Normally, I would (5/10) 3 t 55 700 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d never cover someone's shift on a holiday, but I needed the money. So, at 11:30 PM, I arrived for my overnight shift, and the plant workers left, one by one until I was completely alone in that gigantic building. I sat at my desk watching cameras for a bit, but nothing was (6/10) 4 706 t54 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d gonna happen, so I took my eyes off the screen and started sending condescending texts to the guard that didn't show up. After no response, noticed something in the corner of my eye on the computer screen. Most of the factory lights were off, so the image wasn't clear (7/10) 59% 2:05 PM Thread Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird-1d Let me insert: I know now that there's nothing wrong with being scared, but I didn't frighten easily. I looked closer at the cam image but the huge machines casted a shadow over that...thing. I got up, took out my flashlight and headed to the old elevator. As it descended, (8/10) 2 726 t 53 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d you could say l worried for the other guard. I decided to call him. When the elevator doors opened on the dark factory floor, the usually bustling machines stood dormant. It was totally silent until I heard a phone ring. I quickly hung up my own and pointed my flashlight (9/10) 1 t 53 705 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d down the long clearing but the ringing stopped. Before I realized it was the other guard's phone, I saw his mangled, bloody body, standing and staring at me. When dropped my light, it illuminated blood- writing in the floor that spelled out the first word of each of these tweets This gave me the shivers. by -Tinsky- FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.
 first aid: Thread
 Shen the Bird
 @Shen the_Bird
 Never thought l'd be one to make
 long threads, but I need to tell
 someone about the most terrifying
 thing that's ever happened to
 me. 8 weeks ago, I was working
 in private security as a guard
 for multiple contracts. My most
 frequent was for a manufacturing
 plant. I'm (1/10)
 11:00 AM 25 Feb 18
 N 59% 2:05 PM
 Thread
 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d
 gonna guess everyone already knows, but
 the pay was awful, and the hours were
 worse, which is why I thought a lot of
 guards, even supervisors, would just quit
 without telling anyone. No word, no
 notice, just gone the next day. Because of
 this, corporate decided to (2/10)
 5
 t 56
 751
 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d
 give me a bunch of extra hours at this
 manufacturing plant. They made greeting
 cards with what looked like endless floors
 of deafening machinery. I would monitor
 cameras, but I mainly worked as first aid
 and made routine patrols around the
 60,000 square foot facility. (3/10)
 1
 724
 t 55
 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d
 You would think they'd have more than 1
 guard for this site, but my company just
 had such a shortage of employees. That
 night, 8 weeks ago, I was actually
 covering for a friend. I'd worked with him
 for about a year and hung out few times.
 Something important must have come
 (4/10)
 59% 9 2:05 PM
 Thread
 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d
 up, because he never missed a shift,
 especially without even calling. Anyway,
 the night that it happened was New Year's
 Day. The people who worked at the
 manufacturing plant were off for the
 holiday, but I still had to come in to patrol
 the building. Normally, I would (5/10)
 3
 t 55
 700
 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d
 never cover someone's shift on a holiday,
 but I needed the money. So, at 11:30 PM, I
 arrived for my overnight shift, and the
 plant workers left, one by one until I was
 completely alone in that gigantic building.
 I sat at my desk watching cameras for a
 bit, but nothing was (6/10)
 4
 706
 t54
 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d
 gonna happen, so I took my eyes off the
 screen and started sending
 condescending texts to the guard that
 didn't show up. After no response,
 noticed something in the corner of my
 eye on the computer screen. Most of the
 factory lights were off, so the image
 wasn't clear (7/10)
 59% 2:05 PM
 Thread
 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird-1d
 Let me insert: I know now that there's
 nothing wrong with being scared, but I
 didn't frighten easily. I looked closer at the
 cam image but the huge machines casted
 a shadow over that...thing. I got up, took
 out my flashlight and headed to the old
 elevator. As it descended, (8/10)
 2
 726
 t 53
 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d
 you could say l worried for the other
 guard. I decided to call him. When the
 elevator doors opened on the dark factory
 floor, the usually bustling machines stood
 dormant. It was totally silent until I heard
 a phone ring. I quickly hung up my own
 and pointed my flashlight (9/10)
 1
 t 53
 705
 Shen the Bird @Shen_the_Bird 1d
 down the long clearing but the ringing
 stopped. Before I realized it was the other
 guard's phone, I saw his mangled, bloody
 body, standing and staring at me. When
 dropped my light, it illuminated blood-
 writing in the floor that spelled out the
 first word of each of these tweets
This gave me the shivers. by -Tinsky-
FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.

This gave me the shivers. by -Tinsky- FOLLOW 4 MORE MEMES.

first aid: THE PERFECT RESUME FOR SOMEONE WITH NO EXPERIENCE The lavout is clean and easy to read MARIA HUDSON 2. 212-###.#### . emailaddress@marist.edu-LinkedIn URL PUBLIC RELATIONS AND ADVERTISING INTERN Highly motivated communications student seeking internship opportunities in advertising or public relations. Interested in leveraging social media experience and writing skills to positively contribute to an organization's corporate or departmental t includes a link to Maria's professional profile. objectives, while gaining valuable industry experience. Bilingual: fluent in Spanish and English. EDUCATION Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Expected Graduation: Spring 2016) Bachelor of Arts (BA.) in communication; concentration in public relations . Cumulative GPA: 3.7/4.0 Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (Graduation: June 2012) RELEVANT COLLEGE COURSEWORK Writing for College Introduction to Communication Public Presentations Principles of Advertising Maria's goal!s are clear. LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES AND INTERESTS Member. Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA) Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2014-present) Secretary. Communication Arts Society Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013- present) Vice President Morris Hills High School Student Council. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) Varsity Member Morris Hills High School Field Hockey Team Rockaway, NJ (Fall 2011) It plays up Maria's selling points 4 ACHIEVEMENTS Dean's List Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013) Academic Scholarship Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (2012) National Honor Society Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) SKILLS Proficient in Microsoft Office: MS Word MS PowerPoint MS Excel Online Research . Social Media: Twitter·Instagram . Facebook . Tumblr Bilingual: fluent in Spanish (writing and speaking) and English It includes some references to high school WORK EXPERIENCE Applebee's Neighborhood Bar & Grill Parsippany, NJ (Summer 2013) Popular neighborhood restaurant with nearly 2,000 locations across North America Server Successfully multitasked to serve more than one customer at a time and provide a pleasant dining experience · Communicated orders to the kitchen staff and ensured that all orders were accurate and delivered on time .Restocked service areas with supplies. It lists her social media skills. Frog Falls Waterpark Wharton, NJ (Summer 2011, 2012, 2013) Membership-only facility featuring water slides, 25-yard lap lanes, a leisure pool, a lazy river, and a child activity pool Lifeguard Responsible for managing Frog Falls Waterpark's social media accounts: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram Ensured the safety of all swimmers by recognizing emergencies and responding immediately .Provided First Aid immediately and effectively to injured patrons (Certified in CPR, First Aid, and AED) Enforced all policies and procedures pertaining to aquatic facilities; maintained records, reports and activity logs. It doesn't include a list of references. BUSINESS INSIDER jadelyn: chronic-illness-cat: titleknown: hueva-york: la-bufadora: businessinsider: Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Experience yoooo what i need by tomorrow AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Reblogging because I WISH I HAD FUCKING KNOWN ABOUT THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL YEARS AGO! Dear sick Kitties, Please save this to your computer because one day you might be well enough to work in some capacity and it’s unfair for you to have blank spots on your resume/CV. You have worth and validity even if you don’t have a huge work history. YOU have value. This is mostly really good, but I have a couple minor disagreements.  So…here are three recommendations from an HR person who reads a shitton of resumes every day: Move the skills section up to the top!  You know what I give a fuck about the most when I’m reading a resume (at least for entry-level positions)?  WHAT YOU CAN DO.  I frankly don’t give a shit where you learned it.  Tell me what you’re capable of in concrete terms, organized in a bullet-points list or table that I can quickly scan to see if you even stand a chance of matching what we need, because that is all I’m doing in those critical first couple of seconds that decides whether I even bother looking at the rest of the resume.  (Which I get sounds kinda callous but when I have to get through a couple dozen resumes, meaning download, open, read, decide what to do, forward it to the appropriate person if it makes the cut with my comments/summary/recommendations, file it appropriately and go on to the next one, and get back to my other duties and responsibilities - which I don’t have enough hours in the day for as it is - I can’t afford to depth-read every single resume that hits my inbox.) Include volunteer experience as work experience if you have any.  Running the concession stand at a high school club event of some kind counts as cash handling and customer service experience.  Making blog themes for your friends counts as web design experience.  Just because you weren’t getting paid doesn’t mean it wasn’t work experience you can potentially leverage to get actual paying work. Rework that top statement - in its current form it’s looking like some odd hybrid of an executive summary (good!) and an objective statement (bad!), and I’m not sure how I feel about it tbh.  I think it’s the “leveraging…to positively contribute” bit that is pushing all my “ugh no fucking shit sherlock” buttons.  Like…what were you going to say, that you want to skate along doing the bare minimum amount of work and you don’t give a shit about the organization’s goals?  I see way too many regurgitated statements like that - “positively contribute” and “maximize success” and “utilize my skills to further goals” etc. - and they just make my eyes roll out of my head at this point because they’re so generically corporate.  I’d rather see a declarative statement about what you are and what you can do, than what you want. However, huge massive bonus points for putting language fluency right there at the top where I don’t have to go hunting for it - language skills are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS A PLUS and you want to highlight that shit as hard as you can.  Shove that language fluency in my fucking face, PLEASE.  Better that than having to scour your work history for mention of translation or anything like that, which I will only do if I’m A: already liking your qualifications so far, and B: totally fucking desperate for someone who speaks goddamn Spanish already.
 first aid: THE PERFECT RESUME FOR
 SOMEONE WITH NO EXPERIENCE
 The lavout is clean
 and easy to read
 MARIA HUDSON
 2.
 212-###.#### . emailaddress@marist.edu-LinkedIn URL
 PUBLIC RELATIONS AND ADVERTISING INTERN
 Highly motivated communications student seeking internship opportunities in advertising or public relations. Interested in
 leveraging social media experience and writing skills to positively contribute to an organization's corporate or departmental
 t includes a link to
 Maria's professional
 profile.
 objectives, while gaining valuable industry experience. Bilingual: fluent in Spanish and English.
 EDUCATION
 Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Expected Graduation: Spring 2016)
 Bachelor of Arts (BA.) in communication; concentration in public relations . Cumulative GPA: 3.7/4.0
 Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (Graduation: June 2012)
 RELEVANT COLLEGE COURSEWORK
 Writing for College Introduction to Communication Public Presentations Principles of Advertising
 Maria's goal!s
 are clear.
 LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES AND INTERESTS
 Member. Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA) Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2014-present)
 Secretary. Communication Arts Society Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013- present)
 Vice President Morris Hills High School Student Council. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012)
 Varsity Member Morris Hills High School Field Hockey Team Rockaway, NJ (Fall 2011)
 It plays up Maria's
 selling points
 4
 ACHIEVEMENTS
 Dean's List Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013)
 Academic Scholarship Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (2012)
 National Honor Society Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012)
 SKILLS
 Proficient in Microsoft Office: MS Word MS PowerPoint MS Excel
 Online Research . Social Media: Twitter·Instagram . Facebook . Tumblr
 Bilingual: fluent in Spanish (writing and speaking) and English
 It includes some
 references to high
 school
 WORK EXPERIENCE
 Applebee's Neighborhood Bar & Grill Parsippany, NJ (Summer 2013)
 Popular neighborhood restaurant with nearly 2,000 locations across North America
 Server
 Successfully multitasked to serve more than one customer at a time and provide a pleasant dining experience
 ·
 Communicated orders to the kitchen staff and ensured that all orders were accurate and delivered on time
 .Restocked service areas with supplies.
 It lists her social
 media skills.
 Frog Falls Waterpark Wharton, NJ (Summer 2011, 2012, 2013)
 Membership-only facility featuring water slides, 25-yard lap lanes, a leisure pool, a lazy river, and a child activity pool
 Lifeguard
 Responsible for managing Frog Falls Waterpark's social media accounts: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram
 Ensured the safety of all swimmers by recognizing emergencies and responding immediately
 .Provided First Aid immediately and effectively to injured patrons (Certified in CPR, First Aid, and AED)
 Enforced all policies and procedures pertaining to aquatic facilities; maintained records, reports and activity logs.
 It doesn't include a
 list of references.
 BUSINESS INSIDER
jadelyn:
chronic-illness-cat:


titleknown:

hueva-york:

la-bufadora:

businessinsider:

Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Experience

yoooo what i need by tomorrow

AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Reblogging because I WISH I HAD FUCKING KNOWN ABOUT THIS IN HIGH SCHOOL YEARS AGO!


Dear sick Kitties, Please save this to your computer because one day you might be well enough to work in some capacity and it’s unfair for you to have blank spots on your resume/CV. You have worth and validity even if you don’t have a huge work history. YOU have value.


This is mostly really good, but I have a couple minor disagreements.  So…here are three recommendations from an HR person who reads a shitton of resumes every day:

Move the skills section up to the top!  You know what I give a fuck about the most when I’m reading a resume (at least for entry-level positions)?  WHAT YOU CAN DO.  I frankly don’t give a shit where you learned it.  Tell me what you’re capable of in concrete terms, organized in a bullet-points list or table that I can quickly scan to see if you even stand a chance of matching what we need, because that is all I’m doing in those critical first couple of seconds that decides whether I even bother looking at the rest of the resume.  (Which I get sounds kinda callous but when I have to get through a couple dozen resumes, meaning download, open, read, decide what to do, forward it to the appropriate person if it makes the cut with my comments/summary/recommendations, file it appropriately and go on to the next one, and get back to my other duties and responsibilities - which I don’t have enough hours in the day for as it is - I can’t afford to depth-read every single resume that hits my inbox.)

Include volunteer experience as work experience if you have any.  Running the concession stand at a high school club event of some kind counts as cash handling and customer service experience.  Making blog themes for your friends counts as web design experience.  Just because you weren’t getting paid doesn’t mean it wasn’t work experience you can potentially leverage to get actual paying work.

Rework that top statement - in its current form it’s looking like some odd hybrid of an executive summary (good!) and an objective statement (bad!), and I’m not sure how I feel about it tbh.  I think it’s the “leveraging…to positively contribute” bit that is pushing all my “ugh no fucking shit sherlock” buttons.  Like…what were you going to say, that you want to skate along doing the bare minimum amount of work and you don’t give a shit about the organization’s goals?  I see way too many regurgitated statements like that - “positively contribute” and “maximize success” and “utilize my skills to further goals” etc. - and they just make my eyes roll out of my head at this point because they’re so generically corporate.  I’d rather see a declarative statement about what you are and what you can do, than what you want.
However, huge massive bonus points for putting language fluency right there at the top where I don’t have to go hunting for it - language skills are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS A PLUS and you want to highlight that shit as hard as you can.  Shove that language fluency in my fucking face, PLEASE.  Better that than having to scour your work history for mention of translation or anything like that, which I will only do if I’m A: already liking your qualifications so far, and B: totally fucking desperate for someone who speaks goddamn Spanish already.

jadelyn: chronic-illness-cat: titleknown: hueva-york: la-bufadora: businessinsider: Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Res...

first aid: Rare WWI photo depicting soldiers helping their fellow soldier to the first aid tent (circa. 1915)
 first aid: Rare WWI photo depicting soldiers helping their fellow soldier to the first aid tent (circa. 1915)

Rare WWI photo depicting soldiers helping their fellow soldier to the first aid tent (circa. 1915)

first aid: THE PERFECT RESUME FOR SOMEONE WITH NO EXPERIENCE The lavout is clean and easy to read MARIA HUDSON 2. 212-###.#### . emailaddress@marist.edu-LinkedIn URL PUBLIC RELATIONS AND ADVERTISING INTERN Highly motivated communications student seeking internship opportunities in advertising or public relations. Interested in leveraging social media experience and writing skills to positively contribute to an organization's corporate or departmental t includes a link to Maria's professional profile. objectives, while gaining valuable industry experience. Bilingual: fluent in Spanish and English. EDUCATION Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Expected Graduation: Spring 2016) Bachelor of Arts (BA.) in communication; concentration in public relations . Cumulative GPA: 3.7/4.0 Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (Graduation: June 2012) RELEVANT COLLEGE COURSEWORK Writing for College Introduction to Communication Public Presentations Principles of Advertising Maria's goal!s are clear. LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES AND INTERESTS Member. Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA) Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2014-present) Secretary. Communication Arts Society Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013- present) Vice President Morris Hills High School Student Council. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) Varsity Member Morris Hills High School Field Hockey Team Rockaway, NJ (Fall 2011) It plays up Maria's selling points 4 ACHIEVEMENTS Dean's List Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013) Academic Scholarship Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (2012) National Honor Society Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012) SKILLS Proficient in Microsoft Office: MS Word MS PowerPoint MS Excel Online Research . Social Media: Twitter·Instagram . Facebook . Tumblr Bilingual: fluent in Spanish (writing and speaking) and English It includes some references to high school WORK EXPERIENCE Applebee's Neighborhood Bar & Grill Parsippany, NJ (Summer 2013) Popular neighborhood restaurant with nearly 2,000 locations across North America Server Successfully multitasked to serve more than one customer at a time and provide a pleasant dining experience · Communicated orders to the kitchen staff and ensured that all orders were accurate and delivered on time .Restocked service areas with supplies. It lists her social media skills. Frog Falls Waterpark Wharton, NJ (Summer 2011, 2012, 2013) Membership-only facility featuring water slides, 25-yard lap lanes, a leisure pool, a lazy river, and a child activity pool Lifeguard Responsible for managing Frog Falls Waterpark's social media accounts: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram Ensured the safety of all swimmers by recognizing emergencies and responding immediately .Provided First Aid immediately and effectively to injured patrons (Certified in CPR, First Aid, and AED) Enforced all policies and procedures pertaining to aquatic facilities; maintained records, reports and activity logs. It doesn't include a list of references. BUSINESS INSIDER abby-studies-art: hueva-york: la-bufadora: businessinsider: Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Experience yoooo what i need by tomorrow AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU need this!
 first aid: THE PERFECT RESUME FOR
 SOMEONE WITH NO EXPERIENCE
 The lavout is clean
 and easy to read
 MARIA HUDSON
 2.
 212-###.#### . emailaddress@marist.edu-LinkedIn URL
 PUBLIC RELATIONS AND ADVERTISING INTERN
 Highly motivated communications student seeking internship opportunities in advertising or public relations. Interested in
 leveraging social media experience and writing skills to positively contribute to an organization's corporate or departmental
 t includes a link to
 Maria's professional
 profile.
 objectives, while gaining valuable industry experience. Bilingual: fluent in Spanish and English.
 EDUCATION
 Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Expected Graduation: Spring 2016)
 Bachelor of Arts (BA.) in communication; concentration in public relations . Cumulative GPA: 3.7/4.0
 Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (Graduation: June 2012)
 RELEVANT COLLEGE COURSEWORK
 Writing for College Introduction to Communication Public Presentations Principles of Advertising
 Maria's goal!s
 are clear.
 LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES AND INTERESTS
 Member. Public Relations Student Society of America (PRSSA) Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2014-present)
 Secretary. Communication Arts Society Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013- present)
 Vice President Morris Hills High School Student Council. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012)
 Varsity Member Morris Hills High School Field Hockey Team Rockaway, NJ (Fall 2011)
 It plays up Maria's
 selling points
 4
 ACHIEVEMENTS
 Dean's List Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (Spring 2013)
 Academic Scholarship Marist College Poughkeepsie, NY (2012)
 National Honor Society Morris Hills High School. Rockaway, NJ (2011- 2012)
 SKILLS
 Proficient in Microsoft Office: MS Word MS PowerPoint MS Excel
 Online Research . Social Media: Twitter·Instagram . Facebook . Tumblr
 Bilingual: fluent in Spanish (writing and speaking) and English
 It includes some
 references to high
 school
 WORK EXPERIENCE
 Applebee's Neighborhood Bar & Grill Parsippany, NJ (Summer 2013)
 Popular neighborhood restaurant with nearly 2,000 locations across North America
 Server
 Successfully multitasked to serve more than one customer at a time and provide a pleasant dining experience
 ·
 Communicated orders to the kitchen staff and ensured that all orders were accurate and delivered on time
 .Restocked service areas with supplies.
 It lists her social
 media skills.
 Frog Falls Waterpark Wharton, NJ (Summer 2011, 2012, 2013)
 Membership-only facility featuring water slides, 25-yard lap lanes, a leisure pool, a lazy river, and a child activity pool
 Lifeguard
 Responsible for managing Frog Falls Waterpark's social media accounts: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram
 Ensured the safety of all swimmers by recognizing emergencies and responding immediately
 .Provided First Aid immediately and effectively to injured patrons (Certified in CPR, First Aid, and AED)
 Enforced all policies and procedures pertaining to aquatic facilities; maintained records, reports and activity logs.
 It doesn't include a
 list of references.
 BUSINESS INSIDER
abby-studies-art:
hueva-york:

la-bufadora:

businessinsider:

Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Experience

yoooo what i need by tomorrow

AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

need this!

abby-studies-art: hueva-york: la-bufadora: businessinsider: Infographic: 7 Reasons This Is An Excellent Resume For Someone With No Exp...

first aid: U7310, onnaSENHESSER MANCHESTER TENNESSEE 2018 MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL EMINEM THE KILLERS MUSE FUTURE BASSNECTAR STURGILL SIMPSON BON IVER 3U KHALID PARAMORE KASKADE ALT-J DUA LIPA SHERYL CROW ANDERSON PAAK & THE FREE NATIONALS SYLVAN ESSO REBELUTION THE REVIVALISTS VIRTUAL SELF NILE RODGERS & CHIC RÜFÜS DU SOL CHROMEO STS9 ALISON WONDERLAND MOON TAXI CARNAGE BROCKHAMPTON OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW PLAYBOI CARTI THE GLITCH MOB RAG'N'BONE MAN BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE SUPERJAM GRAND OLE OPRY FIRST AID KIT JUNGLE TASH SULTANA T-PAIN MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA BROTHERS OSBORNE GRYFFIN WHAT SO NOT RICH BRIAN TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE BILLIE EILISH DANIEL CAESAR-KALI UCHIS-KAYZO-SLANDER-ARIZONA-ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES LANY THUNDERCAT MAVIS STAPLES HIPPIE SABOTAGE BIG WILD SHIBA SAN SIR SLY DENZEL CURRY MOSES SUMNEY SNAKEHIPS TYLER CHILDERS MR. CARMACK VALENTINO KHAN . AMADOU & MARIAM . MIDLAND . OPIU0 . JAPANESE BREAKFAST JESSIE REYEZ K?D R.LUM.R NOURA MINT SEYMALI GOGO PENGUIN LISSIE CHRIS LAKE BILLY KENNY B2B MIJA DURAND JONES& THE INDICATIONS SPACE JESUS MANIC FOCUS B0OGIE T B2B SQUNTO IKEBE SHAKEDOWN PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG SPAFFORD SAID THE SKY ELOHIM MELVV ALEX LAHEY KNOX FORTUNE LEWIS CAPALDI RON GALLO POND LOUDPVCK.CONWAY WESTSIDE GUNN CLOZEE CHASE ATLANTIC LEVEN KALI BAZZI EVERYTHING EVERYTHING FRENSHIP DROELOE TASKA BLACK MIKKY EKKO THE SPENCER LEE BAND JUSTIN JAY'S FANTASTIC VOYAGE BLANK RANGE BAYONNE BRUNO MAJOR DUCKWRTH THE WAR AND TREATY CYN ARLIE DREAMERS SPENCER LUDWIG THE BRUMMIES JALEN N'GONDA JAIRA BURNS OKEY DOKEY ZESHAN B THE REGRETTES TOBI LOU SHEY BABA CHASTITY BROWN TOPAZ JONES KYLE DION THE TEXAS GENTLEMAN MICHAEL BLUME POST ANIMAL SOUTHERN AVENUE LARKIN POE COLIN ELMORE&THE DANVILLE TRAIN THE BLUE STONES MICHIGAN RATTLERS MATT MAESON FLETCHER MATT HOLUBOWSKI VICTORY BOYD SARO FLOR OLIVER HAZARD JADE BIRD JOHN SPLITHOFF COLIN MACLEOD REPEAT REPEAT LOW CUT CONNIE DAVIE BIYO WALDEN HUNDRED HANDED &MORE LINEUPSUBJECT TO CHANGE Tickets on sale Jan. 12 at 10am ET at BONNAROO.COM How are y’all feeling the Bonnaroo2018 lineup, is it 🔥🔥 or 💩💩? @Bonnaroo WSHH
 first aid: U7310, onnaSENHESSER
 MANCHESTER
 TENNESSEE
 2018
 MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL
 EMINEM THE KILLERS MUSE
 FUTURE BASSNECTAR STURGILL SIMPSON BON IVER 3U
 KHALID PARAMORE KASKADE ALT-J DUA LIPA SHERYL CROW
 ANDERSON PAAK & THE FREE NATIONALS SYLVAN ESSO REBELUTION
 THE REVIVALISTS VIRTUAL SELF NILE RODGERS & CHIC RÜFÜS DU SOL
 CHROMEO STS9 ALISON WONDERLAND MOON TAXI CARNAGE BROCKHAMPTON
 OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW PLAYBOI CARTI THE GLITCH MOB RAG'N'BONE MAN
 BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE SUPERJAM GRAND OLE OPRY FIRST AID KIT JUNGLE
 TASH SULTANA T-PAIN MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA BROTHERS OSBORNE GRYFFIN
 WHAT SO NOT RICH BRIAN TROMBONE SHORTY & ORLEANS AVENUE BILLIE EILISH
 DANIEL CAESAR-KALI UCHIS-KAYZO-SLANDER-ARIZONA-ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES
 LANY THUNDERCAT MAVIS STAPLES HIPPIE SABOTAGE BIG WILD SHIBA SAN
 SIR SLY DENZEL CURRY MOSES SUMNEY SNAKEHIPS TYLER CHILDERS MR. CARMACK
 VALENTINO KHAN . AMADOU & MARIAM . MIDLAND . OPIU0 . JAPANESE BREAKFAST
 JESSIE REYEZ K?D R.LUM.R NOURA MINT SEYMALI GOGO PENGUIN LISSIE CHRIS LAKE
 BILLY KENNY B2B MIJA DURAND JONES& THE INDICATIONS SPACE JESUS MANIC FOCUS
 B0OGIE T B2B SQUNTO IKEBE SHAKEDOWN PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG SPAFFORD
 SAID THE SKY ELOHIM MELVV ALEX LAHEY KNOX FORTUNE LEWIS CAPALDI RON GALLO
 POND LOUDPVCK.CONWAY WESTSIDE GUNN CLOZEE CHASE ATLANTIC LEVEN KALI BAZZI
 EVERYTHING EVERYTHING FRENSHIP DROELOE TASKA BLACK MIKKY EKKO THE SPENCER LEE BAND
 JUSTIN JAY'S FANTASTIC VOYAGE BLANK RANGE BAYONNE BRUNO MAJOR DUCKWRTH
 THE WAR AND TREATY CYN ARLIE DREAMERS SPENCER LUDWIG THE BRUMMIES JALEN N'GONDA
 JAIRA BURNS OKEY DOKEY ZESHAN B THE REGRETTES TOBI LOU SHEY BABA CHASTITY BROWN
 TOPAZ JONES KYLE DION THE TEXAS GENTLEMAN MICHAEL BLUME POST ANIMAL SOUTHERN AVENUE
 LARKIN POE COLIN ELMORE&THE DANVILLE TRAIN THE BLUE STONES MICHIGAN RATTLERS MATT MAESON
 FLETCHER MATT HOLUBOWSKI VICTORY BOYD SARO FLOR OLIVER HAZARD JADE BIRD JOHN SPLITHOFF
 COLIN MACLEOD REPEAT REPEAT LOW CUT CONNIE DAVIE BIYO WALDEN HUNDRED HANDED &MORE
 LINEUPSUBJECT TO CHANGE
 Tickets on sale Jan. 12 at 10am ET at BONNAROO.COM
How are y’all feeling the Bonnaroo2018 lineup, is it 🔥🔥 or 💩💩? @Bonnaroo WSHH

How are y’all feeling the Bonnaroo2018 lineup, is it 🔥🔥 or 💩💩? @Bonnaroo WSHH